Heartiste

On Game

HEARTISTE

Copyright © 2019 by Heartiste

All rights reserved.

ISBN 978-1-69-496913-2

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to all the men (and women) that have had their life saved by the writings of the Chateau, both in the USA and all over the world.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

i

1

Foundations

Pg 1

Endless Dating

The Fundamental Premise

Double Standards

Latest Baumeister Paper Supports CH Concept of the Sexual Market

This Is Your Life

Arnie

Men with Options

What Do Women Want? A Master

The Ideal Lover Can Never Be the Great Boyfriend

The Sixteen Commandments of Poon

The Fundamentals

The Most Flattering Words You Can Hear from A Woman

Love

1

3

4

5

13

14

16

20

21

23

27

29

29

2

Chicks: Their Ways And Workings

Pg 31

Where Guys Falter

Away from The Company of Women

The Most Misogynistic Blog Post on the Internet

Why Do Conservatives Sanctify Women

Heady Pettiness

Better Than Again: The Female Secret Code Decoder Dictionary

Womanese-to-English Translator

The Top Three Qualities That Make A Girl Good Girlfriend Material

Quality Girl

It's Easy to Identify A Slut

What A Girl's Job Tells You

Judging A Girl by the Friends She Keeps

The Difficulty of Gaming Women by Age Bracket

The Wall

Time to Boredom

Quality Vs Quantity, Formula Version

Wrapped Around His Finger

31

32

33

34

38

39

41

45

48

49

55

59

63

68

70

73

75

3

Game: Mindset

Pg 80

State of Mind

The Natural’s Dilemma

Persistence: The Underrated Alpha Male Quality

Inner Game

Are Ugly Women Necessary As Stepping Stones?

I Only Play Games with Girls Who Deserve It

It Builds Character to Reject Women

How to Inure Yourself to Beautiful Women

Your Training to Delight Women

Screening Girls

Don't Stop Thinking about the Next Girl

80

81

82

85

86

89

91

93

94

96

98

4

Game: Seduction

Pg 101

Body Language

Alpha Body Language

Just Say Something

Game Is 50% Not Putting Foot in Mouth

The Sexual Frame

Qualifying Her

What Do You Do If A Girl Calls Your Disqualification Bluff?

A-Hole Game A Series

Being the Right Kind of Asshole

Direct Game Essentials

Generalizing Your Way into Her Panties

‘Are You Seeing Anyone?’

The Fine Art of Teasing

The Class Clown Puts Her in the Mood

A Devious Takeaway

Storytelling Aka Fibbing

Contrast Is King

Mixing Signals to Dazzle Women

Trumped-Up Charges

When to Move in For The Kiss On A First Date

‘Get Lost’

How To Handle Femmes Fatales

Should You Call Out A Girl’s Bad Behavior?

Common Mistakes You Will Make While Learning Game

Common Pickup Mistakes Men Make

Overqualifying Yourself to Girls

Anti-Game

Lying for Sex

Paying for Dates

Getting Rusty

When You Know You're Doing It Right

101

105

108

111

112

113

114

121

125

127

130

132

134

136

137

139

142

145

149

151

156

158

168

170

173

175

177

180

182

183

186

5

Game: Sex

Pg 188

Hotter Women, Better Sex

Plausible Deniability

I'm Saving Myself for An Asshole

The Most Exciting Sex

The Sexiest Sex Positions

Sex Talk

Play Rape

Sex and Socks

Why You Should Leave After Sex

188

189

191

193

194

198

199

202

202

6

Game: Relationships

Pg 205

Going All in Or Cashing Out

Hedonic Convergence

Dread

Keys to A Healthy Relationship

Relationship Game Week

Relationship Game Week: Subtle Dominance Plays

Relationship Game Week: Agree and Amplify

Relationship Game Week: A Reader’s Journey

Relationship Game: Tender Lovemaking Edition

Relationship Game: I Love You Too

Relationship Game Thoughts

A Failsafe Way to Get Hand

Keeping Your Woman in Line

Top Two Rules for Dating Younger Women

High Energy Dates

What to Do When A Girl Starts Crying For No Reason

The Hazards of Long-Term Relationships

Leaving Her Better Than You Found Her? Not Likely

Sweetness

205

208

211

213

214

215

218

221

231

234

236

238

239

241

242

244

245

250

253

7

Game: Marriage

Pg 256

Marriage vs LTRs

Don't Get Married

The Lie of Locking Her In

Long-Term Cohabitation Is Just As Good As Marriage

Why Sluts Make Bad Wives

How To Propose Like An Alpha Male

256

257

261

265

268

271

8

Game: Sexbots

Pg 274

Sexbots

Sexbots Update

274

277

9

Tips & Tricks

Pg 278

Stray Thoughts on the Nature of the Game

Motivation & Pregame CR

Opportunity Is Everywhere

Curiosity, Women and Game

My Personal Pickup Openers

A Short List of Street Openers

Flirty Quips to Female Small Talk

Drive-By Teases

‘I Have A Boyfriend’ Responses

Two Words Women Love to Hear

Statements That Imply Your Higher Value

Cheap and Easy Ways to Raise Your Value to A Girl

Raising Your Value by Telling Women You Have Stalkers

The Subtle Art of the Insidious Neg

Brushing Off Common Shit Tests from Girls

The Feminism Shit Test

How To Remain Unflustered Like An Alpha Male

Seducing Women Is A Children’s Game

Tard Game

The Love Test: A Routine

I Have A Police Record. What Do I Tell Girls?

Stealing Bait from Women Fishing for Compliments

Penis Pic Game

Teasing Should Be Like Breathing

What Is Anti-Game?

She Insulted You. Now What?

The Right Game for Your Body

Owning A Dog Is Training for Owning A Woman

The Easiest Way to Bang A Hot Chick

Betas Can Find Love, Too

The Undercover Orbiter Strategy

The Perfect Christmas Gifts for Your Girlfriend(S)

The Two Exceptions to Game

The Limits of Game

Why Game Is Important for Fathers

A Father’s Questions

278

280

282

284

287

290

293

295

296

299

301

302

303

304

307

315

317

310

321

321

324

326

327

332

334

337

339

352

353

356

358

361

365

368

371

375

10

Personal Improvement

Pg 378

My Life Philosophy

So You Want To Be A Badboy

Bachelor Pad Themes

Bachelor Pad Seduction Props

The Importance of Male Style

Dress Like A Sexy Beast

The Pickup Artist’s Car of Choice

The Testosterone Guide

Dirty Photo Album

378

379

381

384

386

388

394

398

401

11

Illustrations

Pg 403

The Look of Confidence

Visualizing Alpha / Beta

Beta Valentine

Dating in the City: A Series

Chronicles of A 21st Century Bachelor

403

405

413

417

421

12

Glossary

Pg 425

What Does It Mean to Be Off the Market?

Excerpt from the Book of Alpha

Contraption

Be A Skittles Man

Chicks Dig Jerks: Game Is Its Own Status

425

428

428

431

433

13

Bonus Material

Pg 441

Don't Be That Girl

International Truth Day

Universal Truths Day

Grabbing the New Year by the Zeroes

The Omegas Among Us

The Most Obnoxious Woman in the World

Game Resources

Maxims

441

442

444

446

448

451

457

459

1 FOUNDATIONS

ENDLESS DATING

How long is too long to stay in the dating game? The primary reason for the psychological unease and emotional instability of so many modern women and to a different extent modern men resides in the irresolvable tension between our ancient biological inheritance and the relatively recent emergence of the high-tech rootless world of unparalleled mate choice we now inhabit.

It would shock most people if they were to be transported back in time to when humans lived in small tribes to see young girls having babies at 14 and again at 14 years and 9.5 months. There are subsistence cultures that behave this way today. The bulk of our pre-history was spent in conditions like this so it is no wonder that our brains are having trouble coping with a radically different environment where childbirth is routinely put off until themid-30s, if at all, and rejection by a woman no longer means banishment to the icy wastelands of celibate metadeath when a man need merely walk to the other side of a bar to try again.

One consequence of this new paradigm is the absurd number of years spent in the dating circuit.

Women are designed by nature to begin the next generation not much older than age 25. Her risk of miscarriage or fetal abnormalities increases each year after that and exponentially so after 35. Her body begins to wear down which affects how much energy she can devote to raising small children. If she has not found a suitable mate by her late 20s she will begin to notice that those powerful feelings of infatuation she felt for crushes when she was younger, perfectly created by evolution to bring a man and woman together to make babies, now seem muted and foggy. This in turn will sap the dating experience of the best things it has going for it – namely, the spontaneity, the euphoria, the intense drive to connect – and leave behind a desiccated simulacra of dating that more closely resembles haggling over a business deal or suffering through a job interview. Overthinking replaces lust.

It is an embittering realization.

Men, too, have had to adjust under the new system. Anthropologically-speaking, it wasn’t so long ago that a man (or his immediate kin) blew his entire wad of hard-earned social and material capital wooing one or two women over the course of his natural lifespan. In a pre-birth control age when the first deflowering blast inside a woman often meant conception followed by years of fatherhood there were limits on just how many female sex partners the average man could accumulate in a lifetime. The rigorous experience of winning over and keeping the best quality woman he could afford and then providing for their kids soon thereafter meant that serial dating was not a typical feature of life. Dating 40 or 50 different women in a year and jumping haphazardly in and out of 3-month mini-relationships is a peculiarity of modern life for which men are not optimized. The energy requirement is enormous. Men have adapted to this stressful cycle of meet-attract-close-keep by either settling and marrying the first girl that would have them (usually high school sweethearts who have not lived enough to acquire unrealistically picky standards) or by hardening themselves against the judgment of women and learning to play the numbers game.

The game begat the player.

In the gigantic atomized urban tribe of any big city playing the numbers is not the high risk strategy it once was for our distant male ancestors who were often locked out of any future matings when a pickup attempt went awry and the target or cockblock would run and tell the whole tribe what a loser he is. Today, the proximity of exes has very little impact on potential future conquests. For men, this has bought them virtually unlimited opportunity to get laid. For women, this has robbed them of one of their most potent weapons in ensuring that only the fittest males get access to their vaginas — the withering ostracization of their sexual rejection.

On the flipside, men have lost confidence in the fidelity of their chosen partners while women have gained unstigmatized sexual freedom allowing them to play the field until the perfect man finally arrives to sweep them off their feet.

I do not think the current reality of endless dating can last. Something must give. Either humans will evolve into different social animals capable of withstanding decades of hookups and fragmentary relationships without turning to the comforts of cats and internet porn, or those people who serially date and delay childbirth will not have enough kids and natural selection will remove them from the gene pool as a failed experiment. Either way, change is in the air.

THE FUNDAMENTAL PREMISE

Eggs are expensive, sperm is cheap. Every psychological dynamic you see playing out in mass societies liberated from artificial constraints on the sexual market flows from this premise. This means, as a systemic matter, women are coddled, men are upbraided. Women are victims, men are victimizers. Women need a leg up, men need to man up. Women have advocacy groups, men have equal opportunity violations. A woman subjected to the indignity of eavesdropping on a tame joke about dongles makes national news, while the chilling fact that 95% of all workplace deaths are suffered by men barely pings the media consciousness.

It is what it is, and it will never change so long as humans are a sexually reproducing species. All the laws in the world can at best only paper over the very primal compulsion of people to value the life of the average woman more than the life of the average man, and sympathize accordingly. Railing against it is akin to shaking a fist at sunspots and gamma rays. It’s therefore folly or self-serving disingenuousness to act like there’s some moral high ground to stake out by imparting culpable agency to an indifferent, organically emergent biomechanical phenomenon. Rationalizing favoritism toward women as some sort of payback for male privilege, or refusing to acknowledge this favoritism altogether, is an example of the cognitive calisthenics and evasive sophistry most people will indulge to avoid grappling with the cold, black void of an uncaring evolutionary replication machine.

If you are a man, know that the moment you were born the universe had it in for you. The deck was stacked. The deal was raw. Your expendability was programmed into your wet code before you gained self-awareness. The worldscape of genes can rebuild with the seed of one man should catastrophe strike, but each woman lost is a lethal blow to the repopulation project.

In sober moments free of maudlin introspection, you will understand there is no other game to play save this one. This is why to live as a man is to TAKE what you want. Not to wait for it to be given to you. Because it will never be given. Not to anticipate the empathy of the overseers. Because they will never empathize. Not to expect the coddling of the crowd. Because they will never coddle. Not to assume the wagon circling of kindreds. Because they will never circle for you. You got the short stick, now what? Do you contemplate it and hope for a longer one? No.

You sharpen it and jab it into the heart of every obstacle that sets itself in your way.

DOUBLE STANDARDS

You hear it all the time from people who are getting shafted by reality.“It’s so UNFAIR that guys get to do X with impunity while girls doing X suffer social stigma.” They think by bitching like this and attempting to shame those who would live in harmony with double standards they can alter people’s behavior into something more to their liking (i.e., a non-status driven, non-materialistic, non-craven utopia of perfect loving LTRs where no one is left out and no one gets dumped and everyone has a soulmate and enough positive life-affirming experiences to share with their yenta friends in recipe-swapping blogs devoted to covering the fascinating minutiae of their funny, exciting, sexy, touching, poignant, growth-oriented lives.)

Then there are those who, when called out on their inconsistencies, deploy a swarm of sophistry intended to obfuscate and deny the existence of double standards because they are beneficiaries of them. Acknowledging these truths would mean coming to terms with the fact that they, like everyone else, have at their core an animal nature.

Fuck that noize. The truth of the matter is that double standards are necessary if you want to be halfway competent in your dealings with men and women. As the author of “Looking Out for #1″ and “Winning Through Intimidation” wrote:

If you deny reality it will automatically work against you.*

Double standards are fixed features of life as a sexually reproducing social organism. The modern career woman is miserable because she is constantly locking horns with men who won’t value her for her career achievement as much as for her hourglass figure and bedroom skills, while these same men admire and respect career dominance by other men. Her refusal to come to grips with this essential double standard explains why so many hard-charging women have turned their backs on their own femininity and lost the art of female coquettishness and submissiveness. Alpha men have responded by fucking and leaving these domineering gender impostors for cute waitresses. Betas have responded in their own way — by assuming the doormat position and giving these feminists *exactly* what they claim they want.

The same goes for sluts. A man who sleeps with many women gets high fives from his buddies and sexual interest from girls who can’t help their burning loins. But girls who sleep around are socially ostracized, used by men and shunned by women. It has always been and it will always be as long as a woman has 400 eggs to a man’s nearly infinite number of sperm. Parents will treat their sons and daughters differently when dispensing advice on how to deal with the opposite sex and all the harpies with their multiple humanities degrees shrieking equalist platitudes to the high heavens will never change this. It’s one thing to bloviate from a comfy tenured perch while your lesbian lover sucks ben wa balls out of your cooch from under the desk; it’s quite another to entrust the welfare of your children with the twisted lies of the Bitterati.

*pretty girls have some leeway with this rule. (at least for a while. heh.)

A handy pocket guide to the most common double standards:

male slut = lothario

female slut = desperate

male CEO = alpha

female CEO = bitch

male model = silly

female model = alpha

male nerd = loser

female nerd = cute

young male death = statistic

young female death = tragedy

male nurse = beta

female nurse = agreeable

male stripper = clown

female stripper = desirable

male sports star = role model

female sports star = butch

LATEST BAUMEISTER PAPER SUPPORTS CH CONCEPT OF THE SEXUAL MARKET

Baumeister, the primary coauthor behind the seminal 2004 paper titled “Sexual Economics: Sex as Female Resource for Social Exchange in Heterosexual Interactions”, has released online the latest addition to that work, titled “Sexual Economics, Culture, Men, and Modern Sexual Trends“, another steely-eyed examination of the sexes that pretty much validates the core Chateau Heartiste concept of the existence of a merciless sexual market, and its primacy among all markets.

I was planning to write a sole synopsis and commentary on the recent study, but others, like Mangan (back from hiatus), have done a good job covering the essential hypotheses and conclusions in the paper, so instead I’ll post in addition, in the near future, an email from a reader who forwarded to CH his astute objections and comments to the original Baumeister paper in an email sent to the author. (I don’t know if Baumeister replied.)

(Quick aside: Mangan asks a related question regarding a prominent claim in the Baumeister paper that men supported the entrance of women into the workforce to increase men’s sexual access: “Is there a direct relationship between looser morals and more women in public life?” I would bet that there is, and that a trend toward higher female participation in the workforce, and particularly in government and similar social gatekeeper occupations, is one of the crucial indicators that a nation is beginning the downward spiral into stasis and eventual decline.)

Continuing, some choice quotes (with editor commentary) pulled from the latest Baumeister/Vohs (a woman!) paper to give you a flavor for its contents.

In simple terms, we proposed that in sex, women are the suppliers and men constitute the demand (Baumeister and Vohs 2004). Hence the anti-democratic, seemingly paradoxical sex ratio findings that Regnerus describes. When women are in the minority, the sexual marketplace conforms to their preferences: committed relationships, widespread virginity, faithful partners, and early marriage. For example, American colleges in the 1950s conformed to that pattern. In our analysis, women benefit in such circumstances because the demand for their sexuality exceeds the supply. In contrast, when women are the majority, such as on today’s campuses as well as in some ethnic minority communities, things shift toward what men prefer: Plenty of sex without commitment, delayed marriage, extradyadic copulations, and the like. [ed: yep, life has been good for those of us who know the score.] […]

Sexual marketplaces take the shape they do because nature has biologically built a disadvantage into men: a huge desire for sex that makes men dependent on women. Men’s greater desire puts them at a disadvantage, just as when two parties are negotiating a possible sale or deal, the one who is more eager to make the deal is in a weaker position than the one who is willing to walk away without the deal. [ed: this is why practiced male aloofness is attractive to women — it signals that the man is holding a stronger market position, and that his goods are therefore valuable.] Women certainly desire sex too — but as long as most women desire it less than most men, women have a collective advantage, and social roles and interactions will follow scripts that give women greater power than men (Baumeister et al. 2001). [ed: culture emerges from sexually differentiated genetic roots.] We have even concluded that the cultural suppression of female sexuality throughout much of history and across many different cultures has largely had its roots in the quest for marketplace advantage (see Baumeister and Twenge 2002). Women have often sustained their advantage over men by putting pressure on each other to restrict the supply of sex available to men. As with any monopoly or cartel, restricting the supply leads to a higher price. […]

Recent work has found that across a large sample of countries today, the economic and political liberation of women is positively correlated with greater availability of sex (Baumeister and Mendoza 2011). Thus, men’s access to sex has turned out to be maximized not by keeping women in an economically disadvantaged and dependent condition, but instead by letting them have abundant access and opportunity. [ed: was the sexual and feminist revolution fomented by undersexed beta males? a case can be made.] In an important sense, the sexual revolution of the 1970s was itself a market correction. Once women had been granted wide opportunities for education and wealth, they no longer had to hold sex hostage (Baumeister and Twenge 2002). [ed: that is, they no longer had to suffer the indignity of beta provider courtship. now that they had the resources, it was open season on alpha male cock hopping. the sexual revolution appears to have backfired on beta males expecting a bigger slice of the snatch pie.]

What does all this mean for men? The social trends suggest the continuing influence of a stable fact, namely the strong desire of young men for sexual activity. As the environment has shifted, men have simply adjusted their behavior to find the best means to achieve this same goal. Back in 1960, it was difficult to get sex without getting married or at least engaged, and so men married early. To be sure, this required more than being willing to bend the knee, declare love, and offer a ring. To qualify as marriage material, a man had to have a job or at least a strong prospect of one (such as based on an imminent college degree). The man’s overarching goal of getting sex thus motivated him to become a respectable stakeholder contributing to society.

The fact that men became useful members of society as a result of their efforts to obtain sex is not trivial, and it may contain important clues as to the basic relationship between men and culture (see Baumeister 2010). Although this may be considered an unflattering characterization, and it cannot at present be considered a proven fact, we have found no evidence to contradict the basic general principle that men will do whatever is required in order to obtain sex, and perhaps not a great deal more. [ed: that last clause is critical. men will always take the path of least resistance to sex. it is up to women to make that path more difficult if they want to extract more concessions from men.] (One of us characterized this in a previous work as, “If women would stop sleeping with jerks, men would stop being jerks.”) If in order to obtain sex men must become pillars of the community, or lie, or amass riches by fair means or foul, or be romantic or funny, then many men will do precisely that. This puts the current sexual free-for-all on today’s college campuses in a somewhat less appealing light than it may at first seem. [ed: what’s interesting and unspoken here is that the sexual free-for-all is chugging along nicely well beyond and outside of the college years, with the difference being that, in their 20s and 30s, a select number of fewer men (let’s call them… alpha males) are enjoying the ample premarital rewards of sexually available women.] Giving young men easy access to abundant sexual satisfaction deprives society of one of its ways to motivate them to contribute valuable achievements to the culture. [ed: damn, i’m torn. do i want a thriving society or easier access to sex? yeeeeah… i’ll take the latter and leave the self-sacrifice required of the former for the anti-poolside chumps.]

The changes in gender politics since 1960 can be seen as involving a giant trade, in which both genders yielded something of lesser importance to them in order to get something they wanted more (Baumeister and Vohs 2004). As Regnerus states, partly based on our own extensive survey of research findings, men want sex, indeed more than women want it (Baumeister et al. 2001). Women, meanwhile, want not only marriage but also access to careers and preferential treatment in the workplace. [ed: women are the reproductively more valuable sex, and so it makes sense that evolution would have “gifted” women with an oversized entitlement complex and the inability to engage in self-criticism.]

The giant trade thus essentially involved men giving women not only easy access but even preferential treatment in the huge institutions that make up society, which men created. [ed: but the grand bargain did not work out as intended for the masses of beta males who acquiesced to the new girl order. while alpha males certainly saw more action from “liberated” women, the average joe did not. instead, all the average joe got in return for sacrificing his workplace status in hopes of easier sex was… a heaping helping of humiliation and wage stagnation and anti-joe animus, which continues at an accelerated pace to this day. this is a critical distinction i would like to see Baumeister address.] Today most schools, universities, corporations, scientific organizations, governments, and many other institutions have explicit policies to protect and promote women. It is standard practice to hire or promote a woman ahead of an equally qualified man. Most large organizations have policies and watchdogs that safeguard women’s interests and ensure that women gain preferential treatment over men. Parallel policies or structures to protect men’s interests are largely nonexistent and in many cases are explicitly prohibited. Legal scholars, for example, point out that any major new law is carefully scrutinized by feminist legal scholars who quickly criticize any aspect that could be problematic or disadvantageous to women, and so all new laws are women-friendly. Nobody looks out for men, and so the structural changes favoring women and disadvantaging men have accelerated (Baumeister and Vohs 2004). […]

Even today, the women’s movement has been a story of women demanding places and preferential treatment in the organizational and institutional structures that men create, rather than women creating organizations and institutions themselves. Almost certainly, this reflects one of the basic motivational differences between men and women, which is that female sociality is focused heavily on one-to-one relationships, whereas male sociality extends to larger groups networks of shallower relationships (e. G., Baumeister and Sommer 1997; Baumeister 2010). Crudely put, women hardly ever create large organizations or social systems. That fact can explain most of the history of gender relations, in which the gender near-equality of prehistorical societies was gradually replaced by progressive inequality—not because men banded together to oppress women, but because cultural progress arose from the men’s sphere with its large networks of shallow relationships, while the women’s sphere remained stagnant because its social structure emphasized intense one-to-one relationships to the near exclusion of all else (see Baumeister 2010). All over the world and throughout history (and prehistory), the contribution of large groups of women to cultural progress has been vanishingly small. [ed: what do you think will happen to a nation’s cultural progress when it goes out of its way to give preferential treatment to its women who, as a sex, prefer tawdry one-to-one relationships to men’s preference for the growth potential in large shallow relationships? that’s right, the economy and the culture come more and more to reflect women’s preferences. result: progress that is the hallmark of rising empires grinds to a halt.] […]

Why have men acquiesced so much in giving women the upper hand in society’s institutions? It falls to men to create society (because women almost never create large organizations or cultural systems). It seems foolish and self-defeating for men then to meekly surrender advantageous treatment in all these institutions to women. Moreover, despite many individual exceptions, in general and on average men work harder at their jobs in these institutions than women, thereby enabling men to rise to the top ranks. As a result, women continue to earn less money and have lower status than men, which paradoxically is interpreted to mean that women’s preferential treatment should be continued and possibly increased (see review of much evidence in Baumeister2010). Modern society is not far from embracing explicit policies of “equal pay for less work,” as one of us recently proposed. Regardless of that prospect, it appears that preferential treatment of women throughout the workforce is likely to be fairly permanent. Because of women’s lesser motivation and ambition, they will likely never equal men in achievement, and their lesser attainment is politically taken as evidence of the need to continue and possibly increase preferential treatment for them. [ed: the preferences shall continue until morale improves.]

But this pattern of male behavior makes more sense if we keep in mind that getting sex is a high priority for men, especially young men. Being at a permanent disadvantage in employment and promotion prospects, as a result of affirmative action policies favoring women, is certainly a cost to young men, but perhaps not a highly salient one. What is salient is that sex is quite readily available. As Regnerus reports, even a man with dismal career prospects (e. G., having dropped out of high school) can find a nice assortment of young women to share his bed.

Mangan makes a valid objection to this Baumeister theory that affirmative action for women increased men’s sexual access by noting that it was likely contraception and cost-of-sex-reducing technology — the Pill, abortion, and penicillin — which opened the floodgates to “free” love. I put “free” in quotes because in reality, the sexual revolution did not benefit all men equally; alpha males got the lion’s share of premarital sex from economically self-sufficient women. Beta males suffered more than usual, having to endure watching from the sidelines as alpha males cleaned up, while simultaneously being deprived of the best leverage they had in the sexual market: their promise of marital resources.

However, I do think Baumeister is onto something true, in that increased female workplace participation meant that men with reasonably high status jobs had a lot more fleshy temptresses from whom to conveniently choose, and that women must certainly have felt less restricted in their sexuality once they were meeting their own financial needs and could afford to risk happy dalliances with sexually desirable, but more non-committal, alpha males.

Again, Le Chateau was on top of all this years ago, when we proposed a sea change in the American cultural landscape heralded by the coming of the FourFiveSix Sirens of the Sexual Apocalypse:

Effective and widely available contraceptives (the Pill, condom, and the de facto contraceptive abortion).

Easy peasy no-fault divorce.

Women’s economic independence (hurtling towards women’s economic advantage if the college enrollment ratio is any indication).

Rigged feminist-inspired laws that have caused a disincentivizing of marriage for men and an incentivizing of divorce for women.

Penicillin (reduced the cost of contracting STDs).

Widely available hardcore porn.

I added numbers five and six to the list of Sexual Apocalypse Sirens, because they seem to me just as important to understanding how the sexual market changed in the last fifty or so years.

So, a crib sheet of quippy replies if you ever need it to send a feminist or manboob howling with indignation:

1. The Pill

2. No-fault divorce

3. Working women

4. Man-hating feminism

5. Penicillin

6. Porn

Toss into a social salad bowl already brimming with an influx of non-European immigrants thanks to the 1965 soft genocide act, mix thoroughly, and voila!: a huge, inexorable, relentless leftward shift in American politics, an explosion of single moms, wage stagnation, government growth, upper class childlessness, lower class dysgenics, and a creaking, slow deterioration in the foundational vigor of the nation and the gutting of the pride of her people.

Into this pot pie of portent throw in the Skittles Man, Bring the Movies Man, Nah Man, and Disappeared Again Man, for whom girls have always swooned but who now, thanks to relaxed pressure from women themselves requiring men to put a ring on it before getting any huggy or kissy, and the incentivizing of risky sexual behavior by government policy and contraceptive technology, could enjoy sex without the entanglement of marriage or gainful employment.

Game, for all the shit it gets from the usual suspects, was just a rational response to a radically altered playing field. It didn’t cause this calamity; it just profited from it.

Meanwhile, beta males are left scratching their block-like skulls, wondering what the fuck just happened.

Back to Baumeister.

Nowadays young men [ed: correction: alpha males] can skip the wearying detour of getting education and career prospects to qualify for sex. Nor does he have to get married and accept all those costs, including promising to share his lifetime earnings and forego other women forever. Female sex partners are available without all that. [ed: …to those men with charm in the game.]

So maybe the young men don’t care that much about how the major social institutions in the world of work have become increasingly rigged to favor women. Sex has become free and easy. This is today’s version of the opiate of the (male) masses. The male who beds multiple women is enjoying life quite a bit, and so he may not notice or mind the fact that his educational and occupational advancement is vaguely hampered by all the laws and policies that push women ahead of him. After all, one key reason he wanted that advancement was to get sex, and he already has that. Climbing the corporate ladder for its own sake may still hold some appeal, but undoubtedly it was more compelling when it was vital for obtaining sex. Success isn’t as important as it once was, when it was a prerequisite for sex. [ed: success isn’t as important for beta males, either, because success doesn’t provide the same sexual market leverage like it used to for them. how is a no-game-having, 9-to-5er beta male supposed to woo a lawyercunt pulling six figures?]

If men don’t need career success to get sex, then what if anything do they need success for? Some research indicates that career motivation really intensifies for men when they become fathers. Indeed, it has long been known that the transition to parenthood has opposite effects by gender. New mothers withdraw from their work and careers; new fathers embrace work and career with enhanced seriousness and motivation (for a review see Baumeister 1991). [ed: the “pay gap” explained.] […]

With regard to work, the societal changes are producing less contribution by men and more by women. These might offset, with few or no costs to society. Still, replacing male with female workers may bring some changes, insofar as the two genders approach work differently. Compared to men, women have higher rates of absenteeism, seek social rewards more than financial ones, are less ambitious, work fewer hours overall, are more prone to take extended career interruptions, and identify less with the organizations they work for. They are more risk averse, resulting in fewer entrepreneurs and inventions. (Baumeister 2010, noted an appalling gender imbalance in new patents; nobody is seriously suggesting that the U. S. Patent office systematically discriminates against women, but women simply do not apply for patents in anything close to the rate that men do.) Women are less interested in science and technology fields. They create less wealth (for themselves and others). [ed: the roman empire wept.] […]

The female contribution of sex to the marriage is evanescent: As women age, they lose their sexual appeal much faster than men lose their status and resources, and some alarming evidence even indicates that wives rather quickly lose their desire for sex (Arndt 2009). To sustain a marriage across multiple decades, many husbands must accommodate to the reality of having to contribute work and other resources to a wife whose contribution of sex dwindles sharply in both quantity and quality—and who also may disapprove sharply of him seeking satisfaction in alternative outlets such as prostitution, pornography, and extramarital dalliance.

Baumeister is a serious realtalker.

We speculate that today’s young men may be exceptionally ill prepared for a lifetime of sexual starvation that is the lot of many modern husbands. The traditional view that a wife should sexually satisfy her husband regardless of her own lack of desire has been eroded if not demolished by feminist ideology that has encouraged wives to expect husbands to wait patiently until the wife actually desires sex, with the result that marriage is a prolonged episode of sexual starvation for the husband. […] Today’s young men spend their young adulthood having abundant sex with multiple partners, and that seems to us to be an exceptionally poor preparation for a lifetime of sexual starvation.

Game can save marriages from the fate of sexual starvation. At least until the wifey is no longer attractive enough to stimulate the hubby. Ah well, waddayagonnado?

Although we have noted warning signs and problems, we remain optimistic. [ed: i don’t.] Despite the obstacles and changing contingencies, men and women have always managed to find each other and work together to create a modicum of happiness for both and to create a sphere in which children can grow, thrive, and sustain the culture for another few decades. [ed: yes, men and women will always find each other. the question is, what form will that finding take? that is the issue which matters for those who seek to maximize the social good.] The coming generation will face novel challenges, but somehow we think they will muddle through and manage to reinvent family life yet again. [ed: sometimes the reinvention is not as good as the original.]

All in all, a stellar paper that lays down the hammer of hurt on the pushers of pretty lies. For this reason, I expect the liars and degenerates and serpentine sophists currently running the country into the ground to thoroughly ignore and/or distort it.

My main objections to the paper center around the fact that Baumeister/Vohs don’t explore female hypergamy and alpha male/beta male distinction in much detail, which is a shortcoming I hope the both of them will address in the future. Nonetheless, their work is essentially a huge vindication of the concepts that the proprietors at Chateau Heartiste have been elucidating since the first day this blog drove a stake through the heart of the reigning discourse and claimed a piece of this decaying culture for itself. And someday, perhaps soon, a real rain will come and wash all the lies off the streets.

THIS IS YOUR LIFE

Common American Man, this is how your life will unfold. You will start with dreams, big dreams. You will believe you are ordained for exceptionalism. You will reluctantly abandon your dreams as the years pass and reality inexorably descends upon you like a choking shroud of grit. That reality looks like this –

You will get older, uglier, and fatter with each year. Soon you will notice young women no longer take your flirtations seriously. Your sloth and social detachment will worsen until people don’t even bother to be polite around you. You will gradually lower your standards in what you want in a girl until desperation pushes you to marry a dumpy oinker well past her prime. You will rut with her once a week, then once a month, then holidays only. You will relieve yourself drearily masturbating in the middle of the night by the cold flickering light of your computer monitor while that bloated seacow who doesn’t give a shit for your desires snores in the bed you can no longer get a good night’s sleep in. Your one shred of solace will come from knowing your depreciating asset (AKA wife) will have as few options as you do virtually guaranteeing lifelong fidelity. Eventually you will have a couple of ungrateful snotty kids and your free time and discretionary cash will be completely obliterated. You will squander whatever morsels of opportunity come your way as you settle into an achingly dull job paying the median wage dutifully punching the clock as a faceless cog in the corporate machine greasing the soul-soaked gears of the global marketplace with your bitter bloody tears. You will silently mourn your impotent, shriveled manhood as the established order extracts the last penny of tribute from your broken spirit. You will numb the pain with alcohol, untold hours vegging in front of the TV, and leveling your character in World of Warcraft. Hours, days, months, years will slip away. Then, one lonely quiet cloudy day sitting in your well-worn easy chair, you’ll contemplate the arc of your life. And you’ll feel the gnawing grip of emptiness as the crushing weight of what a barren nothingness your existence proved to be presses down on you. Barely comprehending, you’ll shudder. And then, finally, the Grim Reaper will steal your last breath and you will disappear from the world as if you had never been here and when they bury you no one will really notice and no one will really care because in your whole life you never never never, not even once, stepped off the hamster wheel and did anything courageous or interesting or different.

And it will be too late when you realize that the chains clasped to your ankles and wrists were unlocked all along and you were always free to go.

~Fin~

ARNIE

Lex was a ruggedly handsome man, mid-40s, and in shape from near daily yoga and martial arts classes. He was fidgety and frenetically hyperverbal and rarely came up for breath once he got rolling on a story drawn from his illustrious past and present lifestyle. And what stories! He ran a business in the recreation industry which put him in contact with a steady stream of young European girls. This contact often led to intimacy. Many patrons of his business would regale you with tales of witnessing Lex whisk some new 22 year old Polish hottie back to his quarters for a night of debauchery, only to do it again the next night with a new girl.

The four of us sat around the restaurant table swapping war stories from the field. Lex’s tomcat career was long and fruitful, but an undercurrent of melancholic nostalgia buttressed the impression that he had let one or two “quality girls” get away. He seemed, in a way, a traitor to his contentment — a victim of chance and his compulsions. Lex made a passing comment, barely noticed in the cavalcade of sex stories if you weren’t paying attention, that “it was getting harder out there” and he needed to adjust accordingly.

Zeets admired the unapologetically masculine lifestyle Lex chose for himself. Marriage, kids, social approval, clock punching and clock ticking? Fuck that noise. Lex lived on his own terms, in hock to no one but himself. Zeets playfully encouraged Lex’s telling of his numerous conquests and the game he runs on women in the big city. Lex was especially fond of “fruit stand game” where he would casually sidle up to a girl (Lex banged chicks of all ages, as long as they were younger than him) and guess what meal she was going to cook judging by the veggies she had in her basket. Since Lex was a competent cook, this banter would often segue into him inviting her over for dinner.

Trent, the fourth and youngest man at the table, also approved of Lex’s playboy adventures, but his approval carried more weight. Trent was a one woman kind of guy, always strapped into a long term relationship that lasted for years and eager to get back into one on the rare occasions he was single. Trent was no herb; he had the tools and the skill to seduce many women if he wanted, so his relatively monogamous existence was all the more intriguing.

Outside of the restaurant we parted, and Lex declined our offer to go to the bar for drinks and carousing. He was on his way back home to make a thousand calls. Lex could hardly focus on anything for long — his ADHD was legendary — and he barely stopped moving as we bro-slapped hands goodbye.

Around 1AM back at Trent’s apartment, as we were about to step inside, an older man, late 40s or early 50s, with a paunch and one shirttail of his light blue button down poking out of his jeans, greeted us with a weary but friendly expression. He introduced himself as Arnie and said he had been Trent’s neighbor for five years. Trent nodded his head knowingly as if he recognized Arnie, but later told us in private he had never seen the guy. He probably had, but it didn’t register.

Arnie was an affable bloke, and we stood outside in the mild air leaning against stair railings under the diffuse glow of the city lights for fifteen minutes talking guy stuff. We learned Arnie was never married, lived alone, and worked in a blue collar hands-on job, and that it was clear to me that he possessed the basic intelligence to work white collar if he so chose. He had lived in the city his whole life and his apartment was rent controlled. There was no chance he would leave, despite the landlord working hard to force out his tenants by passively ignoring repairs that needed to be done.

Arnie relished our company, that much I could tell. He asked us if we were planning to go out somewhere again that night. Trent mentioned the bar where he bartended and Arnie made a frown, explaining that that bar was too “hoity-toity” for him; he preferred down to earth establishments hanging “with the boys”. We laughed, because Trent’s bar is not really snobby, especially not for this city. We began turning our heads and shoulders toward the door and told Arnie we were going to call it a night. Arnie looked disappointed. “Well, another time, then.” He nodded at Trent. “Maybe I’ll meet you over at your bar sometime.” There was a hint of overeagerness in his gravelly voice.

As we stepped inside to leave Arnie behind in the streetlight-misted night, the door swung behind us with a slow creak. When it thumped closed, it echoed heavily in my ears.

MEN WITH OPTIONS

How many women do men really want to fuck? The answer, if surveys are to be believed, is a bit less than infinity. Scientists are baffled. A reader writes:

I’ve said on your blog that I consider you a bit of an outlier, someone who places much more importance on sex than the average man. I thought I should bring some data to back that up. The average man seems to only want about 6 lifetime partners. And gay men, who presumably can get as much sex as they want don’t all go hog wild. If we judge by the gey only about 32% have more than 10 partners, while only about 18% had more than 20. Perhaps numbers would be higher without AIDS, but blowjobs (raw) and sex with condoms are both pretty safe, even for gays, so I’m not sure how much to count that. However, even with AIDS, 18% is nothing to sneeze at so you’re not that much of an outlier. As for myself, I too sympathize at least somewhat, in theory, with the guys who want to rack up large numbers. But I try not to judge other people’s sexual proclivities by my own.

None of this contradicts the finding that men are considerably more promiscuous by inclination than women. It just means they aren’t outrageously more promiscuous by inclination.

Ah, self-reported data. Of sexual desire. The least trustworthy data there perhaps exists. As I’ve noted before, people are never more apt to lie than when they are being asked about their sexual habits, or about their sexual desires. The hamster is a rationalization machine first and foremost for sugar-coating lust, the most primeval of the primeval emotional juggernauts that silently yet relentlessly infuses and guides our every thought and action.

But that aside, I actually don’t have much beef with what this self-reported survey data says. I’m not at all surprised that men, when asked how many women they would want to sleep with in the next months or years, would choose a number not fantastically higher than that chosen by women. The hamster resides in male brains as well, (though it is a far less sturdy specimen than that found spinning in female brains), and will happily spit out “acceptable” answers that adhere to social expectations for virtuous behavior. Sometimes these acceptable answers are completely unintentional, and reflect less a hypocritical posturing to conform to cultural pressures than an ego-assuaging, knee-jerk bromide to buttress one’s self-conception.

But reality has a way of intruding on happy thoughts. If a researcher had asked me at age 18 how many women I would want to sleep with in the year ahead, I might have offered, with some haughty self-righteousness derived from precious feelings of romantic abandon and insta-pedestalization, one or two as my optimal number. Had that same researcher asked me, ten years later and post red-pill (as the scallawags would say), how many women I had slept with in the previous year, the number would have been considerably higher than the one I suggested was optimal before a pussy potpourri of options opened themselves to me.

To put it more simply, most men are not going to admit, to themselves or others, that they want to fuck hundreds of women. Or, more precisely, they aren’t going to admit that they would be interested in fucking hundreds of women if the option to do so were readily and uncomplicatedly available to them. Men and women both don’t really like to think of themselves as sex fiends.

And this goes as well for gay men, who, though they have less formidable obstacles to hurdle on the path to sexual release than do straight men, are still nonetheless straitjacketed by some unforgivable rules of the sexual marketplace, such as the fact that ugly gay men are not going to have the same number of opportunities for amassing partner counts as that afforded to handsomer gay men; and of those opportunities the less favorably endowed do have, the urge to capitalize will be much enervated.

And therein lies the crux of skepticism I hold about these sorts of “hey, tell me about your sex life and most secret fantasies!” self-reporting surveys: they aren’t telling me what men, or women, would do IN REAL LIFE if they had no restrictions on their buffet of mate choice. They are only telling me what numerically-bounded desires men and women — most of them by nature enduring severe restrictions on their sexual or romantic opportunities — are acclimatized by circumstance and lifelong experience to expect, and thus to valorize, for themselves.

To find out what men would avail themselves of in real life, we have to examine what kinds of partner counts real men with virtually UNLIMITED OPTIONS acquire. For that, we need to find those men who live with few, if any, constraints on their ability to fulfill their desires.

Men with few restrictions on satisfying their carnal cravings are men with options. By restrictions, I mean anything that could act as a force against the full realization of one’s desires. If most women don’t find you desirable, then you are working with limited options, and this is true no matter how much you tell yourself or others that your small sample platter is just the right amount to slake your desire. If women find you desirable, but social expectation or political calculus discourage your follow-through, then you are working with limited options.

For these reasons, some very alpha men who could theoretically clean up with women don’t make the UNLIMITED OPTIONS MAN cut. A married CEO who could conceivably entertain a harem of adoring lovers is limited by his wife, children and close acquaintances to behave according to certain norms that preclude harem-building. The President of the United States, a super alpha by dint of his station alone, would suffer tremendous blowback from the consequences of sleeping with even a tiny fraction of his admiring thong-y throngs.

No, the men of our modern society who are free in the best sense of the word… the men who have limitless options with women… are unmarried rock stars and famous actors. There are others, but these two groups best exemplify the unchained man. What kind of man has the lustful fervor of millions of women directed at him, and who would not suffer much of any consequences in his personal or career life from indulging in his bounty?

Well, George Clooney comes to mind. Here’s a guy whom women love, and who would not jeopardize his career or social status by sleeping with the maximum number of lovers his heart (and groin) can accommodate. And how may women does such a man with nearly unlimited options accumulate over a lifetime?

A lot. And these are just the women the media know about. Or the women Clooney wants the media to know about. The true number is likely in the hundreds, maybe thousands if we count one night stands and short flings.

PUAs also make the list of men enjoying veritable limitless options. The haters will slip into hate overdrive upon hearing this, but skilled womanizers, as many PUAs are, luxuriate in the attentions of many women, and don’t pay a price for satisfying their desire. The successful PUA does not have a wife or family to protect from his predations, nor does he have a political career that would crumble from public airing of his dalliances. He is, in contrast to the mass of mediocrities railing against his lifestyle, a free man able to meet his own needs, in whatever capacity he deems satisfactory.

This is not to say that men don’t desire long-term relationships with women, or to say that men would not be happy banging fewer than one hundred or more women in the course of their lifetimes. It is simply a perspicacious reminder that, as with women, what men may claim about their ideal number of lovers is often less a true measure of their visceral desire than it is a mental palimpsest revealing underneath the restricted range of limited options within which they necessarily resign themselves.

To quote by way of illustration a billion ugly, obese feminists with severely curtailed options in the dating market:

“I don’t NEED a man!”

My take on this matter, sociological stabs at the truth notwithstanding to the contrary, is that most men are inclined to periods of “settling down” monogamously with a woman of outstanding quality, but that most men would also rack up considerable numbers of lovers between and during their monogamous downtimes if there were no consequences to suffer and they had the option to acquire those lovers relatively effortlessly and expediently.

Since most men labor with a limited menu of options, what we see transpiring in the real world are the top 10-20% of free men acting in accord with the rhythms of their primitive compulsions, and a horde of less-free men learning to love their meager choices.

You want to be a man with options.

The option to love recklessly, or love faithfully.

The option to marry, or to sow your oats as an eternal bachelor.

The option to have kids, and to be assured of your paternity.

The option to date monogamously, or to date profligately.

The option to stay, or to leave. On your terms.

The option to give ultimatums, and to ignore ultimatums.

The option to screw around, or to start a family.

The option to do what you want, when you want it, and to do what others want, when you want it.

This year is the Year of Men With Options. There has never been a time more suited to teach men the art of options than right now, when options everywhere for men seem to be shrinking.

This dwelling of ideas will be your guide.

WHAT DO WOMEN WANT? A MASTER

A reader asked if there were any books I could recommend that explored the psychology of women. I suggested “Story of O” and “9 1/2 Weeks”. (The latter was originally a book which is much better than the movie version.)

There is a maxim among the pick-up community that if you want to know what women want it’s better to watch what they do than listen to what they say. Very true. However, if you are going to listen to what a woman says for clues about her innermost desires, or read what she writes, you would do well to pay attention to what a woman says TURNS HER ON. Not what she says she wants in a hypothetical husband or boyfriend but what she specifically describes that got her horny and hungry for loving penetration. Any editorial commentary about the ideal man can be safely ignored.

The two books above, both written by women and featuring very beautiful female protagonists, are wide-open windows to the id of women’s sexual natures. What we find there is shocking to most, dispiriting to some, and unsurprising to a few. Women reading these books will, despite themselves, become uncomfortably aroused. Men will discover ancient stirrings within themselves they may have thought civilization and a PC academic indoctrination stamped out.

The beatings and brandings the women in the books suffer, provoke, and then eagerly anticipate in turn are distractions from the main message, which is that the self-confidence and exquisitely suffocating domination of the male characters caused the women to fall so helplessly in love with them that the men could do anything, make any demand, and the women would happily go along just to keep their love. Some men can handle this awesome power, some can’t. The man in 9 1/2 Weeks was consumed by his power as much as his lover, and it got the better of him.

These books, taken together with the real world observations of men who actually live lives like those of the men in the books, tell us what women want.

They want a man who takes charge.

A master.

Adopt the attitude of the master, and women will revert to their naturally submissive essence faster and more profoundly than you can scarcely imagine, and no amount of feminist propaganda, insulating credentials, or careerist ladder climbing will stand in the way of their joyous, even relieving, surrender to your intoxicating dominance and confidence.

THE IDEAL LOVER CAN NEVER BE THE GREAT BOYFRIEND

Men are burdened with a duality. We feel impelled to commit to a chaste woman but we will happily sleep around with raging sluts. Women, too, are creatures of duality. They relish the emotional connection with the great boyfriend who dotes on them and pampers them but they succumb helplessly to their raw sexuality with the ideal lover. The god of biomechanics is, if nothing else, a practical joker.

There are very few men who embody both the great boyfriend and the ideal lover in equal measure. In fact, my experience in the trenches of modern decadence leads me to conclude there are NO men like this. 50/50 internal power sharing between lover and supporter, manifestly expressed in perfect synchronicity with a woman’s unspoken needs for the one or the other masculine archetype, is the myth of “the One” perpetuated by the feminist grievance industry to keep women unsatisfied and constantly searching. The truth is that most men, by innate character, lean one way, and a few men of purity wholly abandon their soul’s struggle and jettison one archetype to fully embrace its opposite.

How do you know if you are closer in character to the ideal lover or to the great boyfriend? To answer this for yourself, consider the following scenarios, and then decide if they accurately describe how you would behave in your own life.

Holiday shopping (Kwanzaa not included)

The great boyfriend thinks of the gifts he will buy others before he thinks of himself. His time shopping is spent with a gentle smile envisioning the look on his lover’s face when she sees what he bought for her.

The ideal lover thinks of all the fantastic shit he will buy for himself before he thinks of others. His time shopping is spent with a joyous grin perusing the electronics section, and only after he has sat in the massage chair at Brookstones for a while does he put in a token effort to find reasonably acceptable gifts for his girlfriend.

Family

The great boyfriend showers affection on his family. He is especially affectionate with little nieces and nephews.

The ideal lover is either fighting or drinking with his family. He is the first to teach his little nephew how to flip the bird and what it means.

Sex

The great boyfriend is a master of foreplay and delaying his own gratification. He is a slow and steady lovemaker. The look of surrender on his woman’s face during orgasm brings him almost as much pleasure as his own climax. Sex is often preceded by the lighting of scented candles and the playing of soft jazz.

The ideal lover is selfish in bed. He may eat his woman out for an eternity one night while hurting her anally another night, slowly grind into her missionary style or jackhammer her like a rutting cape buffalo, but always know that everything he does sexually to her is in service to his penis. He will often not know nor care if she came, and what usually precedes sex is a rough hand up her skirt.

Compassion

The great boyfriend will listen intently when his girl has had a bad day, careful not to brusquely offer any pointed suggestions to alleviate her sadness, instead opting to massage her shoulders and make her some soup.

The ideal lover will attempt to take his girl’s mind off her worries with hot sex. It will usually work.

Values

The great boyfriend appreciates his girlfriend’s values, and this is reflected in his mature respect for her political views, even when he disagrees.

The ideal lover only cares for one value — his lover’s commitment to the righteousness of sexual abandon. He’s apolitical as far as she knows, because he’s very good at mentally dismissing her silly political beliefs as the earnest naivete of an unworldly little girl.

Compatibility

The great boyfriend understands that much of what makes a relationship successful are shared goals and interests. He loves spending time with his lover doing things they both enjoy, and he will put in the extra effort to learn about those things she likes to do but which he is either unfamiliar or uninterested. For instance, if she likes tango dancing but he’d rather play pool, he’ll spend a night or two attending tango classes with her and making her feel worth his sacrifice.

The ideal lover understands that what makes a relationship successful is not spending too much time together. Quality over quantity, and in his world the best measure of quality is how often intercourse is happening. He will occasionally treat his lover to romantic nights out, but when she wants him to join her on her trip to Antarctica he’ll stroke her cheek lovingly and tell her to have a good time by herself.

These examples should give you an idea where on the testicular spectrum you fall. Are you a Latin lover or a loving partner? Like I said, most men lean one way or the other, a few embrace an extreme, and only Master Casanovas balance their dual essence so evenly that their women are always breathlessly infatuated with them.

The men who have complete command over their women are the men who intuitively know when to disarm with the tender ministrations of the great boyfriend or the lustful recklessness of the ideal lover. When you are aware of this ever present immutable female desire for dualing male archetypes, you will find it that much easier to direct a woman’s emotions, like Mozart conducting a symphony. A woman’s loyalty is as much a function of your ability to seduce it out of her as it is of her character.

THE SIXTEEN COMMANDMENTS OF POON

I. Never say ‘I Love You’ first

Women want to feel like they have to overcome obstacles to win a man’s heart. They crave the challenge of capturing the interest of a man who has other women competing for his attention, and eventually prevailing over his grudging reluctance to award his committed exclusivity. The man who gives his emotional world away too easily robs women of the satisfaction of earning his love. Though you may be in love with her, don’t say it before she has said it. Show compassionate restraint for her need to struggle toward yin fulfillment. Inspire her to take the leap for you, and she’ll return the favor a thousandfold.

II. Make her jealous

Flirt with other women in front of her. Do not dissuade other women from flirting with you. Women will never admit this but jealousy excites them. The thought of you turning on another woman will arouse her sexually. No girl wants a man that no other woman wants. The partner who harnesses the gale storm of jealousy controls the direction of the relationship.

III. You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority

Forget all those romantic cliches of the leading man proclaiming his undying love for the woman who completes him. Despite whatever protestations to the contrary, women do not want to be “The One” or the center of a man’s existence. They in fact want to subordinate themselves to a worthy man’s life purpose, to help him achieve that purpose with their feminine support, and to follow the path he lays out. You must respect a woman’s integrity and not lie to her that she is “your everything”. She is not your everything, and if she is, she will soon not be anymore.

IV. Don’t play by her rules

If you allow a woman to make the rules she will resent you with a seething contempt even a rapist cannot inspire. The strongest woman and the most strident feminist wants to be led by, and to submit to, a more powerful man. Polarity is the core of a healthy loving relationship. She does not want the prerogative to walk all over you with her capricious demands and mercurial moods. Her emotions are a hurricane, her soul a saboteur. Think of yourself as a bulwark against her tempest. When she grasps for a pillar to steady herself against the whipping winds or yearns for an authority figure to foil her worst instincts, it is you who has to be there… strong, solid, unshakeable and immovable.

V. Adhere to the golden ratio

Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you. For every three calls or texts, give her two back. Three declarations of love earn two in return. Three gifts; two nights out. Give her two displays of affection and stop until she has answered with three more. When she speaks, you reply with fewer words. When she emotes, you emote less. The idea behind the golden ratio is twofold — it establishes your greater value by making her chase you, and it demonstrates that you have the self-restraint to avoid getting swept up in her personal dramas. Refraining from reciprocating everything she does for you in equal measure instills in her the proper attitude of belief in your higher status. In her deepest loins it is what she truly wants.

VI. Keep her guessing

True to their inscrutable natures, women ask questions they don’t really want direct answers to. Woe be the man who plays it straight — his fate is the suffering of the beta. Evade, tease, obfuscate. She thrives when she has to imagine what you’re thinking about her, and withers when she knows exactly how you feel. A woman may want financial and family security, but she does not want passion security. In the same manner, when she has displeased you, punish swiftly, but when she has done you right, reward slowly. Reward her good behavior intermittently and unpredictably and she will never tire of working hard to please you.

VII. Always keep two in the kitty

Never allow yourself to be a “kept man”. A man with options is a man without need. It builds confidence and encourages boldness with women if there is another woman, a safety net, to catch you in case you slip and risk a breakup, divorce, or a lost prospect, leading to loneliness and a grinding dry spell. A woman knows once she has slept with a man she has abdicated a measure of her power; when she has fallen in love with him she has surrendered nearly all of it. But love is ephemeral and with time she may rediscover her power and threaten to leave you. It is her final trump card. Withdrawing all her love and all her body in an instant will rend your soul if you are faced with contemplating the empty abyss alone. Knowing there is another you can turn to for affection will fortify your will and satisfy your manhood.

VIII. Say you’re sorry only when absolutely necessary

Do not say you’re sorry for every wrong thing you do. It is a posture of submission that no man should reflexively adopt, no matter how alpha he is. Apologizing increases the demand for more apologies. She will come to expect your contrition, like a cat expects its meal at a set time each day. And then your value will lower in her eyes. Instead, if you have done something wrong, you should acknowledge your guilt in a glancing way without resorting to the actual words “I’m sorry.” Pull the Bill Clinton maneuver and say “Mistakes were made” or tell her you “feel bad” about what you did. You are granted two freebie “I’m sorry”s for the life of your relationship; use them wisely.

IX. Connect with her emotions

Set yourself apart from other men and connect with a woman’s emotional landscape. Her mind is an alien world that requires deft navigation to reach your rendezvous. Frolic in the surf of emotions rather than the arid desert of logic. Be playful. Employ all your senses. Describe in lush detail scenarios to set her heart afire. Give your feelings freedom to roam. ROAM. Yes, that is a good word. You’re not on a linear path with her. You are ROAMING all over, taking her on an adventure. In this world, there is no need to finish thoughts or draw conclusions. There is only need to EXPERIENCE. You’re grabbing her hand and running with her down an infinite, labyrinthine alleyway with no end, laughing and letting your fingers glide on the cobblestone walls along the way.

X. Ignore her beauty

The man who trains his mind to subdue the reward centers of his brain when reflecting upon a beautiful female face will magically transform his interactions with women. His apprehension and self-consciousness will melt away, paving the path for more honest and self-possessed interactions with the objects of his desire. This is one reason why the greatest lotharios drown in more love than they can handle — through positive experiences with so many beautiful women they lose their awe of beauty and, in turn, their powerlessness under its spell. It will help you acquire the right frame of mind to stop using the words hot, cute, gorgeous, or beautiful to describe girls who turn you on. Instead, say to yourself “she’s interesting” or “she might be worth getting to know”. Never compliment a girl on her looks, especially not a girl you aren’t fucking. Turn off that part of your brain that wants to put them on pedestals. Further advanced training to reach this state of unawed Zen transcendence is to sleep with many MANY attractive women (try to avoid sleeping with a lot of ugly women if you don’t want to regress). Soon, a Jedi lover you will be.

XI. Be irrationally self-confident

No matter what your station in life, stride through the world without apology or excuse. It does not matter if objectively you are not the best man a woman can get; what matters is that you think and act like you are. Women have a dog’s instinct for uncovering weakness in men; don’t make it easy for them. Self-confidence, warranted or not, triggers submissive emotional responses in women. Irrational self-confidence will get you more pussy than rational defeatism.

XII. Maximize your strengths, minimize your weaknesses

In the betterment of ourselves as men we attract women into our orbit. To accomplish this gravitational pull as painlessly and efficiently as possible, you must identify your natural talents and shortcomings and parcel your efforts accordingly. If you are a gifted jokester, don’t waste time and energy trying to raise your status in philosophical debate. If you write well but dance poorly, don’t kill yourself trying to expand your manly influence on the dancefloor. Your goal should be to attract women effortlessly, so play to your strengths no matter what they are; there is a groupie for every male endeavor. Except World of Warcraft.

XIII. Err on the side of too much boldness, rather than too little

Touching a woman inappropriately on the first date will get you further with her than not touching her at all. Don’t let a woman’s faux indignation at your boldness sway you; they secretly love it when a man aggressively pursues what he wants and makes his sexual intentions known. You don’t have to be an asshole, but if you have no choice, being an inconsiderate asshole beats being a polite beta, every time.

XIV. Fuck her good

Fuck her like it’s your last fuck. And hers. Fuck her so good, so hard, so wantonly, so profligately that she is left a quivering, sparking mass of shaking flesh and sex fluids. Drain her of everything, then drain her some more. Kiss her all over, make love to her all night, and hold her close in the morning. Own her body, own her gratitude, own her love. If you don’t know how, learn to give her squirting orgasms.

XV. Maintain your state control

You are an oak tree. You will not be manipulated by crying, yelling, lying, head games, sexual withdrawal, jealousy ploys, pity plays, shit tests, hot/cold/hot/cold, disappearing acts, or guilt trips. She will rain and thunder all around you and you will shelter her until her storm passes. She will not drag you into her chaos or uproot you. When you have mastery over yourself, you will have mastery over her.

XVI. Never be afraid to lose her

You must not fear. Fear is the love-killer. Fear is the ego-triumph that brings abject loneliness. You will face your fear. You will permit it to pass over and through you. And when your ego-fear is gone you will turn and face your lover, and only your heart will remain. You will walk away from her when she has violated your integrity, and you will let her walk when her heart is closed to you. She who can destroy you, controls you. Don’t give her that power over yourself. Love yourself before you love her.

***

The closer you follow the letter of these commandments, the easier you will find and keep real, true unconditional love and happiness in your life.

Best,

Your Lord and King

THE FUNDAMENTALS

There is so much pickup information available now that it’s easy to lose sight of the fundamentals that govern sexual tension and attraction between men and women. When the information cascade overwhelms it begins to pull you away from what works, and what has always worked for you. Consequently, over-analysis can hinder your spiritual growth as a womanizer. That is why it is vital to step back every so often, ignore the steady stream of advice, and return to a few golden, immutable laws of attraction that will never go out of style.

The one fundamental to which I always return, and has never failed to reward me as expected, is this:

Women cannot resist the aloof and indifferent man.

Of all the compulsions hard-wired in a female’s hindbrain, this one is etched deeper and more enduringly. Every woman, to a greater or lesser degree, feels the burn of lust and the agony of love for a man who projects a “take it or leave it” attitude.

Note that aloof and indifferent doesn’t mean haughty, distant or uninterested. It means disinterested. It means that while you may love her and flatter her and soothe her and give her gifts, underlying it all is an attitude that tells her “I can walk if necessary, and find someone new.”

It may seem counterproductive for a woman to respond so favorably to a man exhibiting this attitude, but the evolution of human sociosexuality offers an explanation: an aloof man is indirectly advertising his skill at seducing women. Such a man will give a woman sons who will inherit his ladykiller genes. Conversely, a man who gloms onto a woman may as well be holding a placard that says “My celibacy is nigh!”. He has no confidence that should his girlfriend or wife misbehave, or leave him, he will be able to find another woman’s bosom for comfort.

And really, that’s what all this talk by women about valuing “confidence” in men means; what women are really saying is that they value men who could dump them on a whim and get with new women easily. Men who can do this are filled with the kind of confidence that turns women on.

The aloof and indifferent attitude can be expressed reactively or proactively, deliberately or passively. She senses it when other women flirt with you and you refuse to act ashamed for it. You don’t rub your desirability to competitor women in her face, but neither do you downplay it.

She senses it when she is the first to say “I love you”, after many months of eager — but ultimately unfulfilled — anticipation on her part for you to say it first.

She senses it when you occasionally pepper your relationship with unexplained absences.

She senses it when you hang out with guy friends who are known players.

She senses it when you drag your feet about going on expensive trips together.

She senses it when you are the first to hop out of bed after climax.

She senses it when your exes are always bumping into you.

She senses it when you announce that you don’t understand guys like her male friend who can only play video games when his girlfriend is not around to castigate him, and when you then proudly and defiantly proclaim you value your “freedom and independence” too much to be like that guy.

She senses it when a half-assed microwaved meal that you cooked for the both of you means more to her than a four course dinner slaved over for hours in the kitchen by a beta would mean to her.

She senses it when you set the bar so low, it becomes a challenge to disappoint her.

The fundamentals. Be aloof. Be indifferent. Be loving.

Do these three things and you will never be lacking for a woman’s eternally grateful love.

THE MOST FLATTERING WORDS YOU CAN HEAR FROM A WOMAN

Some of you naive souls may be thinking, “Oh, I know the answer! Me! Me! Look over here!…. ‘I love you’. Did I win?”

No, you did not. You LOSE, madam. You get NOTHING. Good day to you.

The answer is this: “How can you be such a jerk and so lovable at the same time?”

Gentlemen, if you hear that from a woman, particularly a girlfriend or wife, you will know you have penetrated her heart and mind to the soft, chewy center of her hamster’s id, which is one id level deeper than her own human id. You cannot possibly hear anything more flattering from a woman unless it’s a breathless demand to scour her cervical wall with your proud protuberance.

“How is being called a jerk more flattering than just being called lovable?”

Oh, you silly, anatomically ambiguous acculturated automaton. Don’t you know how to read girlcode? It’s like hieroglyphics, except less understandable to the average man. When a girl calls you a jerk, you have enflamed her vagina. When a girl calls you lovable, you have palpitated her heart. When a girl calls you a jerk AND lovable, you have made a slave of her. Recline in the pillow-soft comfort of your testicular allure, because from that point forward you can do no wrong.

LOVE

No one goes on vacation thinking of the long ride home.

What is unique about love is that it alone among all the human desires defines by its absence the utterly meaningless life. With love, the poor person can feel rich as if the struggles of his survival were minor inconveniences. With love, the old person forgets his age. With love, the young person sheds his angst. A man can amass a kingdom’s fortune and an emperor’s power but without love his worldly successes stand like hollow totems to unhappiness. What good is anything if it doesn’t ultimately reach a conclusion in love? The wealthy businessman who spends all his hours in his office and wastes his years whistling past the grave being too busy for love is a loser no less than the unloved degenerate street bum. Sushi tastes better than a 20 dollar bill.

The mischievous thing about love is that as vital as it is to a fulfilling stint in consciousness, it mocks its own importance with reminders that it rests precariously on a foundation of some very banal preconditions. People fall out of love and it is rarely for lofty reasons. A man loves a woman until she gains 50 pounds. A woman loves a man until he loses his job and goes unemployed for months on end. And when that pretty face turns ashen and carved with the years will it really be love anymore? Those crass attraction buttons still have to be pressed for love to appear and then to sustain itself. Self-delusion about the dirty business behind love is not only required, it’s inevitable. Why ruin the fun by obsessing over the dull ride home?

A lot of seducers mistakenly think that love is a garnish to the main course of pursuing and winning the hearts of women. They compartmentalize — it’s a bonus to feel love, but damned if they’ll let that get in the way of the good times. The worst thing to happen to a guy who gets ass regularly is not rejection (after all, rejection is the badge of honor worn by womanizers) but falling in one-sided love. Or, similarly, falling in love only to have his woman dump him. Getting dumped is part of the game, and can be expertly handled, especially if there are fallback options. But the alpha who succumbs to the folly of love opens himself up so completely that state control is no longer his prerogative. He risks everything, including his most cherished asset… his trust.

This is the wrong way of approaching relationships. It’s fine to be calculating about the pick up, and the dating, and even the relationship management, but attempting to corral as thermonuclear an emotion as love is only going to light the fuse on the bomb. I’ve seen many players sabotage their relationships with really great girls who had captured their hearts because they feared losing control under the chaos of being in love. They put all this effort into bedding her and making her fall for them that they lost sight of the main objective. A man can be all alpha but if he doesn’t cash it in for the ultimate prize he’s revealed the beta at his core.

I once lost a girl I loved. The rush of pain was so intense even a fight club pummeling couldn’t have distracted me from it. But I didn’t stoically shrug it off. I threw glasses at the wall. I broke things. I smashed up my apartment.

If you aren’t smashing stuff after losing a lover you don’t know the pleasure of relinquishing everything for love.

2 CHICKS: THEIR WAYS AND WORKINGS

WHERE GUYS FALTER

The best way to do well with women over the long haul is to think like them, understand them, and put yourself in their shoes. The man who can empathize with a woman’s frustrations will know better how to make her happy. All the great seducers of history co-opted to some degree the psychology and the courting tactics of women. They used women’s pyschological weapons against them.

This is why European men have a reputation for smoothness with the ladies — they spend more time than American men in the company of women, participating in activities and intellectual pursuits that appeal to women, learning about them. American men bemoan their dating hardships, but spending all their free time watching sports, drinking beer, video gaming, and golfing, where no women are present, only to take a flailing Saturday night stab at getting laid in overheated bar environments, is not a good way to learn how to turn women on.

The inexperience of many guys around women shows in their ham-fisted come-ons. They often act so counter-productively that it’s a wonder any girls give it up to them at all. Verbally gang tackling a group of girls at a bar is one example. Which guy, in a moment of reflection, really believes that approaching two girls with five of his buddies in phalanx formation and swarming them like vultures over a carcass will win their affections? Guys who don’t have the sack to approach women on their own should not advertise their weakness by storming in with a giant cock posse for battlefield support. Two guys maximum. If necessary, hold off on waving the rest of the crew in until after the set has been warmed up in a non-threatening way.

Guys also do not listen. Well, not in the way that women want to be listened to. A guy should listen to a woman with the same intensity he listens to his buddies talk about football or German hookers. The focus that a nerd brings to tackling a coding problem is the same focus that a guy should have when listening to an attractive woman speak. The trick is to do it with the distracted aloofness of someone not hanging on her every word. It’s very alluring to a girl when a guy off-handedly recalls some inconspicuous detail he picked up about her while she was talking without looking like he worked hard to remember it. It subconsciously says to her “This guy is not desperate, but wow I must be making an impression because he remembers how I felt when I danced at my sister’s wedding. We connect!”

This isn’t meant as mealy-mouthed John Gray relationship pap; listening intently to a woman will give him all the information he needs to successfully seduce her. Women reveal so much about themselves in conversation — they can’t help it because they are self-obsessed creatures by nature — but they only do it in subtle read-between-the-lines ways, feminine ways, that to the uninitiated man will pass right under his radar. It’s a double curse that boobs and pretty eyes cloud his efforts to stay engaged with her words.

To seduce women, you must seduce yourself first. You are the guy who will be everything she needs. How will you know what she needs? Get inside her head. Become her.

AWAY FROM THE COMPANY OF WOMEN

I am never in the company of men after 5.

– Bertrand Morane

After sex, the company of women can be a drag.

– Me

I spend a lot of time with women. Either seducing them, fucking them, fucking with them, listening to them, scratching the napes of their necks, or examining them like a disassembled timepiece. The purpose of such mingling goes deeper than enjoying the pleasure of their company. Books, mentors, a willingness to discard delusion and lies, and a keen eye will aid a man in his divine quest to acquire as much sex and love as he can handle from beautiful women, but no impetus to personal growth is as effective as direct interaction with the subject. Whether sex is or is not the goal, being around women sharply flattens the learning curve. There may be a gene yet discovered which grants its possessor the innate ability to know how a woman ticks, but if there is such a gene, it is a neural algorithm that quickly decays from disuse. Even the best naturals had to buck up and endure spend glorious time around women before their Asmodeus-blessed gifts could find full expression.

Given this reality, some men might make the understandable mistake that their every waking moment should be with women or, if no women are physically present, with women in their thoughts. This would be a false extrapolation. Like a diligent scientist deep in the bowels of his fluorescently dismal lab who has forgotten the feeling of the sun on his face, a man who spends all his free time with women risks degeneration of his masculine core. Inhalation of the estrogenic fumes of too much distaff attention and his spirit becomes arthritic, his testicular acuity blurs into maudlin mush. Perspective is lost.

Men would do well to occasionally distance themselves from women and their petty intrigues, and the best way to do this is not through solitude but in the company of other men, reveling in hearty chest thumps, metaphorical or real, and swearing bloodstirring oaths to doctrines good and great that elude the grasp of women stuck in the mud of their uninspiring, earthy practicality. And men, unlike women, are capable of their high drama without uttering a word.

Let me cut to the chase: Women are mostly boring. Even, maybe especially, the brightest and most overeducated among them can induce cataract-like glazing of the eyes if given enough comfort and a sympathetic ear to unleash the menstrual force of their vaggy stream of consciousness. Disconnected from their bodies and sexuality, their flirtations and flattery, and their charm and whimsy, women are incapable of seriously entertaining for any length of time greater than the duration from leer to spent urge any but the most desperately cloying of men. Sure there are exceptions — women of particularly engaging personalities and surprising fondness for the abstract — but these exceptions serve merely to remind a man of the depressing drabness of the mass of women with their meager, provincial concerns.

Don’t lose contact with the world of men. Their vigorous, purposeful company is a refreshing tonic to the pedestrian prattle, contrived machinations, and histrionic solipsism of women.

THE MOST MYSOGINISTIC BLOG POST ON THE INTERNET

If people are going to accuse you of misogyny, may as well enjoy the egotistic benefits of being a truth-telling misogynist.

***

Men move the discussion forward. Women swap recipes and beauty tips.

Men debate. Women wheedle.

Men confront. Women slander.

Men act. Women plot.

Men invent. Women benefit.

Men are passionate. Women are passion parasites.

Men cheat. Women betray.

Men withdraw. Women shit test.

Men kill. Women play let’s you and him fight.

Men are emotionally distant. Women are emotionally manipulative.

Men’s Achilles’ heel is pride. Women’s Achilles’ heel is vanity.

Men die younger. Women live slower.

Men think loftily. Women think grubbily.

Men are expendable. Women are perishable.

Men humiliate. Women shame.

Men bluster. Women preen.

Men break barriers. Women co-opt broken barriers.

Men design. Women utilize.

Men self-serve. Women self-delude.

Men fuck. Women barter.

Men are funny. Women are melodramatic.

Men look at the sun. Women look in the mirror.

Men sexualize. Women characterize.

Men eat. Women indulge.

Men aspire. Women inspire.

Men love freely. Women love desperately.

***

This post is bitch bait. It’s been booby-trapped. We’ll see who trips it.

WHY DO CONSERVATIVES SANCTIFY WOMEN

Reader LoboSolo sent me this article by conservative writer Paul Greenberg extolling the “innate superiority” of women.

I’ve never been much of a believer in historical theories about the Indispensable Man. There may be some examples — Washington, Lincoln, Moses — but they are few. But the indispensable woman, I believe in. Call it Greenberg’s Law: Women are the innately superior sex. My theory may not be backed by any scientific evidence, but it’s something every man has surely felt. At least if he’s got a lick of sense. […]

When it comes to great truths, each generation shouldn’t have to work them out by itself. They don’t have to be written down, any more than the English constitution is. Every boy soon learns that women seem to know intuitively what the weaker male sex may grasp only by effort and education. Which is why it requires marriage and family to civilize the male animal. He needs a woman’s tutelage.

Greenberg tells a story, among others, which purports to demonstrate unassailable female virtue:

Brighter boys learn the lesson of female superiority early; dimmer ones may never catch on. A story: It was homecoming weekend many years ago in Pine Bluff, Ark., and a clump of us stood on Main Street waiting for the black college’s high-stepping marching band to come striding by, drum major and majorettes and 76 trombones and all.

A venturesome little boy in the group stepped off the curb to look way up the street — where the little girl on the Sunbeam Bread sign, a local landmark, still swings endlessly to and fro. Way in the distance, the boy spotted the prancing majorettes throwing their batons high, higher, highest, catching them on the beat. “Wow!” he exclaimed, returning to report what he’d seen. His conclusion: “Girls have to know so many things!”

Lovely stories, Mr. Greenberg. Now let me tell you a story.

I’ve seen things you gullible chumps wouldn’t believe. Married women’s loins on fire off the rumpled sheets of my bed. A feminine Russian woman, her buttocks turned in my direction, sweetly asking me if I’d “like to do her in the ass” as her cell phone rings with the plaintive wail of her husband seeking her whereabouts. I’ve watched nipples harden in the dark near the cathedral gate, and behind the rectory doors. I’ve lain with the most virtuous women you could imagine — caring women who “have to know so many things” and who give dollars to homeless bums and who tear up during sad scenes in the movies — who freely allowed my member to violate them in every conceivable way in their husband’s and boyfriend’s beds, their writhing bodies, ecstatic moans, and gushing furrows testament to the lustful abandon with which they unshackled themselves of that other conservative virtue, fidelity. I once counseled the most darling woman — a young woman so exquisitely gentle and winsome I’d dare any man not to fall instantly for her — to stop her flowing tears for our doomed affair and, there on the sidewalk in midday, to return to her husband at her apartment which was two blocks down the street; the husband who, through years of his toil and love, put a roof over her underemployed head in one of the ritzier neighborhoods of the city. I have made love — God’s highest expression of devotion to His creation — with women in the company of small woodland creatures, scandalized roommates, and children who were, as best we dared, out of earshot of our erotic rustlings. I have witnessed women, caught in the snare of irrefutable evidence damning their supposed virtue, lie with the effortlessness of a soulless sociopath. In the moment of release, when we come closest to touching the Hand of God, I have been instructed by a wondrously virtuous woman to “rape her” and to “do it like you mean it”. Her screams of howling joy — pain or pleasure I could not tell — to this day echo in my memories. And, most enlightening of all, I have seen wives and girlfriends, their hearts once filled with seemingly endless and nourishing love, cruelly turn on their daft former lovers with a vengeance unmatched by even a wronged God. Such as the time a sizzlingly sexy brunette whose mouth I was gracing with the metaphorical appendage of God’s divine love answered a phone call, mid-oral delight, from her ex-fiancee (who it should be noted was recovering from a mental breakdown) to thank him for purchasing a $5,000 Tempur-Pedic mattress delivered to her apartment two weeks earlier. Her thank you’s sounded surprisingly sincere for a woman whose free hand was simultaneously cradling the fleshy pod holding the life-giving seed of another man.

All those moments will be lost in time, Mr. Greenberg, like tears in rain.

What is it with conservatives and their willful blindness to the true nature of women? Pedestalization of the Other (and its many permutations, c. F. “noble savage”, “gaiaism”, “diversity”, and “na’vi”) is a sickening act of self-abasement; a desperate denial that one could possibly be right when one has been so badly wronged, or that a wrongdoer could possibly be as bad as the facts attest. Perhaps those who engage in this sort of faith-based pedestalization of women are deathly afraid to confront the reality of female nature because it would impose on their tidy worldview. Perhaps they need a savior, in the form of women, like of god, to compartmentalize the darkness and symbolize something to aspire to. After all, if women are just as bad as men, where does that leave the sensitive man? Stuck now with double the responsibility to guard oneself against predation by both sexes, and to discard to the ash heap cherished notions of the fairer sex. Does this sound familiar? If you thought “beta”, you’d be right.

Where conservatives sanctify women, liberals demonize men. Not all conservatives and not all liberals, but enough of them that a valid generalization can be made. Whether sanctifying women or demonizing men, the end result is the same: laws, policies, and cultural beliefs that are anti-male, and which we in the West are soaking in today.

I believe the conservative’s and liberal’s instincts toward women can be explained by contrasting the peculiar life conditions of both:

Conservatives, having grown up in larger, more intact families than liberals, and being thus surrounded by more sisters, aunts, and female cousins on a daily basis, are loathe to imagine those female relatives could be the alpha cock-hungry animals inside that they really are. Liberals, meanwhile, hailing from broken homes and guided under the tutelage of man-hating single moms with a revolving bedroom door, find it easier to grasp the amoral nature of women.

Conservatives have less sexual experience with women than do liberals. I would not be surprised if it was discovered that liberal men lost their virginity at an earlier age than conservative men. Nothing teaches like experience.

Conservatives believe women are morally child-like compared to men, that women are the weaker sex, and so cannot be held accountable for their actions. Liberals, who see white male oppression behind every human group difference, are more likely to individualize a woman’s bad actions and politicize a man’s bad actions.

Conservatives are ashamed of their base desires. Thus, they recoil at the thought that the women they desire might share the same debased thoughts that they do. Liberals, by contrast, are proud of their base desires. And so they are more accepting of the knowledge that women are as depraved as men.

Religious conservatives fear sex for its power to distract from god. It is better for them that women are thought of as empty vessels incapable of making sex-based calculations in their decisions. Secular liberals love sex for its power to distract from considering the merits of any moral code. It is better for them that women are thought of as sex-possessed tankgrrls ready to rumble across the Vaginot Line of mind-body liberation.

Conservatives invest more in the idea of family than do liberals. A wanton woman is a grave threat to that idea, graver than even a wanton man, for reasons clearly elucidated by evolutionary biology. Ergo, women cannot possibly be as wanton as men.

Conservative women are busier being pregnant and/or fatter than liberal women, and are thus less frequently able to act wantonly. This may skew conservative men’s impressions of women to being something more positive than it really is.

Conservatives by temperament are drawn to the beautiful. Liberals by temperament are drawn to the degraded. Conservatives have trouble tainting with dark knowledge the beauty of a woman in her prime. Liberals relish the thought that a beautiful young woman would wallow in the mud just as enthusiastically as they do.

As a man who is drawn to both the beautiful and the degraded, my aim is to act as a bridge between conservative men and liberal men, holding the liberal’s hand tenderly to the conservative’s crotch. I shall bring understanding between the two mortal enemies, and together we shall march into the nearest bar, our minds fortified with the knowledge of women’s true natures and our hearts swollen with masculine conceit, and lay waste to that place, claiming battalions of pussy for our own. Without excuse, without apology. Without god, whether supernatural or political.

Women are vile creatures at heart, just as men are. An ugly truth, Mr. Greenberg, which even God can’t shield you from. Don’t let the batting eyelashes fool you.

HEADY PETTINESS

I was with a girl shopping for assorted consumerist baubles. Technically, she was shopping and I was providing color commentary. A man must learn to amuse himself to pull through these dreaded moments. In the middle of a well-delivered quip, I noticed from the most distant corner of my eye a familiar jeans-covered ass. I studied the ass for a bit and the flow of hair down the back and realized it was one of my exes. She turned around and confirmed for me it was her.

She didn’t see me. I watched her for a bit. The three years were not kind to her. Her body was still great but her face looked drawn, eyes sad, and was that an incipient turkey gullet? When I dated her she was a solid 8, and sexy as hell. Now? A 7. Barely. In just three years she dropped a full point. I wondered if she had gone through an emotionally draining divorce in the time since I’d known her. She was at the store alone on a day in which most women are shopping with their partners.

My time spent with her had been good. I held no ill will toward her. We departed not as exes, but as former lovers, blessedly free of bitterness or rancor. And yet, when I saw my ex there in the store, and mentally noted that the girl I was with was better looking than her, a sadistic urge to flaunt my latest lover and parade her past my ex like a trophy float overcame me. I maneuvered myself and my female company into visual range of my ex. I refrained from looking over. I wanted the bump in to feel natural. (Had my lover been less attractive than my ex, I would’ve hid behind the clothes racks and rushed us out of the store.)

As I maneuvered closer to my ex through the aisles of clothes and kitchenware, I placed my hands lovingly on various erogenous zones of my companion’s body. All while pretending not to notice my ex. I slid my hand down my lover’s back, played with her hair, and made sure to tell a joke so that she giggled girlishly within earshot of my ex. Unfortunately, my ex didn’t notice. Either she was captivated by the 40% sale on hand towels, or she was expertly avoiding acknowledging my presence. I doubted the latter, because usually even the best actresses cannot hold it together with zen-like calm and serenity when bumping into an ex who left such an indelible impression on them. They give away their true feelings with a nearly imperceptible quiver in the shoulders, or a nervous dart of the eyes.

Had she forgotten me? Not possible. We dated too many months, and I… did things… with her that assured a memorial to me would forever be etched in her brain, like a Vietnam Lovers Memorial of sex acts. Or maybe she didn’t recognize me? I *was* wearing a hat, crisply turned down along the front brim.

Nevertheless, no matter how much I maneuvered, I couldn’t needle my ex with my profound pettiness. She remained steadfastly unaware of my presence, flitting about the store like a hummingbird. What a wasted opportunity for a deliciously ego-massaging bump in.

I told my girl about my ex being alone in the store, and how I was trying to get the ex to see us. I also told her she was hotter than my ex. Instead of chastising me for my immaturity, her eyes lit up with conspiratorial glee and she offered a strategy.

“Ooh, I’m curious. Which one is she? Let’s walk by her and I’ll stick my ass out for you to smack. Yay!”

God bless women. Just when you are about to resign yourself to the thought that they are made of nothing but sugar and spice and everything nice, you are reminded of the arsenic laced within.

We left the store mission unaccomplished. I pondered for a second why I relished the thought of rubbing my happiness in the face of a sad, possibly single ex for whom I had nothing but warm feelings. I had released the id monster from its hindbrain depths, and danced a little jig with it.

I guess it just feels too good. And I’ve no doubt she would’ve done the same had the shoe been on the other foot. Any woman would’ve done the same. But don’t bother asking them. They’ll deny deny deny. They’ve got an image to burnish, you see.

Note: As with many of my posts, the chronology of this post has been altered to protect the innocent. Namely, me.

BETTER THAN AGAIN: THE FEMALE SECRET CODE DECODER DICTIONARY

A wealth of experience with women will clue a man into the dissonance between a woman’s words and actions, and gradually lead him to discover that the woman’s word is the exact inverse of what she wishes you to presuppose it is: not a verbal descriptive but rather a psychological misdirection to lull the unsuspecting, including herself, to cogitate on the opposite of what is, in fact, true. Resist the temptation to blame a woman for her subterfuge because, in another example of empirics catching up to folk wisdom, science is revealing that not even she is aware what currents ripple through her vagina.

