From the original article on February 1, 2011. Author: Chateau Heartiste.
Don’t call back right away. Done properly, you will start to hear girls say things like “I didn’t hear back from you. You were making me nervous!”
Never buy better gifts for her than the gifts she buys for you. (Occasionally, you will want to buy her a gift, you cheap fuck.)
Dress better than her on random, uneventful days. “Wow, you look spiffy today. What’s this for?”
Take frequent leaves of absence. Preferably international.
Drag your feet about introducing her to your friends and family. Just keep saying “Someday.” Your delaying tactic will earn bonus points if she has already introduced you to her friends and family.
Never give her spare keys to your place.
Don’t live together. It’s much harder to project mystery living under the same roof, watching each other fold laundry every week. (Not to mention side action will be more difficult to coordinate.)
Subtly acknowledge other girls flirting with you when you are out with her. An eye lock usually does the trick.
Don’t ask questions about her. (“Aren’t you going to ask how my trip went?”) A high value man does not find the lives of others very interesting in comparison to his own.
Get drunk without her.
Cancel dates. (Make the reason seem apparently legitimate, but suspicious.)
Show flashes of anger. She has to know you will never be a doormat.
Occasionally be emotionally distant. She has to think you mull the idea of leaving her.
Muse wistfully about past lovers.
Never take her on dinner dates before you’ve had sex with her.
Never agree to meet her friends before you’ve had sex with her.
Nerver spend more than the price of a few high alcohol content drinks on her before you’ve had sex with her.
Never do her a favor before you’ve had sex with her.
Always try to get her to do you a favor before you’ve had sex with her. (Compliance tests. These are the male version of shit tests.)
Never introduce her to anyone you know before you’ve had sex with her, unless its former hot girlfriends or friends who happen to be hot girls. (Exception: If you have a known player buddy for a friend, make sure she sees you hanging out with him. This way, in the future, every time you mention you are having a beer with him, her hamster will run the wheel off its axel.)
When you receive texts and phone calls in her company, never tell her who they’re from. If she asks, scold her for being a creepy eavesdropper.
Never laugh at her jokes, even when they’re funny. If you must, chuckle under your breath.
Password protect EVERYTHING.
Do not have a Facebook profile. If you do, it is filled with pics of you and an assortment of hot chicks. No exceptions.
On the morning of a first or second date with her, send her this cryptic text message: “Change of plans.” If she responds, do not reply. Give her the gift of fretting all afternoon. Two hours before the scheduled date time, text her again: “Meeting at [bar B] instead of [bar A].” She will breathe a huge sigh of relief. If on the off chance she says she made other plans, don’t reply. The goal of nearly every communicative interaction with women in the early stages of courtship is to keep their hamster spinning as much as possible.
When at her place, eat all her food, leave the seat up, change her TV channels, and torture her cat. Act like it’s your second home.
Do all of the above and you will be able to date women one to three points higher than you could be expected to get by societal standards. Do these to a girlfriend and you will be a god to her. A god among penii.
When she sees you as a god, she is:
– less likely to stray
– more likely to do anal
– less likely to bitch and moan
– more likely to wear lingerie every day of the week
– less likely to dump or divorce you
– more likely to forgive your cheating
– less likely to make demands of you
– more likely to cater to your needs.
Does that sound good to you? Yes? Then get to artificially pumping up your status! Years of sacrifice in academia and the corporate world not needed.
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