Bailing on Dates


From the original article on August 10, 2007. Author: Chateau Heartiste.

I don’t use tricks during dates like having my cell phone ring with an “emergency” call, saying I’m going to the bathroom and then escaping through the window, or telling my date “I think I’m falling in love with you” to give me an out in case it’s not going well. It’s incompatible with being a man who doesn’t make excuses for his actions. If a date is bombing I smile warmly and simply tell her “It was a pleasure meeting you. Good luck with everything.” No need to wait around hoping for sexual attraction to magically appear. Walking off like this can even make a girl suddenly hot for you. Don’t be surprised if you get a conciliatory call from her the next day.

Dating a lot of women gives you a sixth sense to know within minutes whether the girl is connecting with you. If she’s not, cut the cord — time saved is time earned toward gaming new women. I once walked away from a bad date and number closed another woman on the walk home. There is no worse thing a man can do than to continue buying drinks and yapping for hours with a girl who is not warming up to him physically.

When a date is going particularly badly, or the girl is someone of especially poor character, I’ll get a dig in before walking off. It’s petty, true, but it gives me pleasure to inflict cruelty on a deserving victim. On a first date with a Desi girl she talked (unprompted) non-stop about her Indian ex-boyfriend and how her father didn’t like him and how he was overly ambitious in his career and yada yada. After she finally came up for air I asked her a series of seemingly innocent questions about her values and her past relationships. I then began to psychologically deconstruct her, picking apart her psyche and painting a picture of her personality. I leaned back and waited for her reaction. Offended, she snapped “I really don’t like you drawing conclusions about me.”
Pay dirt.
“But you make it so easy.”

Since single girls, like guys, act to hide their personality flaws when out on the town looking to hook up, and since it is hard to discern all of a person’s unsavory traits in fifteen minutes over gin and tonics in a dark lounge, I always try to insta-date the first night I meet a girl. Bouncing with her from the club to the bar down the street to the pizza place or pool hall gives me a better opportunity to learn about her without putting in the extra effort to arrange a future date at a specified location. This ultimately saves time and feels more natural. Plus, same night multiple venue changing operates on the principle of time distortion, where you two feel like you’ve shared more time together getting to know each other in different environments than you actually have.


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