On that prologue, here follows a handy dandy secret girl code decoder crib sheet. Though you have been weaned since toddlerhood, when your flaccid tot dong jutted out at a continual 90 degree angle to your raisins, to believe the last in each series is to be aspired to, the truth is that, if sexnlurv with the sexynlurvly hot babes is what you want, then you are far better off being deemed the opposite by the fairer sex.

douchey>>> nice guy

asshole >>> sweet

jerk >>> cute

bastard >>> good man

pig >>> gentleman

insane >>> dependable

jerk > sexy > hot > cute > sweet > creep > nice guy

creeper > creep > stalker > loser > nice guy

serial killer >>>>>>>>>>> nice guy

mass murderer >>>>>>>>>>>>>> nice guy

psychopathic hedge fund white collar criminal >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> (*phew*) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> nice guy

nice guy >pedophile (finally!)

he makes me cry >>>>>>>>> he’s always there for me

it’s so hard with him >>>>>>>>>>>> yeah, he’s a great guy

freak >>> attentive lover

cheating bastard >>> he treats me like a princess

you don’t see what i see in him >>> he’s the perfect man

wiseass >>> funny >>> clown >>> goofy >>> quirky >>> weird

mysterious >>> a good friend

exciting >>> easy to get along with

i don’t know how much more i can take with him >>> someday we’ll get married

he always forgets our anniversaries >>> he understands my needs

pervert >>> sensitive lover

he screwed my best friend >>>i screwed his best friend

he gets me >>>i get him

fucking asshole arrogant son of a bitch motherfucking cocksucking pike of steaming shit filthy fucking bastard mama’s boy >>> nice guy

selfish lover >>> eats me out

who are you texting? >>>i promise i’m not texting any other guys

god that was such a turn-on >>>i love you

cocky bastard >>> sweet guy

i never know what he’s up to >>> we go everywhere together

lover >>> husband

is that a girl’s voice i hear in the background? >>> thanks for letting me know what time you’ll be home

you’re going to shit in front of me?! >>>i’ll be out in a minute, honey

WOMANESE-TO-ENGLISH TRANSLATOR

Online translator services are really helpful in a pinch when you’re overseas, but what do you do when you’re talking with a woman who speaks your language? American women speak English, at least syntactically and grammatically, but the meanings of their words and sentences often mislead as much as inform. After all, if women said what they meant and spoke clearly and honestly, wining and dining them with all-expenses paid dates would be a thing of the past. You’d know within a few minutes whether she was going to put out for you or not. And if she was interested in sex, you’d know exactly how to proceed to ensure it happened.

So for those times when you actually care what a woman says to you — i. e., those times you’re talking with an attractive young babe you want to crotch smash — your life (and sanity) would be immeasurably improved if you had a Womanese-to-English translator at your instant disposal. Imagine the following conversation:

YOU: Hi, can I buy you a drink?

HER: Sure!

YOU: Cool.

HER: Thanks. [drinks up, eyes room, alpha male pops up out of nowhere and she leaves with him, laughing all the way]

YOU: fuck.

Now this is how the above conversation would go if you had a Chateau Heartiste Womanese-to-English Translator on hand:

YOU: Hi, can I buy you a drink? [turns on W/E Translator, patent pending]

HER: Sure, I won’t turn down a freebie, but it will hurt your chances to have sex with me.

YOU: Nah, I changed my mind. I won’t buy you a drink.

HER: So… you seem kind of interesting. New around here?

See how your life would be so much better with the W/E Translator at your side? Here’s another sample conversation that many of you will encounter in the course of your pickup career:

YOU: I collect walking sticks. Come, let’s go to my place. I’ll show you my collection.

HER: Ok, but nothing’s going to happen tonight.

YOU: [dejected face] oh, ok. Well, can I get your number?

HER: [gives fake number]

Feel like a lah-hooo-ser? You should. But you don’t need to ever feel that way again with the W/E Translator (patent pending, internationally copyrighted)! How would the above conversation have turned out when run through the W/ET for accuracy?

YOU: I collect walking sticks. Come, let’s go to my place. I’ll show you my collection. [turns on W/ET]

HER: Ok, but nothing’s going to happen tonight if you give up trying.

YOU: [smug face] Don’t worry, I won’t.

HER: [takes your arm]

Beautiful love, with an assist from the W/E Translator. Can a price be put on such a product? It can’t, but now you can have it for the low low price of $49.99, an infinity dollars-minus-$49.99 savings! You’d be crazy to pass up this opportunity.

More game-changing, dick-wetting, money-saving, sanity-sparing magic, courtesy of the W/ET:

Before W/E Translator

YOU: [making bedroom move on your wife]

HER: [turns over] I have a headache tonight. Maybe another time.

After W/E Translator

YOU: [making bedroom move on your wife]

HER: [turns over] Can’t do it. My vagina is still sore from fucking my boss.

Before W/E Translator

HER: When are you going to dust the cat hair balls like I asked?

YOU: Sorry, honey, I forgot. I’ll get right to it.

HER: Nevermind, I already did it. You obviously don’t care.

YOU: What?! Of course I care about you! Where did this come from?

HER: Just forget about it. I’ll be at the spa.

After W/E Translator

HER: When are you going to stick up for yourself and say no to me?

YOU: So this is what you mean. I get it now.

HER: My complaint about the cat hair balls is really a passive-aggressive taunt directed at your repulsive feeble betatude.

YOU: It’s refreshing to know how you really feel instead of making me read between the lines.

HER: I’ll be filing for divorce in less than a year.

***

Since I doubt your woman will stop talking anytime soon, the W/E Translator is useful in every situation. Just read these typical obfuscating female words and watch them transform right before your eyes into distilled truth.

HER: I don’t deserve you.

W/ET: Treat me like shit if you want to get in my pants.

HER: I’d rather not corrupt an innocent man.

W/ET: Your inexperience with women is a turn-off.

HER: I’m not nearly as nice of a person as you are.

W/ET: I’m really nice to jerks, but I won’t be nice to you.

HER: I’m a bit too immature to appreciate a guy like you.

W/ET: Call me in ten years after I’ve ridden the cock carousel and my looks have taken a hit.

Act now, and we’ll throw in the bonus W/E Nonverbal Translator! Just hold it up to visually record your girlfriend or wife, and receive a verbal confirmation of her real state of mind.

HER: [scarfs down ice cream]

YOU: [activates W/ENT]

W/ENT: “This ice cream is more exciting to me than your dick.”

***

HER: [parks her fat ass on a sofa to watch The View]

YOU: [point W/ENT at her]

W/ENT: “I no longer feel motivated to please you because you are an uninspiring beta herb.”

Amazing stuff! And guess what? The W/ET even has a super secret algorithm that can tell which words women speak are truthful. That’s right, it knows what needs translating, and what doesn’t! When a woman says something unexpectedly candid, the W/ET flashes a green light. That’s green light for “go to your nearest chapel and profess your belief in a higher being, ESP, and Bigfoot”.

HER: You’re too safe and predictable for me.

W/ET: *green light*

HER: You’re giving me too much power and I resent it.

W/ET: *green light*

HER: I wish you’d stop doing as I say because you logically figure it’s how to avoid a crushing break-up.

W/ET: *green light*

There’s even a setting that allows you to program the W/ET so that the closer a woman comes to speaking the unadulterated truth, the brighter the green light shines in your face.

HER: My vagina burns for violent sexual adventures with an emotionally opaque, aloof badboy who makes me a little scared for my life.

W/ET: *GREEN LIGHT GREEN LIGHT GREEN LIGHT*

Sold yet? You should be! $49.99 will give you such a massive competitive advantage over every other man it’s a wonder this product isn’t ILLEGAL! Buy now before the divorce lawyers find a way to classify the W/E Translator as Schedule I contraband! (Operators and coping therapists standing by.)

THE TOP THREE QUALITIES THAT MAKE A GIRL GOOD GIRLFRIEND MATERIAL

There are many “tells” women have that, unbeknownst to them, signal to the men they are dating their worthiness as long-term investments. The tell number could very well be in the thousands, and, yes ladies, we men are attuned to all of them, in greater or lesser perspicacity, and with conscious awareness or, more often and more insidiously, with subconscious awareness.

But there’s value in narrowing the list to the top three tells, and clarifying them for the less experienced men (betas) so that they are armed with the foreknowledge to actively avoid those women who would make bad girlfriends or wives. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cuckoldry.

So here they are: The top three girlfriend material qualities, in no particular order.

1. She exercised and ate healthily before she met you, and she continues to do so after you start dating her seriously.

Marriage counselors and platitudinal couples therapists can stow their poppycock psychology aka feminist fantasy books. The biggest warning sign that a relationship is about to fail is the growing size of the woman. The fatter and more shapeless she gets, the more her man’s eyes will wander, his empathy will wither, and his heart will shut down. A girl who has spent years cultivating good lifestyle habits that ensure she retains her slender, hourglass figure for as long as possible is a girl who, on a fundamental emotional level, respects men’s needs and seeks to fulfill them. Feminists and assorted broken cunts don’t care about their appearance because they loathe male desire. That is why they are so unpleasant to be around for longer than it takes to deliver a hate-fueled hot jizz payload.

A woman who works to stay as good-looking as she can within the constraints of her genetic endowment is signaling that she has a generous heart and a magnanimous soul. The care with which she comports herself will spill over into care for your well-being and support for your aspirations.

2. She rarely disparages her girl friends or snipes about their flaws behind their backs.

The girl who is forgiving of her friends’ flaws, who does not feel a compulsion to privately tear them down in order to lift herself up, is a rare jewel indeed, for the natural proclivity of The Woman is to backbite, snark and gossip about female competitors, real and imagined, until her ego tank is filled to brimming again. What care should men have about this peculiar trait of the unfairer sex? I’ll tell you. If she’s quick and all too enthusiastic to trash her friends in private, she’ll be quick and all too enthusiastic to demean your manhood in the privacy of her mind. And once she’s gone down that road, the mental demeaning begins its twisted manifestation into nagging and sex withdrawal. Unlike a man with a vendetta, a judgmental bitch has a scattershot target designator; don’t be surprised if one day her gun of ingratitude is aimed directly at you.

However, expecting a girl to be nonjudgmental at all times is unrealistic. Women are born with the neural roadmap to gossip because it aids their sex in maximizing resources for their (eventual) families. But we can draw lines between women who occasionally indulge this instinct and women who wallow in it like a pig in mud. When you’re with your date, is she constantly running down her supposed BFFs? Does her face light up when an opportunity presents to sneer about a friend’s recent nose job? Beware, because you are staring at the dark heart of borderline personality disorder and unfettered narcissism, the latter a characteristic that is particularly galling and self-immolating in women when taken to unhealthy extremes.

A girl who is patient with and tolerant of her friends will extend the same to you. This then is an excellent foundation upon which to build a relationship that will have to, necessarily due to the nature of two parties with competing reproductive goals, navigate shoals in the future. A girl like this will also be more tolerant of your manly desire, and, instead of cutting down her competition, will work on herself so that she can compete with the best of them for your love.

3. She has not had many past lovers, and she is not a constitutional flirt who will invite the temptation of more lovers.

Lovefacts to make a feminist’s vagina explode angrily in a shower of dustballs: The more partners a woman has had, the more likely she is to divorce you. Sluts really are bad long-term prospects for men. They are great lays, but they are bad ideas as girlfriends or wives. So be on the lookout today for any and all slut tells a girl will reveal in the course of dating her. It could save you a divorce theft tomorrow.

But it’s not always easy to unearth a woman’s sordid past (rule of thumb: your working assumption should be that her past is more sordid than it is modest). So you have to rely on other, more immediate cues of future unfaithful whorishness. That’s where a keen eye for her propensity to switch on a dime into flirt mode will serve you well. Constitutional flirts, aka eternal ingenues, while fun in the beginning for their sexual promise and alluring coyness, can quickly become stressful headaches within the confines of a relationship. Watch for how effortlessly she can segue from poised girl into seductive flirt when other men are around. Does it come a little *too* naturally for her? Then you, my friend, are playing with vagina fire. A girl who loves to flirt, and indulges frequently with or without you, is a girl who is one private moment in the afterhours office meeting room from cheating on you.

Now, personally, I love flirty women. So walking the fine line between enjoying the company of flirts and suffering the crassness of flakes has presented challenges. Obviously, I look for women who moderate their urges to flirt. A girl who generously throws off a flirty vibe that once in a blue moon time because she feels especially good about the way she looks, or because it’s her birthday, is no trouble to dating stability. The girl who flirts with her girlfriend’s boyfriend on a random Wednesday night because, oh, she wants ALL the men’s attention, and burgers are half price, is a girl you should consider fucking and chucking after a few months pretending you’re into her that way.

More importantly, does she direct her flirting to me, or to the world? Some girls just can’t get their attention whore fix without a large audience of men. Other girls, the better ones, are satisfied getting their ego fixes from their lovers alone. If a girl I am dating likes to flirt, but she finds her outlet role playing Seductress Joan with me rather than sidling up like the town courtesan to every meathead with a hungry glare, I bump her to the top of my LTR potential list.

I hope this post is equally informative for the women reading as it is for the men. You ladies have a duty too, if you want to capture the heart of a high value man, and keep it:

Be fit.

Be forgiving.

Don’t be a foul slut.

If you think about it, that’s not asking much compared to the grind that the average man has to endure to claim a single pussy as his own.

QUALITY GIRL

I’m often asked “What do you consider a quality girl?” This is a good question, if by quality we mean a girl I’d be willing to date long term (>3 months), to invest more than the minimal amount of my time and energy, and to feel secure, if I were so inclined, in committing myself exclusively without worry that she might spread her legs for any random guy who happens to catch her alone on an especially drunken night and says the right things about how good her forehead looks in the reflection of the beer bottle.

Very few… and I mean VERY few… women in DC have met my exacting standards of quality. I’d estimate that of all the girls I’ve dated in this city less than 10% were worthy of my full attention. I’d hazard to guess that if all men held themselves to the same high standards I do and didn’t kowtow to the first chick who deigned to bless them with a crumb of affection there’d be universal agreement among DC men that my 10% figure is accurate. Maybe in flyover country the number of quality girls hits 25%. In Poland it is 80%. The times have changed and quality girls are no longer the norm.

So what makes a quality girl? Well, I know what *doesn’t* make a quality girl.

She has cheated more than three times in her life, or has cheated more than once on the same boyfriend.

She forgets to say “thank you” when you buy her a drink. Buying her a second drink confirms her ingratitude.

She dates around. Dating around — specifically, seeing more than one person concurrently — is a prerogative of men only, for reasons having to do with the greater leverage men need to arm themselves with to compete in a dating market that is fundamentally tilted in favor of women. Any girl who makes a habit of dating more than one guy at a time, especially if the parallel dating lasts longer than one month, in order to milk her options is a bad seed. In all my years of banging, one soulsaving thing I’ve learned is to walk away from any girl who I’ve discovered is also dating other men. Even if I beat the competition and win her over, it never ends well.

She tells you she has a long distance boyfriend she loves, then proceeds to bang you anyway. A few months later, you see her groping a new guy, and she’s still with her boyfriend. (That relationship is doomed.)

Her default mode is sarcasm, negativity, coarseness, and shamelessness.

She spends twice as much time getting ready for a house party than she spends getting ready for a date with you.

She can’t control her impulse to flirt with other men. Double minus points if she does this in your presence.

She doesn’t seem nervous undressing in front of you the first time.

She fucks you on a pretense of less than the sum total of an hour of conversation, and calls you the next day worried that your condomless sex might have given her something. (She’s been down this road before).

She is proud to be on the pill and considers her dependence on it a carte blanche slut sanctioner instead of a safety net affection fortifier.

She is cavalier about casual sex.

A quality girl does the opposite of all the above. She doesn’t cheat, and if she does she has a plausible rationale. But she will still feel bad about it. She is generous when it is risky to be so. She is positive and lifts people up, not pushes them down to lift herself up. She laughs at the absurdity and beauty of the world, but never at the expense of others. She is warm, and this is something that can’t be taught. She says “I love you” early and often out of conviction, not inquisition. She understands that her heart is more important than her pride.

A high quality girl is good for standing by, sticking with, supporting always, loving fully, defending righteously, and if the timing is right, embracing for life to the exclusion of all others. She is the type of girl who can enthrall you with her words alone. She can make you smile over the phone. She can be far away but feel near. She is often discovered in the unlikeliest places, and her magic is the energy that animates her pretty face, rather than the other way around.

Low quality girls are good for fucking, a few laughs, some funny digicam pics, and that’s it. Spare your hard-earned manly capital — your time, your resources, your protection, your commitment, your LOVE — for those few quality girls you might meet if you’re lucky. And speaking as a man who has seen, heard and experienced enough to turn the most naive optimist into a stone cold cynic, if you do meet a girl like that, you would be a fool to pass her up. Her kind is going extinct.

IT'S EASY TO IDENTIFY A SLUT

Women seem to think that men are too thickheaded and inattentive to identify which of them are cockgobbling cumguzzling sluts. Or they prefer to believe their sly poses of innocence and white lies are good enough to keep men in the dark about their sexual histories. They would be wrong. The dirty little secret is out: Men have finely tuned straydar for slutty women because they are the ones more likely to cheat. Women lie more about their sexual pasts to men and to themselves, or otherwise expend great effort covering it up, because they know that men will downgrade them as potential long term mates if their sluttiness were revealed in all its jizz-spackled bukkaked glory.

Here is a list of tramp tells:

She broaches the subject of sex first.

The more explicitly she talks about sex before you’ve banged her, the likelier she has a storied slutty past.

She suggests kinky sex acts.

If you’ve been dating a short while and she eagerly implores you for public sex before the glow of bedroom missionary sex has worn off, you’ve got a slut.

She’s neurotic and disagreeable.

Emotionally flighty girls are vaginally flighty girls. They are ruled by their vaginas. If she’s the gossipy, backstabbing, conniving sort who drips with sarcasm and generally disdains everyone around her, you can bet her black soul will seek sustenance on a carousel of cock.

She frequently goes commando.

Yeah, as guys, we think it’s hot when we slide our hands under our girlfriends’ dresses during dinner in a fancy restaurant and discover a panty-less pussy waiting for us, but what if you notice she’s sans underwear while you’re both shopping in Whole Foods? At a family picnic? In church? On a ferris wheel? In a glass elevator? You get the picture.

She’s got that crazy, hyper, coked-up look in her eyes.

Welcome to attention whore land! Chicks who can’t breathe without being the center of attention are chicks who are unable to control their craving for fresh cock. You want to be on the lookout for manic depressives and girls who can’t make it through a ten minute conversation without screeching in phony excitement.

She shows a lot of cleavage all the time.

No worries if she’s accentuating her tits on the first date to entice you, but if she’s got those colliding death stars displayed for the world to admire every time you’re out with her, you’ve got a woman on your hands who is addicted to advertising herself. And there will be buyers, oh yes!

She *really* seems to know what she’s doing in bed.

Hey man, nothing like getting a BJ from a chick who knows how to hit the underside with her tongue, but it does make you wonder how much dick it required for her to reach that level of professionalism.

She has an impressive collection of vibrators and admits to wicking off to porn.

She’s a high testosterone sex fiend who values sexual novelty more than pair bonding. This type of girl is a creature of her id. High T girls are easy to spot. Check for forearm hair, narrow hips, broad shoulders, a penchant for cursing, a flat ass (adjusted for race), career ambition, and status whoring.

She asks you how many women you’ve slept with or accuses you of being a player.

One word: projection.

She seems “hard”.

If she’s got that tough, tankgrrl aura about her, like she’s been through dating hell and back, and her cynicism is worse than yours, you know she’s been used like a cheap whore.

She’s incredibly circumspect or incredibly forthcoming about her past or sex in general.

In the course of a few dates, occasionally the conversation turns to past loves or sexual experiences, or views on men and women and the dating scene. Normally, these exchanges are blessedly brief and act as useful springboards for other topics, but when she seems like she’s hiding something big you’ve got a right to be suspicious. Listen for tells that give the game away. Stuff like “Oh well, we all have our skeletons”. Or “I’ve learned so much growing up.” Or “Men are pigs.” (The last one usually said by a record-breaking slut.) Naturally, you want to write off any girl as GF material who brags about her CRAZY and WILD college years. Believe me, those years included more than college.

She’s an artsy type.

Or a lawyer. See: Eternal Ingenue and Amazonian Alpha. The paradox of femininity is that it is often both the ultrafeminine and ultramasculine women who have racked up big numbers of men.

She tells you about all the places she’s traveled.

Yeah, chicks love to travel, but how many have put their dreams into action? If your date has been around the world twice with multiple stops in Rome, Rio, Vegas, LA, or some Appalachian backwater you can be sure she’s “traveled” straight into the crotch of an exotic local at every destination.

She never has a break between men longer than one week.

If she’s the type who can’t stand to be single and monkey swings from one man to the next, sometimes with sperm-sharing overlap, odds are high she’s a slut.

You’re tapping her for the first time and she doesn’t remind you to put on a condom.

We men have an excellent fallback system for flushing out the sluts. If we think you’ve been around, we act as if we’re going to rawdog you, only to reach for the condom at the last possible second. If you haven’t reminded us to put one on during the long pre-penetration buildup, and it looks like you’d have been OK taking our unwrapped meat, we have all the evidence we need that you’re a skank.

She never stops shit testing you.

A girl who is constantly testing you for alpha congruency is a girl who would jump to another man the moment you betatize yourself. Worthy girls keep the shit testing to a bare minimum. Turn on your love light, baby.

She buys you a lot of gifts.

I’m not sure why this is a leading indicator of sluttiness, but in my experience it is. Especially if she showers you with little gifts early in the relationship. I open the floor to a discussion of theories for this particular observation.

She’s OK with making out in bars.

Self-explanatory.

She lets you snort coke off her ass.

Oh yeah, big time slut.

She’s black.

Sorry, folks, hate to say it, but going by my personal experience and what I’ve heard from friends, black chicks seem to sleep around more. Don’t blame me, I’m just the Deliverer Of Truths Best Left Unsaid But I’m Going To Say Anyhow.

She has a lot of slutty friends.

Ye shall know her by her support group.

Her cunt is cavernous.

Some of you wonder if this is an urban legend or a frat boy joke, but it’s got a kernel of truth. If you feel big with most girls, but small with her (and she doesn’t have the excuse of being a seacow), she has a stretched out pussy that has happily accommodated a parade of giant cocks. Why do you think Kegels are all the rage with the city slutterati? Chicks are onto the fact that their distended pussies betray their loose ways, and anything to tighten up that love hole helps them hide their pecker pounded tracks. When I feel humongous with a girl, I know she has a normal sized snatch that hasn’t been used like the town orifice. The more I feel like I’m ripping her insides to shreds, the likelier I am to move her to the front of my cherished girlfriend queue.

Your gut tells you she may be a slut.

Always go with your gut. It will almost never lead you astray.

****

A lot of guys, particularly artsy fartsy greater beta males whose agenda is to ingratiate themselves to women with a fawning act of white knighting nonjudgmentalist drivel, believe that it is wrong to categorize women by sluttiness, let alone to disqualify them as relationship candidates based on how many hot loads to the face they took over the course of their sexually active lifetimes. “Don’t judge!” is the rallying cry of weak women and lickspittle betas and lesser alphas everywhere. Conveniently forgotten in this social stampede to shame male standards out of existence is the fact that judgment is inherent to human nature. The frontlines of judging eyes are everywhere. We all do it, including those who judge others for exercising their judgment. If sluttiness were just another lifestyle choice with no implications, there would not be a stigma attached to the word, nor a concerted effort to enforce compliance with the equalist world order by the guardians of female prerogative and pushers of beta male submission howling with inflamed passion at the injustice of men who dare to promote less promiscuous women at the expense of sluts for the best of their masculine love and attention.

Note: As a tactical matter, it’s recommended to refrain from being judgmental of the sexual history of girls you are gaming. Naturally, you don’t want to deep six a budding romance before you’ve closed the deal. There will be plenty of time post-sex for you to take a measure of the girl’s sluttiness and screen her for lesser or greater commitment. I think this goes without saying, but apparently there are some commenters who believe being completely nonjudgemental of anything a woman does is the mark of an alpha. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Only alphas have the market value to mercilessly judge the women they choose to bring into their lives.

Men subconsciously judge women’s sluttiness for eminently practical reasons, just as women judge men on a host of alpha benchmarks for similarly practical reasons. No moral equation required. “Slut” is, in fact, a morally neutral term in the context of the sexual market, where a slutty girl is viewed, justifiably, desirably as an easy lay who will go all the way right away, and undesirably as a girlfriend or wife prospect in whom to invest precious resources. With the law and social institutions of the modern west arrayed against male interest as it hasn’t been in all of human history, it is of critical importance that men get this part of choosing girls for long term investment and wife and mother potential down to a science. Mandatory paternity testing will aid them in this, and I predict such testing will seismically shift the playing field in a way we haven’t seen since the introduction of the pill and widespread use of the condom. While most married men are not soulkilled by cuckoldry, it only takes a radical change at the margins to have a huge effect on the behaviors of the whole.

For those of you new to the Wonderworks that is Poon, don’t bother bitching ineffectually like a wind-up Jezebel lezbot about “double standards“. They are a fact of deeply ingrained sex differences, and aren’t going anywhere. No one said life was fair.

Maxim #41: The more experience you have with women, the more you’ll know which women have experience with men.

Corollary to #41: It is the inexperienced beta male who is most often in the dark about a woman’s sexual history and liable to be victimized by the cheating slut.

The median number of sex partners for American women is 3(!). The average is 8.6. This means that there is a group of super slutty women, let’s call them “girls who live in the big blue coastal cities and work in marketing or PR”, who are shifting the average higher for all women. By these numbers, it is fair to conclude that a woman who has had more than the median number of partners is a candidate for slut designation, and the higher her number the sluttier she is.

0 lifetime partners: Sweet virginal manna. A bit weird, but you’re confident you’ll break her in.

3 lifetime partners: Typical woman. Wife and mother of your children material.

10 lifetime partners: Above average. Proceed with caution.

15 lifetime partners: Well above average. Be dominant or she’ll cheat.

25 lifetime partners: A whole lot. Use her and lose her.

100 lifetime partners: Stopwatch material. You wonder how fast you can get her from “Hi” to “Spread your ass cheeks, I’m going in”.

I suspect that overall female sluttiness (actual penis in vagina sluttiness, not sluttiness as defined by proxy fashion trends) has increased slightly over the past 40 years, with the blue state city chicks fucking around more than ever and the red state religious girls fucking around less. It goes without saying that only the top 20% of men are enjoying the emergent slut bounty.

What men think about sluts, illustrated:

WHAT A GIRL'S JOB TELLS YOU

Here are my opinions of the sexual and relationship compatibilities of girls with the following jobs:

ADDENDUM:
Some of the commenters mentioned I left interns and staffers off the list. I count these girls as part of the hr/marketing/pr brigade except they are burdened with much bigger egos, self-righteousness, and workaholic issues. They all secretly want to hook up with an older powerful man. They disdain artist types.

SSR: full erection (come on, they’re all under 23. rigidity guaranteed)

LTPR: varies (are you a congressman? lock her in. if not, use her and lose her)

It was an oversight by me to leave off saleswomen. See: Lawyer and HR/Marketing/PR. Much depends on how well she does in sales. Because sales is so inegalitarian in how the field dispenses its rewards, you have to make a distinction between weekend warriors and the true success stories. Is she a dilettante real estate agent? She’ll be grounded and feminine. Consider a long-term investment in her. Did she turn $250K in commissions as a pharm sales rep? She’s just as alpha and ballcutting masculine as the BIGLAW lawyer. Just remember, if she can compete with the most aggressive MEN and still come out on top, her vagina is coated with radioactive juices.

Note on lawyers: Just because she may work for a non-profit doesn’t make her a kinder, gentler woman. In fact, some of the most cutthroat lawyers work at non-profits since those positions are in demand and in short supply. Moralism and megalomania is never a good combination.

Lawyer

Amoral alpha males with vaginas. Their yin is so deeply buried they spend all their free time (2 hours per week) fantasizing about a powerful dominant man releasing their inner woman. This is your cue to ratchet up the assholery. Outside of i-bankers and fashionistas, you will not meet a more materialistic or status-conscious chick than a lawyer. When she inevitably starts talking about what law school she attended and politicos she knows, put your finger up to her mouth and say “shhh… stop. From now on we will talk about happy things. Tell me only the good things that come to mind about your childhood.” Most lawyer chicks have large clits which they use to pin you down on the bed. Making love to a lawyer means facefucking her till she pukes a little. The gods of karmic retribution will be pleased with this. Lawyers are always fucking over everyone else so this is your chance to return the favor. Proceed with great relish.

Sexual Satisfaction Rating: 4/5th erection

Long Term Potential Rating: don’t be a masochist

Human Resources/Marketing/Public Relations (99% of all women)

Since so many women work in these preposterous fields, it is hard to say anything definitive about them as romantic partners. The only conclusions we can draw are that these women are people-persons (shocker!) and have ADD. They could not sit still for a minute and reduce a fraction if their lives depended on it. They are intuitive and fiercely catty, but also practical. In fact, conventional wisdom to the contrary notwithstanding, women are more practical than men. Let her believe you think her job is important and she will spread her legs for you unbidden.

Sexual Satisfaction Rating: 2/3rd erection

Long Term Potential Rating: 3/4 carat

Engineer (0.00001% of all women)

If there was ever an occupation created solely for the benefit of a man’s intellectual strengths, engineering is it. So right off the bat you know that any female engineer will be weird. Not necessarily assertively masculine like the female lawyer, but not typically feminine either. Female engineers are the Holy Grail of male nerddom. Every nerdo anime fanboy with Dungeon Master on his resume dreams of meeting and falling in love with a cute nerdgirl WHO IS EXACTLY LIKE HIM so that his autistic social retardation doesn’t get pushed to the breaking point like it would with a normal girl.

Minus: fornication mysteriously happens in between lengthy dissertations on string theory.

Plus: she can assume sex positions within a millimeter of spec.

Sexual Satisfaction Rating: 1/4th erection

Long Term Potential Rating: 5 carats

Elementary School Teacher

Pure gold. Put this girl on your short list for long term commitment. What’s not to love about the elementary school teacher? Cute, thin (it’s a workout chasing kids all day), ultra feminine, nurturing, selfless, caring, and most importantly blessedly low maintenance due to the nature of her workplace environment sequestering her from the attentions of men. The best ones teach 1st through 5th grades. Women who supervise daycare are too toddler-focused and will love the kids more than you. You will soon tire of her coo-ing at every baby you both pass by. High school teachers are too stressed out from their job to properly service your manly needs at home. Don’t bother with college professors unless you think foreplay is listening to an earful of pomo feminist shrillness.

Bonus: teachers don’t make much money so your financial status will always be higher, guaranteeing a long and healthy relationship.

Sexual Satisfaction Rating:3/4th erection

Long Term Potential Rating: hope diamond (she’s not gonna have much opportunity to cheat at work)

Nurse

See: elementary school teacher. One caveat — the nurse is secretly a status whore. Patients lean on her all day for comfort and assistance so when she gets home she wants nothing more for herself than a high status alpha male to lean on. That is why you will often see nurses pairing up with military officers, stockbrokers, and executives. The superfeminine gravitates to the supermasculine. Surprisingly, nurses and doctors rarely date — perhaps they look for a partner in whom they can escape the human suffering they deal with on the clock, and not be reminded of it at home.

Sexual Satisfaction Rating:1/3rd erection (full erection if she wears the nurse outfit)

Long Term Potential Rating: cubic zirconia (it’s fun to fool status whores)

Scientist

Hidden gem. The female scientist is reserved, taciturn, introspective, shy, and when they put some effort into how they look, cute — all wonderful traits for a woman to possess. They ambitiously pursue abstract ideas, not material goals or one-upmanship, so status competition with them will be minimal. They are smart in the way people like their smarties — inwardly directed as opposed to outwardly manipulative. This is a result of their smarts being spread out over both brain hemispheres rather than concentrated in just the right like most women. The scientist’s natural creativity and systematizing impulse will express itself with magnificent attention to detail in the bedroom. You will never get a better… or more meticulous… blowjob.

Minus: she is ultimately rational and will give you exactly six months to propose. No stringing along this chick.

Sexual Satisfaction Rating: serviceable chubby

Long Term Potential Rating: 3 carats (frumpy clothes and dorky competition encourage fidelity)

Stripper

Have you ever seen an unhappy man dating a stripper? The novelty, bragging rights, and earthshattering sex are worth the drama.

Sexual Satisfaction Rating: titanium rod

Long Term Potential Rating: hide your valuables

Journalist

Don’t ask me why but for some reason these girls have absolutely no personal ethical code whatsoever. Which may be why the journalism profession is in such disarray today and trusted by no one. The she-journo will fuck around remorselessly with a dashing embed while her fiancee waits loyally at home for her return.

Sexual Satisfaction Rating: 3/4th erection

Long Term Potential Rating: 1/24 carat

Artist

Every man should experience at least once in his life the joy of dating an artist chick. Painters, photographers, singers, freelance fiction writers, actresses… their exuberant lovemaking will spoil you for all other women. Their beautiful romantic gestures will capture your heart. Their craving for intimacy and their wellspring of empathy will draw you in. And then right at the moment you fall deepest for her you will catch her one nightfrenching a half-shaven DJ at a seedy club.

Sexual Satisfaction Rating: titanium rod minus refractory period

Long Term Potential Rating: cracker jack box ring

CEO

Are you fucking kidding me?

Sexual Satisfaction Rating: flaccid

Long Term Potential Rating: why bother?

Waitress

That’s more like it.

Sexual Satisfaction Rating:7/8th erection

Long Term Potential Rating:1/2 carat

Blogger

If she writes a confessional online diary, expect her to be passive-aggressive, petty, moody, cruel, untrustworthy, vengeful, and highly libidinous. Make a sex tape as soon as it is feasible so you can use it as blackmail in the event of post-breakup threats to out your dirty laundry on her blog.

Sexual Satisfaction Rating: N/A

Long Term Potential Rating: N/A

I hope it hasn’t escaped anyone’s notice that sexual satisfaction and long term potential are inversely related.

JUDGING A GIRL BY THE FRIENDS SHE KEEPS

When you start dating a girl, you will get to meet her friends, sometimes sooner, sometimes later. But usually within the first couple of months you will have been introduced to nearly everyone she knows (locally), especially if she really likes you. Pay close attention to the types of friends she has (if she has any), for that will tell you a lot about her long term potential. Screening a girl for LTR worthiness based on the friendships she keeps is a powerful tool men have at their disposal, and one you should not overlook.

The following categories are ranked by LTR worthiness and chance of mental instability.

The Girl with No Friends

LTR worthiness: Short but passionate fling

Chance of mental instability: Sleep with one eye open

A girl with no friends likely has some personality defect that prevents her from forming bonds with people. Other girls regard her as a weirdo, and not without justification. Men think her social isolation means she will be an easy lay. They are right. This kind of girl is starved for human connection with a man who “gets her”. Hit those buttons, and you will enjoy a three month festival of zero-cost fornication. After a while, though, her weirdness will grate, and she will pull stunts that make you scratch your head in confusion. Girls with no friends are often brooding emo types, or cutters, and they may go batshit crazy if you dump them. Have a restraining order ready.

The Girl with No Close Friends, Only Acquaintances

LTR worthiness: Pump and dump

Chance of mental instability: Hope you like drama

The classic attention whore. The girl with nothing but loose acquaintances who flit in and out of her life craves the attention of hundreds, if not thousands, of human beings. She is usually a hot chick with a swollen ego who initially attracts girls into her reality for friendship, but who then drives them away with her insatiable appetite for social domination and ego stroking. She is a known blue ball queen who gets off stringing along beta orbiters in sexless perpetuity. She is simultaneously loved and loathed by her girlfriends, who find her outrageous fun at parties, but insufferable in more intimate settings. She is frequently bad-mouthed behind her back, and she presents one of the few cases where girl friends will sympathize more with her male suitors and boyfriends than they will with her. She is a high infidelity risk, so proceed with caution. Best used as a sperm receptacle, if you can get her to give it up (not an easy task unless you know how to expose her soft underbelly — fear of ostracization.)

The Girl with Only Family for Friends

LTR worthiness: Perennial booty call

Chance of mental instability: Riddled with insecurities

On paper, a girl who only has her family for companionship may strike you as a good LTR prospect. You think: Ah, she’s grounded, earthy, family-oriented, and shuns the nightlife. But you would be wrong. As any man who has married a “family-only” girl will tell you, they are demanding, mule-headed, socially awkward, often obnoxious and full of themselves. Remember, she’s had her family telling her how great she is her whole life, with no unbiased opinion from outside sources checking her ego. She is, in fact, not much different than the girl with no friends, except she has decided that leaning on her family for support and ego gratification is better than being alone. Other girls find her annoying at best, and arrogantly repugnant at worst, and that is why she must retreat to the comfortable confines of family for her social needs.

The no-friends girl at least has the cutesy artist angle to work; the family-only girl has nothing to offer but an unjustified entitlement complex. She is the classic daddy’s slutty princess. The family girl instinctually knows this about herself, and thus will nurse barely-concealed insecurities about her true worth, which she will take out on you, making your life miserable. Double-plus negative: You’ve gotta deal with her parents, brothers and sisters ALL THE TIME. Run away (after you’ve plundered her ass.)

The Girl with Only Guy Friends

LTR worthiness: Second string girlfriend

Chance of mental instability: High, if you regard manipulation and tomboyishness as psychological disorders

What do you get when you surround a girl with obsequious, supplicating betas who want in her panties, and remove all contact with catty girl friends who might steal the attention of those mewling betas? Yeah, that’s right… a self-centered user. If the girl is cute, you should always cast a jaundiced eye at her if her friends are all men. Odds are very good that most of those men… actually, all of them… want to bang her (and she knows this). But they aren’t. Their job is to mingle in her glorious presence, polishing her pedestal and generally turning her into a girl who expects men to roll out the red carpet for her. She is the classic cocktease. She loves the intimate emotional connection she gets from a close circle of male friends, without having to give up her pussy to any of them or having to deal with competitor females. Now you may be the most alpha male of all times, and she may love you for it, but once a girl has demonstrated by her friendship choices that she is a user, there will come a time, you can count on it, that she will try to use you. It’s best to keep her in your second tier of lovers, where her machinations won’t affect you with nearly as much import.

Caveat: If she’s plain looking and has mostly male friends, the upside of her having a well-developed sympathy for men’s peculiar challenges outweighs the downside of her having her ego stroked and her emotional needs met all the time by her male friends. All the better if most of her male friends are alphas themselves who are in relationships and who don’t spend inordinate time massaging her ego. But then why are you dating a plain-looking girl?

The Girl with Mostly Gay Guy Friends

LTR worthiness: One night stand

Chance of mental instability: She gets her own DSM edition

Same as above, except multiplied one thousand fold. A big unwritten story about the decline of the West is the deleterious impact trendy gay men have had on the egos of single urban Western SWPL women. If you can imagine it, try to picture her as nothing more than a disembodied vaginal hole. It will help keep a healthy emotional distance. A few gay guy friends is perfectly fine. Ten of them, to the exclusion of other groups of friends, is a red flag.

The Girl with Only Girl Friends

LTR potential: High, if you like lavish weddings

Chance of mental instability: Not more than the average girl, which is to say, high

The good news about the girl with only girl friends is that she is normal and feminine. She likes doing girly stuff, and if you are a real man and not a spotted-ass nerd with a jones for a butt-kicking babe who solves math proofs in her downtime, then you will appreciate being the boyfriend of this type of socially calibrated and psychologically balanced girl. There’s nothing wrong with dating a girl who, you know, ACTS LIKE A GIRL. Another plus: she doesn’t require the ministrations of hordes of beta male taintlickers to keep her from downward spiraling into depression.

The bad news should be obvious: she has no concept of what men must endure in either the dating market or the social market in general. Thus, her sympathy for men is nil, and she comes across solipsistic and self-absorbed. But she will happily bend to the will of a strong man, because she does not shun her female nature. She makes a great girlfriend; a wife, though, is an entirely different matter. That same group of supportive single girl friends who loved you as her boyfriend will tirelessly work to undermine your marriage should they themselves remain in the purgatory of singledom.

The Girl with Only Lesbian Friends

*Doesn’t exist in the state of nature.*

The Girl with a Mixed Group of Girl and Guy Friends

LTR potential: Be careful, your player days might be over with her!

Chance of mental instability: She makes most girls seem like candidates for institutionalization

And here we have the ideal girl, if LTRs are your thing. (Note: If same night lays are your thing, she is NOT the ideal girl.) She is open-minded and humble enough to enjoy the company of a variety of friends with strong opinions, she has enough femininity to relish time with girl friends, and she has enough exposure to guy friends that she can sympathize with their concerns. Ideal scenario: her girl and guy friends are all in relationships of their own. This limits the cattiness and the beta orbiter supplication to a manageable level.

A girl who maintains an attractive humility and who respects the wishes and the laments of men is a girl who is emotionally secure enough to not just tolerate, but embrace, the company of both girl friends and guy friends. She loves people for who they are, and not for what they can do for her ego.

The Girl with One or Two Player Friends

LTR potential: bimonthly tests for STDs, OR GF material

Chance of mental instability: She’s not crazy, she’s creative!

If a girl spends a lot of time with either a Samantha-type slut or a Hitch-like player, she’s got hang-ups about her sexuality and her dating market value worth. She wants to live vicariously through their exploits because she herself lives a rather modest life, or she IS like them and enjoys being with people who live and think just as she does. If the former, she might be redeemable with enough LTR game. If the latter, there’s a good chance that eerie suspicion you had that she was getting pounded by another cock last Thursday was true.

Major red flag: Double all her slut points if the time she spends with the player or the slut is over Sunday brunch at a tapas restaurant, getting drunk on mimosas.

***

My hope with this post is to impress upon the male reader the importance of not only screening girls for LTR potential, but of winning over a girl’s friends, man or woman, if you intend to date her beyond the customary three weeks. While it appeals to a certain renegade male mindset to boff a girl and pay no heed to her extraneous social life, it’s always better to have her friends on the inside of the tent pissing out, than outside pissing in. Girls, being the lemming sex, rely more heavily than men do on the judgment of their friends’ opinions about their boyfriends. If she is someone you could date for the long haul, best to befriend her social circle eagerly. If nothing else, you have neutralized any future sabotage. More likely, you have made a new group of friends. And if your girlfriend is cool, then the solid bet is that her friends are cool, too.

THE DIFFICULTY OF GAMING WOMEN BY AGE BRACKET

The following observations apply to established adult men, post college years. Younger men still in college will find their success rate with women of various ages, particularly older women (aka cougars), highly variable. The rules for them will be different than the rules for older men.

18 to 22 yearolds

Hard to believe, but it is often easier to bed a very young woman than an older woman, if you are an older man. This is because 20-40% of women are specifically attracted to older men. It is hard-wired in them, and this hard-wiring can be reinforced by poor family upbringing resulting from divorce of parents or absentee fathers. Single moms are the greatest source of future generations of slutty daughters the world has ever known.

Your goal is to identify which 18-21 yearolds are amenable to being seduced by you. Since a majority will balk at the idea, you should learn to quickly identify and NEXT! them. Thankfully, most girls aren’t brazen cockteases, and will make their lack of interest known early on. Beware, though, that a small minority of barely legal rapacious golddiggers will try to keep you on tenterhooks, extracting your resources for little in return. A simple preemptive qualification should suffice to smoke them out.

You can bang an 18-21 year old surprisingly quickly because they have little ASD (anti-slut defense). This is because they do not have the long history of sluttiness common to older women which needs to be rationalized away by posturing as a paragon of chaste virtue. A young woman simply won’t perceive sex with you as an admission of sluttiness. She is innocent to herself as well as to you. Plus, actual slutty behavior has been defined down so that five partners today is equivalent to one partner thirty years ago.

Caveat to the above: although you can get the bang with an 18-21 year old very quickly, you should not prime the path to banging with obvious signs of physical escalation. There is a high risk with very young women that escalating kino will be perceived as “pervy” or “creepy”. This means no PDA, no “innocent” touching of her erogenous zones, and no raunchy sex talk. You want to keep it on the superficial friend tip until she is in your place. Then you should escalate rapidly. You’d be amazed how fast the young woman sheds her clothes when the bang is in sight. Very little foreplay is required. The sex will be, as you can imagine, the hottest you will ever have.

DO NOT EVER “DATE” an 18-21 year old. Women under 23 don’t date, they “hang out”. Anything that remotely smacks of a date — drinks at a lounge, dinner for two, day trips to a museum — will scare her off. The under-23 young woman cannot handle the “seriousness” of a dating context. This is the reality of modern America. “Dating” makes younger women think “no fun, marriage, kids, pressure, relationships, stuff that older people do”. You need to be so chill that you’re barely motivated to do anything proactive with her. Instead, “hang out” with her in a neutral context. Walks along window-browsing streets are good for this. So is meeting at a local park and talking while goofing off on the swings. You can take her to a coffee shop as long as you don’t buy anything.

DON’T BE LAME. If a 19 year old (true story) offers you an E tab in a dark corner of a loud club at 1 am, don’t refuse her like some boring fuddy-duddy. Either pop that baby and enjoy the ride, or pretend to take it and throw it away when she’s not looking if you’re suspicious of the pill’s origins and purity. Push for a blowjob in the alley behind the club; plans to make future dates are a fool’s errand.

DON’T BE HER DAD. Contrary to popular misconception, most young women don’t want to date a father figure. They DO want to date a strong dominant man, and older men bring that demeanor to the table. This is why it is better to dress youthfully (if you are in shape) rather than in a sharp suit and tie if it’s much younger women you want to meet. A notable minority of younger women love the business suit look, but most of them, especially the ones on the fence about dating older men, would feel more comfortable if you projected an aura of youthfulness through your dress and attitude.

23 to 27 yearolds

Similar to the 18-22 yearolds in terms of difficulty of picking up, with some important differences. The 23-27 year old feels she is at her attractiveness peak, despite her peak having passed a few years earlier. This is because she is surrounded by many more high status men than she was while in college (or working at the Piggly Wiggly) who are expressing sexual interest in her. This social dynamic will work to inflate her ego beyond the bounds of her actual beauty ranking. Some consequences result from this.

NEG HARDER. The 23-27 year old will require harder negging than any other age group of women, even the hotter 18 year olds. She needs her ego punctured before her pussy will open for you. Remember that cherished maxim:

Maxim #23: The defensive crouch is where pussy tingles are born.

DEFY EXPECTATIONS. She expects you to pay her way and play the role of earnest suitor. You can’t “hang out” with the 23-27 year old like you should with the 18-22 year old without staining yourself with the immaturity label, but you shouldn’t fall into her trap of arid, sexless dating either. Arrange dates that are simple and logistically favorable. Never spend more than two drinks’ worth of money on her on a single date.

DATE CONCURRENTLY. The 23-27 is, arguably, the most in-demand woman on the market. Various social factors account for this, which will be the subject of another post. Thus, she will have the greatest self-regard. Despite your best game, you may find yourself getting flaked on by a girl in this age range. A good defense is a solid offense, so minimize the creep of neediness and desperation by dating many women at once. Do not feel guilt about fucking multiple women concurrently.

THIS IS YOUR SWEET SPOT FOR GAME. No other woman will react as positively to hardcore game as the 23-27 year old. She and her sisters will be throwing meatballs at the middle of your lineup. Aim for the fences.

28 to 30 yearolds

Finally, the female ego suffers chinks in its armor. She will try hard to cover these cracks, but they’ll creep out here and there. 30 is a huge and depressing milestone for women, but 29 is an even more depressing birthday. It is the “last hurrah”, so to speak, and the number taunts her daily with reminders of her impending obsolescence. A single girl who was dumped by her boyfriend and who has just turned 29 may be the easiest girl in the world to lay. You will still need to game her, but the path to sex will be exhilaratingly fast and furious.

28-30 yearolds are a mixed bunch. Some are riding a wave of career and social success that has nowhere to go but down, and their bloated egos reflect that. Others, less conventionally successful, are emotionally frazzled by the disappearing act of their heady youth and by the intractability of their singledom. You will find some of the cuntiest, and sweetest, girls in this age range.

Same rules as the ones for 23-27 yearolds apply to 28-30 yearolds, with the exception that negging should be tailored to the life success as well as the looks of the girl you are gaming. A 30 year old businesswoman is often harder to game than a 20 year old hipster. She will need subtle reminders that her beauty isn’t what it once was.

31 to 34 yearolds

In some ways, women in the 31-34 age range are the toughest broads to game. (By “toughest”, it is meant “most time consuming”.) It’s counterintuitive, yes, but there are factors at work besides her declining beauty which mitigate against the easy, quick lay. For one, it is obviously harder to meet single 31-34 year old women than it is to meet single younger women. Marriage is still a pussy-limiting force to contend with for the inveterate womanizer, but Chateau apprentices are hard at work battling the scourge of mating market disturbances caused by the grinding and churning of the marriage machine.

But the bigger reason 31-34 yearolds are harder to game than any other age group of women has to do with the wicked nexus of entitlement and self-preservation that occurs at this age in women. When you combine a disproportionate sense of entitlement fueled by years of feminism, steady paychecks and promotions, and cheerleading gay boyfriends with suspicions of every man’s motives and a terrible anxiety of being used for a sexual fling sans marriage proposal, you get a venom-spitting malevolent demoness on guard against anything she might perceive as less than total subjugation to her craving for incessant flattery and princess pedestaling.

Note that Chateau guests aren’t necessarily complaining. A harder-to-game 33 year old is kind of like getting bumped down from a Honda Civic rental but driving off the lot with the consolation prize of a Ferrari.

Listen to any man who is good with women and they will tell you the same thing:

“I have an easier time bedding and dating 23 yearolds than I do 33 yearolds.”

This defies all logic until you see it through the eyes of the hamster sweating its fluffy ass off in a woman’s brain. (Poor little creature must be pooped out by the mid-30s.) Sure, a 33 year old is not as hot as the 23 year old version of herself, but her ASD is through the roof, as is her self-conception as a hot marriage-worthy commodity. Many older women will tell themselves that their experience, maturity, accomplishments and financial stability mean they should be way more valuable to men seeking wives than some young babe on the take. Of course, they have to tell themselves this because reality isn’t making it easy to believe.

These are the kind of women who have sexual flings with college guys, because they can psychologically box those men in as “purely for fun” adventures. But the men the 31-34 year old women really want are the older, established men who will give them a marriage proposal and a family. This is why it is counterintuitively harder to game the older woman who still retains a vestige of her youthful attractiveness: she wants and expects so much more than the younger woman.

Game required: Strong body language, masculine dominance, sharp suits and shoes, easy on the negs and palm reading, emphasis on the comfort stage, lots of travel stories, disqualify yourself from sex on the first date, vulnerability game, avoidance of the beta provider zone.

In short, if you can present yourself to her as different than the indistinguishable mass of sad schlumpy beta herbs who are her typical choice in available men, then you are guaranteed the lay. Just don’t expect to sleep with her on the first night. She will work hard to make your seduction as difficult and drawn out as possible.

Note: DO NOT SPEAK OF THE YOUNGER WOMEN YOU DATE to an older woman. You will be tempted to do this to demonstrate your higher value, but instead she will withdraw so fast into her ego-preserving turtle shell that no game will redeem the pickup. If the subject comes up, just tell her you’ve “dated many interesting women” and leave it at that.

35 yearolds

This age gets a special mention. Why? Because 35 is the year of formal female expiration. (Informal expiration can occur many years later, depending on the woman’s genetic good luck.) At 35, most women are over the hill. An unmarried woman at 35 is officially in crisis mode. Full meltdown will happen within the year if she isn’t hitched in that time. You do not want to be in the vicinity of a woman in full meltdown mode. Full meltdown is accompanied by the acquisition of a second cat, alcoholism, cackling brunches of mimosas with equally pathetic Samantha wannabes, sloppy drunken one night stands with college age men which they will then rationalize as evidence of their enduring beauty, and a laundry list of annoying personality tics and neuroses that would comfortably provide for the retirement plans of ten psychotherapists.

Game required: “Hi”.

36 to 38 yearolds

She is at peace with her spinsterhood and her failure in the dating market. She will acquiesce easily and gratefully to sex with very little game, as long as you don’t look like a grandpa. Her expectations are so low, it will be a challenge to disappoint her.

If you are prone to guilt, you might feel it when you inevitably dump a woman in this age range. Don’t. Remind yourself that her past is littered with her insouciant dumping of many beta men before you. You are merely an alpha agent of righteous karma.

A Chateau proprietor once dated a European 37 year old for a couple of months. She looked years younger than her age, so the sex was fun and the time together was relaxed, but everything was glazed with a tint of sadness. A vow was made never to go much above 30 again. So far, the vow remains unbroken.

39+ year olds

No Chateau proprietor has experience dating or fucking women 39 years old or older, so we cannot offer much advice for gaming women in this age range. Yes, yes, we can all hear you crying now.

THE WALL

the wall [thuhwawl] -noun: 1. a large, immovable monolith of frightening and awesome power capable of threshing egos and rending souls, serving as a metaphorical stoppage point at the intersection between a woman’s declining sexual attractiveness and her advancing years, beyond which female sexual desirability disappears into the misty void.

FuturePundit has a post uphighlighting a scientific study which concludes, most depressingly, that by age 30 only 12% of a woman’s eggs remain.

Tom Kelsey, a Senior Research Fellow at the School of Computer Science at St Andrews, said, “Previous models have looked at the decline in ovarian reserve, but not at the dynamics of ovarian reserve from conception onwards. Our model shows that for 95% of women, by the age of 30 years, only 12% of their maximum ovarian reserve is present, and by the age of 40 years only 3% remains.

This is a surprise even to me. I knew there was a significant drop-off in female fertility by age 30, but I didn’t know it was this precipitous. I find this news depressing, because female fertility and sexual attractiveness closely parallel; allowing for a few lag years for the outer shell to catch up to the inner biology, the number of viable eggs a woman has remaining directly correlates with the number of years she has left as a highly coveted product on the sexual market. That is, when a woman has a full basket of eggs she is at her most beautiful. When she has dwindled to 50% eggs left, she is desirable to only half the men she was capable of attracting for short and, particularly, long term relationships when she was at her beauty prime. And when she is down to 3% eggs at age 40, she can only attract 3% of the men she used to attract for long term investment when she was peaking at, typically, age 20. And what’s worse, those 3% of men are the leftover omega dregs with no other options whom she turned down when she was a hotter commodity.

Personally, as a man who has no desire to have kids, the number of remaining eggs a woman has left is of no concern to me other than as an abstract matter. But a woman’s beauty is of paramount concern to me, and as such it would happen that, through the use of my infallible divining boner rod, my very selective screening procedures against women showing signs of physical decay would necessitate that I avoid dating women with less than 50% eggs in their basket. So far, this is how it has worked out, and I’ve mostly game and a devilish smile to thank for that.

This saddens me. Why? I will explain. Anything, any uncontrollable force, that strips beauty from the world is my enemy. How much grander and pleasurable life if women stayed beautiful for 100 years instead of a precious 15 years? How much love would my heart shout at the world if the pool of beautiful women was every woman, everywhere, forevermore, and not just a small sliver of women with power so fleeting it may as well be a curse than a blessing? Imagine this world, and tell me then how you keep the demons of hate from lashing impudently and futilely against the natural order of things. I say fuck the natural order. Bring on the life and beauty extending tamperings of human ingenuity. Get off your knees, you limp-noodled gaiaists and blithely stoic servants of religion, you philosophical naives and self-deluded sophists. Turn the tables and bring your evolutionary inheritance to its knees, if you dare.

More evidence for the wall comes from a Japanese study showing that there is a real “tipping point” in aging, or a “hitting the wall” effect, where a woman’s natural biological ability to rejuvenate herself and stay toe to toe with the ravages of aging slips into freefall at age 35, much younger than previously thought.

‘While some measurements showed a gradual decline, cheek volume – one of the key factors in a youthful appearance – can drop off suddenly, by as much as 35 per cent in a year,’ he says.

Naturally, there are some women whose stress-inducing lives of stripping, smoking, slutting, and single motherhood age them much faster than their actual years. These are truly tragic cases, for they have thrown away their most precious asset for instant gratification.

In other news, the new HBO documentary “Youth Knows No Pain” was pretty good. A number of the women interviewed were boldly honest about their declining sexual attractiveness, and the reasons for why they went under the knife to “get a little work done”. One woman even noted that when her friends told her there are plenty of women who look good for their age, like Sophia Loren, she responded that Sophia Loren is just one woman out of millions who “don’t look so good when they get older”. Found: A woman with a grasp of basic statistical concepts. Alert the media!

Most of the women in the documentary looked like alien-eyed stretchy gumbo toys, but a couple did actually look pretty good, at least ten years younger than their ages. At some point, the science is going to have to dispense with the scalpel and start rejuvenating under the hood, fixing the problem at its source using stem cells or some other form of cellular manipulation. I can’t wait for matrix-like abortion mills to be constructed to help my harem stay young and sexy for as long as possible.

TIME TO BOREDOM

There are two reasons men get bored with women: Intellectual incompatibility and beauty incompatibility. The less mentally stimulating or aesthetically stimulating a woman is to a man, the quicker he will grow bored with her and throw his worm back into the waters for nibbles from new fish. Which of these two factors controls a larger portion of a man’s interest? Beauty, clearly, and especially so in the critical first few months, but assuming a threshold for acceptable beauty is met intellectual attraction or lack thereof serves to capture a man’s interest beyond the three-month mark. If neither the beauty nor intellectual threshold of attraction is crossed, a man will get bored after the first ejaculation. If both are met, a man is susceptible to the woman’s ploys to entrap him into marriage.

Beauty and intellectual compatibility are relative to the man’s dating market value. If the man is a 9, he will need a woman who is a 9 or 10 in beauty, and no less than 10 IQ points lower than his own, if he is to avoid getting bored with her after a month or two. Although I’ve known plenty of people whose wit, charm, and humor belied their average IQs, I will use IQ in this post as a rough proxy for intellectual and personality compatibility. For purposes of discussion, I’ll set aside the few exceptions where the IQ of the partners is equal but their interests are so contrary that boredom becomes a manifestation of despising the other person’s hobbies.

What follows is a handy chart illustrating Time To Boredom for the average man (male dating value rank = 5 on a scale of 0 – 10 inclusive) based on the two critical variables of female beauty and IQ. Note that Time To Boredom is a relative value that will, on average, occur much sooner for a high ranking man than it would for a low ranking man. It is conceivable, in fact, that a male 10 will get bored with every woman he meets within hours if he doesn’t have mistresses to take up the slack in his attention span, while a male zero might take years to get bored of a female zero, although in the latter case the boredom might be just as quickly forthcoming but given the dearth of options available to the male zero he will work hard to keep his boredom and disgust hidden from his ugly partner.

Female IQ is measured against a male baseline of 100.

Female Hotness

Female IQ

Time To Male Boredom

0

+-10 points

1 nanosecond (Neural disgust registers
before conscious awareness)

0

>-10 points

same diff

0

>+10 points

same diff

1

+-10 points

1 millisecond (time to retinal burn)

1

>-10 points

irrelevant

1

>+10 points

1 millisecond to boredom + annoyance

2

+-10 points

1 second

2

>-10 points

1 minute (male inspired to
ridicule the dummy)

2

>+10 points

1 minute (male inspired to
ridicule the nerd)

3

+-10 points

5 minutes (male tries to find
redeeming quality)

3

>-10 points

3 minutes (male fails at finding
redeeming quality)

3

>+10 points

6 minutes (takes male extra minute to
realize she’s ugly thanks to her

4

+-10 points

1 hour (male wants same night lay)

4

>-10 points

1/2 hour (male wants same hour lay)

4

>+10 points

2 hours (males wants same night lay
with talky talky chick)

5

+-10 points

5 weeks (bloom off the rose after
third bang)

5

>-10 points

3 weeks (pillow talk excruciating)

5

>+10 points

4 weeks (male charmed, then annoyed,
by chick’s nerdiness)

6

+-10 points

3 months (best he’s ever had,
but still not that good)

6

>-10 points

2 months (her hobby is beer pong)

6

>+10 points

2.5 months (emasculated by her
sharp tongue)

7

+-10 points

1 year (a beta’s heaven)

7

>-10 points

9 months (tard kills boners dead)

7

>+10 points

1.5 years (male inspired by her,
but relationship unstable)

8

+-10 points

5 years (even a beta will get tired
of sex with same hottie)

8

>-10 points

5 years (she’s too hot to care
about tardness)

8

>+10 points

5 years (she’s too hot to care
about nerdiness)

9

+-10 points

30 years (beta suffers seizure from
constant stream of endorphins)

9

>-10 points

30 years (she’s too hot to notice
tardness)

9

>+10 points

30 years (she’s too hot to notice
much of anything except
how hot she is)

10

+-10 points

forever (entered realm of unreality)

10

>-10 points

forever + 1 (tardness means she can’t
tell he’s a beta)

10

>+10 points

forever -1 (one day, she uses big word
that renders him impotent)

As you can see, it is almost guaranteed that men of every status rank will grow bored with their girlfriends, dates, wives, fuckbuddies without an external injection of groinal stimulation. There is only one way a man can delay Time To Boredom:

QUALITY VS QUANTITY, FORMULA VERSION

Ah, that perennial conundrum. That gavel of masculine judgment. Does the quality or the quantity, or both, of women that a man beds determine his alpha mojo? The hosts have graciously elaborated on this topic in the past, which should have been the final word, but not all of the world’s 7 billion people have yet stayed a night at the Chateau to wake in the morning infused with the knowledge of the Celestials.

Any guy who claims to have game but picks up hundreds of circus freaks a year will be a laughingstock. And the boastful guy with few notches who claims to know everything about women because he’s been dating his cute high school sweetheart his whole life will similarly be mocked.

To put it in logical terms easily grasped by the aspies among us (first number in each series refers to penis-in-vagina notch count unless otherwise noted; second number refers to female attractiveness rating on a 0-10 scale):

Stiff autumn breeze <more alpha than> 100 0s

Unlubed masturbation <more alpha than> 100 hundred 1s <more alpha than> 200 0s

Couch crease <more alpha than> 100 2s <more alpha than> 200 1s <more alpha than> 300 0s

Lubed masturbation <more alpha than> 100 3s <more alpha than> 200 2s <more alpha than> 300 1s <more alpha than> 400 0s

Barely legal porn-assisted masturbation <more alpha than> 100 2s <but less alpha than> 100 3s over a two month time span

Handjob by a 4 <more alpha than> 10 3s

Blowjob by a 4 <more alpha than> 15 3s

Chandelier swinging, titty fucking, throat gagging, motorized defiling, publicly violating, video recorded facialized money shotting, post-coital sammich making, never see her again sex with a 4 <more alpha than> 50 missionary style 3s

Fleeting glance from a 10 <more alpha than> 100 1s

Handjob by a 10 <more alpha than> 1,000 1s

Blowjob by a 10 <more alpha than> 10,000 1s

Sex with a 10 <more alpha than> 100,000 1s

Anal sex with a 10 <more alpha than> Infinity 1s

100 5s <more alpha than> 100 4s <more alpha than> 500 3s

50 6s <more alpha than> 100 5s

40 7s <more alpha than> 100 6s

30 8s <more alpha than> 100 7s

10 9s <more alpha than> 100 8s

1 10 <more alpha than> 3 9s

LTR with a 10 <more alpha than> one night of sex with a 10 <more alpha than> LTR with an 7

One night of sex with a 9 <more alpha than> Rotating harem of multiple LTRs with 100 5s and 6s <more alpha than> One night stands with 1,000 4s

LTR with a 0 <more alpha than> Nothing

Serial LTRs with 5 10s <more alpha than> One night stands with 100 9s <more alpha than> Lifelong monogamous LTR with an 8

Unmarried, cohabiting, child-free, sex-gorged LTR with an 8 <more alpha than> Once-a-month married sex with a 9 <more alpha than> Once-a-day married sex with a 7

Unmarried, commitment-free, responsibility-absolved, sex-on-demand with a cast of 1,000s of faithful 10s wearing kneepads and schooled in the culinary arts <more alpha than> The universe

***

So, if you have ass-banged one 10 in your life, you have equivalent bragging rights to the guy who has banged every 1 in the world.

If you have effortlessly banged 10,000 1s, you have less bragging rights than the guy who has gotten one (freely given) blowjob from a 10. If you needed to expend huge effort to bang those 10,000 1s, you have less bragging rights than the guy who stuck it in a couch crease for quick relief.

If you have inspired a 6 to want a relationship with you, you have more alpha bragging rights than the guy who has inspired 10 4s to spread their legs for him.

Where it gets blurry is in the plain middle of the beauty arc. A guy who banged one 6 technically will be more alpha than the guy who banged two 5s, but at those fine gradations, who’s really keeping tabs? That’s where the Template will influence the grading curve and make distinctions harder to delineate.

Ultimately, the essence of alpha maledom all comes down to inspiring beautiful women to, first and foremost, desire your poundage, and then to desire your continual poundage, and finally to desire your love. If you can seduce a hot babe into bed multiple times, then seduce her into love, and then do this same thing with many hot babes over the course of your life, you are an alpha male, no matter what else you have or have not accomplished in your life. Many will balk at this, but that doesn’t change its truth.

WRAPPED AROUND HIS FINGER

We talk a lot about alpha males here, and their mysterious pull on women. We discuss their attributes, their attitude and their game, and how and why it works to vibrate vaginas all across the land. But sometimes the weight of theory can deaden the senses, and it helps to have a real-life, flesh and blood exemplar of alphaness staring you in the face to bring that theory down to solid earth, where you can see and hear it all from your personal first-person view. In that spirit, I will relay a moment in time from my life so that you can feel like you’re stepping in my shoes and witnessing it yourself.

I was at a large social event (the more astute readers will be able to figure out the type of event from details in this post) and was seated at a table with mostly women — all in their mid to late 20s — and a couple of men. As a keen observer of sexual dynamics, the rapport between one of the men and his girlfriend was especially entertaining to me.

She was completely enamored of him, leaning against him, smiling at him (and when she wasn’t smiling she was “smizing” at him– smiling with her eyes), touching him on his hands and arms and shoulders and thighs, blushing periodically when he deigned to smirk at her (which wasn’t often), flattering him, imperceptibly nudging her chair closer to his, nuzzling into his man-nook where pec meets armpit, gazing up at his face (and I do mean UP, as she would deliberately arch her back and neck so that her body was compressed in the vertical and he was looming over the top of her head), defending him when her girl friends were challenging him on something he said, and, best of all, apologizing profusely for imagined slights that she believed she had accidentally committed against him. When she spoke, either to him or to others in his company, she sounded, not to put too fine a point on it, like a ditz. Yes, she was doing all this in front of about ten people, some total strangers to her.

For his part, he was behaving and speaking in almost the exact opposite manner as his girlfriend. He would sit straight, neither leaning away nor into her, would speak in a heavy and deep monotone, would rarely smile (and when he did it was always a half-assed “yeah i’m the douchebag you wish you were” effort), would only touch her when he was reaching around to grab her ass for a makeout, seemed oblivious to her cloying flattery, effected an air of imperturbable indifference, showed little outward signs of affection for her except for the one time I caught sight of them absconding to what they thought was a private location, occasionally spoke ill of her even to the point of insulting her, never complimented her, looked straight ahead in the middle distance when she complimented him, never said “thank you” or “excuse me”, never excused or “forgave” her when she was excessively apologizing to him (in fact, he seemed to relish her clumsy supplication), would sometimes insult her friends right in front of her, would often command (not ask) her to get him a drink, and, best of all, flirted with other hot girls at the table.

There was a telling moment of the nature of their relationship early in the night. She was giddy and excitable as she laughed with her girlfriends and some new arrivals, when it suddenly dawned on her that she had neglected to promptly introduce her boyfriend to everyone. (And by promptly, I mean not more than three seconds had passed before she caught herself in this supposed irredeemable faux pas.) Red-faced, she humbly corrected herself.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” she pleaded as she looked at him. “I’m so sorry! So sorry! I forgot to introduce you to everyone! Everyone, this is [name], my boyfriend.” Now semi-whispering to him, “Sorry, baby! Sorry.”

His facial expression remained unmoved. A powerful pause heightened the awkwardness before he answered. “Don’t worry about it. I got it.” He then nods in the direction of the others.

His vocal tone and expression are important here. It was not consolingly beta, where the pitch rises on “worry” and descends to a loving shoulder rub on an elongated “I got it”, as his eyes crinkle at the corners in reassurance. Nope, it was more like a staccato, Draper-esque, punch to the face, flatly delivered, emotionless except for a hint of contempt, which was noticeable in the way he commandeered the drama by addressing the table himself and refusing to glance at her as she effused with apologia.

I watched admiringly. The other man at the table glanced at his feet nervously. The girls were a mix of hatred and arousal.

This guy was the flawless encapsulation of the jerk. The dick. The narcissistic prick. All together now…

The Asshole Hot Chicks Love.

And she? She was the hot chick who loves an asshole. Every mannerism, word and body shift — right down to the tiniest facial tic — telegraphed her absolute devotion — her ADDICTION — to her jerk boyfriend.

Now some of you will parry with the usual gripes. But before you do, know the following:

She graduated from a top-tier Ivy. Her degree is in a numbers-related field. She is hot, a hard 8.5. Her body is worthy of a sacrificial fuckening. According to my sources, when she isn’t with her alpha-squared asshole boyfriend, she is one of the smartest, most put-together and confident girls in a room. The ditz act, apparently, only blossoms in his presence. Her girl friends are jealous of her even though they hate what she becomes when she’s with him. And the blow that I know will sting beta males the worst? She COULD have almost any man she wanted — good men, solid company men, respectable men of their communities — but she chooses to be with an arrogant renegade.

And him? Decent looking. Easy on the eyes, I suppose most women would say. Certainly not Hollywood looks. Not a big or muscular guy. Lean to the point of skinny. Edgy, downscale style. (She showed up at this event poured into an exquisite cocktail dress. He arrived late with her, wearing frayed designer jeans and an untucked tight flannel shirt over a white Hanes wifebeater that was showing through the top. Most of the other men were wearing suits.) He was short. Yes, he might have been a half inch shorter than his gf. Unemployed.

You read that right. He lost his [redacted] industry job six months ago and was living off her earnings. He has money, but he doesn’t spend it because, as he explained to me, he’s saving it for a few years of fun-time travel. Whether he intends her to go with him or not is left to interpretation.

None of this is new to me. I’ve met guys like him before. I’ve *been* that guy plenty of times, when the mood strikes. I’m intimately familiar with the adoring love copping such a grotesque asshole alpha attitude inspires in women. There is no escaping that this is a reality of female sexual nature, a powerfully harsh reality that sends shockwaves of disbelief and disillusion through the more tenderhearted of the inexperienced idealists. Some learn from what they see behind the curtain; others cocoon further into self-medicating platitudes.

And what about the spectators? What did the men and women in attendance think of him, both those who knew and knew of him? From what I could glean, the men were largely neutral. Some hated him (usually the biggest betas with overbearing girlfriends), some liked him (maybe not surprising, the alphas and the omegas were affable toward him), and most were willing to throw him under the bus in furtive conversation at the behest of their gossipy girlfriends.

More pertinently, how did the women — all of them well-educated urbanite professionals — feel about him? In his company, they were girlish and borderline shy, or self-conscious. Behind his back, they were disparaging, complaining bitterly of the way he treats his girlfriend (bitterness was correlated with their closeness to her), and constantly — I mean CONSTANTLY — working to install his ouster. I saw one girl drag her away so that she could introduce her to a man who, unknown to her at the time, was a handsome gay man.

If you held any doubts that girl friends will not conspire against you should they find you unacceptable boyfriend material for their friend, well… you can put those doubts to rest now.

Of course, none of their efforts worked in the least. He had been dating his girlfriend for many years, during which time he has cheated on her for months at a stretch with more than one woman. His cheating, his aloof treatment of her, her friends’ disproval… none of it seemed to have dampened her love for him. Or her loyalty to him, for as I learned from a trusted source, she never, not once in the sumptuous prime of her life when she had every excuse and rationale to do so, cheated on him.

Remember that the next time you hear of some whiny ho cheating on her beta boyfriend, and rationalizing it by blaming it all on him.

The professed hate the girls had for this asshole boyfriend of one of their friends, and the wet glower in their eyes when they spoke of him, belied a primitive attraction. It was not the impassioned hate a man has for another man who has humiliated him, or the withering hate a woman has for a weak ex-lover who now repulses her. When I heard them talk about him, their words ostensibly carried a payload of anger and disgust, but it was a gossamer veneer; to a hardened pro of female codespeak like myself, the dulcet harmonies of untamed curiosity sent their words aloft on a stanza of gina tingles. Listen closely, and you can hear the subliminal poetry asserting itself — “ode to why oh why do i hate this guy but feel like i do?”

Interestingly, there was one girl, a looker in every way and smart as tacks to boot, whose loathing for the asshole boyfriend of her best friend seemed the most genuine. I say “seemed”, because it may merely be the case that she was best at concealing her shameful intrigue. Whatever the true motivation, I found her responses to him the most cutting. She was clearly aiming for the throat, and her eyes pierced like laser beams, her voice cold and still as sheet ice. Lesser men would have suffered a grievous wound from her attacks, for her barbs were sharp and subtle enough to avoid triggering a hen phalanx of social diplomacy. But the asshole deflected her thrusts without breaking a sweat. In the smarts department, he was outclassed, but in the attitude department he had her number.

Why did I find this dynamic the most interesting? Background helps. She was dating a considerably older man who was not present at this event, an alpha male in his own right, for many years. Perhaps, intimate familiarity with her own alpha braces her for the abyss that always looms ominously to eternally capture a woman’s heart should she become completely unguarded. She sees in the asshole boyfriend of her friend the power the alpha male has over all female sense and reason, and she wants to put him on notice. It is her redemption.

More interesting, she alone among all the girl friends never consoled her smitten friend, never attempted to introduce her to new men, and never assuaged her ego by telling her she could do better. She was smart enough to know those kinds of interventions have no effect and, worse, usually result in the opposite of what was intended. There’s an unwritten rule among very high-value women who date alpha males — the hate is for show. No woman would seriously give up the pleasure she gets from dating the alpha jerks she loves. They’d all poach each other’s boyfriends given half the chance, and they know it.

3 GAME: MINDSET

STATE OF MIND

I loved that he was so powerful i was nothing.

– O

What is it that separates those select few men from all the rest? The ones who seemingly have no trouble getting pussy when they want and how they want it? The ones who wield illimitable power to inflame the desires of women?

The key to their power is not money or sports cars or beach houses or post graduate degrees or 50 inch plasma TVs or chocolate covered strawberries on a bed of rose petals or any of that shit. All of that is incidental and is only important to the extent that it improves your state of mind. No, the real source of this power is already within you. It is how you SEE YOURSELF. It is your decision to move through the world without apology, to set aside complaining for decisive action, to let your brass balls do your talking for you.

The quintessential masculine quality women can’t resist is SUPREME UNSHAKEABLE CONFIDENCE. You can be poor, out of shape, stupid, unemployed, addicted to drugs, and meet every one of society’s standards for LOSERNESS but if you radiate those confident vibes that say you are PERFECTLY FUCKING PLEASED WITH YOURSELF you will get laid ALL THE TIME. And the kinds of girls who get wet for such men aren’t just bar sluts. Smart women, women with high self-esteems and MBAs and, yes, even — ESPECIALLY — HARDCORE FEMINISTS will crave the cock of the man who exudes such power and happily take it IN THE FACE and UP THE ASS if it means he will grace her with the pleasure of his company for a little while longer.

THIS is the kind of power that matters. FUCK the normal rules. You make the rules now. They tell you to give give GIVE till it hurts, to do your duty and throw yourself in the blood-soaked grinding gears of the Korporate Akademia Kredentialist Krell Machine in service to society’s great gaping maw and then maybe… MAYBE… one day you’ll be lucky enough to get chained for life to some mediocre pussy and infrequent, tepid sex, whereupon you will work yourself tirelessly to the bone shuffling your ungrateful brats through one societal sacramental rite of passage after another feeding the endless, insatiable hunger of the machinery of the state. And they will pat you on the head for your devotion to the cause with lateral promotions and certificates of exemplary service and announcements in the wedding pages of the local paper and a brand new set of steak knives.

FUCK

THAT

NOIZE.

There’s a dirty little secret they don’t want you to know. And everyone is in cahoots, from the alphas to the betas to the keepers of the vagina. It is this: You don’t need to play by their rules to get what you want! Women will still FLOCK to you if you shit all over everything you were taught you needed to do to earn their love as long as you do it with STYLE and UNWAVERING BOLDNESS and a TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT attitude. Because the simple truth is that the right attitude counts for more than all the material possessions in the world.

The POWER is in your head.

THE NATURAL’S DILEMMA

The Natural — the man who has a seemingly otherworldly ability to entrance women. The Natural — not the CEO, nor the jet fighter, nor the doctor — is the man most men secretly admire and wish they had some of his mysterious mojo.

But in reality he does not possess any magical abilities out of reach of ordinary men. The Natural is similar to the self-taught pickup artist, with the critical distinction being that the former assimilated the lessons of love earlier in life. His masterstrokes paint the canvas of women effortlessly because he has been in training since he first noticed that girls and boys are different. If you break down the game of Naturals, you’ll learn that their maneuvers and tactics and strategies, far from being indefinable essences that only a very few lucky can lay claim to, are in fact identical to the blueprints of learned game.

Neither is the Natural necessarily good-looking. Many Naturals, perhaps most of them, are nondescript in the looks department. But because there is good reason to think a lot of them have inherited the Dark Triad suite of personality traits, they are skilled at presenting themselves in a way that projects their sex appeal, or invents it whole cloth, if need be.

No, what the Natural has that mere mortals don’t is this: UNSTOPPABLE CONFIDENCE. They had the ALPHA ATTITUDE at a young enough age that it became ingrained to such an extent they rarely yield to the temptation to doubt their appeal to women.

But the Externally Validated Natural who has spent a lifetime leaning on his looks/social connections/fame to get laid has a dilemma. As a reader puts it:

I’ve said it many times before, the most pathetic thing in the world is a natural who has lost his mojo.

The very blessing that makes The Natural an early adopter ladykiller is the curse that hobbles him later in life when challenges arise that introduce cracks to his impenetrable edifice of entitlement. You see, the Externally Validated Natural has not bothered to learn the crimson arts. He has not mastered the state control that is necessary when inevitable dry spells occur, or when glances from women are fewer and farther between, or when uppity women with visions of mcmansion upgrades dancing in their heads give him shit he is not accustomed to receiving. He has never studied how to remain aloof and indifferent in the face of female fickleness because he has rarely experienced what life is like as a beta male who must battle to be loved, rather than watching love fall in his lap like autumn leaves.

The Natural who understands on a more than superficial level the nature of women, and who has a working familiarity with game concepts, is a force ten charmer. Most Naturals don’t; they do the right things without knowing how or why they do them. When success eludes them and the expected warmth from women is missing, they are left with nothing, no storehouse of knowledge or pride of past successes achieved through self-aware hard work, to pull them up from a dangerous downward spiral into the betatude they never quite understood either.

PERSISTENCE: THE UNDERRATED ALPHA MALE QUALITY

At a social gathering with friends and lovers, I witnessed an attempted pickup unfold between an alpha male and a cute girl. We were a merged group of three girls and two men, including myself, and everyone there was known to me in more than a passing fashion. (I use the term “alpha male” as shorthand to describe the constellation of personality traits he possessed which gave him an advantage in the mating market. He is not a particularly good-looking man, but I suspect most girls would say he is at least not hard on the eyes.)

The girls with me knew that said alpha male was single and looking, (ladies, we’re ALWAYS looking), and pow-wowed with each other to find a third girl they knew to be single as well for a possible alpha male-cute girl love copulation. Apparently, not only do girls want alpha males for themselves, they also want them for their friends. It’s that primeval female harem-managing mentality rising to the fore.

One of the girls briefly absconded to another room and returned with a girl friend in tow who she wished to introduce to the alpha male. (I love using these terms because I know how much it chafes the asses of the right sorts of people.) The third girl was in transit to another subgroup, and her slightly puzzled look suggested that she did not know why she was being pulled over. After a round of hellos, I watched and listened, from as sly a vantagepoint as I could muster under the circumstances, the conversation that ensued between the alpha male and the cute girl summoned to unwittingly participate in his machinations.

She looked him over as he began speaking, and I could tell there lacked any sort of insta-spark of delight at his physical countenance. Nevertheless, a man does not become an alpha male by abandoning all women who don’t instantly take a shine to his looks. For the first minute or two, she would periodically glance at the girl friend to my side with that “why don’t you join in on this conversation so that I can impatiently slip away like a thief in the night” eye squeeze that women are so naturally adept at executing.

But then a funny thing happened on the way to a certain, subtle SWPL rejection where all feelings are spared in the most sadistic manner possible: the vibe turned in his favor. I can’t tell you the exact moment of redemption, but I can say that the energy between them got a boost in the second or two after he dropped what can only be charitably described as a couched insult.

“Well at least you’re still in your heels. Most girls like you are trading in for flats at this hour.”

Her head snapped back. She was at full attention. Gone was the exasperated sideways glance for a rescuer, replaced by flushed indignation that is the telltale mark of blood pipelined directly between the hamster and the vagina. A few hollow protests to the contrary notwithstanding, she fell quickly into his orbit and they were off to the races. He had pricked her safe and secure but ultimately flimsy bitch bubble, and she could not be happier for it.

Now some of your readers are sure to lay the credit for his success on that convo-refueling neg which slices and dices bland boring expectations like aginsu. You’d only be partly right in your assumptions. You see, the neg was really just a culmination of something else, some other ineffable quality, that alpha males have in mass quantities: persistence.

Not that cringing, awkward, pushy, socially uncalibrated persistence that a few oddly aggressive beta and omega males employ, but the calm, controlled, almost serene persistence that doesn’t spook girls and which signals a strong, dominant masculinity that women crave. It might be more precise to call it “steadiness” rather than persistence.

The alpha male at this function knew she wasn’t immediately into him. The way he handled this “setback” wasn’t to slink away like a defeated herb, or pump up the volume in a desperate last gasp maneuver to capture her attention. He wasn’t implicitly apologetic for the convo lull (as if it was his responsibility to keep everyone entertained), nor was he giving any outward sign that he felt any pressure to perform.

He simply stayed rooted at his spot, never wavered in his eye contact, maintained a neutral vocal cadence, and never stupidly smiled to occupy dead air as so many less confident men are wont to do. He just kept… listening. And talking. And raising a single eyebrow. And leading the topic of discussion. And refraining from showing any discomfort with her feints to escape his company.

And that was how he won her. Slow and steady and persistent and unshakeable. His body language and unperturbed social grace was the foundation upon which she was able to lean for evidence of alpha maleness. The neg was only icing on his seductive cake. The best time to drop a neg is when it is least expected, not when it is obviously a craven effort to “win over” an intransigent girl. For him, the neg was an adjunct that complimented his entire game repertoire.

The alpha male is both aloof and persistent. His aloofness is more a vague impression that flows from his attitude, and his persistence is a dagger that sneaks up on women and chips away at their coyness. When you can finally grasp that seeming contradiction and apply it in real social interactions, your game will have matured immeasurably.

Never listen to man-haters aka feminists who claim that women don’t like persistent men. They do. Women love persistent men who are persistent from a position of want, not need. Women don’t love the idea of persistence because they associate it, perhaps justifiably, with overly aggressive meatheads throwing themselves at random vaginas during garbage hour. But now you know that there is better way to be persistent. And that you are doing honor to your alpha male ancestors by pursuing that scared little bunny to the farthest corners of the warren, instead of turning tail the first time the bunny hops away a few feet from your swiping paws.

INNER GAME

I have a friend who is very self-critical. When we go out to meet girls he will handicap his game by being too hard on himself. When he isn’t weaseling out of approaching girls with every excuse in the book he is projecting an overly attentive vibe when he does manage to enter a set. In the field, I’d often hear him say:

“I wonder if she got my jokes?”

“I hope I didn’t come off as too needy.”

“She’s probably looking for a different type of guy.”

Poor inner game — what is known by other jargon as your state of mind or your self confidence — is inwardly directed. Good inner game is outwardly directed. It’s the difference between berating yourself for not winning over others and berating others for not winning over you. The men who are naturally good with women live outside their minds — they are externally focused. The downside is that they are usually not very introspective, but who cares about that shit when you’re getting pussy? Introspection is for dainty young women in sundresses picking buttercups in meadows.

If my friend had good inner game what he would have said is:

“She loses points for not having a good sense of humor.”

“She’s the kind of girl who hides her insecurity behind aloofness.”

“I’ll chat with her to see if she’s the type of girl I want in my life.”

I hear a lot of talk about how Game routines are going stale, and chicks see right through them. In fact, the problem isn’t typically with the routines, it’s with the confidence and congruence in which they are delivered. If your inner game isn’t solid then what you present to the outside world won’t match what you are feeling inside. Your inner game is reflected through your body language and voice tone, so however clever your routines they will strike a false note if you don’t internalize the confidence you are trying to portray. You will betray yourself with negative thinking.

Fake it till you make it means faking that internal confidence as well as the external behavior. This is not as hard as it sounds. Every time you feel self-doubt and talk yourself into inaction, yell “Stop!” out loud, and your brain will reboot. You then consciously reframe your thought processes to put the burden of approval seeking on those around you. With good inner game you can say just about any ridiculous routine and the girl will be intrigued.

The most important change in thinking you can make:

You are not there to win over women, they are there to win over you.

Keep saying this over and over until you begin to believe it. You are re-wiring yourself. Don’t worry about the truth or falsity of it. That’s irrelevant.

The beauty of this system is that it turns the seduction template on its head. Co-opting a woman’s natural choosiness and making yourself the chooser instead of the chosen is extremely attractive to women. Because it hardly ever happens this way, women will happily strive to win the approval of a man who is clear in his words and his actions that he is judging them for worthiness of his attention, and not the other way around.

ARE UGLY WOMEN NECESSARY AS STEPPING STONES?

Alert: Intrapickup squabble!

Is it true that an aspiring womanizer — or even a typical man in a billowy button-down who wants to improve his love life — must pay his dues with ugly women before he can achieve the goal of banging hotter women? The question hints at a significant fault line in current pickup thinking, precisely because it throws into stark relief the ego-shattering human impulse to judge men based on the quality of women they pull.

I’ll paraphrase a reader’s objections, who asked not to be directly quoted:

Roosh’s idea that you have to bang a lot of unattractive women to get hotter women is not persuasive. What helps is getting laid regularly, which doesn’t necessarily require cutting your teeth on ugly chicks. You only need one woman to get laid regularly, so such a strategy obviates the need to fill up your notch post with lots of uglies and plain janes. Ideally, your “regular lay” should be in the 6 to 8 range, but if you’re a newbie you may have to start with 4s and 5s. Picking up large numbers of less attractive women may give you experience with logistics and help with honing your routines, but that is the relatively easy part of game. Getting laid regularly, even if it’s with one woman, is all a man needs to step up to the next higher beauty class.

My opinion on this matter falls somewhere between Roosh’s and the anonymous reader’s takes. Roosh is entirely correct to note that men who use the “I have standards” excuse are, more often than not, men who aren’t living up to their professed high standards. It’s similar in spirit to the internet nerd sour grapes syndrome, in which hot chicks that are unavailable to them are deemed unworthy of their loving nerd attention because of some ridiculously trivial flaw, like pointy elbows.

Roosh is also onto something when he advocates for having flexible standards. If 8s and above are all you will deign to approach, then there are going to be times and places when and where you will endure some long, tough dry spells, and this is especially true if you are an average guy with average game and above average horniness. Unless you have rock solid inner game and unshakeable confidence that enables you to weather extended down times without losing your pickup magic or your aura of charismatic fuckability, those dry spells will hurt your interactions with women. Like dogs can smell fear, women can smell celibacy.

The reader suggests that the ideal route for men to take to avoid sexless purgatory while keeping the ladder-climbing option open is to gun for the decent-looking regular lay. This allows a man to avoid the dispiritment that accompanies fucking too many uglies while also sparing him the stink of celibacy that erodes confidence and spooks hot chicks.

And that’s where I part company with Roosh and favor the life strategy of the anonymous reader. Fucking uglies, in even small quantities and in temporary bouts, risks flirting with depression and slumping into a long-term rut. I don’t come by this view speculatively. I have some real world trials by trolls from which to evangelize. I’ll give you an example I’m thinking of from years ago:

I had spent a few weeks fucking a 5. It was only four bang sessions, but that was enough to alter my self-perception and mood. I had gone through a bad breakup and she (the 5) presented herself, fortuitously, almost immediately after the final severance from my ex. She was friendly and sweet, and open to meeting someone. I gamed her but hardly needed more than my first wave artillery; she melted quickly. She had a good body, so despite her plain face the sex was good. But I couldn’t help notice it was not as good as sex with hotter women.

Just at the point I was getting the full measure of my single man’s confidence back, the 5 conveniently left town, rescuing me from the awkwardness of a messy dumping I knew had to be done. However, upon leaving, the sexless rut began to reappear. Two weeks went by with no acceptable nibbles on my penile line. A buddy who was a wingman at the time suggested I meet up with a girl he had failed with himself as a sort of friendship offering in difficult times.

“You’ll really like this girl. She’s totally your type. A solid 8. Very hot, blonde.”

“Oh yeah? If she’s so hot, why aren’t you working on her?”

“I did. I got nowhere, but it’s OK, I prefer brunettes. We hang out together. She makes me look good when we go out.”

“So you want me to meet her? Hmm.”

“Yes, you’ll thank me.”

We met, all four of us — me, the “hot blonde 8″, my friend, and his current girlfriend — late at night under cover of a dark lounge. I didn’t know where my friend’s head was, but she was no 8. Yes, she had blonde hair, but that was about where the confirmation of my friend’s powers of observation ended. From what I could glean through the dim club light and my alcoholic haze, she was no better than a 6, and maybe even a 5.

Nevertheless, I was horny, and feeling down. I could use the pickmeup pickherup. We trundled outside, into a cab, and I took her back to my pad. Inside my place, lights at full blast, I was sorely disappointed to realize my friend’s “solid 8″ was a weak 4. I had never fucked a 4 before, and never would again.

Too late to reverse course, and bored into conspiracy, I lamely escorted her into my bed, and quickly swung her into the doggy-style position where exposure to her face would be limited. Her body wasn’t half-bad, but not good enough to compensate; my dick went limp inside her vagina. I imagine that has to be a girl’s worst nightmare; up front rejection in the form of a backturn or a wandering eye is bad enough, but getting rejected in the most softeningly obvious way possible when you are literally giving it everything you’ve got, your womanhood deeply committed… well, that’s gotta sting.

I couldn’t be bothered to make excuses. She dressed and left in silence. My blue mood hardened. I cursed my friend’s taste in women. I took a shower to wash off the dirt that had alighted upon my soul.

Two women, one borderline ugly and the other plain as unsyruped pancakes, in a row and I was done with the idea of it. Their company, however genial and accommodating, did nothing to lift my spirits or gird my confidence. Just the opposite, in fact: I fell deeper into self-flagellation.

One week after the limp-out incident, I hit up a local lounge and met an 8.5 whom I would spend the next five months fucking in gloriously hedonistic abandon. I have yet to share my bed since then with a woman lower than a 6.5. I learned my lesson.

I’m as horny a guy as you’ll find, but I have to admit not so horny that I’ll start rummaging through the 3 and 4 kitchen trash if there’s no four star restaurant available. Maybe that’s a problem of getting laid too regularly — you lose that wall-climbing horniness that would compel you to stick it in the most convenient wet hole. Ugly girls as stepping stones to hotter women sounds good in theory, but in reality sex with them too often — and too often can happen a lot faster than most men realize — is not only a time and energy suck, but a depressive drug that corrodes self-confidence.

Perhaps this feeling — this sex dynamic — varies by race, age and baseline dignity. If so, more power to the guys who don’t mind dumping fucks in seacows and butterfaces. I can’t bring myself to do it, even if it’s all the local talent has to offer. My minimum threshold in women’s looks is 6, under which it becomes almost physiologically impossible for me to complete the bang.

My inner game is strong enough now that I can afford to risk a month or two downtime without getting too rusty or too doubtful of my skills. I would only use an ugly girl who fell below my minimum looks threshold as a stepping stone in the most dire of circumstances, such as if my dry spell extends beyond two months, or I’ve taken to, ahem, “mood enhancers” that give me 24 hour wood.

So you might say that the reader’s strategy is the way to go if you are a high risk for lengthy dry spells, and your game and self-possession aren’t strong enough to carry you through a slump slumming it with ugly chicks. Alternatively, Roosh’s strategy — to skip the “regular lay” girlfriends and just focus on getting laid even if the talent available is not up to snuff — is better if you can’t tolerate any kind of dry spell, if your dick is indiscriminate, and if your game is good enough that regular pickup with little downtime is within the realm of possibility.

TL;DR Don’t make a habit of banging ugly chicks. It can be as bad for your self-confidence as involuntary celibacy.

I ONLY PLAY GAMES WITH GIRLS WHO DESERVE IT

I get this occasionally from some girls I date, usually after they have dumped a major shit test on me and I am forced to respond with advanced game:

“Why does everything have to be a test with you?”

I thought about this and reflected on my history with women. It was partly true. With certain girls I’ve dated, I was in game mode all the time. One girl even said that she knew when I would return her calls because I would always wait the requisite 20 minutes.

Dispiritingly, dogmatic game — press this button, pull that lever — will work as intended. You can never truly BE YOURSELF with women because almost all men being themselves will regress to lounging on the couch in their underwear as long as their basic needs are met. Literally, you could put a feeding tube in a guy’s mouth, a drainage tube up his anus, a playstation controller in his hand, and a girl’s mouth on his cock and he’ll lay there like that until he spontaneously self-combusts.

And women too. Look what happens to women who have totally given up on finding a man — they blow up like whales, wear flip flops all the time, and cut their hair short. When you see a frumpy, charmless, fat woman you know she is BEING HERSELF.

So why do I overgame with some girls and not others? It’s not a looks thing. Some of the prettiest girls I’ve been with were a breeze to handle once in a relationship, even though during the first crucial dates they were the toughest to game. Hot girls tend to frontload their gameplaying, so if you breach their beachhead it’s a clear march to center city.

I think it’s an ego issue, or maybe one of intelligence. Very smart girls are always on the lookout for Machiavellian maneuvers in their men because they do it themselves. The world is our mirror. Combined with a powerful but sensitive ego, a girl like this will be hyperaware of manipulation and deathly afraid of getting hurt. Stephane of Ideagasms calls these types of women (and men) Interrogators — a subspecies of Energy Vampires:

Interrogators are (initially) difficult to detect, because they are perfectionists; These people see the life as a competitive GAME and they are quite masterful when it comes to manipulating others.

Their philosophy? “Life is just a game – You either play by the rules, or you’re a loser.” They see the world as Win/Lose instead of Win/Win. That’s a great metaphor for explaining what Interrogators do to people, because when you spot an Interrogator and try to gently point out what he or she is doing, they too will pretend that they are innocent and that this heavily ingrained and entirely OBVIOUS pattern of behavior does not exist.

Then they will turn around and casually remark that there is something wrong with YOU. They’ll go, “Why would you say that? Why are you so PARANOID, huh?” (Notice they are not really asking a question, but rather, making a statement about you.)

Or they will accuse you of being “too sensitive”… as if *sensitivity* was a bad thing!

MANY of the top “seduction community gurus” are simply INTERROGATORS. This is why they “play the game” and have all sorts of complicated “chess moves” and strategies for interacting with women. They have a HIDDEN AGENDA.

Interrogators ask a lot of rhetorical questions, and often play “Devil’s advocate”. But, the questions they ask are not questions at all! It is their attempt to break down your reality in the form of negative presuppositions about you.

Overgaming can be caustic to forming a relationship with a girl you really like. The best relationships are built on a foundation of sincerity, not mutually assured deconstruction. It’s a tragedy when the couple really like each other and the mutual gaming undermines the potential for a deeper connection. Game and ego-protection will always be a necessary component of any interaction you have with quality women, but it should be relegated to a supplement after a certain amount of bonding has occurred. At some point, you have to open your heart and let the chips fall where they may.

So when I game too much for too long, it’s with the girls who deserve it. If I’m getting shit tested all the time, or she’s in Aloof and Indifferent mode every other day, or I sense that she’s hiding something, I will respond in kind. We calibrate our actions and behavior to match the other person’s.

Women, being the gatekeepers and mate choosers, are responsible for how men strategize to get in their pants and their hearts. If a girl makes it hard for a guy to be sincere by playing Miss Scheming Queen, he will react with more game. If she’s letting him know how much she loves him, he will be real with her.

You get what you give.

Make no mistake, this is not an anti-game screed. Game is absolutely essential in the beginning stages (See: Mystery Method’s A1 – S3) for every women you want to sex, unless your value is so much higher than hers that you can do nothing and she’ll throw herself on your junk. Relationship game is also important to keep the embers burning.

But in time the doubt has to ease and the soul has to breathe. Anything less would be… uncivilized.

IT BUILDS CHARACTER TO REJECT WOMEN

If you are a man who has never rejected a woman for sex or dating, you are doing something wrong. You are, in fact, depriving yourself of one of life’s greatest pleasures and privileges, and avoiding a true test of your masculine mettle.

As we all know by now from the science, from common sense, and from reading my powerful words of genius, the default barter mechanism in the sexual market is female choice, male display. This is a natural consequence of the disparity between the scarcity of eggs and the surplus of sperm. But men are not entirely helpless to actively influence market prices; they choose as well. If men did not choose at all, women would not have evolved an instinct for improving their looks through fashion, makeup, and exercise. If I had to put a number on it, I’d say on average women do 70% of the choosing and men do 30% of the choosing. At the tails, the alpha-iest men do all the choosing and have to beat off their female suitors while the fattest, ugliest women must settle for whatever man will take them. The general trend, though, is upward dating for most women and a few men.

The fact of this mating dynamic explains why turning the tables and exercising male choice is such a powerful psychological game technique for seducing the minds of women. By behaving as if you are actively choosing women, and even occasionally rejecting them, you mimic the natural actions of the top 10% of men whose default mating strategy is choosing from an illimitable source of pussy and wielding the merciless power of sexual rejection.

Maxim #18: The two fundamental propositions upon which all game theory rests are male choosiness and female abundance. All alpha males have these two mindsets in common.

Corollary to the above: Male choosiness and female abundance do not necessarily have to be true for the strategy of behaving as if they are true to be effective at seducing women.

Try to put yourself in women’s shoes. When you are on a date, imagine you are a woman. Think like she would think. Feel like she would feel. Is this girl right for me? Are we compatible? What are her values? I’m just not sure if she’s the one; let’s see what else she has going for her. I need to keep my options open. I’m not ready to make a decision. I really need to be wowed, I wonder if she can do that for me. She seems kind of nervous. Is she dull? Am I out of her league? Damn, she just said something stupid. Maybe she’s not the one.

Keep thinking like this and soon your outward behavior will reflect your inward feelings. Suspend your disbeliefs long enough until they have become unshakeable beliefs. Once you have mastered the mindset of women, you will have mastered women themselves.

Maxim #19: The alpha male thinks and acts more like a woman than a man in matters of seduction. He understands his adversary’s psychology, and uses it to shatter her defenses.

The next time a woman who does not meet your attractiveness standards hits on you, humor her for a bit, lead her on, then politely reject her.

“What are you doing this Friday?”

“Oh, I should tell you I’m seeing someone.”

Do this even if you are hard up. Commanding the power of female/alpha male choosiness will enrich your soul and fortify your ego. You’ll feel bad for the girl for maybe 30 seconds, but the value-boosting afterglow will last for weeks. This is all about long-term thinking. Capture the female essence of sexual choice and make it a part of you.

Girls hitting on you is a rare event for most men, so you’ll need to be more active in your policy of preferential sexual consumerism. As long as you are dating two or more women simultaneously, you should have no qualms rejecting at least one of them for not being up to snuff. Choose one for dismissal and stop calling her for dates. It doesn’t have to be the least attractive chick; in fact, it’s more character-building and alpha-boosting to reject an attractive girl for an odd facial tic or bland personality. If she doesn’t get the hint, be candid and tell her she just isn’t right for you. Women, especially 7s and up, rarely hear this, so it will tear at her soul like the claws and teeth of an army of demons. If you can withstand the brief flicker of guilt and loss of sexual opportunity, her pain of rejection will actually feed your incipient alpha animal spirit, strengthening you, making you tougher, more appropriately detached, and able to clearly see and pursue your self-interest. Through the action of choosiness, your self-worth will skyrocket. And others’ evaluation of your worth will similarly follow.

If you believe there are “better” or more “moral” paths to alphaness, know this: Every alpha male is intimately familiar with the ego-stroking power of sexual choosiness. They have all, good and bad, enlightened and crass, rejected women in one way or another and crushed their souls, often on the flimsiest pretexts. Some are kind enough to dress it up in polite fictions; others are id monsters who flaunt their sexual despotism without regard for social convention or righteous preening. But all have lowered the boom. It goes with the territory.

The more women you reject, the more women will sense your radiating power to inflict pain and loss and subsequently want you. Buttress your inner game by being choosy, and rejecting freely.

HOW TO INURE YOURSELF TO BEAUTIFUL WOMEN

A thinking sort of reader writes:

The hedonistic treadmill concept says you’ll get reduced satisfaction from expanded consumption as you adjust to it. You won’t appreciate a Ferrari if you drive one every day and the same applies to a steak dinner.

When I’m on a winning streak with girls, I feel they all get less hot. I find myself turning my head less often. I see pictures of girls that I thought were flawless and I see flaws. I find myself thinking about other areas of my life. Conversely, when I’m not longer with a girl, and I go into a slump, I find my ex was hotter than I remember.

Girls can definitely tell when a guy is not impressed. I read football practice is often harder than the real game. I’m not sure we’ve invented a way to expose normal guys to beautiful women the same way that Tom Brady and Brad Pitt are exposed. Strippers, porn, movies, etc don’t work since they all work to raise the woman on the pedestal. [ed: correct. there's good exposure and self-limiting exposure. alpha males are exposed to women's desire. johns and gawkers are exposed to women's mercenary indifference.]

I’m thinking a picture gallery of women as they age, or a picture gallery of models without makeup might be a good start.

Definitely something to this. While filet mignon will always taste better than ground chuck, and a hot girl will always be a better lay than an ugly girl, the pleasure that can be extracted from the tastier choices will, with enough familiarity and dopamine receptor scorching, succumb to diminishing returns. (Although it will never bottom out as low as the scant pleasure one receives from cheap cuts of meat or girls.)

The blowback from dopamine-blasted beauty immunity is that all women, even the ones you aren’t fucking, start to seem less desirable, or at least less worthy of sustained effort to earn their interest. And this is how ecologically self-perpetuating alpha males are made:

Maxim #12: The cumulative experience with hot women imbues the womanizer with a genuinely aloof aura that attracts even more women to him.

Corollary to Maxim #12: If you don’t have an adequate amount of aloofness-inducing experience with hot women, act like you do.

Think about when you were, or how you are now, comfortably ensconced in a secure relationship with a girl. Objectively, she’s cute. When you first saw her, your heart leapt upward in sync with your cock.

But damn if you don’t espy that as the days tick by your wandering eye roves wide as the sky.

YOUR TRAINING TO DELIGHT WOMEN

Players and unaffiliated men who labor to pass on the Good Word of Game usually admonish neophytes that borderline uncomfortable numbers of approaches need to be made in order to become proficient at pickup. You’ve got to get out there and talk to more women than you would normally do in the course of a nondescript day.

This message is a good one. You won’t get good at the crimson arts until you’ve put in some real world practice interacting with lots of different women. The exact number is irrelevant; whether it takes you ten or one thousand approaches to improve doesn’t change the undeniable reality that very few men have the ability to go from video gaming malaise to WunderJuan on their first approach.

You could say that the approach mentality, at least during the learning curve stage, is a core principle of game.

There’s one other core game principle that I don’t see mentioned very much, if at all, in the pickup literature. In my view, it’s just as important a principle as approaching girls enough times to trespass beyond your comfort zone. That principle is the “find and foment her flaws” theory.

The idea is simple. Every woman you meet, from friend to love prospect to the barest acquaintance, and every woman who crosses your field of visual inspection, will be subject to your exceedingly judgmental eye. You will search, find and declare to yourself her flaw or flaws. If propriety and privacy allows it, you will verbalize her flaw so that it may become cemented in your wavering cortex and banish all doubt of the flaw’s authenticity. It is a well-kown fact among the big-toothed motivational speaker circuit that saying aloud slogans of self-encouragement or life goals helps the chanter sculpt corporeal heft to his dreams.

So, for example, you see a woman in the mall riding an escalator. Her sundress flounces insouciantly from above you. An incipient boner stirs. But this time, instead of allowing your beta twerpitude the run of your skullcase and straining to catch imagined glimpses of panty, you silence the dork force and, with proud stentorian inner authority, jot a solid mental note of her larger-than-ideal thighs. Safe distance permitting, you might even rumble in a dampened voice to yourself, “Hm, thunder thighs. Too much speckle.”

You will enact this devious scheme for every attractive and not-so-attractive woman who has the misfortune of falling prey to your daggered gaze. Only the obvious sexual market losers of femaledom — the grossly obese, the crassly ugly, the desiccated old — will be exempt, for their flaws are so prominently obscene they need no reminding nor rooting.

What is the purpose of Principle #2? To balance gender sheets?

Certainly, you could argue with strong evidence that women are particularly unforgiving of men’s flaws, in the private if not in the public, being as how they are slaves to a much more powerful hypergamous force that excels at weeding out stellar-lite suitors with extreme prejudice. A little harsh judgment from you is just giving women a taste of the moldy bread they daily give to men.

But, no, that’s not the purpose, as vengefully titillating as that seems. The purpose is purely practical. The finding and fomenting of women’s flaws conditions the beta male mind to accept the attainability of women, and to discard the reflexive sanctification of women. No master seducer who ever lived believed even one woman was unattainable by him, nor that any woman was a flawless vessel of purity. The seducer loves women, but his love is vast enough to revel in women’s flaws. And that is why he wins.

The beta male who conditions himself thus, by his efforts to discover the flaws in women kept hidden to him by the shadow of his turgid lust cast around his vision, will slowly feel the power and the strength of the Attitude, that indomitable voice that rises like the Great Scrotum from the pubic patch and delivers with valedictorian presumption the message that no woman is out of reach or free of exploitable insecurities, the exploiting of which by a savvy man she herself would be ashamed to admit thrills her to the clitbone.

Returning to escalator girl, here are some more examples of flawmobbing.

skewed eyes

narrow hips

rumpled blouse

misshapen boobs

nip/tuck victim

manhands

roo pouch

clown feet

incipient hump

jug ears

wasted calves

bow-legged

flabby arms

pigeon-toed

broad shouldered

excessive peach fuzz

asymmetric nostrils

ETC

I can already hear the gripers. “But I just saw the hottest chick ever and she looked PERFECT! I couldn’t find anything wrong with her.”

There is always something wrong with a girl, no matter how beautiful. You may have to dig a little deeper, but you’ll find her thermal exhaust port with a practiced keen eye. Note that any of the above can easily apply to the hottest girl you have ever seen. That’s the beauty of the flawfinding mission: it unearths the normally overlooked blemishes scattered among a girl’s mien that her general beauty tends to obscure to men. If you socialize with a girl and gain insight into her personality, you have even more data from which to devise withering, silent judgments.

Once you have gotten reliable at noticing and promoting women’s flaws, their beauty will no longer hold such paralyzing power over you. Conditioned to emphasize a woman’s worst and attenuate her best, you will become a cad machine, irresistible to the fairer sex who will react shaken from their stupor by your dispassionate demeanor and feel the threat of your pervasive critical eye with senses aflame.

Maxim #30: Ignore a woman’s flaws at your peril. They are the key to reconfiguring your perception, and thus her attainability.

SCREENING GIRLS

Women choose, men are chosen. This is the basic tenet of evolutionary mate selection. So does this mean there is nothing men can do to put more power in their own hands? Absolutely not. Paradoxically, the role of being chooser has made women susceptible to men acting as the chooser. A man who chooses women, whether in reality or perception, signals he is high value to a woman. This is why schools of seduction teach the importance of “qualifying”. Girls will say they don’t want to be lined up like cattle and chosen by men, but in practice they secretly yearn for a man to have standards and ruthlessly apply them, in the same way they do to men. A woman loves to feel special that her man chose her over other options he had… until he dumps her for a hotter chick.

In light of this fact of female nature, here are some screening tests you could apply to women you are dating. You don’t have to believe in all of your high standards, you just have to act like you do. For instance, I don’t really care if a woman has banged guys in different cities around the world likes to travel, but I qualify her as if this was critically important to my continuing interest in her.

“The last girl I dated was very provincial. I’m a mentally active man who challenges himself, and I can’t be with someone who won’t join me in my adventures. So are you the adventurous type who seeks new experiences?”

She will now be like putty in your hands, insisting she LOVES to travel and enjoys learning about new cultures. Segue into pussy pounding.

Fake your high standards until you are banging enough quality pussy that you have internalized your high standards. At that point, not only will you be dumping chicks for major infractions like lying and dullness and weight gain, you’ll be dumping them for minor things like owning too many shoes.

Examples:

Screening her for anti-marriage beliefs:

You: One thing that’s important to me is that the girl I’m with doesn’t feel pressured to conform to societal expectations. She has her own mind and values her independence. She’s cool with loving, long term relationships that don’t need to be validated by a Justice of the Peace.

Screening her for loathing of children:

You: When you see a cute little kid snotting himself in the mall and rubbing his germs all over everything, what do you think? They’re such a responsibility that saps life of all its joy, would you agree?

Screening her for generosity:

You: Do you know how to give a good backrub?

Screening her for fidelity:

You: What do you feel about guys who like to keep their options open and date around until they find that perfect match?

(Note: This is reverse psychology. The more she hates on guys who date around, the likelier it is she is doing the same.)

Screening her for wife and mother potential:

You: I really like girls who have a crazy streak and no hang-ups. Have you ever let a guy snort coke off your ass?

Screening her for sluttiness:

You: On a scale from 1 to 10, how would you rate your blowjob technique?

Screening her for femininity:

You: Have you ever, or are you now, working for a law firm in any capacity or going to law school?

Screening her for romanticism:

You: I like girls who can have a great time with me spending no money just walking around the tidal pool at midnight and staring at the stars in the sky. (Wait for her reaction. If she’s a money or status whore, you’ll see a quick flash of disgust cross her face before she settles on the appropriate answer.)

Screening her for willingness to please you:

You: I can only be with a girl who likes to exercise, not one who sees it as a chore.

******

These screening tests should get you started. If you’re looking to just get laid, you’ll want to toss softballs and screen her for things she is eager to confirm — like love of travel. For girlfriend screenings, you’ll want to bang her first, then apply more vigorous screens to weed out those girls who would be a waste of your resources.

But the best screening test I’ve found BY FAR is looking at a picture of her mother — there’s your future, buddy. Choose wisely.

DON'T STOP THINKING ABOUT THE NEXT GIRL

A big mistake guys make when they start dating a girl they really like — the “one” — is neglecting to continue going out and getting fresh leads. I used to do this, so I know the mental processes that go through a guy’s head when he’s really into a girl he’s dating. He channels all his pickup energy into this one girl, figuring that if he made it as far as a first or a second date he should focus like a laser beam on her pants zipper. He spends the long days in between seeing her analyzing his progress, picking apart the meaning behind her actions (or inactions), and daydreaming about what a relationship would be like with her. When he goes out, he gets lazy and tells himself there is no urgency to collect new numbers since he’s already dating a quality chick and most of the other girls can’t compare anyhow.

This is a sexually lethal frame of mind to put oneself in. When a guy completely boxes himself in like this with no options to fall back on, all it takes is a change of heart by his golden girl to crush his soul and send him spiraling into morose self-examination. It’s like investing your whole wad in a biotech startup with huge promise only to see it crash to a sub-penny stock after the CEO is convicted of fraud. You’d have been a lot better off diversifying your portfolio in a range of pussy sectors.

As an example, once, during the course of a month, I had four second dates in a row fizzle out on me leading to no sex. I made a critical error by jumping from one girl to the next — dating, failing, getting a new lead, dating again, failing again, etc. My desperation and self-doubt grew with each new girl, practically ensuring failure.

The way to beat this crippling dating handicap is to follow the “two in the kitty” rule religiously. You should date a minimum of two girls simultaneously until you have locked in your preferred girl by having sex with her at least three times. I have found through trial and error that a girl will bond to you after the third bang. Before that, it’s a crapshoot and depends on the girl’s innate femininity. Because modern girls have taken on male characteristics (especially DC girls who are more masculine than girls from less ambitious or overeducated towns) and are sluttier than past generations, the first or second bang won’t guarantee emotional attachment. By the third bang, however, you will notice a very perceptible shift in the balance of power. Suddenly, she will call and text you first, ask about your weekend schedule, tell you to “give me a call soon”, start doing favors for you, cuddle longer, and generally betray signs of nervousness when you make yourself physically or emotionally scarce.

That is when you will have her in the palm of your hand and can steer the relationship in the direction you want it to go.

A guy can achieve this if he adheres to these fundamental principles:

Other girls CAN compare. Girls are more interchangeable than you’d think. Don’t get sucked into “oneitis”.

If you date one girl exclusively and she really turns you on, you WILL give off a needy vibe at some point during the pre-sex seduction no matter how much experience you have. The best players who have ice running through their veins and cyborgian state control get that way because they date and fuck many girls concurrently.

A good date means nothing. The only thing that matters is penis in vagina, and even then a feeling of security is not assured until the penis has penetrated the vagina on at least three different occasions. (Three times in one night does not count.)

You will find it easier to close the deal with your number one girl if you are banging a number two and three girl. A man getting regular sex has an aura that girls subconsciously register in their hindbrains. Don’t ask me how this happens, but it does. The Aura is very powerful, like the chemical hormones secreted by ants and bees to get them to cooperate as a social structure, and will be your Valkyrie in the battle for pussy.

Approach the game while dating as ardently as you do when you are dating no one. If you have a date Tuesday, go out Monday and Wednesday and get more numbers. Even if you fail at getting numbers, just taking the initiative of meeting new girls and chatting them up will reduce the neediness you feel with your date.

Never, EVER, feel guilty for dating and banging many girls simultaneously. The mating marketplace is a battlefield and the Genitalia Convention rules of engagement clearly stipulate that it’s open season for fucking around until terms of exclusivity are tendered. This is not your mother’s dating environment.

A hot chick is MORE likely, not less, to continue seeing you if you tell her you are “dating around”. A guy who knows he has options and is in fact exercising those options is extremely attractive to a girl.

Don’t give a girl the chance to pull the rug out from under you. Have another ten rugs underneath that one and you will glide through your interactions with women like a shark through a school of mackerel.

4 GAME: SEDUCTION

BODY LANGUAGE

This is where the majority of guys stumble during the pickup. The first impression is made within seconds, on the walk over to the girl, before one word is spoken. The way a guy carries himself, moves his body, his hands and arms, positions his feet, stands, maintains eye contact, and interacts non-verbally with girls is half his game. You can spit the words of Voltaire, but if your body is incongruent with what you’re saying, you will get blown out.

Some of the common beta body language mistakes I see guys making:

Walking over to the girl too quickly

When a guy sees a cute chick he gets excited. His adrenaline pumps and his heart races as he thinks about how best to approach her. This inner turmoil reveals itself in his physical composure. He marches toward her too fast, propelled by his unspoken insecurity to get the job over with as soon as possible. Fast walkers are unattractive. Focus on your walking speed. Stroll over like a pimp taking his time to admire the other girls in the room along the way.

Doing everything too fast

Related to the above, guys tend to gesticulate too rapidly when they get nervous, reflexively jerking around their hands, arms, and head. Be aware of this and deliberately slow down all your movements. Take an extra two seconds to reach for a beer. Move around her in languid, measured rhythms. When she is speaking, slowly cock your head to the side. The key thing is to avoid any sudden movements. That betrays anxiety. It helps to imagine your life is a movie in slo-mo.

Being too stiff

The opposite of the above is when a guy stiffens up from nerves. Don’t be a totem pole. Move your arms around, swivel your body, make hand gestures while telling a story. Watch Marlon Brando in The Godfather. Just do it all slowly.

Closed body language

Guys who are confident that nothing in life can touch them have very open and smooth body language. Nervous guys who are always afraid of fights, of being sucker punched, of conflict, will defensively scrunch up their body as if they were psychologically warding off blows. Guys who fear nothing open their arms, expose their chests, and generally project the look of someone who never worries about being caught off-guard. In that vein, avoid shoving your hands in your pockets, crossing your arms, standing with a narrow stance, looking around the room with darting eyes, slouching, or grabbing one forearm with your hand.

Holding drinks too high

Very common. Don’t do it. Look at old James Bond films. Sean Connery holds his tumbler down by his waist, not up by his nipples.

Adjusting himself

Any primping should be done at home before going out. Don’t tug at your cuffs, flatten your hair, pick at your fingernails, swipe at your nose, rub your eyes, brush off imaginary lint, or hoist your pants. A relaxed alpha male does not primp in the field.

Leaning in (pecking)

Another common mistake. Nearly every guy does this when starting out. It’s called pecking because the motion of jerking your head and body forward to listen with rapt attention to what a girl is saying looks like a chicken pecking at seed. She is not so important that you need to lean in to catch every precious word. Lean back with your whole body and let her lean into you. If she has something to say she’ll move in so you can hear it. The act of bending to your will fires up her loins. The one exception is in very noisy venues where you have to lean in if she is a soft talker. It’s OK to do this as long as you lean in SLOWLY and lean back during pauses.

Weak eye contact

Hold it slightly longer than you feel comfortable doing. Dominating another guy with steady eye contact can lead to a fight. Dominating a girl with eye contact can lead to sex. Remember, girls WANT to feel dominated. It turns them on. And making sure she breaks eye contact first is a great way to demonstrate dominance.

High pitched, incessant fast talking

A guy who is seeking approval will talk fast, hoping to finish his point before people become bored with what he’s saying. His tone of voice will rise as sentences are completed. A guy who is confident that everyone will listen intently to his brilliance will talk slowly in a low or neutral pitch and pause frequently. Pausing is an extremely powerful method of subcommunicating dominance. Think about a really effective professor or manager. They begin speaking… PAUSE to build anticipation… make their point… PAUSE to let it sink in… conclude… PAUSE again… for effect. The words don’t matter as much as how you say them.

Beta body positioning

After the approach, guys usually remain standing at the point they first entered the group to introduce themselves. This spot is often on the outside of the social circle, back to the crowd, looking in at his target. That is a weak position. You want to move to the power position as quickly as possible. The power position is center of the group, back to the wall or the bar, facing the room as if you were a king surveying your kingdom and your subjects were gathered round to entertain you. A trick for maneuvering to the power position is to take a girl’s hand, lift it up so she reacts by doing a spin move, and spinning her away from the bar. You then steal her spot or chair. You can even call attention to your bold move: “Oh man, I just stole your seat!”

Poor stance

If you are standing, keep your feet apart close to the width of your shoulders. An alpha monopolizes space. One foot should point forward and the other should point outward about 45 degrees. Thrust your pelvis out slightly.

Poor sitting

If you are sitting, don’t cross your legs. You’re not an old man. Spread them out as if you were naked and you wanted the whole world to behold your breathtaking package.

Showing his palms too frequently

This non-verbal faux pas is a little arcane, but subconsciously girls notice it. Turning your hands up is a sign of submission. In the beginning, when you are building attraction by demonstrating your alphaness you should keep your palms down or turned inward. Emphasize points by raising and lowering your hand, palm down. If you look at video clips of presidential candidates on the stump you will see that the force of their speaking is intensified by strong hand movements. Bill Clinton often addressed the crowd with his palm in, fingers curled into a fist, and thumb pointing out like a gun. Later, during the comfort stage of the pickup after she is attracted, you can show your palm to display vulnerability.

Forgetting to touch the girl

This one is huge. Probably the number one alpha trait is comfort with touching other people. A guy totally gives away his betatude if he is uncomfortable touching girls. Touching should start immediately, literally within two seconds of the approach. During your introduction, lightly touch your target and the potential cockblock on the elbows simultaneously. Start inoffensively, like on the forearms or shoulders, then gradually move to touching more erogenous zones, like the upper back, upper arm, or thigh. Avoid accidentally touching the bra strap, the hair, or the face too soon, as these spots will fire off an instant recoil reaction in a girl who isn’t yet attracted to you. When you talk in her ear take advantage of the moment to graze her cheek with yours. The small of the lower back is a highly charged zone, so move your hand down her back as the pickup progresses. Wrap your arms around her waist when you want to move her to another location in the bar. Anytime you say something funny, anchor it with your touch. When I have a good pickup my hands RARELY break contact with my target.

Not smiling or smiling at the wrong times

Yep, pretty basic. Always smile on the approach. Just don’t overdo it. Drop the smile after your introduction. Smiling and laughing works best in measured doses. NEVER laugh at your own jokes. Don’t laugh every time she says something funny. Your attitude should be “Oh she said something adorable again. How cute!”, not “HA HA this girl is the funniest! She is SO cool! She is the best!” Alternating your smiling with smirking, frowning, and a straight face is the winning formula.

Animated facial gesturing

In the early stages of the pickup when you are bringing higher energy than your target in order to get attraction it’s acceptable to accentuate your stories with facial gestures. Later on, though, you want to avoid these histrionics. Constantly raising your eyebrows, nodding your head, widening your eyes, smiling broadly, or twisting your mouth into funny shapes indicates an approval seeking mentality. You are not an approval seeker, you are an approval giver.

Moving out of the way to accommodate others

Hold your ground. When a guy needs to pass by, make him move around you. You don’t want to be that guy who’s always stepping out of the way to avoid getting jostled by the crowd. When a girl reaches for her drink, make her go over or around you.

Facing the girl directly

Don’t face your target directly until after she has qualified herself to you. She does not deserve your full attention when you first meet her. Keep your body angled slightly away from her. Later, when she has earned your interest, turn to face her completely. This is the signal to move into rapport. Note: If you are running direct game you will face her right away.

Go forth, and lubricate vaginas with the power of your presence.

ALPHA BODY LANGUAGE

In my view, and in the view of much of the seduction community, the single biggest factor of early game success is body language. Women react viscerally to a man’s strong body language before he has said one word. The way he walks toward her, the way he smiles, the way he stands. It strikes me that the reason this is so is because it is harder to fake the subtle indicators of alphaness with your body than it is with your words. Women have evolved to be perceptive of a man’s emotional state and body language is the physical manifestation of inner game, so that’s what women key in on first.

I have written some posts on how to spot beta body language and how to mimic alpha body language. One of the most important points I have made is that it is imperative you avoid jerky, reactive movements. Well, the science is rolling in and, unsurprisingly to anyone who has lived a day in his life and finds corroborating evidence in what I write, the conclusions are vindicating my worldview.

Wimps have rapid reaction times

OREGON, U. S.: Unfit or weak people react sooner to sounds of approaching danger than strong, healthy people – which may be an evolutionary adaptation to allow them a larger margin of safety, says a new study.

Test subjects listened to a sophisticated sound system that mimicked an approaching object, explained John Neuhoff, an evolutionary psychologist at the College of Wooster in Ohio, U. S., and co-leader of the study.

The ‘virtual object’ sounded like a motorcycle passing on a highway, approaching the subject at 15 m/s and then whizzing past them. The subjects were asked to hit a key when they thought the sound was right in front of them.

Fitness was measured by two variables: heart rate after a bout of moderate cardiovascular exercise and muscular power, measured by the strength of their hand grips. […]

“It’s beneficial [for the weaker] to react sooner rather than later,” said Neuhoff. “The cost of responding too early is far less than the potentially fatal cost of responding too late.”

Corollary: It’s beneficial for the stronger to take their sweet time reacting to events. Not because it will lessen his chances of getting killed (mauled or bludgeoned in the ancestral environment), but because women are wired to associate a calm demeanor and stoic repose with an alpha male she wants to fuck.

Women typically responded sooner than men, who on average are physically stronger.

This is evidence that beta males behave more like women than men. No wonder they get LJBFed.

Here is another study proving the efficacy of my body language advice.

Women become less choosy when they, rather than men, move from table to table. […]

A study in Psychological Science points out that chivalric behaviour created by the speed-dating experience may be skewing the data.

Normally in speed dating, men walk around a room and visit a succession of seated women for mini dates just a few minutes long. Later, the participants note down whom they would like to meet again. If there is a match, the organizers help the people to get in touch. Psychologists have found that although men choose, on average, half of the women present, women choose to see only a third of the men again.

This isn’t really a surprise. Among animals, females are usually the picky ones, because they make the larger reproductive investment. However, the new research, by Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick, social psychologists at Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois, demonstrates that tinkering with the speed-dating format alters human behaviour, dramatically changing the outcome. […]

The researchers established 15 speed-dating events for 350 young adults. During eight events, men rotated around the seated women, and during seven events, women moved between seated men. When men rotated, men said yes 50% of the time and women said yes 43% of the time. However, when women rotated, the trend for higher female selectivity vanished, with men saying yes 43% of the time while women said yes 45% of the time.

I have long contended that one of the reasons speed dating sucks (besides the surfeit of cougars) has to do with the retarded system organizers use requiring men to be the ones to switch tables while the women remain seated. This dynamic creates the impression that the men are slabs of meat in a butcher’s display case that women casually browse for the choicest cuts. It exacerbates an already lopsided intrinsic mating market mechanism.

The researchers think the reason for this phenomenon is related to embodiment — the idea that physical actions can alter perception. Pulling something closer makes the object being pulled more appealing, whereas pushing something away makes the object less desirable.

Finkel and Eastwick argue that approaching someone makes the mind want what it is approaching, because people are in the habit of moving towards objects that they want and moving away from objects that they don’t want.

Alpha body language, gentlemen. Learn it. It works and it’s a lot easier to integrate into who you are than is memorizing a long-winded routine. The above study proves that the ideal alpha position is back against the bar, looking outward and surveying your kingdom as girls approach from all directions. The study also reinforces the widely held PUA belief that indirect approaches are more optimal than direct approaches. Perhaps this is why the over-the-shoulder, “just passing through” approach coupled with a time constraint works so well. You are mimicking in vibe and energy, as best you can while in motion, the man sitting down at a speed dating event while rotating women walk up to his table to earn the pleasure of his company.

Body language tips

When a woman tries to get your attention, take a second longer to swivel your head to reply. The goal is to introduce a palpable, but not off-putting, tension to the interaction. In other words, make her sweat.

Keep your head cocked upward slightly. This will accentuate the heaviness of your brow ridge and the heft of your chin and jaw, both indicators of alpha testosterone levels. It also imparts you with a haughtiness that women find irresistible.

Scratch your balls in public once in a while.

If you say something stupid, goofy or impolite (hey, it happens) don’t backpedal or get flustered. Act as if nothing is wrong. Embarrassment is for the little people.

Be scandalous.

Rudely glance around the room every so often when a girl is talking to you.

Be inattentive. Betas focus like a laser beam when engaging a girl because she is the reason for his existence. Alphas exist for themselves.

Maxim #17: Be narcissistic. There is no greater divergence than that between a woman’s stated disapproval of male narcissism and the rapidity with which she jumps into bed with a male narcissist.

Keep a toothpick in your mouth if you don’t smoke.

Be judgmental. Say “Hm” and “I see” a lot when a woman talks to you, arching your eyebrows and frowning skeptically.

If a girl says something genuinely funny (rare, like a lunar eclipse), don’t boisterously laugh in appreciation. Snicker instead.

Be territorial. Spread those arms and legs out.

Learn to love the pregnant pause. When a girl shit tests you, don’t respond like a wind-up beta. Give her a blank, serial killer stare and wait… wait……. waiiiiit for it…. ANSWER! Wow, that was hot. I’m positive I just made a female reader squirm delightfully in her seat.

If you don’t have a witty answer ready for deployment, silence beats stilted conversation.

Lead with your crotch.

Don’t ever fall for the “tap on the shoulder” or the “something on your tie” gags.

Be imperious. The world is your harem.

Finally… use the power of your back. Turning your back on people who have displeased you is a great way to get them to qualify themselves. Girls will reopen. Guys will vamoose.

JUST SAY SOMETHING

You’re standing in front of a cute girl at the Trader Joe’s check-out line. You put the food on the conveyor belt, stealing glances at her as she fiddles with her phone. She looks up briefly at you, then looks back down. You want to say something, anything halfway clever, to get her smiling and a conversation rolling, with the ultimate intention of a phone number exchange, or even, dare you ponder it!, an insta-date to the nearest coffee shop.

But the moment evaporates silently, your mouth paralyzed except for the “I don’t need a bag” you say to the cashier. Another wasted opportunity. But you brush it off easily as soon as you are out the door, figuring you have years ahead of you and plenty of chances to meet girls in similar situations down the road.

The next day, you fumble another opportunity with a girl pumping gas next to you at the gas station. And again, you glibly excuse your inaction with the comforting thought that years of opportunities await you.

The same scene in different contexts is repeated… until those years have passed and the glib excuses don’t come so easily anymore. Regret weighs on you like a stone hung around your neck.

***

Does the above describe you? If you are like most men, it does, too often for your liking. There are many sticking points in game, from meeting to sex to relationship, but the one sticking point that nearly every man experiences, and which holds him back more than any other, is the inability to open his fucking mouth and say something… anything… to a girl he finds attractive. This is the Grand Hurdle, the obstacle that looms like an unscalable wall between him and any new girl.

Conquer this mental barrier, and you have improved your game a thousandfold from where you were before. Why do I say this?

Because every time you don’t talk to a girl is a failure. A failure to at least give yourself a shot at sex and love with her. Think about that for a second. Each one of the thousands upon thousands of good-looking girls who have attracted your attention over the years that you didn’t talk to out of fear and apprehension is your failure.

You have failed each and every one of those times, and your instances of failure now add up to the thousands, perhaps tens of thousands. Hundreds of thousands if you live in a non-obese oasis of America.

That, my friends, is massive fail. No game technique can obliterate more failure, more effectively, than simply opening your mouth and saying something to the girl standing next to you.

Let the words flow. You must abide the words.

So powerful, and yet such a simple concept so universally rejected by the vast majority of men. See that cute girl in the aisle picking through the apples? You’re not the only man with lockjaw. Thousands of other men also stood stupefied as that same girl browsed apples all the other days of the year. Sure, there were a couple of men here and there who managed to say something to her, and now maybe one (or two) of those men are currently fucking her. But for the most part, your competition in the Just Say Something sweepstakes is laughably weak.

So you shouldn’t worry about formulating the perfect witty opener, or a great one-liner that will instantly attract her, if that worry is causing you to abandon any attempt. You’re better off saying something geeky than saying nothing at all.

Naturally, you will want to work at honing your JSS method so that what you do say is maximized toward piquing her interest. But if you’re tongue-tied, mentally masturbating about the cleverness quotient of the opener you are mulling in your head is worse than staying silent. If the choice is between sullen silence and blurting out whatever nonsensical crap comes to you, always go with the nonsensical crap.

In that spirit, here are some JSS openers you can use in various scenarios. Some of these are cheesy, and that’s the point. The goal is to get you talking in a natural, unforced way to a girl without dwelling too heavily on proper game technique.

I know many of you men have stood in that Trader Joe’s line in front of the cute girl with your mouths glued shut, hoping for a flash of inspiration which never came. Read these, and be inspired to pull out your iPod earplugs. These are your first step to defeating the silence.

Supermarket:

“I hear frozen blueberries are in season this year.”

“That’s an excellent ice cream choice.”

“I’m going to read this tabloid and be proud of it.”

“I sometimes judge people by their food purchases. Don’t say you’ve never done that.”

Liquor store:

“Do you think it’s possible to buy single cans of beer? I like to pretend I’m not a lush.”

“That’s a good selection of bottom shelf liquor you got there.”

“Where’s the beer funnel?”

Book store:

“Do you know where the pop-up/color by numbers book section is?”

“I can’t believe this place doesn’t serve pizza.”

Mall clothing store:

“You ever notice how you always get more tired standing in a mall store than anywhere else?”

“Is purple the new black?”

“You look like the kind of girl who knows a lot about cufflinks.”

Farmer’s market:

“An apple always tastes better outdoors.”

“I think my transformation to yuppie is complete.”

“Did you try the fig butter? No? Count your blessings.”

“The world would be a better place if we were all grass-fed.”

Pool hall:

“Don’t worry. That was just the stick.”

“I drink until I see twelve holes. That’s how my game gets better.”

Sidewalk, waiting for crosswalk signal:

Give her the stink-eye. “You look like the jay-walking type.”

“Hi, sidewalk stranger.”

Porta-potty line:

“Too late. I loaded my diapers.”

Just kidding on that last one.

GAME IS 50% NOT PUTTING FOOT IN MOUTH

I was chatting up a cute chick when I overheard another pickup in progress right next to me. The guy was projecting his voice loudly so I couldn’t help but hear just about every word he said to the smiling girl who was listening intently to him. I glanced over when I had a moment to myself to observe his success or failure. (While watching other men crash and burn is a visceral pleasure, I also enjoy watching men succeed because, one, I can always learn something new, and, two, I am still amazed how often men in successful pickups utilize game principles even when they don’t know they’re doing that.)

The guy was good-looking and high energy. His body language and voice tone were confident. At one point, when he stepped away to get a beer, the girl’s friend leaned in and I heard her say “Wow, he’s cute.” From my vantage, at least until then, this pickup was his to lose.

Which he did. Back with beer in hand, they continued talking, or rather, he continued talking and punctuating his words with finger jabs into the air, while she listened. And listened. And listened. Agonizing minutes ticked by. The energy was suddenly one-sided with his wild, and panicky, abandon, for he must have noticed her demeanor changing from delight to impassive politeness to confused annoyance. The previous pickup momentum, torqued in large measure simply on the strength of his looks and initial pose of confidence, dissipated with surprising rapidity as his “game” crumbled around him in a heap of monkey dancing, gum flapping, desperate body posturing, and cloying oversmiling. He began leaning into her in a vain effort to compel her to commit to the waning conversation, but she was already one foot out the door as her eyes darted around searching for a friend, a lifeline, to pull her away from this once attractive man. His inner beta had betrayed him.

Finally, denouement. A friend touched her elbow and whispered something in her ear. The guy figured out from her body language she was leaving soon, so he suggested they exchange numbers. Or he might’ve suggested he give her his number, I couldn’t pick up what he said at that point very clearly. She took her phone out and he typed his number into it and gave it back to her. As she was leaving, she didn’t look back at him. (A good test whether a girl will flake on you for a future date is if she looks back at you briefly after you have gotten her number and she is leaving the premises with her friends. No lookback = flake.) But he wasn’t done yet. Still smiling like a tard getting tickled, he shouted at her departing footsteps: “Hey, you better memorize my number!”

Woofa.

It all went down in ten minutes. Let this be a lesson. Very good looks on a man without any game will buy him 30 seconds to ten minutes of an attractive girl’s attention, after which he will be unceremoniously (and disappointedly) discarded just like any regular run of the mill schlub who doesn’t understand the art of seduction. Men need to stop projecting their fascination with looks onto women; personality and alphaness are what electrify a woman’s pleasure center. Good looks can send initial sparks, (and sparks is all it is) but the allure wears quickly without compensatory game to buttress it.

I number closed my girl. I did not tell her I would memorize her number.

THE SEXUAL FRAME

One of the traits of the beta is that he is uncomfortable with animal sexuality — his own and especially that of the women he craves. He is loathe to initiate contact, late to respond to flirtatious signals, and leery of acknowledging the raw sexual nature of women. His unease with himself and with women’s equally ravenous sexual appetites compels him to constantly elevate women onto pedestals and to befriend them platonically before making his intentions known, if ever. He thinks that expressing his sexual nature too soon or too boldly will diminish them both. He simply cannot conceive a scenario where a sexy girl will make love to him on the first day they meet. This straightjacket of limiting beliefs is why he fails.

A way to avoid these emotionally arid pitfalls is to adopt a frame of mind that is infused with sexuality. Everything begins in the mind. When I see an attractive girl across the room and start walking toward her I immediately picture her naked and writhing under my sheets, sweating in ecstasy. When I am talking with her and it is clear that we click, I imagine what it would feel like to touch her bare skin. I am kissing her before our lips have committed to the kiss. As we delve deeper into conversation, a part of me visualizes peeling off her clothes and imagining transactions… scenarios… a dirty smutty world of possibilities.

This is how every man should approach his interactions with women he is turned on by — unapologetically, sensually, instinctually. Civilized norms should hold no sway over your untamed thoughts or the id that fuels them. They are yours to do with as you please and to set the tone of whatever follows. The advantage to having this carnal mindset at all times lies in the power it gives you to draw women into your reality. When a woman is into you she will sense your sexual energy and mirror it. Your thoughts will become her thoughts. Your desire hers. Later after sex when she is lying in your arms and talking about what led to this point you will discover that she knew it was going to happen when you knew.

Lead as a man in making no excuses for your libertine nature, and she will follow.

QUALIFYING HER

What are two truisms of seduction?

That women want to feel like they are valued for more than their looks.

and

That women want to earn a man’s interest.

This is what the whole idea of qualifying women is based upon. By demonstrating to a woman that she must meet your standards which go beyond how she looks you indirectly communicate that

a. you have discerning taste

b. you are a challenge to be won

c. you can be both a and b because you have choice in women.

One way to demonstrate you have standards is by asking her questions designed to put her on the defensive. These are not open-ended “getting to know you” type questions like “what’s your favorite movie?”. They’re more incisive than that. The answer you want from her is implied in the question you ask, so she’ll feel obligated to win your approval by answering the right way. Once the pickup ball starts rolling in this direction, the power dynamic begins to shift away from her and to you.

Following is a short list of effective qualifying questions that will let the girl know you are a choosy man. Timing is everything. Use them after you have gotten indications that she is attracted to you, usually 10 to 15 minutes after you’ve opened her if your game was tight. She will feel no reason to qualify herself to you if she isn’t already interested.

Can you cook?

Do you give good backrubs?

Are you a good kisser?

Do you do much traveling?

Are you rich?

Are you smart?

Are you the jealous type?

Is there more to you than just your looks?

Are you low, medium, or high maintenance?

Have you ever given a dollar to a homeless guy when no one else was watching?

Don’t be afraid to express some disappointment if she doesn’t answer your question in a way that pleases you. Let the disappointment show on your face. Don’t make a huge production out of it; a deflated “oh, i see” or “that’s too bad” will work just fine. If she quickly tries to correct the wrong impression she left with you then you’ll know she sees you as someone worthy of pleasing. She’ll be in chase mode, which is where girls WANT to be despite what they may claim to the contrary. (Older washed-up women, don’t bother contradicting what I say. You have forgotten what it’s like to be a young woman.)

Qualification questions can also be framed in the form of statements. Saying any of the following in the course of a conversation, sometimes with a half-serious grin to blunt the impact, subtly projects that you are the one to impress, not the other way around.

You better still look hot when you get older.

I’m not interested in [XYZ].

You get points for that.

I’m gonna change the subject now.

I don’t know if I can be with a girl who likes to [XYZ].

In my experience, most men forget to qualify the girls they date. Their inner game is so geared toward trying to impress her that they never even think to turn the tables and interview HER for the job. When women go on dates, they are interviewing the guys, whether they admit this or not. The way to defeat her at her own game is not to accept her terms of engagement at all. Instead, flip the script. Use her weapons of courtship against her. When she tries to qualify you, brush off her attempts like you would dismiss a bratty little kid trying to goad you into a dare. The posture to adopt is amused mastery of everyone around you.

After you’ve built up a store of experience with women, you’ll start to have real standards that they must meet. Your choosiness will no longer be an artifact of game but a core component of who you are as a man. Having standards that include more than how she looks will make you very attractive to women, because it subconsciously telegraphs that you are not so stricken by beauty like an inexperienced man that you would abandon your other criteria. When you can walk away from dates out of true conviction rather than tactical advantage your inner game will be like heart of lion.

WHAT DO YOU DO IF A GIRL CALLS YOUR DISQUALIFICATION BLUFF?

Disqualifications — false or genuine — are a powerful pickup tool. Pulling the rug out from under a girl who autonomically believes you desire her is a lickety-split way to raise your status vis a vis her status, and thus delight her hypergamous reflex. The fact is, women are constantly in a disqualification state of mind: she glides through the masses of maledom programmed to disqualify as many suitors as possible, and to settle upon the one man who is the best of all the men she can attract with her looks and youth.

Knowing this, the appropriation by the pickup artist of the female prerogative to disqualify is a classic example of flipping the seduction script and deviously moving the woman into the chaser role, where she is more likely to perceive you as higher status and sexually desirable. Psych 101 and various books on influencing friends and clients touches upon this stuff, but of course the estimable textbooks don’t follow the logic down the crimson road of poon hunting.

There are four primary types of disqualification. Briefly, I will describe them here, before tackling the subject of this post’s title.

1. Preemptive self-disqualification

Introduced by Mystery, this is a statement you make to a girl that lets her know, in so many words, that you aren’t a serious prospect. You do this by disqualifying yourself. Examples: “I’m gay”, “I’m in a relationship”, “I’m not interested in dating at this point in my life”, “I have the AIDS”, “I poop myself during scary scenes in movies”, “I’m a male feminist”.

This type of DQ (disqualification — I don’t feel like typing the whole word out because my pinky finger isn’t working, fuck you acronym haters) is called “preemptive” because it short circuits a girl’s hypergamous instinct by robbing her of the opportunity to disqualify you first. It essentially reverses the chaser-chased dynamic, and upturns millions of years of evolutionarily molded female expectation. All of this works on the subconscious level. In the heat and fury of a real live social interaction, these game tactics fly under a girl’s conscious radar, barely perceived by anyone but her omnipresent war room hamster and the hotline the fevered critter has to the gina general at the front.

The preemptive self-DQ is intended to act as a bitch shield runaround: a girl is less likely to blow you out if you make her think you’re not available to her in the first place.

2. Target disqualification

Self-explanatory, this is a tactic whereby the man disqualifies the girl from being a serious mating prospect. Owing to the greater chance that Target DQ can be perceived by the woman as sour grapes, this is a more aggressive, and thus riskier, form of DQ, its risk weighed against a potentially more rewarding payoff. Examples: “You seem like you’d make a great friend”, “You’re not really my type”, “You’re a good girl, I’m nothing but trouble… we would never work”, “I’m glad you’re off the market” [just assume she’s off the market], “Phew, so nice to talk to a girl who isn’t trying to flirt with me”, “Since your vagina is cemented shut by a rare disease, I can talk to you like you’re one of the guys”, “You’re the first lesbian I’ve met in this town”.

The Target DQ is less about lowering a woman’s bitch shield than it is about instigating a woman to qualify herself to you. It’s a more proactive DQ compared to the PSDQ above, serving as it does as an immediate status differential cue to the woman that she has to do something to correct the imbalance to the natural order of things. This “something” usually involves convincing you, the incorrigible player, that she is hot and sexy and goodtogo. PSDQs are female disqualification — aka rejection — avoiders or neutralizers, while TDQs are meant to coax women into self-qualifying.

3. Handicap Principle self-disqualification

This is a sub-genre of vulnerability game, and promoted by Charisma Arts (A Wayne Elise aka Juggler production). Basically, you bring up some faux embarrassing thing about yourself — some minor personality flaw that you blow up into significance — and reveal it to the girl. The theory behind the Handicap Principle is that women perceive men who are comfortable “handicapping” themselves — either through bright plumage (peacocking) or through admission of beta characteristics — as alpha males, because who else but an alpha male would be strong and powerful enough to shoulder a weak beta flaw without suffering any hit to his overall status?

Be careful with the Handicap Principle. First, it’s a theory, an elegant one to be sure, but one that remains, as far as I know, largely unproven by evolutionary biologists. The degree to which HP might apply to humans is unknown. At some great enough level of flaw possession, the Handicap Principle must surely break down, and we see evidence for this in the many stories of alpha males who became beta in relationships and then lost their women’s love. Personally, I think the Handicap Principle is easily confused with the theory of sexual selection, but that is a topic for a future post.

Nonetheless, it is true that women coo for the alpha male who unloads a perfectly timed admission of (cute) self-abnegation. Examples: “Oh man, I’m so bad at figuring out if women are flirting with me or not”, “I don’t dance, I’ve got two left feet”, “Ever since an unfortunate childhood trauma, I’ve had a fear of puppies”, “Black people scare me”.

The trick is to admit your “flaws” with utmost confidence and unconcern. Don’t say them as if you’re waiting to judge her reaction. They should be spoken off-the-cuff, almost as if you’re unaware that there is a girl standing there listening to you. NEVER admit to a real beta flaw that would repulse most women; i. e. “I go limp when a woman makes more money than I do”.

4. Beta bait disqualification

Another Juggler specialty, the idea behind the BBDQ is to disqualify yourself as a sucker for women’s flirtations. This is a minor school of DQ that you probably won’t use or need very often, but when you do use it, its power is undeniable. Women will very frequently try to “tease out” beta males by complimenting men and judging them on their reactions. Does the man express a little too much appreciation for her compliment? BETA. Does he seize upon her compliment as a springboard to ask her out? BETA. Does he say “Wow, no girl has ever said something so kind to me before!”? BETA.

But if a woman compliments you, and your reaction is to ignore it, downplay it, or even disagree with her (without veering into self-deprecation territory), she will think ALPHA. Examples: “Thanks, but this actually isn’t my favorite shirt”, “You like these shoes? You’re easy to please”, “Yes, that bulge is my penis. Now you’ve made me self-conscious”.

The BBDQ is both a self-disqualification and a target disqualification. You deny the woman’s positive assessment of you, while simultaneously denying her power over your emotions. It is a very subtle art form that, when mastered, is chick crack to women’s status discernment modules. A successful BBDQ is only superficially a signal of modesty; underneath the calculated modesty is a heat-seeking missile aimed straight at a woman’s id heart that explodes in a fireball of lust for your total lack of interest in winning her approval.

***

DQs are one of the most difficult game techniques for noobs to grasp. They are tangentially related to negs, and like the neg, they are often abused and misused by beginners. Their power is also their danger; because they work so well, men new to the game have a tendency to throw them out at awkward moments, and with too much expectant fervor. They then come across as creeps and try-hards, and wind up providing fodder to bitches to later log into the social media borg to mock the hapless betas who tried to run game on them.

(Leave it to a woman to mock a man for trying. You don’t hear too many men mocking fat chicks who make a real effort to lose weight by going to the gym and eating right. But then, in some respects, men simply have more compassion and empathy than do women for the opposite sex. But I ingest.)

The keys to getting your DQ money’s worth are timing, context and delivery. Too soon –> weird. Too late –> spiteful. Too unrelated — > try-hard. Too forced –> creepy. Too self-deprecating –> beta. Too nasty –> sour grapes.

But even when you have timing, context and delivery down pat, you will sometimes get your DQ called out by a woman.

You: “I’m not looking for anyone right now.”

Girl: “Good, because neither am I.”

***

You: “You’re a good girl, I’m trouble… we would never work out.”

Girl: “Yeah, I guess I am a good girl.”

***

You: “I’ve got a weird fear of puppies. Goes back to a childhood incident.”

Girl: “That’s fucked up.”

***

You: “Thanks, but this isn’t my favorite shirt.”

Girl: “Yeah, now that I look at it closely, it’s not a very good shirt.”

Don’t worry. These kinds of reactions, as plausible as they are in writing, and as much as cunts will cackle that they will respond like this to players whenever one of them tries to hit on their skanky carcasses, are blessedly rare. Most girls will be too high on their torqued emotions to call out a player’s DQ bluff so directly. The hamster is simply not that rational; hence, why he’s called the rationalization hamster, devoted to creating rationale out of nothing at all.

But DQ bluff-calling does happen, and more often to newbs than to experienced PUAs. When a newb gets his DQ bluff called, the result can be hilarity (not to mention the newb’s demanding his money back from some overpriced pickup seminar he attended). A great illustration of a newb’s DQ bluff being called out was provided by Juggler in the post ‘Wayne Elise, Pacing, and Conversational Context’

ASPIRING NOOB: ‘I could. But I’m not going to. I’m an all out there kinda guy. I’m going to this fab party later. If you’re lucky I might invite you.’

GIRL: ‘No thanks.’

‘Aww. You’re playing hard to get. That’s so cute.’

‘Whatever.’

‘I hear an accent. Where are you from?’

‘Nowhere.’

‘Ha. Nowhere. That’s funny. Can I buy you a drink?’

‘Yes. I’ll take a piña colada but don’t even think about dropping a roofie in there. I’m not going to hook up with you.’

‘Whoever said anything about hooking up? You’re more of the kinda girl I see as a friend.’

‘Good.’

‘Good. So what’s your name?’

If a girl isn’t already invested in the conversation with you, a DQ is less likely to have the intended effect. If you walk up to a girl cold and start spouting off about how you just want to be friends with her and you aren’t available for dating, what kind of reaction do you think you’ll get? Do you imagine girls will start qualifying themselves to you on the spot? No, you have to first reel her in and dangle the promise of your interest before unloading the soul-sucking DQ.

Many PUAs, like Tyler Durden, recommend a preemptive approach to DQing; that is, you train yourself to sense when girls are about to disqualify you, and disqualify them before they get a chance. Often, this occurs during the late comfort stage of the seduction, when the girl is beginning to feel pangs of guilt about the release of her inner slut which looms on the horizon. Other PUAs, like Mystery, advocate active DQs early in the attraction phase, as a direct method for building attraction. Still others say to avoid them entirely, as the risk of delving into “sour grapism” territory is too great to assume.

I will say this about DQs:

They are supposed to sound spontaneous. The best DQs are unexpected and off-the-cuff. If it sounds like a line, it will backfire. If it sounds like you thought about it beforehand, it will backfire. Body language and facial expression are important conveyors of indifference and spontaneity.

Never DQ from a position of weakness. If you are working overtime to keep a girl’s attention, a DQ will only lower your value even more. Remember, DQs are FALSE disqualifications. When you DQ as a last resort to keep a girl around, it is no longer false; it is a real disqualification.

If a girl calls out your DQ, my best advice is to ignore it and change the subject, OR readily agree with her in return. A pinpoint DQ destroyer, while rare, is not to be trifled with. You want to avoid at all costs the impression of being flustered or annoyed or dispirited by her agreement with your DQ. Just roll with it, as if you’re glad she agreed with you, and reassess if she’s worth your continued effort to bed.

The upside to a failed DQ is that, later, if the girl is into you and starts to return your interest, you can remind her of the claim she made earlier about not wanting this to go anywhere. A pullback at a moment when the girl MOST WANTS TO PULL INTO YOU is like sticking TNT up her hamster’s anus. You are beginning down the road of building your own slave harem.

Preemptive DQs — the type of DQ that occurs before you have built adequate interest in the girl (think Mystery Method-style) — can work great IF you don’t linger on them waiting for a reaction. You drop the DQ, ignore whatever reply she gives in return, and plow. The goal is subconscious infiltration, leading to script flipping.

Mystery-style preemptive DQs work best on hot girls. Since hot girls are the most likely to assume every man wants them (justifiably), a quick correction to the contrary can temporarily scramble their status differential discernment algorithms.

Be careful about DQing 6s and 7s. You can easily blow a girl out of the water and render yourself unattainable to them.

If you’re going to agree with a girl’s DQ nuke, don’t make a production out of it. For example:

WRONG WAY TO AGREE WITH GIRL’S DQ NUKE

Girl: “Good. I just want to be friends too.”

You: “Yeah, yeah, friends. That’s what I want to.” [pained expression belies your words]

RIGHT WAY TO AGREE WITH GIRL’S DQ NUKE

Girl: “Good. I just want to be friends too.”

You: “Cool. So… you see that guy over there? I think he wants you. That’s the way to do it. Stare hard.”

In Juggler’s example above, when the NOOB says “If you’re lucky I might invite you”, he’s expecting the girl to reply something along the lines of “Wow, you must think you’re special”, a shit test to which the NOOB thinks he is well-trained to parry. But instead, she deflates him totally with the cold “No thanks”. The NOOB is now left flailing, hurling more DQs at her in hopes one will stick.

The best defense against the deflating DQ nuke is to simply avoid putting yourself in the position where such nukes are likely to happen. If you pace yourself, the likelihood of triggering a DQ nuke goes way down. Should one happen to you, one that is particularly disheartening, you may consider bailing.

You: “If you’re lucky I might invite you.”

Girl: “No thanks.”

You: “Ok. See ya.”

A good player knows when to cut his losses.

However, if you see an opening and want to continue working on her, agree and redirect.

You: “If you’re lucky I might invite you.”

Girl: “No thanks.”

You: “Yeah, come to think of it, it’s probably better you don’t come. My ex might start a fight with you.”

OR

You: “Well, I suppose now I can make room for my Mom to come with me.”

OR

You: [fake look of indignation] “Invite… REVOKED.”

OR

You: “Great, now who am I gonna set up my friend with?”

OR

You: “Damn, I guess I’ll have to buy my own drinks.”

This has been an introductory course in DQs and sidestepping DQ nukes. The subject material is advanced, so I encourage the commenters to flesh it out for the 1 billion readers who are hanging on your every word.

A-HOLE GAME A SERIES

ONE

This week I will discuss Asshole Game. There is no sugarcoating it; being an asshole works on women, all women, most of the time. Any man who has lived a day in his life and isn’t self-deluded by equalist ideology or chick flic romanticism knows this is true, even those PUA “love gurus” who unctuously sermonize that what women really want are “strong confident men” minus the asshole part. Save your holier-than-thou moralizing and desperate attempts to discredit asshole game by falsely claiming it only appeals to low self esteem girls. We’re going to discuss what works, not what should work.

I’ve written before about how effective asshole game is at attracting and keeping your women in line. If you’ve been in a rut, or you’re having troubles with your girlfriend (almost always instigated by the girl), acting like an asshole is the quickest and most efficient way to set things straight. I was talking about this with a couple friends recently and they agreed that no matter how often they see asshole game work, they still can’t accept the reality of it. I hear this said all the time from friends who have witnessed me using asshole game on a girl: “I can’t believe that works.” No surprise. No man truly wants to believe that soul of a woman was created below.

I’m going to briefly describe a scenario from my own life when I was an asshole with a girl, and what effect it had on her. Use my lessons in your own life and be amazed at the results it gets you. (No, seriously.) In the comments, feel free to offer your own asshole suggestions for how you would have handled the situation I present.

I was six months into a relationship with a pretty au pair (standard MO: ten years younger). She lived outside the city. I was already telling her to “see me on a Tuesday night, because this weekend is tough for me. And you need to research getting your green card.” I said this because secretly I was in hunter mode and wanted the weekend nights to myself for preying on fresh meat. My friends thought I was crazy. “She’s the perfect girlfriend. Why would you fuck that up?” “She’s going to know you’re out at the clubs hitting on girls. She’ll leave you.” That’s all I ever heard from them.

One of those weekend nights I was at a music club with friends, chatting with some goth chicks standing around us. Late in the night, my au pair girlfriend showed up at the club, unexpectedly. She had had her host family drop her off in front of the club at 1 am. I never told her where I would be at, let alone that I was even going out that night. She simply guessed and nailed it. I didn’t see her come in. My friends looked over my shoulder with raised eyebrows as my GF sidled up behind me and put her arms around my waist.

*ASSHOLE ALERT*

I turned around and looked at her without smiling, the disappointment etched onto my face. I remember the thoughts going through my head: “Oh man, I won’t be able to hit on any girls now that she’s here.” I muttered “Hey” and with a hint of annoyance asked her how she got there. I told her to get herself a drink. She never left my side for the rest of the night while I constantly glanced around the room. Her eyes blazed with a mixture of love and worry.

We stayed together for another year. It went on like this for a while: Me keeping a distance to surreptitiously hit on new women, her chasing after me. The sex never faltered. It was always hot and her pussy dripped like a faucet right up until the end.

There are genuine assholes who are loved, and there are spiteful assholes who get nowhere. The difference is crucial.

Uncaring asshole = success with women.

Caring asshole = failure with women.

When women say they don’t fall for assholes, they are thinking of the second kind. A caring asshole comes from a place of bitterness and spite. His assholery is reactive rather than proactive. He is poor at calibrating which women will be responsive to his dick attitude. Caring assholes are crassly insulting and transparently invested in the outcome of their game.

Uncaring assholes are assholes as a consequence of their indifference. It is the aloofness of the man she loves that drives women crazy with obsession*, and that aloofness is manifest as asshole behavior. An uncaring asshole demonstrates clearly in his body language and tone of voice, not to mention his dearth of words, that he could take her or leave her. In the scenario above, my asshole behavior mirrored my feelings perfectly — I really did not want her there by my side that night.

*Why do women love assholes? Quickie answer: Sexy Sons hypothesis.

TWO

Asshole game with 25 year old foreign girlfriend

Her: I love Indian culture. The dancing, the colorful dresses, the religion…

Me: You love Bollywood? There’s no accounting for taste.

Her: [getting seriously agitated] Shut up! The Indian culture is beautiful.

Me: Hey, there’s an Indian guy who lives down the street. Go knock yourself out. You can get some of his culture long and hard.

Her: You’re an ignorant American. A child. What do you know.

Me: I know you’re being annoying.

Later — pussy dripping sex.

Asshole game with bartender chick

Me: [looking at her new hairstyle with a grimace] What did you do to your hair!?

Her: I got bangs! Jesus, fuck you.

Me: It doesn’t work for me.

Three months later — pussy dripping sex. And free drinks.

Asshole game with heavily tattooed chick in indie club

Me: Hi.

Her: [sighing] Just to let you know up front, I’m not interested.

Me: So you’re not going to introduce me to your cute friend?

Later — no sex, but pride as a man.

Asshole game with girl trying to break up with me in Starbucks

Her: I really think this isn’t going to work. I don’t want to do this anymore. Look at us.

Me: [slouching for maximum aloofness effect] I can read your face. You’re a bad liar. But if this is what you want then go ahead. I gotta admit you’re not easy to be in a relationship with. You’re a fucking pain in the ass.

Her: What’s that supposed to mean?!?

Later — six more months of pussy dripping sex.

***

Note: Never smile when running asshole game. It’ll look like you’re backpedaling.

THREE

Uncaring asshole game will revitalize a flagging relationship and help keep the love strong.

One weeknight around 1 AM I got a frantic call from my girlfriend. She wailed that she had gotten into an accident and needed help. Looking over at my clock and realizing it was six hours until I had to get up for work, I sighed heavily and asked her if the accident was serious. She cried. “Whaat?? I don’t know, yes it’s serious! I don’t know what to do!” I told her to calm down and explain what happened. Between her sobs I could piece together the events. She had driven back from a job and was parallel parking on a street in her neighborhood close to her home, which was about a twenty minute walk from my place. In the process of parking, she had hit the SUV in front of her. Her car, presumably, was sticking out into the street a bit.

A parallel parking “accident”? There was no way I was rousing myself from my comfortable slumber and traipsing out there in the middle of the night to console her for a minor fender bump. How bad can a girl fuck up parallel parking? I thought for a second. My girlfriend was a skittish, uncoordinated driver. Stereotypically female behind the wheel. Yeah, if anyone could turn a parallel park job into a five car pileup it would be her. Then I thought about where she was parked. Her neighborhood was sketchy (i. e. not enough SWPLs had moved in yet). If I were a girl, I wouldn’t walk around there at 1 AM. I thought some more.

“Look, just leave your car there and go home. It’s late. Get some sleep. I have to work tomorrow. We’ll check out your car in the morning. Whatever happened, it can’t be that bad, so stop freaking out about it. You just bumped a fender.”

“I can’t just leave it!” She was really crying now. “You have to come! Please, take a look. It’s bad. I don’t like standing out here. It’s dark and there are weirdos walking around. Just help me!”

Fucking Christ. “Don’t make a big fucking production out of this! You bumped your car, it’s not a huge deal to get worked up over. Calm down and just walk home. I’ll be there in the morning.”

“Please come, pleeeeeease!!!”

Annoyed that my sleep was interrupted, and irritated with my girlfriend for spazzing out over nothing, I drove to the scene of the tardishness. She was pacing next to her car, arms crossed, tears running down her face. I examined the car. Holy shit. There was a giant gouge in the right front panel where she had turned the car too early as she was backing up into the empty parking spot. I couldn’t believe someone could cause that much damage from parallel parking, not even a hysterical girl.

“What the hell did you do?!”

She explained that once her car bumped into the SUV up front, instead of doing the logical thing and pulling out to try again, she had freaked out and kept her foot on the gas pedal, trying to force her tiny Toyota into the spot. Result: A deep resale value-killing indentation from her car grinding into the bumper of the SUV. I get exasperated with stupidity, so I gave her the cold, hard stare of contempt.

“Give me the keys.”

I pulled her car forward and parked it in the empty spot without incident.

“I wanted you to come help. I was scared out here.”

I pointed at her house across the street. “You could’ve pulled your car out and parked like a normal human being, and then gone home instead of dragging me out here for nothing. Don’t play these little drama acts with me.”

She looked down at the ground. The streetlight reflected off her tear streaked face. “What will we do about the car now?”

“I don’t know. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.” I didn’t offer her to come back to my place. “Try not to think about it and go to sleep.”

The next evening she was at my place, apologetic but also hurt that I didn’t rush to her side like a white knight. I barely paid her feelings any heed. Her pain simply didn’t register. That night, we watched porn and I did her in the ass for the first time. She welcomed my meaty intrusion.

When I told a good friend what had happened, the words he used to describe me were “Grade A schmuck. Complete asshole.” Then he wondered why she was still with me and said I didn’t deserve her.

She and I stayed together for another year. The sex was always available and her pussy moist. She never had a “headache”. She accepted my facials with clocklike regularity. In hindsight, she fit the description of a Neurotic Waif perfectly, with elements of the Eternal Ingenue.

The best Asshole Game is when the assholery comes naturally and effortlessly. What I did was not good by most people’s definition of the good, but there’s no denying it worked. After that incident, she was in love with me more than ever.

BEING THE RIGHT KIND OF ASSHOLE

Occasionally, an oh-so-sincere skeptical reader will insist that being the jerk women love doesn’t work, because he/she/it saw some guy calling a girl a bitch once, and that guy didn’t get laid.

The height of counter-argument prowess!

As this blogasmic beacon of bounteous love has written before, there is a critical distinction between being a “caring asshole” that signals to women you are desperate for their vaginas, and being an aloof “uncaring asshole” that signals to women you could do without their vaginas, which ironically makes their vaginas feel strong love.

(I will leave aside for another post examination of putative examples to the contrary, such as those supreme assholes like Chris Brown and Mexican drug lords who, full of care, beat their women to pulps yet still enjoy the undying love of their attractive targets of affliction.)

If you are having trouble dissecting the meaning of being an uncaring asshole, think upon the personality quirks that define a man who has inherited (or honed) the suite of Dark Triad traits. He is closest to the manifestation of the ideal uncaring asshole.

Reader Ripp writes:

“The Dark Triad are the component parts of the one overarching attitude that most defines and forges the successful womanizer: overconfidence.”

Agreed, academically. To qualify overconfidence:

The art of exhibiting these qualities is commonly misrepresented by being a deliberate asshole; a ‘caring asshole’. Irrational overconfidence, or ‘cockyness’, doesn’t hit the mark.

Calculated arrogance, effectively demonstrated pre-selection, a refined non-reactive attitude to shit testing and a mysterious self-serving aloofness comprises the “attitude” described above.

Uncalibrated “overconfidence” is try hard. Yielding true overconfidence at the correct moments hits the mark:

“Listen. I don’t know you…and you need to understand. I’m one charming mother fucker.”

This reader has a point. If you have to shout your overconfidence from the rooftops, you have shown the exact opposite: a lack of self-confidence.

But most Dark Triad Dudes are irrationally overconfident, if by irrational we mean that there is very little objective evidence that would buttress a case for their degree of self-regard. The reason they do well with women is because women don’t subconsciously care as much for objective measures verifying a man’s overconfidence as they care for the overconfident attitude itself. And, remember, when we’re talking about sparking vaginal tingles, it’s a woman’s subconscious you want to massage, not her conscious awareness. The subconscious is orders of magnitude more powerful than the conscious, in which the latter pretty much acts as a highly advanced rationalization machine permitting expression of the desires of the subconscious.

Again… it’s the ALPHA ATTITUDE chicks dig. You have the attitude, and you can pretty much roll with any undersized or overstuffed portfolio of objective accomplishments. If you don’t have the attitude, you will be dismayed to find that your curriculum vitae is not helping you get laid as much as the numbers you crunched told you it would help.

Naturally, it’s better to have both aligned — you’ll find it easier to maintain congruence if your objective status matches your signaling status — but if you had to choose one, choose signaling status. It’s way simpler to achieve, and more fun to apply!

I’ll give you a quick glimpse at a minute in the life of a caring asshole, so that you can better appreciate why he fails with women while his equal but different douchehead cousin cleans up with the ladies.

Girl: “I don’t give my number to guys I just met.”

Asshole who cares too much: “Well, fuck you, nobody asked for it.”

Girl: “You just did.”

Asshole who cares too much: “I was kidding. I would never go out with a bitch like you.”

There’s no denying this guy is an asshole, and there’s no denying he would be a miserable failure with women (although, it has to be said, he’d still do better than the typical mincing betabot). So where did his assholery go wrong? For that, we need to contrast him with his uncaring asshole bro.

Girl: “I don’t give my number to guys I just met.”

Asshole who cares thiiiiiiis much: “My heart will go on.”

Girl: “Well, you did seem like you wanted it.”

Asshole who cares thiiiiiiis much: “That was before I got distracted by your sister.”

In every technical aspect, and according to every feminist by-law, this guy would qualify as an asshole. And, yet, there’s just something about him….

wait… phew… I channeled some woman’s hamster there for a minute. Strange experience.

The second guy knows about charm and delivery, and executes with purpose. That purpose being, to reflect, “Goddamn, I am a sexy beast. A stylish sniper of love. Excuse me whilst I make 1080p love to myself.”

He is as far from your typical nice guy as he is from your hothead asshole above who calls women bitches at the drop of a hat. But an asshole he is, and the right kind of asshole, the kind that women, the world over, will always and forevermore fall head over haunches for despite their squid-inking claims to the contrary.

DIRECT GAME ESSENTIALS

A reader wants to know if high octane direct game will get a guy laid consistently.

I stumbled onto this post during my normal stroll through the pick up artist forums.

He claims to basically be completely direct with his game. I’ve never heard of people being THAT direct. Telling a girl she’s sexy like that, seems a bit awkward and douchey.

I’m mailing you because I’m curious what do you think? Could being so direct get great results?

I won’t get into a long-winded discussion of the eternal question of direct vs. indirect game here. I’ll save that for future posts. But I will tell you that there are a handful of prerequisites — essentials — that you should abide if you want to see any sort of repeatable success with direct game.

1. Don’t be shitfaced.

Yes, the guy in the field report linked by the reader was intoxicated, and he managed a groping make-out and a number close. But most men, most of the time, are going to get blown out if they approach chicks sloppy drunk while sputtering how “sexxxxxyyy” they are. It’s simply too easy for a girl to brush off a man’s direct come-on if he’s reeking of liquor and slurring his words. Exception: if she’s equally drunk. (Not to say a little liquid courage won’t help. Just don’t drink past the point of self-awareness.)

2. Don’t target the obnoxious attention whores.

These kinds of girls are *expecting* direct solicitations, just so they can relish the shoot down. Counterintuitively, it’s often the more reserved, conservatively dressed girls who are showing a little more skin than they usually do who will crumble like feta cheese under the onslaught of a sexual direct approach. It is a myth that only skanks are DTF. Good girls will jump into the sack just as fast with the right guy spitting the right game.

3. Look for signs of ovulation in your targets.

You should pay more attention to body language than to what she’s saying. Ovulating girls are the ripest picks for one night stands, and you’ll notice by how flushed she is when talking to you, how many times she crosses her legs or shifts her weight from one foot to the other, and how often she licks her lips or tugs at her hair whether her egg has embarked on its journey. Science has shown that ovulating girls tend to show more cleavage and thigh, so keep an eye out for miniskirts and low cut tops.

4. Start direct, then switch to indirect, then back to direct.

Read the linked field report. You’ll notice the guy opens with “You’re sexy as fuck” (which, btw, is NOT an invitation to fuck a la the apocalypse opener), then downshifts to nonsexual rapport and teases her about her dancing skill, and then upshifts to a direct sexual solicitation when body contact between the two of them is at its maximum. This direct-indirect-direct system sustains the direct sexual approach by introducing the variables of male unpredictability and outcome independence, two things which all girls love in men.

5. It’s obvious, but bears repeating: overconfidence is king in direct game.

Any hint — I mean ANY CRUMB of a hint — that your sexually aggressive come-on is a farce, or was pursued with less than full sincerity, and she will blow you out. You have to be doubtless in your desirability, fearless in your attack, and dauntless in your commitment to victory. She smells the faintest whiff of self-doubt, hesitancy or smarmy backpedaling, and you will be pissily rejected.

6. Avoid romantic flattery.

“You’re sexy as fuck” sounds like a cocky compliment from a guy who just wants to jackhammer your pussy. “I have to say you’re really beautiful” sounds like a sycophantic plea from a beta who already dreams about long walks on the beach with you. Which guy do you think a girl is more likely to want to fuck one hour after meeting? You can pull off the latter with alpha body language, but you’re better served maximizing congruency between what you say and how much command you say it with.

7. Be prepared to lead, every second.

A guy who leads a girl everywhere and all the time prevents her from rethinking her desire to sleep with him. A body in motion tends to stay sexually available unless acted upon by a fat cockblock. Never ask. Tell her what you two are doing, and don’t wait for a decision-making caucus to develop. Bar, dance floor, another bar, another bar, alleyway, doorstep. No rest for the horny.

8. Don’t overgame.

Direct game pares down the seduction process to its bare bones. If you start flying off on tangents like “the cube” or storytelling, the raw sexual energy of the direct pickup will dissipate. A girl relinquishing herself to a sexually aggressive man expects it to feel like a power has taken hold over her conscious faculties and she has no defense to his wiles. This is an accelerated zone of seduction where the normal rules get truncated.

***

The relevant question to everyone reading here is, of course: Will I have more success on a more consistent basis with direct game, or with indirect game?

Unfortunately, I can’t answer this reasonable question with conviction one way or the other. My own personal style is indirect, though I have dabbled with direct game, to mixed results. Most of the seduction community practices indirect game, so if popularity is a measure of a game strategy’s effectiveness, then you’d have to give the nod to indirect game. (Direct gamers would counter that indirect is popular with most men because it takes more balls to pull off direct game. They have a point.)

There are other variables that need addressing before we can settle this matter one way or the other.

– Are very good-looking or muscular men better off running direct or indirect game? The answer to this is not obvious.

– What about significantly older men or uglier men or shorter men? Indirect game may limit the number of blowouts experienced by these men. Conversely, direct game may offer them a channel in which to rapidly demonstrate their overconfidence, thus bypassing the reflexive blowout. Again, the answer is not obvious.

– Are there contexts in which direct and indirect game have inherent advantages? My experience is that girls respond better to indirect during the day and direct at night in clubs, but I don’t have a wealth of direct day game data to test this hypothesis.

– Do some kinds of girls respond better to direct? Indirect? Unsurprisingly, a man I once knew who specializes in cougars (it’s not a difficult specialization) says that older women melt for his direct game. Ovulating coke whores with low digit ratios probably swoon for direct game, as well.

Finally, this dichotomy of direct versus indirect may have outlived its usefulness. Thinking on my pickups, it occurs to me that many of them were mash-ups of direct and indirect game. I use the best of both. Then there’s the definitional issue: direct game comes in many forms. “You’re sexy as fuck” is certainly direct, but it’s not an invitation to fuck. There’s plausible deniability of intention in that exclamation. “I want to take you home and fuck you”… now, that’s a direct come-on which leaves no room for hamster-fueling misinterpretation.

And this gets to the heart of the direct-indirect debate: namely, INTENTION. Direct game is the art of communicating your intention to fuck, sooner and stronger rather than later and weaker. Indirect game is the art of transparently concealing your intention to fuck in a cloak of plausible, yet tissue-thin, deniability. Either way, with direct or indirect, a girl whose social IQ is above room temperature and below genius-level autism is going to know you are talking to her because you eventually want to ravage her naked body. Your job, should you choose to accept it, is to determine who among the pretty constellation of hot babes wants their seduction straight up smashmouth style, and who among them wants to experience the sublime thrill of fraught flirtation.

GENERALIZING YOUR WAY INTO HER PANTIES

Reader JB emailed me with a valuable observation about the effectiveness of using generalizations as a game tactic. He read my post “Dread” where I explain the best ways to train your girlfriend so that you maximize love output and minimize shit test incitement:

Ignore her calls for a week. When you eventually answer and she reads you the riot act, act as if nothing was wrong and accuse her of sabotaging a perfectly good relationship, “just like all the other women in this stupid city. I thought you were different”. Hang up on her angrily.

JB wrote:

When I read this I fucking almost spit up my mouthful of coffee. Funny because it’s true. Have you written anything about the powerful effect generalization has on the female psyche? I have used the ‘you’re just like every other girl in this city’ one and BANG! No matter who the girl, no matter the age… she stops cold and finds herself waiting for what I’m going to say next.

Good stuff, keep it up.

Yes, it’s true. Throwing a generalization in the face of a girl you are gaming by accusing her of being “just like all the rest” is a powerful qualification tactic. It will send her into paroxysms of indignation and self-doubt as she works hard to regain your approval.

Maxim #33: NO girl wants to be thought she isn’t a special little snowflake.

Use this thermal exhaust port of female psychology to your advantage. But be careful how you deploy the generalization bomb — its mindfuck megatonnage can blow up chicks’ heads like scanners. There are two ways to laser-guide a generalization straight into the beaver bunker.

Exasperation. See the example above. Can be useful in pickup as well as relationship management — for instance, after she’s started acting up and attempted to find your soft underbelly. In pickup parlance, this would be during the M2F attraction phase. Watch as she spins her wheels trying to prove her uniqueness.

Reverse psychology. Right before you run a routine with her, like palm reading or astrological compatibility, tell her she’s probably like all the other girls in [insert city] and wouldn’t appreciate the deep and profound knowledge you are about to drop on her. If she says “What do you mean I’m like all the rest?!”, you reply “Tell me I’m wrong.”

I don’t just dispense advice, I explain *why* the advice works, stripping away the mystery and spirituality squid ink with the sandblaster of biomechanics, so you can see for yourself the predictability of the human attraction algorithm.

As I wrote in response to Clio in the comments section of this post:

here is what i think motivates the female will to believe that makeup is effective at hiding flaws from the precision guided instrument of men’s visual intake port:

the fear of the immutable.

if you’ll notice, women are the most outraged by the idea of evolutionary psychology and unchangeable genetic fate. that physical beauty should be so unalterable and at the same time so critical to a woman’s prospects for snagging an alpha male of her own sends shivers down her spine. if true, it means they cannot do much to improve their value on the open market. no educational attainment, no career success, no makeup, no exercise [to a point], no hob nobbing with the right people — nothing much matters but for the face they were given when mommy’s egg was fertilized by daddy’s swimmers.

yet, this is precisely how the sexual market works. and so, as the gears of the pretty lie machine clank and sputter to dispense more of its life-affirming self-delusions, the “social conditioning” brigade strikes out at the descending shroud of hopeless darkness.

Generalizations offend women in a way they do not offend men because they breach the perimeter ego defense and strike right at a woman’s core self-conception — her belief in herself as Princess On A Cloud Carried Aloft By Admiring Suitors. If it’s true that her genes account for nearly all her success or failure with the men she wants, then there isn’t much she can do to improve her chances to fulfill her deepest desires. If it’s true (and it is) that men value beauty above all else, then it is logically inescapable that she is, to an unsettling degree, interchangeable with any women who are at or above her level of physical attractiveness.

Women do not want to confront the unpleasant reality of upwardly immutable female sexual market value. (They can certainly go down in market value by bloating up or suffering a facial disfigurement.) Similarly, they do not want to admit they aren’t special. So they fight against it. They hide behind pretty little platitudes and try to correct your misperceptions to the contrary. Deep in the primitive ancestral part of her reptilian brain she fears, justifiably, that if she isn’t a unique creature in your eyes, you may be likely to leave her if a hotter woman blips your radar. FOR INNATE EVOLUTIONARILY MODULATED REASONS, SHE WANTS TO KNOW YOU SEE MORE IN HER THAN HER BEAUTY. You should leverage this female instinct to your benefit.

“So what else do you have going for you besides your beauty?”

If you are the one special suitor who wrings her princess cloud dry and sends her plummeting to earth with a well-timed generalization that belies her uniqueness, she will suddenly find, in violation of the courtship script she was so used to following, an inexplicable urge to seek *your* approval, and demonstrate for *you* how different she is from other women and how you just *have to* see that.

Then, my friend, you will be in the driver’s seat. Zoomzoom.

‘ARE YOU SEEING ANYONE?’

A reader email:

Really loved the “it’s complicated” post, and have found lots of versatile use for it in my life. Thinking about it though, I think it’s most effective with women new to you as opposed to women you have history with. I also don’t think it should be used as a text response. Some of my ex’s will hit me up out of the blue via text, usually playful messages, but sometimes with the direct inquiry “are you seeing anyone?” that only a woman (or clueless beta orbiter) would ask. While “it’s complicated” would now be my default response to a new girl at a bar if she asked the same, I think it sounds too defensive and pandering to an ex, as though you’re trying to hide something from someone who already knows you very well. [Ed: Agreed.] I also think it doesn’t have the same effectiveness if used as a text reply to anyone.

I went with this exchange recently:

aspirational ex-girlfriend: Are you seeing anyone?
(next morning) me: you workin for tmz now?

Good answer. Cocky and funny, jes like da ladeez like it. She also appreciates the haphazard attention to punctuation.

“Are you seeing anyone?” is a common enough question from interested women that the proper handling of it deserves its own post. (Rumor has it there are a lot of sniveling gameless betas who ask women this question when they first meet them. Pitiable creatures.)

If an ex-girlfriend, former fuckbuddy or platonic female friend who you think wants to revisit the good times with you, (or who simply wants to segue from friendship to sex), asks if you are seeing anyone, and you have decided that “it’s complicated” is not the best response, there are alternatives at your disposal.

1. Sincerity

“I’ve been dating someone for a bit, but I can’t say for sure she is the one.”

2. Lying

“No.”*

3. Evasion/Reframing

See: the reader’s reply above. Few women will follow-up an expertly delivered evasion with cunty lawyerly argumentation. This is because women who ask such questions don’t really want to know the unvarnished answer. The question is asked only to give them plausible deniability should they find themselves bedding a taken man.

4. Circumspection

“I’m dating around.”

This is my favorite answer, regardless of its accuracy. First, it shuts down further inquiry. Second, it leaves things open to interpretation.

5. Challenge

“I’m not tied down yet.”

6. Agree & Amplify

“One?”

7. Aloofness

“Nothing serious.”

Also a personal favorite. Girls like to think the guys they desire have no worries about meeting and banging women, or about settling down.

*”No” is not the ideal reply. Because of the power of preselection, you run a better chance of losing her interest if she thinks you are completely single than you do if she thinks you are getting pussy regularly. So even if you aren’t seeing anyone, you should massage your answer so that ambiguity is introduced to the dialectic. Women aren’t put off a man’s scent if he is seeing someone; if anything, they become more like a bloodhound on his trail. The only exception is when the man sings odes of love and devotion to his woman. Competitor women will generally** back off if they see that the man they want is truly, deeply in love with someone else.

**Before the fairy dust, pie in the sky, swoon brigade gets all gushy at this optimistic outlook on the female gender, let me remind the studio audience that I have observed, and experienced, plenty of exceptions to this rule.

Replies that you should avoid:

“Define ‘seeing’.”

Too goofy. Chicks don’t dig the goof.

“Not sure.”

Too indecisive. Chicks don’t dig vacillators.

“Well, I’m fucking someone, if that’s what you mean.”

Too visual and sexual. Chicks don’t dig braggarts.

“I’m married.”

Too final. Chicks need a window of opportunity.

“Aren’t you the nosy one?”

Too slippery and awkward. What are you hiding?

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Too abrasive. If she’s an ex who knows you well, this albeit funny line will close off further exploration.

“Why do you ask?”

Too defensive. Also, why would you step on her hamster right as its revving up for a glorious rationalization to sleep with you?

THE FINE ART OF TEASING

An important facet of game — whether for relationships, flings or pickups — is fluency with the art of teasing. Teasing is such a turn-on for women it’s a wonder it isn’t taught by marriage counselors. (Actually, it’s not a wonder. As the divorce statistics show us, marriage counselors have no fucking clue what works.)

Here’s an example of what I mean by teasing:

ME: Don’t worry. If I got famous I wouldn’t drop you like a hot potato.

HER: Gee, thanks. That’s so sweet.

ME: I’d wait a couple months.

HER: Jerk! *playful punch*

You should be teasing your girlfriend or wife like this nearly every day of her life. Women LOVE LOVE LOVE men who don’t take them seriously. And what better way to convey an aloof disregard for her pride than through teasing?

I’d like to examine the phenomenon of teasing a little more closely. Why, exactly, does it so effectively light up a woman’s arousal bean? After all, teasing is not flattery or compliments. It’s nearer the opposite: teasing is a form of put-down. Compare and contrast the below with the teasing example above:

ME: If I got famous I’d trade up from you to a hotter babe in about two month’s time.

HER: Whaaat?! [angry, hurt]

This example is no different in substance than the teasing example above, yet the latter provokes anger and withdrawal while the former provokes tingles. The key difference between the two interactions lies in the concept of butthurtness.

butthurtness; noun

an emotional state of being characterized by spite, bitterness and/or insecurity; highly toxic to female attraction.

Teasing is the art of delivering ugly truths in a charismatic style that inoculates the teaser against an accusation or perception of butthurtness.

The truth value of whatever you are teasing a girl about is immaterial; it’s *how* you say it that matters. It may very well be true that should you become famous you would dump your girlfriend for a hotter girl, or that her sense of humor sucks, but that’s irrelevant to the way in which such information is conveyed to her. If you can say it with a smirk, and couch your jerkish thoughts in the veneer of playful fun, she will register your demeanor as being one that an alpha male possesses. And this daily revelation will engorge her labia.

If you don’t know how to tease, then your jerkish blurts will be perceived by her as those held by a nasty beta secretly afraid she might leave him.

Teasing is a vital game tactic that serves the dual functions of 1) making relationships and dates less boring, and 2) subtly reminding the girl that you have options and aren’t afraid to risk her disapproval, which is the hallmark of the desirable alpha male swimming in a sea of snatch.

All of this — women’s love for jerks who know how to tease — ultimately reduces to the sexy son hypothesis, which has been explained in previous posts.

THE CLASS CLOWN PUTS HER IN THE MOOD

…for laughing.

I’m not a fan of goofball humor to attract girls. She’ll laugh her way straight into a platonic friendship with you. This is especially true during the critical first few minutes of meeting her when you are trying to get her to ponder the possibility of sleeping with you. Droll, clever humor, dispensed sparingly, is more effective. Playful humor, or teasing, turns girls on as well. Acting like a clown and constantly joking sends a subliminal message to the sex centers of her brain — He’s trying too hard. He must be desperate for female attention.

Self-deprecating humor is the worst kind. Only men possessing the traits that women love can afford to knock themselves down in a humorous fashion. It’s similar to the way wealthy men make sure their philanthropy is reported in the press; it’s a status display that is very attractive to women because it shows he is financially secure enough to absorb a hit to his resources. For most men, though, self-deprecation is beta.

Cheesy humor has its place. It can often work quite well as an opener under the right circumstances. It won’t work in clubs, where loud music and physical jostling compete for a girl’s attention, and where she is already smiling and expecting to be hit on. There, your humor will strike her as a lame come-on. But out on the street, or in a store, during the daytime, weird humor can win you an audition with her. She’s not expecting to be approached, she’s probably in a hurry somewhere, so an offbeat line will put a smile on her face. Distracting a girl from her orderly existence is the first step to fornication. Some lines I have used:

I *love* the way you pour ice cubes into a glass. [spoken to a female bartender]

You jaywalk with a certain grace. [girl had crossed intersection and was standing next to me]

Is there a groom magazine? I can’t get enough of weddings! [to girl reading Bridal Magazine in bookstore. She was single]

Did you just undress me with your eyes? I feel violated. [to seamstress measuring a suit for me]

My puppy ran away with the poolboy. Will you give me a new one? You don’t want to see me cry. [to Adopt-A-Pet girl showing shelter animals on sidewalk]

Rearrange these five straws into something round. [straws are lined up side by side] But you can only move two of them. [waitress makes attempt and fails] Here, let me show you. [I move two straws and make the word TIT]

Slow down! You deserve a chance to check me out. [to girl walking quickly towards me]

I know the girls reading this right now are thinking “if a guy said that to me, I would laugh at him, not with him” but reading about pick up lines on a blog is not the same as hearing it in real time when it’s totally unexpected. Nevertheless, you don’t want to be a stand-up comedian. Those guys are entertainers, not seducers. I wouldn’t use dorky humor as a general purpose opener. It has limited application. The classic openers — asking for her opinion on female-friendly topics, situational observations, flirty cockiness — are staples. They’ll work in almost any scenario.

If you are a woman with a great sense of humor (you do exist, somewhere) I suggest you hide it during the first few dates with a guy. Most men are intimidated by women they’re dating who are funnier than them. And intimidated guys don’t satisfy sexually.

A DEVIOUS TAKEAWAY

Note: what I’m about to write here is not meant for game newbies. Utilize at your own risk.

Takeaways are a very valuable psychological ploy contributing to a player’s seduction prowess. You can read a definition of takeaways here. In short, a takeaway is the act of feigning disinterest in a woman for the purpose of increasing her attraction for you, and thus your likelihood of bedding her. This fake disinterest can be as simple as a backturn, or an unannounced abrupt exit from a conversation. Takeaways are the Swiss Army knives of seduction, as they can be used at almost any point during the pickup, with equal effectiveness. For instance, a takeaway can set the right tempo early on by making a girl chase you for conversation instead of the other way around, or a takeaway can be employed during foreplay to get a girl to drop her last minute resistance to sex.

Takeaways are a very powerful game tactic, for the reason that they are a high risk gamble. (Generally, and as with most things in life, the riskier the game tactic, the higher the reward.) The risk comes in the fact that a girl may very well call your takeaway bluff.

PLAYER: You’re really cool and all. Maybe we should just be friends.

GIRL: Ok.

But when a takeaway works, and the girl bites, you will be amazed at how quickly the status dynamics of the courtship will change. Flipping the script, properly executed, can make gaming a girl seem like outrunning a morbidly obese American woman. You can practically walk to the finish line.

Here’s an especially devious takeaway that I’ve used many times to great effect. Use this on later dates just before the momentum is carrying you both to sexual closure, and only use on girls who are engaging in stalling tactics. In other words, use on “good girls”. (There is a minor subclass of bad girls who will also respond well to this takeaway, which I will explain below.) Basically, what you will be doing is stealing the woman’s prerogative to delay coital finality in the interest of “wanting everything to feel right”.

UNWITTING GIRL: I’m having a really good time.

DEVIOUS YOU: Me too. I’d like to have a drink with you back at my place, but…

UNWITTING GIRL: What?

DEVIOUS YOU: I dunno. I’m trying to turn over a new leaf. I think it means a lot more when things aren’t rushed. Maybe wait a little. You’re the kind of girl I want to take it slow with. Call me crazy, but that’s how I see it now.

Now after this, most likely she will say “Aw that’s so nice” and agree with you. Then you will be left asking yourself, “Hey, I thought this was supposed to work as advertised? She just called my bluff!” Settle down, Anakin. This takeaway works it’s magic on a delayed cycle. Continue the date as usual, and invite her over to your place anyhow. You won’t need an excuse because you’ve already told her nothing will happen. What you’ll notice instead is an increase in her compliance that you would not normally have gotten. Though you “confessed” only hours earlier, in so many words, that you wanted to wait for sex, she will find herself inexplicably moving things faster in the direction of your hidden agenda. The phony virtue takeaway has preemptively disarmed her anti-slut defense. She will rationalize that you are not forcing her to do anything because you’re “not that kind of guy”, and your road to sex will suffer fewer impediments.

Why did I write above that this takeaway is not meant for newbs? Because you need to be banging other girls before attempting such a high risk maneuver. If you are hard-up, your mind, body, and emotions will be incongruent with your spoken words. She will sense something is off about your claimed phony virtue, and she will not only call your bluff, but also lose respect for your now-waning masculinity for trying an end-run around her sexual reticence *and* your own sexual desire.

In addition, some newbs may mistakenly use this takeaway on girls who are already good to go. That’s called overkill. If she genuinely wants it, you won’t need any more mental games. All you’ll need at that point is the balls to lead her where she wants to be.

As I mentioned above, the subclass of girls this takeaway would work on are the badgirl sluts who are practically dragging you to the bedroom. Be careful of the overtly sexual girls; oftentimes their lewdness and blunt physical sexuality are a ruse designed to entrap less alpha men who lack control over their horniness. If you bite too soon or too eagerly, she may lose her desire. If you do manage to bed a badgirl slut on the first date, she is more likely than the typical girl — thanks to the male-like contours of her brain — to lose interest the next morning. For these girls, the phony virtue takeaway is perfect for (re)establishing that she is the one chasing you, and not the other way around. Plus, by stroking her egotistic need to not be noticed for her sluttiness, it will make her feel more special than she really is. Phony virtue game, delivered as sincerely as your acting skills can summon, can turn a one night stand with a slut into a three month fling.

STORYTELLING AKA FIBBING

In the course of your conversation with a woman you want to tell a story about yourself that flips those female attraction switches which Mystery so incisively described as “pre-selection by women, leader of men, and protector of loved ones”. But, honestly, how many men have those kinds of rip roaring yarns to tell which powerfully hit all those girl buttons? If you’re like most men, you likely have not led the life of an international man of mystery.

And of those men who *do* have stories like that to tell, how many of them are able to relay their stories for maximum impact? I’ve known quite a few Marines who spent time overseas in the middle of some crazy shit inexplicably tell their tales in such a way as to render them boring and ineffectual. You have to learn to sell yourself. Sometimes even top notch goods sit moldy on the shelves for lack of marketing and salesmanship.

This is where having a story (or a routine, in old school parlance) memorized and ready for deployment is critical to a man’s success bedding women. There is nothing inherently beta or creepy about memorizing stories from your life to use over and over with different women. Alpha males, indeed, are the biggest violators of the supposed sanctity of extemporaneous jiving. If you’ve ever hung out at upper class parties and the like you’ll notice the top dogs returning to the same well again and again, telling their stories in exquisite detail and precise manner, using almost the same words and cadence each time, because they have learned how to tell their best stories to ensure smiles and squeals of delight from their rapt audience. So go ahead and commit to memory one or two great stories that feature you in a starring role. Like a good Boy Scout, you should always be prepared.

So what does the man without a great story do? Well, my friend, this is where knowledge of the fine art of fibbing will take you far. I’ll illustrate with an example from my own life. Let’s say you have just asked a girl a beaver baiting question like “If you could wake up tomorrow and be anywhere in the world, where would it be?” She gets excited by this question and answers. This allows you to segue into a DHV story like the one from my life below.

THE TRUE STORY

One of my vacations was at a tropical paradise. Sun, sand, waves, fruity cocktails. After an uneventful plane ride, I rented a scooter and rode to the villa I was staying at. I paid a taxi to take my luggage to the same spot. Upon settling in and admiring the ocean view for fifteen minutes, I slathered on suntan lotion and trundled to a small beach alcove known for its nude sunbathers, hoping to peep at boobies and snatch. Once there, a couple of fat Europeans obstructed my view with their bloated nakedness. It turned me off. I moved down the beach away from them and read “A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man”. Not the whole book, just the first few pages. I’m a slow absorbent reader. Then I went in the water and bobbed like a buoy. At 4pm, I walked to the tiki stand and bought a sandwich. On the walk back to the villa, I took a photo of three locals unloading crates from a red and yellow dingy docked at a tiny, empty beach. I watched them for a bit, when one of the gentlemen bounded up the craggy hillside and stopped directly in front of me. He barked at me to “stop taking snaps of my boat, mon.” Momentarily stunned, I looked at him like he was an alien. Finally, I said “Why? It’s legal.” He repeated himself, and threatened to steal my camera. I said “Yeah, sure, whatever” and walked off. Back at the villa, the concierge told me there was a drug running problem in these parts of the island, and that I was lucky not to get knifed. Relieved by my good fortune, I lounged at the pool until I fell asleep.

The next day, I went scuba diving. I was part of an instructional group, since I never scuba dived before. When I first plunged in the water I freaked out for a few seconds before gaining my composure and relaxing enough to breathe properly through the mouthpiece. A barracuda swam by me. It wasn’t very big or threatening. I could have petted it. Later in the afternoon I lounged at the beach again and ate another sandwich. The sandwich was delicious.

Day three. I decided snorkeling was more fun than scuba diving, so I rented some snorkeling gear and floated on top of the azure waters for a few hours watching small iridescent fish swim around. I got a sunburn on my back. I went to a club that night and hit on two French girls. One was interested, but she had a kid and an expensive coke habit.

Day four. More sunbathing. Oh yeah, and I went into town to browse the electronics shops and the ridiculously overpriced French fashion boutiques. I bought some liquor. Back at the villa I made a plate of brie cheese, baguettes, and red wine. The cheese made me gassy.

Day five. I went on a deep sea fishing boat to see how it was done. The waves were huge. I got seasick. My face turned green and I chucked over the side of the boat. The tall skinny black man operating the boat laughed at me. So did the little kid sitting next to me.

Day six. Having had my fill of sunbathing, I caught a ferry to a nearby island known for its excellent and invigorating hiking. The island was a dormant volcano that shot straight up out of the ocean. The hike was exhausting. 3,000 feet up took me all day. I saw a lot of green tropical plants along the way, and a couple of small lizards. I asked someone if the lizards were biters. They weren’t. I was disappointed. On the way down, I stopped at a small store and bought a trinket made of amber from an old, fat black woman.

Day seven. I went back to the same tiki stand, because why mess with success? They had tasty sandwiches. On the plane ride home, I jammed in earphones and listened to music.

***

Now this isn’t a horrible story, but it’s not exactly a panty-dropper, is it?

THE FUDGED STORY INTENDED TO INCITE MAXIMUM GINA TINGLE

[Addressing girl]: Your ideal vacation spot reminds me of the time I went to [tropical island] and wound up with an adventure I hadn’t bargained for. I was chatting with some French girls at this supposedly exclusive nude beach – and by the way, conversations take on a whole new feel when everyone is naked — when a big fat German dude plopped down right next to us. He was blocking out our sun like an eclipse, so we decided to leave. Since they were staying at the same villa I was at, I escorted them home. On the way, I stopped to take a pic of this interesting boat docked at a quiet beach alcove. Suddenly, one of the dudes unloading boxes from the boat bounded up the hillside and yelled at me to “stop taking snaps of my boat, mon!” I said, “What’s it to you” and he lunged at me and pushed a knife to my throat. The two French girls gasped. This was pretty scary. Thinking quickly, I told him that wasn’t a good idea because a bunch of people were walking towards us right at that moment. When he turned around to look, I grabbed one of the girl’s hands and dashed around him to safety just a few hundred yards away. He didn’t chase us. I told the cops about the incident, but as far as I know nothing was done. There’s a drug running problem at that island, and I got caught in the middle of it.

The unexpected adventure didn’t end there. I went scuba diving the next day and a shark that had to be ten feet long swam by me like a torpedo. The locals told me the sharks in those waters are harmless and won’t bother humans, but when you’ve seen them up close like that you don’t really believe all that bullshit. It was thrilling, sure, but I think I prefer watching sharks on TV.

I needed a break from all this unwanted excitement, so after an evening of red wine and French cheese while relaxing in the hot tub, I planned a hiking trip to a remote volcanic island that could be reached by ferry. On the hike up the mountain through thick rainforest and heavy fog, I stumbled across an old rickety shack with a sign outside that offered psychic services. Curious, I stepped inside and was greeted by an old black woman with an incredible accent. I don’t believe in psychic stuff, but I decided to let her read my fortune. Whatever it was, it wasn’t good. She stood up and said the session was over. Then she handed me an amber medallion and said it was a soulstone, which I should only give to a woman I will be with for the remainder of my life, because the woman who receives it will then have a piece of my soul. I still have the stone.

Have you ever gone deep sea fishing? If you do, take anti-seasickness pills. The waves were rocking the boat to the left and right. This boy sitting next to me was leaning over the railing trying to touch the flying fish when he got sick and started to slip over the side. I grabbed the kid before he fell into the ocean and told him to be careful. You’ve gotta wonder where this kid’s parents were just letting him take a deep sea fishing excursion by himself.

After all that, I think I would have been better off just hanging out at Ocean City. But it wasn’t all bad. I picked up some French while I was down there.

***

Pre-selected by women? Nude French girls. Check.

Protector of loved ones? Helped French girls escape drug lord. Check.

Leader of men? Rescued boy from drowning. Check.

Much improved.

Don’t feel bad about fibbing. You are doing the exact same thing a woman does when she attempts to present her mating market value in the best possible light through the use of makeup and coy mannerisms. Seduction is an intricate weave of truth and fiction, and women would have it no other way.

CONTRAST IS KING

Was sent this photo, with the following message:

“First I saw the two barking rats, then I saw the guy walking them. Talk about an odd pairing! The dude had tattoos on his skull, and looked tough. Not like the herb or homo I thought he would be. And there he is, with two runty toy dogs. One of the dogs walked like it had a cucumber up its ass.”

This is an excellent example of someone defying expectations. Does anyone doubt this dude gets laid like gangbusters? I bet his idea of a brothel is the local dog park. And he pays in cloyingly cute toy poodle dollars.

I’ve written before about how important contrast is to your game. Contrast, like its social dynamics cousins, vulnerability game and being unpredictable, is a status signal of alphaness. When women see a man defy convention, or wantonly fuck around with societal expectation, they think “Oh, he must be an alpha, because only an alpha could risk stepping out of line like that.” Or when they hear a man reveal a potentially status damaging vulnerability at odds with his image of strength, they think “He must be really alpha to confess his fear of parrots.”

No, seriously, that’s the way women think. Subconsciously, at least.

Contrast game is also a variety of handicap game, a powerful technique for subcommunicating genetic superiority. Like bright, heavy plumage on a peacock, tattoos signal that a man is so genetically fit (and symmetrical) that he can afford the risk to his health and looks that getting inked with needles will mean for him. Skull tattoo dude in the above photo actually has a double handicap whammy advertising his alpha genetic fitness — he’s enduring both the disfigurement of tattoos *and* the public humiliation of walking two gay ass pooches. (I bet he’s telling the other dude to be careful where he steps.)

How powerful a psychological mindfuck is contrast? Two words:

Susan Boyle.

That ugly broad got on stage and, in the teeth of a hostile, pitying audience, sang the shit out of “I Dreamed A Dream”. Result? Standing ovation, tears flowing like a river, and eight million copies of her debut album sold in the first six weeks. For a more recent example of the contrast phenomenon, check out this video of Janey Cutler, the 80 year old singer who elicits the same reaction from an audience expecting something entirely different.

That, my friends, is the awesome power of contrast. Now imagine what it can do for your notch count.

So, you ask, how do I translate this theme of contrast into practical game advice? I can offer a few suggestions.

If you’re meeting a girl for a dinner after work, and you’re in a business suit, take her to your favorite dive bar or hipster joint after the dinner. She’ll be pleasantly surprised that a professional such as yourself feels just at home in a dump as in a fancy restaurant. (Note: You really shouldn’t be taking girls you haven’t fucked to fancy restaurants.)

Does she think your political views are antiquated? Good. Now take her out to a progressive-oriented art show filled with pseudointellectual revolutionary crackpots. She’ll start to wonder what else about you she doesn’t know.

Speak streetwise, but occasionally drop a big word in your conversation. Intellectual dominance is to smart chicks like physical dominance is to prole chicks.

If you’re a very masculine man, peacock with a feminine accessory, like an ornate bracelet or an earring. If you’re naturally foppish, try wearing masculine accessories, like a big honking watch or combat boots.

Approach a girl like a typical beta, asking her innocuous questions about how she likes living in the city. Once you have lulled her into an anhedonic stupor, hit her with a neg. Consider her look of surprise a step closer to intimacy.

Did you meet a girl online and tell her about your starched shirt job? Then show up to the date wearing something boldly stylish. Her mind will race with thoughts of a secret life you’re hiding from her.

Similarly, if you’re a suit-wearing type of guy, a well-placed tattoo on the inner forearm can do wonders to stir excitement. Just manufacture an excuse to roll up your sleeves, and watch her eyes light up.

Regale her with adventure stories that are completely at odds with her image of you. For instance, if you’re an accountant, mention the time you spent in the Congo with the little-known aid group Accountants Without Borders, and how you budgeted the goats for the local village.

Talk about how you voted for George Bush, then give a buck to a homeless bum you happen to pass by while walking with her. (Alternatively, you could reverse this sequence if you want to crush the girl’s hopes. After sucking up to her no-doubt SWPLian worldview, offhandedly announce after sex how you recently joined the NRA “to get some shootin’ practice for the big game animals you like to hunt”.)

Contrast is the reason why ugly guys can sometimes do better with women than handsome guys. A handsome man is expected to have his act together in all other ways; in comparison, nothing much is expected of ugly men. So an ugly man who spits tight game will pleasantly surprise a woman while a good looking man with game will simply confirm what she already believed to be true. And when it comes to making an impression on women, which man do you think she’ll remember more? That’s right, the man who surprised her out of her lazy thinking.

All humans want to be fascinated. Kurt Cobain had it right — here we are now, entertain us. Men are entertained by tits, ass and face. Women are entertained by male charisma and psychosocial savviness. They want to be kept on their toes, forever wondering what kind of man you are. Defying a woman’s expectations is the equivalent of a big-boobed woman taking off her sweater and shoving her cleavage in a man’s face. Her fond memory of you will linger well into the next day.

MIXING SIGNALS TO DAZZLE WOMEN

Mixing your signals — aka obfuscating your intentions — is a powerful holistic technique to arouse interest in women, the class of beings who strangely desire more that which gives the least interest in satisfying their desires.

The status signals (and, really, are there any other kind of signals that matter in the least bit when a man is interacting with a woman?) that men display can be broadly categorized into body language and verbal communication.

Body language comprises a host of nonverbal mannerisms and displays, from the way a man walks, to his dress, his facial expressions, to how he moves his limbs, and even to how he stands or holds a glass. Verbal communication is the words that come out of a man’s mouth, and the way in which he says them, in hopes of creating a desirous spark in an attractive woman.

Most men focus on the words they say, because the impact of a man’s body language on women’s senses is both poorly understood and intangible relative to the impact that he thinks his words carry. Body language is therefore relegated to acting in concert with subconscious feelings of self-worth; for this reason, body language can be a man’s worst enemy if he is unaware how his mannerisms betray his hidden emotional state.

Verbal communication is thus overrated and body language underrated by men. The upshot to this formula is that men can chill a bit on the pressure to say the right thing, if they work to adjust their body language so that it does most of the talking for them.

Mixing signals is the art of telling/showing a woman one thing, while showing/telling her another. There are four permutations of body language and speech that are possible when approaching women, only two of which involve mixed signals.

1. Direct Body Language (DBL) + Direct Verbal Communication (DVC)

You make a bold statement of intention with both your body motions and your words. Example:

Walking slowly toward a woman, holding eye contact the whole way, stopping in front of her, pausing for effect, and with a low, deliberate tone of voice, saying, “I’d regret it forever if I didn’t come over and see if you are the type of woman I want to get to know better.”

2. Indirect Body Language (IBL) + Indirect Verbal Communication (IVC)

You engage a girl with a seemingly innocuous statement about some peculiarity in your shared environment, and comport yourself like you have another place to be and she just happens to be there to listen to you. Example:

Looking over your shoulder at the girl, turning your body to partially face her, one foot pointed in another direction, rocking back on your heels as you speak, glancing once or twice at some faraway object, and with a neutral tone of voice, saying “If the bookstore weren’t so full of poseurs, we might have a chance to get a book within the next hour.”

3. DBL + IVC

You make a bold statement of romantic intention with your body and facial expressions, while speaking neutrally so as to suggest you are not interested in hitting on her. Example:

Directly facing the woman, positioning yourself so that eye contact is unavoidable and escape is limited, occupying her personal space, you ask in an unthreatening, bland tone of voice, after a mood-heightening silent pause, if she can direct you to the nearest toy shop so you can buy a gift for your niece.

4. IBL + DVC

You verbally communicate your romantic interest while your body language bespeaks disinterest. Example:

Body rocking, feet positioned as if you are about to walk off, approaching at an angle with shoulders turned halfway outward, eyes surveying your environment, you open her directly with a strong sexual vibe that belies your mannerisms.

Which of these styles of interaction is best? That’s hard to say, because the style that works best depends in some measure on the skill of the womanizer. A sexually needy man who experiences bouts of nerves when cute girls are near stands a good chance of being perceived as incongruent in his words and behavior if he tries to directly open a girl while comporting himself as if he’s too cool for school. Similarly, an experienced player with rock solid confident body language who masks his intentions under a flurry of misdirecting banalities may strike a girl as a coward who is too skittish to say what’s on his mind.

However, this contextual problem aside, I believe a useful generalization about the effectiveness of the different approach styles can be made.

Eric Disco comments:

This is essentially what most guys do when they attempt to be indirect, they are indirect with their words (“How do you get to Starbucks?”) but then they are very direct with their body language–mainly eye contact and body orientation. They face her and give her lots of eye contact, looking at her continuously, as if they’ve just spotted a rare bird. From my experience, instead of combining the best of both worlds, this combines the worst.

When you’re direct, it shows balls. The drawback is that you are betraying a lot of interest, which lowers your value and makes you seem like less of a challenge. When you combine an indirect verbal opener with direct body language, you betray interest but don’t show any balls at all.

Once you’re in the interaction with her, you can start to show more interest physically, once she’s earned it. You can be more sexual with your eye contact, etc. But if you’re going to open indirect, then be indirect. Don’t betray too much interest. Act like she just happened to be there and so you said something to her. If you’re going to walk across a room/park just to talk to her, then show some balls. Go direct.

Eric is onto something. The DBL + IVC style is probably the riskiest strategy for the average man to pull off. It’s too easy to come across like a suave dude who can’t go the extra distance and just ask the girl out. I bet a lot of you good-looking guys who read this blog have this problem.

Any kind of situation which necessarily calls for a direct approach — say, walking across a park or large room in full view of your target so that she is under no illusion why you are moving in on her — would benefit from a direct style verbal opener. You can still go indirect in these circumstances, but you had better be a master at manipulating women’s expectations so that your value remains at a constant high level compared to them.

Men new to the stealthy art of seduction are best served learning pickup by employing the IBL + IVC style. This is, in fact, what most pickup artists teach their acolytes. The typical woman prefers the indirect approach from the typical man, and the inexperienced man is not going to possess the degree of self-amused state control that is required to successfully pull off direct approaches. The newb will need gradual indicators of interest from women to build up his confidence levels to a point where he is comfortable risking more on direct openers and interactions of powerful sexual intention.

Then, too, the newb can get a better grasp of gauging a woman’s “buying temperature” by adjusting his body language from indirect to direct and back to indirect, as opposed to the more difficult route of direct to indirect back to direct. It’s easier to maintain plausible deniability with the former than with the latter.

So, I’d say IBL + IVC is optimal for younger men and less experienced men. This is not a mixed signal strategy at the outset, but it can be farther along in the process when it is simpler to incorporate different verbal and nonverbal tactics.

Where it gets interesting is the IBL + DVC strategy. This can potentially be the most powerful approach technique wielded in the right hands. Such a man is perceived as having the conviction of his words, but simultaneously sending barely perceptible signals that his interest level is waning, or that he’s hard to keep engaged. Naturals tend to this style, and the classic archetype is the devil-may-care badboy who speaks of lustful things to a girl while his eyes wander around the room scanning for fresh meat.

Generally, though, mixing signals is a technique best left for experts. The risk of mood-killing incongruence is very high, and I’ve seen far too many enthusiastic men muck it up when they couldn’t sufficiently manage the inherent discrepancy between their words and their mannerisms.

YaReally makes the inarguable point that, once a certain level of inner confidence is achieved, it doesn’t really matter what kind of approach style a man uses.

The PUA community used to think you needed solid indirect openers to open. Then we found out you could go direct. […]

Now we understand that you can open with anything, as long as what you open with comes from a place of self-amusement and congruency.

When you think “How should I open this girl?” you’re essentially thinking “What can I say/do to earn this girl’s validation?” and you’re already coming from a frame of having lower value than her.

When you think “What I’m saying is gold, of course she’ll love me, I’m so awesome!” you’re essentially screening her for “Is she cool enough for me to let her hang with me?” and you’re coming from a frame of having higher value than her.

Girls generally pick up on this subconsciously, because they’ve spent their lives having to learn to quickly assess “is this person being genuine/honest with me or are they trying to get something from me?”

A lot of why “Who lies more?” worked so well was because the guys learning it felt like they found the secret invincible formula, so when they approached with it they were approaching from that “This is going to blow her mind, of course she’s going to love me” frame.

Direct worked because the guys who tried it were sick of going indirect and beating around the bush and wanted to just get their intentions out in the open so they were just saying “HEY. You’re cute, I’d kick myself if I didn’t come say hi.” and expecting it to work, so it did.

Some of you may be asking, “Doesn’t YaReally’s advice contradict the study you just posted about how indirect, innocuous openers are best?”

Good question! Superficially, yes. But you’ve got to understand that most of the men involved in these studies have no game, have never heard of game, and likely wouldn’t understand the concept of congruence if you whacked them over the head with it. These studies examine the responses of women to the behavior of the *average, no-game-having* man, and in that context, indirect is best. Since that context is most contexts, it is good advice to follow for most men. Men who have been exposed to a new way of thinking about women and seduction are better equipped to pursue different approach strategies that streamline the process and maximize their lay rates.

TRUMPED-UP CHARGES

Women love to bitch and moan about their men. It’s in their blood. But it matters not, most of the time. As long as you smite her heart with your heraldic war pike of forged steel alphaness, her bitching and moaning will waft into the ether, having no influence whatsoever on her desire to cling to you. In fact, bitching and moaning is often a sign that the woman is deeply in love, for such a powerfully debilitating emotion ushers forth a fusillade of half-hearted complaints as a grounding mechanism to steady her so that she can make at least semi-cogent rationalizations why she can’t get enough of your assholery.

There is, however, a time and context when the complaints carry more weight. This is usually right near the end of a relationship, when she has already checked out and is now trying to wriggle free without confronting the real reasons why she feels no tingle. You will know this is happening because complaints you rarely heard before suddenly come out of nowhere, and with increasing frequency. Her bitching, too, will take on a serious cast, and the playfulness with which she needled you before will be gone, replaced by a somber recounting of grievous faults. You will almost picture her wearing a green eyeshade as she ticks off your bothersome habits that, for reasons unclear to your formulaically analytical male mind, she finds irredeemably annoying what once she thought charming, and evidence that you are unsalvageable as a boyfriend.

“You’re late all the time.”

“I hate they way you kiss with the side of your lips.”

“You never got me anything nice.” (You’ll notice girls using an out-of-place past tense when you have been mentally demoted to ex-lover.)

We here at the Chateau know the reason why she has morphed into a human resources department assistant manager: you lost your alpha mojo. Her complaints, more often than not utterly baseless trumped-up charges, are simply mediums through which she contextualizes your emerging betatude. She cannot fathom the subtleties of character deficiency and behavioral emasculation that turn her off, but she can wrap her frazzled hamster around the one time you were ten minutes late picking her up from the train station. And since a woman’s memory for trivial details rivals a quad core CPU, you can expect that she will remember retroactive annoyances from five years ago that today serve as convenient nitpick fodder to justify the torrent of hypergamous preprogramming that propels her away from your domesticated ass.

Happily for you readers, the Chateau is a one stop shop for all your relationship management needs. We don’t just diagnose the problem; we give you solutions. So what do you do when the end is nigh and the bitching has evolved into a stone cold staff meeting? Whatever you do…

DON’T ENGAGE HER LOGICALLY.

Women are probably capable of some rudimentary logical thinking in a pinch, but it isn’t their default mental algorithm, and they won’t like having to be logical when they could defer to their insanely precocious feeeeelings instead. So when you engage a woman logically, assaulting her with the facts and bolstering your case, you are actually signing your own notice of dismissal. In the court of love, fairness is a fleeting proclamation and evidence an obstacle to be tampered with on the way to the Siberian celibacy camps.

“You’re late all the time.”

“No, I’m not. Once or twice, maybe. But do you remember me being on time for the house party last week?”

BAD.

“You’re late all the time.”

“You would be too if your ten other girlfriends were constantly bugging you.”

GOOD.

“I hate the way you kiss with the side of your lips.”

“I don’t do that. You’re just making shit up.”

BAD.

“I hate the way you kiss with the side of your lips.”

“Next time I’ll aim for your ear.”

GOOD.

“You never got me anything nice.”

“Sure I did. What about that cashmere sweater I got you for your birthday?”

BAD.

“You never got me anything nice.”

“Fuck you. That bag of Skittles cost me an arm and a leg.”

MOST EXCELLENT.

The above are merely suggestions for dealing with the red flags of rationalization bitching. Many game strategies are available to you, and all are good in their own way. The point of this post is that under no circumstances should you ever take a woman seriously in relationship matters, unless she is waving a small white stick with a pink tip in front of you.

Even then, proceed with caution.

WHEN TO MOVE IN FOR THE KISS ON A FIRST DATE

Shaft writes:

I’d like your thoughts on a recent date I had.

We were introduced through family. [Ed: Never a good idea if you play the short game.] We went on one date and it went well. Started 10 PM and didn’t end until 530AM.

Conversation was free and easy and I escalated slowly throughout the evening, although I didn’t push hard enough. When I needed to demonstrate value I did. When I told her to follow she obeyed. I dropped some good negs. I had problems with my ATM card but she had no problem paying until I straightened them out (we visited 4-5 venues) without a fuss. We said our goodbyes.

The second date is the one I’d like you to comment on. It was the next day and I called her and invited her out for drinks. She told me she’d call me after dinner and kept her word. She sounded surprised to hear from me so soon but didn’t hem or haw and we met within a half hour. This time we found a pool hall and I displayed my superiority while gently negging her.

HER: Am I really the worst pool player you’ve ever seen?

ME: It’s kind of tough to call. I knew this blind guy who liked to play…

She liked that one.

We moved to a lounge which had couches and single chairs. I guided her to a loveseat and she didn’t protest.

I spread out alpha style and put my arm up on the back, almost around her. We chatted for a while, light touching, teasing. She went to the bathroom and this is when the shit test started. I hadn’t had a real one so far that night or on the first date.

I noticed that after she returned from the bathroom another button on her shirt was undone and her hair was a little more tousled than before. She began by complementing my overall physique, but she then started to ask why I wore my clothes a little more loosely than usual. I told her it was for comfort. She told me she couldn’t tell whether or not I was in shape. As I was wearing a polo and an undershirt she said she could better judge if I removed the polo.

Let me say that a year ago I might have complied to a request like this without hesitating, but after some game research and restoring my manly dignity, I do not perform for women, nor do I give something for nothing. Nor would I be embarrassed about what she would see. I don’t have a six pack but I’m tall, lean, with wide shoulders and v-shaped back.

I decided to see if she would put her money where her mouth was and told her if she wanted it she would have to kiss me. She said no. Right then I knew it was about control. If she had wanted an excuse to escalate she had it. I reframed by teasing her she didn’t impress me with her sales skills (she’s in sales). That bought me time to pay
and walk her out of the bar and home. It was about a forty minute walk. We had a good convo pretending to bargain over the price to see me without the outershirt.

Halfway to her place I asked her if she could do me a favor. I took off my jacket and tossed it to her. “Can you hold this for me? I’m warm.” The smile on her face was priceless. She thought she was about to get what she wanted. A few minutes later when handing me back the jacket, she made an attempt to lift up my shirt. I gently stopped her hands and feigned disappointment that she would resort to trickery. The rest of the walk home I kept about half a step ahead.

As we reached her door I slowed but didn’t stop and said my goodbyes as I turned to continue home. She looked stunned that I didn’t hug her or peck her on the cheek. It was cordial but minimal with no contact.

As I walked away I was proud of myself for not selling out to desperation. My gut told me following an order for her would have spelled doom, but I know I missed an opportunity somewhere. Would she say yes to another date?

Appreciated,
Shaft

Even though this question from the reader is about his second date, the title of the post is about moving in for the kiss on the first date, since it is the first date when you should get physical with a girl. The majority of kiss-less first dates lead nowhere. It is also a bad idea to schedule a second date the very next day following the first date. This reader was one of the fortunate few to dodge some self-inflicted seduction-killing obstacles. The rest of his game — such as the handling of her shit tests — was good, and probably accounted for her continued interest.

Here are some basic rules about kissing on the first date:

Do not kiss her when you meet her at the start of the first date. You are not as debonair or as European as you think you are, and neither is she. A kiss upon meeting is going to feel awkward for her and for you. This goes even in those first date cases where you previously had a sloppy make-out with her in the bar on the night when you scored her digits. Actually, it goes doubly for those instances. (Previous sloppy bar make-outs reveal your hand, so your job should be to temporarily disqualify yourself so she doesn’t think you are too easy.)

Do not kiss her at the end of the first date unless there was significant physical contact during the date. Multiply the awkwardness of the initial meeting kiss by ten and you will know the feeling of planting a night-ending wet one on a girl at the end of a date that was woefully free of any physical connection.

Do not attempt to force a nonexistent rapport by kissing the girl. This rule applies for any date, but its disregard is most evident on the first date. Many men will try to light a fuse in their dates by moving in for the kiss sans any physical groundwork, incorrectly thinking that their shared sterling, intellectual conversation was proof enough that she was ready for kissing. They are then flummoxed when she delivers the cheek turn, the “whoa, not so fast” rejoinder, or, worse, the “what do you think you’re doing?” lawyerspeakshut-down. Instead of the smooth move these men imagined in their heads it would be, they end up lurching clumsily from chit chat at a four foot distance to a lips-probing kiss flying in at the speed of light. Kissing is an emergent property of successfully executed game; it is not a standalone game maneuver that you can run in any context. If you haven’t escalated physical touching with a girl during a date, don’t think that a kiss after three hours of arms-crossed shop talk will advance the seduction.

Do not go for the first date kiss in a crowded room. Venue bounce, drink, venue bounce again, settle into a sofa at a lounge, make out. Most girls lie to themselves that they are “not that kind of girl”; why give a girl an excuse to test her self-delusions by moving in for the kiss where a huge crowd can analyze the depravity of her sluttiness?

The ideal first date kiss should happen sometime in the middle of the date. Kino escalation, growing intimacy, then kissing, followed by a cooling off push-away, more light banter, reinitiated kino, etc… if you can physically peak in the middle to last third of the date, you will leave her wanting more while simultaneously avoiding the dreaded last minute kiss of desperation that poisons so many dates. Mid-date physical peaking also prevents ASD (anti-slut defense).

So to sum up, don’t kiss at the very beginning or the desperate end of a first date, don’t force a kiss if she isn’t giving indicators of interest, escalate physical contact until you ideally begin kissing her in the middle to last third of a date, and wait to kiss her when you’re settled into an intimate location (this includes a back alley if the weather is warm).

Caveat: If you are going for a bust-or-bail first date same night lay, kiss her whenever the fuck you feel like it. An end-of-official-date kiss is simply a prelude to a beginning-of-unofficial-date night of fornication.

The ideal kiss window should open effortlessly if your game is tight. Girls who are being seduced properly *want* to be kissed. Always check for dilating pupils, hair twisting, leg opening, lip licking, heel dangling, head cocking, bar stool swiveling, drink swilling, incidental thigh touching, and hand on chin head propping.

To the reader: it’s hard to know if she’ll agree to a third date based on how you described the second date ending. It looks like you fell into the trap of overgaming to compensate for some fuck-ups you may have done on the first date, and to reestablish hand after she denied you the kiss when you playfully challenged her to one. In your zeal to demonstrate non-neediness, you forgot that you have to make a physical move on a girl to get the ball rolling toward sex. There is a fine line between slyly camouflaging your intentions and showing no intention at all. Two dates have now gone by without any kissing or intimate touching, from what you have written. This is a recipe for a seduction about to fizzle.

What you did by nonchalantly walking off was probably better than ending the date on an awkward goodnight cheek kiss where she held all the cards, but you shouldn’t have put yourself in that situation to begin with. Had you prepped the courtship by kissing her earlier in the evening (let’s say during drinks at the lounge), the date-ending goodbye would not have been a test of wills pitting your aloofness against her coyness. Sure, by unexpectedly denying her the long-awaited goodbye kiss of prostration you may have won the battle, but you lost the war well before your tepid final flanking maneuver.

In the future, push for kissing by the middle of the first date, but don’t overdo it. Making out with a girl for too long and too hard on the first date — again, unless you are gunning for a SNL — will gradually lower your value and, hence, raise her buyer’s remorse, leading to flaking on subsequent dates. The perfect seduction moves two steps forward, one step back. No kissing = celibate LJBF. Too much kissing = flaking. Ideal kissing = mid-date, in measured doses. You want to break the lip barrier without making a spectacle of your horniness.

Always remember that the alpha male demonstrates by his actions complete mastery over his sexual desire, and knows when and how to parcel it. A man with simmering, feral arousal that he can control is intoxicating to women. This is why make-outs followed abruptly by takeaways or teasing push-offs is so attractive to women — they love that they can’t figure out how much you really want to fuck them.

When you kiss on the first date, stop before she does, lean back to talk some more, and chastise her lightly for moving too fast. Repeat a couple times during the night, then hold her hand as you walk her home. Kiss her *before* you get to her door, then drop her off about twenty feet from her place (to reduce the impression of formality that surrounds a door-step departure), giving her a hug if you wish. Then tell her you had a great time AND LEAVE. Do not tell her you’ll call her, or try to set up a second date. Just leave, and she’ll thank you later, in the best way women know, for blessing her happily restless sleep that night with the inscrutability of your actions.

‘GET LOST’

Most girls avoid inciting confrontation. But some girls are constitutionally nasty. All girls can occasionally be nasty if they are pushed hard enough (or PMSing hard enough). American girls are getting manlier and, hence, nastier, so the occasions you will encounter nastiness from a girl in America and her Western satellites are likely increasing in frequency.

Some things a nasty bitch will utter are so grating you feel impelled to haul back and send her to the moon. “Get lost” is one of those things. Of course, you don’t want to do this. Not only will it result in a white knight brigade gang-tackling you in hopes of receiving a pat on the back from some fat hog in flip-flops, it will kill your pickup momentum.

The best answer to female nastiness is calm. As long as your demeanor is calm and you look unflustered, you will knock a nasty cunt off her game plan. She’s expecting one reaction; you’re giving her another.

Calmness is essentially non-reactiveness. When you react, you accede, implicitly or explicitly, to your antagonist’s frame. When you react, you confess defensive insecurity, even if objectively you are not, because perception is all that matters in seduction. Defensiveness is the biggest game-killer, outside of supplication. If you ever observe naturals or experienced players hitting on women, one thing you’ll notice they all have in common is a complete and total lack of defensiveness or supplication. The non-neediness and self-certainty of the inveterate player are so ingrained that he couldn’t be otherwise if he tried.

So, to sum up, when you encounter shocking nastiness from a girl:

Stay calm

Don’t react

Announce your preferred intention

Number 1 is very hard to do if you are a young man full of impulsivity and heavy balls. But it comes with practice. Hot emotions can be corralled and channeled, just like yogis can train themselves to focus inwardly and feel less pain.

Number 2 can be mastered simply by willing yourself to pause for a second or two in mental silence before responding to a girl who has attempted to get under your skin. The pause of alphaness is a powerful technique, and will help you gather your thoughts and keep a poker face. It is also very unsettling to your opponent.

Number 3 is reframing. This is where you apply the proper tension with the words you choose to relay to her. A substitution of her tacit demands with your alternative preference implies your indifference and perhaps mild annoyance. You are not angry or spiteful. You are condescending.

So, for example, a girl says this to you:

“Get lost.”

You would ideally respond with this:

“No, I think I’ll stay right here.”

No anger, no spite, no sulking, no defensive flailing. Just a calm iteration of fact and an imposition of your will on the world, wrapped in an unmovable frame.

If she really hates you, she’ll mutter something like “fuck you” under her breath and walk off, which is the equivalent of taking her ball home and declaring victory. But the perception will be that you will have won, standing your ground like an unflappable mofo. A small measure of self-satisfaction will materialize in a smirk on your face. It’s these little victories that add up to a rich, fulfilling life.

If she doesn’t really hate you, and was just being bitchy because bitch, her reaction will be an amalgam of surprise, indignation and intrigue. All these reactions are better than the alternative, because they all mean her frame has been broken and subsumed into yours. Great love often germinates in such difficult soil.

Now I know some of you are incredulously asking yourselves, “So an alpha male is never supposed to get angry, even when such anger is fully justified?”

No, I didn’t say that. An alpha male should favor being proactive over reactive. What this means in practice is that anger is best displayed intermittently, infrequently, and unexpectedly. It is also best used when its usage is personally advantageous. The rules of the sexual market are not guided by principles of fairness; an angry defensive outburst moves you no closer to your goal of pleasure, and usually moves you further from it.

Bitchiness should be answered first with bemused calm, which steals the bitch’s thunder and robs her of the satisfaction of provoking the expected butthurt response. Preternatural calm and steadfast state control will induce in the bitch complacency, guard-lowering, and second thoughts, from which a seduction may move forward, or from which you may lower the war hammer of ego smiting. Give the bitch room to bitch, implant in her the impression that you aren’t easily provoked and might even be worth getting to know, and then, when she least expects it, reveal the awesome glory of your disgust with her as a person.

Dishing out unforeseen comeuppance is almost as satisfying as sex. But it’s a long game, for those who have the patience and discipline to master not only the egos of others, but one’s own ego.

HOW TO HANDLE FEMMES FATALES

ONE

Clio wrote an informative and entertaining series of posts about the taxonomy of femmes fatales — those irresistible women who will do a man no good if he leaves himself ignorant of and defenseless to their machinations. I’ve decided to do a counterpost explaining to men how to guard themselves against the four main femme fatale types as described by Clio, based on my experiences with women who fell into one or the other category.

The Golddigger

The gold-digger is the classic female heartbreaker, the one everyone except a few feminists loves to hate. She is not a prostitute: although she marries for money she does not have sex for money. […]

In fact, the chief characteristic of this type of female heartbreaker is her ruthlessness in pursuit of what she wants. She has to be careful not to fall in love, because it would cloud her judgment and because the type of man she requires is likely to be frightened by displays of emotional desperation and put off by neediness.

While the golddigger’s ultimate goal is marriage to a wealthy man, she will have sex with rich guys as long as the trinkets and baubles flow. Because payment for her services is not so direct, often coming days or weeks later instead of being left on the endtable by the bed, she is able to delude herself into believing she is not a common whore. But absent love, she is ideologically indistinguishable from her streetwalker cousins. She’s simply smart enough to secure payment without a pimp middleman, and to do it from one or two smitten sources instead of a carousel of johns.

The way to handle a golddigger is to establish your terms of courtship early on, before she has had a chance to suck you into her reality. You really want to sniff out the golddigger quickly, because if you don’t have the money, or you do have the money but don’t want to buy a woman’s love with it, then you’ll want to waste as little time dating golddiggers as possible. Without game, you’ll never change them. The good news is that it’s a simple matter tricking a golddigger to reveal her true inner whore.

The secret is this: Golddiggers target wealthy but gameless greater betas and alphas who deal with women in a very traditional and conventional manner — i. e. buying her drinks and taking her to fancy dinners on the first date. These are the kind of men who work all their lives to eventually purchase arm candy they can bring to cocktail parties. You can jolt the golddigger right out of her utilitarian programming by QUALIFYING HER. For example, you must make clear early on you don’t buy drinks for women and, in fact, if she’s cool, you’ll let her buy a drink for you. Another effective tactic for exposing the golddigger and putting her on the hot seat is to remark on her good taste in clothes or jewelry (golddiggers love when you share their materialistic worldview) and then say without a hint of irony that it’s a good thing you dressed up for the occasion and wore your best watch — while pointing to the Swatch on your wrist. If she laughs or compliments your watch, you have a shot to convert her. If she takes you seriously and looks around the room annoyed or cackles sarcastically, you can escape on a “bathroom break” and leave her with the check.

The golddigger is not used to the tables being turned like this. Indignantly, she will either leave in a huff or become surprisingly intrigued by your chutzpa. You win no matter which path she chooses. She leaves; you’ve now avoided spending money on a de facto whore without the integrity to put out quid pro quo on the first date like an actual whore. She stays; you have broken her and ensured her attraction for you will be genuine.

The more ruthless the woman, the bolder and more alpha you have to be in your dealings with her. An attractive and successful golddigger — and they are usually 8s and up; less attractive golddigger wannabes are simply not in the field of view of rich men — requires the utmost boldness. Beta nerds who have made a lot of money in the tech field should not attempt to tangle with them. They will be chewed up and left more misogynistic than they were before they met her.

The only time it is acceptable to play by a golddigger’s rules is when you don’t mind spending the money for access to sex with a hotter women than you could normally acquire relying on just your personality and charm. There are many men like this, so the golddigger is here to stay. I estimate their numbers in the general population of bangable women at around 15%.

One thing you have to remember about golddiggers — they are not that smart. Don’t confuse ruthlessness for smarts. Being base, corporeally-centered creatures with a crass understanding of the sexual market, they are easily manipulated into behaving by the standards you set for them as long as your game is tight. Shock and awe is how I would describe the game you need to break their will.

Btw, it is possible for a golddigger to fall in love with a man based solely on his money. Cash is a form of power, and women are universally attracted to male power in whichever form it comes. Beware: If she fell in love with you for your money, she’ll fall out of love with you twice as fast if the money disappears. Hopefully for you, by that time, she’ll be a has-been cougar and have no options but to deal with your gameless, poor ass.

The Waif/Neurotic

There is the more vocal Neurotic type, who is probably very intelligent and a high achiever (think Plath, left, or Wurtzel, bottom left, both excellent students), who probably suffers from depression and will do her best to ensure that you do as well; and there is the Waif, who is more obviously fragile in appearance than the neurotic, less verbal, less likely to be an academic success, and more drawn to the visual arts than to writing. What they have in common is that they suffer, and use their pain to hold on to their men. […]

Forget worrying about gold-diggers, men. It’s these ladies who will find a way to make you miserable every time. The ones on the Neurotic end of the spectrum will wear you out trying to take care of them when they’re sick; worry you to death with threats of suicide; make an idiot of you as you try to amuse them with silly jokes or make them feel loved with romantic gestures; persuade you spend all your time and money trying to make them happy. None of it will ever be enough. And then they will leave you for someone else, or have to go for drug or alcohol treatment, or decide that they need to be on their own for a little while.

The Waifs won’t expect you to spend much money, and they tend not to demand as much attention as Neurotics, but if annoyed with you they will give you the silent treatment, drifting around sadly with huge eyes, attracting other men, and suddenly leave you for one. Like Neurotic heartbreakers, Waifs tend to develop drug or alcohol problems, but theirs may be more serious, as they don’t have the same level of self-discipline as their Neurotic sisters. They won’t threaten suicide verbally, but you might come home to find one of them half-dead from an overdose. Lots of drama with these women. […]

One caution I want to make is that not all Neurotic or Waif women are heartbreakers. It’s a special type of Neurotic or Waif who is also a fatale, who learns to use sexual conquest as a temporary antidote to unhappiness.

We all know these types — think any role played by Winona Ryder or Gwyneth Paltrow. I agree with Clio, these women are more dangerous than golddiggers because they wield their feminine power with subtlety and innocent sincerity. Their coin of the realm is fragile femininity and emotional manipulation, as opposed to sex for resources barter. If you are a man who likes his girls girly, you won’t know what hit you until it’s too late and you’re in with both feet and all your heart.

The only way to learn to deal with the waif and neurotic is through experience. It’s hard to teach a man to temper his protective instinct. A waif who connects with a man’s heart and pride enslaves him more than the golddigger who connects through his loins and wallet.

The solution to the emotionally manipulative waif/neurotic is to call her bluff. I once had a girl threaten to kill herself as she sat on the edge of my bed, spastically emptying desk draws for bottles of pills she could swallow. The normal man would crumble and attempt to alleviate her pain and tears with his comfort and listening ability. WRONG. This will only embolden her to greater future outbursts. Instead, I opened the window and told her to jump, it’ll get the job done faster. It worked. She cursed and stormed out, only to return, humbled, a couple days later.

Warning: Sometimes she will actually go through with it and kill herself. Be strong. Her mental weakness is not your moral crisis. You have just saved yourself years of heartache dealing with her recurrent emotional breakdowns.

Don’t get caught up in the waif’s exploitative exhibitions. You are the oak tree, strong and rooted. Let her flail away; you are immoveable. When she sees her tawdry drama and passive-aggressiveness is having no effect on you, she’ll fall deeper in love. Remind her in the strongest terms that her happiness depends on herself, not you. Tell her that she must understand her low self-esteem is no excuse for her shitty behavior and you have little patience for it. You will not be there to validate her ego. Flirt ostentatiously with other women so she knows you can leave at a moment’s notice. Rinse and repeat, and marvel as she learns to manage her worst excesses so as not to disappoint you.

You will have to PUSH AWAY a waif to get her to come closer to you. Consoling her, protecting her, and drawing her tighter into your orbit will work to do just the opposite of what you intended — push her into the arms of another sucker man.

There is really nothing more annoying or frustrating than a waif giving you the silent treatment and allowing other men to flirt with her in front of you. Often, the frustration is precisely because she does not know what she is doing to you. I’ve found the best way to deal with these situations is to confront the waif in clear and calm terms and let her know you are aware what is going on. To wit:

“You’re attitude is telling. If you have something on your mind, you should let me know, or go home now. I will only allow women into my life who are capable of getting past their egos and meeting me with an open heart. Improve yourself, or leave. There are plenty of men who will gladly put up with your shit.”

If this doesn’t shake the waif out of her manipulative malaise, nothing will. And for girls who flirt with other guys in your presence, you have two options: Fight flirting with flirting, or confront her, as I explained above. Showing complete indifference to her provocations will work short term, but fail long term. You’re better off sparking her lust for you by flirting with other women in return, because waifs respond to drama, their own or yours. Otherwise, let her betrayal play out, then later in the evening pull her aside and tell her not to call you again until she’s ready to respect your boundaries. Odds are you will get a call, and notice a positive change in her behavior.

Waifs tend to be drawn to arty, egocentric men who cope with their women’s whims by ignoring them (think of Picasso and most of his women).

I have dated quite a few Waifs and this is exactly how I dealt with them. Often, I would confront her drama with my own drama. Dramafest!

TWO

Today I will continue building on the previous post and discuss how to defend yourself against the next femme fatale in Clio’s list. (As per M. Blowhard’s suggestion, I’ve split up the posts for easier reading.)

The Eternal Ingenue

She can be distinguished from the Waif, however, by the fact that where the Waif is often silent, and usually still, the Eternal Ingenue is in continual, graceful, coltish motion. Nor is she surrounded by an aura of doom-laden unhappiness. She talks a lot. She laughs a good deal. She is above all else, animated. Prancing, gamboling, frolicking like a puppy or a pony, she is often described as “charming” or “enchanting.”

When guys talk about being attracted to an ethereal “girlishness” in women, they are thinking of ingenues from their pasts. Being a man is tough — it requires strength, stoicism, and seriousness of purpose. We are drawn to the opposite in women, yang to yin, and so the ingenue — the antithesis of the hardened alpha male — captures our imagination like no other woman can. Of the four femme fatales Clio wrote of, the Eternal Ingenue comes closest to embodying the essence of the perfect woman. And, unfortunately, she is also the most difficult to tame.

What makes an ordinary Ingenue into a femme fatale, one who goes through many men and breaks their hearts, is that this is a woman “in love with love,” who has a dream-image of the perfect love, and perfect lover, in her mind, and is perpetually seeking the one man who can make her feel as she wants to feel.

Perfection is the enemy of settling. Eternal Ingenues run a risk of growing older alone. They won’t be cougars — they’re too feminine, cute and coy for that — but they are the most likely to end up cat ladies babbling to themselves about their potted marigolds. She can avoid this fate by being more hard-headed, but that has its cost. Cultivation of her pragmatic side will weaken her otherworldly whimsical side, which is the big generator of her power.

An element of the Ingenue’s search for the perfect love is that she must convince herself that all her previous loves were wrong or bad or not “real” love at all, so they didn’t count, because, you see, for her the only perfect love is first love. As a result of all this self-deception, she is able to seem virginal even when she is not.

This falls right into line with one of my maxims.

Maxim #7: The sweeter and more innocent a girl seems, the greater the likelihood she has been in a gangbang.

Corollary: Always assume she is a whore. It helps kick the legs out from under the pedestal you will be tempted to put her on, and it is more often than not true.

You really want to be wary of any woman who overly romanticizes her quest for love. She is probably what Clio described: A woman who will pick you apart for minor faults in the most gratingly passive-aggressive way possible, and finally leave you on the flimsiest pretext, often bounding straight into the arms of another man without even a pause for common courtesy.

This kind of woman is often a natural “daddy’s girl,” though her father may have been rather weak, but one who either lost her father early, or has had to share him with other women (her mother, her sisters, a step-mother), and wants him all to herself. She’ll put her trust in a handful of other women, but they are often much older than she is. [...]

Having dated a number of Eternal Ingenues myself, I can say this rings true. They either came from divorced families with fathers who bought their love and loyalty, or they had a caring beta father heading an all-female family who had to divide his love between women. You’ll know if you are dating a potential Ingenue if you meet her girlfriends and they are all overprotective and annoyingly sassy cougars-in-training. The Eternal Ingenue HATES competition from attractive girls her own age.

The Ingenue doesn’t necessarily refuse to be responsible or adult. She simply maintains an air of girlish sweetness and innocence through middle and old age. [...]

Unlike Waifs, Eternal Ingenues can take care of themselves. Which makes them more difficult prey.

…the waif’s childlike qualities may make a man feel protective: they do not make him feel fatherly. The whole point of the Ingenue is that she brings out this feeling in men. She makes them want to initiate her into the world, but gently, in a fatherly way, with books and talk and advice.

Maybe one of the reasons I date so many Eternal Ingenues is that I date so many younger women. The two go hand in hand. But I’m not fatherly in the least. Books and talk and advice are beta. The only thing I initiate them into is a world of sexual depravity and soul-rending love addiction.

Men: The Eternal Ingenue is extremely alluring as a sexual conquest. You may bed her, but winning her over is an entirely separate challenge. Because you are constantly being compared in her mind to her imaginary “perfect first love” you will be shit tested until the cougars come home. Because there will be so much competition from other men for her attentions, you will be subjected to an endless stream of capricious disloyalty from her, if not outright cheating. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been dating her — she will be the one keeping you up at night wondering if she’s tonguing down some random dude on the steps of the National Cathedral at 3 AM, and the odds are she will be. And, as a charming but inveterate liar, she will be the best at hiding her whorish soul from you.

THREE

In my final installment I will discuss methods for dealing with Clio’s last, and scariest, femme fatale.

The Amazonian Alpha (AKA Lawyer Chick)

This woman, along with the Eternal Ingenue, is the most likely of all femme fatale types to be perceived as an Iconic Woman. But whereas the Eternal Ingenue inspires dreams of perpetual love and happiness, the Amazonian Alpha inspires, in those who fall in love with her, dreams of glory, of being raised above all the ordinary people who mill around on the face of the earth. She is the Maverick Alpha’s natural mate [Editor’s note: think John and Cindy McCain], although she may choose a more ordinary Classic Alpha. Often she is unable to find a man she considers worthy of her, and may remain single.

Yes, Amazonian Alphas who don’t get married before it’s too late are the most likely to wind up frightening middle-aged women alone in mansions on hilltops with their pet German shepherds and classical music. The less prideful ones will become cougars — very VERY aggressive cougars who will stroke your chest on the slimmest pretense.

The Amazonian Alpha is usually very intelligent and generally beautiful or at least physically impressive, being statuesque of build, like Maud Gonne, the Irish nationalist who made Yeats miserable, and often athletic as well. […]

My experience with Amazonian Alphas I have dated is that many of them have striking facial bone structure and an often exotic beauty. They are never “cute” or pretty in the dull, washed-out, southern sorority sister way. They have the kind of angular looks and prominent features that a sizeable minority of men will not find attractive. They are usually taller than average and wear heels everywhere and know how to walk in them. You will never see an Amazonian wear flip-flops. She’d sooner submit to a beta male like yourself.

In social life, she can be often recognized as the lone woman talking with a large group of men, men who laugh at her jokes and who may anxiously ask her opinion about public affairs and actually listen to what she says about them. Random men seldom try to ogle or touch her, because however beautiful she may be she has a steely eye or haughty deportment that does not bode well for men who behave disrespectfully to her. Her great virtue is strength of character: she will not readily back down and is usually possessed of physical and moral courage. Her great weakness is pride, which may lead her to serious errors in judgment.

Because Amazonians are the product of the union of a successful alpha male and his beautiful wife, they often inherit their fathers’ blazing intelligence, cocksure attitude, and ambition. If they are lucky, they will inherit their mothers’ beauty, but this doesn’t always happen. More than a few alpha females look like drag queens in pantsuits.

Men are scared to tangle with the Amazonian because it feels like locking horns with a gung-ho man. They may be nice to look at, but their afeminine ballbusting personalities can be a total turn-off. Stubborn as mules, bloated egos that need constant stroking, and a keen sixth sense for smoking out suitors of bad character, the Amazonian inspires men to treat her like another man as often as a woman to be seduced. If she’s smart, she learns to temper her masculine essence to entrap men of high quality, because studies are showing that very masculine men with high testosterone are more attracted to very feminine women.

The Alpha Amazon will almost certainly be a Daddy’s Girl, but unlike the Neurotic Heartbreaker, her relationship with her father will not have been interrupted by early death or marital breakdown. Unlike the Eternal Ingenue, her father is probably also a very successful man, a dominant Alpha male who was either born to money and power or who acquired it through his own drive or gifts.

Spot on. I remember this one cunt lawyer chick I dated who rhapsodized about her father on our first date:

“He’s a professor at the University of Chicago, and he’s a classical pianist. He’s played in symphonies. He’s got patents on some of his inventions.”

I believe she used the word “redoubtable” in her high praise of him. My penis tucked itself in my ass crack.

Which reminds me… I haven’t torn a new one in lawyer chicks in a while. Where’s my thesaurus?

The Amazonian Alpha, although she may break many hearts, is perhaps alone among all the Heartbreaker types catalogued here in that she very rarely does so deliberately, nor out of subconscious neurotic compulsion. Her great problem, and the reason she finds herself breaking hearts, is the one summarized in Sheryl Crow’s lament, “Are you strong enough to be my man?”

You will endure the WORST shit tests from the Amazonian Alpha. Lesser men will retreat into belligerence or submissive shoe-gazing. Budding alphas just starting out in the game will overcompensate and allow the brinksmanship to carry on too long, thinking that sparring with her is the best way to get her in bed. David Alexander will get turned on and swap railfanning stories with her.

She will not respect a man who is not strong enough for her, and will spend at least part of her life surrounded by male admirers who are not quite equal to her in ability or dominance, who fight a bit desperately for her notice. Diana Mitford had this problem: she married a sweet-natured, rather passive man, mainly to escape from her parents’ control, and soon after humiliated him by choosing the Maverick Alpha male Oswald Mosley as a lover and publicly flaunting their relationship. Once she married Mosley, she accepted his dominance and his infidelities.

This is the interesting thing about women (yes, all women). If her man is strong enough and gets her thoroughly wet, she’ll forgive his sins despite her moral posturing. But woe be the beta who can’t get her wet; even his minor sins will forever be wielded like a cudgel, beating him mercilessly into submission, extracting the last ounce of tribute from his shattered psyche, and used as flimsy pretext to commit ten times worse sins against him. Which brings us to…

Maxim #10: It’s pussy wetness uber alles.

A woman’s shifting, squirrelly morality and conditional umbrage is also proof of another fact of evolutionary psychology — men’s infidelity is not nearly as harmful or unacceptable as women’s infidelity. I’ll leave it as an exercise for the reader to figure out why this is so.

Alpha Amazons tend to have more male than female friends, and to be more at ease in the company of men, partly because unlike so many women they don’t mind arguing or fighting for their point of view, behaviour that makes many women uneasy.

If an Amazonian Alpha has female friends, she will be THE MOST CHALLENGING cockblock you will ever have the displeasure to encounter. I hope you sacked up before opening her group.

If you find yourself competing with a woman’s father; if you find that you are always wondering if you are good enough for her, then it is possible that you have found an Alpha Amazon.

Trenchant.

Maxim #45: Daddy’s girls are status whores. You will never measure up to her father. Don’t even try.

Corollary: Not trying will turn her on. Be indifferent to her father’s accomplishments.

I told the lawyer chick from the above conversation that her father’s life sounded “full”, and then I quickly changed the subject. I banged her that evening.

If you are a masochist who likes women with vestigial penises, then by all means knock yourself out with the Amazonian Alpha. This is what you need to keep in mind to seduce her:

DON’T accept her challenges. Parry and dance blithely around her provocations. Thwart her programming. The frame of mind you want to adopt: She is inferior to you. No bitchgetsuppitywithyou.

DON’T answer shit test with shit test ad infinitum. She can do that all night, and you can’t. Pass the first few shit tests she throws out (and Amazonians front load their shit tests, unlike Ingenues and Neurotics who shit test forever and ever) and then tell her “Look, you don’t have to be this way. Ssshhh. It’s time for us to talk like human beings now.” The goal is to arouse her pussy, not her pride, and not her intellect.

DON’T brag about your achievements, especially in response to her own gleefully recounted resume. She will see any bragging as compensation. It’s actually better for you to make light of your station in life. “Yeah, I just bought a new scooter. You’ll be the belle of the ball showing up riding in the flower basket I put over the handlebars!”.

DON’T be ordinary. You can coast with drinks at a trendy lounge with an artsy chick, but you’ll want to step it up for an Amazonian. Take her on an adventure. Samba dancing at midnight, bingo at a gay club, berry picking in the countryside… you get the idea.

DON’T be beta. This is true for any woman, but never moreso than with the Alpha chick. You’ve gotta show real dominance, and that means never asking questions, being decisive, leading her on the dance floor, and choosing her drinks for her. She will try to push you around, probing for weak spots in your underbelly, and you have to stay solid, armored, like a concrete bunker.

DON’T talk about her father.

DO stroke her ego. This is really the only type of girl you can genuinely compliment on the first date without seeming beta. Keep your compliments focused on her smarts and her life-affirming gusto. She’lleatit up.

DO qualify her hard. You won’t run the risk of overqualifying yourself with this girl like you would with the other types of femmes fatales. Remember, she already thinks she is above you, so constantly screening her for compatibility will only push her closer to your level, never below it. Example: “So you can cook, but you don’t know how to cook Thai-Mongolian fusion? I would’ve thought of all the girls I’ve met you would be the one who could.”

DO fuck her like a silverback gorilla. Hair pulling is just the start. Practice your wind-up; you’re going to be smacking her ass so hard your dick will feel the sting in her pussy.

DO dump her after getting your rocks off. Why would you want to spend your life with a nutcrushing battle axe like this?

Dating ballbusters has really hardened me. I’m a better man for it.

SHOULD YOU CALL OUT A GIRL’S BAD BEHAVIOR?

The question of whether to call out, or confront, a girl over any behavior of hers that is disrespectful to you is less cut-and-dried than it sounds. For instance, what do you do when you ask a girl out through text and she replies a day later? The he-man, tough guy traditionalists would say you don’t put up with shit from women, you be a man, and that means reprimanding women when they get out of line. Ok, great, but will that get you any closer to getting laid, which, remember, is your primary goal?

(He-men will say to that “Getting laid is less important than sticking up for your principles.” I’d tell them that having principles is fine up until the point those principles become recurring obstacles getting in the way of enjoying a satisfying love life. After which point it’s time to reevaluate your principles so that they’re geared to your personal advantage.)

Back to the scenario of the girl who texts a day late. It just so happens that I put the “calling out” theory to the test about four years ago when I went through a string of dates and flings with about fifteen girls in two months. Three of the girls totally flaked on me: two cancelled a first date at the last minute and one stood me up. A fourth girl took forever to reply to my texts. I was pissed at these flakes and was searching for a fail-safe method to deal with them and bolster my dignity in the process. At that time, I had been hearing a lot from a couple of naturals I knew who claimed that they never hesitated to call girls out on their shitty behavior. They recommended I do the same. Up till then, I was fairly content to just ignore or tease girls when they acted out their female flake algorithm.

To the two girls who cancelled at the last minute, I texted one and left a voicemail with the other expressing my displeasure along the lines of (paraphrasing) “My time is valuable. Last minute blow-offs are not cool.” To the girl who stood me up, I left an angrier text telling her not to make plans if she wasn’t going to see them through. The fourth girl who waited forever to reply to my texts got this in response: “I don’t hang with girls who can’t be bothered to text back in a reasonable time frame.”

The idea here was to rattle the girls with a strong, but non-needy, alpha display that they normally didn’t experience from most men they flaked on. In theory, it sounded plausible. However, in practice it was a total failure. None of the girls ever replied to my stern rebukes.

Conclusion: disciplining prospects = failed game.

Early in the seduction process, before you have cemented the bond with a few nights of fuckfare, stern paternal rebukes, however much delivered from a position of non-neediness, will turn girls off. A girl will never — I mean NEVER — accept that she bears responsibility for her poor behavior. I don’t care if her fucking life is on the line, she’ll find a way to excuse her actions. Calling an inconsiderate girl out will only add pellets to her hamster’s food dish, and she’ll happily rationalize your scolding so that her decision to flake seems like a good one to her: “Wow, that guy is weird. Good thing we didn’t meet up.”

If you want to blow up any bridges to sex for the thrill of chastising a girl when she’s acting like a bitch, and for helping other guys out who might have to deal with her in the future, I say go for it. I suggest brutally dressing a girl down in front of a group of her friends, or in a public place. “Did your parents raise you to be this way?” is a good line that’ll shut most shrikes up.

But I wouldn’t make a habit of it. The best way to handle misbehaving, flaky girls that most consistently results in furthering positive interactions with the girls (should you choose to further them) is to do the following, in no specific order of effectiveness:

Ignore

Tease

Misdirect

Demote

Here are some examples of the above methods.

Ignore:
Self-explanatory. A girl texts you a day later, you don’t immediately reply, and you don’t let her know that her tardiness even registered in your consciousness. You act like this is just how girls are, and they deserve no better in return. Proceed as if nothing is wrong.

Tease:
“-10 points for lack of prompt reply. you’re losing me. you got ground to make up.” Also see this post for more examples of teasing a girl to reverse her flaking.

Misdirect:
“What was this about?” Forces girl to explain the context of her reply, which reframes back in your favor. Another good misdirection involves answering as if you were talking to a different girl, which will compel her to figure out what you mean: “Ok, I’ll drop my stuff off at your place later”, to which she will likely ask “what?” and then you reply “my mistake. what’s up?” (credit: Lara).

Demote:
(credit: YaReally) I wouldn’t call her out I’d just act as if I have 10 playboy models on the go and simply reply “sorry too slow lol made other plans. Next time” and then not respond for a few days. That teaches the lesson of “don’t dick around” without coming off insecure and angry.

I can say with a good degree of assurance that calling girls out for crappy behavior is counter-productive in the early stages of a seduction or dating trajectory. It might make you feel better, but it won’t pry open many vaginas. It’s a different story once you’ve been sexing a girl or are in a relationship; at that stage of the fuck cycle, you should establish your dominance when she starts pulling shit on you to test your alpha mettle. Bemused mastery is the alpha attitude women love, and there isn’t much room for indignant anger in that attitude. Especially at the beginning, when neither of you knows each other very well.

If you act like the typical shit that girls pull gets to you, then she’ll think (rightly) that you don’t have much experience with women.

COMMON MISTAKES YOU WILL MAKE WHILE LEARNING GAME

There is a cottage industry of anti-game, pro-feminist beta males who claimed to tried to learn the crimson arts but failed before seeing results. I suspect what happened to most of them is that they encountered some setbacks on their journey to higher quality, higher frequency poon, but instead of taking lessons from their losses they gave up and turned their frustration outward, against game and its advocates. What doomed them was a combination of defeatism, a lower than average starting suite of attractiveness traits, and unrealistic expectations of what game could accomplish for them.

Let me say, then, that I acknowledge their impotent rage. Most men who aren’t naturals will experience growing pains in their efforts to improve their game and success with women. I have seen all manner of mistakes made by recovering betas (and omegas) determined to increase their attractiveness to women. There is nothing unique or unsolvable about these common newbie game mistakes. If you are a beta starting out with game, you owe it to yourself to anticipate that you will experience the same setbacks that bedevil millions of men just like you traveling the same path of redemption. Anticipating mistakes means it will be a challenge to disappoint yourself, and your fortitude with thus be strengthened.

What follows is a list of the typical learning curve mistakes that men make while trying to become more charismatic ladykillers. I have pulled a couple of these boners myself, so don’t think there is a man alive who is immune to the occasional beta backslide once in a while.

Excitable Boy Syndrome

You’re pumped up for the night. Your face is flushed, your body is wired and your smile is a mile wide. You knocked out a three set of bicep curls just before hitting the clubs. You’re an approach machine. Look at you go! You’re so high on life and the possibilities of your newfound game knowledge that you forgot to remember chicks dig a man with state control. Chicks most definitely do not dig a hyperactive spaz. Don’t worry, soldier of seduction. The world is not going to run out of women tonight.

Overeager Reaction To Her Crumbs Of Interest

Your game has evolved to the point where you’re starting to get positive reactions from women. She touches your arm or pays you a genuine compliment or strokes her hair and beams ear to ear after you teased her. Pleasantly surprised and brimming with the sort of runaway horniness that has been fooled is on the cusp of being relieved, you respond with overeager gratitude, flattery and excessively loud laughter. Her brief window of kindness and flirty interest has opened your beta floodgates. You forget everything you learned and revert to the watery-eyed supplication of your puppy crushing preteen self. You push too hard for a romantic resolution, and you become outcome dependent. You know that old saying “Act like you’ve been there before”? Take it to heart. Chicks really do prefer men who don’t get too excited by female attention. Mystery called this attitude “active disinterest”, and that’s as good a description as any.

Fumble In The Red Zone

Your game has been smooth as silk. She’s standing with you on the sidewalk, a few kisses have transpired, and now you’re faced with the very real prospect that she’s ready to go home with you tonight. But the realization of this — the prospect that you may achieve your goal — freezes you. Instead of leading her to her exquisite doom with unstoppable confidence, you mumble something about maybe, possibly, seeing some band next week that you heard was good, your hands stuffed deep in your pockets. Her face slackens into disappointment. Your reward? A cavalcade of unanswered text messages and grotesque ponderings asking yourself “where did it all go wrong?”.

Overplayed Hand Syndrome

Wow! She really lit up when you dropped that neg! And look how she reacts so well to your cocky teasing. You can’t believe what you’re seeing. Game works!, you say to yourself. So more game must work more!, you answer in reply to yourself. You start dropping C&F on her like it’s going out of style. Slowly, or maybe not so slowly, you notice she’s not laughing as much, not opening her body to you, and not tilting her head to expose her vulnerable neck to you. She’s turtling fast, and now she’s glancing around the room. You captured her interest, and she wanted you to follow up with a deeper connection. An emotional bonding that would have added dimensions to your personality. But you responded with more of the same happy-go-lucky douchery. Game is not a hammer; it’s a scalpel. Use it as such.

Say Anything Stupid Syndrome

Every man fears it: getting stuck with nothing to say. This fear issues from a place of pedestalization. “If I don’t say something witty right now to break this awkward silence, I will lose her.” So in his beta haste he overcompensates by spitting out a jumble of small talk at best, and vibe-killing self-deprecation at worst. When you have nothing to say, the best response is to… say nothing. Let silence be your ally. 90% of the time, a woman confronted with a man’s silence will restart the conversation herself. Once she does that, the seduction script is flipped, and she becomes the chaser, uncontrollably instilling you with higher value. Women who don’t restart the conversation are not invested enough in you, and you may take that as a signal to move on.

Easy Discouragement Syndrome

You’ve arrived. You haven’t started talking to any girls yet. A cute girl sits near you with her friend. You suck in air deep, preparing to deliver your opener. As you turn to face them, you notice across the room a very good-looking guy juggling the interest of three adoring women. Discouraged, you hold your tongue and nurse your drink, alone, for the next three hours. You mumble something about game not working because you can never compete with men like that. Self-satisfied that your failures are thus justified and irredeemable, you slink home while a man who looks about like you do begins making out with a girl at a different bar in the city tonight. I hope I don’t have to spell out the moral of this story.

Stubborn Refusal To Adapt Spergitude

You’ve just dropped an inspired DHV routine on her. But for some inexplicable reason, she hasn’t responded the way you thought she would. The way so many others did. Boredom snakes across her face. You get flustered. “What do I do now??” Instead of changing course to something that might prove more fruitfully engaging for her, you continue blasting at her bunker with permutations of your nigh-invulnerable DHV story, hoping that some new way of saying this or that sentence will be the key to her heart. As an aspie beta nerd with stubborn mule tendencies, you are a victim of your emotional straitjacketing. Learn to adapt in the field by trying new things on the fly. Don’t be afraid to abandon a conversational trail that has gone stale. I’ve seen it so many times — men who stubbornly fix to a line of thought when the girl is moving the conversation in a new direction. The best seducers are masters of opportunistic conversational hijacking, and will lead and follow a girl’s train of thought simultaneously.

Apologia The Destroya

Incoming shit test! Thankfully, with your encyclopedic game knowledge, you know how to disarm it. But wait… she didn’t get that faux shocked, slightly horny look on her face when you slapped down her attempt to belittle you. No, she’s didn’t take your reply well. Another shit test, a nastier one, flies your way. Your brain starts filling up with self-doubt and second-guessing, and instead of nimbly swiping her second shit test aside, you begin apologizing — in so many words — for your impudence. Ughh. Game over, man! You let your wimpy, trembling beta id out for a stroll in the daylight. She took one look at the poor benighted creature and her fangs and claws were bared for the kill. Expect that you will occasionally have to deal with nasty bitches with zero tolerance for weakness in men. It comes with the territory. Knowing this, you will be better prepared to avoid getting entrapped by a woman’s betatization program.

COMMON PICKUP MISTAKES MEN MAKE

Complain

Those two guys from the Independence Day post were swapping complaints about the ratio of girls at the venue. Little did they know, the two women they would eventually approach overheard their bitching. “Let’s get out of here. There’s nothing going on. There are no chicks.” Then, on a dime, they switched on their happy faces when they noticed the girls and decided to hit on them.

There are two problems with this seemingly innocuous behavior. One, bitching and moaning will infect the positive attitude you need to properly seduce women. Even if you are a pro at altering your demeanor to suit your company, the simple act of verbalizing a negative feeling can subtly influence your facial openness and attitude. Highly feminine and intuitive girls can pick up on that.

Two, and more importantly, you don’t want women you’ve yet to meet getting ringside seats to your dr. Jekyll mr. Hyde facade. File this under incongruency. When a woman overhears you complaining about the ratio (and more women can hear what you say in their proximity than you might imagine), and then gets introduced to your smiley, good times self, she’s going to register the disconnect. Why start a pickup attempt unnecessarily handicapped?

I suppose PUA gurus would call this “being in state”.

Argue

Men get argumentative. “Why would you root for Uruguay and against your own country?” This is often a fatal error. Women do not like to argue (barring the exceptions that loiter this internet outpost). Women like to win arguments; they just don’t like the process of arguing to achieve the satisfying win. Men argue because it is a natural part of our being — as natural as farting loudly and laughing in triumph. So men tend to project their comfort with arguing onto the women with whom they interact. Remember, projection is a cognitive bias of both sexes, (though a more frequent failing of women.)

Men may think that by arguing with women they are demonstrating alpha characteristics like masculinity, boldness, and assertiveness, but what women usually think of argumentative men is that they are annoying, bitter, and tingle-killing. Save the arguing for ugly or otherwise unavailable bitches you aren’t trying to bed.

Confuse Aggressiveness for Cockiness

Similar to the above, men have a bad habit of confusing male-centric aggression for female-centric appreciation of cocky indifference. This is commonly referred to as the overplayed neg, and happens when one has crossed the threshold from seductive backhanded compliment to vaj-shriveling awkward insult. The two men who accused the women of being “anti-American” are good examples of men who fell victim to this typically male foible. They probably thought they were being edgily attractive, but instead their edginess thudded heavily like a lead weight.

The overplayed neg is the bane of game acolytes everywhere, and it is why so many newbies give up and turn against the only solution that can give them hope. Once the neg is mastered, though, a whole world of delights opens up. A better way to neg the anti-American women and display superiority without off-putting hubris is by leavening the insult with charm. For instance:

WOMAN 2: I wouldn’t have rooted for America.

THE DEVIL IN UR DREAMS: That’s weird. Are you a Uruguayan spy?

WOMAN 2: Haha, I just think America isn’t as good at soccer. They don’t really deserve to win.

THE DEVIL IN UR DREAMS: Uruguay does not deserve a spy as amateur as you.

When I was applying myself to learning game material, David DeAngelo’s Cocky/Funny series had a big impact on me. As he stressed, you can’t have the cocky without the funny. The two go together to form a perfect union of seductive prowess. Cockiness alone conveys arrogance, the stink of the man trying too hard to impress or dominate. Funny alone is the province of the class clown, the entertainment monkey. But fuse them, and you have an attitude that is irresistible to women. Add a 10″ cock and it’s game over, maaan, game oveeer!

Leave in a Huff

What’s worse than getting rejected? Getting rejected and giving the girl the satisfaction of knowing her rejection got to you. I can’t tell you how many men I’ve observed get blown out and then leave the scene of the accident with a parting insult or a noticeable sulk in their body language. Why would you treat some random chick worth no more than a humid summer day’s condensation on a single short and curly to the pleasure of your petty meltdown? The best response to a rejection is no response. Say goodbye as if you were parting company with a gas station attendant.

Maxim #45: Before sex, no girl you are attracted to is important enough to merit an emotional reaction should the pickup attempt turn bad.

OVERQUALIFYING YOURSELF TO GIRLS

When you start getting good with women — that is, when you begin noticing their eyes light up when you talk rather than their eyes avert looking for the nearest exit — your biggest obstacle (besides logistics) won’t be your lack of game; it will be too much of your game. It is very easy to overqualify yourself to women because once you see with your own eyes how powerfully game works you will have a natural inclination to press your full court advantage beyond its usefulness. And because we have a human tendency toward too much of a good thing, you will often lose women in set and have no clue why, and thus no handle on how to refine your game. Overqualification is like blood pressure, the hidden disease that slowly kills your success as a player. You hardly recognize when it is happening.

One thing you learn over the years hunting the vast pink veldt for fresh pussy is how much more sensitive than men are women to being underqualified to a prospective mate. In fact, science has shown that couples are happier in relationships in which the man is less attractive than the woman. It makes sense, then, that a man whose game comes on too strong could ping a woman’s “cad” radar and convince her that he is too risky as a long term prospect.

How will you know when you’ve overqualified yourself? It’s a tough call. The signals are so subtle you’ll need lots of experience to know when to dial down your game. A few pointers:

Is she nervously checking out other women while you’re gaming her? She’s worried at the amount of female attention you receive and how well she can keep your attention.

Is she displaying particularly nervous or bashful body language? She thinks your high value is such that her less-than-perfect body can’t measure up to the types of female bodies she assumes you are used to bedding.

Does she suddenly get defensively snippy for no apparent reason? She’s crouched into a face-saving posture and her ego has taken over her emotions. Lawyer cunts are especially prone to this behavior.

Does she half-jokingly say things like “You’re probably like all the other guys. You won’t call.” or “Promise you’ll call?” A girl who believes she’s in your league won’t resort to airing her doubts out loud.

Does she put herself down? She’s fishing for compliments because she wants reassurance that you really think she is cute.

Does she accuse you of being a player or a heartbreaker? This is typically a shit test, but remember, buried in every shit test is a corn kernel of truth. If she says it, she’s thinking it. You’ll need to parry her test without sounding too beta. Best answer: “I used to be something of a player I guess, but those days are behind me now.”

***

Here are some tips for keeping your game in check and avoiding overqualification:

Psychological routines like the Cube or palm reading are great, but don’t run more than one in a night. Spread out your best material over a few dates. It’s easy to club a woman over the head with routines.

Tone down the cocky funny. Don’t neg her more than once, and don’t neg a 6.5 or below unless you are an ugly man.

Don’t get too seductive on the first meet. Save the bedroom eyes when you have her in a private place.

Don’t make out with her too passionately on the first meet. Exquisitely tempting lip brushes and dances of the tongues are better day 2 tactics, after rapport has been established.

Don’t hit on another girl immediately after getting her number. Give it room to breathe, soldier.

Don’t sound too “polished”. Say something stupid or goofy once in a while, so that she can make fun of you.

Expose a vulnerability. Alpha dominance is best served with a garnish of endearing flaws.

When you number close, say “I’m looking forward to seeing you.”

If you leave a woman feeling like you may have overqualified yourself, there is a last-ditch maneuver you can do which will lessen the odds that she will withdraw from your pursuit. I have tried this on girls I thought were withdrawing from me because they were afraid I was out of their league. If a girl is making it difficult for you to set up a second date, or she doesn’t respond promptly to your flirty trial texts, and you think it might be because she has pegged you as too alpha for her pay grade, send the following text after a few days of radio silence:

“Please no gameplaying.”

In three little words you have just allayed any fear she may have harbored about the strength of your interest in her, while exposing a delicious vulnerability of the sort that women LOVE to discover in dominant men. If she likes you, she will reply to this text instantly, usually with something like “I hate gameplaying too.” Carryon, my wayward PUA.

ANTI-GAME

Damian and I were at a multi-floored historic building converted into a lounge (a not uncommon idiosyncrasy of the city) that features the hottest female waitstaff and bartenders in the city.

Damian bumped my elbow and motioned me to look toward two attractive blondes — a 7.5 and an 8.5 — who were standing near us. Two men had just walked up and engaged them in conversation. Both men were, as far as I can tell these things, decent-looking, over 6 feet tall, and in shape. One was older– late 30s, early 40s — and sharply dressed with a dash of gray around the temples. His buddy was late 20s, early 30s, and dressed more casually. The younger guy had a frat boy-ish vibe, while the older guy struck a more sophisticated pose.

Since all four of them were within earshot, I focused my listening attention on the group, occasionally glancing over, so I could enjoy the spectacle of these guys running whatever game they had on the two blondes. When I see a choice setup like this, I take it as an opportunity to observe and learn or, in the case of men with no game, to amuse myself and gawk at the carnage, while positioning for a flanking maneuver.

Approach

The men went straight in, telegraphing their interest from the word “go”. Opened with “Hey, how you guys doing?” Points for boldness, demerits for shitty opener. Even in socially overheated crowded venues, the best approach is noncommittal — from an angle, over the shoulder. Also, it doesn’t hurt to be a little more creative than “How you doin’?”.

Girls’ Reaction

The poor approach didn’t hurt these guys. The girls welcomed them with big smiles and enthusiastic hellos, probably because the men were reasonably good-looking compared to the average man in the place. The older man looked like he was of means.

Body Language

The men registered the girls’ positive reaction and took the beta bait, amping up their energy levels and enthusiasm. This was my first hint that a pickup attempt disaster was looming. The younger guy began grinning ear to ear like an idiot, and bobbing his head up and down each time the girls talked. The older guy maintained a more aloof body language, keeping his back straight and avoiding any “pecking” or leaning into the girls. He didn’t wildly smile like his fratboy buddy. I could see he had more self-control and experience than his younger friend. His economy of words and body movement made him seem the more confident of the two men. If I noticed that, then surely the girls noticed it as well.

Conversation

The men ran what I call Chit Chat Game. This is the kind of conversation you make with someone when you are bereft of anything interesting to say. “What do you think of this place?” “You guys live in the city?” “Hey, the martinis here are really good.” “You guys like to dance?” “Whoa, you’re from North Carolina?” “How about those Tar Heels!” The fratboy latched onto this subject because it was in his comfort zone. “Yeah, you’re a Tar Heels fan? All riiiiiight!! High five!”. He tried to hold the high five with the 7.5 for a second too long, but she dropped her hand fast.

Yes, the guys were actually talking college sports. I could *feel* the initial attraction drain out of the girls, like a nail in a tire slowly letting out air. Their smiles had turned plastic, and they began gripping their drinks tighter and holding them up higher on their chests. The hotter one made a series of quick sidelong surveys around the room.

The older man wasn’t talking as much, but when he did he had a steadier, calmer cadence than his sports fan friend. Unfortunately for him, he didn’t lead and take control of the conversation when it started sputtering into lame sports talk territory. What he did contribute was of the “business interview” variety. More mature than gushing over the Tar Heels to be sure, but still death for pickup.

Escape

Surprisingly, Fric and Frac managed to stay in set for fifteen minutes. I chalked it up to the niceness of the girls — they were very forgiving of horrid game that would have sent the typical urban lawyer chick into massive shit test, ball crushing mode, after suckering the tools for free drinks of course. These two girls must have been from out of town — way out of town.

The 7.5 delivered the cockblock signal to her friend — a thin-lipped entreaty and an almost imperceptible eyebrow raise — but that was all it took for her to get the message.

“Well, we’re going to go upstairs now. See you!” As they turned and slithered away from the men, Fratboy looked over his shoulder at them and in a sickeningly pleading voice moaned “Aww, you guys are going upstairs?? All right, maybe we’ll see you up there!” The girls didn’t bother looking back.

Denouement

Damian found all this the height of hilarity, but also was overcome with an urge to pummel the beta out of these guys. He believes bad game is more nauseating than eating a spoiled enchilada. It really is like rubbernecking at a particularly gruesome car accident. I enjoy bad game in others because it means less competition for me. This is why I support gay rights. I want as many men as possible to feel comfortable embracing the butt pirate lifestyle and thus removing themselves from hetero circulation.

Fratboy and Boring Gent talked amongst themselves, obviously planning a way to reconnect with the girls. Someone needed to be charitable and interject to explain the futility of their situation, but no man’s ego is strong enough to handle that sort of constructive criticism, especially not in the chaos of the field. Instead, we watched them climb up the stairs to meet their by now long gone girls.

We didn’t have the heart to tell them that the only thing upstairs were the bathrooms.

Rebirth

Later, I bumped into the hotter girl on the first level of the club. I smiled at her.

“So, how did those guys do?”

She laughed.

*********

A lot of losers in love insist that “being yourself” is morally superior to “manipulating and seducing” a girl with game. They have an instinctual aversion to anything that doesn’t conform to the beta script of “boy meets girl and sometimes magic happens in a most satisfyingly natural and unforced way, as God intended”. They believe any conscious effort to make oneself more attractive to the opposite sex is inherently dishonest.

They are wrong. Honesty is recognizing that women have different desires and appealing to that. Dishonesty with yourself is ignoring this fundamental fact of the sexes, and selfishly expecting women to be attracted to your principled obstinacy.

What game-hating beta losers don’t comprehend is that the opposite of Game — casual chit chat — can increase a man’s failure rate with women who would otherwise prefer that he not disappoint them so. “Being yourself” isn’t an ethically or strategically neutral stance; it is an unnecessarily negative obstacle to connecting with women in the way they want you to connect with them. Despite what women claim, they would really rather you run some game on them so they can feel those good feelings that are aroused by skilled practitioners of the art of indulging the female psyche. They just don’t want you to tell them you’re running game.

The two girls were happy to be approached by the two men on account of their style and looks. But Anti-Game quickly eroded whatever attraction was there initially. These guys were being themselves, and it cost them dearly. They were “honest” according to the beta playbook, and they were punished for their honesty.

Anti-Game is the equivalent of being an ill-prepared Boy Scout. Anti-Game is to men what going out wearing baggy pants and flannel shirt, no makeup, and greasy, unkempt hair is to women. Sure, you may be good-looking enough to pull some ass despite your lack of game or your figure-concealing unflattering clothes, but you’ll be needlessly limiting your options.

LYING FOR SEX

Getting laid is so critical to a man’s well-being that if he needs to lie to get it I’m not morally scandalized. I liken it to the unemployed man who has to steal bread in order to feed his starving family. The sexless man would be negligent not to avail himself of the shadier moral choices to cure his condition.

If lies are necessary to avoid the walking death of celibacy then it is worth the soulpence it may cost in whatever personal code of integrity a man follows. A lie to bed a woman does her little harm. After all, what exactly has changed… what actual harm has been done to her… if the next morning she finds out he works at Taco Bell instead of Goldman Sachs? The sex will still have felt as good because a discovered lie cannot undo the past. Unless she has made important life decisions with him on the first night together the lie will not have any influence on her future. At best, she can say that had she known the truth she would have enjoyed one more night of sleeping alone.

The reason men lie for sex is because it is an option that is available to them. It’s a courtship tactic that exists because women look for non-obvious signals of attractiveness in men. Lying takes advantage of a woman’s base motives — her lust for powerful men, conspicuous displays of resources and confidence, and the feeling of being seduced — by feeding her what she wants to hear. Women lie as well when they wear makeup and act coquettish but that is not of the same order of magnitude as the lies men have at their disposal to beguile women into sex. Men pretty much know with a quick glance whether they want to bang a girl so girls don’t have much room to lie their way onto a man’s erection. Therefore, it is easier for girls to assume the moral high ground because their virtue is born of necessity. They’d lie like men if easy sex were on their agenda or it helped them as much to get what they want in a partner.

If a loser has trouble getting laid the normal way I see no reason why he should handicap himself by adopting a posture of perfect moral rectitude and telling the truth when it will obviously hurt his cause. The reward for such good behavior — many nights alone with his hand — hardly compensates for the sex he could have gotten through amoral means. Lying can be an attainable way for a beta to get a few early notches under his belt and purify himself of the stink of desperation.

Take the following two scenarios illustrating why lying for sex is not always the black-or-white moral decision many women want men to believe.

She asks if he’s a virgin. (Odd question to ask, but let’s assume something about him gave her cause for concern.) He’s a 30 year old man and is, in fact, a virgin. If he answers “yes” he has seriously impacted his chance to get laid. If he lies, he keeps his goal in sight and she loses nothing.

He has terminal cancer and will die in one year. He has been dating a girl for two months and it is going well. Both of them feel the first stirrings of love. She doesn’t know of his disease. He wants to spend his remaining time on earth in the arms of a woman who loves him. If he tells her the truth she may leave him or withdraw her love so as to avoid wasting a year of her life on a man who won’t be around to support her and the family she eventually wants. If he lies he has, in effect, stolen a year of her prime dating marketability, though he has given her a year of love she was not guaranteed to get without him.

While I have no abstract moral hang-up about lying I don’t recommend it as a seduction tool for three reasons.

It’s weak game

Lying is the cut & paste, band-aid version of game. It’s quick and dirty and often effective, but won’t last. It has no roots, no foundation. It’s better to spend the effort to learn good solid game that will be there for you in any situation than to use the crutch of weak game where you have to waste energy keeping track of all your lies. You will feel a greater sense of accomplishment winning over a woman without resorting to outright lies and this will redound to your self-confidence.

It complicates the pursuit of long term relationships

Lies work well for one night stands and even short term flings if the guy doesn’t contradict himself. But long term relationships — the ones where you go shopping for a condo together or she visits you at the office to drop off your lunch — will crumble under an edifice of lies. If you work at Taco Bell she’ll find out eventually. False advertising moves product only up until the first recall. So if you are looking for lasting love it pays to resist the temptation to lie away perceived flaws.

Lying is self-reinforcing

The big problem with lying is that once you start, you can’t stop. One lie requires two more to sustain, and two lies requires four. You will soon find yourself mired in a fantasy world of talented Mr. Ripley proportions (which isn’t so bad if you have his skills of deception) that will kill any chance at a healthy relationship unless the girl is a complete masochist for your lying bad ass. (Those girls do exist.) Plus, lying encourages reliance on other bad habits to seduce a woman. If you lie to attract a woman then other parts of your game are likely to be equally sloppy.

Moral of this post: Don’t lie. Evade.

PAYING FOR DATES

I’m surprised guys still struggle with the question of who pays on dates. It seems to be a perennial issue that never gets satisfactorily resolved. There’s a simple solution that skirts the problem entirely — don’t take her on traditional dates that cost more than a few bucks.

This isn’t so much about saving money as it is about avoiding the impression that you are buying her approval. Although all girls say they like it when a guy pays for them on dates (some even demand it on principle), the reality is that she will subconsciously slightly downgrade your status if you are quick to spend on her. The amount you are downgraded is directly proportional to the amount and eagerness with which you pay for her company. A fancy dinner followed by dessert and cocktails that costs you $100 will get you no further with a girl than if you had bought her a single beer. In fact, it may even hurt your chances.

Leave the dinners and special nights out for girls you are already banging.

My favorite types of dates are ones where she accompanies me on a shopping excursion in boutique shops around the city. Consignment shops are great for showing my fun side where we dress up in retro clothes and role play. Cost of this date = zero dollars. My standard date 1 and date 2 routine is a chill lounge or dive bar on a weeknight. Drinks for both of us will run me $30 tops. Usually it is less because she will buy a round or two.

There is only one thing worse than coming across as a guy who must buy girls’ affections, and that is looking like a cheap fuck. Don’t make a big production out of deciding who pays for drinks. Buy the first round, but frame it in a way that elevates your status. A foolproof way to do this is to ask her what she’s having, and as you’re getting up to go to the bar to order, say with a grin

“I’ll get this round, and you can get the next hundred rounds. Top shelf liquor only, please. I have standards.”

A few words can send a lot of subtle messages. Saying the above demonstrates that you don’t really care who is paying, but you’ll have some fun with the situation anyhow. It also shows you are not buying her drinks to appease her and won’t be the type of guy who gets used like a walking ATM, yet still pays homage to human nature and the deep desire of women to see resource displays in the men they are considering for sex.

When you have lightened the mood like this she will enthusiastically buy the next round. Congratulate yourself. Getting a girl to buy you something, even a small thing like a drink, creates the feeling in her that she has invested in you, and therefore she will assume you must be worthy of her investment. When she buys you a summer home in Tuscany she will have no choice but to fall in love with you.

GETTING RUSTY

Whether because of laziness, preoccupation with job and hobbies, or falling into a steady, comfortable pattern with a girlfriend, time away from the game will kill your game faster than cumulative rejections, self-limiting beliefs, or hanging with a beta crowd. It’s like high blood pressure, the silent killer. You don’t even realize your game is suffering until it’s too late and a beta embolism seizes you in a death grip.

I used to think that once you learned game it would stay with you for life no matter how much time you spent away from it, like riding a bicycle. Now, I know this isn’t true. Within a month of departure from the field, your game will begin to degrade. First your outer game will deteriorate, then your rock solid inner game — your confidence — will start to show cracks. Finally, if you don’t take active steps to counter the slide to betatude, you will completely revert to your old self. You see this a lot with freshly minted divorced men. They’ve been out of the game so long they have the mannerisms, attitude, and courtship skills of a socially retarded high school A/V club freshman, adrift in a sea of bitch sharks.

The Descent of Alpha follows this trajectory:

—> Master Seducer commits to a girlfriend or, heaven forfend, gets married. He spends most of his free time with her.

One month passes without hitting on fresh meat.

—> Master Seducer is out with his boys and sees a hot chick. Preparing to approach, he hesitates for just a second. Guilt over his GF? Or something much, much more ominous? For a brief instant he struggles to find an opening gambit. This is an odd feeling for him. The opening line used to come second nature. He can’t remember the last time he had to scan his brain for an acceptable conversation starter. Is his GF’s pussy fogging his mind?

Two months pass without hitting on fresh meat.

—> Master Seducer is walking down the sidewalk and notices a chick who is just his type walking toward him. He is sexually satiated from his GF’s loving daily ministrations, but a dying ember within compels him to summon the old swaggering dick-swinging demon. And this girl is just the one to inspire him. He makes his move, but to his astonishment he says something about the tourist season. Their friendly, sexually neutered conversation soon falls apart, as he knew it would. Curses! Casual game! His normally charming asshole game has betrayed him. He wonders why he said what he did.

Three months pass without hitting on fresh meat.

—> Master Seducer, who has by now been demoted to Master Beta Boyfriend, has not hit on a new girl since he met his girlfriend. He wakes in the middle of the night in a cold sweat wondering if he’s still “got it”. Determined to put his growing fears behind him, he takes advantage of a weekend his girlfriend will be out of town to hang with his crew and recapture the old glory. He figures he’s already got regular pussy, so he’ll be free to experiment and be as bold as he wants. In the field surrounded by all the glittering new beauties, a flicker of doubt briefly rattles him, but he forces it aside and strides purposefully into set after set like the King Dong he used to be. Unfortunately, his game is sloppy, scattershot, and misses the mark more than it hits. As set after set fizzles, he grows more timid in his conversations. He forgets fundamentals like hitting on the fat chick first and negging the hot babe early. He forgets to qualify. He even catches himself standing in a defensive posture. He goes home numberless, but consoled that at least he has pussy waiting for him.

Four months pass without hitting on fresh meat.

—> Our Master of Nothing has decided to throw in the towel. He’s got a great GF and maybe his new game-free outlook on life is the natural progression of becoming a well-rounded man. Like yin and yang, the alpha and beta must coexist. Too bad for our anti-hero his girlfriend has mysteriously stopped giving him unsolicited blowjobs. She snaps at him for inconsequential infractions. He has stopped flirting with other women when they go out together. His egregious flirting at parties used to piss the hell out of his girlfriend, but the night always ended in floorboard shaking sex. Now, the night ends with a movie and soft, tender lovemaking — at least from him — that leaves her unsatisfied.

Six months pass without hitting on fresh meat.

—> Master of Herbs has done all the right things: He’s stopped cutting around, he’s paid more attention to his girlfriend, he’s been a dutiful boyfriend with eyes only for her. So why did she leave him? All he knows is that he’s been thrust into the field, cold and unarmed, and his glorious past BG (Before Girlfriend) where he hardly ever went a week without new pussy is just a distant memory. He flails wildly in set. His confidence is shattered. He spends $5K for a workshop with Lance Mason. We can rebuild him. We have the technology…

***

The first thing to go when you have stopped gaming girls is your asshole game. Asshole game is like the dick in the coalmine. When it goes flaccid, you’ve got big problems on the horizon. Asshole game is probably the surest marker of healthy testosterone levels. It’s also the leading edge of tight game and the most sensitive to any beta backsliding. If you’re concerned about losing your mojo, pay close attention to your inner asshole. Have you stopped referring to girls as “bitches” and “dirty whores”? Have you stopped making fun of them and risking getting blown out? WARNING! You have taken your first steps betawards.

Ask your friends to observe you in set and grade you on your assholery. Third party feedback is invaluable for avoiding the dreaded fates of the Complacent Herb in a Relationship or the Lazy Beta Too Self-Satisfied to Bother. If you can keep your asshole game sharp, the rest of your game will be safe from the predations of the Beta Side.

Maxim #59: The longer you are away from seducing new women, the harder it will be to seduce one when you want.

WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT RIGHT

When she says:

I feel like you know everything about me, but I know nothing about you.

you’re on the right track. She is interested in you enough to want a two-way information stream. She’s begging for a connection. A girl has not escalated to Code Tingling Pussy interest level until she starts asking you questions about yourself.

(The Code Interest levels are:

Code Snapped Shut Pussy

Code Desiccated Pussy

Code Semi-arid Pussy

CodeMexicanBorder Virtual FencePussy

Code Tingling Pussy

Code Electrified Pussy

Code Moist Pussy

Code Open Faucet Pussy

Code Deluge Pussy

Code Explosive Hydropower Pussy)

When you hear the above line from a girl on a first date, know that you’ve done the following things right:

remained an elusive mystery

did not give away the store to try to win her approval

have intrigued her just enough to cause her subconscious to spit forth her true feelings have made her feel comfortable revealing herself to you

Once you hear this from your date, do not clamp down on the “beta bait” and start reeling off factoids about yourself in an effort to appease the gods watching over her pussy. The best thing to say in response is something along the lines of:

Totally untrue. [raise an eyebrow and smile] I told you that I’m a dog person.

She’ll get the joke, and her Code Electrified Pussy will thank you for not failing her shit test.

Eventually, you will have to tell her about yourself in order to manufacture build a genuine rapport. Even the coolest laconic cats leaned back deep into the couch find the right time to mutter a few choice teasers about themselves. If your girl is saying she doesn’t know anything about you on the second date, you’ve pushed your tight-lipped act too far. Mystery can turn to slippery evasion can morph to suspicious secrecy and finally gel into dull lump with nothing to say in her mind within the span of an hour.

Like all good seductions, what you don’t say is as important as what you say, and impeccable timing is the intangible skill that separates the professional from the amateur.

5 GAME: SEX

HOTTER WOMEN, BETTER SEX

There are a lot of false impressions circulating about the motivation behind men’s Darwinian struggle to fuck the most beautiful women. Of course, the cultural explanation is gibberish so I won’t bother to address that here. What interests me is the oft-repeated claim, mostly by women but also by some men with beta issues, that the primary drive for men’s unstoppable lust to score only the hottest girls is to boost their ego by being seen in public with arm candy.

This is not true. The essential motivation for scoring the best-looking women is the visceral pleasure signals it sends to the reward centers of the male brain. To gaze on a beautiful woman’s face, admire the curves of her body, and make love with her all night long is its own reward. The little bit of ego-massaging that comes from walking into a crowded room and showing off the hot girl in your company pales in comparison to the ecstasy of privately kissing her lips in a quiet room with the blinds drawn.

I suspect the people who think that men chase hot girls the most feverishly so as to lord it over other men have an agenda. They want to believe that human nature is not immutable; that with the right amount of peer pressure and fist-shaking at the media juggernaut men’s desires can be altered — tamed — to accommodate their conceit. And pride is malleable where thermonuclear blasts of lust are not.

If, on the other hand, men pursue the best-looking women at the behest of hidden compulsions buried deep in the reptilian cores of their brains, then there is nothing can be done to change this fact of manhood and what it means for less attractive girls.

How your body responds to a woman during sex tells the tale. The hotter I find the girl, the better the sex is, all else being equal. Since men remember sex acts with crystal clear clarity, it’s easy for me to recall the exact specifications of my sexual encounters with each woman in my life. Not to put too fine a point on it, but my jizzbombs were heavier and the distance ejected farther with the prettier girls. Since this is something I cannot consciously control, it is proof of the innate characteristics of the male sex drive.

In the interest of science, I’ve put my beauty-to-cumload comparison in a handy chart:

Hotness of woman

Size of load

Squirt distance

0

*

*

1

*

*

2

*

*

3

pre-cum only

had to be squeezed out

4

droplet

dribble

5

<5 grams

2 cm

6

fills belly button

3 inches

7

1 tbsp

8 inches

8

2 tbsp

1.5 feet

9

1/4 cup

3 feet

10

gallon**

5 yards**

*insufficient data

**extrapolation

PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY

Most horny women will never come right out and ask for sex from their lovers. You will not often hear “Let’s fuck NOW!” or “Do you want to bang?” from your girlfriend, or from many women you are dating throughout your lifetime. A few raunchy broads of questionable virtue will take the initiative dominatrix-style, and you will be pleased by their efforts, but all in all most normal men prefer the coyness of women who relinquish themselves to sex instead of demand it. Truth is, ladies, we find it adorable.

A woman’s need to feel physically desired is stronger than her need for food and shelter on the Vajlovian hierarchy of values. Thus, women tend to avoid outright asking for sex, even when explosively horny, because it sidesteps entirely their prime directive to passively arouse the male to action. But oh how their tingles itch for relief! And so women have devised a complicated system of sexual hints and innuendo that would make a French aristocrat blush with envy. I continue coming across numerous examples of just such scandalous whisperings from the women I meet in my life.

The Human Meow. This is where a woman will make cute animal noises, similar to bird chirps or meows, to indicate her desire for sex. They will often sound like “Mmm? MmmMMMmmm?” with upturned eyebrows, as if waiting for you to clue in. Naturally, all systems women use to communicate their wish for sex must adhere to the first rule to maintain plausible deniability. So if you call a woman out on her human meows she will deny with the sort of ingenious excuses that so seamlessly blend reality and fantasy. To wit: “If you want sex baby, you could just say so instead of meowing like a hungry cat.” Her: “I was asking if you’d like to make us some green tea!”

The Telepathic Sex Stare. Half-lidded, lips imperceptibly parted, you wonder if she’s doing an end run around your consciousness and making a direct connection with your hindbrain. Women rarely win staring contests, except when they want sex. Or when they’re accusing you of cheating.

The Symbolic Suggestion. When a woman suggests “Let’s have the red wine instead of beer” or “Let’s move to the bedroom, it’s sunnier in there” or “Let’s light the candles to save electricity”, it means “Let’s have sex”. “Let’s flush the toilet after a leaving behind a giant deuce” does NOT mean “Let’s have sex”. Learned that the hard way.

The Unprompted Shoe Removal. Here’s an important tip, gentlemen. When you have brought a girl back to your place or you have gone to hers, pay close attention to how soon she removes her shoes. If she takes hers off quickly upon settling in, you have good chance for intimacy.

The “Wow, I could use a backrub” Bonk Over The Head. This one is obvious. When she starts rubbing her neck and complaining about her hard day at work, it is NOT your cue to give her an extended backrub that hurts your hands. It IS, however, your cue to give her a two second shoulder grasp, followed immediately by a cupping of her tits from behind. Note: Longtime married men should take into consideration that the wife would really prefer the backrub to sex. Sorry, hubbies. Shoulda listened to me.

The Aunt Jemima Channeling. Pancakes are no fun without Aunt Jemima’s. “Do you know what would really go great with this new king-sized bed we just bought?” Don’t wait for an answer. She’s not giving it.

The Snake Hiss. When you come up behind her to scratch her head or briefly rub her shoulder, she’ll inhale an exaggerated hissing sound of pleasure — SSSSSSssssssss — that means she wants more. A lot more.

The Campbell’s Soup Song. Give your woman a kiss. After the kiss, if she’s still leaning forward with half-closed eyes and saying something like “Mm mmmm, that was good” you can translate that as “Mm mmmm, I need a deep sea drilling.”

And finally, one of my personal favorites: The “I’m Horny” State of the Union Address. When a girl is superhorny and she just doesn’t have the patience for subtler means of communicating her arousal, she will sometimes stare blankly into space and announce, unceremoniously and without untoward inflection to no one in particular, “I’m horny”. She will say this with a hint of exasperation even, but she will never say it to you directly, even if you are standing one foot in front of her. In that case, she will turn her head 90 degrees to the left and declare her horniness to an invisible audience of psychotherapists. Under no circumstance should you respond “You are?” This will kill her horniness faster than a weeping beta with a microchub. Don’t grab her right away either. Wait a minute to grant her a plenary indulgence from her brazen suggestiveness, and then pounce. Skip foreplay. You’ll discover upon first grasp an angry swollen river of passion already swallowing your kayak whole.

I'M SAVING MYSELF FOR AN ASSHOLE

Last minute resistance is how players describe the general tendency of women to throw hip checks and shoulder blasts right before the blessed consummation. Guys who are unable to control their state at this critical juncture, when they are at their horniest, will fail the LMR test. If you’re a new age sensitive man you could give her a sympathetic hug when she resists your advances and wait for another day/month/year. And then watch your balls ascend in direct proportion to her plummeting respect for you. But if you want results, there are a few ways to neutralize LMR once it begins.

Agree in words, but not in action. Simply affirm whatever doubt she voices as if you are going to do what she says, but go on moving the seduction forward. “It’s too soon.” “I agree.” “Maybe we should slow down.” “I agree.” “But we hardly know each other.” “I agree.” “OMG, there’s no way I can fit that.” “I agree.” This tactic works better if you pull back a little every time she complains. Let’s say you have a hand on her breast. If she hits the brakes, you move your hand off and stroke the outside of her leg, then move it back up to her breasts after a minute. Repeat ad nauseam. With some girls you will be saying I agree 20 or 30 times before she succumbs. Patience and persistence are your best allies now.

Seduce her. This tactic requires more intelligence because you’ll be attempting to talk her out of her second thoughts. It’s a more direct approach to dealing with the virgin on her shoulder whispering in her ear to slow down, so you’d better know what you are doing because the more you talk the more you risk saying something logical that’ll kill the mood. The key is to distract her from logical thinking and make her focus on her runaway emotions, which is every women’s Achilles’ heel. A seduction which fries her circuits would sound like this:

Sometimes we need to lose ourselves to find ourselves, don’t you think? The most passionate relationships start instantly, like you both knew it was destined to happen, and nothing getting in the way of that would feel right. It’s crazy, isn’t it? I have been making love to you from the moment I saw you.

Preempt her. This is my preferred method, and probably the most effective. You make your intentions known then immediately acknowledge a barrier to fulfilling those intentions. I want to kiss you all over, make love to you all night, and hold you close in the morning, but we should get to know each other first. Or, if the barrier is external: I’d fuck you against that tree right now like we were animals in the woods, but a hiker might walk by and see us. This shows her you understand her. Plus, it relieves the pressure she’s feeling without sacrificing the sexual tension. Then when she’s later ripping off her clothes she will rationalize that you both got caught up in the moment despite the barriers to sex.

Freeze her out. Some girls are pure unfiltered evil. Hours of foreplay that lead to zero conclusion can inflate a man’s sack to a medically inappropriate breaking point. Cockteasing in the bedroom is pure power play. Solution? Be careful not to show exasperation by getting up and doing something random. Start working on a painting. “What are you doing?” “Painting.” “Why?” “I just got an idea for the color scheme here. I want to get it down before it disappears.” [Students of NLP will notice the embedded language of loss anchored to the moment.] She’ll likely re-initiate.

If none of the above work, stop bothering. There will come a point when persistence turns into desperation. If she’s really adamant about saving herself for the 100th date instead of the 99th, bump her down the queue. She is now a second class citizen to the other girls in your world. Your sex and love are valuable and if she wants another shot with you she’ll have to prove herself.

THE MOST EXCITING SEX

I’ve written before that the path to sexual nirvana is through hot women. The hotter the girl, the steamier the sex. Simple formula. So put away your Zen and the Art of Existential Orgasm books and your handcuffs and mood lighting and liquor and rohypnol and owl masks and instead focus on landing yourself a hot babe. No need to overcomplicate things. Your penis cannot be fooled.

Once you’ve satisfied that basic requirement for nutblasting sex, there are ways to turbocharge the sex into the stratosphere of awesomeness. When you mix together certain ingredients you can achieve paralytic sexual bliss; the kind of orgasm that will stiffen your entire body as if it were a mere appendage to the centrality of your dick, and seize your brain in a white light-pricked near life experience.

Public sex is a necessary precondition. There needs to be a real threat of getting caught. You must also be outdoors in the woods, communing with Mother Vulva. The crackle of twigs underfoot, the sun streaming through a canopy of oak leaves, the chittering of small and not so small woodland creatures, and the invigorating organic aroma of pristine air and decomposing brush will throw in stark relief the animalistic nature of your love. There must be people in the vicinity. The thrill of seeing people while fucking and not being seen by them is incomparable. It’s like a one-way mirror where the observed subjects going about their daily mundane routine act to heighten the depravity on the other side. If some of those people are children under the protective wing of their parents, even better. The wicked ascends on the backs of the innocent. The risk of despoiling in a most evil fashion the purest among us will inflame your lust.

There must also be clothes in the way. You will feel your boner harden like steel-forged nipples when you have to push up a skirt or pull aside running shorts and panties to gain access. Clothes — and the clumsy grappling to move them out of the way — will pump your blood with the urgency of fast and furious sex.

Your woman must be either an angel on earth, or a dirty whore. A middle of the road typical chick with gangbang experience under her belt or a commitment to the three date rule isn’t going to cut it. If you want to lift yourself to the heights of ecstasy you must feel like you are piercing the womanhood of a truly uncorrupted vagina, or, on the opposite end, spiraling downward into the pits of sin with a filthy slut.

One of the most exciting sexual experiences I ever had happened in the woods, mid-day, springtime. We had just finished a hike and I pulled her off the designated path deeper into the wood. She was wearing loose-fitting running shorts. She was married, and I knew this. I was fucking a cheating whore. I pressed her chest against a boulder that fully concealed us from view and yanked aside her shorts for rear entry. We heard voices approach. She balked, unconvincingly. No no no I don’t think this is a good idea. Ignoring her, I drove it in hard hoping to make her yelp in pain and was surprised by the wetness of her pussy. She had lubed up in mere seconds. The voices neared us. Some were the high-pitched squeals of children. I looked around the boulder and saw through the low branches of the trees a troop of girl scouts clambering down the hiking path, a few parents strolling lazily beside them. Forty feet separated the girl scouts from the penetrance of my manhood into my married whore’s cunt. They stopped; I held steady, cock buried to the hilt. A squirrel rummaged through dead leaves on the ground. My lover twitched. I had my hand her throat and felt her pulse with my fingertips. My grip tightened. One of the girl scouts wanted to go in the woods for a pine cone. We heard her pleading with her father. She took a few steps toward our boulder of love, then turned back around when someone shouted “doggie!” and they all went racing toward a labrador that had jumped in a large pond. The voices receded. I resumed my pumping action, inflicting scrapes on my lover’s cheeks and arms from pushing her against the stone. Her knees went wobbly with orgasm and she slipped down the rock a few inches, stifling the moan that wanted to rip out of her lungs. I halted her stumble and with a mighty final thrust unloaded inside her, a river of molten balljuice flooding her hole, my bulk mashing her face into the boulder. White spots danced in my mind as my peripheral vision temporarily faded. I had timed my blast perfectly to the happy squeal of a distant girl scout.

Later we passed them and the wet doggie who had jumped in the pond. I petted it on the head and exchanged pleasantries with the parents.

THE SEXIEST SEX POSITIONS

My list of the sexiest sex positions isn’t necessarily a list of the positions most likely to bring a girl to orgasm. A “sexy” sex position is one that mentally and emotionally arouses a girl beyond whatever she has experienced with any other man but you, you tiger. Sexy sex positions are often the same as or similar to those seen in classic steamy movies such as “9 1/2 Weeks” or “Secretary”. In contrast, the sex positions that maximally arouse a woman’s vagina and readily bring her to orgasm are in a different class than the sexy sex positions. Orgasm inducing sex positions are whatever gets the particular girl off, which for most girls involves hoisting her ankles over your shoulders and jackhammering her into bliss. If you want to know which type is more powerful, keep in mind the lovemaking sessions your girl will most remember — usually it will be those times your copulation was infused with a sexy Hollywood-ish vibe, where the real-life scene was cluttered with natural props and romantic lighting of the sort her memory can easily grasp and retrieve, and when the mood, tension, urgency and ambience were just right.

Sexy sex positions are often spontaneous; they are rarely planned, but they can be. If you attempt to blueprint a sexy sex position, you had better know what you’re doing. This is not amateur hour. Any whiff of calculated preplanning will ruin the memory for your girl.

The Venetian Blind Bang

It is 1 AM. The only light is that from a streetlamp streaming though the half-opened slits of a Venetian blind. You’re pulling your girl’s cocktail dress over her head as she writhes with anticipation. As one hand cups her breast, you push her back into the Venetian blinds, the street light painting shards of faint yellow across her face. Her fingers intertwine with the slats and her ass cheeks rattle the blind. Bonus: Exhibitionist thrill.

The Mighty Oak Rut

You’re in the deep woods. Small woodland creatures scurry. You press her body into the massive trunk of a majestic oak tree, yank her skirt up, and let her enjoy the pleasure of having two giant phalluses consume her. Species to avoid: Any smooth-barked tree. You want this to hurt her a little.

The Bearskin Rug Fuck

One white bearskin rug. Two glasses of red wine sitting on the floor nearby. One fireplace crackling with a winter fire. This is the setting for pure, intimate lovemaking. There will be no piston-like thrusting, only gentle, uninterrupted groin-to-groin missionary grinding. Yes, I once had a white bearskin rug and it was not a hipsterly ironic bearskin. Note: Do not try this during her period unless you have killed and bagged a red furred bear.

The Steamy Shower Sexytime

The shower is running. Her hair is wet and matted against her head and shoulders. She is facing away from you, into the shower stream, her hands awkwardly slipping against the tiled shower wall as she tries to steady herself from the onslaught of a powerful orgasm. You are doing her from behind, the natural lube of her pussy mixing with the warm water cascading down her belly and back. You push her harder into the wall, as her ass arches to meet your thrusts. Note: The trick to making shower sex memorable is to have one eye-catching curio or unique detail, such as oversized candles lining the tub. Or in your lustful haste you and her jump into the shower partially clothed.

Why this will leave an indelible imprint on your girl’s mind: I coaxed an amazingly sexy girl into the shower, her panties still clinging to her wet body. She was wearing black nail polish, and in the moisture and steam the nail polish had started to run, so that she left black streaks on the tiled shower wall where she had propped her hands for support as I fucked her from behind. The sex was so hot that afterwards I took a picture of the black streak marks she left on the tiles, as a memento:

The Muscle Car Straddle

You have parked your 1969 cherry apple red Mercury Cougar convertible in a deserted suburban park late at night. Swings from a children’s playground creak in the distance. Your girl straddles you in the driver’s seat, pushes aside her panties, and guides you in. She grinds into you as the sweet smelling humid summernight air enshrouds you and moonlight dances off the hood of your car. Bonus: Beep the horn with her backside at the moment of climax.

The Cemetery Fuck

This one will have to be planned by you. You are taking a nighttime stroll with your girl. The clock nears midnight. You “just happen” to walk past an old, creepy cemetery; the kind where the headstones have dates going back to the 1600s and thick vines wrap around everything. (Note: You may need to live in the Northeast to find these kinds of cemeteries). You locate an especially tragic gravestone, one where a young couple rests side by side in eternal sleep. You grab your girl’s fingers and trace the engraved names together. You lay her down in the leaf-covered grass, within view of the dead couple, and slide your hand under her pleated skirt. You keep your hand over her mouth and muffle her sex moans lest she wake ghosts in your presence. Bonus: If she’s superstitious, she will come in under 30 seconds.

The Nude Beach Stealth Bang

If you are on a nude beach in the Caribbean or on the island of Mykonos, You will want to wait until twilight to roll your girl onto her stomach and face plant her into the sand. Roll her over again like you are two rutting sea lions. Getting sand into her ass crack is a feature, not a bug. Thrill seekers: Do the same except during the day. Keep a minimum 20 yards from the nearest nudists and drape a large beach towel over your bodies. Grind, don’t thrust. Thrusting as your towel-covered ass goes up and down will be immediately visible to others.

The Warm Ocean Waters Intrusion

The Caribbean is a great place for fucking. As you and your girl bob on the gentle waves of azure waters, face the beach cove where your towel lays and people are sunning themselves, and gently nudge her bikini aside. Your dick should slide in like a buttered hot dog. You will want to be in neck deep water, because the Caribbean waters are very clear and you can see you feet even in five feet of water. You don’t want sunbathing Eurotrash to actually see the copulation. If your girl can tread water, wade out past the breakers where your feet don’t touch the sandy bottom. Bonus: Pulling out just before blasting to send spurts of your cum into the warm tropical waters will be a pleasure like none you’ve ever experienced before.

The Balcony Boff

Balcony. Nighttime. View of the city. Chair. Straddle. It works.

The Sheer Curtains Fuck

Do you have sheer, white, diaphanous floor length curtains in your home? If you do, you’ll want to have standing sex with your woman as the curtains wrap around you both, creating an exquisite tactile sensation against her skin. Bonus: Keep the window open so a breeze makes the curtain fabric dance around your beloved’s body.

Do all the above and she will compare all future beta boyfriends to the romantic, sexy moments she shared with you. They will never be able to please her like you did. You will have spoiled her for all other men. She will love you and hate you for this. Victory!

SEX TALK

Sex talk ranks up there with full body massages, cunnilingus, and 5,000 thread count bed sheets as an aphrodisiac for women. If you have a woman already into you through your game and personal attributes, the deft deployment of sex talk will boost her attraction for you into the stratosphere. A nimble tongue is like mental lube to a woman, opening her up for the physical act to follow. Properly delivered lines of descriptive eroticism whispered into her ear can turn her into a torrid gushing avalanche of desire.

The degree of difference between what wordplay stimulation will do to a woman’s sexual arousal and a man’s couldn’t be more stark. While men enjoy a marginal increase in pleasure listening to a woman moan and talk dirty during sex, women become absolutely apoplectic with lust when you describe the sexual tension in explicit detail. You can literally make a woman’s neck hair stand on end by telling her what you are about to do to her. (Note: If she is a pretentious artsy chick who never misses a First Friday at the R Street art galleries and takes great pains to display the right magazines on her coffee table, the more multisyllable and French words you will have to use. Brush up on your euphemisms. Smart chicks dig euphemisms.)

Of course, most men don’t do this because 1) it’s time away from actual fucking, 2) it seems kinda gay, and 3) they are not as verbally oriented as women and therefore don’t see the point in it. But catering to a woman’s interests doesn’t always have to entail sacrifice; sometimes it is a source of power. Once you understand that women respond wildly to a small investment of your time and effort arousing her with erotic commentary, you will use this to your advantage to have her hooked on you like a drug.

Speaking of getting a woman addicted to you, the Big Three things you can do in the bedroom, in order of effectiveness, that will have her thinking of you while stroking the zucchini in the supermarket are:

Squirting orgasms. This is the holy grail of sexual satisfaction. Learn to bring a woman to leg-trembling ecstasy by making her ejaculate with your fingers and she will cling to you like a baby chimpanzee on its mother’s back.

Regular orgasms. Not as nerve-frying or psychologically-imprinting as the squirting variety, but still effective, because if the studies are to be believed the majority of women don’t experience them with their men.

Sex Talk. Start reading some romance novels and incorporate the purple prose into your end game seduction routine.

Sex talk doesn’t have to be long-winded. What’s important is the vivid detail in what you say and the tone of voice you use to say it. Try to be as thorough in your erotic monologues as possible. Say it with a low, slow, gravelly voice very close to her left ear. Breathe heavily so that she feels the hot air on her skin. Here is an example of something I said to a girl which verbally stimulated her during a moment of intimacy:

How does it feel thinking about my hand slowly sliding down your belly, over the thatch of your pubic mound, and prying apart your cleft to expose your hot, wet, crimson lips waiting to be violently penetrated…

She gasped and said “Wow, that’s kind of a turn-on!”. Her wetness confirmed her words.

As mentioned above, for pretentious yuppie chicks you will want to substitute euphemisms for crass four letter words, especially if you are banging an art student or a DJ groupie. This makes whatever you say sound “literary”. For example, instead of saying this:

I’m gonna fuck your pussy with my rock hard cock and cum all over your face.

Say this:

I’m gonna pierce your womanhood with my throbbing turgid essence and unleash torrents of hot, sticky, demon seed all over your face.

Crass four letter words and painful hair-pulling are acceptable if you’re fucking a lawyer. In fact, they’re required.

PS: this was a meta-post for the ladies.

PLAY RAPE

Reader Chad emails:

Why so many rape fantasies in women’s romance novels? How to take advantage of this female perversion without getting arrested?

It’s true. Romance novels, read almost entirely by women, are flush full of rape fantasies. If fantasy (or as I like to call it, “hyperreality”) didn’t reflect reality then we would hear and read of fantasies by women featuring beta males, short dweebs, nerdos, fatsos, and charmless stutterers in the role of desired man. But we don’t. Women’s fantasies, like men’s fantasies, provide a window into a wished-for reality where all options are available, all choice catered to, all desires quenched. Rape fantasy, despite the protestations to the contrary of the “fantasy is different than reality” crowd, is as much a reflection of real female desire as any other form of sexual fantasy.

Women fantasize about a lot of things that no one argues don’t reflect reality if that reality were an option. What fantasizing woman wouldn’t truly want to be a princess who gets swept off her feet by a prince living in a castle? What single woman who dreams it wouldn’t sleep with Johnny Depp in real life if he propositioned her? These are common fantasies of women which they never argue aren’t reflections of how they wish reality were. So why should we grant a plenary indulgence to rape fantasies? How is it that rape fantasy is the one glaring exception to the reality-reflection rule? Men also fantasize about stuff like threesomes with supermodels, but no one in their right mind would argue that men don’t actually want threesomes with supermodels in reality, if having them were possible. (Wives or girlfriends, don’t bother asking your partners. You won’t get an honest answer.)

Back when I was a stripling newly intoxicated to the allure of women, I went to the local library and read a few pulp romance novels to better understand the contours of female desire. (I knew even then that romance novels are wank material for women.) Naturally, being a man, I chubbed out reading the surprisingly explicit sex scenes and was bored with the rest of the plot. Let me tell you, the dreck of the literary world lies in the pulp romance genre. But I soldiered on. I knew that some keys to successfully seducing women would be found in between the pages of those trashy paperbacks.

And, yes, the books I read had rape scenes. I remember recoiling at those, wondering at the depravity of women if this is what they craved. I looked for commonalities in those scenes and noticed that words like “overpowered”, “overwhelmed” and “powerless” were used frequently. The horny protagonists victims were often pushed up against solid objects, like big oak trees, and roughhoused from behind, never once seeing the face of their attacker (he often wore a mask), although there was much florid description of his musky aroma and muscular body pressing into her helplessly yielding flesh.

Rape fantasy reflects a deep, inborn, uncompromising sexual desire by women to be rendered helpless, almost childlike, by a more powerful man. It is the submissive scrawling of their hindbrains, a message in a novel sailing forth from the female limbic labyrinth. And from submission to a dominant male force is born the strongest love.

I loved that he was so powerful I was nothing.

– O

Does this mean women would be sexually turned on by real life rape? It is a question not so easily dismissed when we begin to examine closely the sexual fantasies of women. Dismissed it is, though, because no one — man or woman — wants to creak open the vault door that houses such primeval female decadence. For if women do harbor secret desires for dark seductions, then what is left of the pretext to chivalry? Women benefit from some amount of cultural pedestalization. *Societies* benefit. There is no room in a healthy, functioning society for mischievous inquisitors to lay bare the true soul of woman.

My understanding of women, and from what I’ve gleaned from their romance novel porn, leads me to believe that rape is a fantasy for women when the rapist is implied or otherwise insinuated to be the sort of man for whom women would surrender themselves in other contexts willingly, (i. e. an alpha). Women do have a natural sociobiological revulsion to rape by losers, because their most precious asset — their womb — cannot suffer lightly the gimped seed of omega chumps forcibly implanted. But what of rape by a masked alpha? That’s where the moral certainty yields to an unforgiving, and wholly discomfiting, ambiguity.

To Chad’s question above — how to take advantage of this female perversion without getting arrested — I would not suggest actual rape of your beloved. Don’t jump out at her from behind a bush while she’s walking home alone at night. But there are ways to simulate the heady rush of a lustful rape that will not only press her buttons, but yours as well.

Inform her that one night in the not too distant future she will experience something she won’t be prepared for, and shouldn’t expect to prepare for. On that night, while she’s getting ready for bed, you will cut the fuses so all the lights go out. As she’s standing in the dark, approach the doorway wearing a ski mask and dark clothes, and slowly instruct her to put her hands against the wall, in front of the window. She will, naturally, recognize your voice, so some of her fear will be mediated, but she won’t be able to see your face. It is important for the rape enactment that you act as if you are not who she thinks you are. She will appreciate this ruse, and might even be able to tempt herself with the thought that you are a stranger who sounds like her lover.

With her hands on the wall, you will approach her from behind, reminding her not to look back at you. Tell her not to struggle or make a sound. As you step up behind her, put a knife to her throat (for advanced rape enactors only) and allow your body to linger closely without touching her for a minute. Breathe heavily, creeper style. Then thrust your hand violently under her oversized nighty t-shirt and grab her panties, pulling them across her ass until they rip. Bury your hand in her mound. She will be dripping wet. Put your wet hand to her nose and angrily whisper in her ear that her wet pussy belies her fear. She will attempt to turn around to see you. With your hand firmly clutching her face, force her eyes forward. Press her cheek hard into the windowpane. Enter her.

When you are spent, I guarantee that afterward she will lovingly rest her head in your chest and confess that she had the most earth shattering orgasm of her life. Repeat for your other three girlfriends.

SEX AND SOCKS

Why are women offended by the wearing of socks during sex?

WHY YOU SHOULD LEAVE AFTER SEX

Because it will signal your high male mate status:

Chapter 5, “Green-Eyed Desire: From Guarding a Mate to Trading Up,” deals with other economic constraints relating to the human mating market. Women appear to use sex to help guard male mates by keeping them satisfied, reminding men what they stand to lose should they defect—or as many women in the study put it, “keep[ing] his mind off other women.” Women also seem to be motivated to sometimes have sex with other men as a way of gaining information about their mate value or to obtain a better partner—i. e., to “trade-up” in the mating market. Attracting a high-quality mate can allow a woman to enhance and evaluate her mate value, and many women cited this as a reason to have sex. The authors refer to research showing that women do this more often around ovulation.

So what does this have to do with leaving a woman’s company soon after sex? Much can be inferred from the study results in the quote above. For instance, if women use sex to keep a mate satisfied and his mind off chasing other women, then a hasty post-coitus skedaddle undermines her mate guarding efforts; she will be compelled to try even harder in the sack next time. And as I’ve noted before, a solid, healthy relationship rests on a foundation of the woman chasing the man. The day your woman succeeds at guarding you is the day you begin the slide into betahood, infrequent sex, cuckoldry, and eventual breakup.

More importantly, since women sometimes use sex with new men to enhance and evaluate their own mate value, a calculated quick departure after sex will disrupt her self-evaluative process, leading her to conclude that she isn’t as hot as she thought (which is exactly what you want her to think). While landing a charming SOB like yourself for sex will boost a girl’s ego, persuading you to linger afterward to cuddle will send her ego straight into the stratosphere. Since American women’s egos are already in the stratosphere, theirs will get propelled into distant galaxies. It’s critical that you keep a woman’s ego in check if you want to enjoy years of blissful love and sexual release.

This study, and its implications, confirms my everyday experiences. I have noticed that when I leave a chick right after sex — either directly by walking out or indirectly by nudging her out — she will text or call like a woman in love the very next day, or even later that night. The post-coitus premature exit (PCPE) is especially powerful when executed at two in the morning.

If you are at her place, many times a girl will invite you to stay for the night. She’ll couch it in plausibly deniable terms, such as “You’re welcome to stay if it’s too late for you to grab a taxi now.” If you need an excuse to drop a PCPE, just tell her you have to get up early for a business trip. If you and her are at your place instead, assume the PCPE by announcing soon after sex that you’ll be happy to walk her to her car or her home, and that she must be looking forward to sleeping in her own bed.

Whatever you do, avoid the post-coitus cuddle with a new girl who is above the average quality of girls you normally get. If you’ve had the good fortune, or expertise, to bag yourself the female equivalent of a 12 point buck, you don’t want to ruin your established high mate value and budding relationship momentum by snuggling and squeezing her tight as if she were your childhood security blanket. Post-sex cuddling is like a chemical reaction which drains your testosterone by the minute. Intimate cuddling will convince a girl to give herself high marks on her self-evaluation, and once she’s done this the odds she will see you as a worthy mate for the long haul — sexual or otherwise – drop precipitously. It’s all done on the subconscious level of course, but that’s the level that is most dangerous, since it operates by flying under the radar of our conscious perimeter defenses.

Looking at all my flings, one night stands, and relationships, the ones where I rolled over after sex and gave the girl my back, or where I got out of bed and put on my clothes to go home, were the ones I was in complete command of the direction of the romance. I never had to initiate texts or phone calls, or come up with date ideas, with those girls; they did all the legwork.

6 GAME: RELATIONSHIPS

GOING ALL IN OR CASHING OUT

A reader laments:

I met this incredibly cute girl who really did it for me and we’ve been dating for four months. But lately I’ve felt less and less like having sex with her. She still looks great but my thoughts wander to hooking up with other women I see every day. I’ve even been having sex dreams about ex’s. Has this happened to you? I don’t want to break up with her because she might be the best I can get at the moment, but my horniness for her is disappearing.

This is the classic relationship conundrum that all men experience — whether to go all in for a shot at the big pot, or cash out of the dating market altogether and settle into a life of comfortable ennui with one’s respectable winnings. Two endogenous factors will influence a man to one or the other choice: the number and sensitivity of his dopamine receptors, and his ability to pick up equally hot or hotter girls within a reasonable time frame. Two exogenous factors will also exert influence over his decision: the hotness of his current girlfriend, and the number of available potential replacements within his milieu.

A thrill-seeking man with tight game and a track record of fulfilling his desires who is currently dating below his level in a region filled with single beautiful women will be very difficult to corral into a monogamous relationship by any but the hottest girls. Strong cultural stigma and peer pressure, coupled with a 9 or a 10 on his arm, are the only counterweights capable of restraining his impulses. Men like these types are the reason why women rush their newly-minted alpha hubbies out to the bland suburbs where he won’t be tempted by a daily farmer’s market of juicy, ripe fruit for the plucking, and where his energy and focus will be spent paying off the McMansion mortgage.

A tentative man with no game and few past lovers of any note who is currently dating at or above his level in a region bereft of single beautiful women will be loath to leave such an arrangement. Strong cultural stigma and peer pressure are not needed for him to remain monogamous, except when he gets dumped and needs a kick in the ass to begin meeting new women. Men like these types are happy to run to the suburbs, to get their wives away from the roving alpha males.

The four factors are important, but it is the man’s skill with women and the hotness of his girlfriend which will most determine his likelihood to stick with her for a long time. In fact, a girlfriend’s hotness alone is an amazingly accurate predictor of how quickly the average man will grow bored of sex with her (if he is honest with himself).

GF’s hotness

Time to boredom

0

0 seconds

1

0.1 seconds

2

0.5 seconds

3

1.1 seconds

4

15 seconds

5

5 minutes (this is very much an exponential plot)

6

3 weeks

7

6 months

8

2 years

9

5 years

10

10 years to never

Ladies, do you have trouble pulling your man away from video games to share passionate intimacy with you? Might want to look in the mirror. The fault, dear Beatrice, lies not in the stars (or in self-medicating thoughts that his plumbing is failing), but in you.

Now growing bored with girlfriend sex is not the same as running off to find new pussy. Many men make the sensible and quite logical calculation, based on a confluence of the factors listed above, that the risk of a long dry spell in the field is not worth the loss of tepid schtupping on the regular, no matter how rote it has become. And many of these men go on to lead lives of quiet resignation that their days of lackluster sex will follow them to the grave. It is this fear of the hopeless, grinding dry spell that keeps many ugly couples together, and breeding their ugliness into future generations.

There is also a vicious feedback loop that exacerbates the tendency of successful womanizers to continue their pump and dump ways. If the average man who is used to no better than 5s or 6s hooks up with a 7, he will be happy for quite a while with her IF his self-conception remains static. Yet, what will we likely see? His ego will grow in lockstep with the improving looks of his conquests, thus spurring him to greater challenges. Men who see sudden improvements to their game and consequently, their meet to lay ratio, are usually the most imprudent at relationship management, because their egos carry them perpetually forward searching for hotter girls until their limits are reached. The worst LTR prospect for a woman is the man new to game; he is a world of pain waiting for her. The best LTR prospects for women would be quasi-virginal men who have not had the beta beaten into them, or established players who are happy with their record of accomplishment and ready to slow down.

So… to go all in or cash out? Remember, there is a real risk that years of loneliness or regret are your fate should you jettison your devoted but familiar lover for the excitement of fresh meat. That in mind, I can only offer these words of wisdom:

You will get bored of sex with every girl you date/love/marry. The only question is how soon.

No girl can completely satisfy you. As soon as you meet such a girl, your standards will shift upward. This is the nature of your humanity.

You should go all in at least once in your life. You’d be surprised what you can achieve under duress.

Relatedly, you should not use one big winning from going all in to justify going all in all the time. That is the newb’s curse, and it will vex you in time. Sometimes, you do find that great girl, and the upside of gaining fresher pussy isn’t worth the downside of losing loving pussy.

If your game is good, throw your chips around like a whale. But always be open to the possibility of a final hand.

If your game is really good….. MLTR!

God bless!

PS Sex dreams featuring exes are pretty common for men. We have a tendency to fondly remember with rose-colored glasses the best of our exes while conveniently shunting aside the shit that drove us crazy. Coupled with our harem drive, it’s no wonder our brains fire off nighttime visions of multiple lovers past and present. That is why men will rarely have “love dreams” of former girlfriends. Fuck, I can recall the vulvas of at least five exes with more clarity than I can their faces.

HEDONIC CONVERGENCE

dr. lecter has no interest in hypothesis. he doesn’t believe in syllogism,

or synthesis, or any absolute.

what does he believe in?

chaos. and you don’t even have to believe in it. it’s self-evident.

– Hannibal

things fall apart; the center cannot hold

– yeats

Any instability in a relationship is like carrying a brimming cup of coffee around the office; once the coffee starts sloshing about in the cup the momentum builds until you’re forced to stand still to keep it from flying out. Relationship management is like this — forward progress punctuated by dramafests followed by cooling off periods to give everything a chance to settle down. The less stable the relationship, the wilder and more frequent the swings between drama and normalcy, until one day the coffee is all over your shirt and there’s nothing left but a stirrer in the cup.

We all aspire to drama-free love lives (or, at least, drama on our own terms) so the question is: what makes a stable relationship? The best way to answer this is to turn to analogies, because they are more fun to write. The US and USSR had a stable relationship through most of the Cold War. Two superlovers with roughly the same number of nukes (i. e., alpha characteristics) for a few decades until the US began to outspend (i. e., raise her sexual market value above) her commie lover. The USSR, big proud bear that he was, sensed his lover pulling away from him and his status diminishing in turn. He frantically tried to play catch-up but it was too late; she finally saw him for what he always had been — a drunk, brutish, pigheaded, financially insolvent badboy who was falling apart at the seams. The fair maiden US trotted off to make sweet love with Brussels eurocrats, leaving behind a sulking ex-BF to lick his wounds and rebound with loyalist east Ukraine crack hos.

When a guy and a girl start a torrid affair with equal number of nukes they can fall in the kind of love that will turn crunch-faced cynicism into limpid-eyed naivete. JFK said as much during the Cuban missile crisis. You know where you stand with this person. There is no feeling that you are any less than your lover and no fear that they will leave you or go berserk when the chips are down. While you both have your own groups of friends, you know that you two together are the most important people in the world — Wonder Twins in the form of a romantic movie moment. It’s the mutually assured destruction theory of relationships — a cataclysmic breakup would mean both of you will be much worse off and unlikely to find another perfectly matched partner.

Therefore, the best way to ensure a stable relationship is to be with someone who matches you in attractiveness. This is derisively known as settling, because at the start of our journeys to fulfillment in the only thing that matters – namely, love and sex – we bristle with optimistic hubris and shoot for the stars. Thoughts of being with someone who is less than our ideal is anathema. Women are particularly prone to this self-deluding malady, sometimes so in thrall to their romantic ideals that they take the Acela straight into spinsterhood, sad, but principled. Their aversion to settling is stronger than men’s because the cost to them of a bad choice in mating partner is much greater than it would be for a man. And the fact that women can go long stretches without sex, like a camel without water in the desert, and still keep their sanity helps them stick to their guns.(A girl friend once told me “For women, when we’re not getting it, we kinda forget about it. When we’re getting it, we crave it. For men, when you guys aren’t getting it, you crave it.”)

The problem with ideals is that you had better be pretty ideal yourself if you want from others what others want from you. You get what you give. If the planets align and you miraculously hook a partner way above you in sexual market value, be prepared to feel a tightening in your chest every time your lover doesn’t answer a text message promptly or you see him or her garnering the attention of the opposite sex while at a party together. This is your emotional backchannel letting you know that you are punching above your weight and it might be time to think more realistically if you want a shot at a happy life. Without a closely-matched lover we are doomed to scooping out buckets of water from a boat with a hole in its hull.

By “closely-matched” I mean, of course, the woman’s beauty = the man’s power. For every one point up the hotness scale a woman goes, the man had better bring a commensurate increase in power. Luckily for a man, he can work to increase his power. A woman is pretty much stuck with what she was born with. The good news for women is that if you are born with the genes for beauty there isn’t a whole lot you need to do to sell yourself; your product has inherent value. The good news for men is that power comes in many forms — looks, charm, creativity, money, dominance — that while somewhat governed by genetic heritage can also be improved upon.

When the pairing is mismatched, the lower value partner will exert less control over the direction of the relationship. He or she will be constantly buffeted by the ever-present threat of higher value prospects in the mating pool winning the affections of the higher value partner. This is bad for the ego and is a recipe for perpetual heartache. The lure of your amazing catch will wear thin once you realize you are not the locus of his or her love.

I once dated a girl who was quite stunning, educated, and career-oriented. My game and innate qualities allows me to handle women like this. But she had a wealthy ex-fiancee whom she had been with for three years prior to meeting me. The combination of the time, love and experiences she shared with him plus his keeping in contact with her plus his objectively high status meant that I would constantly have to fight to be perceived by her as an equal to her ex. For five months, I succeeded, by playing some of my best gamesmanship. It was like watching a tennis match, with volleys of calculated aloofness and mighty serves of manipulative jealousy, backhands of backhanded compliments and psychological power plays at the net. I even kept two girls in reserve, fucking them and loving them on the in-between days, to make sure I stayed stone cold savvy. No matter… I always felt she had one foot in, one foot out of our relationship. In the end, she married the ex-fiancee. Our fling helped sharpen my game immensely, but at the cost of time better spent cultivating what I had with the other girls in my life.

It’s no spring breeze for the higher value partner in a relationship, either. While the HVPs have the leverage to control the outcome of their relationships, they will always feel temptation to trade up. Resisting temptation is an exercise in futility when your whole world is saturated with willing accomplices and every one of your senses is telling you the person you chose to invest your valuable time with is not the best you can do. Sitting in the driver’s seat of a 20 year old Honda civic will get you where you want to go, but the ride won’t be as fun as it could be and you’ll feel guilty for pushing the car to the brink of mechanical failure. Especially when someone just threw you the keys to a brand new Lexus. Dating multiple partners who are OK with your polyamory will alleviate some of the tension, but eventually dating disharmony frays even the best of intentions.

We’ve all known couples who dated out of their league. And when they inevitably broke up, we were not surprised. But thinking about those breakups, how many were really devastated by them? More likely, the exes experienced some relief mixed in with the feelings of loss. The archetypical high-energy breakups, the ones where there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth, social withdrawal, and months of rehabilitation, are usually the result of closely matched relationships blindsided by some fluke of the fates or one partner taking the other for granted and realizing too late how perfectly matched they really were.

Happiness in love rests in large part on your ability to get past your ego and see yourself for who you truly are and how much you actually bring to the table. It’s a soul-wrenching process of self-examination that sometimes only happens after years of reality have pounded into you the fact of your true worth. If you don’t like your market value, then do what you can to raise it. Otherwise, keep tilting at windmills. You never know, someday soon human nature might change.

DREAD

There are two ways to guarantee a healthy relationship. By healthy, I mean the girl is in love with you and there is no threat of her leaving; you have all the leverage you need to assure yourself peace of mind and a steady sexual outlet.

Meet your soulmate

If you are extremely lucky enough to cross paths with your soulmate this is the easiest way to live the kind of romantic bliss that Hollywood movies exalt. A soulmate connection is the Golden Ticket to happiness and a dreamlike existence. But it is rare. Don’t live as if it will happen to you. I estimate 1% of all men and 2% of all women meet their soulmates. The reason for the discrepancy is that male soulmates are in shorter supply than female soulmates. Male soulmates are shared amongst the women like a community hookah.

Instill dread

Women respond viscerally in their vagina area to unpredictability, mixed signals, danger, and drama in spite of their best efforts to convince themselves otherwise. Managing your relationship in such a way that she is left with a constant, gnawing feeling of impending doom will do more for your cause than all the Valentine’s Day cards and expertly performed tongue love in the world. Like it or not, the threat of a looming breakup, whether the facts justify it or not, will spin her into a paranoid estrogen-fueled tizzy, and she’ll spend every waking second thinking about you, thinking about the relationship, thinking about how to fix it. Her love for you will blossom under these conditions. Result: she works harder to please you.

The key for the man is to adopt a posture of blase emotional distance alternated with loving tenderness. Too much of either and she’ll run off.

Examples of effective doom inducement:

Turn off your cell phone twice a week. Alternate days. Don’t do this on a Friday or Saturday night unless the relationship is shaky and needs a high voltage jolt of dread.

Make a blatant but plausibly deniable move on one of her friends when she’s not around. The news will get back to her. Milk it.

Call her from a very busy place so that she can hear women’s voices laughing and shrieking in the background. Don’t tell her where you are when she asks. Just say you’ll see her soon.

Mention how skilled your Russian ex was at giving head. Bring it up again a few days later, pretending not to remember the first time you mentioned it. Bonus: Russians are very good at giving head, so this will have the ring of truth.

Be seen by your girlfriend flirting with other women in a social venue. Extra points if the women are attractive. Double extra points if you flirt without looking back at your girlfriend once to check her reaction.

Cook her a romantic candlelight dinner at home. Make it a memorable experience, complete with jazz, chocolate, and rose petals. Then, do not talk with her for four days afterwards.

Ignore her calls for a week. When you eventually answer and she reads you the riot act, act as if nothing was wrong and accuse her of sabotaging a perfectly good relationship, “just like all the other women in this stupid city. I thought you were different”. Hang up on her angrily.

When her best friend tells you how cute you and your girlfriend look together, shrug, put your hand to the back of your neck as if to scratch an itch there, look down slightly and with a mildly annoyed expression blandly sigh “Yeeeeah…”. Triple bonus points if your girlfriend is standing right there.

When she attempts the jealousy maneuver by flirting with another guy, act unfazed. Give her pickup tips.

Gaze longingly into her eyes, say how hot she looks, then immediately glance sidelong at the bosom of any strange woman in the vicinity.

Have a threesome. Spend an inordinate amount of time admiring the labia of the other woman. Be sure to moan louder with her. WARNING: If you cum on the other woman you will have to spend weeks consoling your girlfriend.

Say things like “I really value my independence and freedom” relevant to nothing in particular. It’s just a thought that popped in your head.

Thermonuclear Option:

Have an affair and make sure she finds out about it. Arrange the confrontation so that it does not happen at your place. When she confronts you, don’t get defensive. Don’t speak at all. Let her vent. Let her punch you in the chest and scream obscenities. When she takes a breather, tell her she’s never looked more beautiful and you will never stop loving her. Then without waiting for her response calmly walk out the door and break off all contact for two weeks. When she comes back to you… and she will… you will have a love slave for life.

KEYS TO A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

Install a high-powered fan in your bathroom to drown out the sounds of your woman crapping in the morning. *plop plop*!

Let her do the talking 80% of the time and the action 20% of the time.

Tease her 99 out of 100 verbal interactions. Walk right up to the point of offending her, and stop short there. This is an art. With practice, it will come second nature.

Notice something flattering about her once every ten hours together. Complimenting her choice in shoes is a sure bet.

After a makeout, say, “You just gave me a boney.”

Do not roll on your own condoms. That’s what she has hands, feet and a mouth for. Most girls love to put the condom on, anyhow.

After you’ve shot your whey protein-boosted load across her chest, admire your handiwork for a bit, get up, grab a towel, and throw it in her face while saying “You’d better clean yourself off, babe.” This is catnip to chicks. I don’t know why. Just run with it.

If you’re going to appreciate one thing about your woman, appreciate her cooking. Second choice: Her sexual prowess.

Be late for one out of three dates. When out on the town with your girl, saunter off for fifteen minutes to talk to a bartender/friend/lonely old guy, leaving her wondering where you’ve gone. Lesson: Don’t be *too* reliable.

Don’t rummage through her dirty laundry out of morbid curiosity. You won’t like what you find.

Two words: Air fresheners.

If you catch her pooping, peeing, shaving, tweezing, squeezing, popping, plucking, picking, inserting, removing, douching, trimming, waxing, or sandpapering, pretend you didn’t notice.

Do NOT, under any circumstance, get a cat. She will divide her love between you and the cat.

Dogs are OK, though, as long as the dog is more loyal to you than to her. Train the dog to sniff out the arrival of her period. Which brings us to…

Temporarily walk out of her life when she’s on the rag. Come back when the coast is clear.

Password-protect the digital photo, digital “black book”, and porn folders on your computer. Remember to delete photos of exes and current girlfriends from your camera. (I learned this the hard way.)

Leave articles about low carb dieting and weightlifting conspicuously lying around your home. Include one article about a guy who left his fat wife for a skinny co-ed. Best to nip any future problems in the bud.

Don’t arm wrestle her if you can’t beat her.

Don’t be a cheapskate with the toilet paper. Minimum three-ply. You can cut corners elsewhere.

Go shooting with her at least once.

Commit this line to memory: “It looks better on you, honey.”

And the Number One Key to a healthy relationship:

Cum in her mouth and hold it closed until she swallows it. Also known as: Pair bonding.

RELATIONSHIP GAME WEEK

Around the four month mark you’re going to start taking your girlfriend on weekend trips, unless you are a beta, in which case you will be planning romantic weekends before you’ve even kissed her. Romantic (read: nonstop bedroom pounding) getaways include bed and breakfasts in the mountains, oceanview hotels or beach house rentals, horseback riding, ski chalets, quaint cottages in Tuscany (if you’ve got discretionary cash and you like her so much that you don’t mind wasting a trip to Italy on her instead of pursuing the local Italian women), and camping if she’s the outdoorsy type.

After your first romantic weekend, give her at least two days space once you’ve returned home. That means don’t call her. The reason for this has to do with a fundamental difference between men and women in how we perceive romantic gestures. To men, a romantic weekend away is an opportunity to share uninterrupted pleasure with a chick to whom we have deemed worthy enough to devote an entire weekend. Men value romantic weekends based on the pleasurable benefits we anticipate for ourselves, in order from most eagerly anticipated to least: Sex, affection, low stress, and good dining. The “relationship” and “where it is heading” comes in a distant tenth, right after rejoicing that we came in under budget.

To women, a romantic weekend away, particularly the first romantic weekend with a new lover, is only peripherally about pleasure. Everything in a woman’s life must have a “deeper meaning”, and this goes double for a romantic getaway with her boyfriend. Since women are more practical than men, they cannot live in the now as easily as men do, and are always contemplating the future. This is because pregnancy and kids are never far from a woman’s subconscious thoughts, so every experience can’t just be enjoyed on its own; it has to be dissected and analyzed to determine the man’s fit into the larger picture of house, husband, children, divorce theft bonanza.

A woman’s emotions will be turbulent after a heady romantic weekend together. If you had a good time, she will need a couple of days to process the weekend, and your place in her life. The hamster in her head will be running itself to death. It’s best to stay clear of her during this time, which usually lasts a couple days (add a few days if she’s PMSing), so that she can complete the transition from emotional entropy to steady state equilibrium without your presence and your words potentially fucking up the transition for the worse. I recommend playing it safe and avoiding all contact with her until her emotions have calmed.

If you call her right after the romantic weekend, you might be surprised to find she doesn’t pick up her phone or, if she does, she sounds weird and snippish. Don’t let this throw you; it’s just her brain settling down after you powerfully jostled it from its humdrum routine. Calling too soon means you risk getting ensnared in her confusion. But by waiting a couple days to make your post romantic weekend followup call, you’ll find she has returned to normal and is happier than ever to hear from you.

Remember, a woman in emotional upheaval is not sparring you, she is sparring herself. The best thing you can do is step the fuck aside and let her come to peace with her overworked head hamster. She’ll either convince herself she loves you even more than she thought she did, or she’ll freak out and leave the country. Either way, you’ve saved yourself some unnecessary bullshit.

RELATIONSHIP GAME WEEK: SUBTLE DOMINANCE PLAYS

Reader PA left a comment describing how he once held his woman’s hand “against the grain” as they walked — that is, his hand was behind her hand. He said she did not like the unnatural feel of it. In the interest of corroborating this peculiar observation, I did the same with one of my girls. I prepped her first and explained that I was going to hold her hand differently, and she was to tell me how it made her feel.

As we were walking down the sidewalk, I moved my hand behind hers, such that her hand was in front (back of her hand facing forward) while my hand, fingers intertwined, was in back (my palm facing forward into her palm).

Two point five seconds elapsed before she spoke.

“Ew.”

“Ew?”

“It feels weird. I don’t like it.” She dislodged her hand from mine violently, and resumed the traditional style with her hand resting behind my hand.

“What was weird about it?”

“I don’t know, but it felt wrong. Like smelling something really bad.”

At this point, I would like to inform the studio audience that my girl was a professed feminist, a real “I am wymyn, hear me roar” product of our nation’s higher miseducation system. And yet, here she was, unknowing victim to her biomechanical urge to be submissive to a dominant male, even in something as trivial as the arrangement of our handholding while we walked together.

I write a lot about the importance of psychosocial dominance in male game, and how of all the positive traits a man can possess nothing is as effective as his subconscious dominance cues for turning on the gina spigot — not money, not looks, not humor. Fame is perhaps the only trait that can score a man more pussy more easily. Naturally, when the femtards show up here they see the word “dominance” and they immediately screech and squeal about how this means I advocate men should beat women, or that women should be relegated to life under burqas. But as is typical for the vajflapping brigade, they are incapable of comprehending the finer distinctions of subject matter that offends their delicate… or should I say weak?… sensibilities.

Psychosocial dominance is not a warhammer to the head; it’s akin to an ancient language spoken in hushed tones by our mind’s central command under the noisy clacking of our glitzy human interface. It is subtle, but not so subtle that it can’t be gleaned, and learned by those who have less of it. Game is, in effect, a system for recognizing and mimicking those male mate value dominance cues in one’s behavior. These dominance cues can be either the behavior evinced by alpha men over lesser men, or by men over women. The two types of dominance are not the same (see: social proof), but there is plenty of overlap.

Here are some other subtle dominance moves that you should incorporate into your relationships with women, thus ensuring years of freely available sex, affection, and loyalty:

Don’t trail your woman in the grocery store. If you’re pushing a cart, stay in front of her. Never linger over brands on the shelves. Know which food you want before you get to the store. If she lingers too long, make her food decision for her. Occasionally veer off to another aisle to do your “man-time” shopping, leaving her wondering where you went for a minute. Return with an industrial sized bottle of lube and an innocent look on your face.

Don’t ponder your decisions out loud. Women hate indecisive men, even when that indecisiveness leads to better choices. As gina tingles go, it’s preferable to make a wrong decision than to make no decision.

Never discuss money matters with your woman. She’ll love you more if in a moment of desperation you are caught stealing and thrown in jail than if you whine about having no money.

Don’t “keep an eye” on your woman. If, for instance, you are at a party, don’t trail her around the room with your eyes. Either ignore her, or join her. Occasional knowing winks are permitted.

Learn the power of NO. “Can I borrow this book?” “No, I’m still reading it. You can have it when I’m done.”

Don’t be a “sensitive guy”. No one likes that guy, especially not women, despite their insistence to the contrary. When she cries, don’t rush over to comfort her. Let her cry. Like an ex of mine once told me, “Sometimes a girl just needs a cry.” If her brooding bothers you, leave to hang with your buddies or find a household project to work on. If you feel you absolutely must do something as a token of sympathy, hand her a box of Kleenex.

When seating yourself at a restaurant, always put her in the chair that affords maximum protection from the thru-way used by patrons and waiters. Always choose for yourself the chair that provides maximum field of view of the restaurant environs. On the Metro, stuff her into the seat closer to the window.

On dates, let her pay for shit once in a while. It doesn’t have to be 50-50 in outlays, (and this is particularly pertinent if she makes a lot less than you), but neither should you box yourself in as a chump provider. When she reaches for her purse, don’t make a big production out of it. “Oh, hey, I got it, I got it, really, unless you want to.” Horrible. Just be cool, stay silent, and act as if her coughing up some of her own dough is nothing out of the ordinary.

Always control the remote, TV, computer, stereo, and circular saw. Let her rest her head on your lap when you watch movies together.

If you often find yourself walking ahead of her when you two are outside at farmers’ markets or the like, resist the urge to constantly look over your shoulder to see where she is. Get comfortable with the idea of being a gravitational force to which she cannot stay away from for long. Think of your cock as a powerful electromagnet and her as iron filings. Don’t be a human GPS unit.

The dog is yours, not hers, even when it’s hers. It’s a pack leader thing she wouldn’t understand. Exception: She has a gay microdog. That’s all hers.

Abuse her cat when she’s not looking. It’s good for reining in the cat’s sense of entitlement, and it’s good for your mood.

Master the art of controlled physical dominance. If she’s in your way, grab her around the waist and gently push her aside.

You ever notice how the assholes and douchebags with the hot chicks always act like they’re unaware of their girls’ presence in public? Like their women are just some tag-alongs they humor once in a while? Yeah, you’ll want to be that asshole.

Stop laughing at her unfunny jokes. She’s knows she’s not funny, and she knows you’re placating her. Beta.

If her sister is ugly, tell your girl that you see some resemblance. If her sister is hot, ask her if she was adopted.

I’ve experimented with many techniques for coaxing girls I date to stay on the slim and narrow. The best one I’ve found so far is to come up behind her while she’s naked in the bathroom, lean against the door jamb, stare at her ass for a bit, don’t smile, hint at a frown, and walk away saying nothing.

If someone asks what your girl does for a living, let her answer. Don’t jump in and answer for her in an attempt to play her up.

The morning after at her place, when you get up, either have a plan of action for the day, or leave. Don’t putter around her place with nothing to do. If it’s TV you want to watch, go veg out at your place away from her. There’s no faster way to kill your air of mystery than to swamp her early in the relationship with the humdrum routine of your daily life.

Try to avoid at all costs the dreaded words “I dunno”. “What are you doing today, honey?” “I dunno.” “What did you do yesterday?” “I dunno. Stuff, I guess.” If you didn’t do something of note, MAKE IT UP. “What did you do yesterday?” “I smoked a hookah with a buddy who banged Chelsea Clinton. She’s a squirter, according to him.”

Don’t be a herb. No, really. Unless you’re a white guy who dates Asian girls exclusively.

RELATIONSHIP GAME WEEK: AGREE AND AMPLIFY

Relationships are merely a continuation of pickup by other means. Just as she must never forget to keep in shape for your pleasure, you must never stop gaming your girl. The day you slip into complacence is the day her love begins to show signs of stress.

Relationships may change but the Game remains the same. There seems to be a mistaken belief among the betacracy that game may be good for pickup but it’ll do nothing at best, and sabotage at worst, your prospects for a long and healthy relationship. These are the beliefs of weak and nutless men who habitually dumpster date women way under their own market value so that they can go on acting like Dr. Phil castrati without consequence. They are also the beliefs of fat and ugly women.

Beta men = fat and ugly women. The resemblance is uncanny!

Naturally, the first few hours, days, and weeks of a courtship will be more exhilarating than the years to follow. After the brash novelty has faded and love begins to take root a mutually comfortable sufficiency will assert itself. An implicit bargain has been struck and there comes an expectation, not wholly removed of anxiety, that your partner isn’t going to bolt, run away, or suddenly despise you from one day to the next. But soft expectations so often morph into hard demands, and then the misalignment with reality begins in earnest.

“If I got fat/beta, would you still love me???”

Eventually, no. As with demographics and economics, there is a lag time in sexual dynamics. This lag time gets longer the more established the relationship becomes. A man who commits one glaring beta act on the approach isn’t going to get more than a few seconds with his target before she blows him out. But a man who has been seeing a girl for two years has to run up a litany of beta fouls before his woman’s love finally dissolves under the onslaught of her mounting disgust. A lower energy, consistent level of relationship game different only in degree, not kind, from pickup game, must be a part of every man’s arsenal of perpetual sexiness.

One thing you will not fail to notice with women is that their shit tests never end, they just fade away… to less annoying frequency. A handy chart demonstrating this female proclivity to endlessly take stock of your alpha cred should make things clear:

The Average Man

# and Intensity of Female Shit Tests

First few minutes

Rapid fire shit tests designed to weed out betas

First few dates

One or two shit tests per date, less crass, more subtle

Post-sex

Possible “I didn’t cum” shit test. Ignore it.

First few weeks

Shit tests become less obnoxious, more defensive;

(“Are you always this late?”)

First few months

Non-verbal shit tests increase in frequency;

she waits for you to call instead of picking up phone herself.

Six months later

Endearing love and romance shit tests
 begin to flare up;

(“You hardly ever give me flowers.” “Do you love me?”)

One year in

Provider shit tests in full swing;

(“Why don’t you buy yourself a bigger place?”

“You never tell me what you do at work.”)

Two years in

“Life purpose”, marriage, and infidelity shit tests;

(“Where are we going with this?” “Bob just popped the question to Sarah. Aren’t you happy for them?”

“Are you cheating on me?”)

Thirty years in

Regret and death shit tests;

(“The kids are gone. I’m not in love anymore.”

“Would you wipe my spotted ass when I’m an invalid?”)

If you aren’t a natural at deflecting shit tests of all varieties, then you must teach yourself. For those men not blessed with the quickness of mind and aloofness of temperament to handle shit tests like a champ, a system must be devised. I’ve found one. I call it the Agree & Amplify anti-shit test counterinsurgency.

The concept is simple. When you are hit with a shit test, agree with your girl, and then amplify your agreement. Here are some examples:

GIRL: “Why didn’t you call last night? Are you dating someone else?”

YOU: “Yep, I’ve got a harem to service. Be happy you’re in the top tier.”

***

GIRL: “Are you just going to sit around all day playing video games?”

YOU: “Damn straight. With enough hard work I should be able to push this to a full month.”

***

GIRL: “We’re going to that restaurant again?”

YOU: “Yeah, and because you’ve bitched, we’re going there for the next ten years.”

***

GIRL: “Sometimes you can be such an asshole. My ex knew how to treat a lady.”

YOU: “I bet he did. You should beg him to take you back. I could use the peace and quiet.”

***

GIRL: “Don’t you have any ambition in life?”

YOU: “Zero. Could you be a dear and hook up my feeding tube?”

***

GIRL: “I didn’t like the way you flirted with that girl at the party tonight.”

YOU: “I know, I’m an incorrigible flirt. Good thing you didn’t see the other ten girls I flirted with. Phew!”

***

GIRL: “You never get me flowers or write me poetry.”

YOU: “You’re right. Just think of my cock as a flower and our fucking as poetry in motion.”

***

GIRL: “I think we should take this slower.”

YOU: “You read my mind! Can I pencil you in next month?”

***

GIRL: [Making it obvious she’s flirting with another guy in your presence.]

YOU: “Hey, if you’re gonna try to make me jealous by flirting in front of me, at least put on a good show. I haven’t seen bad flirting like that since your Mom tried to pick me up.”

***

GIRL: “Buy me a drink.”

YOU: “Sure thing. Would you like my ATM pin number as well?”

***

GIRL: [Calls you back two days after you left her a message.]

YOU: “Only two days later? Wow, you’re slipping. A true player waits a year before calling back.”

***

GIRL: “I really feel we aren’t compatible.”

YOU: “You’re right, we’re *totally* incompatible. I like to wake up at 8:30 and you get up at 8:15. Who can live with that?!”

This last one is especially interesting, because no matter how compatible you are with a girl, she is compelled by an otherworldly force to wonder aloud how incompatible you both are. Expect to receive this shit test around month three. Women have to work through their gina demons, and the issue of “compatibility” is a biggie. For men, if our dicks fit inside her pussy, we’re compatible. For women, a whole host of arcane connections must be made before she can feel you are “the one”. The Agree & Amplify method is the only acceptable response. If you two are incompatible, arguing with her will only highlight that. If you two are compatible, pointing out all the ways you are compatible will only cause her to search more fervently for those few ways you aren’t compatible. Agreeing with her, whether or not she’s right, and making fun of her concerns, is the best way to make her forget all about the issue.

So to all the verbally hamstrung betas, when (not if) you find yourselves confronted by yet another shit test, instead of wracking your brain for the appropriate response just recall the words “Agree & Amplify”. A&A, A&A, A&A. Say it to yourself over and over, and the right answer will come to you.

RELATIONSHIP GAME WEEK: A READER’S JOURNEY

The coda to this week’s relationship game posts is a sampling of comments from reader Dave from Hawaii, a guy who kills wild boar with a knife for fun, wherein he discusses his transformation from nagged beta husband of a contemptuous wife to alpha husband of a loving, grateful, gina tingly wife (same woman!), all by assiduously applying to his marriage the core principles and yes, even the specific tactics, of Game. Read and be inspired. You too can improve your love life, inside and outside of marriage.

I got married young, and simply did not understand anything about game, or the benefits of assertive masculinity. I put my wife on a pedestal and spent 7 years or so of a very contentious, walking on egg-shell type of relationship that teetered towards divorce more than a few times.

I discovered PUA/Game sites like this one a few years ago, and after a bit of reading on shit tests, and the subconscious mating desires of females, I began to “run game” on my wife.

The transformation of our relationship is astounding.

Yes, she put on a good 40 lbs. a couple of years after we got married.

Once I learned to game her subconscious, competitive instincts and began to plant suggestions in her mind that I was desirable to other women…she’s gotten motivated and lost the weight, and her affection towards me reverted back to the way she was before got married.

Once I started recognizing her shit tests and began to not just “pass them” but literally blow them up, the passive-aggressive emotionally driven conflict that had been the hallmark of our relationship has all but disappeared.

We don’t fight anymore.

My wife, who used to grumble and complain and tell all her closest friends and family that we had a “difficult relationship with lots of problems that needs working on” now tells everyone she’s happily married without blinking an eye.

Game… it does a body good!

******

I changed our relationship dynamic after learning about game. I stopped always asking her what she wants and started being decisive while playing up the mysterious angle.

Here was a typical scenario back then:

HER: “I’m hungry.”

ME: “What do you want to eat?”

HER: “I don’t know…”

ME: “How about McDonalds?”

HER: “I dunno.”

ME: “How about Taco bell?”

HER: {shrugs}

ME: “KFC? I know you really like the original recipe chicken dinner…”

HER: “well yeah…”

ME: “OK, great, let’s go!”

Drives to the KFC drive-thru.

ME: I’ll have the Zesty Crispy Chicken Wrap…what do you want, honey?”

HER: “I don’t want to eat here.”

ME: “What? I thought you said…”

HER: “I never said I wanted KFC.”

ME: “But…what do you want then? Whatever you want, just let me know, and we’ll go there!”

HER: “It’s too late, you’ve already ordered here.”

ME: “Fine then. So what do you want?”

HER: “Nothing, just take me home. I’ll figure out what I’m going to eat later. {Said in a grouchy tone}.

ME: “Why do you have to be like that?

HER: “Be like what? I never said I wanted KFC!”

ME: “Well what do you want then?”

HER: “Don’t worry about me already! Just get YOUR food and take me home!”

ME: “I’ve asked you how many times to tell me what you want and I’ll take you there! Why do you always have to act like this?”

HER: “Act like what? Nevermind already! It’s obvious you don’t really care about what I want…it’s only about what you want! I didn’t want KFC and yet you’re trying to make like it’s all my fault just because I don’t want to eat here! I never wanted to eat here in the first place!!!!”

ME: “$*%^(YT@#($)(#&!!!!!”

Same scenario, now:

HER: “I’m hungry”

ME: “So am I. Let’s go.”

HER: “Go where?”

ME: “You’ll see.”

HER: “C’mon, tell me…”

ME {Rolling my eyes and turning away from her, getting ready to head out with or without her.}: “Are you gonna sit here and play twenty questions like a spoiled little princess or are you gonna come along and eat with me?”

HER {Now she starts getting ready to go.}: “C’mon…why don’t you tell me…”

At that point, I could take her to a fine-dining restaurant or McDonalds, it doesn’t matter.

What mattered was that I passed her shit test and played the role of the ‘provider.’

I stopped treating my wife like I was an enslaved sycophant willing to do whatever the goddess desired and started treating her like the kid sister with the backhanded compliments, light-hearted teasing, and over-the-top sarcasm to deal with her shit-tests…all within the “frame” of subconsciously reinforcing the notion that I’m attractive to other women.

For another example, I remember one instance where we went to a dinner party, and there was a, beautiful, blond girl that was a friend of a mutual friend, and it was the first time we met her. Her and I hit it off immediately on a conversational level.

After the dinner, on the ride home she started in…

“So tell me, is _______ better looking than me?”

Now the reality is that why yes, she was…and we both knew it. (Turns out, she was a former swimsuit model…)

I was scared to death to admit this to her. I immediately and reflexively lied to her. She became infuriated.

“Why’d you keep talking to her all night long? Where you attracted to her? Don’t lie, I saw you looking at her while you were talking!”

I uncomfortably whimpered “Well, she was sitting directly across from me all night long…”

Needless to say, the conversation continued to escalate in that vain, with her continually getting angrier and angrier as she played the role of hostile interrogator, and I, the hapless idiot husband, caught doing something wrong…trying to squirm out of the pending punishment.

She “dominated” this conversation from the beginning, she set the frame and I unwittingly relinquished my backbone.

Eventually it turned into a full blown argument as I got angry at her for getting angry, because in reality I had done nothing wrong but have the temerity to have conversation with a beautiful woman at the same dinner table.

Contrast that with how I handle a similar incidents now, after I had figured out the underlying dynamics behind why we would always get into those types of fights and arguments…

(generic paraphrasing of a typical situation}

ME: “Of course she was talking to me! Most beautiful women do! That’s EXACTLY why you married me! What lady can resist these?” (Then I would just flex my biceps and like I’m the world’s baddest man… all with a smirk on my face.)

HER: She rolls her eyes, chuckles and responds, “Yeah right…no woman would want you if you were the last guy on earth.”

ME: “That’s not what your {name of her best friend} said the other night when she was begging me to kiss her…”

HER: {giggling} “You’re so silly…”

In other words, I learned to turn those “shit tests” into playful banter with a subtle frame of reference (treating her like she’s the “younger sister w/ cooties” instead of the goddess who I’d be most fortunate if only she’d let me kiss her feet), rather than address them at face value. In short, learned to “lead the conversation…i. e. “dominate.”

I used to tell her the typical lies of a cowed and fearful married man that is the ubiquitous caricature of men in today’s feminist warped mass media… “No honey, I ONLY have eyes for you! I promise! I don’t even LOOK at other women!”

In retrospect, I can’t believe I spent YEARS protesting innocence and begging her to not get upset, and never realized that taking that tact ALWAYS resulted in bad feelings and “relationship problems.”

At the same time, I reinforce the notion that I’m desirable to other woman (remember – no one wants to go to the club that is empty…everyone wants to get in to the one with the line around the block.)

And I tell you, I really felt silly and ridiculous when I first started acting like that whenever the shit tests came up.

Now, it comes to me like a second reflex.

Most betas, when they first learn game and apply it to their dealings with women, are utterly taken aback by how effective it is. A light goes on, and they feel the spiritual alpha surge of a thousand ancient warriors coursing through their veins and guiding them on the path of righteousness. Swing your two-handed skin sword and drink heartily from the scrotal-shaped chalice, Warrior-Poet! Your dominion over the gina tingle is assured.

******

The more I tried to supplicate [my wife]…to plead with her…to beg her “why do you have to be so angry? Can’t we just get along? Is this really that big of a deal? Look, I’m sorry….”

Oh yes, I was ALWAYS apologizing. Oh, and I usually begged for sex.

I would try to use logic and reason to deal with her emotional state. Never worked. Ever.

In other words, I was letting her emotional state dictate my response. I was trying to appease her mood.

After reading up on game, I gained insight into the basic, biological motivations of females. I quickly realized that I was acting beta, and she was no longer attracted to me…making her angrier and angrier by the day because she couldn’t stand the fact that she was married to and living with a spineless, groveling chump always searching for appeasement and begging for sex. 

Once I was conscious of that dynamic…I became conscientious about how I began acting around her.

For a recent an example of that change of mindset I’m talking about:

Just the other night, I called her to let her know I was coming home so she could time dinner to be ready when I got home.

I was dead tired from my martial arts training that day (I was doing full contact kickboxing training, very rigorous)… and I stopped at my friends house at around 5:00pm to drop something off that I had borrowed from them and have a quick drink before heading home.

After one drink, I lay down on my friend’s couch for a moment…and the next thing I know, it’s 2:30am in the morning.

I drove home, and got into bed. I thought she was asleep…but she promptly said in a real bitchy tone “Where you having fun tonight?!?!”

I simply said “I fell asleep on _____’s couch. I’m tired, good night, dear.”

And promptly rolled over and went to sleep. I don’t even remember what she said to me in response.

The “old” me would have been begging her for forgiveness and apologizing profusely.

She was still upset the next morning…so I let her be upset. She tried to argue with me about it, and I would just shrug, and go start cooking breakfast. She would say something pointed, and I would change the subject.

When she kept pushing me, I just told her straight up – I was dead tired, I lay down for a moment and literally passed out from exhaustion. What is there to apologize for? I’m going to eat breakfast now and enjoy the beautiful morning…care to join me?”

She may have grumbled a bit more, but in the end, we ended up having a nice breakfast, and the topic was dead… other than the occasional, off-hand joke from her about how “You don’t come home anymore,” over the next few days… to which I would either ignore it, change the subject or “agree and amplify” to the point of absurdity.

“Of course dear, don’t you know us pimp daddies have a lot of hoes that take up all our time!”

The old, beta me would have been banished to the couch, subjected to a few days of silent treatment and begging for her forgiveness…only making it worse and worse the more I would grovel and beg.

Whenever there is a marital fight, no man should ever choose to take the couch. That way is the way of the beta. You either sleep in your own goddamned bed and let smoke come out of her ears all night as you snore loudly next to her, or she chooses to take the couch.

******

Yeah, I’m positive you can use “Jerk” game in a LTR – but in my personal case, I use it sparingly.

One time I made her late for a flight to Vegas because we were at a friend’s party. She started SCREAMING at me in the car, because it really was my fault that she missed her flight to go visit her family. She went ballistic. Hysterical. Screaming and crying, because she wasn’t going to get there in time for her Mother’s birthday.

The one and only time I ever screamed back at her. I looked right at her and screamed “SHUT THE FUCK UP! IT’S HAPPENED! YELLING AND SCREAMING IS NOT GOING TO GET YOU ON THAT PLANE! IT’S FUCKING OVER!

That was the one and only time I think I have ever truly scared my wife. She jumped into the back seat of the car when I yelled at her. She told me later that she thought I was going to hit her ’cause I looked so mad. In 12 years, that’s gotta be the only time I ever let my anger out like that. I’m generally very low-key and mellow… I got a long fuse.

It’s very interesting to note after the long, quiet ride home…she actually got turned on by my little show of aggression. heh.

This comment Rihanna-approved.

******

[W]hat you need to focus on, WHATEVER you do, is to maintain frame.

Whether you do nice things for your woman or you act like a jerk, neither will kill her attraction for you in and of itself.

Just make sure that whatever you do, you do not do it in a beta, supplicating manner.

You want to boil down “game” into one phrase, it’s DON’T BE BETA. Don’t put her on the pedestal. Adopt the mentality that you are atop her pedestal, and act accordingly.

Example:

Honey, would you like me to give you a massage? I know you’re sore from your hard day! Let me make you feel better…

That would be a typical offer praised to the high heavens by 99% of all women hearing about such a question. Hearing such a story will elicit “wow, that’s so SWEET! You’re so lucky to have such a great husband!”

But in reality…that’s beta.

It’s begging and pleading to please your wife. In essence, you’re asking her permission to do her a favor.

Half the time, she’ll flat out turn the offer down, even if she DOES want a massage in the worst way… because as sore as her muscles are, embedded deep in her id is the contempt for the very idea of a beta putting his hands on her naked body.

Doing the same thing, but in a non-Beta manner – cocky/arrogant style – “Get over here and take your clothes off, I’m tired of hearing you groan about your sore muscles.”

or going for the subtle expression of having higher social status… “Well than you better thank your lucky stars you married an expert masseuse…”

In either case, you’ve done the “nice husband thing.” But the frame you keep to do the “nice” thing is what is truly going to either maintain her attraction for you or kill it.

Doing something beta during a pickup? You can eject, and start all over again on your next approach.

Acting beta when married? You are starting the long, slow march towards divorce court hell…

Creeping marital betatude isn’t an on/off switch; it’s a viral agent that slowly, but inexorably, sickens your wife until she wants to get as far away from you as possible. Usually into the arms of a man who isn’t infected. And with half your money. So if you’re gonna get married (and don’t say I didn’t warn you), you had better have a handle on women’s psychological natures. And a good pre-nup.

******

I had no clue how badly I was failing shit tests, and why I was always getting into passive-aggressive conflicts. I thought shit tests were logical inquiries based on linear thinking.

Upon reading the Agree & Amplify approach to shit tests, now-defunct PUA blog “The Reality Method,” I thought long and hard about how many times I had encountered such tests and failed them miserably.

The first time I tried A&A, when she asked me if I had a mistress, and I answered that no, I had 4 of them, and I was getting worn out trying to keep them all plus herself satisfied. I was holding my breath trying to see what her reaction would be…. She giggled and said “you’re so delusional!” To which I than A&A again…” Damn straight, how else do you think I’ve stayed married to you all these years?” The conversation turned into playful teasing, ending with me spanking her ass and starting to playfully roughhouse.

Inside, I felt like I had just discovered the holy grail. I spent YEARS in the “What do you mean you think I have a mistress? Why would you think that? You know you’re the only women for me!”

The next time I got another shit test from her, I was more than ready for it:

“Do I look fat in this dress?”

The shit test is really in effect, beta entrapment.

The absurdity of the shit test is that women aren’t consciously aware they are doing them. Which makes them all the more dangerous.

******

– When women get together, especially in mixed company, they will often speak of their men as if they were little children. Sometimes our friends will say things to my wife like “he better behave or you’re gonna ground him!” or “he better watch out or he’s gonna get in trouble with you” or some sort variation of this theme that assumes she’s the authority and you answer to her.

Whenever I encounter that, I never let that commentary stand unchallenged. I respond, in a cocky/funny manner – ‘yeah right, she better watch out or I’LL be the one doing the grounding!” To which my wife will usually sass back, to which I’ll than turn it into a bit of sexual innuendo – “…not only will I ground you, I’ll give you the spanking you deserve…and we know what happens when I spank you…”Re-framing the conversation to hint at sexual intimacy quickly changes the tone of the conversation and the theme of relational authority gets forgotten by the other women pretty quickly. They typically respond to that sort of thing with “Ew…that’s TMI! Keep that stuff to yourselves!” or “Get a room you two!” Than everyone will laugh, and you can then change the subject to one of your choosing.

One of the biggest sources of discontent in a LTR can and will come from the influence of your woman’s peers. You have to learn how to display your dominance not just to her, but in front of her peers as well. This sort of behavior actually sparks her attraction.

– Use PDA very sparingly. I never kiss my woman in front of people, and I rarely hold her hand or cuddle or snuggle or any of that other intimacy behaviors in front of other people… even good friends we are absolutely comfortable with. When you do something, like grabbing her and making her sit on your lap when you’re at a party, she will really appreciate your gesture of affection and amp her attraction for you…but only if you rarely give her the gift of PDA. I just did that the other night at a party. When I drew her to my lap, she gave me those eyes…the same eyes she gave me when we first started dating 14 years ago. My public display of affection that night turned into a very private display by her later on that night…

Same goes for things like flowers, candy and other so-called “romantic” little gifts that often are what society says are the correct ways for men to show their women they love them. While in the new, courting phase, it won’t backfire on you if you give them frequently…constantly buying her flowers, teddy bears, candy etc. will lose its value for inspiring her attraction once you are in a LTR.

– The most important LTR advice I think I can add, is this: if and when you know you did wrong, that she does in fact deserve an apology, you MUST learn to apologize with sincerity without projecting the attitude that you are sorry.

That may sound confusing at first, but what I mean is that while you are apologizing for something, you MUST maintain a state of social dominance. You do not beg or plead for forgiveness. You do not apologize more than once… ever. If you do apologize, you say it once, with a full detailed explanation of why you know you did wrong, that you understand why your behavior/actions upset her, than you say your apology, and then THAT IS IT. Do NOT try and “make it up” in explicit terms. Do not bow down to her demands. If she says “you better get me some flowers for this one,” that’s the one sure guarantee that you are NOT going to give her flowers. 

Don’t even ask for forgiveness. Act as if your apology is all there is to say about it, you can forgive me or not.

That last point was the hardest one for me to learn at first. I cannot tell you how different it is now when we have a fight, and I consciously maintain the frame of not becoming a supplicant begging for her forgiveness.

Our arguments can be white hot and aggressive, but if I maintain my dominant mentality, these conflicts end quickly and almost always result in the best kind of LTR sex… “makeup” sex.

I used to think that hot makeup sex was a myth. [Editor: I think it’s more accurate to call it “after-fight sex” since it’s the fighting, not the making up, that coaxes gina tingles.] Now I know the truth – makeup sex only happens if your wife respects you, and lusts you for your dominance. Even if you’re wrong, and you apologized and admitted you were wrong…if you do it right and maintain your dominant status, her anger will eventually fade, but her attraction will increase. Think of fighting and arguing with your woman as the ultimate LTR shit test.

If you are begging, simpering, cowed beta that always begs for forgiveness and pleads with her to not get mad at you or to just “forget it,” the tension will eventually blow over…but her subconscious satisfaction with your beta demeanor will kill any chance of that hot makeup sex, and start to build up in her and affect all other areas of your relationship.

When in doubt, better to err on the side of too much asshole than too little asshole. Or: If you can’t learn the art of apologizing like an alpha, resort to Plan B: Deny, deny, deny. And then accuse her of being a distrustful bitch.

******

When I first started changing my behavior, I had to consciously think of everything I said and did. It was difficult at first.

But the more you consciously do these things, and the more you see how it works positively in your relationship, the easier it gets.

When I first began “gaming” her, I was still afraid of her emotional state…I found game a means of not bringing out her anger or disappointment.

Now, however, I’ve truly developed the mindset of having NO fear of my woman’s emotional state.

While I don’t disagree at all with Epoxytocin’s statement:

“If you handle it correctly, it shouldn’t “start an argument”.

My addendum to that is….

So what if it does start an argument? Are you afraid to argue with her? Why are you afraid of her emotional state?

Once I realized this mindset, and internalized it, everything started to become second nature.

As a beta-ized husband, I lived in constant fear of upsetting her…fear of her disapproval…fear of her tears. I used to think of lies to tell her about things that were not even wrong, just to try and avoid making her mad with me.

This was when we were at our worst.

At the beach, back in the “beta” days:

HER: “I see you looking at that chic in the G-string!”

ME: “I was not! Honestly honey, I only have eyes for you!”

We both know I was lying…and she would get upset, and not speak to me and we’d end up getting into an argument that ruined the entire day. Ironic isn’t it… by lying to her to try and avoid conflict, I actually made it much worse.

Now?

HER: “I see you looking at her!”

ME: “She’s hot, isn’t she?”

Well played, Dave from Hawaii, well played.

RELATIONSHIP GAME: TENDER LOVEMAKING EDITION

I’ve been getting a lot of emails recently from readers who want to know how to square game with relationships. As has been discussed here before, game never ends. It is refined to suit the circumstances. In the beginning stages, your game portfolio is heavy on attraction and excitement stocks. Later, it diversifies into comfort and security holdings. But the fundamentals don’t change. You should be aware that after a woman has fallen in love she will begin to test your devotion to her as well as your alpha grace under pressure. So you see, the shit tests never die, they just reincarnate to annoy you unto your last breath. Fuck, my 87 year old grandmother gave me a shit test when I visited her at the home. “Grandson! You’re late! Do you think I can wait for you forever like one of your floozies?! Clock’s ticking!” I barely passed.

Here are some examples of what I’m talking about pulled from my own life:

Going to parties

When you’re in a relationship, you’ll be going to lots of house parties with your girl. This is because most likely she will have more “friends” than you, as it is a weakness of the female gender that they cannot survive long without oxygen or petty gossip. When you show up at the party, don’t hang onto your GF’s side waiting for her to introduce you to her judgmental friends. Walk in the door first, stay with her for about five seconds while she gets her bearings, smirk like the sadistic alpha warlord you are, then make a beeline for the liquor in the kitchen and get both of you a stiff drink. On the way, chat up people you know peripherally or don’t know at all. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you ever wait for your GF’s nudging or prompting to talk to her friends. The alpha way is the proactive way. She will be impressed as she admiringly watches you work the room like Jerry Maguire. And for fuck’s sake, don’t fret about leaving her alone for twenty minutes. Give her room to brag — or joke — about you. House parties with peers are one of the few acceptable gatherings where she will like being separated from you to talk amongst her yentas. This probably has something to do with the erotic charge of seeing her lover engaged with other women, yet still close enough to carefully observe in case you get a little too flirty with her mortal enemies friends.

Tip: When your GF introduces you to someone, don’t look at her first like a puppy waiting to be petted. Keep your eyes focused on the friend and shake hands.

Tip #2: Women are natural self-deprecators. When you and her are in a conversation with a small group mention your GF’s job or accomplishments. She will invariably humble herself. This is a great time to mildly rebuke her modesty and then praise her good work or taste. In the interest of social niceties, she will transparently balk at your praise, but inside she will love you for it. Mentally prepare for volcanic sex later that night.

Visiting your family

I had been dating this stunning girl for a year when I decided to bring her to a Christmas family dinner with aunts, uncles and cousins. She was the introverted type and did not do well in large groups of people she hardly knew. She also didn’t drink, so I knew that option was right out. Family gatherings are completely different than house parties. I would need to ease her into the scene. She was nervous and self-conscious. I stayed by her side for a long time, and gently pulled her by the upper arm when I wanted to talk to someone else. She followed without hesitation, and after a half hour of me chaperoning her I could tell she was visibly loosening up. By the end of the evening, she was comfortable enough to talk with my bombastically charming rich alcoholic uncle one on one.

Tip: When a family member asks what your GF does for a living, don’t answer for her. Let her do the talking.

Tip #2: Sit next to your GF at the dinner table. Pour her wine. Put your hand on her leg under the table and rub the back of her knee. Mentally prepare for cataclysmic sex later that night.

Making Plans

I was dating a girl for a few months. I made plans with her to go to the beach. She packed her beach stuff in the trunk of my car, sat next to me with a big smile on her face, and I started driving… somewhere else. It wasn’t until a half hour into the trip that she noticed I was driving the opposite direction. “Are you taking a short cut? The beach is the other way!” “Maybe. Boy, you are too quick for me.”I teased her like this for a while before I surprised her with my new plans. We were going to a quaint bed and breakfast in the mountains, complete with jacuzzis, horseback riding and candlelit dinners overlooking the valley river. She squealed with delight. After her astonishment wore off, she began to complain that she had only packed beach stuff. I told her not to worry. I had packed an alternate suitcase full of more appropriate clothes for her.
Tip: Make plans, change them, surprise her. Just be sure to cover all your bases. Chicks cream their panties when you remember the little things, like bringing along her favorite wine or knowing what types of vacations she really loves. They really love it when you’re unpredictable without being sloppy with the details.

Tip #2: If she’s uptight about this sort of thing, tease her mercilessly for being anal retentive. Then sweetly assure her that you took care of all the contingencies. Mentally prepare for event horizon sex later that night.

A few other pointers:

Frequently pat her ass.

Compliment her beauty sparingly.

Draw a picture of her in crayon.

Play “butt spatula” in the kitchen.

Tell her mom she’s a MILF.

Curse her in a foreign tongue.

Compare her to a chihuahua.

Call her Paris Hilton.

Leave handcuffs in full view.

Drip hot wax on her nipples.

Buy a handgun and let her caress the barrel.

Reenact rape scenes from movies.

Be impervious to her taunts.

Act cagey.

Hide your money.

Buy her gifts when they’re not expected.

Don’t buy her gifts when they are.

Avoid PDA one day and finger her in public the next.

Bang her within a stone’s throw of:

a church.

a Dunkin Donuts.

a public restroom.

a school playground.

an outdoor wedding.

a caged zoo animal.

Scare her till she pees herself.

Hide sexy post-it notes in her panties.

Get used to saying the words “Enough”, “Shut up”, and “Turn over.”

Look fantastic in a suit.

Look fantastic in casual wear.

Look fantastic in anything.

Sound good.

Smell good.

Kiss good.

Strut around with supreme confidence.

Be uncannily successful at your job.

Blow people away anytime you say anything.

Take six-hour lunches.

Disappear for weeks at a time.

Lie to everyone about everything.

And drink and smoke constantly.

Basically, be Don Draper.

RELATIONSHIP GAME: I LOVE YOU TOO

I get a lot of emails from readers wondering how to “handle” when a woman says she loves you. The question is odd to me, because a woman who is truly in love with you will not suddenly run away if you deviate from the alpha script for half a second. Once you’ve captured a woman’s heart, you’ve got a healthy margin for error. Nonetheless, it is true that, while brief moments of temporary beta regression with a woman who loves you won’t doom your relationship, you have to be careful to avoid slipping into betadom on the regular or there *will* come a time when your woman suddenly loses that little electric zap in her trap for you.

A few thoughts on the matter of a woman saying “I love you”:

NEVER be the first to say “I love you” in a relationship. I don’t care if six months of dating has gone by and you both madly love each other to pieces, you will rob a woman of one of her greatest joys in her life if you tell her you love her before she has told you the same. A woman wants to climb up mountains, crawl across broken glass, and struggle into winds of chaos to reach the emotional peak of falling in love with you. You may think you’re doing right by her to level the mountain, sweep clean the glass, and calm the winds when you announce your love before she has, but you’re not. She will resent you if you do. Of course, she won’t tell you this. But I will.

You don’t have to be cocky all the time. There is a laundry list of great alpha replies to a woman after she says “I love you”: “Cool!”, “I know”, “Thanks!”, “Hey, it’s me!”, *sly grin* “I didn’t ask”, “Naturally”, “So you’ve finally come to terms with it”, “Well, what did you expect?”, “Damn, I’m good”, “Oh boy, now you’ve gone and done it”, “Awesome! Free back rubs!”, “Hobag say dick in yomouf?”, etc. etc. Use these liberally in the beginning of a relationship when they have the most power to set the right tempo. But learn to rely less on them as the relationship deepens. Overuse of cocky game can deaden its positive impact on a woman’s psyche. She will come to see you as a genuine asshole instead of an attractive asshole. After a few months training your girlfriend, you can minimize your cocky game in favor of sincere game.

Sincere game is long haul game. So what do you say to a woman when she says I love you and you want to be serious with her? In my experience, there are three failsafe ways to respond that will send her heart into an ecstatic tailspin for you: (1) Pause for a couple seconds after she has said it, and while gazing intently into her eyes, in a deep, slow voice, say “I love you, too”. Best done without smiling. (2) Say nothing in reply. Instead come close to her face, pause for a few seconds standing before her as if you are about to say something, and slowly pull her lips into yours, kissing her breathless. (3) Tell her I love you too in a foreign language, preferably French, or one of the less well known but still intriguing languages, like Russian.

You should be aware of the possibility that your woman will use I love you like a weapon of war. Sometimes, the more neurotic of the female species will incessantly proclaim their love for you in an attempt to smoke out any beta wishy-washiness or weakness on your part. If you fall into her manufactured drama, pity-poor-me, low self-esteem trap with an endless stream of I love you too’s you will have sealed your fate. Don’t be surprised if the next time you say I love you too she replies “Umm, listen, we need to talk.” The best way to handle a neurotic waif is to ignore 90% of what she says. Just keep replying “That’s great” every time she lavishes attention and love on you. Eventually, even the most dedicated waifs will break. They all have their breaking point. Once she does, you have a love slave for life.

Final note: Don’t be one of those laughable nancyboy beta schmucks who feels the urge to perfunctorily say “Luvya” every fucking time you get off the phone with your girl. It’s pathetically transparent. If the rest of the world can see that, so can your girlfriend. It’s the phone; say your business and save your Luvya’s for those times when they matter. Asking her if she wanted the green or red bell peppers while browsing the veggies in Whole Foods is not one of those times. You’ll feel awkward at first when you stop signing off this way, but believe me your girl will thank you for your principled sincerity.

RELATIONSHIP GAME THOUGHTS

If your girlfriend is complaining about your selfishness, you’re doing it right.

Your gift to her is that you don’t go around sleeping with other women.

Meaningless acts of romance are far more meaningful to girls than meaningful acts of romance.

Similarly, spontaneous expressions of romance will linger in a girl’s memory far longer than elaborately planned romantic gestures.

‘Romantic gestures’ is redundant. *Any* gesture done for a girl who already likes you is romantic.

Role-playing is worth ten diamond tennis bracelets in a girl’s captured imagination.

A girl’s urge to pressure you to marry is inversely correlated to her depth of love for you.

Corollary: a marriage ultimatum means she is on the cusp of falling out of love with you.

Love is as corrupted as any other barter in the mating market, but its great advantage is that it never feels that way.

Marriage counselors could save more marriages simply by uttering these two words: tease her.

The alpha male way to apologize for a minor offense is a shoulder rub. The alpha male way to apologize for a grave offense is cunnilingus.

All regrets and apologies should be expressed long enough after the offense was committed that a direct connection between offense and contrition is plausibly deniable. This is known as the Betafication Avoidance Buffer.

A strong relationship is defined as one in which your girlfriend’s friends all want to sleep with you.

Once a girl falls in love with you, she will stop taking the counsel of her friends’ opinions regarding your compatibility with her.

Corollary: You are then free to piss off her friends as much as you want.

Love is margin for error.

Love like an idealist, think like a cynic.

Relationships are more erector set than blank white canvas.

But when the time comes to paint, paint with the entire palette.

If she wants to see you one more day per week than you want to see her, you’re doing it right.

Texting is a great way to get out of hour-long nightly phone conversations, while at the same time keeping the embers of infatuation burning.

If she plans three dates for every two of yours, you’re doing it right.

A girl in love is one who withers as much from withheld compliments as from supplied criticism.

Give her an email address that you rarely access. There are many ways to stoke the female yearning for an elusive man.

Her infidelity is an automatic relationship or marriage terminator, except under one circumstance: she was cheating with your other girlfriend.

If she sneaks away to reapply her lipstick after every make-out, she is afraid she’ll stop pleasing you. Or she’s a street walker.

A bay window, a cool summer’s night breeze, and ambient light backgrounding fettuccine alfredo and pinot noir is the female equivalent of receiving the perfect hummer.

The neg never dies. It just fades away.

If she assumes the doggie position unprompted, you’re doing it right.

If she gives you mouth love without you having to ask for it, you’re doing it more right than you can fathom.

“You make me feel happy” is the pre-cum of a girl’s oxytocin-greased mental ejaculation. Her orgasmic “I love you” is less than one month away.

A good relationship is one in which you joke that you are her king, and there is an undercurrent of wishful seriousness in her playful response.

If you tell her you feel a little under the weather, and she comes over to your place with OJ, herbal tea, soup, and cough medicine, you’re doing it right.

Don’t rush the naturally emerging stages of the relationship. Men who rush things are insecure about their staying power. Men who have options are comfortable taking their time getting entangled with a girl. Most hot young girls prefer the latter; cougars, fatties, and single moms prefer the former.

If you are significantly higher value than the girl you are dating, don’t underestimate the degree to which she can become obsessed with you. An available alpha male giving signals of commitment is like finding a giant diamond lying on the ground in a state park; it just doesn’t happen for most girls.

When she starts inviting you on her vacations and business trips, she loves being with you. When she pays your way, she hates being without you.

Better she is an infatuated lover than a loving dilettante.

If you haven’t had an argument within the first two months, you’ve passed an important test. If you haven’t had an argument within the first year, you’ve failed an important test.

Girls take seriously their pets’ opinions of you. One purring cat can shave off seven hours of courtship.

Beware girls who always want to go to “events” or “do interesting things” with you. They fear the connection will break without the scaffolding of a contrived shared experience. If she’s happy sitting on a park bench with you people watching she’s a keeper.

Joyfully fornicate with girls who are always drunk when they’re with you. But don’t date them.

If a girl loves you, all problematic matters that would have presented an obstacle to the initial seduction become irrelevant or are actually turned in your favor.

After one month together, you will be astonished at how often and how vigorously a girl in love will qualify herself to you without you even trying to instigate it. Don’t interrupt her when she’s doing this.

It is a girl’s natural state of mind to question your worth when she is not in love. In contrast, it is her natural state of mind to question her own worth when she is in love.

When a girl is down on herself, do not try to lift her up. It is enough that you are there listening to her.

Saying less is always preferable to saying more. She will be inclined to imbue your silence with positive connotations, and your loquacity with suspicion.

Girls will sometimes preemptively break up with you if they suspect you are too much alpha for them. In these cases, the impending breakup is best averted by nuzzling your head in her boobage for ten minutes. Your body language should mimic a cat’s.

Occasional displays of testosterone (ODTs) are more effective, require less effort, and are more fun than “talking it out” when the relationship is rocky. Curse profligately, punch a wall, slam a door, grab a wrist, break a lamp, menacingly wield a heavy object, and disappear for days at a time — then sit back as she swoons and resubmits to your authority.

Preternaturally serene mindfucking is the ultimate ODT, but should not be attempted by men low in intelligence or feeble of will. Do not mindfuck girls who are less than an 8; you could destroy them for any future beta desperate to settle down with a has-been and populate the country with future generations of danegeld-paying cogs.

You know that song “Love is Like Oxygen”? There’s no such thing as too high.

You could spend $100,000 on a lavish wedding, but the thing she’ll most fondly remember is that erotic note you hastily scrawled on a cocktail napkin and passed to her under the table. Think about it.

A FAILSAFE WAY TO GET HAND

I’ve written before about the utmost importance of getting the upper hand with a woman, whether in a relationship or out of it. The partner with hand is the partner who governs the direction of the relationship. Would you rather be the ruler or the ruled? And don’t bother clinging like a baby chimp to comforting but nebulous concepts like “relationship exactness and complementarity” that are dear to the equalist nancyboy brigade. There is no such thing as even hand in relationships. Sexual equilibrium is an unstable state that lures women to push the relationship into chaos. This helps explain why 70-80% of divorces are initiated by the wives.

Let’s say you’ve gamed a girl who is conventionally out of your league straight into bed. Your game established your power over her and your sexual prowess helped buttress her initial positive impression of you. But now, there you are, lying in bed in sweaty post-coital bliss, and you look over at a ravishingly beautiful girl you know has nearly limitless options in the sexual market, and who might even be banging another man and is just using you to tickle a tingle, and you wonder to yourself “What can I do RIGHT NOW to guarantee hand over this woman?”

Well, here’s a little something I learned in grade school.

After sex, most likely she will want to cuddle (DC lawyer chicks and MBA grads excluded). When she is rolling over to you for that expected warm embrace, you gently stop her and move her arms back over to her side of the bed. Then you say:

“Could you sleep on your side of the bed tonight? I don’t have those feelings right now.”

Pause for effect. If her lip quivers, but she makes no sound, you struck gold.

Now, soften the blow.

“Don’t take it personally. I just met you and I usually don’t warm up to someone right away. It takes time. You understand.”

For further softening, you may want to yawn heavily, smile, and add: “Plus, I need space when I sleep.”

The above is guaranteed to give you the upper hand with your amour for at least six months, or your money back. You will now be free to fart loudly in her company and eat hoagies while she blows you without repercussion.

WARNING!

This is the hydrogen bomb of hand maneuvers. Use sparingly, and only use on women who are above your league. If you drop this ego-blasting, pussy-busting, heart-palpitating bomb on a girl who already cherishes you and looks up to you in wide-eyed awe, you risk having her burst into tears. Have you ever tried to maintain an alpha frame with a girl who is wracked in heaving sobs? Lemme tell ya, it ain’t easy.

KEEPING YOUR WOMAN IN LINE

Back in the day I lived in a group house with three other guys. It was a great time. As men, we really sharpened our joshing in this environment. I mastered the art of the cutting retort.

One of the guys, a physically imposing 6’7″ laid back dude, had a hot girlfriend – let’s call her Kay – with a great personality. She was every guy’s dream girlfriend. One night, all of us were sitting around in the living room splayed across dirty couches watching TV when Kay started gossiping about inconsequential private matters involving her boyfriend and his family. She meant no harm by it, and we weren’t really paying attention, but he obviously didn’t like the idea of her revealing personal details from his life. Out of the blue, he thundered

“SHUT THE FUCK UP KAY!!”

The room fell silent. Kay blushed a bright crimson and sat immobile, looking at him submissively from under her lowered eyes. She didn’t protest or attempt to defend herself. I think all she said was “OK alright” in a mousy half-exasperated, half-apologetic voice. After what seemed like hours but was only 30 seconds, one of us broke the tension by changing the subject to something stupid on TV.

Later that night, I was awoken by a steady thumping noise coming through the walls. It was loud enough to rouse me to investigate. I walked closer to the source of the thump on the other side of the house (this was a very large house) which was reverberating from one of the bedrooms. It sounded like a heavy appliance being dropped. As I neared the bedroom door I heard the unmistakable grunts, moaning, and shrieks of delight of lovemaking. Mr. Shut The Fuck Up was fucking his girlfriend so hard that the bed frame was lifting off the floor. His thrusting tempo was precise — you could have practiced piano to the metronomic beat of the thumping.

There are a few impressionable moments in a young man’s life that opens his eyes to the true nature of women. This was one of them.

***

Proposition: I challenge my male readers — particularly my beta readers — who have girlfriends to an asshole experiment. When your GF makes you genuinely angry I want you to yell at her “SHUT THE FUCK UP”. Credibility will be added if you do it in public. This will be tough for you to do, but my presence will be with you, like the unholy spirit. Visualize your balls physically growing larger when she says something that pisses you off.

Email me the results of this experiment, good or bad. What did she say/do? Did you back down or stand by your words? Did you break up or did you have the best sex of your lives afterward? For those of you who have already yelled like this to your girlfriends, your memory of the event will be accepted for consideration. After I have received a number of responses, I will put up a post in the future quoting each contributing reader’s experience. You will be credited for your bravery in the pursuit of truth and understanding.

I believe some of you will become intoxicated by the power of asshole.

PS: They got happily married.

TOP TWO RULES FOR DATING YOUNGER WOMEN

The two critical rules for older guys dating girls under 25:

Rule #1: Don’t be needy

You should never be needy with any woman (exceptions made if she’s an over 30 divorcee with two kids and a Snickers bar figure) but it is especially important to refrain from showing even the slightest displays of neediness with the under 25 girls. A young woman is extra-sensitive to the subtle signals that a man gives off when he is a little too happy to be with her. If the guy she likes is significantly older, like ten years or more, she’ll be that much more on guard for beta behavior. An older guy who is needy is a bigger loser than a younger guy who is needy, because the younger guy at least has the excuse of inexperience. Plus, the older guy has to learn how to handle the elevated risk of being labeled a “leech” or “pervy”.

Examples:

Texting

29 year old texts you. Wait 5 minutes before replying.

22 year old texts you. Wait 1 hour before replying, unless it’s a weekend night in which case don’t text back until the next day.

Calling

29 year old calls. Pick up on the third ring.

22 year old calls. Let it go to voicemail and return call minimum of 2 hours later.

Going to a bar together

Chat up one other girl in 29 year old’s presence. Any more than that and you will make her too insecure.

Leave 22 year old for 30 minute stretches of time to flirt with girls in different parts of the bar. If she sees three or more girls laughing along with you, bonus points. You are guaranteed sex that night.

Shit testing

If 29 year old tells you some random guy flirted with her today, show a hint of jealousy.

If 22 year old tells you some random guy flirted with her today, say you hoped she number closed him because she needs a shopping boyfriend.

Post-coital challenge

29 year old gazes at you lovingly and says “I think I’m falling for you.” You say “Me too.”

22 year old gazes at you lovingly and says “I think I’m falling for you.” You say “Thanks! Keep it coming. I’m a sucker for flattery.”

Communication breakdown

29 year old mysteriously stops contacting you. Wait four days before sending casual text asking her out on another date.

22 year old mysteriously stops contacting you. Do not attempt to contact her again. In two months you have a 50% chance of getting a text from her wanting to see you.

Rule #2: Don’t be insecure

Many older guys who like dating younger girls fall into the trap of fretting about the age difference. He makes the mistake of bringing the issue up before she has, or cracking awkward jokes about her youth. His age insecurity will lead him to lean on his money or job status as attraction ploys because he won’t believe that a cute younger girl could love him for his personality or strength of character.

The truth is that, contrary to the sugar daddy cultural message, money and a high status job are not required to attract younger women. They help, but what helps a lot more is tight game and a dominant, charming personality. If you are unfazed by the age difference, she will be too. Run the same game at 35, 45, and 55 that you would at 25.

Bear in mind that younger women (barring a few notable golddigger exceptions) are not as practical as older women. They are more whimsical, flirty, passionate, and romantic, and this means you will get more mileage having a youthful outlook, being recklessly spontaneous, maintaining a high level of energy, and focusing on the emotional connections, than you would tempting them with the allure of financial stability and security.

If you follow my advice above, you will have no trouble finding a girl much younger than you to fall in love with you.

HIGH ENERGY DATES

There are two different dating strategies to follow depending on your relationship goals.

Short term fling

Don’t bother putting much imaginative effort into your dates. When you are doubtful of the girl you are dating as relationship material you’re better off minimizing your courtship investment. A “girl you date” as opposed to a “girl you see” won’t need the kind of strong emotional foundation that a more serious prospect would require. Stick to bars and lounges and idle chit chat over middle shelf cocktails. A girl can be massaged from “hello” to “fuck me harder!” without all the rigamarole of complicated dates meant to impress. Basic game will get you there so skip the fancy embroidery and concentrate on the fundamentals.

Long term girlfriend

If you feel extra special about the girl you’re dating and can envision spending time with her in addition to sex and dates that are mere props for sex then you will need to build a reinforced emotional structure. Short term flings are great but if you like the girl a lot you have to deal with the uncertainty of her pulling a 180 on you during the first couple months of dating. Potential heartbreak and wasted investment can be avoided by building a stronger bond earlier in the dating cycle. The way to do this is to get creative with your date ideas and really show her an interesting time. Take her to exciting places or events. Go on a hike. See a band. Do something out of the ordinary like indoor rock climbing or horseback riding. The more action-oriented and energetic your dates, the more things you will have to talk about on each successive date. The unpredictable stimulus of these kinds of dates serves to bond her more closely to you. As a result of sharing so many high octane experiences over the course of a few dates, a similar psychological phenomenon to time compression imbues her with the feeling that she has shared so much more with you than she actually has. The intense buildup of experiences gives you something to talk about besides situational observations and astrology. This is the way to win yourself solid girlfriends.

For example, here is a date progression I followed for a girl I liked as more than a notch:

1st date: Drinks at a Latin lounge/Salsa class ==> 2nd Date: Hilarious but disturbing show at indie club ==> 3rd Date: Chill drinks at my place and heavy makeout ==> 4th Date: Go-Kart racing at an indoor track ==> 5th Date: Sex ==> 6th Date: Hike in the woods.

This sequence gave us a head of steam that sustained an ultimately doomed relationship for months longer than it would have otherwise lasted. I’m certain my creativity over those first crucial dates left her with powerful memories that she uses to endure sex with whatever guy she is currently dating.

WHAT TO DO WHEN A GIRL STARTS CRYING FOR NO REASON

When you date a girl for longer than two months the odds become better than even that she will erupt into spontaneous waterworks for no discernible reason. All girls do this, even the stable normal ones. In fact, you should be concerned that you are dating a stone hearted bitch if she doesn’t inexplicably cry on occasion. If women crying makes you break out into sweaty hives you should probably limit yourself to dating lawyers. They never cry; they just subsume their womanly instincts into raging competitiveness and piston-like screwing. Thankfully for the state of femininity, their breed is dying out.

The last time I was confronted with a woman’s tears I had just finished banging her in a satisfying position — doggy. (The most spiritually nourishing sex positions are those which are closest to the primitive positions practiced by the animal kingdom.) She hopped off the bed, went to the bathroom, exited the bathroom 20 seconds later, and then stood in the middle of the room, wrapped in a bath towel, as tears started to fall.

Most betas when confronted with such a spectacle will turn the finger of blame inward and wonder if it was something they did. A beta will tenderly, cautiously, approach the girl and touch her shoulder while asking if anything is wrong, did he do something that bothered her? Naturally, as my readers are well aware by now, this will paradoxically fill her with resentment for the beta. Even though his dick was only moments earlier inside her womb, she will become agitated by his presence for reasons even she can’t fathom, and her disgust will grow as she pushes his arm off and insists that nothing is wrong.

The experienced man, on the other hand, has seen all this before. Through trial and error, or through honed intuition, he has learned how to deal with these emotional pressure releases that plague women. He knows that sometimes a powerful revering will rattle a woman’s soul so deeply that tears are shaken loose. He will let the sob show play itself out, knowing that she will come through it on the other side a happier woman.

When she began crying, vulnerable in the middle of the room clutching her bath towel, I looked at her intently for a few seconds, walked up, gave her a strong hug and a cheek kiss, wiped one tear with my thumb, and then let go to pour a couple of drinks for the both of us. I didn’t ask what was wrong, I didn’t ask if there was something I could do, I didn’t ask how I could make it better. I didn’t even ask if she wanted a drink. I just put the drink in her hand. Everything was done in silence. I grabbed a magazine and read it on her couch while she took a shower.

She was emotionally cold for about a half hour after that, then as we were lying in bed later falling asleep, she rolled over and nuzzled her head in the nook where my arm meets my chest. She was smiling.

Here are the rules for dealing with a spontaneously crying woman:

Don’t worry about why she is crying. It doesn’t matter if it was something you did, or if it had nothing to do with you, your reaction should be the same either way.

That reaction is warm, nonverbal reassurance. Don’t say a word. Odds are you will say something to worsen her erratic emotional state.

If you suspect that the cause of her tears is something you did, you should let her express those reasons on her own time. Don’t try and pry the reason from her.

Give her a glass of water or wine while she is crying. If she refuses the drink, don’t loiter questioningly. Simply put her drink down on the counter and go about enjoying your drink.

For the love of god, DON’T PLEAD WITH HER TO COMMUNICATE HER FEELINGS. This goes against everything that every women’s mag and self-help relationship book says, but the truth is that there’s nothing a woman despises more than a mealy-mouthed sensitive beta playing new age psychotherapist.

I have found that after a good cry a woman will often feel closer to you than ever. She will give her sex lovingly soon after her tears have dried. For this reason I recommend provoking your girl to cry as it will open up new and exciting possibilities in bed. You’ll want to incite her tears in such a way, of course, that you maintain plausible deniability. One way to do this is to get out of bed after sex to watch some porn on the computer.

THE HAZARDS OF LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIPS

It’s no hard sell to convince most people of the benefits of long term relationships. The intimacy, the shared experiences, the knowing winks and nods in crowded rooms, the quasi-telepathic unspoken understanding, and the cosmically unfathomable depth of love that seems to stop time — there is no better feeling in the world than sex with a woman you love who loves you back with equal fervor. The moment you slip into your lover and simultaneously lock eyes with her is an unparalleled intensity of pleasure that no one night stand, fling or fuck buddy, however passionate, can match.

But it is not an unalloyed good. With the tremendous good comes the risk of treacherous bad, always conniving and usurping to corrode your love and the presumed impregnable strength of your relationship. You must be on guard against these foul subverters at all times if you want to avoid the saddest fate of avoidable heartbreak.

LTRs will make you and her fat and lazy.

The same feeling of comfort and contentment that long term relationships gives to lovers mischievously robs them of the things that helped bring them together in the first place. Satisfaction quickly morphs into self-satisfaction, and the double-edged sword of comfortable monogamy turns its poison-dipped blade on its wielders. Food becomes central to your shared life, sustenance for the heart as well as the body. The powerfully endorphic love you share blinds both of you to encroaching dilapidation — a few pounds here, an aloof demurral to exercise there, an apathetic dismissal of a suggestion for a night on the town — and pretty soon she’s getting fat and sloppy and you’re getting boring. Your dick shrivels, her pussy desiccates. Soon, even the love follows the same tragic descent.

Prevention is simple, if laborious. Mentally frame any relationship as a continual process of falling in love, and every night together as a first date. This will, of course, be easier to do if you have inspiration. Such inspiration comes primarily in the form of your girl keeping herself as hot as she was when she passively wooed you that night you approached her. A woman, as the sex naturally inclined to embracing the herd mentality, will quickly fall in line with a stringent exercise and eating program if you make yourself an example to her. You do this not only by flaunting your self-discipline and your masculine physique, but by allowing other women to flirt with you and to engage the women around you with a charming effrontery that dances along the line between seductive impudence and naive chatter. Pepper conversations with subtle references to your exercise progress and the high you get from feeling and looking so good. Don’t be afraid to be a little cocky.

As the man, you have to lead in this department. If you let yourself go, physically and mentally, she will either follow suit or she will lap you around the race track, in preparation for the day, coming soon, when she cheats on you or leaves you for the man worthy of her 0.7 waist-hip ratio and 21 BMI. Either result is death for the LTR that means anything. You stop wanting to have sex with her or she stops wanting to have sex with you.

LTRs make Jack and Jill dull lovers.

Creativity is the KY that lubes the limbic system. You remember how clever you sounded when you started dating her, and how much effort she put into dressing sexily and acting womanly? The things in our control that make us sexy are a function of our creativity. Over time, your cleverness atrophies from disuse, and her careful consideration of dress and feminine manners dissipates. You become a machine beeping trivialities and trite observations, and she becomes a billowy sweatshirt-wearing task master. You and her are in love, and love eventually subdues the pressure to impress.

A little bit of pressure keeps a relationship fun and fueled on its own momentum. Stay desirable to women besides your lover, and she will be sure to keep herself maximally attractive to you. Don’t fall into dispiriting patterns like taking vacation in the same locales, eating at the same restaurants, buying the same styles year in and year out, gossiping about the same bullshit that 7 billion other dullards gossip about. Again, as the man, you must lead here. Start with the sex. Instead of the usual routine kiss on the cheek when you come home from work, sidle up behind her when she’s in the kitchen, hike her skirt and fuck her from behind. Fuck her in the park. Fuck her on a boat. Fuck her at the top of a ferris wheel. One night of crazy fucking like this is worth ten years of couples therapy.

LTRs will make you and her codependent.

The lament is universal, a staple of sitcoms. “I don’t see my buddy anymore now that he’s got the ol’ ball and chain.” Love is dangerous in one important respect — it will divert a man from his mission(s) in life. His attention now solely focused on his lover, the hobbies, ambitions, social circle and side projects that made him so attractive to her begin to wither under the onslaught of the time-consuming LTR. Like a centrifuge, his self-made identity spins and jettisons away from him, to be replaced by the newly forged identity within the LTR.

Now you can’t do anything without her, and she you. In the beginning, this is a necessary process to build the level of trust and bonding that distinguishes the LTR from any run of the mill fling. But it morphs into a hermetic pair-bond cocoon, a soft escapable prison that shields from the outside world more than it protects. Increasingly consanguineous, the LTR alienates friends and slackens ambitions.

You will have to learn to make time for friends or hobbies in a way you never did as a single man, when friends just appeared and stuff happened. Try to recapture the spontaneity of the single life, and don’t sweat it when your lover wants to do the same with her own friends. Time apart with separate social groups, doing different things, is a battle cry asserting individuality and independence. A woman as much admires and desires the independent man as she fears and envies him. You will never see a brighter twinkle in a lover’s eyes than when, coming home from a night out with your buddies, you regale her with tales of manly impropriety, but then, just when her heartbeat has reached a fevered cadence, you offhandedly muse that you thought about her during the night.

LTRs are monogamous.

Monogamy. The word rouses yearning and trepidation in the male mind at once. A romantic blessing! Or is it a prison? Back and forth it goes, until the typical man resolves the issue by refusing to choose, allowing the choice to be made for him by dwindling options and headstrong harpies.

There is no doubt that men are programmed down to the cilia in their cells to desire sex with a multiplicity of attractive, fertile women. Variety is the spice of life, spread the seed, hogamus higamus etc. Some men have stronger urges to variety than other men, but in all men it is there in lesser or greater degree. The LTR, filled with the bounty of love, nevertheless thwarts a man’s genetic script to seed the wombs of many seed-able women.

For men with low compunction to promiscuity (provider betas), the monogamous relationship is a sweetheart deal: they give up something they weren’t all that gung-ho to pursue anyhow, for something that brings them much joy. Men with a raging libido and a wandering eye (caddish alphas) more or less suffer indignities under the LTR regime, and their predatory lust must be either squelched or sated, the former apt to inflict psychological and testicular distress while the latter a sure destruction of the intimate love that cannot tolerate infidelity except in the most feral societies.

The problem, all too familiar to readers of this blog, arises from the fact that the LTR-pursuing betas are less likely to tingle the ginas of LTR-loving women than the lustful alphas who must be dragged kicking and screaming into monogamous obligation. What a cruel joke nature has played on us all! To tempt men and women with a prize they both want, but to establish a set of playing rules that subverts the very prize to be won, and handicaps the players most invested in the game.

Many PUAs and gurus claim that this circle can be squared; that is, that the skilled seducer can have his cake and eat it, too. He can enjoy the love expressed in an LTR while getting some action on the side.

I have heard these stories, and even seen it play out in real life. But my opinion remains negative on the enterprise. For the overwhelmingly majority of men, from high to low station, game to gameless, it is an unrealistic and mostly unattainable trick to lock in a lover for the long haul while openly satisfying his sexual need for variety. Sooner or later, it will come to a head; the LTR will evaporate into divorce or loveless airs as the repeated insult of open infidelity scours his lover’s emotional bond, or the mistresses will remain discreet behind a wall of lies and resigned toleration by the put-upon woman, the way the French do it.

Naturally, the more alpha a man is, the greater his chances to pull off this pseudo-polygamous hat trick, owing primarily to the fact that women are quicker to forgive the vices of an alpha lover than a beta lover. But even alpha has its limits, and a woman who was once enthralled by her lover’s sexy but risky enticements will someday age both psychologically and chronologically, lose her estrogenic steam, and collapse under the weight of the betrayals. A man can love more than one woman at once, but a woman cannot love more than one man at once. She, at best, can only sex more than one man concurrently. She, ultimately, finds the fullness of her love manifest in the singular, unshared love of one man to whom she is faithfully devoted.

And so for this last part I have no answer. You, as a man, will have to choose what is more important to you: transcendent, unpolluted love, or visceral sexual pleasure. You may attempt to hide your mistresses, and that may work for a while, but it may also not work, and you will have to live with the little lies of omission for as long as you and your lover are together. Some men, particularly the ones most desired by women, are devoid of the moral sense, or sustain a cartoonish, wilted version of it, and can live side by side with lies and not give it a moment’s doubt or self-reflection.

You can also try your hand at an open relationship, wherein your lover knows you seek novel pussy on the side and you, presumably, allow her to do the same with novel cock. But realistically, most men will not be able to abide a lover’s infidelity, no matter how contractually agreed upon. The thought alone of a girlfriend or wife fucking another man, however many mistresses that man himself may indulge, will drive him to a fever. Men by nature and given a free choice would collect concubines and prefer those lovers guarded by eunuchs, not by virile male competitors.

Finally, there is the long shot of the one-way open relationship, aka the royal harem. She remains sexually and emotionally loyal to you, while you get to screw around whenever the feeling hits you. No lies, no subterfuge; everything is out in the open. In my experience, this can be done if your game is incredibly tight, BUT…

It won’t work forever. It won’t even work for a year. A few months is closer to the reality, and odds are it will end in a huge flame-out rather than a genial handshake. Some top PUAs love to crow about their ability to tie down girls into one-way open LTRs, and I have no reason to speculate about their honesty, but I do doubt many of these master seducers are pulling anything like this for more than a few months at a time. (Exceptions exist, but seriously, how long did Stephane Hemon’s threesome LTR last?) Women are certainly capable of swooning unreasonably for a truly charismatic alpha male, and agreeing to arrangements against their interests which in regards to any lesser man would strike women as laughable propositions, but to play kept woman in a real harem rather than a de facto harem shrouded in the mists of plausible deniability, exciting and drama-fueled as it is, is a contrivance guaranteed to end badly when the intoxication of labial lust wears off.

No matter how hot, young and vivacious your LTR lover is, your eye will someday wander, because it is in your nature as a man to want to fuck every sweet piece of ass who crosses your line of vision. To accommodate this visceral desire, you can abdicate the pursuit of LTRs and stay a single poon hound, you can enjoy an LTR while shooting for strange under cover of night, or you can make peace with your urges and learn to abide them unsatisfied as part of the LTR deal. Many men — most men, in fact — accept the latter, and do so without too much regret. The trade-offs, it seems, are worth it.

The choice is less a moral one than a practical one, inasmuch as animal desires supposedly bequeathed us by god can’t be said to have moral underpinnings. What do you prioritize? What gives you the greatest happiness? There’s your answer.

LEAVING HER BETTER THAN YOU FOUND HER? NOT LIKELY

It’s a common admonition from pickup artists that you should leave a girl better than you found her. I suppose mainstream PUAs (well, as mainstream as PUA gurus can get) say this to soften the perception that game is horribly cynical and manipulative. While they are right to claim that game is a blessing to women in much the same way that women exercising to stay sexy and slender is a blessing to men, they are veering into hyperbole to suggest that leaving a girl after you have gamed her into however many nights of sweaty sex is going to make her a better person.

Let’s examine the suppositions behind this smooth but empty incantation. Assume the average pickup artist meets a girl he likes and they date (read: screw) for a few months. Because he is a guy who knows game, she really digs him. At this three-month critical juncture, he has a few options before him: he can choose to stick it out for longer in monogamous isolation chamber hell bliss, he can lie about seeing other girls, he can somehow convince her to be part of his harem, or he can dump her to chase fresh tail. That last choice is what we’re interested in. What would be the reasons a man would leave a girl he is banging?

– he found a hotter girl

– the full extent of her horrid personality came to light

– she gained weight or suffered facial disfigurement from an accident or attack (hey, it’s a cruel world)

– he is bursting with ball juice and can’t go more than three months without sampling new pussy

– a hotter ex came back into his life

– he cheated and decided leaving her was preferable to staying with her in penance prison, offering his manly dignity as sacrificial lamb

– he just got plain tired of banging her and needed his single life back

– he moved far away, or she moved far away

– she started pressing him to move the relationship forward

– he caught her cheating

There are, I’m sure, other reasons why a man would leave a chick, but I think I’ve hit upon the most common ones. Now ask yourself this simple question: under any of the above dumping scenarios where the man has dumped a girl who really liked him (excluding the scenario where he caught her cheating), do you honestly believe the girl is going to feel better about herself afterwards? Happier? More content with life? Filled with joy and whimsy? Will she be a BETTER PERSON, whatever the fuck that means?

The answer is contained in the absurdity of the question. Of course, she won’t be happy. I doubt she’ll be much of a better person, either. Most girls who have torrid flings with alphas might learn what kind of player warning signs to watch for, but their hearts will ache for one more of his touches, and they won’t be able to bond very well with any future men who don’t rise to the standards set by her alpha ex.

When women get dumped by men they love, they get hurt. Ask any woman recently dumped by an alpha boyfriend, and you will most assuredly not hear a melodious note of happiness in her voice. What you will hear is pain, sorrow, regret, an inability to focus on anything, and even a sense of guilt (“I nagged him too much!”). There will be tears, anger and spite. What there won’t be is some Anthony Robbins-like revelation of self improvement.

So, no, gaming a girl and bringing much joy, sexual pleasure and emotional fulfillment into her life won’t carry over into making her happier or a better person once you remove that source of joy by dumping her. You can tell yourself that the fond memories you gave her will put a bounce in her step and help her realize how fortunate she was to have spent some time with an alpha male, but in reality those memories will be like stones dangling from heavy chains tied to her soul. They will haunt her for years, even into the bed of whatever future beta she marries.

Don’t believe me? Exhibit A. Meaty Monica won the fat chick lottery and got to chomp on Bill’s super alpha stogie, and to this day, aging and fatter than ever, she can’t get let go of him. Whatever lackluster beta she was suited for in the years to follow couldn’t compare to Bill, and so her fond memories have shackled her to a miserable life of sadness and loneliness. There is no escape for the woman whose sexual market value was temporarily artificially inflated by an alpha male on the hunt for a convenient hole.

When women get dumped, they do not become better people or happier people. In 99% of male-initiated dumpings (granted, this number will always be less than the number of women dumping men, owing to the mechanism of female hypergamy), the woman reacts primarily in one of two ways.

1. She broods and licks her wounds, unleashing her sorrow on girl friends and family. In extreme cases, she will retreat to a corner in her bedroom and gaze at the wall for a few days, sustaining herself on bits of orange and water. Her cat’s fur will become soaked and matted with her tears.

2. She lashes out bitterly with rage and spite. These types aren’t as common as type #1, and that’s a good thing, for they can be a nuisance at best and a criminal threat at worst. Type 2s, slave to their uncontrollable pain and anger, will attempt to poison the well of whatever friendships or associations you shared. She will, in varying degrees, stalk you, harass you, slander you and generally try to make it difficult for you to get her out of your life without a restraining order.

This, aspiring PUAs, is what is known as leaving a woman WORSE than you found her. A more accurate description than the la-dee-da twaddle I’ve seen peddled by some otherwise sensible pickup artists.

Women suffer the hardship of breakups worse than alpha males, (though probably not any worse, and more likely better, than beta males, who are truly knee deep in the shit when they are suddenly left without a partner). An alpha male knows his prospects are virtually limitless and his time horizon longer than any woman’s. A breakup he initiates is a renewed license of freedom and sexual escapade. Even a breakup he doesn’t initiate has little impact on his life; he’ll feel bad for five minutes and fix himself right by hitting the bar that night for new numbers.

Women, in contrast, have a smaller fertility window than men, (which is just a proxy for a beauty window), and they know that each failed relationship exacts a bigger toll on their marketability and their psyches than it does on any man’s. A breakup after two years with an alpha male can leave a woman in an emotional shambles, and her real life prospects noticeably dimmed, because her dating and marriage value begins depreciating right after her early 20s, and speeding up to terminal velocity by her mid 30s. Conversely, a man’s dating and marriage value RISES right up until his 40s, give or take five years, and can conceivably continue rising well into late middle age if he has compensating attractive traits for his physical decline. Women have no such option.

It would be wise for you Don Juans to remember that, the next time you rationalize that your leaving her will actually make her a better person. There is no spinning away the ugly reality with a sappy cliche. Better to embrace your wicked choice and feast on the brutality of it all. Makes for a more invigorating life.

SWEETNESS

Sweetness is defined as robbing a girl of the satisfaction of walking away from a failing relationship with the upper hand. It means stealing her thunder when she wants to be the dumper. There are two ways to do this, and both require presence of mind to accurately assess when she is about to pull the trigger. Timing is everything; you need to act right after she has made up her mind but just before she announces her intent to leave. Striking when the dissolution of the relationship has reached core meltdown will ensure maximum emotional impact and bewilderment.

Strategy 1

Dump her first.

Don’t do it too early while the embers of love are still strong or you’ll forswear many more months of sex and leave her brokenhearted. The Moloko Plus of righteous vengeance tastes bitter when raised in toast to a hapless, innocent victim. Save your awesome cruelty for the deserving. After she has grown cold to your affections and has begun plotting her escape she will care not a whit for your well-being. Thereafter feel free to unleash your malevolence unburdened by guilt.

When she has stopped returning your calls promptly and you sense the first stirrings of trouble, put your plan into action. Arrange to meet for drinks at your favorite bar (familiar turf is best). She won’t balk yet because you and her are still dating even if the spark has left. She may have lost the desire to hang out with you but her sense of obligation to the relationship will linger a little while longer. This window of tentative indifference usually lasts about two weeks. This is when you will act. As you and her are sitting there drinking and you’re watching her get more irritable by the minute, pause dramatically and with great solemnity announce that it’s just not working out, you’ve felt this way for a while, and though you hate hurting her like this you can’t fake it anymore and pretend like everything’s OK. You think it is unfair to keep her in a one-sided relationship when you don’t share her feelings and you want to end it now so the both of you can move on.

IMPORTANT: Do NOT give her an opportunity to respond. You want the confusion to fuck with her head for weeks.

Stand up from the table, throw a few bucks down for the drinks, and tell her you hope you can still be friends. When she attempts to sputter something in defense, hold up your hand forcefully and say “Don’t make it harder! We both need time to ourselves”, then walk out.

Strategy 2

Use her dumping power against her.

Wait for her to initiate the inevitable breakup talk and get a sense of the direction she plans to steer the conversation, then use her own words as your weapons. For instance, if she starts “I’ve been thinking…” you reply “I’ve been thinking too…”. If she says “I need space…” you say “I agree, we both need space…” then give her a reason why that space is so important by homing in on one of her critical weaknesses. Don’t know her critical weakness? What are you, a nancyboy? One of the first things you should accomplish in a relationship is taking a mental note of your girlfriend’s vulnerabilities. If you feel bad about doing this, trust me, she’s doing it to you. So find her buttons in case you need to press them in the future.

This strategy works only if you execute with the utmost subtlety. Simply blurting out everything you find distasteful about her after she has already lowered the boom will make you look feeble and hurt. You want to agree with her and then add your own opinion of the reasons for the failed relationship as if you understand her difficulty and are trying to make the whole process of dumping you easier for her. At first, she will approve of your “maturity” in handling the situation; later, when what you have said sinks in, she will seethe with hatred for you.

An example of this happened to me with a LAWYER chick I had dated for a couple months. She didn’t return one of my text messages for two days so I knew what to expect when she finally called. I answered the phone prepared:

Her: I have something to tell you…

Me: Yeah, me too.

Her: You do? Well go ahead, what did you want to say?

Me: No, you go first. I didn’t mean to interrupt.

Her: Well, OK… I’m sorry about this but I just don’t see us working out…

Me: I know…

Her: … and I don’t think… you know?

Me: Yeah, we’re not a good match. You’re looking for something else, and I’m looking for a more down-to-earth girl.

[NOTE: Every chick lawyer’s open bleeding wound is being thought of as too uptight, snobby, and anal. Telling a lawyer she is not down-to-earth is like rubbing rock salt in the wound.]

Her: Down-to-earth?

Me: I guess I was hoping it would work itself out.

Her: [Switching into snippy lawyer-talk mode] Well, I’m glad we can agree on this. Good day.

Oh I had hit pay dirt. Sure, I didn’t want the good times to end but at least I stopped her momentum dead in its tracks and left her with steam coming out of her ears. The proof of this is in what happened six months later when she saw me sitting at a sidewalk cafe table with some friends — she approached me and looked visibly nervous as she practically shouted how great it was to see me. My deft handling of the breakup had seared an indelible impression in her mind. Robbing her of the closure every woman needs with a breakup is a surefire way to keep the attraction simmering.

With great hate comes great love.

7 GAME: MARRIAGE

MARRIAGE VS LTRS

Let’s compare two men.

Man 1 abjures marriage. He grows older moving from one long term relationship to another, experiencing relative instability in his love life but also the thrill of the hunt and the popping freshness of pussy varietals. As he ages, the number of women who are willing to abide his no-marriage clause shrinks, as does the youthful quality of the women. But he partly compensates for this inevitability with tight game and a charming, devil-may-care attitude, which allows him to punch above his weight well into his dotage. He has no heirs that he knows of, and for some reason this does not bother him as much as people tell him it should, but the fact that he is not bothered does bother him. He wonders, often now that the years ahead of him are far fewer than the years behind him, if one of those women he loved was one to hold to the exclusion of all others. At the end, he wheezes his last with memories of hundreds, perhaps thousands, of women — of their loving ministrations and tender caresses and fleeting intimacies between window blind shafts of sunlight — dancing through his head, and in the company of a nebulous regret that refuses to dislodge.

Man 2 abjures bachelorhood. He marries at 30 after a trio of lukewarm short term relationships, and because he is a good man (or, more likely, because he is a man of middling status and dull personality with limited options in the sexual market which alleviates any threats of temptation against his virtue) he never cheats and puts his heart into pleasing his wife, who, because of her biology, inexorably grows less interested in sex with him, as her own attractiveness subsides in accord with her fattening waistline. He is healthy and content, all things considered, and he grows old fondly remembering his wife as she was many years ago, sexy and slender and whimsical, while the allure of her pussy — the only pussy he has seen and felt in twenty years — gradually diminishes, until the time comes he would rather caress pretty strangers with his eyes than caress his wife with his hands. He has two children, of whom he is very proud and loves very much, but still their existence does not relieve the gnawing that grips him in the chest when he thinks of love, and desire, that left him long ago. At the end, he wheezes his last in the company of his old wife’s tears and clouded eyes, and he drifts off to forever with memories he wished he had, and memories so distant they have receded to mere imagination.

Now… ask yourself: Which of these two men had it better?

DON'T GET MARRIED

This article lays out pretty thoroughly just what a raw deal marriage is for men. Divorce is twice as likely to catch husbands by surprise as it is wives.

In a 2004 poll by the AARP, one in four men who were divorces in the previous year said they “never saw it coming.” (Only 14 percent of divorced women said they experienced the same unexpected broadside.)

In divorce, it’s men who suffer more financially:

The divorce system tends to award wives custody of the children, substantial child support, the marital home, half the couple’s assets, and, often, heavy alimony payments.

This may come as startling news to a public that has been led to believe that women are the ones who suffer financially postdivorce, not men. But the data show otherwise, according to an exhaustive study of the subject by Sanford L. Braver, a professor of psychology at Arizona State University and author of Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myths.

[…] social scientists ignored men’s expenses — the tab for replacing everything from the bed to the TV to the house — as well as the routine costs of helping to raise the children, beyond child support. Even the tax code favors women: Not only is child support not tax deductible for fathers, but a custodial mother can take a $1,000 per child tax credit; the father cannot, even if he’s paying. As “head of the household,” the mother gets a lower tax rate and can claim the children as exemptions. If the ex-wife remarries, she is still entitled to child support, even if she marries a billionaire. Indeed, every year men are actually thrown in jail for failing to meet their child-support obligations. In the state of Michigan alone, nearly 3,000 men were locked up for that offense in 2005.

The stark realities of divorce paint a picture overwhelmingly tilted against a man’s interests. Here’s an example of just how bad it can get for a beta provider who thought if he was the good man the gods of fairness would reward him with steady sex, a faithful and loving wife, and a stable family:

They’d started going on expensive vacations in Europe and Hawaii, and he figured she’d be pleased at the prospect of taking more trips together, or at least at the prospect of seeing him around the house a little more, and not buried in his basement office. He had met her in graduate school over a quarter century ago, and they’d had their ups and downs, but he was still crazy about her. And he thought that, with a little more time together, she’d be crazy about him again too.

But no. She scarcely listened to any talk of retirement, or of vacations, or of anything he had to say. She had plans of her own.

“I want a divorce,” she said.

Paul was so stunned that he thought he must have misheard her. But her face told him otherwise. “She looked like the enemy,” he says. He started to think about everything he’d built: the thriving business, the wonderful family, the nice life in the suburbs. And he thought of her, and how much he still loved her. And then, right in front of her, he started to cry.

That night, he found a bottle of whiskey, and he didn’t stop drinking it until he nearly passed out.

Things turned sh—- very fast. His wife took out a temporary restraining order, accusing him of attempting to kidnap their youngest son. The claim was never proved in court. Then, with the aid of some high-priced lawyers, she extracted from him a whopping $50,000 a month — a full 75 percent of his monthly income. Barred from the house, he was not allowed regular access to the office he used to generate that income. (On the few times he was permitted inside, his wife did not let him use the bathroom. She insisted that he go outside in the woods.)

Paul is a very wealthy man, an “alpha” by most men’s definitions (though not by my definition) — he earns over $65,000 per month — yet his high financial status ultimately did not shield him from his wife’s dr. Jekyllmrs. Hyde act. In fact, it may have hastened her merciless decision. Paul is a classic beta provider, and after his wife had extracted the last penny of tribute from him to raise the kids to a self-sufficient age and live the life of a bon boneating oprah watcher, she disposed of him with the cold-hearted cruelty of a despot dispatching his enemies by firing squad. His wife is likely a Hillary supporter.

Maxim #13: When the love is gone, women can be as cold as if they had never known you.

If that isn’t enough to convince you of the high risk gamble that is marriage, here’s another horror story:

Long before his wife came along, a frame-store owner named Jordan Appel, 55, had built a fine house for himself atop West Newton Hill in one of the fancier Boston suburbs. He loved bringing in a wife and then adding two children. “It felt so wonderful to say ‘my wife’ and ‘my children’ and feel part of a community.” He volunteered for the preschool’s yard sale; his wife took up with a lover. Sometimes she slept with him in Appel’s own house; in time, she decided to divorce Appel. As these things go, he was obliged to leave the house, and, as it happened, the community too. Money was so tight that he ended up sleeping in a storage room above his frame shop two towns away. His ex-wife works part-time on the strength of Appel’s child custody and alimony payments, and spends time with her boyfriend in Appel’s former house. She lives rather well, and he has to make $100,000 a year to support her and the children, which amounts to 70-hour workweeks. One day, he went back to his house and discovered many of his belongings out on the sidewalk with the trash. “My body feels like it’s dissolving in anger,” he says. “I’m in an absolute rage every single day.”

Now of course, many of you will say “but this guy Jordan is a total beta letting his wife take advantage of him like that!” and you’d be right. But regardless of his personal failings, his congenital betatude is no reason to accede to injustice codified by a discriminatory legal system. Either the laws change (and I personally favor elimination of no fault divorce as a start) or men should heed my advice and stay clear of the altar. Since I am not going to lift a finger to agitate for new laws that have a zero percent chance of happening in my lifetime, I follow the second option.

Maxim #8: Marriage is a social mechanism designed to exchange sex for indentured servitude.

So why are women now the eager instigators of divorce? What changed in the culture? Four things, primarily: the pill, easy divorce, women’s economic independence, and rigged laws that make divorce a good financial prospect for women. The four sirens of the sexual apocalypse together have created the perfect sociological storm where a woman has every incentive in the world to ditch a husband to follow the whims of her heart once his usefulness has been exhausted.

Listen to me — skip all that shit and learn to get the sex for free if you don’t already. All the positive loving benefits you can get out of marriage can also be had within an unmarried relationship.

Later in the article, the question is asked what can men do to avoid divorce?

One way, of course, is to avoid marriage.

The CH method. So elegant, so simple. So effective!

[…]husbands might be wise to pay attention to the essential ratio that — according to John Gottman, PhD, a world-renowned researcher of marriage stability — governs marital success or failure: five to one. That means husbands (and wives) should direct at least five positive remarks or actions to their spouses for every negative one. Any less and the marriage is in trouble.

Dr. John Gottman, five to one you are a dumbfuck. Glorifying their wives and putting them on pedestals is exactly what cost these hopeless betas their marriages. What they need to do is challenge their wives, not kiss their expanding asses with a stream of compliments. Cockiness, humor, turning the tables, not taking her shit, flirting with other women while wifey is watching… these are the improvements in character that will keep a wife’s love for her husband strong. As long as men are following the advice of these “social scientists” they will never unlock the mystery of what attracts women to men and they will suffer the consequences.

Here is an excellent quote from the article which vividly illustrates how badly the system is rigged in favor of women:

“A father could be sitting in his own home, not agreeing to a divorce, not unfaithful to his marriage vows, and not abusive, and the next thing he knows, the court has taken his house, his children, and a lot of his money, and then forced him to pay his wife’s legal fees and even her psychologist’s fees. And he can be threatened with jail time if he resists.”

To recap:

divorce theft

monogamy

second class spouse under the law

sex once a month TOPS with the same old pussy

So.
Where’s the upside?

THE LIE OF LOCKING HER IN

It’s a nagging crescendo in my ear. Family is saying it, friends are hinting it: When are you going to settle down? Usually the words they use are along the lines of “Is she the one? You should think about sticking it out with this one. Do you want to be alone the rest of your life? Do you think you can play the field forever?”

Yes, I think I can play the field forever.

Why do people balk at those who choose the lifestyle of the love mercenary, of the wanderlust warrior? Envy, mostly. Sincere concern, rarely. These voices — social pressure that sows self-doubt — will influence most men. Very few men have the fortitude to live the life of Oswald Hendryks Cornelius. Marriage, and probable divorce, is in the cards for most men.

Why do men bother to get married? There’s really nothing in it for them. All that marriage offers a man can be had in a loving, long term relationship.

So why? These are the best reasons rationalizations I can think of:

I have to lock her in because the snatch must flow.

As any dead-eyed married man will tell you, the sex is always hottest until that first bite of wedding cake. Sure, marriage might mean fewer extended dry spells, and a more consistent output of pussy, but the quality of that output is going to take a nosedive.

Fact: Once in a secure relationship (and nothing is more secure for a woman than marriage — the law sees to that) a woman’s sex drive plummets. If you like your girl to move around a bit in bed and actually, you know, enjoy getting jackhammered by your beefy breach, marriage will see to it that she reads a trashy romance novel and sighs with boredom while asking “you done yet, honey?” while you huff and puff your way to another anti-climactic climax.

Fact: Women pack on the pounds after getting married. What good is consistent sex if it’s with a hippo? No wonder so many married men sneak away in the middle of the night to jack off to internet porn.

Fact: Your wife’s pussy will always be the same. Yep, one year, five years, ten years — that pussy looking back at you is like an old, very old, friend — that you no longer want to have sex with. Familiarity breeds contempt. When you’ve memorized the length and location of every pube and the droop of labia draggle, you’re going to ache for fresh meat. For men, variety is the spice of life. If older men maintained the libido of their younger selves you’d see extramarital affairs shoot through the roof.

If I don’t marry her, she’ll leave me. And then I’ll be alone.

There are two things wrong with this reasoning. One, if you don’t have the confidence to score another woman in case of a break-up, then you don’t have the confidence to keep your current girlfriend attracted to you. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. Think you’ll be alone, then you will be alone, even when you’re not. Or: Fear is the mindkiller.

Two, marriage is no insurance policy against being unceremoniously dumped. Maybe it was at one time, but not anymore. A woman loses NOTHING that can compare to what you will lose if she decides to divorce you. Worse, in 2009 America there is every incentive in the world for a woman to divorce at the slightest drop in her attraction for her husband. Financial, legal, social, sometimes even sexual. The god of biomechanics does not take a holiday from reality once you slip a ring on your beloved’s finger.

I might not do better.

Sure, but then you could lament the same thing in non-marital relationships. Look at your LTR. You might not do better. Look at your fling. You might not do better. Look at your fuckbuddy. You might not do better. Look at that old pic of your college sweetheart. You might not do better.

So… how is marriage going to save you from this fear-induced soul searching? It’s not. If anything, marriage is only going to rub your face in your testicular impotence. If your wife thinks you can’t do better, she’ll begin to treat you like women treat every man who can’t do better — shittily. Except now, she’s got the long arm of the marital law on her side, so you don’t even have the option to find out if you can do better without taking a world class ramming up the ass. As bad as dry spells are, they’re even worse when the pussy you used to tap has closed up shop and taunts you nightly from across the bed.

She’ll stop loving me if I don’t marry her.

Assbackwards. Women don’t stop loving men for any reason except one — he turned beta. What about cheaters? Nope. Talk to women about their most cherished loves. You’ll notice something. Scorned women harbor their deepest love for the men who gutted their hearts. Not marrying her is more likely to have the opposite effect; the more you resist, the stronger her love for you.

Sure, some women do eventually leave men when it becomes clear to them that they aren’t going to propose. But that’s not the same as losing love for those men.

She’ll never agree to a non-marital long term relationship.

You’d be surprised how quickly women will agree to your terms when you have her gina tingle on lockdown. And if she doesn’t agree? Find yourself a woman who does. The mere threat of leaving her over this issue will often be enough to bring her around to your way of thinking.

I’ll just get married when I’m older. Late marriages have a lower divorce rate.

The reason younger marriages fail more often than marriages later in life is because younger people in their 20s have more options in the sexual market. Options = instability.

But don’t crow about the benefits of later marriages. For one, older women don’t have as many prime fertile years left in which to bear children. Two, later marriages often feel more like business propositions than ecstatic vows of love. That is not a good thing.

I’ll live longer as a married man.

Leaving aside that this statistic may be more myth than reality, what benefit is it to you to live a few extra years shuffling along painfully in well-worn slippers and gazing longingly outside windows at youth frolicking with the joy of health and vigor? My take on getting older: It’s immortality or bust.

It’s the right thing to do.

Right thing? I don’t give a shit. Good man? Fuck you! Go home and play with your pud. You wanna good life — don’t close! You think this is abuse?

You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can’t take this, how can you take the abuse you get in divorce proceedings?

It’s good for society.

You’re right, it is. But since when did society give a fuck about you?

But I really love her.

Did you not really love her before you dropped to one knee?

I want to have kids.

This might be the only halfway acceptable reason to get married. If you want the best for your kids, raising them in a broken home is not the way to do it. But even here, women have the upper hand. No matter how much you love your kids, if a divorce happens (50% chance, 70+% chance the wife initiates it) you are going to be paying child support for the new lingerie your ex-wife buys to sexually please her blogger lover.

I don’t see how any man could want kids, though. Kids are a complete fun suck. They don’t get enjoyable until ages 11-13, after they’ve evolved from bratty ingrates and before they’ve turned into brooding ingrates. If men would think long and hard about kids, they’d come to the same conclusion I did: Changing diapers or sex in the woods? The choice is clear.

To all those imploring that I settle down, I say: Don’t hold your breath. Yes, I will get older. But then, I would have gotten older in a marriage, too. Yes, there is a risk I could live out my final, rapidly deteriorating years in solitude. But then, marriage is no guarantee of a life lived loved. A signature on a dotted line and a jointly filed tax return does not protect you from living loveless and solitary. There is also the small matter of my inquisitive eye. Even when I love the girl I’m with, it seems that when I’m out I can’t help but admire another beautiful woman in the vicinity, and to desire her in the most intimate manner. I imagine scenarios flirting with her, making her smile and her eyes sparkle, her legs cross and uncross in sublimated autoeroticism. This urge of mine does not have an off switch.

I know that hedonic convergence does not magically manifest in the gleam of a gold ring. Life is a parade of worry and high wire risk, of love and loneliness, and no socially manufactured arrangement exists to insulate you from your dreaded fears. To imagine otherwise is beta.

LONG-TERM COHABITATION IS JUST AS GOOD AS MARRIAGE

Many conservative, religious, anti-game and traditionalist types like to claim that this blog underplays the advantages offered to men by marriage. They redundantly quote studies purporting to show that married men live longer, healthier lives than single men. We here at Le Chateau have balked at such assertions, helpfully reminding our traditionalist, neoBiblical brethren that the same benefits found in marriage can be had living in long-term, loving relationships.

The reasoning is simple: the pro-marriage studies are conflating the benefit of living with someone under marital contract with freely living with someone who loves you. Sex, love and affectionate companionship don’t feel any more fulfilling when a piece of paper is signed. If you really think about it, it makes no sense that a man’s health would improve and his lifespan increase because he signed on the marital dotted line. Something else is at work here, and that something else is long-term shared love, with or without the imprimatur of a marriage license.

Of course, haters miss the nuance and continue their rampage against the dissolute lifestyle of the “player”, which they mistakenly believe this blog advocates. (In point of fact, this blog advocates learning game and the way of the alpha so that men have the freedom and the options to pursue whichever type of relationship with women they want, whether that be marriage and its attendant risks or frisky one night stands and their attendant, albeit lesser, risks.) “PUAs are wrong! Marriage is good for men!” they wail, refusing to even tackle the debate points to the contrary that crop up on this blog.

The Chateau warned the trads and supposed “realist” thinkers (this post at Audacious Epigone is a good example of the kind of statistical legerdemain I’m talking about) that the studies claiming health, sexual and psychological benefits accruing to men from marriage were comparing the wrong variables. The comparison should not be between married men and single men, but between married men and ALPHA men in unmarried relationships. Single, quasi-celibate betas and omegas bring down the averages for single men as a whole, and make married men look fucking great in comparison.

The claims about marriage benefits disappear once you alter the variables to reflect a fairer comparison:

1. Unmarried men in long-term relationships receive just as many health and happiness benefits as married men. The crucial variable is not the marriage certificate; it’s the love.

2. Unmarried, cohabiting men enjoy the pleasure of thinner lovers than the fat wives enjoyed by married men. Strike one against the notion that men enjoy better sex within the confines of marriage, even if they are getting more of it than single betas. All indicators are that, once married and backed by the long arm of the law, women pretty much let themselves go to pot.

3. Unmarried players are just as desired by women for marriage as beta providers, (but unmarried players just don’t tend to commit to women as readily.) So marriage tells us little about the quality, or alphaness, of the men who willingly take up the shackles.

4. There is no evidence I’m aware of that married men have more frequent sex with their indentured sperm receptacles aka wives than unmarried men *in relationships* have with their girlfriends. That’s the key distinction. My bet, if such data could be extracted, is that unmarried men with girlfriends, and particularly those who cohabit, have more sex than married men. I throw the challenge out to the GSS nerds to unleash the data.

5. Finally, why do pro-marriage anti-gamers always assume that maximizing sex frequency is the desired goal for men? Quality matters. One hundred sex sessions with a seacow will be less satisfying for most men than one session with a knockout. Go ahead, ask any man about his fondest sex memories. That one night with the bombshell will immediately leap to the front of his mind, crowding out the three years of sex with his dumpy wife. Not to mention, many men will gladly trade lots of one pussy for less of many pussies. Variety is the spice of life.

But wait, stop the presses! Look what we have here. Yet ANOTHER study confirming the Heartiste worldview.

A new study, published in the Journal of Marriage and Family reveals that married couples experience few advantages for psychological well-being, health, or social ties compared to unmarried couples who live together. While both marriage and cohabitation provide benefits over being single, these reduce over time following a honeymoon period. […]

Previous research has sought to prove a link between marriage and well-being, but many studies compared marriage to being single, or compared marriages and cohabitations at a single point in time.

This study compares marriage to cohabitation while using a fixed-effects approach that focuses on what changes when single men and women move into marriage or cohabitation and the extent to which any effects of marriage and cohabitation persist over time. […]

The results showed a spike in well-being immediately following both marriage and cohabitation as couples experienced a honeymoon period with higher levels of happiness and fewer depressive symptoms compared to singles. However, these advantages were short lived.

Marriage and cohabitation both resulted in less contact with parents and friends compared to remaining single – and these effects appeared to persist over time.

“We found that differences between marriage and cohabitation tend to be small and dissipate after a honeymoon period. Also while married couples experienced health gains – likely linked to the formal benefits of marriage such as shared healthcare plans – cohabiting couples experienced greater gains in happiness and self-esteem. For some, cohabitation may come with fewer unwanted obligations than marriage and allow for more flexibility, autonomy, and personal growth” said Musick.

I think we can at last put to rest the myth that marriage is some kind of uniquely beneficial arrangement for men.* As this blog has been saying for years, you can get all the benefits of marriage in a loving long-term, unmarried relationship, including cohabitation, without the unbelievably shitty risks.** And now science proves it. Of course, most betas will persist in the erroneous belief that they have to lock a girl in by marrying her, but that’s just testament to their inability to view women through anything but a lens of fear.

*Note: Claiming that a particular romantic arrangement is good for individual men is not the same as claiming it is good for society. While cohabitation offers many advantages to single men, it is probably better for a heterogeneous collective and its mutant posterity that society organize itself around the institution of marriage and the two-parent family. That means making marriage more enticing, not less, for the typical shoe-gazing beta stuck in diversity land.

**As more men come to understand the tangible and intangible benefits that cohabitation offers, and embrace the lifestyle, expect to see hordes of feminists and pilgrim johns try to regulate it so that it begins to resemble in burden the same crumbling wreck of marriage that men are abandoning in droves. There’s no way those interests are gonna let a cash cow in the form of transfer payments from men to women just disintegrate overnight. And make no mistake, or be deluded by the sloppy romanticism with which beta males imbue the institution: marriage is a sacrifice for men, and a gain for women. There are no two ways about it. Men have to surrender fealty to their primary directive to spread their seed in exchange for second-rate benefits that can be had just as easily within unmarried LTRs, while women get sustained material and emotional provisioning that more closely aligns with their innate monogamous proclivity. All the sacrifice from legalized commitment, in other words, is born by the man. Cohabitation is an escape clause that no feminist or tradcon, if they give it some thought, can allow to persist unimpeded.

WHY SLUTS MAKE BAD WIVES

This is a post about sluts. It is a post that will inflame the small animal passions of milquetoasty, nonjudgmentalist men and women alike, for in this post is evidence — hard evidence — that sluts are bad choices for long term girlfriends and, especially, wives. Chateau reps have written extensively (and gleefully!) on this subject, always with a phalanx of indignant detractors yelping in protest and vomiting some lame excuse or another.

The mentally flaccid nonjudgmentalists are running from ugly truths they cannot bear to accept, and never is this more apparent than when discussing the price that sluts pay in the open sexual market. Here, for instance, is an excerpt from an infamous post that sent hordes of internet whores into screeching hissy fits:

[T]his goes without saying, but apparently there are some commenters who believe being completely nonjudgemental of anything a woman does is the mark of an alpha. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Only alphas have the market value to mercilessly judge the women they choose to bring into their lives.

Men subconsciously judge women’s sluttiness for eminently practical reasons, just as women judge men on a host of alpha benchmarks for similarly practical reasons. No moral equation required. “Slut” is, in fact, a morally neutral term in the context of the sexual market, where a slutty girl is viewed, justifiably and desirably, as an easy lay who will go all the way right away, and undesirably as a girlfriend or wife prospect in whom to invest precious resources. With the law and social institutions of the modern west arrayed against male interest as it hasn’t been in all of human history, it is of critical importance that men get this part of choosing girls for long term investment and wife and mother potential down to a science.

Well, the science has arrived; at least, the science that proves that sluts are suckers’ bets for LTRs or marriage. You want to marry or have a loving long-term relationship with a girl without an elevated risk that she’ll divorce you or cheat on you? Then you had better get good real fast at screening the sluts from the relatively chaste girls so that you can lavish your resources and commitment on the latter.

The Social Pathologist has crunched the numbers, and the verdict is in: women with lots of past partners are more likely to divorce than women who didn’t take a self-empowering spin on the cock carousel.

The results presented in this article replicate findings from previous research: Women who cohabit prior to marriage or who have premarital sex have an increased likelihood of marital disruption. Considering the joint effects of premarital cohabitation and premarital sex, as well as histories of premarital relationships, extends previous research. The most salient finding from this analysis is that women whose intimate premarital relationships are limited to their husbands—either premarital sex alone or premarital cohabitation—do not experience an increased risk of divorce. It is only women who have more than one intimate premarital relationship who have an elevated risk of marital disruption. This effect is strongest for women who have multiple premarital coresidential unions. These findings are consistent with the notion that premarital sex and cohabitation have become part of the normal courtship pattern in the United States. They do not indicate selectivity on characteristics linked to the risk of divorce and do not provide couples with experiences that lessen the stability of marriage.

A good guess as to what precipitates this “marital disruption” — the slut gets bored with her betafied hubby.

Here is a handy graph associated with the study:

As The Social Pathologist writes:

Note, the really disturbing [finding] still holds. As soon as a woman has had more than one partner her long term marital stability risk drops to near 50%.

Poetry of Flesh’s brand spanking new hubby wept. On the other hand, she is old enough to be less of a flight risk, so there’s that. Which is nice for him. I guess.

Players and traditionalists, take a close look at that graph. When a woman has had 16 or more past lovers, the odds that a marriage to her will end in divorce rise to over 80%! Even “average” women with “only” five past lovers — women that few men would admit in public qualify as sluts — see an increase in odds of divorce to 70%. What man would want to screw his chances by marrying that? No wonder women react so vehemently to accusations of sluttitude and to helpful hints from yours truly on how best to identify sluts before you get in too deep.

Basically gentlemen, if you want to beat the sordid odds and enter a marriage with a less than 50% likelihood it will end in divorce, you need to date virgins or girls who have had only one partner before you. Good luck with that! Of course, you can do as the Chateau recommends and skip out on marriage altogether. This option opens the playing field for you to continually date and dump sluts as you see fit, minus the accompanying divorce theft financial rape.

Interesting conjectures arise as to why sluts pose a greater divorce risk than more innocent girls. The most obvious is encapsulated in this maxim:

Maxim #80: The more cocks that have ravaged a woman, the less any one cock will mesmerize her.

Sluts may have higher testosterone levels, leading them to cheat and, thus, to increase marital instability. Sluts may get bored faster with any one man. Sluts attract the sorts of men who themselves have no use for monogamous commitment. Sluts may just be fucked in the head. Their psychology doesn’t matter as much as the ability to quickly identify and discard them as potential wife and mother of your children material.

What’s really going to blow some readers’ minds is that, despite the happy smackdown of the platitude parade marchers, the Chateau is not necessarily anti-slut. After all, sluts are good to go. They make easy lays in a pinch when you don’t feel like investing much time or energy into winning over a more prudish girl. Sluts are often wild in bed from the get-go; no training required. And sluts have lower expectations; they will rarely pressure you for a ring.

Nevertheless, what the above study and graph should convince you is that there are solid biological and sociological reasons why men place higher value on virgin women, and this fact is immutable regardless of the handwaving by the polyamory crowd. Sluts are simply a poor investment strategy for men seeking something more than a fling. This goes doubly for relationships codified by the state.

It should also be noted that sluts, while possessing pasts spattered with the cumshots of multiple lovers, are not less discriminating than saints. Betas thinking that all they have to do is hone in on sluts for the easy kill are in for a rude surprise. Sluts want to be properly gamed by an alpha male just as much as good girls. The difference is that sluts will sleep with more alphas, and will jump into bed quicker with them, than will good girls.

No girl wants to be labeled a slut (even if she co-opts the term for herself in a vain attempt to de-fang it), which is why women lie about their past number of partners. Women know, deep down, that being less slutty means better treatment from men.

To men thinking about marriage, double the total number of past lovers your girlfriend admits to you, add additional lovers based on the slut cues she reveals, and divide a 1 carat diamond engagement ring by that total. Ergo, a woman with twenty cocks in her past would receive a 1/20th carat ring.

Preferably quartz.

HOW TO PROPOSE LIKE AN ALPHA MALE

Despite my well-researched and logically unassailable warnings to the contrary, some of you who read me will someday decide to marry the woman of your best available options. If you do insist on acting in such a personally disadvantageous way, you should at least pop the question like an alpha male. That’s how you set a precedent.

Here are some suggestions.

Alpha move

“Whaddaya say we get hitched?”

Superalpha move

“Whaddaya say we get hitched, my number one bitch?” Then slip this ring on her finger:

If your woman is not willing to wear a ring with the diamond on the inside, away from public view, then you’ll have all the proof you need that she is a grubby status whore. This ring is pure deviousness; there is no way out for her. She can’t accuse you of cheapness; the diamond is in there. And if she wears it she can’t go around advertising her ring finger for inspection by all of her yenta friends to show that she is prettier than them to be able to land a man with discretionary cash to blow on a useless rock. I would almost be willing to spend cash money on this diamond ring just to see the look on my beloved’s face.

Alpha move

Walk up behind her, wrap your arms around her, lean over her shoulder, and while placing the ring box into her hand whisper in your deepest, most gravelly voice: “Let’s do this.”

Superalpha move

Same as above, but instead of an engagement ring box, put two tickets to Vegas and a brochure for the Elvis Chapel in her hand.

Alpha move

“You know, I never thought I’d hear myself saying this, but… ah fuck it, let’s go crazy and get married, babe.”

Superalpha move

“You know why I’m asking you to marry me? Cause you’re the kind of girl who would sign a pre-nup. That’s what I cherish about you.”

Alpha move

“How long we been together? Five years? Ten years? It’s time…” Slide the ring box over to her.

Superalpha move

“May as well dot the i’s and cross the t’s and get married already.”

Alpha move

Take her to a secluded nature spot. Dance with her under the clear moonlight. Gaze into her eyes and slip the ring on her finger, saying nothing.

Superalpha move

Take her to a secluded nature spot. Dance with her under the clear moonlight. Gaze into her eyes and slip a handcrafted origami paper ring on her finger. Tell her “You know you want it, babe.”

Alpha move

“Marry me, lovechop.”

Superalpha move

“Marry me, dirty whore.”

You’ll note that the common theme to these examples is the refusal to drop to one knee or to ask for her hand in the traditional (read: beta) way. There is no “Will you marry me?” nauseating pleading, and there is certainly no doing it on your knees like the indentured servant you are about to become by agreeing to ratify your copulations with a marriage license.

Some alpha males get married for social or religious reasons, and for them following my proposal advice above will go a long way toward ensuring they enjoy many years of grateful wifery and minimal backtalk. But for the truly self-aware alphas who have transcended petty societal concerns and stifling tradition, marriage is seen for what it is — a self-inflicted prison sentence to curb one’s masculine allure. These men will never worry about when or how to propose, for the issue has been rendered moot by clear thinking.

8 GAME: SEXBOTS

SEXBOTS

Forget flying cars and interstellar travel, the next big thing to radically transform society will be sexbots. Japanese girlfriend substitutes, lifelike dolls, porn saturation… all signs are pointing toward a technological coalescence of immense implications for relations between the sexes. It’s a horny new world on the horizon of men having sex with the artificial women of their dreams. Mein Gott.

Much has been written about the sexbot phenomenon, with the skeptics focusing on the technical limitations (men make this argument) and the insistence that sexbots would not satisfy male sexual desire like real women would (women make this argument). It’s possible the technical hurdles to creating a sexually pleasing mechanical woman that could compete with real women might be too high, but assuming those hurdles are jumped, I offer the following future scenario.

A robot that is an exact replica of your favorite supermodel and that has feedback to sound and touch (for example, she’ll move her limbs and gyrate during sex as well as talk dirty and respond to commands) would supplant all other masturbation tools as the preferred method of getting off for men who can afford it. Once sexbots become affordable, internet porn consolidates to one or two websites for spank snobs who insist on “authenticity” and proles who must suffer the humiliation of not only being too poor to afford real women but fake ones as well. But, outside of self-pleasure and procreation, would sexbots replace real women?

For some men, yes. The replacement would be total, at least until the dating market adjusted to the new reality. For other men, sexbots would be a part-time replacement. The result will be a shift in the mating landscape that will put selection pressures on humanity equivalent to a massive plague or a catastrophic famine.

Sexbots are a very real threat to the established order because men’s sexuality is so visually driven. Compared to women, it is a rather simple affair to create an alternative sexual outlet for men. Think about romance novels which are the porn equivalent for women. It’s a mentally-taxing affair to write a book, even a trashy, plot-by-numbers one. But displaying photos of naked women for the consumption of men takes a few mindless seconds. Now imagine a Natalia Vodianova sexbot in every bachelor pad. The raw visual and tactile appeal of that will keep men holed up in their bedrooms for weeks straight.

Some of the changes I foresee:

Omegas (geeks, nerds, dweebs, trolls, dregs, dullards, bums, street filth, etc.) – will finally have a satisfying release for their pent-up horniness. Crime will likely drop as a result. So will rape. Widely available sexbots are analogous to cheap, legal prostitution, minus the STDs and needle tracks. On the whole I think it is a social good to distract the losers from their grinding misery. Since these guys weren’t getting laid anyway, availing themselves of sexbots won’t have much impact on the dating market. Sexbots could also be compassionate. Giving a homeless guy a sexbot will do more for his happiness than $5 for liquor or a sympathetic smile from a cute soup kitchen volunteer.

Betas (nice guys with a heart of gold and zero sex appeal) – the more frustrated betas will retreat from the dating scene to be with their sexbots. They’ll not opt out completely, though. Having a decent job and a willingness to help raise a family is still a form of buying power. I see sexbots for betas dissuading them from learning the art of seduction, thus making them even more ineffectual in the field as their already-meager skills atrophy. He might think to himself, “what’s the point of dealing with the frustrations and delayed gratification of dating mediocre looking women for subpar sex when I have a Rachel Weisz sexbot waiting at home for me?”A big negative feedback loop could result, where the lower status betas exercise their sexbot option with increasing regularity until they have excluded themselves completely from bothering with meeting women. This will open up room in the dating market for

Aspiring Alphas (betas who know a thing or two) – As low status betas and omegas retreat from the dating scene to be with their sexbots, aspiring alphas will be more in demand than ever. It’s a simple numbers game — more women for every man willing to expose himself to the whims of dating and rejection from real women means these men will have an easier time honing their game and achieving sexual satisfaction. Even a guy willing to put in minimal effort shaping up his game will find the pickings easy. The consequences? Less commitment, more casual sex, and more partners. Not to mention more first date anal. You can stop taking salsa classes now.

Alphas (guys who won’t have to martyr themselves for 72 virgins)–will reap a tremendous beaver bounty. The direct and indirect benefits of the sexbot revolution will flow to the alphas. The direct benefit? Although he is the guy who won’t need sexbots because he gets plenty of quality real ass for little investment, he will probably have a few in the closet for those times when his girlfriends have a collective headache. Plus, the off button is very appealing to the inveterate womanizer. The indirect benefit? More women vying for his seed. I predict that over time the smothering ego-boosting attentions of the fangirls will make the alpha soft, paving the way for lower ranking males to usurp his position in the bangarchy.

Ugly Women – drop out entirely.

Plain Women – put out on first dates.

Beautiful Women – choose harem initiation with a super alpha.

Marriage – uncertain. Either marriage will take a bodyblow from which it will never recover, or paradoxically divorce will decrease as husbands inclined to stray fulfill their cravings for variety with non-human mistresses. With the sequestering of betas to their sexbotatoriums, the price of alphas on the market will skyrocket. They will call the shots in matters of marriage — I see a regression to sanctioned polygamy and overt adultery. This will herald the end of Western civilization.

Love – The virus in the borg. Love may save the day. A man’s need for love will keep him in the game. But not in the same capacity. He’ll be roused to go on a few dates but he’ll feel no pressure to get laid and will probably have unrealistic expectations about what kind of women he deserves based on wistful comparisons with the hot robot he fornicates with daily. Ladies, if you think guys are selfish, egotistical pricks now, just wait until they start showing up to dates basked in the afterglow of sex with their Jessica Alba robots. It is going to take a lot more to win over a guy who is that sexually satisfied.

Conclusion – The entire market structure of dating will shift seismically in the direction of men becoming choosier and less willing to please and women becoming looser and more willing to please.

The basic premise I have outlined above rests on a simple observation — the more physically satisfying choices men have to sate their lust, the less needy they will be with women. And non-neediness translates into a slight downgrade in the asking price of single women. Because women are more loathe to settle than men, there will be a rush to the top as the dwindling number of acceptable male prospects commands the attentions of an ever-growing pool of women. Polygamy will rush in to fill the need.

SEXBOTS UPDATE

They’re coming. And sooner than you think.

A YouTube commenter writes:

the day humans will stop existing is just around a hundred years after the first realistic sex robot hits the market.

Unless reproduction is industrialized and severed from the mating market after the appearance of that first lifelike sexbot, this commenter is likely correct. Here is an older post about the probable ramifications of sexbots on human society and dating.

When sexbots become realistic enough to compete with attractive human women in the bedroom, then what you will essentially see is a sex ratio that is numerically skewed in favor of men. Basically, the world will become one giant liberal arts college campus. Men will stop running traditional game and instead run “present and accounted for” game.

9 TIPS & TRICKS

STRAY THOUGHTS ON THE NATURE OF THE GAME

Don’t answer all of a girl’s questions, especially when it feels like you are being interrogated. Refraining from giving her satisfactory answers helps move the seduction forward in two ways. One, it builds mystery. Two, if you answer all her questions she has more material with which to judge you when she gets home after the date and mulls everything over in her chaotic head. Don’t be surprised if you don’t get a call back after you have dutifully answered all her questions.

***

The best reason to learn game is that it is a shortcut to a woman’s pussy and heart. With game, you can stop wasting years as an empty vessel of society’s expectations scraping and clawing your way into a respectable bourgeois existence for your shot at one mediocre pussy and a gift registry at Williams & Sonoma. There is no need to become an “alpha among men” when you can skip the middleman and go straight to becoming an “alpha among women”. Of course, becoming an alpha among men is fun in its own right, but it’s no longer necessary to enjoy a life filled with the love of beautiful and sexy women. In fact, it never was necessary.

***

When the revelation that there is nothing after this life but the illimitable black void is grasped, hedonism is the only logical answer.

***

When a girl asks you “What are you thinking about right now?” know that this is code for “I’m really falling for you and want to know if you feel the same about me.” Don’t be an earnest beta and make the mistake of taking the bait! Avoid saying “I think I’m in love with you” or “I’m thinking about us” at all costs. Instead, say something like “I can’t think right now because you’ve paralyzed my thoughts.” Or, if you want to keep it simple, say “Um, nothing.”

Maxim #6: Never Make It Easy For A Girl

– Sometimes a girl will drop a stinky bait. Don’t bite! She wants to chase you around the lake forever.

***

Never tell a girl you are looking for a relationship. Many girls will ask, sometimes as early as the first date, what you are looking for from women. For the love of all that is holy and sacred do NOT say you are in the market for a relationship. Similarly, never say you wouldn’t mind “settling down”, or that you are discouraged by the dating scene, or you really wish you could stop dating around and find the right girl. It doesn’t matter if you truly feel this way; saying any of these out loud, especially to a girl you have just started dating, is poison to the seduction. Best to either ignore her probing question or answer vaguely along the lines of “I dunno, just dating until I find a girl I click with.” Also, saying “Whoa, not so fast tiger!” can be funny and stimulating to her vagina.

***

Slap your girl’s ass in public once in a while, hard. Territorial pissing is a turn-on in small spurts.

***

When you are with your girl and another alpha male is the center of attention (let’s say by being funny, or juggling balls) the best thing you can do is casually and briefly acknowledge his talents and otherwise ignore him. She will poke you for weakness whenever a bigger dog struts on the scene, so you’d be smart to be aware of this irrepressible female urge and not get defensive. NEVER imply that a bigger alpha is a threat to you, either in anger or in sarcastic putdown. You are who you are, which is the best she will ever have, so if some guy is a great karaoke singer and you’re offstage enjoying the show it’s no big deal — his skills cannot begin to compete with your total package, so you are free to compliment him without a hint of resentment.

Maxim #7: Your girl will thank you for your steadfast devotion to your belief in yourself.

***

When your girl buys you something or gets you a present, don’t immediately buy her something in return. No girl wants to feel like you got her a gift out of obligation. Tit for tat kills the sexy fun vibe. She appreciates your gifts when you are motivated by nothing else but your warm feelings for her. In this vein, it’s better to give her gifts at random times, rather than on birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays.

***

Speaking of gifts, the best players I know buy their girls NOTHING. And their girls love them with everything they have. Talk about trashing societal admonishments.

***

As a birthday gift for your girl, a grape seed oil massage beats a tennis bracelet EVERY TIME.

***

If you want to save money, doing things for a girl is always better than buying things for her. So, for example, learn photography and shoot sexy nude black and white photos of her. Or take her for a ride on a scooter through the countryside. She’ll appreciate that a lot more than a trendy item with a high price tag.

***

Fucking a girl right is worth more than a $20,000 engagement ring. I am not kidding.

MOTIVATION & PREGAME CR

Years ago when I was rooming in a big house with three other guys, I used to have this short motivational list, handed to me by a friend, taped to my closet door.

THE ONLY ADVICE YOU’LL EVER NEED

Chicks dig power.

Don’t date.

Never pay.

Play by your own rules.

He who hesitates masturbates.

Better to pursue lots of women until you find one willing to go all the way right away than to waste a month on a tease.

Women want to be seduced.

Hot sexy babes want to fuck someone… why not you?

This advice hasn’t stopped working for me.

***

Readers occasionally ask me what I was like before I learned game. Before Game. BG. Heh. I used to think there was a time Before Game in my life, but upon further reflection, maybe there never was. I’ll give you an example of what I mean. I was sifting through some mementos during a spring cleaning when I came across a handwritten note I had given to a girl back in the day before I ever knew what a neg was, or anything much about female nature at all.

I’ve always believed there was something special… uncorrupted… about girls I banged before the advent of game in my life. As if winning them over without the use of game and the crimson arts placed them on a higher pedestal than women who would later fall under my more calculated spell. I could look back fondly on those early years bangs and imagine I was “being myself” with those girls, and that the girls loved me for me. So when I found the note I had once long ago written to a girl who was more beautiful than I ever believed I could get, a wave of happy nostalgia and warm feelings for her washed over me. Here, now, in my hand, was proof that there are girls in the world who swoon for romantic, idealistic men. That the Hollywood love story really is possible! I read the note.

ROSES ARE RED

VIOLETS ARE BLUE

YOU’RE A CUTIE

BUT YOUR FEET ARE PEW!

Nope, turns out I was running game back then too, before I knew the power of the neg.

For the curious, she responded to my lovelorn poem on the back of the note.

“You, Nosey Parker, first, who asked you to smell my precious feet? Second, I won’t sink to describing all the smells abundant here!”

Later that evening we had the most amazing sex. She came three times.

OPPORTUNITY IS EVERYWHERE

Today we’ll accompany an average American, SWPL Six-pack, on his daily routine as he makes an effort to meet a number of attractive women that he sees.

It’s a Saturday. He gets up in the morning, showers, dresses and walks to the Starbucks down the block. While waiting at an intersection for the light to change, he notices an attractive girl standing next to him. He pivots to say something to her.

“I’ve got thirty seconds before the light changes to flirt with you. Ready?”

On the sidewalk in front of the Starbucks, he passes another attractive girl.

“Excuse me. Could you tell me where the nearest Starbucks is?”

In Starbucks, waiting in line, he speaks to the attractive girl standing ahead of him.

“Ever notice how fast the Starbucks baristas work in the morning? They must take a triple shot before their shift.”

Outside, holding his drink, he walks to the post office to drop off a letter. On the sidewalk an attractive girl walks toward him.

“Hi!”

At the post office, an attractive girl puts a letter in the mailbox.

“Be careful, that box sends all love letters to my address.”

Leaving the post office, he walks to a clothing store to make some purchases. On the walk over, nine attractive girls pass by him.

“Hi.”

“Hi!”

“Hi there.”

“Hey.”

“Good morning!”

“Excuse me. Where is the nearest dog grooming shop?”

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Hello!”

At the store, a girl hovers around the sunglass display.

“You’ll want sunglasses that hide which guys you’re checking out. Don’t worry, you don’t make me self-conscious.”

In the lingerie section, an attractive girl rifles through bras.

“I need to buy something for Mother’s Day. Too frilly?”

Back on the sidewalk, he stops at a street vendor to buy a warm pretzel. An attractive girl is there as well.

“I know this pretzel. I think this guy shops at Costco and marks up 1,000 percent.”

He goes home to get his frisbee. He plans to meet a friend at the local park. On the way home, five more attractive girls ping his visual field.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Hi!”

“Hi.”

“Happy Saturday!”

On the walk to the park, two more attractive girls. He pretends to throw the frisbee to them.

“Catch!”

“Catch! Ohh, too slow.”

At the park, he and his friend spend more time ogling the girls than tossing the frisbee. A throw goes astray and lands near the feet of an attractive girl.

“I had my buddy throw it near you on purpose. I’m smooooooth.”

After playing frisbee, he goes to dinner at a local cafe with his friend. An attractive girl serves them.

“I heard the waitresses here are good flirters. Ok, let’s see what you’ve got.”

Dinner ends, and his friend leaves. He goes to Whole Foods to pick up some smelly cheese and grass-fed beef for the week. On the walk to Whole Foods, three attractive girls and one incredibly ugly girl pass him.

“Hi.”

“Hi!”

“Hi.”

*silence*

Loitering in the cheese section, he notices one of his exes is there. He sidles up to an attractive girl rummaging through the assortment of goat cheeses.

“Hey, I just noticed my ex is here. Right over there. I’m going to ask you a favor. Pretend you’re flirting with me so I can make her jealous. I’ll return the favor by flirting back. Trust me, you’ll thank me.”

Back at home, cutting off a hunk of cheese and downloading new Yeah Yeah Yeahs music, he makes plans to hit the local social venue with his buddies. Once arrived, he orders drinks from the attractive girl bartender.

“Don’t think this means we have something going on.”

A few hours socializing and drinking, he has met and spoken with six attractive girls. Walking home later that night, he steps next to an attractive girl at an intersection.

“I like your hat. Very trendy right now.”

He goes home to sleep, a full day behind him.

***

The above did not actually happen. Or, more to the point, it is not an accurate depiction of a day in the life of the typical, average American man who wishes he could meet more women. The number of attractive girls he saw on that Saturday is realistic, but the number of those girls he spoke to is, woefully, not.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t have the wittiest opener, or the smoothest delivery. If you open your mouth and say something as benign as “Hi” to thirty-eight attractive girls on a single Saturday, you will have rocketed yourself ahead of 99% of men who passed by those same girls and said nothing. You would have brought yourself closer to sex with at least one of those girls that wouldn’t have been the case had you walked by them silently, cursing your inaction once the moment evaporated.

Now add in a little game. You’ve just hurdled 99.9% of men who pass by those girls without muttering a word on that typical, “boring” Saturday. Are you beginning to recognize just how powerful this stuff is?

Opportunity is everywhere for those with the eyes to see.

CURIOSITY, WOMEN AND GAME

Thursday left a link in the comments to this study showing that couples who do fun and exciting things together have happier marriages.

In a representative sample of long-term married couples in the United States (see Orbuch et al., 2002, for General Social Survey data comparisons), present boredom is positively correlated with a decrease in satisfaction 9 years in the future, an effect that appears to be due to boredom undermining closeness, which in turn undermines satisfaction. The effect size (b 5 ??.26) is quite dramatic considering that it predicted regressed change over 9 years and the sample includes only couples still together at year 16. (The 38 couples tested at year 7 who divorced by year 16 were nonsignificantly more bored at year 7 than the 123 couples who remained married.) Furthermore, all results were independent of relationship tension and conflicts. Previous cross- sectional surveys, hour-to-hour experience-sampling studies, and short-term experiments suggested such a pattern, but this is the first time it has been shown over a significant period of time and in a representative sample.

Mediation by closeness, which had not been directly tested before, integrates central aspects of the self-expansion model. Specifically, it suggests that excitement in relationships facilitates or makes salient closeness, which in turn promotes satisfaction in the long term. Indeed, closeness may promote satisfaction via other mechanisms known to be associated with promoting satisfaction over time, such as perceived partner responsiveness, transformation of motivation, commitment, communal norms, positive illusions, and trust.

Regarding application, these findings show directly, for the first time, that not only conflicts, but also simple boredom, can shape relationships over the long term. Given that short-term experiments demonstrate that couples can reduce boredom with shared exciting activities, the present findings suggest that benefits may be substantial and long lasting, for both husbands and wives and across racial groups—pointing to easy-to-implement potential additions to educational, marital preparation, and enrichment programs, and a possible supplementary tool for marital counselors. Thus, as has been found in many other do- mains, increasing rewards may matter as much or more than reducing costs; or, in more contemporary terms, it may be important to focus not just on eliminating negatives, but also on enhancing positives.

This study simply confirms what game practitioners already know: curiosity is a leading indicator of alphaness. Women are drawn to the curious man. Semantically substitute “passion” for “curiosity” and it becomes clearer why. A man satisfied with his little corner of the world is a boring man. Forget what women say about short men, or ugly men, or old men — the true tingle killer is boredom. A short, ugly, old man with genuine curiosity about the world and people around him can hit well out of his league.

Like most other personality traits, the distribution of curiosity is Gaussian. At one extreme are men like Roosh who are so curious about their place in the world they are willing to leave their homeland and careers to spend years in foreign countries with strange people who speak a strange language. At the other extreme are the semi-vegetative zombies and autistic cases who need an unchanging daily routine just to function. In the vast middle lie the average everyday incurious Joes… happy with their lives, content to clock in their eight hours, come home to a cold brew, a warm dinner and a kiss from the wife, and occasionally take the family sightseeing in the countryside. Oh, and once in a while go crazy and try a new brand of beer.

Curiosity can exist along many metrics. Travel isn’t the only sign of a curious mind. A man who reads voraciously from all sorts of genres is more curious than the average man. And a well-read man, like a well-traveled man, will have a leg up on the competition when building rapport with a woman.

A lot of so-called alpha haters come to this board to bitch about how “true alphas” wouldn’t go out of their way to learn how to attract women. The common refrain is usually “A real alpha doesn’t worry what women think. He does his own thing.” But the fact is, we are all working hard to satisfy the requirements of the opposite sex, whether or not we consciously acknowledge it or are even aware of what we are doing. A “natural” is simply a man who has been following the precepts of game from an earlier age than most men, and therefore it is a deeper component of his psychology. Likewise, a naturally curious man who has never known what it is like to be incurious will do better with women than less curious men.

People who neglect to shape themselves into the ideal attractiveness archetype demanded by the opposite sex soon lose out to competitors who do. A wife who lets herself go is demonstrating by her actions that she doesn’t care about her husband’s desires. He will soon look elsewhere for pleasure and love. Similarly, and apropos the above study, a husband who stops taking his wife on interesting adventures demonstrates he doesn’t care about her desires. She, too, will then be inclined to wander. Naturally, not every man can reach Rooshian levels of curiosity; or at least, they can’t reach it without significant discomfort to their psyches. To expect otherwise is to assume the average man can alter his personality wholesale for the length of his life. Game requires no such psychological contortions from men. A simple and minor adjustment in the typical man’s curiosity quotient is usually enough to increase his attractiveness to women tenfold.

My advice to the naturally incurious man is as follows:

Find an equally incurious girl (there are more incurious girls than there are incurious men as sociosexuality science would predict, so this shouldn’t be too hard). A woman whose basal inertia level is lackadaisically low will not demand more than a token sign of inquisitiveness from her man. She will be satisfied with small changes to her routine.

Make an effort to push yourself out of your incurious comfort zone. This means focusing your mind on doing something out of the ordinary once in a while. For instance, instead of taking your girl out to dinner next Saturday like every other herbling, go indoor rock climbing with her. The ensuing rush (kept in check by safety ropes and belays) is nature’s perfect vaginal lube.

Learn to LISTEN. Women LOVE LOVELOVE men who actually listen to them. Listening intently to a woman will make you seem like a curious man, and is especially worthwhile as it gives you valuable information to tailor your game. Note that listening is not quite the same thing as paying strict attention. It’s perfectly acceptable to nod your head and mutter a few uh huhs while she speaks as your mind drifts to wondering about the size of her areolae, as long as you commit to memory at least a couple of her points. You only need to remember a few key words with which to feed back to a girl to wow her as a man who “gets it”.

Do new things if for no other reason than that it will give you material to use during a pickup. Having trouble telling engaging stories to girls? That’s your subconscious telling you that you need a vacation to a place you haven’t yet visited.

Be unpredictable. Unpredictability can make a day trip to the beach seem like a fantastic getaway to a remote fantasy island. A surprise trip once every couple of months will be enough to keep the average vagina tingly and loyal.

Curiosity is win-win for men. You do fun, exciting things, and women become more attracted to you because of it. All it takes is a push off the couch. Given that most men can’t even manage that (“Game’s on, baby. Not now.”), a push off the couch automatically puts you ahead of the vast swath of men who secretly bore their girlfriends and wives.

But there is a downside. Women who are searching for a monogamous relationship should know that highly curious men are also curious about the opposite sex. Like most attractiveness traits that a woman admires in a man, her strongest desire is for that which can potentially hurt her.

MY PERSONAL PICKUP OPENERS

A while ago, I brainstormed a list of indirect openers and conversation starters to use for cold approaches. Some of these are originals, some are reworkings of popular openers already in circulation in the pickup community. For a time, I actually kept this as a cheat sheet in my back pocket to assist during those rare moments my mind was a complete blank and I could think of nothing to say. I would guess I use “canned” openers on 10% of my approaches. I prefer situational openers, where I jive about whatever happens to be going on around us. But sometimes canned material is very helpful to ease the way for you to get out of a slump or as a temporary substitute for weak natural game.

Note: These are NOT “pickup lines”. They won’t make a girl automatically attracted to you, and they aren’t examples of direct game. They’re simply interesting or amusing things to talk about that get girls intrigued and invested in a conversation with you. They also raise your value by making you sound more interesting to girls than 99% of guys out there.

Most of the ones below fall under the category of opinion opener, which I’ve found are more effective as something you say right after you’ve broken the ice with a casual greeting.

The best way to use these lines is to anchor them to a back story, otherwise you risk sounding creepy if you crash a set blurting them out machine gun style. For instance, I might say “My buddy over there just broke up with his girlfriend and I’ve been spending the night consoling him. She was just way too jealous of him. Do you think guys or girls get jealous more easily?”

***

How would you react if your boyfriend gave you an ultimatum?

Why do girls check out other girls more than they check out guys?

There are people who analyze walks and can tell what mood you’re in, what you’re thinking, and even what you do for a living.

- great for steering a conversation in many different directions.

You look like the type who would date a starving artist, but marry a doctor.

- this one has been very good to me because it is part opener, part neg.

Let’s say you were dating this guy for a while, fell in love with him, and found out months later that he was broke. Would you break up with him?

- also one of my favorites. anything that hints at the core nature of women elicits strong reactions.

Were you nervous the first time you tried on a bikini? My buddy said he was nervous when he first tried on a suit. -OR- My ex said she was nervous the first time she wore 5 inch stiletto heels.

- a conversation builder like this is highly context dependent. use with caution.

There was a study done recently that said that beautiful couples have more daughters and nerdy couples have more sons. Would you say your parents were beautiful or nerdy?

Who can keep a secret longer — guys or girls?

- simple. direct. easy to remember. make sure to anchor it if this is your opener.

Are the best lovers made or born?

- not recommended as an opener. better as banter material.

You guys are in the power position. Yeah, tight circle, backs to everyone, like a football huddle. No guy is gonna get through your defenses. But how would you stand if one of you… let’s say her (motion toward your target)… really wanted to be approached by a cool guy?

- if you like to approach sets boldly, this one is for you.

If a guy needs to buy some stylish clothes is it better for him to take along a girlfriend or a girl buddy for fashion tips? What about a gay friend?

Who has better fashion sense — girls or gay guys?

- any mention of the word “gay” is like the all-purpose social lubricant.

You look like the type of girl who would leave a club if another girl was wearing the same shirt.

- this one is a risky opener gambit. use on stuck up chicks who need to be brought down off their pedestals they have constructed on the backs of fawning betas.

I’ve read that men get more jealous from sexual infidelity and women get more jealous from love infidelity. Which one bothers you more?

- better in low key environments with smarter prospects. drunk club sluts won’t get what you’re saying.

Do you guys believe in reincarnation? If it were true, what kind of person do you think you’d be in your next life? You (point at potential cockblock)… you look like you’d be a CEO in your next life… and you (point at target), a ballet geek!

- now THIS is good for the clubs. it’s an opener that lets you yell above the noise, and it contains one of those key words – reincarnation – that instantly pricks a girl’s attention.

BONUS

This one is not an original by me but I have used it with great results. It’s an example of direct game.

You: [striding confidently into the set] Do you know why you girls suck?

Girls: [looking at each other incredulously, but expectantly]

You: Because I’ve been standing over there for ten minutes and you haven’t come over to say Hi. I mean, I can tell you’d like to, you keep giving me the eye.

***

Try these at your leisure. Anyone scoring a lay off them will be written about in a later post on my blog, and your deeds will be sung by the bards for generations.

A SHORT LIST OF STREET OPENERS

In the post about indirect vs direct street game, a discussion among the commentariat ensued which included many useful opening gambits for approaching girls on the street, in the day time. Here are the best ones. Some of these are direct (aka bold), some indirect (aka situational), some “indirect-direct” (aka flirting).

“Excuse me, I have to get to a meeting that’s going to change my life, but I think you’re gonna change it, too. Let me have your number, I’ll call you later and we’ll see if I’m right.”

***

I have a friend who brings his dog to the bar. Inevitably, girls come up, start playing with the dog, and say, “He’s so cute!”

What does he say?

“I don’t think he likes you.”

***

“It’s not really polite to stare at people like that.”

***

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to hit on you. Damnit, this is the last thing I needed today.”

***

“Excuse me, may I tell you something?”

Don’t wait for answer. “You were walking by just there with a reeeeeally serious expression on your face.”

***

“YOU. Who ARE you?” (breaking rapport (accusing) tone, as if she’s not supposed to be there doing whatever she’s doing)

“Oh, uhh, I’m Sally?”

“Well Sally, I saw you from across the room and had to come say hello. I think we’re going to have to have a million babies together.”

“omg lol umm no thanks lol”

“Alright, then we’ll start with coffee instead.”

***

“Hey, how do I get to Place?”

“oh, umm I think it’s 2 blocks that way and then turn–”

“lol I don’t actually need directions. I just thought you were cute and wanted to come flirt with you. Who are you?”

“omg lol ummm Sally omg”

“I haven’t seen you around here before Sally, you must be (cold read, teasing, etc.)”

***

“Hey, how do I get to Place?”

“oh, umm I think it’s 2 blocks that way and then turn–”

“It sounds like you’re just making that up.” (accusation/teasing)

“lol no I just–”

“If you don’t know, you can just say so. Why are you messing with poor lost strangers who just need help? You MONSTER.” (teasing, accusing, cold-reading)

“omg!! lol no I’m not I was–”

“No, it’s too late, I hate you now. But I’m willing to let you make it up to me over drinks sometime. You free this weekend?” (push/pull, pushing for the close)

“well I have a boyfriend!”

“That’s okay. We’ll invite him too. Then you can give him made up directions so he gets lost and we can keep flirting.” (pushing for the close)

“omg well we’re getting married…”

“Not after we have drinks you won’t be.” (pushing for the close)
etc.

***

YOU: “How tough are the cops in this city on jaywalkers? I’ve got a long jaywalking rap sheet. Can’t afford another bust.”

HER: laughs, smirks, whatever.

YOU: “When I was in [foreign country], no one jaywalked, even when the coast was clear.”

***

As long as you’re consistently moving forward towards a direct place I think [indirect] is fine.

On a side note, If I stop a girl.. I will say something like “Excuse me…” just to measure her initial level of receptiveness. If she is smiling and seems open, direct works well since she is in a good mood.

If she looks at me in a more formal manner, or like she does not really want to talk, I would go indirect.

***

“I know this is going to sound totally random and crazy, and you probably get this from guys all the time, but… [huge pause]…what time is it?”

**********

Postscript

I hate writing these types of posts because they invariably summon the dummy pantywaist hordes of “dur dur say this magic line and HB10000000s will fall in your lap” anti-gamers who never met a nuance they didn’t reconstruct into an elaborate strawman. So to head off a steamroller of stupidity, I’ll clarify a few things for them.

1. None of these lines will magically cause a woman to have sex with you. Game doesn’t work that way, despite the haters’ and femcunts’ best efforts to caricature it as such. Game is a process. It’s a fluid strategy that employs many tactics to reach the goals of sex, love or sexlovesugarmarriage.

2. Lines like these are effective because they are better than the usual boring drivel and clumsy chit chat that most men resort to when meeting women they find attractive. A girl who hears these lines as opposed to, say, “Do you live around here?”, will be more intrigued than she otherwise would be. And a woman’s intrigue is a necessary precondition to her wanting sex with you.

3. A quasi-canned, ready-to-spit opener, or opener routine, encourages men to talk to women. 99% of potential approaches never materialize because the guy thinks to himself “Damn, I have nothing to say”. Sound familiar? Having a few interesting openers in your head removes that excuse from your self-defeatism repertoire. Now you have something to say. And you’ll feel that weight of hopelessness miraculously lift off your shoulders.

FLIRTY QUIPS TO FEMALE SMALL TALK

Surprisingly few men know how to flirt. (It’s surprising because, given the importance of flirting to evoking a feeling of incipient sexual release in a girl’s mind, you’d think evolution would have ensured a lot more men are skilled at the craft. I consider the absence of widely distributed flirting skills, particularly among northern Europeans and Asians, to be evidence that for much of mankind’s ancestral past the sex ratio was skewed enough in the typical man’s favor that he didn’t need to learn how to appeal to women’s romantic needs.)

But I digress. When girls ask simple questions, or when they engage in innocuous chit chat, it’s in your interest as a lover of positive, sexualized female attention to answer them in a flirty way. Training yourself to parry female small talk with unexpected flirtatious jousts is, at the least, great for honing your game, even when it doesn’t lead to a bang.

Here are some examples of what I’m talking about. I routinely employ these quips in my daily life anytime I hear an opening in some banal conversation that I happen to be having with a girl. These examples aren’t meant to be lifted verbatim, (although you may do that), but rather to serve as illustration of the type of mindset you should have whenever you interact with women. (Warning: do not use on fat chicks. They may get the wrong idea.)

GIRL: “What time is it?”

A good time.

GIRL: “You came in late today.”

Hard drug use.

GIRL: “Which way is it to [X]?”

You don’t seem like the kind of girl who’d go there.

GIRL: “How are you?”

Irresistible.

GIRL: “Could you watch my laptop for me for a minute?”

Ok, but close your porn windows first. I have a reputation.

GIRL: “What’d you think of [movie X]?”

All right… ready to hang on my every word?

GIRL: “Are you going to [X’s] party this Friday?”

Yes. You can be happy now.

GIRL: “What do you do?”

You didn’t just ask that.

GIRL: [in an elevator] “Could you press 4?”

This is just like in the movies!

GIRL: “My shift is ending soon. Can I close you out?”

Your flirting skills need work.

GIRL: “I think the coffee machine’s broken.”

Tried to put vodka in it again, didn’t ya?

GIRL: “Where’s your car?”

Tijuana.

GIRL: “That sounds like a good idea.”

Hey, it’s me!

GIRL: “It’s a really nice day today.”

Thanks!

GIRL: “That’s a cool hat.”

Flattery will get you everywhere.

GIRL: “Are you waiting in line?”

I’d better be. Otherwise I’m standing around looking good for nothing.

GIRL: “That’ll be $69.75.”

I bet you say that to all the guys.

Just kidding about that last one. Sort of.

Flirting with women ties into the whole alpha male philosophy of not taking girls seriously. Treating women’s idle politeness like a sounding board for you to amp up the sexual tension and remind your quarry that you are a highly libidinous, fleshy extension of your turgid cock is good for establishing proper and healthy male-female relations.

When you are flippant with women, they sense that you think you are better than them, and that turns them on. Women love a man who is better than them, but they will accept as a substitute a man who simply thinks he is better than them.

DRIVE-BY TEASES

An often unremarked (partly because it goes against the reigning feminist narrative) structural unfairness between the sexes is the amount of effort the average man has to put into dating and relationships to keep them going, compared to the feeble efforts women usually expend on dating momentum and relationship management. The fact is that men (without game) *do* have to commit more energy to courtship and relationships because young, fertile women are the sex in higher demand. Women have to do all of not messing up their looks. (The effort to apply make-up and buy stylish, sexy clothes is nothing compared to the psychological, provisioning and logistical efforts men bring to the table.)

But as we here at the Chateau are fond of saying: life is unfair. Get used to it. Double standards exist and aren’t going anywhere because many of them are emergent properties of fixed, innate sex-based characteristics. Men have no more moral basis to bitch about dating energy expenditure than do women about slut shaming.

But thanks to the wonders of game, men can limit their relationship energy requirements while maximizing the impact each unit of spent energy has on women’s interest levels. In layman’s terms, men can easily spice up relationships (and dates) with almost no effort by employing the drive-by tease. Examples:

Flush the toilet when she’s in the shower.

Snap wet towel at her butt. (Should just barely cross line of genuine pain.)

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” [give her a wrapped box of condoms]

Put a “pinch my butt” post-it note on her back as she’s heading out for work.

Slip her car into neutral when she’s driving. (Note: not recommended on women with exceptionally bad driving skills.)

Turn the light off or unplug her dryer when she’s doing her hair.

Pretend to throw her cat out the window. (A full throwing motion accompanied by frantic mewing will boost dramatic effect.)

Never miss a chance to turn a serious question into a glib answer.

Pretend to accidentally cut off your finger in the kitchen. (Use gobs of ketchup.)

Replace her cosmetics with crayons.

Put her panties on her cat (Don’t put them on the dog if the dog is yours. There are some lines not meant to be crossed.)

Draw smiley faces or penises on her tampons.

Paint a picture of her. With great fanfare, unveil a stick figure drawing.

Pull weeds from the yard. Put them in a vase with a sincere love note attached. (Act offended if she doesn’t swoon for your weeds. Keep up the pretense for weeks.)

Place a giant stuffed animal or clown doll in bed, facing her. When she wakes up, she’ll freak.

Walk around casually at home with your dick hanging out of your jeans crotch. Call her a perv for noticing.

Turn her shirts inside out.

Put a Baby Ruth in her shoe. “Omg, I think the cat pooped in your shoe.”

Dutch oven. Shower oven. Car oven.

Honk her tits. Make loud honking noise. Bonus points if you use an air horn.

The drive-by tease is, typically, the non-verbal equivalent of the cocky/funny neg. More elaborate forms qualify as pranks. The DBT subliminally asserts male dominance as well as creativity, both of which are catnip to women. Dominance assertion is telegraphed in any act where the subtext is “I don’t care if you’re offended by this.” Girls like men who don’t walk on eggshells around them. But why?, you ask. Well, because men like that are interpreted by women to have options, that is, a take it or leave it attitude toward women. And a man who can walk away without much fuss is a desirable man. That doesn’t sound very romantic, but in practice when you act like this type of man your life will feel romantic as you are showered with women’s loving romantic love bombs.

‘I HAVE A BOYFRIEND’ RESPONSES

Since the question of how to respond to the ubiquitous “I have a boyfriend” female shit test comes up a lot here, I’ve decided to put together what I think are the best answers a man can give in return. These answers were gleaned from commenters, from pickup forums, and from my own posts on the subject.

“I don’t care.”

One of my favorites. Best used on ultrafem girls who yearn to submit to a very psychologically dominant man. See: Asians, sorostitutes, bloggerchicks.

“That’s OK, I’m not the jealous type.”

Replies to “IHAB” fall into two major categories — qualifying and disqualifying. A disqualifying reply is one where you shame the girl for even bringing the subject up, since she has no chance with you anyhow. A disqualifier is ideally used on superflirts and other varieties of cockteasers, because it fucks with their expectations.

A qualifying reply is one where you brush off the boyfriend objection, but do so in a humorous way that implies she has met your conditions for being bang-worthy and that you would sleep with her given the chance. The line above is an example of a qualifying reply — you would have sex with her and she needn’t worry that you would judge her for that. A qualifier is ideally used on girls who are attracted to you and want to sleep with you, but either have a boyfriend for real they want to step out on, or don’t have a boyfriend but say so anyhow because they are feeling slutty or anxious that sex might actually happen. Sometimes girls just blurt IHABs without even thinking, like they often do with any kind of shit test.

Note: If the girl drops an IHAB from the moment you start talking to her, it is likely she is rejecting you. IHAB is very context and time dependent; don’t bother with any of these lines if she hits you with an IHAB soon after you introduce yourself. These IHAB killers are meant for girls who are receptive to your gaming or are otherwise actively flirting with you.

Girl: “I have a boyfriend…..”

Man: “Wow…. Amazing…seriously, that’s amazing!”

Girl: “What? That I have a boyfriend?”

Man: “No, that I’ve barely known you for 5 minutes and you’re already telling me your problems.”

Girl: “lmao!”

The above line was cribbed from a commenter over at Roosh’s pickup forum. It’s a type of disqualifier; one I would happily use on attention whores who love men bowing and scraping before their almighty bloated egos.

“Whoa, not so fast. We’re just talking here, ok? Don’t get the wrong idea.”

Another strong disqualifier. Flips the script. This is the line I should have used on Superflirt when she hit me with her repeated IHABs.

“You really thought I was hitting on you?”

An even stronger disqualifier. The hotter the chick, the stronger her expectation that you are trying to bed her. Very powerful disqualifiers will often scare away or piss off lesser girls, but the hot babes lap it up like hungry kittens. Use with caution.

“No worries. You’re not my type.”

Tamer version of above. Opens the door for further conversation.

“So does my girlfriend.”

Short, sweet and funny. Categorized as a qualifying reply — you’re not dismissing her as a sex prospect. Hints at preselection. Use on girls who want to sleep with you already but have to rationalize their way to it. Don’t use on drunk girls; it’ll take them too long to get it. I tried this on Superflirt and she just tilted her head and stared blankly at me for a few seconds. Don’t use on evangelical church girls, either; they might take it at face value.

Girl: “I have a boyfriend.”

Man: “Hey, my dog can juggle.”

Girl: “What?”

Man: “I’m sorry, I thought we were talking about shit that didn’t matter.”

This is a qualifying IHAB killer. You are implying you have designs to bang her, and are mocking her IHAB for the adorable little whiny objection it is. (The hidden subtext is “Let’s get back to seducing each other.”) A bit too clever by half for my taste; could work well on hard-charging lawyer cunts with high Wordsum scores.

“Annnnd… so?”

Same type as above, but shorter and easier to remember.

“Good job!”

A variant of “I don’t care.” Some guys prefer to plow through an IHAB by either ignoring it or contemptuously dismissing it.

“Your parents must be proud.”

Same as above.

“Oh man, I’m so embarrassed. I thought you were a lesbian.”

HUGE disqualifying neg. Use on histrionic club sluts. Don’t expect this to work more than 20% of the time; just enjoy the smile it puts on your face.

“Are you allowed to talk to other men without his permission?”

Puts the girl on the defensive. This is a risky line. Some girls may react poorly to it, while others immediately qualify themselves to you.

Ignore the IHAB

Plow, baby, plow! Caveman game. She’s so cute when she’s disingenuously objecting to you conking her over the head and dragging her into the brush for a rogering.

You’ll notice a pattern here; I prefer short answers to IHAB rather than long-winded, witty replies. A rule of thumb: wordiness is beta, succinctness is alpha. This is a broad generalization with plenty of exceptions, so don’t get too hung up on it. Just try and keep your texts, phone messages, and parts of your early and end game on the laconic side. Rapport and DHVing obviously will require the use of more than a few pithy quips.

You’ll also notice which IHAB replies are conspicuously missing from the list. I don’t like classic PUA IHAB destroyers such as

“Hey, no problem, you can bring him along on our date.”

or

“Cool, he can buy the first round.”

I’ve never liked these. They make the man sound like he’s forcing the issue. And they’re cheesy.

Perhaps a better way to handle the IHAB is to avoid it altogether. Preempt it by not giving the girl any reason to bring it up in the first place. An example of a preemptive IHAB blaster is “Are you single?” Upside: very effective neutralizing and filtering tactic. Downside: she might not have been planning to mention a boyfriend at all.

TWO WORDS WOMEN LOVE TO HEAR

I was speaking with a woman of considerable savviness in matters of male-female socializing. I wanted to know how to deal with a situation that required tip-toeing the line between candor and deceit. This is the advice she gave me.

ME: So this girl that I think is cute asks me if the girl she saw me with is my girlfriend. I don’t want to say yes and risk blowing my chances out of the water. I don’t want to say no, either, because I know women are more attracted to men when those men are getting love from other women. And a “no” would have been a lie, anyhow. So I was thinking about saying something close to the truth that also leaves the door open for continued flirting and possible future hooking up. Something along the lines of, “Well, we’re going through a rough patch now. Hard to say how it will turn out. We’re discussing a trial separation.”

GIRL BUDDY: Ugh, no.

ME: Why?

GIRL BUDDY: Too much explaining. By the time you’re finished with that I’m thinking “Wow, sorry I asked!”

ME: You got something better?

GIRL BUDDY: Just say, “It’s complicated.”

ME: “It’s complicated.” And that’s it?

GIRL BUDDY: That’s all you need. When a girl hears “it’s complicated”, she gets inside her head guessing about what you mean. That’s the place you want her to be if you want a shot with her.

ME: What if she follows up by asking me what I mean?

GIRL BUDDY: She won’t. Most girls understand that “it’s complicated” is code for “don’t ask me any more questions about it”. And you know girls love mystery, so they’re not going to ruin a good mystery by trying to solve it.

~~~

So there you go gentlemen. “It’s complicated.” Commit it to memory and deploy liberally. With some field practice, I’ve discovered that “it’s complicated” can serve as a useful stand-in for all sorts of scenarios you may find yourself in with a girl. It’s a go-to answer for all kinds of questions, not just the ones pertaining to your relationship status.

GIRL: So are you dating anyone right now?

YOU: It’s complicated.

***

GIRL: Just how many girls have you been with?

YOU: It’s complicated.

***

GIRL: What are you looking for?

YOU: It’s complicated.

***

GIRL: Will you buy me a drink?

YOU: It’s complicated.

***

GIRL: You’re not going to try to stick it in my ass tonight, are you?

YOU: It’s complicated.

GIRL: *swoon*

STATEMENTS THAT IMPLY YOUR HIGHER VALUE

“You’re very brave to come over to talk with me.”

“Your flirting is charming.”

“As we’re sitting here talking I can tell you seem really happy.”

“Wow! Don’t get too excited.” [Note: Not to be used sarcastically. That would be signaling lower value.]

“Hmm. Your hands are shaking.” [Doesn’t matter if they’re not shaking. Use as part of palm reading routine.]

“Hope I didn’t make you wait too long.” [Say after returning much later from talking with friends.]

“Your answers tell me that you are drawn to men who break your heart.” [Use as part of love test routine.]

“You have a… different… sense of humor/sense of style/way of looking at the world.”

“You have a quirky personality. I have a friend — he’s been single a while; I guess he’s picky — who would totally get you.”

“You’re not like most women. You seem like you want to know about me more than you want to talk about yourself.”

“Your eyes are dancing.”

“I have a confession to make. I forgot your name.” [You should say this to every girl at some point during the initial meet, regardless whether you remember her name. I have yet to experience a bad reaction from a girl when I said this.]

“A lot of girls in this city come on too strong with men. I’m glad you can talk with me without getting weird.”

“This is a pleasant surprise. You’re winning me over.”

Saying any of these things to a girl during the course of a pickup will artfully communicate your higher status relative to hers, which will in turn prepare her body for copulation.

PS: Try to use the word “girls” for women, and “men” for men, in your daily conversation.

CHEAP AND EASY WAYS TO RAISE YOUR VALUE TO A GIRL

Don’t call back right away. Done properly, you will start to hear girls say things like “I didn’t hear back from you. You were making me nervous!”

Never buy better gifts for her than the gifts she buys for you. (Occasionally, you will want to buy her a gift, you cheap fuck.)

Dress better than her on random, uneventful days. “Wow, you look spiffy today. What’s this for?”

Take frequent leaves of absence. Preferably international.

Drag your feet about introducing her to your friends and family. Just keep saying “Someday.” Your delaying tactic will earn bonus points if she has already introduced you to her friends and family.

Never give her spare keys to your place.

Don’t live together. It’s much harder to project mystery living under the same roof, watching each other fold laundry every week. (Not to mention side action will be more difficult to coordinate.)

Subtly acknowledge other girls flirting with you when you are out with her. An eye lock usually does the trick.

Don’t ask questions about her. (“Aren’t you going to ask how my trip went?”) A high value man does not find the lives of others very interesting in comparison to his own.

Get drunk without her.

Cancel dates. (Make the reason seem apparently legitimate, but suspicious.)

Show flashes of anger. She has to know you will never be a doormat.

Occasionally be emotionally distant. She has to think you mull the idea of leaving her.

Muse wistfully about past lovers.

Never take her on dinner dates before you’ve had sex with her.

Never agree to meet her friends before you’ve had sex with her.

Never spend more than the price of a few high alcohol content drinks on her before you’ve had sex with her.

Never do her a favor before you’ve had sex with her.

Always try to get her to do you a favor before you’ve had sex with her. (Compliance tests. These are the male version of shit tests.)

Never introduce her to anyone you know before you’ve had sex with her, unless its former hot girlfriends or friends who happen to be hot girls. (Exception: If you have a known player buddy for a friend, make sure she sees you hanging out with him. This way, in the future, every time you mention you are having a beer with him, her hamster will run the wheel off its axel.)

When you receive texts and phone calls in her company, never tell her who they’re from. If she asks, scold her for being a creepy eavesdropper.

Never laugh at her jokes, even when they’re funny. If you must, chuckle under your breath.

Password protect EVERYTHING.

Do not have a Facebook profile. If you do, it is filled with pics of you and an assortment of hot chicks. No exceptions.

On the morning of a first or second date with her, send her this cryptic text message: “Change of plans.” If she responds, do not reply. Give her the gift of fretting all afternoon. Two hours before the scheduled date time, text her again: “Meeting at [bar B] instead of [bar A].” She will breathe a huge sigh of relief. If on the off chance she says she made other plans, don’t reply. The goal of nearly every communicative interaction with women in the early stages of courtship is to keep their hamster spinning as much as possible.

When at her place, eat all her food, leave the seat up, change her TV channels, and torture her cat. Act like it’s your second home.

Do all of the above and you will be able to date women one to three points higher than you could be expected to get by societal standards. Do these to a girlfriend and you will be a god to her. A god among penii.

When she sees you as a god, she is:

less likely to stray

more likely to do anal

less likely to bitch and moan

more likely to wear lingerie every day of the week

less likely to dump or divorce you

more likely to forgive your cheating

less likely to make demands of you

more likely to cater to your needs.

Does that sound good to you? Yes? Then get to artificially pumping up your status! Years of sacrifice in academia and the corporate world not needed.

RAISING YOUR VALUE BY TELLING WOMEN YOU HAVE STALKERS

Preselection comes in many flavors. The most direct way to spoof your attractiveness to women is to be seen in the company of beautiful women. Of course, if you can do that, you’re not really spoofing anything, unless the women are friends you are using as pawns to pick up other women.

Another form of preselection involves embedding references to women in your life in stories you tell about yourself. This is the classic DHV — demonstration of higher value — that is well-known in the game community.

A third way to hit those primitive preselection buttons all women have buried in their limbic systems is to allude to competitor women who are attracted to you, but to do so in such a way that you give yourself cover from the perception that you are bragging. This can be done by framing the preselection reference in a negative light.

Letting women know, either directly or indirectly, that you have female stalkers is a huge DHV. This is particularly true if the girl you are picking up sees evidence of your stalkers. Now you might think that women would be suspicious of, or at least uncertain about, a man who has stalkers. They might wonder how badly he breaks hearts that he would accrue desperate, clingy stalkers.

Turn off your logical male brain for a minute and marvel at the reality that is the unflappable female head hamster. In truth, stalkers are a massive status boost for any man, unless the stalker is morbidly obese or old. A man who has acquired stalkers who fell so deeply in love with him or were so smitten by his charms that they lost all self-control and threw dignity to the wind in a futile pursuit to be back in his life, is a man who has otherworldly powers of attraction over women.

Casually remark to a new woman about your stalkers and she will subconsciously perceive you in a sexier light. You do this by furrowing your brow, frowning, and heavily sighing about the poor girl with emotional issues who can’t leave you alone. Double pickup points if you mention you have had to get a restraining order.

Why should stalkers be a DHV? One big reason: Most stalkers are men. Stalking is predominantly a male digression. So when a woman defies her evolutionary programming to behave as the more valuable sex and instead becomes a stalker, you know the man with whom she can’t extricate herself is one charming motherfucker. And other women know this, too. A man with stalkers is a proven hot commodity.

A man who is successful with women will find it difficult to glide through life without any stalker exes or infatuations. If you run any game at all you won’t be able to go five years without at least one or two girls aggressively making fools of themselves to be with you or to spite you for breaking their hearts.

THE SUBTLE ART OF THE INSIDIOUS NEG

In-her-face negs are really only suited for very hot girls (8s and above) who think too much of themselves, work in a sex field (stripper, pharmaceutical sales rep), are ovulating, or are in a social context such as a club where they are primed for flirty banter. The rest of the time, your negs should be crafted in such a manner that they deliver their payload with sneaky plausible deniability, like a homing missile launched from a hidden bunker aimed at the soft chewy center of her ego. The best negs are those which are conceivably meant as compliments, but which linger in her psyche for hours afterward, undermining her self-conception and encouraging her to qualify herself to you.

I’ll give you an example of what I mean. I was at a party talking with a girl, a cute 7.5, and I mentioned offhandedly (or so it seemed to her, for little I do or say isn’t calculated to maximize my personal advantage) that she seemed really modest. (My assessment wasn’t wholly without merit, judging by her clothes and shy demeanor. Another defining feature of the best negs are that they have the ring of truth to them.)

Naturally, and predictably, she, being a member in good standing of the SWPL industrial complex where modesty is considered a character flaw, balked at this. “Modest? You think that? What do you mean by that?”

I ignored the first importuning, but by the second I had to address her metastasizing concern.

“Modesty is a lost art. It’s not a bad thing… usually. Not everyone feels a need to be an exhibitionist.”

You’ll note three things in my response. One, I didn’t back off from my initial assertion. Nothing kills tingles faster than defensiveness or apologia. Two, I continued the ruse under the assumption that my insidious neg was actually a compliment. Three, I added the qualifier “usually” as a means of keeping her hamster in full throttle spin mode.

I see a lot of guys throwing out community-approved negs on 6s, 7s and sometimes 8s like they are jokey zingers, and the result is often bad, as the girl turns on him or slinks away to find better company. No wonder; their technique carries the whiff of insult, which under normal circumstances with normal cute girls will backfire. (Very hot girls who crave assholes tend to better channel direct insults straight to their vagina region.)

The neg is, as Mystery used to implore, almost a hidden code within the larger conversational framework. It’s supposed to be perceived as a throwaway line of sincere and innocent intent that serves two purposes: one, it disqualifies you to sexy babes who start on the assumption that you’re just another joe schmoe who wants in their pants, and two, it infiltrates a girl’s subconscious so that she spends more mental energy analyzing her worth than she does analyzing yours.

Negs often can be as simple as one-word descriptions that are as easily interpreted as unflattering observations as they are as compliments; and therein lies their effectiveness. No need to memorize one-liners. All you have to have at your disposal is a handy list of vital and penetrating adjectives that cause a click and a whirring in the female limbic system. To wit:

modest.

strict.

humble.

wallflower.

unassuming.

strait-laced.

serious.

responsible.

responsible one.

introverted.

conservative.

upright.

polite.

proper.

good person.

moral.

respectable.

hard-headed.

nonconformist.

don’t care about other people’s opinions.

fastidious.

overeager.

excited to be here.

innocent.

out of her element.

guarded.

social butterfly.

above it all.

queen bee.

march to her own drummer.

individualist.

social/fashion/party maven.

netflix kind of girl.

calm.

low-key.

put up a facade for the crowd.

judgmental.

keep to herself.

energized by the scene.

natural performer.

happiest person here.

brooding.

good friend qualities.

easy to approach.

careful.

tentative.

You’ll also note that a lot of these unnervingly ambiguous observations focus on a girl’s presumed inability to cut loose and have some fun. They are designed, in other words, to eradicate anti-slut defenses and persuade her to open up… to you, the fearless judger of her feminine worth. Some others focus on her social naivete, or her craving for attention. Sprinkle to taste. Some of these negs fall under the category of cold reads; the difference being that cold reads are usually unambiguous compliments worded to entrap a girl deeper into conversation by getting her to talk about herself.

Seduction is the art of contrived concealment. You want to seduce without revealing the machinery of your mind, or the purpose of your words. You introduce the dangerous idea, and if you are successful, she picks up the idea and joins you in her own seduction.

At the end of the night she proved to me her bona fide immodesty with a streetlamp illuminated makeout.

BRUSHING OFF COMMON SHIT TESTS FROM GIRLS

Reexamining my successful pickups, it becomes clear that 80% of early verbal game is simply knowing when a girl is tossing you shit tests and how to handle them like an attractive man. Almost all good-looking women worth banging will, at one point or another, shit test you. It is coded in their DNA. The easiest and quickest way to make yourself more desirable to a woman is to pass her tests like a champ; in other words, to exploit her alpha male filtering mechanism.

Many men write asking for advice about women’s shit tests. Judging by email quantity, it’s a big stumbling block for a lot of would-be womanizers. There have been posts at the Chateau before about passing commonly encountered shit tests, so in the spirit of giving the people what they want, here is another installment in a continuing series. Thanks go to reader Legion for contributing his selection of devious female screening ploys. Edification and analysis follows. Comments from me are bracketed in italics.

Before beginning, one thing I’d like to note is that a big mistake I see a lot of men making — besides an inability to recognize a shit test when it is leveled at them — is sounding spiteful in response. The critical distinction to make when volleying a shit test is to avoid confusing sneering umbrage for cocky indifference. The line is surprisingly thin between the two attitudes. You definitely want to focus on tailoring your replies and your tone of voice to sound like the latter. A good rule of thumb: if your reply to a shit test would sound like it is coming from a man who cares that his feelings were bruised, don’t say it. Another key point — barring infrequent exceptions, your shit test replies should be succinct. Brevity is the glow of clits.

Here are some common shit tests that I’ve encountered over the years – including ones from guys trying to punk you in front of girls – and most of the answers (in bold) are my own; a few are culled from the PUA literature.

The shit tests that blindside you are the ones that really mess you up, like a punch you don’t see coming. This does extreme violence to how you’re perceived. Vaginas snap shut and desiccate abruptly.

I think mastering shit tests is KEY to success. A man with “savoir faire” is magnetic. Girls secretly spurt their panties when an alpha male is challenged in public by other men or women; she excitedly wonders how will he react. I’ve seen this before, many times: you never forget that look of hyper-aroused delight (or crushing sadness) in your girl’s face if you dominate other men (or get owned).

I think game should be expanded to cover how men interact with other men. [Editor: Agreed. However, since the majority of shit testing is done by girls, the focus shall remain on male-female interaction. Most men won’t attempt to punk you in front of a girl you are gaming. There are only so many heavy ballsacks in circulation.]

Anyway, I’d like to hear your take on these; the list is pretty basic so far. It’s not that the answers are particularly clever; it’s just that they work, and you know in the back of your mind you’re armed.

Shit tests

“Do I know you?” / “Why are you talking to me?”

Oh, I forgot there was a no-talking policy here between strangers.

[Editor: I’d drop the “between strangers” part. Otherwise, very good. Alternate replies: “You wish.” / “Your mom said you were lonely.”]

***

“I have a boyfriend”

That’s nice, well done. [keep plowing, then eject if no IOIs]

[Other good IHAB replies are here.]

***

*She asks you to do something such as get something for her, do her a favour, carry something, buy her a drink, etc*

I think you have me confused with every other guy you’ve met.

[Excellent. Alternate reply: “Does this always work for you?”]

***

“Why don’t you give me a straight answer”

It’s more fun for me not to.

[Serviceable. Catchier wording: “Where’s the fun in that?” Alternate reply: “I didn’t know this was a job interview.”]

***

“Is that your best line?”

Yeah I’ve been practicing it all day.

or

Yeah, now it’s your turn.

[I wouldn’t call attention to her framing of the situation. Reframe. Say “Is that your best hair color?”]

***

“Weirdo”

Square.

or

I’m glad you like it.

[“Weirdo” is a tough one. This is more of the female version of a straight up insult rather than a shit test. A lot depends on the tone in which she says it. I’d almost be tempted to backturn on a girl flinging this at me. Alternate replies: “Smelly cooties girl.” “Dork.” “I’m blown away by your scintillating conversation.”]

***

“Kiddo” (from a sassy ho trying to take you down a peg)

Have you watched Kill Bill a little too often?

[I don’t think I’ve ever heard “kiddo” from a girl. I’d probably just ignore it.]

***

“Aw, that’s sweet”

Don’t get used to it.

[Alternates: “I’m one badass motherfucking romantic.” “Yo, check yourself.”]

***

“Your clothes are gay/look stupid”

You fuckin love it.

[Alternate: “Try not to swoon.”]

***

“Are you gay?”

No but my boyfriend is.

[Good answer. Alternate: “Yes, I’m very happy right now.”]

***

From guys: “You look like shit/ you’re fat/ugly/skinny/short/whatever.”

That’s not what your mother said last night.

[Alternates: “Stay classy, champ.” “Are you for real? I thought douchebags like you were only on TV.” “Is this a come-on? Sorry, I don’t swing that way.”]

***

“You look like a player”

Thank you.

[Be careful of overqualifying yourself when she asks you this. Good answer if she is seriously concerned: “I used to be, but those days are behind me.” Good answer if she’s clearly busting your balls: “World’s biggest. One billion served.”]

***

“Sweetheart”

Sugar tits.

[Alternate: “Don’t get clingy.”]

***

“You’re a nerd/geek” (when you say something remotely intelligent or beyond a grunt)

That’s what dumbasses call smart people.

[Whoa, too spiteful. Trading insults is not gonna get you closer to a lay. Alternate: “Absolutely. I’m too sexy for my pocket protector.”]

***

“Did you miss me?”

I know you missed me.

[Alternate: “Oh my god, I spent months building a shrine to you and dreaming of your return.”]

***

“Asshole”

That’s mr asshole to you.

[Alternate: “I do what I can.”]

***

“I can’t believe you said that”

*Don’t reply; just smirk and nod*

[Ignoring her shit test is acceptable in this situation. Many shit tests aren’t meant to be answered; they are merely meant to provoke an apologetic response from betas.]

***

A skinny twat (male): “Is that shirt a size too small?” (if you’re jacked. This insult is leveled at any jacked guy who wears a t-shirt, whether small or not)

It’s all I could find in your mother’s closet.

[Alternate: “Couldn’t help noticing, could you?”]

***

“I like your clothes.”

Cool. I can take them off later to give you a closer look.

[Flattery can be as much of a shit test as peevishness. Betas will eat up flattery; alphas will ignore or playfully turn it around on the girl. Alternate reply: “Flattery will get you everywhere.”]

***

“I don’t like you”

Sure you don’t.

[Again, how to respond to this shit test depends on tone. Did she say it coarsely, or with a peekaboo smile? If the former: “My heart will go on.” If the latter: (with much theatricality) “How can I go on living?!”]

***

“Smartass”

It’s better than being a dumbass

[Alternate: “I try.”]

***

“Loser”

If in jest (“looo-ser”): Shut up ho

If serious: Oh, the L-bomb. You must be really upset.

or

That’s what you are, but what am I?

[Remember, the “loser” bomb is potentially the worst thing a girl can call a man. The female equivalent is “ugly”. Much rests on her tone when she said it. “I know you are but what am I” is a good reply to her if she has said it in jest; otherwise, I’d ditch her without a moment’s thought.]

***

(From a male, or a warpig) “Why aren’t you drinking, are you a bitch or something?”

Your mother promised me buttsex if I quit the drink.

or

I’m on acid.

[Alternate, if from a man: “Why, are you looking for a date rape?” If from a warpig: “I need to see clearly, if you know what I mean.”]

***

“Why don’t you have a girlfriend?”

I haven’t found one who’s rich enough.

[Solid answer. Alternate: “Just lucky, I guess.”]

***

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

No, I have 8 of them.

[Alternate: “It’s complicated.”]

***

*Grabbing or pawing at you* (especially by a guy, trying to exert dominance)

Hey, no touching, admire from a distance.

[Alternate: “You can look, but no touching.”]

***

Now for ones I’m not too sure about. If you have any suggestions, let’s hear em.

*She completely ignores you, or tells you to fuck off*

(just leave, unfazed, and open another set)

Still, this is embarrassing, and hard to smoothly walk away from.

[Walking away like she doesn’t exist is your best option. Alternate responses: “You’ve got the wrong idea. I’m interested in your friend/the girl sitting next to you.” “My hour’s not up yet. A deal’s a deal.”]

***

“Are you trying to be funny?”

You need to lighten up [eject].

[Alternate: “Are you trying to be sexy?”]

***

Angry, cunty tone: “Who do you think you are?”

[“Fuck you, that’s who I am.” Or, on a lighter note: “I’m your wettest dream.”]

***

“What’s your name again? I’ve forgotten?” (Guys use this a lot)

[“I. P. Daily.” “Hugh Jorgan.” “Seymour Butts.”]

***

“You’re a bum.”

[“The bum you love.”]

***

“Who did your hair?”

[Your boyfriend.]

***

*You legitimately fuck up and blush hard* (e. G. walking to my young female professor’s class one day I (loudly) declared to my friend I was going to skip next week’s class, and the professor could “lick my sack” if she’s unhappy about that. She was walking right behind us and clearly heard.)

[“Well, there goes that D-.”]

***

Douchey guy: “Shut up, faggot. Haha, just kidding! We’re all friends!” (trying to exert dominance – an insult followed by a “just kidding” to shield himself.)

[“No we’re not. You didn’t get the memo?” Or: “That’s right, faggot! Faggot friends forever!”]

***

“Have you read The Game? / Do you know who David Deangelo/Mystery is?”

(i. e. trying to expose you as a fakester or manipulator)

[“A friend told me about it. It’s pretty interesting stuff.” Or: “No need. I wrote the book on seducing women.”]

***

“I’m out of your league, honey”

[“The league of hot chicks?” Or: “Don’t sell yourself short.”]

Here are some other shit tests you may confront in your journey to pussyland, and ways to reply to them.

“I wasn’t talking to you.”

“Good thing. I can’t take much more boredom.”

“Are you a moron?”

“Sorry, I’m not your type.”

From a commenter: “400 guys emailed me on match…. why should I date you?”

“You’re right. Better stick to dating desperate men.” Or: “I cook a mean fried beer pocket.”

“We are two totally different people.”

“I know. I’m cool, and you’re… [nod your head and raise your eyebrows confidentially]“

“Hey, you said the same thing to that other girl!”

“Nice job, stalker.”

“Do you always come on to girls like this?”

“Only the ones who deserve it.”

“Why are you out alone?”

“So I don’t have to listen to my friends whine about me taking all the girls.”

“Oh, you’re one of *those* guys.”

“Your ex-boyfriend?”

“Don’t get the wrong idea.”

“You’re a tranny?” Or: “Please, I’m not that type of guy. You’ve gotta wine and dine me.”

“Do you like my new dress/shoes/jeans?”

“It’s nice for handsewn.”

“What’s your deal?”

“I hit on special needs girls.” (Ok, not really recommended, but damned funny in the right scenario.)

“Is this the best you can do?”

“Right now? Yes.” Or: “I’m not inspired enough yet.”

THE FEMINISM SHIT TEST

A reader poses an interesting scenario: what do you say if a girl asks you about feminism? If you live in a big, blue urban enclave, it’s pretty good odds you’ll run into a chick — probably a lawyer or other man-jawed freak of nature — who hits you up with the feminism shit test.

Naturally, the typical beta male, not knowing what the fuck to do in most situations with women except kowtow in abject supplication in hopes he’ll be patted on the head like a neutered shih tzu, would frantically insist his fem-cred is legit. At best, he might “yeah, but” his way through it until eventually caving that he’s on board the grrlpower train.

But we can do better than that! In fact, not just better, but SEXIER. You see, these sorts of politically and culturally loaded questions that girls ask are not just tests for proof of in-group certification, they are also plum-ripe opportunities to demonstrate superior value by parrying her noxiously probing questions in a socially adept manner that simultaneously arouses her and spares your dignity as a man.

Examples

GIRL: what do you think of feminism?

YOU: it’s for old hags and ugly girls.

This was the answer suggested by the reader. It certainly spares no quarter, but is it alpha in the pussy-moistening sense? I think it’s too confrontational. More likely to start an argument or elicit a haughty exit than encourage flirty banter.

Here are some less confrontational but still edgy replies:

GIRL: what do you think of feminism?

YOU:
– great for my sex life!

– child’s play.

– it’s like religion. makes people feel good.

– great! girls buy me drinks now.

– dunno. never ate one.

– fucking LOVE it. premarital sex for the win!

– you mean lesbianism?

– i don’t.

– [for the girls who appreciate dark humor]: it’s cool. my aborted sister was a feminist.

– love it. i’d be married if it wasn’t for feminism.

– it’s bursting with fruit flavor.

– you’ll have to ask my grandma.

– it’s cute!

GIRL: what do you think of feminists?

YOU:
– they’re sexy underneath.

– beautiful on the inside.

– so smart! guys love that about girls. yup, being totally serious here.

– they ask weird questions.

– love chicks who rock the pit hair. shows they’re secure in their masculinity.

– so cute!

– best divorcees in the world.

– love em. most of them are secretly giggling little schoolgirls once you get to know them.

– i’d tell you but then you’d have to buy me a drink.

GIRL: are you a feminist?

YOU:
– i wish, but i was born with a penis.

– that’s what my doctor says.

– when it’s convenient.

– for you, any time sweet cheeks.

– are you flirting with me?

– i’m not wearing any underwear, so, yeah.

Of course, if you really ARE a micropeened self-loathing bitch tittied simulacra of a man one brightly whistled show tune away from double rainbowed gaiety, you could go the Hugo Schwyzer route and proudly declare your feminist bona fides, t-shirt and all, while exploiting your teacher-student status differential to nail 19 year old hypergamous pussy. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

But for most betas who don’t have a captive classroom audience of eager beavers jockeying for insider influence at an A in ‘Deconstructing Rape Culture 101′, holding sincere feminist beliefs and being unafraid (ha!) to broadcast those beliefs will not help you get laid. If anything, girls will be turned off by your cloying self-abnegation. Even feminist girls. ESPECIALLY feminist girls.

HOW TO REMAIN UNFLUSTERED LIKE AN ALPHA MALE

Girls will test, tease and taunt. This is the female mating modus operandi, and it exists because women need a convenient system for screening alpha males from beta males, for whom male looks aren’t enough information for women to go on.

The screening system is fairly ingenious and effective, because in the pressure cooker of face-to-face interaction, alpha males do tend to be the men who can either roll with the girly blows or parry them with maximum seductiveness. Beta males tend to be the men who react defensively, apologetically or feebly. Hotheads react butthurtly.

There is no end to the ways in which being an alpha male is better than being a beta male. So it would make sense to learn how to respond to female testing, teasing and taunting like an alpha male. In practice, this means you are going to have to be a lot less reactive and emotionally susceptible than you currently are, because alpha males all share, to a greater or lesser degree, a facility with well-timed and smoothly executed stoicism. Grace under pressure, if you will.

With that in mind, here are some actions and lines you can use when a woman has challenged you (and revealed her blossoming attraction for you). These are very generalizable responses, because they are meant to be that way. It almost doesn’t matter what kind of test the girl throws in your face; any of these cool hand alpha responses will boost your status, and hence your attractiveness, to her. These tactics aren’t meant to be the height of wit either, so you won’t fear stumbling over your words at the critical moment. They are, before anything else, responses that raise your relative status by influencing women’s perception of you. You have to be a bit of an actor to pull some of these off, but seduction is, in its essence, the art of acting.

The key to many of these is a bemused or neutral facial expression. Body language should be slow and deliberate, bordering on instilling discomfort in your female company. A drink helps here because you can telegraph deliberateness with subtle movements, such as slowly lifting a glass to your mouth to take a sip before replying to a girl. You are nonreactive. If it helps, imagine yourself as D. Draper. (Not Jon Hamm, who is a PC pussy in real life.)

– Arch eyebrows. Stare at her for three seconds. Look away.

– Look her over with neutral expression, draw in lips, slowly nod head, and exhale “yeeeeeeeahhh…..”

– Sarcastically, “Wow, so cold, so cold. mmhmmm.”

– “Goooooddamnit.” [act disappointed, shake head, frown] “I thought you were different.”

– “Hmm,” [pause pause pause] “you’re off to a good start, I see.”

– “Just what I needed tonight.” Smirk a little here. “A ballbuster.”

– Stare, cock head, blank face. “Charming.”

– “I’m sorry, did you say something?”

– Smile broadly and phonily. “All right! This is fun!” Raise your glass to her, like a toast.

– “I thought I was the biggest bitch here.” [to be used sparingly on especially hot women with serious bitch complexes]

– Exhale loudly and slowly. Put your drink on the bar. Turn to face her. Relax arms and clasp your hands together. Brighten your face like a CareBear. “Well. You really know how to win a gentleman over.”

– “Your games are for children.”

– Straight face, “I’m glad I got to know you.” Excuse yourself politely from her company.

– “I bet you say that to all the men who secretly make you a little nervous. Like a schoolgirl.”

– Furrow your brow, cock head, like your examining a zit on her face. “You’re…. weirdly fascinating.”

– “Thanks for not making this too easy/polite/friendly.”

– “It’s a good thing I met you. Nice girls bore me.” (“Normal girls bore me”, if you want to say something edgier.)

– “I’ve got a question.” Look at her, then look at your hand, tap the table or bar (or a herb’s forehead) with your fingers for a few seconds, stop tapping, look back at her. “Does this normally work for you?”

– “Well.” Raise your glass to her. Smile. Nod in appreciation. “Just what I expected.”

– “I’ve heard about girls like you.” Wait for a reply. “Nothing good, I’m afraid.”

– “C+.” She will ask what you’re talking about. “Your flirting skills. Not bad, room for improvement if you apply yourself.”

– Make a fake pained expression. Breathe in through your teeth. Squint. Put a hand to your forehead like you have a headache, or to your chest like you have heart pains. “You wound me, deeply.” Immediately after saying that, assume your unaffected poker face. “Cheers.”

– Appear befuddled. “Your question seems silly to me.”

– “I’ve gotta hand it to you. I was expecting a sane, boring girl.”

– “Nevermind.”

– “Hold that thought.” Drink, talk to the bartender or a friend, or just stare at the wall. She will expect you to return to the conversation. You won’t.

– Duct tape her mouth. “That’s better.”

One of the above is a joke.

Bonus alpha maneuver!

Stick your fingers in your ears. “I can’t hear you.” If she doesn’t laugh, I’ll refund your boot camp money.

SEDUCING WOMEN IS A CHILDREN’S GAME

Here’s a little secret: some of the “routines” that pickup artists use to attract women are actually reformulations of children’s games. The games that you used to do as a child to annoy your little brother or sister, or the pig-tailed girl on the playground, are those same games that spark an attraction in adult women. Why? Because children’s games are essentially LONG FORM NEGS.

Following are examples of children’s games that you should play with women you intend to bang.

The Repeating Game

This is a classic. You repeat everything she says or does back to her. The quicker you copy her, the funnier it is. When you are repeating her words almost at the same moment as she says them (this requires a bit of prescience and luck) the hilarity will cause her BJ lips to flutter with giggles.

Almost no woman can resist the fun of the repeating game. You’ll know she’s really into it when she tries to pull a reverse psychology repeat by starting a sentence with “I”, as in “I’m a big doofus”, in which case you will have to repeat “I’m a big doofus” back to her. Just be careful not to overdo it. Wait for her to get seriously annoyed (her tone will give it away), then do it once more.

Tag

As the both of you are walking to a new venue, hit her on the shoulder or ass and yell “Tag, you’re it!”, then run away. If she chases you, she’s DTF. If she doesn’t, walk back with a look of disappointment and accuse her of lameness. Or use her non-participation as an excuse to escape, and keep running.

Stop Touching Me

Put her hand on yourself, then reprimand her by saying “Stop touching me” while pushing her hand off. Do this a few times, each time increasing the fake annoyance in your voice. “Seriously, stop touching me!” “Stop touching me or I’ll tell mom.” “Stop touching me pervy mcpervster!” “Wow, you just can’t get enough of this man goodness, can you?”

Simon Says

Girl: Will you buy me a drink?

You: You didn’t say ‘simon says’.

Girl: Simon says, buy me a drink.

You: No.

Sidewalk Cracks

This game is really fun when you are walking her back to your place for the F close. Announce “Don’t step on the cracks or you’ll break your mother’s back” and start hopping from one sidewalk square to another. If she joins you in the silliness, she’s DTF. The ridiculous fun factor goes up to 11 if you are walking with her on a cobblestone street.

Thumb Wrestling

Self-explanatory. Any situation will work. “We have to thumb wrestle for it.” You can trick her with the ‘snake in the grass’. This is where you cheat by using your index finger to pin down her thumb. If she punches you after losing, she’s DTF.

Some of you may be wondering when to play these games with women. Well, pretty much whenever you sense an opportunity. They can be played during the attraction stage as a way to tease a girl and disqualify yourself. Or you can play them while sitting with her on a couch and getting comfortable. They’re great mood lifters and routine breakers in LTRs. A woman would have to have a heart of stone not to get into the spirit of a fun, goofy game.

Children’s games work because children know how to tease. The art of teasing is lost as the years pile up and adult responsibilities deaden the soul. Teasing is extremely attractive to women because it signals you aren’t automatically impressed by them. Women love to feel like they have to earn the attraction of a man they are talking to, just as a man has to earn a woman’s attraction.

Another benefit of playing children’s games with women: they are probably the simplest way to demonstrate amused mastery.

TARD GAME

A buddy was telling me about a semi-famous tard intern who works in his office. He has a job responsibility that is about as complex as Walmart greeter. He also has very tight game.

“The way he handles the hot girls in my office is nothing short of amazing.”

“How so?”

“Girls will go up to him and say ‘Good morning, Joe*!’, and Joe will bark back ‘You’re crazy don’t even talk to me!’” [*fake name]

“Wow. Nuclear neg.”

“If a girl says ‘Hi’ to him, he’ll say ‘Don’t kiss me, I have a girlfriend.’ If she gets too far into his personal space, he’ll scold her: ‘Don’t touch me! You’re not my girlfriend.’”

“And the girls find this charming?”

“You wouldn’t believe it. The girls are scrambling to figure out how to get this tard to like them. ‘Why doesn’t he like me?’ He’s friendly to all the guys in the office, but he gives the girls a hard time. Sometimes, when he sees one of the girls talking to another dude, he’ll go up to them and tell the girl not to touch him, he has a girlfriend.”

“Fascinating. He totally assumes the sale. And he’s an expert AMOG. Killer combo.”

“I told him once, ‘Hey man, your frame is incredible.’”

“Tard game. The next evolution in pickup. Does he actually have a girlfriend?”

“Yeah. He’s dating another tard chick.”

“I wonder what their lovemaking sounds like.”

“Probably like angry seals.”

THE LOVE TEST: A ROUTINE

A while back on this blog I mentioned in passing that I had a comfort building routine I use which isn’t, as far as I’m aware, especially well-known in the seduction community. The routine was given to me by a friend. Its effectiveness is without doubt; of all the women I’ve charmed with the love test, my bang rate is 90%. For a long while it was my go-to comfort stage routine; I was on auto-pilot when I used it.

Since I’m feeling generous I will share it with everyone here. Virginal routines that haven’t yet gone mainstream are worth their words in gold, so get on your knees and kiss my triskelion ring for this gift I give you. All I ask is that you don’t use the routine on girls if you happen to be in St Louis, Soweto, Prague, Warsaw, Toronto, or the Australian outback. It’s bad form to cross the streams.

As with all psychological routines designed to elicit an emotionally bonding reaction in a girl and to demonstrate your perspicacity, the way to segue into the love test without sounding a false note is to say “I can tell you something about yourself with a simple game”. Most girls, as long as you have built attraction with them, will bite at this delicious bait.

If you are a girl reading this post who remains unviolated by my tremendous manhood, you may want to give yourself this test before reading the answers. Just read the italicized parts and cover up the answers underneath with your hand.

The Love Test

You will ask the girl a series of six questions within a story in which she is presented with two choices as an answer for each question. She must choose one or the other, and she has to go with her gut. Remind her to answer quickly and to avoid lingering over a choice. At the end of the test, you will tell her what her answers reveal about herself.

“You have a lover, a man who is everything to you. He lives apart from you, but within walking distance. One day you decide to visit him. You have two paths you can take to get to his home. One is a short but boring path that will get you there quickly. The other is a long but scenic path with many beautiful sites that will take longer. Which do you take?”

If she answers “short”, this means she falls in love quickly. She is passionate and impulsive.

If she answers “long”, this means she takes a while to fall in love. She is circumspect and enjoys the buildup to falling in love.

“Along the path you come across rose bushes. The roses come in two colors — red and white. You decide you want to pick some roses for your lover. You are allowed to pick twenty roses of any combination of red or white. How many red and how many white roses do you pick?”

Red roses symbolize selflessness. A woman who picks more red than white roses is a giver in a relationship.

White roses symbolize selfishness. A woman who picks more white than red roses is a taker in a relationship.

[Editor’s note: You’d probably not be surprised how many women pick more white than red roses. This part of the test is a great screening mechanism for LTR material.]

“You arrive at your lover’s home and knock on the door. A family member opens the door. Do you ask to be let in so you can go to his room to see him, or do you ask the family member to bring him to the door?”

If she answers “ask to be let in”, she does not let arguments simmer in a relationship. She prefers having it out.

If she answers “bring him to the door”, she lets arguments slide and buries her anger. She avoids conflict and drama.

“You go up to his bedroom and he is not there. You want to leave the roses in his room. Do you leave them on his windowsill or on his bed?”

If she answers “windowsill”, she prefers more casual relationships where she doesn’t feel a need to see her lover very often.

If she answers “bed”, she prefers intense relationships where she sees her lover a lot.

[Editor’s note: Windowsill girls are cheap dates.]

“Your lover returns and you two spend the night together making sweet sweet sex. You both fall asleep and in the morning you wake up first. You lean over to his side of the bed to see if he is awake. Is he awake or still sleeping?”

If she answers “awake”, she is the type of girl who will try to change her man into her image of the perfect boyfriend.

If she answers “asleep”, she loves her man just the way he is, flaws and all.

“It’s the end of the day and time for you to say goodbye to your lover and go home. As before, you are presented with two paths to get home — a long but scenic path and a short but boring path. Which path do you take?”

If she answers “long”, she takes a long time to fall out of love. Breakups are hard on her. She is given to nostalgia and reminiscence. She is a natural romantic.
If she answers “short”, she falls out of love quickly. Breakups are short, sharp affairs that she gets over in no time and with little handwringing. She is a natural slut.

***

I remember this one particularly aggro lawyerchick I ran the love test on. These were her answers:

long

all white

asked to be let in

windowsill

awake

short

I enjoyed making her wince with pain during anal sex.

I HAVE A POLICE RECORD. WHAT DO I TELL GIRLS?

A reader who has funnily enough remained anonymous demands to know at gunpoint:

I’ll cut right to the chase. I have a police record. Not for anything too bad, but bad enough. I was younger and stupider. Should I bother telling girls about this? I figure they’ll find out anyhow by searching my name online.

Good news! Police records are practically neon signs flashing ALPHA MALE over your head. A little taste of the ol’ ultracriminality — just a wee bit, mind you, guv’nor — is crotchnip to maximally fertile women from all socioeconomic stratum. The bleatings of the femcunt and limpwrist brigades to the contrary notwithstanding, bad boys are attractive to emotionally stable girls, and *especially* to emotionally stable, professional yuppie chicks who are surrounded on a daily basis by mincing beta herbs with balls crafted from tofu. Aggro urban lawyercunts are particularly vulnerable to the charms of the convict contingent.

Now a few caveats are in order, lest you mistake women’s love for jerks and malcontents to be without preconditions.

– A certain subclass of criminal activity is kryptonite to kooch tingles. Pedophilia, sexual assault, solicitation, public masturbation and/or exposure, and restraining orders are the kinds of omegaboy stigmata that signal “loser” rather than “sexy badboy”. If you have these marks on your record, consider an identity transplant.

– DUIs are another one of those character blotches that scream “loser”. Maybe at one time getting arrested for driving drunk was the mark of the rebel badboy, but today, owing to the crime’s association with illegal aliens and skid row left behinds, most women are liable to think a DUI conviction just means you are stupid, and not stupid in the good, recklessly adventurous, way.

– Hardcore criminality — e. G., murder, druglordship — are attractive to hot chicks in the lower classes, but tend to scare away your average SWPLly upper class girls. (And by “scare away”, I mean “scare away, but goddamnit, despite my moral revulsion why do I tingle so hard when he’s standing before me?”) The way to attract a higher class girl if you are burdened with one of these major convictions (and you have somehow managed to avoid extended prison time) is to remember the classic game adage: CONTRAST IS KING. A chick who knows, or is about to know of, your criminal record, will find you unbearably intriguing if you present yourself well-dressed and articulate, sprinkled with a dash of emotional accessibility announced by a tactically furrowed brow and brooding sideways gaze.

My advice to you is to refrain from bringing up the subject of your police record, unless context allows, in which case you may refer to the tactically furrowed brow maneuver mentioned above. Blurting it out offhand is going to come across weird and legitimately scary. If a girl likes you enough to search out background info on you, she will more than likely experience a torque in her attraction for you when she stumbles across your dark secret. “OMG, he seemed so nice and funny! I can’t believe he stole a car! Wow, this guy is bad news. I think I will text him right now to tell him how bad he is. Yes, I really can’t wait any longer to text him about my disapproving feelings for him.”

On the next date, when she brings it up (and there’s a chance she won’t, figuring the delicious drama will last longer if she waits for you to bring it up first), you may execute the brow furrow and sideways gaze and then mutter into the empty space of middle distance, “Those were tough times. I can’t… I can’t talk about this.” Then, if the girl is a real hottie, like a 9 or a 10, ratchet up the flirty tension by making a slow move for the door as you say these lines, as if you’d rather leave her than dredge up your past. Like the cops from that long time ago, she will chase you down instead of letting you go.

Final note: if you are truly worried that your police record will cost you lays and love, you should consider the misinformation move. Just toss out a nickname you go by so that she can’t find your record online. If, at some distant future date, you and her are still together, you may reveal the full extent of your badassness. It will be like love is blossoming all over again for her. She will remember the moment as possibly the greatest gift a man has ever given her.

STEALING BAIT FROM WOMEN FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS

Fishing for compliments is mostly a woman thing. ON AVERAGE, of course, ON AVERAGE. Men rarely engage in the activity; even very insecure men are loathe to fish for compliments. It’s such a transparently unmanly endeavor that the noodliest manboobs wince at the thought of begging like a chick for self-esteem boosts.

The kinds of women who make it obvious that they are fishing for compliments generally fall in three main camps:

1. Hot babes who live and die by continual positive feedback on either their beauty (from aloof men they like) or their personality/smarts (from women and men who only recognize them for their beauty.)

2. Aging beauties who need reassurances in the face of their impending expiration.

3. Women in relationships who are feeling anxiety that their men are losing interest in them.

There are plenty of other types, but these three predominate. A once-hot woman nearing 35, in an unmarried relationship with an alpha male with options who checks out other women all the time, is the equivalent of fishing for sharks in a backyard pool with chunks of seal flesh as bait. She is a fisher of flattery.

Knowing this, you can capitalize on this natural womanly compulsion for your own benefit. (You can also make yourself less attractive.)

The beta male spies a woman fishing for a compliment, and he frantically chomps down, happily letting himself be reeled into the boat. She catches him, sees what a runty specimen he is, and uses him as bait to catch bigger fish. The beta male feels the hook dig deep into his side and wonders why he is suffering such torment for giving the fisher of flattery what she wanted.

The alpha male spies a woman fishing for flattery, and he circles the bait, taking small nibbles from it without ever biting down on the hook. She tries to reel him in, but he is elusive. She now wants this fish so badly she dumps the whole bucket of beta fish chum in the water hoping to lure him closer to the boat where she can net him. But he is slippery, and toys with her by gleefully breaching the water just out of her reach.

You, the reader, would like to know how to nibble at a woman fishing for compliments that does not result in your demise or her abandoning the water to fish another day. There is no one way to successfully dance with a woman seeking approval via utilization of a plump, poisoned enticement, but there are easily-remembered short cuts. One which has worked for me over the years is a simple one-word response:

“Sure.”

As in:

Woman Being Womanly: “Don’t you think this skirt is a cute look on me?”

Mischievous Fishier: “Sure.”

Or:

Woman Being Womanly: “I bet I could make you forget about her.”

Mischievous Fishier: “Sure.”

Or:

Womanly Being Womanly: “I’m the best you’ll ever get.”

Mischievous Fishie: “Sure.”

The key here is the tone of your voice; neither sarcastic nor earnest. You want that “sure” to sound closer to an ambiguously sincere reflection bordering on a taunt, slightly higher pitched, and girded with a hint of joviality.

You want her wondering what it is you’re thinking. She has dropped bait, and she’s not quite sure you’re on the hook. But neither is she sure you’ve raced away from her hook.

This works because women love two characteristics about men: unpredictability and ambiguity. The woman who can’t readily predict or decipher your reaction, or the meaning of your words, is the woman who will make her desire more predictable and less ambiguous to you. She does not want your hostility or your sycophancy, both of which are as predictable as sunrises. She wants your mystery.

PENIS PIC GAME

A reader who wishes to remain anonymous emails:

Big fan of your work.

I saw this exchange on FB, and I couldn’t resist snapping some screen shots.

“R” is an early-thirties female. Commenters J, J, and E are all males.

When I read the initial post, I couldn’t help but picture a cocky asshole, annoyed with her presumption, and deciding the penis pic was the best way to shut it down.

After “E” suggests something similar, her story changes a bit IMO. But I’ll leave the interpretation to you and your readers.

Here is the exchange:

First of all, props to the guys “J”, “J” and “E” for handling this whiny broad with biting humor, and to the original penis pic sender for offending her sensibilities. I like the last suggestion from “J” that she should return fire with a pic of her vagina. For some reason I cannot fathom, I doubt she’ll consider that option.

When “E” implies there must be a good reason penis pic man stood her up and “nuked” their conversation, she changes her story in an obvious way that makes her look better. It’s funny how often women badly contradict themselves in a web of lies when their sexual market value is disparaged. Recall Maxim #77:

Maxim #77: Women will screech louder the closer your words get to damaging or exposing vulnerabilities in their sexual market value.

Penis pic game justifiably gets a bad rap as a seduction technique, but it’s under-appreciated as an effective means of belittling a haughty bitch. It is the ultimate shit test, because there really is no answer to a picture of a penis on your phone. Even as a serious pickup technique, I think it could work on really twisted, slutty girls who crave the most intense asshole experience the cock carousel can provide.

To properly run penis pic game, you should be aware of the basic rules of engagement:

You don’t have to send a pic of your own penis. Choose from any number of porn star penises on the web. Or, if you really want to deliver a powerful message, text her a pic of a penis maimed with disease and pus-dripping open sores. Bonus points if you send a black peen to a white SWPL girl.

If you send a pic of your own penis with authenticity in mind, make sure you are packing heat. You’ll have to be honest with yourself. Treat penis pics like any other text game: does it pass the Jumbotron test? If your penis is flashed on a Jumbotron in front of thousands of spectators, would you beam with pride? Or hide in shame? It kind of kills the purpose of penis pic game if she shares it with her friends for a good laugh.

Caveat to the above point: A pic of a micropenis from a medical reference manual would be funny. It’s like saying “this is all you’re worth, honey.”

Send a flaccid penis. An erection will make her wonder if you get excited at the thought of texting her. A flaccid penis says all the right things to a bitch you want to put in place. Namely, “You are not woman enough to marginally bestir my loins.” Also, you aren’t a gay man texting another gay man.

Include the balls some way. If you have a robust, assertive sack that frames your penis like a museum piece, this won’t be hard to do. There’s just something extra demeaning about frank *and* beans.

Shoot from below. This is a well-known trick that photographers use to emphasize largeness and dominance. Plus, it’s been shown that women like looking up at men. Extend the honor to your junk! Lighting is important, too. When lit from below, the penis will have that malevolent look, like a flashlight under the chin.

I would run penis pic game, but a phone with a 24 inch screen hasn’t been invented yet.

TEASING SHOULD BE LIKE BREATHING

My girl had challenged me to a pushup hold contest. This is where you assume the pushup position and hold it there for as long as you can. I had said she stood no chance with me, and she eagerly set out to prove me wrong. But instead of following the script she was expecting, I reached out and swatted her inner elbow while she was in her pushup, and she crumpled to the ground, whining about my unfairness as I declared “victory” over her puny femaleness. She then chased me around the house until I tossed her onto the bed where intimacy commenced.

When a girl asks you to do something for or with her, instead of following her request to the tee you should be thinking how you can screw around with her expectation. Your brain needs to be trained to think like this if you are a natural born beta who did not instill in himself the proper mindset when it is best instilled — elementary school. Years of pulling ponytails on playgrounds prepares a boy for dealing with adult women who want to be dominated and teased into arousal by a carefree man who doesn’t take them seriously. Call it “depedestalization”; the act of teasing is akin to pushing a girl right off her pedestal, whether erected by herself or by orbiting obsequious men, and is craved by every woman with a working vagina.

Remember, because the average woman is biologically more valuable than the average man, every girl is born perched atop a pedestal. The doctor holds it upside down, gives it a few slaps to firm the supports, and then inserts it under the infant girl’s bottom, where it remains propping her up until she is knocked off it by either circumstance, aging, or deliberate effort. If the infant girl grows up ugly, her pedestal will shrink of its own accord, until it is not more than a speck on her ass. If she grows up pretty, her pedestal will get bigger in accordance with the slavish attention she receives from men. By age 18, a hot chick may as well be surveying her queendom from the apex of a pyramid. It would take a truly impressive asshole to knock such a girl off her throne, which may explain why the hottest girls fall for the biggest jerks.

Therefore, teasing a girl should be like breathing to you. It should come naturally, with little forethought. For instance, if she asks you to pick up a bag of kitty litter for her furry child substitute, rather than dutifully fulfilling her request you could pretend to forget to buy it and inform her that you bought an electric zapper instead to train the cat to go in the toilet. Then pull out a black wand or something similar and chase after the cat to “demonstrate” the efficacy of electroshock kitty training. If you can do this with a straight face, she will freak out. Once informed of the prank, she will smile, hit you hard, and then jump your bones.

Or maybe she gets excited to tell you about something that happened to her at work. If you’re a beta, you would ask her to proceed and listen intently as she unloadsher emotions. She will be grateful for your listening ability, but not too turned on. However, if you’re an alpha, you would prop your hands under your chin, curl your fingers, purse your lips into a pinched smile, widen your eyes while blinking exaggeratedly for effect and arch your eyebrows like you’re about to burst from the anticipation. Clap your hands like a little boy catching his first glimpse of a birthday present, and say “Do go on! Yes? Yes!?! Oh, the suspense is killing me! I hope it lasts!” If her eyes aren’t shimmering with joy and lust by this point, you are dating a golem. Naturally, she will give you shit. This just means you’re doing it right.

I know this blog has an inordinate number of aspie readers who can’t divine subtleties of argument, so before the usual complaints are heard it pays to remind yourself that while women love to get teased, their appreciation doesn’t mean you should tease them ALL THE FUCKING TIME, regardless of circumstance. If she wants you to pick up flowers for her mom’s funeral, it’s probably not a good idea to tease her about her allergies to roses. You can occasionally pick up a gallon of milk for her without making a production out of it. I really hate having to include these obvious caveats, but man oh man alive there are some numbskulls on this board.

WHAT IS ANTI-GAME?

Feh writes:

Anti-game is trivial:

– get misty-eyed at emotional shit

– bore her with details

– constantly let her re-frame

– buy her drinks [Ed: Outside of a date context.]

– compliment her gratuitously

– talk about your hobbies with oblivious enthusiasm

– never ask her a question

– never look away

– let her see your shit-eating smile

– accede to her manipulative horseshit

– never, ever say “horseshit” in conversation

The list could go on …

It could, and it shall. Here are some more anti-game behaviors and traits, from a pickup and LTR perspective:

Constantly remind her how happy you are to be with her.

Laugh at your own jokes.

Laugh uproariously at her “jokes”.

Feed her need for gossip.

Put up with her shit an order of magnitude more frequently than she puts up with your shit.

Ask yes or no or one-word answer type questions.

Act contrite when she catches you checking out her body.

Stare, look away, stare, look away, stare, look away.

Ask her if she has a condom.

Cuddle her so long that she is the one to first start wriggling free.

Hold in farts around her until your colon bursts. (LTR applicable only.)

Fidget, talk fast, mumble, lean in, babble tiresomely like a girl who has a heavy emotional burden to unload.

Talk incessantly about the state of the relationship.

Whine about how hard life is.

Betray too much enthusiasm when she tells you about something cool she did.

Act impressed with her educational credentials or career success.

Sympathize with her bitching about badboy exes.

Agree to her tacit sex timetable. (A woman is capable of making you wait for months absent any masculine push on your part. Ironically, this very acquiescence to her female sensibility will turn her off to sex with you.)

Get wrathfully jealous every time she checks out a dude or talks about another guy.

Spitefully berate her genuine accomplishments.

Say crap like “I don’t deserve you” with sincerity.

Be a kitchen bitch.

Drop everything you like to do to do everything she likes to do. (Man, I know a lot of guys like this. Sickening.)

Wanly smile when she denigrates you to her friends.

Resort to saying “I suppose you’re right” every time she accuses you of some character defect.

Constantly, and insipidly, ask her if she “likes it this way” during lovemaking.

Forget the art of plain old fucking.

Turn to face her fully as soon as you open a girl. Stay that way while she continues giving you her profile.

Buying girls drinks as a MEANS OF OPENING THEM.

Muck up cold reads until they sound like interrogations.

Show up more than five minutes early for dates. (She doesn’t have to know about this, but it will be written all over your body language.)

Go for the night-ending kiss, get denied, follow up by shouting at her as she’s leaving that you’ll call her.

Make it a promise.

Skip on the way home after a “successful” date that did not end in sex.

Apologize for infractions she has not even accused you of.

Support feminism. Make a big show of it.

Ingratiate yourself to her. (Example: “Porn is disgusting. I’d never watch it.”)

Know a little too much about the TV wasteland, articles in the Style section of any major newspaper, or women’s fashion.

Make breakfast for her after the first night together. (She has not yet earned your LTR provisions. Buying her breakfast at the local deli is OK.)

Deprecate yourself for cheap laughs and conversation fuel. (As an example of the handicap principle in action, self-deprecation is acceptable in small — very small — doses.)

Follow her from bar to bar.

Join her plans instead of inviting her to join your plans.

Agree to meet her friends before you have sexed her. (Note: this can be pulled off if you have very high value or tight game, and you are certain sex is an eventual given.)

Wait in the exact same spot for her to return after she has told you she’ll be gone for ten minutes. Talk to no one while waiting.

Pine over, or disparage, your ex on a first date.

Listen to her intently when she talks about her exes.

Always follow her conversational lead. Never veer off the path she lays out, or start your own path.

Touch her hair too soon.

Sit with your legs crossed. (Acceptable only if you are an office executive.)

Sweat profusely from anything other than vigorous exercise, sex or fighting.

Eagerly say yes to every one of her requests. (“No” is a powerful male attractant. The mere utterance of it can electrify vulvae.)

Be hopelessly indecisive.

Fail every shit test in spectacular fashion. (Example: vehemently deny you are the thing she says you are.)

Pick your nose and wipe the booger on her forehead. (Save this for the six month mark, at which point she’ll be too invested to do anything more than feebly complain.)

There are many more anti-game tells, but I’ll stop for now. You should get the gist.

***

Anti-game is the suite of low-value male characteristics that actively repulses girls. It is a constellation of insecure, approval-seeking behavior that is a leading indicator the man behaving in such a way is a loser, and worse, believes he is a loser. Anti-game is distinguishable from no-game by the proactive and accelerated nature of its tendency to trigger disgust in women. A no-game-having beta can sometimes obliviously motor through a pickup if the girl he is hitting on is low value herself, or finds him peculiarly attractive, and thus more likely to forgive his lack of charm. But an anti-game-having beta will actually cause an incipient attraction a girl may have for him to quickly dissipate. Anti-game is the equivalent of a monkey throwing feces in the face of a prospective mate. Or Ahmadinejad bloviating about the 12th imam at the UN.

Anti-game, by the way, is a great method for manipulating a girl to break up with you so you don’t have to do the dirty work.

SHE INSULTED YOU. NOW WHAT?

One time, like a stink bomb dropped in the middle of a spring meadow, your girlfriend called you a rude name, and not in jest. The insult itself was nothing that would scandalize polite company. On the scale from “dummy” to “motherfucker” it was closer to the former. It was a rambunctious conversation between just the two of you and the insult popped out of her reflexively. You know she’s a spark plug, so you’re not surprised when she snaps agitatedly on occasion. Usually, though, she directs her insults to invisible third parties. This time, she spit it at you.

As an alpha male, you let it slide. You know that a highly self-possessed man won’t sweat the small stuff. Reacting indignantly to every petty affront is the domain of the less secure greater beta trying to prove the weight of his cohones. You’ve earned enough love cred to give her a pass without risking diminishment of your authority. But, you do take a mental note of her insult.

As you suspected would happen, (and the reason for your prior mental note-taking), a month later she disrespected you again with the same insult. Except this time she did it to you in front of a group of her friends while out at a social venue. The Rubicunt from minor slight to major infraction had been crossed.

It is a truism of the nature of women that once they have tasted even a droplet of beta blood in a prized lover, they thirst for more. In fact, they will not be satisfied until they have either drained all the manhood out of you, or you have figuratively driven a stake through their vampiric soul. Strangely to men who don’t know better, women don’t relish draining a lover’s soul of his manhood. No, they are compelled by ancient feminine forces beyond their influence to do so. Women would much rather you stay their attacks. She yearns for you to put her in her proper submissive place. She will arch her back, rip her bodice, and present her bitch heart for you to pierce. A man who won’t take up the stake and do as she wishes is in for a world of anguish. (It’s easy to picture a betaboy limply dangling the stake in his flaccid arm, wondering what next to do while mewling for his woman to button up her blouse.)

So there you are, in a mixed group of seven or eight people, most of whom are girl friends of your woman, and in the midst of a chaotic conversation she has just called you that naughty word again. You can discern by her yapping mouth and her animated face that she has hardly recognized the extent of her insolence. No matter. You know what has to be done. You retrieve the mental note you made one month ago, turn to face her directly, firmly wrap your hand around her forearm, and with the steely gaze of a lion targeting a distracted gazelle you inform her in no uncertain terms of your displeasure with her behavior.

“Hey! Don’t use that word on me again, do you understand?”

She looks shocked, and squirms a bit in her seat. The conversation among the group sitting at the table lulls. A wind blows from the West. Sensing escalating danger, or perhaps simply confused, she mutters an inaudible, and notably unapologetic, OK and continues yapping to her friends without missing a beat. You squeeze your grip on her forearm tighter and address her louder than before.

“Hey! I said… don’t use that fucking word with me again…… Got it?”

Now the table has fallen silent. A grim specter has alighted upon the land. Your woman, pressed into a corner by your imposing strength of will, finally succumbs and silences herself.

“Ok, sorry, sorry.”

The next twenty minutes, she is withdrawn, her demeanor chastened and her arms modestly crossed in her lap. You swivel to face the group and smile warmly. Instead of forcing the conversation to return to an artificial crescendo, you remain calm and allow the prior energy level to reformulate on its own. Which it does, almost. Eventually, even your girl has managed to reconstitute herself, although you note with great pride the look of hatred her ugly BFF shoots you.

What do you think happened next?

Let us turn to the lyrics of Alter Ego Neil Diamond for our answer.

Turn on your snatch spigot

let it flow wherever you go

let it make a happy hole

for all the world to see

Turn on your snatch spigot

in the middle of a young boy’s dream

don’t wake me up too soon

gonna take a ride across your poon… you and me

Many men are afraid of confronting their girlfriends or wives for perceived insults. They think, not illogically, that standing up to a lover angrily and putting her in her place means she will despise him more, and her pussy will close up shop. They especially believe this will be the case if they confront and humiliate their women in front of her friends. These men, 80% of the American male population by my estimation, think it’s better to go along to get along. But they are thinking like men, and that is why they fail. Think like a woman and you will quickly apprehend that just the opposite is likely to result — she will respect you more, and her temporary, but much-needed, humiliation that burns her face will soon burn a line of lust straight to her furrow.

This story of course impresses upon the reader whether it is worth dating a woman who periodically requires strong disciplinary action to keep her in love. It’s a fair question, which answer will depend on what kind of man you are. If you are the type of man who enjoys administering punishment and thrills at the prospect of psychologically outwitting your lover, then you may find this kind of woman preferable. If you’re a man who wishes only the company of women so sweetly feminine in their enthrallment to you that they would never even consider challenging your dominance, then you should find a different woman to love. In the final analysis, though, the only relevant point is the wetness of her pussy. Is she tingling for you? Carry on, Christian soldier.

THE RIGHT GAME FOR YOUR BODY

ENDOMORPH

We’re all familiar with the three major body types: ectomorph (skinny), endomorph (fat) and mesomorph (muscular). And many of us have noticed that these three body types tend to correspond with certain mental and emotional characteristics. William Sheldon was the first to research and categorize an association between body type and personality type, or temperament. He called it the theory of constitutional psychology. (Even bodybuilders have dietary regimes geared to your particular body type.)

Sheldon’s theory has been accused of pseudoscience by an assortment of social scientists and psychologists, the great majority of them leftists, who don’t like the implications in his work. I don’t want to get into a cage fight over the validity of his body type theory; for now, let’s just say the science is unsettled. However, I do want to acknowledge that I, and apparently lots of others, can’t help but observe in real life daily confirmation of Sheldon’s theory. There’s something there, odd as it may seem that one’s physique and mental attributes would interact in predictable ways, and one day we’ll get to the bottom of it.

In the meantime, we will assume that constitutional psychology has some merit based on anecdota. This post is about tailoring your game to your body type, which reflects your innate personality type. Here’s a primer if you want to know where you fall on Sheldon’s somatotype diagram, and what that says about your personality:

The diagram should be self-explanatory. Note that the figures represented are extremes for that body type; you may fall somewhere in between two extremes, or have traits from all three types. In keeping with nature’s design to use men as evolutionary guinea pigs, men tend to be found at the extremes more often than are women.

Linked with each body type is your corresponding temperament. Briefly:

Endotonia is seen in the love of relaxation, comfort, food and people.

Mesotonia is centered on assertiveness and a love of action.

Ectotonia focuses on privacy, restraint and a highly developed self-awareness.

I’ll get into more detail of the temperaments, but for now, know that the game you use to pick up women will likely be interdependent with your body type and associated temperament. That is, you’ll find certain game tactics and strategies more or less favorable depending on your personality type. For instance, if you are using game that is best suited for an outgoing, physical mesomorph, but you are an introverted, brainy ectomorph, you will experience more difficulty achieving success. You want to identify your inborn strengths and tailor your game to them, while adjusting your game to account for inborn weaknesses. As Dirty Harry said, “A man’s got to know his limitations.” You’ve got to know your limitations so that they don’t unexpectedly sabotage you in the middle of a pickup attempt.

The Extreme [Endomorph] — Friendliness

The endotonic shows a splendid ability to eat, digest and socialize. […] Endotonics are relaxed and slow-moving. Their breathing comes from the abdomen and is deep and regular. Their speech is unhurried and their limbs often limp. They like sitting in a well-upholstered chair and relaxing. All their reactions are slow, and this is a reflection on a temperament level of a basal metabolism, pulse, breathing rate and temperature which are all often slower and lower than average. The circulation in their hands and feet tends to be poor. Sheldon calls these people biologically introverted organisms. It is as if all the energy is focused on the abdominal area, leaving less free to be expressed in the limbs and face, and giving the impression of a lack of intensity.

Sheldon felt that biological introversion gave rise to psychological extraversion. Since the bodies of the endotonics are so focused on the central digestive system, they need and crave social stimulation in order to feel complete on the social level. Groups of people, rather than fatiguing them, stimulate them to the proper level of social interaction. The assimilative powers that on the physical level were oriented to food, now on the social level draw them to people.

They have a strong desire to be liked and approved of, and this often leads them to be very conventional in their choices in order not to run the risk of social disapproval. The endotonics are open and even with their emotions which seem to flow out of them without any inhibitions. Whether they are happy or sad, they want the people around them to know about it, and if others express emotion they react directly and convincingly in sympathy. When an endotonic has been drinking he becomes even more jovial and radiates an expansive love of people. Endotonics are family-oriented and love babies and young children and have highly developed maternal instincts.

In summary, they love assimilation both on the physical and social level.

Endomorphs are your archetypical “class clown” socializers. This is their strength, and their game should emphasize this aspect of their personalities. An endomorph will not feel anxiety about working a mixed set. He longs for social interaction. Openers and small talk will come second nature to him. Disarming cockblocks will be easy for him because he has a facility with assimilating into groups and making everyone feel good. He is expert at smoothing hurt feelings and generally making girls feel happier in his presence.

For these reasons, endomorphs make the best wingmen. They are loyal to a fault, and skilled in the art of getting your lackadaisical ass into conversations with women. An endomorph is best paired with an ectomorph; each one’s strength cancels out the other’s weakness.

Tyler Durden, especially back when he was a fatter aspiring PUA, is an example of the socially eager, uninhibited, emotive endomorph. TD practically invented “gay game”. Endomorphs are especially gifted in “hot-cold-hot-cold”, “push-pull” and “high-low” roller coaster game, which involves a lot of puppeteering of women’s emotions. Endomorphs are comfort stage kings, where their natural sympathy and relaxed demeanor shines.

Endomorphs are not, on the whole, manipulative (they tend to sincerity in everything they do), so a lot of the emotional see-sawing that they engage in is coincidental to their free-for-all, open-minded attitude toward socializing. If they can channel their natural expressiveness so that it is more calculated and less indulgent, they can kill at seduction.

Endomorphs are also strong in the perceived aloofness department, (different than actual aloofness), owing to their disposition to avoid flamboyant gesticulation and facial expressions. An endomorph who is verbally engaged, but bodily disengaged, is sending just the right sort of mixed signals that women love and crave.

Where endomorphs are weak is in their neediness for approval and in their aptness to slip into “entertainment monkey” game. An endomorph has to be careful about being boxed into LJBF hell by girls who have desexualized his overt friendliness. My advice to an endomorph would be to shore up his weaknesses by focusing on adding edge to his joviality: say, by negging and teasing girls more than he’s comfortable doing. I would also tell him to watch for moments when he’s seeking approval. Endomorphs have to really train themselves to adopt a mentality of outcome independence and self-sustaining inner confidence. They also need to curb their habit to profusely compliment women. This will be hard for them, because endomorphs thrive on praise received and praise given. They are generous of heart, and this generosity, rewarded in fantasyland, works against them in the real world mating arena where good-looking women mercilessly cull the nice guys from the selfish jerks.

Endomorph game should play to his strengths and minimize his weaknesses. That means capitalizing on his ability to incite emotion in girls, and on his affability among people in larger groups. An endomorph can lock a girl in hard by focusing on connecting with her — his listening and sympathy skills are world class — but to get there, he first has to attract them on a deeper, animal level, and this will require channeling his sociability into a more seductive frame. He will be very good at sparking girls’ imaginations because his psychological locus is Epicurean in nature. Detailed and thrilling descriptions of food, adventure, fashion and vacations are his forte, and girls will glom onto that because the female mind is attuned to detail and pleasures of the flesh. An endomorph can also use his naturally slow-moving countenance to great effect: a fatter man can be seductive with the right body language, and slower is almost always superior to quicker, so the endomorph has a built-in advantage here.

Endomorphs are natural disqualifiers, even if they don’t know it. An endomorph has a refined taste in life’s pleasures, and he can use this taste to judge women for their appreciation of the things that he values. Most endomorphs are all too happy to allow women to disagree with their own love of the finer things, but a honed ability to stop accommodating women’s shit tests and to call them out for their provincialism will work to the endomorph’s benefit.

Endomorphs should dress sharp. The sloppy, casual look that a mesomorph or ectomorph can pull off will make an endomorph look like a homeless bum; a homeless fat bum. Endos need to accentuate their bigness and their sumptuousness; that means no tight t-shirts and no wifebeaters. A custom-fitted suit that emphasizes the barrel chest of the endomorph is a good call, as is any style that draws attention away from the gut and toward the chest and shoulders. Some endows can rock the Tommy Bahamas (the official sportswear of the fat man), but that is a personal call that depends a lot on chest and shoulder girth. The look you want to shoot for is “big man on campus who will dwarf his woman”. A lot of petite chicks like that physical dynamic. This is why you see so many tiny girls on the arms of powerlifters with huge round guts.

In summary, endomorph game should be adapted toward building value through social fearlessness, humor, deep rapport and savvy group set management. Endomorphs will rarely get AMOGed because they are so friendly and sincere (and lacking in threatening mesomorphic musculature) that they put other men at ease. Once endos are welcomed into a group, which usually happens quickly, they have to avoid the temptation to be a group plaything, and instead to focus on separating the target from her friends.

Endomorphs need to concentrate on teasing girls, sometimes harshly with decidedly non-friendly negs or DQ pushes, because their natural joviality (their “pull”) and neediness will cause girls to expect that behavior from them. And once girls can predict your behavior, the game is over. An endomorph has toremind himself to be serious at times, for his congenital joyfulness can ruin intensely seductive moments. Endomorphs should be proud that their god-given ability to make girls feel good about themselves is a critical skillset of seduction, but they can sometimes rely too much on this ability to win women’s attention, at the cost of getting dropped into the nice guy discount bin.

If you are an endomorph, your game goal should be: Mixed sets, more edge. Try using your natural skill at working a room to your advantage. Piquing a woman’s interest is easier when you’ve cut her short to go talk to another girl or another group of people.

Endomorphs must, most importantly, avoid the urge to get down on themselves for their fatness. Unless you are obese, a little bit of chunkiness is no big deal, AS LONG AS you carry it with confidence. (Note: does not apply to women.) If you are an extreme endomorph, consider weightlifting and dieting down to a reasonable size before hitting the field. But don’t use an extra 20 or 30 pounds as an excuse to be a shut-in. That way only leads to Jabbaness.

PS Endomorphs must avoid the neckbeard. Buy a goddamned razor and a mirror, you poofy popinjays!

MESOMORPH

Continuing this series about identifying the most responsive (or most accessible) game for your body type, this post will focus on the mesomorph.

The purpose of this series of posts isn’t to suggest that if your frame is built a certain way, you must run a certain kind of game, or you will fail miserably with women. The purpose is to point out that, if constitutional psychology is valid and somatotype is associated with personality, certain game techniques and strategies will be easier for you to learn and master than other game techniques. You will naturally excel at applying some game concepts, and naturally struggle applying other game concepts. While the founding principles of game are universal (because female sexual nature is universal), the details of game will vary in accordance with the context within which you find yourself, which can include elements such as race, culture, foreignness, obesity, sex ratio and your own inborn temperament.

Ultimately, this information is meant to be a useful adjunct to well-known game principles. If you know beforehand your innate personality strengths and weaknesses, you can take preemptive steps to shore up problem areas.

The mesomorph is one extreme of Sheldon’s three somatotypes, the two others being endomorph and ectomorph. Mesomorphs tend toward the ideal male physique, and prefer action and risk-taking over thinking and calculation.

The Extreme [Mesomorph] — Action

In endotonia the stomach was the focus of attention, but in mesotonia it is the muscles. The mesotonic is well-endowed with them, or to put it another way, the mesotonic’s muscles seem to have a mind of their own. They are always ready for action, and good posture is natural to them. They get up with plenty of energy and seem tireless. They can work for long periods of time and both need and like to exercise. They like to be out doing things. If they are forced into inactivity they become restless and dejected.

The mesotonic has no hesitation in approaching people and making known his wants and desires. The tendency to think with his muscles and find exhilaration in their use leads him to enjoy taking chances and risks, even when the actual gain is well-known to be minimal. They can become fond of gambling and fast driving and are generally physically fearless. They can be either difficult and argumentative, or slow to anger, but always with the capacity to act out physically and usually with some sort of history of having done so on special occasions.

This physical drive manifests itself on the psychological level in a sense of competition. The mesotonic wants to win and pushes himself forward. He is unhesitant about the all-out pursuit of the goal he seeks. Associated with this trait is a certain psychological callousness.

This outward energetic flow makes mesotonics generally noisy. They bustle about doing things and since their inhibitions are low, the attendant noise does not bother them. Their voices carry and sometimes boom out as if speech were another form of exercise. When alcohol reduces their inhibitions, they become more assertive and aggressive. When trouble strikes they revert to their most fundamental form of behavior and seek action of some sort. Mesotonics tend to glorify that period of youthful activities where physical powers reach their peak, or perhaps more accurately the period of youth that best symbolizes a sense of endless vitality and activity. This glorification of youth goes hand-in-hand with the early maturing of the mesotonic organism, both facially and muscularly. They look older than their chronological age. The extraversion of action that is so strong here goes together with a lack of awareness of what is happening on the subjective level. The quickness with which the mesotonic can make decisions is compensated for by a relative unawareness of the other parts of his personality.

The mesomorph is your classic aloof, asshole alpha male. He’s not trying to be an inconsiderate jerk (well, not always), he just is. Many naturals are mesomorphs, though they may not fit the ideal male body type. (For instance, the best natural I knew was a fairly short mesomorph.) The mesomorph has an innate temperament and psychology that is suited to approach-heavy pickup, and so he will have the shallowest learning curve if he is new to game. On paper, he seems like an unstoppable PUA machine, but in fact his type comes with many flaws, so don’t try to convince yourself that game is useless for you if you don’t have a mesomorphic physique.

First, as should be obvious, the muscular, broad-shouldered, mesomorph body is the most widely appealing to women. Given a roomful of one hundred women, the mesomorph will capture more approach invitations (come-hither eye play) than either the endomorph or ectomorph. But this appeal is shallow. A significant minority of women prefer leaner men than the typical mesomorph, and a smaller minority prefer “huggable bear” endomorphs. Furthermore, women’s initial attraction to men based on physical appeal is not nearly as unshakably hardened as men’s initial attraction to women with sexy figures and pretty faces. A woman will instantly lose her attraction for a mesomorph if he opens his mouth and lameness tumbles out. And women don’t feel near the same urgent, wall-climbing horniness for physically impressive men that men feel for physically impressive women.

Nevertheless, the relative ease with which mesomorphs get approach invitations means that, coupled with their natural extroversion and action jackson mentality, they will have the easiest route to meeting women and inducing an initial attraction, however potentially short-lived. This is an advantage that gradually accrues to a mesomorph’s store of self-confidence, resulting in a feedback loop that makes the meso more confident than his already elevated inborn confidence. Since overconfidence is the Moloko Plus of pickup, the mesomorph goes into each set with his guns blazing.

Because the mesomorph is a man of (occasionally thoughtless) action, direct game will be his bread and butter. He will feel most at ease, and most energized, running direct game rather than indirect game that involves a lot of push-pull, palm reading, or meandering chit chat. Mesomorphs will therefore excel at speed seduction — moving a seduction quickly to its sexual denouement — and they will be adept at venue bouncing, kino, escalation, deal closing, and out-AMOGing competition.

But the meso’s greatest strength is also his most vulnerable weakness. Mesomorphs’ love for action and escalation means that they are often bad at calibrating women’s receptiveness. The classic meso is the gung-ho military man who misreads a woman’s interest and bungles the pickup by being too aggressive and obstinate. The meso predilection to act first, think later, tends to make them impatient with women and their particular emotional needs, leaving the door open for a sly ecto or endo to swoop in and rescue the girl from “the meathead”.

The game stages where mesomorphs shine, then, would be the attraction stage and, to a lesser degree, the seduction stage. Their infectious physical confidence, “psychological callousness”, and bravado lure women, and their selfishness and strong will help seal the deal in the bedroom. But in between, mesomorphs risk losing it all. The meso is weakest during the comfort stage of a pickup. This is not the type of man who likes to sit on a couch in a dimly lit lounge, gabbing for hours with a girl about her hopes and dreams, running sequences of qualifications and disqualifications and playing games with his cellphone to increase the perception of his preselection by other women.

A mesomorph has to train himself to be better at reading women’s signals, and to be more refined at the art of manipulative pullbacks. He’s got the body language and the physical escalation nailed down; now he needs to work on his empathy and developing an attitude of scarcity to complement his transparent, take-charge approach mentality.

Mesomorphs in relationships need to be careful about letting their jealously control them, rather than controlling their jealousy to be released in manageable doses that maximally arouse their women. “Bemused mastery” is not an attitude that comes easily to action-oriented, quick-to-anger mesomorphs, and neither is self-possessed state control in the face of female drama. Many women, in fact, find it rather easy to manipulate mesomorphic men to do their bidding, which often leads to boredom for those women.

Mesomorphs’ low empathy and high self-aggrandizement impulse makes them natural neggers (whoa!) and teasers, and women will eat that up. But the meso has to be aware of the moment when it is time to switch from aloof teasing to intimate rapport, and this means a practiced ability to tame his need for action and results. A mesomorph who can effortlessly segue to showing a soft side is one of the most fearsome seducers known to exist.

Mesomorphs must avoid, at all costs, their tendency to grab ass. Every guy I’ve witnessed grinding on some fat bootied slut in a club has been a mesomorph. And rarely do I see these undomesticated mesos going home with their tormentors, unless she’s really ugly and desperate for a jackhammering.

You’d think that a mesomorph would do best in clubs and bars, where the noisy atmosphere and revved-up girls feed his already high energy level. But, ironically, mesos can do very well in, for instance, coffee shops, because there are so few action-oriented, bold men in those environments that the meso will shine in comparison. I rarely — and I mean like one out of one hundred visits — see a man cold approach or cold open a woman in a coffee shop (present company excluded). Most men are pussies. Curled-up, fetal, manboobed, hipster doofuses who can’t bring themselves to do more than flutter their eyelashes at girls they like the look of. The mesomorph with ambition in his heart and results on his mind will not think twice about swooping some babe pretending to type something vitally important to the continuance of civilization on her Macbook Air.

And it is this “living in the moment” — perhaps the greatest natural pickup advantage the mesomorph possesses — which is beloved by women. The underthinking meso never second guesses, never doubts himself and never suffers paralysis by analysis. He’s a doer. He can pass shit tests with ease because his head is locked into the action occurring in front of him. But he has to beware the pitfall of blowing himself out. That same proclivity to spontaneous action can lead him to misgauge women’s interest and overlook emotionally connecting with women. The mesomorph is the worst listener of the three male body archetypes, and it’s no coincidence that many of them are left at the end of the night shaking their heads about the “girl that got away”.

ECTOMORPH

This is the final installment of the body type-game type series, and here we will focus on ectomorphs, those men who have structurally thin, lean skeletal frames. (If you want to know how purely ectomorphic you are, just grab your wrist. Is there space left over? You’re probably an ecto.)

This post will likely generate lots of discussion, if only because, according to the poll in the first post of the series, a plurality of readers are self-identified ectomorphs. This shouldn’t surprise anyone; ectomorphs are the intellectual somatotype, and they would be drawn to logical discussions of very serious issues in venues that minimize social chaos.

According to Sheldon, ectomorphs:

[F]ocus on privacy, restraint and a highly developed self-awareness.

The associated temperament of the ectomorph is described by Sheldon:

The Extreme Ectotonic — Reflection

The outstanding characteristic of the ectotonic is his finely-tuned receptive system. His spread-out body acts like a giant antenna picking up all sorts of inputs. Sheldon calls the ectotonic a biologically extraverted organism, which is compensated for by psychological introversion. Since the whole organism is sensitive to stimulation, the ectotonic develops a series of characteristic strategies by which he tries to cut down on it. He is like a sonar operator who must constantly be wary of a sudden loud noise breaking in on the delicate sounds he is trying to trace. He likes to cross his legs and curl up as if he is trying to minimize his exposure to the exterior world. He tries to avoid making noise and being subjected to it. He shrinks from crowds and large groups of people and likes small, protected places. […]

His hypersensitivity leads not only to quick physical reactions but to excessively fast social reactions as well. It is difficult for this type to keep pace with slow-moving social chit-chat. He races ahead and trips over his own social feet.

Just as the endotonic loves to eat and the mesotonic loves action, the ectotonic loves privacy, and intellectual or mental stimulation. He needs shelter from excessive stimulation and time to sort out the inputs he has received, and connect them up with his own inner subjective experience, which he values highly. Self-awareness is a principle trait of ectotonia. The feelings of the ectotonic are not on display, even though they can be very strong, and so he is sometimes accused of not having any. When they are in a situation of dealing with someone who has authority over them or with someone of the opposite sex whom they are interested in, they often make a poor first impression. They are uncomfortable in coping with social situations where overt expressions of sympathy are called for or where general idle conversation is the norm, for example in parties and dinners where they have no intimate acquaintances.

The ectotonics are hypersensitive to pain because they anticipate it and have a lower pain threshold as well. They do not project their voices like the mesotonics, but focus it to reach only the person they are addressing. They appear younger than their age and often wear an alert, intent expression. They have a late adolescence, consider the latter part of life the best, and are future-oriented.

Very broadly speaking, ectomorphs are the beta male civilization builders and maintainers, (as is often the case with these kinds of overly broad generalizations, you should adjust for racial differences). Uncharitably, you could call ectomorphs nerds, spergs or wallflowers. Charitably, you could call them brooding, mysterious rebels. As with the endomorphs and mesomorphs, how people perceive you will vary according to how close you lie to the extreme for your somatotype, and how well you have personally managed your inborn traits to showcase your strengths and restrain your weaknesses. PUAs call this “building your identity.”

Physically, pure ectomorphs have it the worst. The muscular meso and the chunky (but not grossly overweight) endo will both do better at attracting approach invitations from women. On average, and taking women as a whole and winnowing their attraction triggers down to one metric, stick thin men are least desirable to women. However, most ectos are not stick thin; a fair proportion are lean with excellent muscle tone, even if they are not as big all around as mesomorphs. The lean but toned look is almost as attractive to women as the powerfully built mesomorphic look.

Given this female preference, pure ectos will see the most bang bang for their buck from hitting the weight room. You teenage guys who can’t put on muscle to save your lives should take heart: bodybuilding forums are fairly uniform in their agreement that by your early 20s, the muscle starts to arrive, if you stick to a lifting program religiously. Later in life, ectos can potentially clean up, because by then they have filled out while less diligent endos have gotten fatter and the mesos lacking self-discipline have gotten older-looking than their years.

As hinted at above, ectomorphs probably make up the majority of game material consumers because they are the ones who need the most help (being the most anti-social), and who are best suited for adapting informationally dense, written material into field practice. The ectomorph is a thinker, and that means his strength lies in analysis, systematic breakdown of variables, and application of gained knowledge. No one is better at taking apart group social dynamics than an ecto; paradoxically no one is worse at capitalizing on his social dynamic knowledge than the ecto.

For you see, the ectomorph’s greatest strength is also his worst crippling weakness: the dreaded condition known as paralysis by analysis. You really can overthink a situation, and ectos do it all the time. Ectos are victims of perfectionism; if they can’t get it 100% right the first time, they don’t bother trying at all. They are, in this respect, the total opposites of the action-oriented, live in the moment mesos and the devil-may-care, socially indulgent endos.

Knowing this, ectomorphs tend to excel at the comfort and seduction stages of pickup, and to flounder during the attraction stage. An ectomorph is naturally more at home talking one-on-one with a girl, away from the noise of boisterous groups and the threat of AMOGs. On a quiet sofa or a walk in a park, his incisive mind can find its best expression. An ecto is unparalleled as the king of mental connection and smooth talking; he can spin up great yarns and fantasy landscapes that make a girl feel a part of his world, and his seductive gaze pierces like a dagger, because when he’s got his girl alone and in his clutches, he’s in the soulmate zone.

And as a game strategist he is the equal of any master seducer. He will always know in the back of his head when the time is right to venue bounce, or to push a girl away, or to make a bedroom move. He knows this because he is good at collating information gleaned from past experience with women, and from observing naturals at work, and learning from it.

The game tactics which ectomorphs will find easiest to learn and employ include:

– Any one-on-one storytelling or psychological game playing. (e. G., the cube, palm reading, strawberry fields, etc.)

– Intense, bedroom seduction.

– Calculated pullbacks. (The ecto has no problem walking away from a set.)

– Preemptively heading off potential objections. (The ecto sees two steps ahead and two steps beyond.)

– Eliciting a girl’s values. (Ectos’ refined self-awareness can be channeled into awareness of others’ needs and desires.)

But ectomorphs also have major pickup flaws which they must address, or they will find the game of love to be mountain too high to climb. Some of these failings include:

– An immobilizing hesitancy to approach girls or open sets. Of the three male archetypes, the ectomorph will have the toughest time getting over his social fear of talking to strangers. If you are a pure ecto, consider teaming up with an accomplished, sociable player to help you get over your inclination to insulate yourself from real world human interaction.

– An inability to react promptly to shit tests. The ectomorph is hypersensitive, so shit tests tend to knock him off guard, and he will respond by turtling into his shell. Also, because the ecto “lives in his head” he has difficulty staying focused on the moment as his mind races ahead at dizzying speeds, figuring out the intricacies of whatever a girl is saying to him. Therefore, the ecto needs to work on reacting fast to upsetting changes of conversational tone, and one method that is particularly useful for him is the pregnant pause. Ectos can calm their roiling minds by stopping, dropping their thoughts, and just rolling with the moment. Practice with the pregnant pause will help him overcome his urge to have just the right reply for everything a girl tosses at him.

– Calibration. Ectos are almost as bad as mesomorphs at calibrating a girl’s interest level. The mesomorph miscalibrates because he charges into conversation at full steam, while the ectomorph miscalibrates because he’s too wrapped up in his thoughts to notice how a girl is actually responding to him. An ectomorph would do well to hone his listening ability, and one way to practice this is to repeat in his head the last few words that a girl said to him.

– Alpha male voice and body projection. Ectomorphs generally have beta body language and vocal pitch. This unfortunate tendency is not necessarily due to low status; many ectos just don’t like being the center of attention, and they modulate their voice and shrink their body as a consequence of that compulsion to avoid attention grabbing behavior. An ectohas to learn to carry himself like a meso or a sociable endo, if he wants to make good first impressions on women, particularly Western women who have all turned into thug-loving, r-selected whores. (I kid! Or do I?)

– Kino. Ectos are uncomfortable touching women. They have to make concerted efforts to kino escalate, or their overeager brains and undereager hands will betray them.

Flaws aside, ectomorphs can do really well with the various subphylum of scenester girls who pride themselves on their intellect and nonconformity. These girls like that a man “gets them”, and ectos who have trained themselves to listen well are adept at manufacturing the “gets them” perception. Some girls also lean more than the average girl toward an appreciation of mental connection, where an ecto will excel, although all girls are more emotional creatures than mental creatures, so ectomorphs should not be complacent about emotionally connecting with women.

Ectos would do well to drop a lot of sciency, jargony words from their social vocabulary, and take steps to learn to speak in an attenuated slang. The kind of humor and wit that chicks, even smart chicks, really love is terser and slangier than the typical ecto will be comfortable or familiar using. Learning to speak like this, if it doesn’t come naturally to you, requires a lot of real world, in field interaction hanging out with cool dudes. Intellectual wit is best in small doses, when it can be more fully appreciated.

Finally, the ectomorph’s Achilles’ heel — his trouble with living in the moment — is a flaw that can be rectified with awareness and practice. The key is to actively force himself to shut down his mind when out at a club or other venue. Simply telling himself out loud that he will go with the flow is sometimes enough to get him in the right frame of mind. He has to know that his extensive game knowledge won’t abandon him once he’s out in the field mixing it up with people. Another method for achieving this zen state of mind is to remind himself that he won’t reply to every conversational thread or shit test, however compelled he feels to do so. Skill at picking up conversational threads at random junctures, and staying away from those threads that are about to fizzle out, cannot be underrated. If this describes you, know that you don’t have to be “on” 100% of the time; often, it’s better to swerve away from a conversational roadblock rather than try to scale it.

OWNING A DOG IS TRAINING FOR OWNING A WOMAN

I was sitting on a bench in a compact, refurbished dog park that had been covered in a fake grass like Astroturf — call it Turdturf — upon which 15 or 20 dogs were frolicking and licking each others’ balls while their owners talked amongst themselves and tried to avoid stepping on the smaller dogs. After spending some time wondering where the dog piss drains in the fake grass, I poked my companion.

“Check out that guy over there. The guy with the boxer. His dog is totally owning him.”

In the middle of the park a khaki-wearing herb was being ritually humiliated by his burly boxer. The dog ignored him, disobeyed him, and generally made a nuisance of itself careening into other dogs and people and sniffing a multitude of crotches with tremendous gusto. The herb feebly tried to corral his dog, begging and pleading with it to behave, and the dog… well, I’m almost positive the dog laughed at him, if dogs can do such a thing. The dog had a look that said “Yeah, this tool gives me free food. What a chump!” It was a demonstration of pure mockery, dog owning owner.

The whole scene reaffirmed a belief I have that properly owning a dog is excellent training for properly owning a woman. The behavior of dogs and women is eerily similar, and their relation to man testifies to that.

Like dogs, women need to be led. They *want* to be led. In fact, though they will never admit it, women want to be owned by their men. (I loved that he was so powerful I was nothing. – O on her lover)

Like dogs, women will walk all over you if you let them.

Like dogs, women will test you for your alpha status the moment you show weakness. There’s nothing dogs and women loathe more than being adrift in a non-hierarchical relationship. They both need to slip comfortably behind you in an established pecking order. It is there they find deep, true happiness and contentment.

Like dogs, women need to be trained. Shit tests are essentially a woman telling you “Please train me to respect you.” Oblige her.

Like dogs, women respond best to strong verbal and nonverbal commands. If you stare down a dog, it will always turn away first, if it recognizes your authority. Women will do the same.

Like dogs, women will eventually take to the leash, metaphorical or literal.

Like dogs, women want to be told to roll over.

Like dogs, women will hump anything if you allow them.

Dog training is alpha training; keeping a dog in line and assuming the role of pack leader will redound to other areas of your life. The skills and mindset required to rule the dog pack are not much different than the game required to rule a woman. You will soon learn what it means to have a commanding presence when you are the owner of a naturally unruly dog.

I have no doubt that the herb with the disobedient boxer is a doormat in his relationship, if he is in one. I’m sure that, like his boxer shits on the carpet, his girlfriend shits on his soul. If you are a beta, my advice is to save the $5,000 you would spend on a seduction workshop and instead pick up a dog at your local shelter. Since you will not be sexually attracted to the dog, you will find it very easy to work on your alpha leadership skills with it. Then what you learn with the dog will carry over into your dealings with women.

PS: Has the Afghan hound always been the dog of choice of the upper class? I can see why. The dog looks snobby, and it never sniffs the ground.

Afghans keep their heads up when walking. It might as well be called the Alpha hound.

THE EASIEST WAY TO BANG A HOT CHICK

If you are a beta who lacks the game, attributes, or status to bed 8s and above there is hope for you. By choosing your targets wisely, you can experience the exquisite and unparalleled pleasure of having sex with a hot girl — the kind of girl normally reserved for the apex alphas at the top of the human food chain. The trick is in knowing how to identify the most responsive targets.

I’ve devised a search and seduce target designation system for finding the hottest girls most likely to give it up to a sub-alpha such as yourself. Each of the factors listed below corresponds to better odds that the hot girl who has that problem will date and bang you. As the “negative” traits accumulate, the odds of hot girl sex increase exponentially rather than linearly.

Over 25

Odds increase by: 10% for each additional year, -20% age 30, +30% ages 31 and up

Obviously, the window to take advantage of the Age-Leg Opening association is small, perhaps only 5 years, because past a certain age her legs will no longer open to the vagina of an 8, but a 6 or less. And if you’re going to settle for 6 vaginas, you may as well limit your efforts to young 6s. In the rare cases where a woman manages to stay hot into her 30s, expect the Age-Leg Opening association to temporarily reverse around the age of 30. This is because all single women experience a delusional reevaluation of their marketability when they hit the milestone of 30. They play hard to get one last time in hopes they can recapture the glory of 1`their youth. Of course, this phase ends quickly as she rediscovers reality and spinsterhood looms. After this brief but frantic period when she has gone through the five stages of cougar grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance — she’ll adjust her Leg Opening Quotient incrementally until she stops being invisible to men.

Single Mom

Odds increase by: 50% for the first kid (85% if a Down Syndrome kid), 20% for each additional kid

A hot chick’s kid will give you the second biggest bang for your buck (see below for the biggest hot pussy discount). Since it is ingrained in men to avoid investing their precious resources into the raising of another man’s spawn, especially if that other man was some badboy who stretched out her vagina and left a stargate for you to have frictionless sex, a woman who is raising a kid on her own due to poor judgment, getting dumped, or divorce (75% chance it was initiated by her) will be the most congenial date you will ever experience. There will be zero shit testing and she will have nothing but smiles for you. Her hand will be on your thigh within five minutes of meeting, and she will pay for your drink out of courtesy for the time taken from your busy schedule to meet her. A single mom who has the night free because her kids are at grandma’s is good to go before the first drinks arrive. They often have condoms in their purses, glove compartments, medicine cabinets, nightstands, and in a secret compartment behind that portrait of great-aunt Gertrude. You should definitely wear your own bulletproof condom with a single mom because you know you are dealing with a fertile woman and one who will be tempted to entrap you old school style. Flush the used condom immediately after you are done. They are that desperate.

Note: Avoid tripping over toys and landing on your erection.

Physical Deformity

Odds increase by: 20 – 150%, depending on severity of disfigurement

This is by far the most advantageous flaw a hot chick can possess. A perfect 10 with a physical deformity, even something trivial like a missing pinky toe, will devalue her own beauty. The worse the deformity, the lower her self-esteem will drop and the higher her character will rise. A 10 with a missing boob will think and act like a 7. Missing an entire leg? She’ll be a de facto 4. Hermaphrodite? Her secret shame will put her on the level of a morbidly obese smelly hausfrau. Naturally, you’ll want to focus on those disfigured women whose abnormalities don’t detract from their pretty faces or sexy bodies. The girl with the missing arm from this post qualifies. A girl with a moustache or steatopygia would not.

Note: Personality deformities have NO EFFECT on a hot chick’s self-appraisal. In fact, a seriously flawed personality may actually boost her ego, as she will continue to get attention from men no matter how poorly she behaves, and will assume it means, using chick logic, that her shitty attitude is what keeps them coming back for more.

Former Fatty

Odds increase by: 10 – 70%, depending on length and heft of fat phase

Yet another goldmine for the beta who wants to taste the forbidden fruit of exceptional pussy. A former fatty, by dint of her painful past dealing with the cold stares of indifference and sneers of cruelty, will be grounded and grateful for male attention. A former fatty’s mindset is still that of the fat girl she left behind – the mind changes slower than the body. The time to strike is when her memories are strong and her reconstructed body is tight. The fatter a former fatty was, the more appreciative she will be of your romantic interest. A 300 pound whale who slims down to a svelte 120 pounds will attack you sexually with the zeal of a released inmate let loose in a brothel after 20 years in the hole.

Caution: The longer a former fatty is skinny, the more her soul will twist into the corrupted spectre of a self-absorbed egomaniac princess. You’ll want to catch her before her horrible memories fade (think “Silence of the Heifers”), she swaps loyal down to earth friends for superficial hottie friends, and hundreds of betas throw themselves at her feet.

Recent Divorcee

Odds increase by: 20% if she filed for divorce, 40% if her ex filed for divorce

A recent divorcee wants to feel attractive again. She probably hasn’t had sex with her husband in years and relishes the prospect of intimacy with fresh cock. A divorcee is different than a rebound. Most hot girls on the rebound will keep their standards. A hot divorcee will lower them; she has been insulated and out of the dating scene so long that your fawning beta attention will be attractive to her. Double plus leg-spreading points if her husband left her in the middle of the night for a stripper half her age. She will crave your sexual desire. Expect to feel like the woman on any date with her.

Foreigner

Odds increase by: 60% if she is from a patriarchal culture (Russia), 30% if she is from a feminized culture (Sweden), 80% if she is from a dirt poor patriarchal culture and she’s trying to get a green card

The theory of hybrid vigor and the “expert from afar” psychological phenomenon makes hot foreign pussy very attainable for the average American beta male. Even interstate travel can increase the odds of a beta scoring pussy normally out of his reach, thanks to the automatic deference that girls give to strange men from faraway lands. (Hotel bar + traveling salesman = fling.) You will do very well with an East European green card whore who has little sexual experience with foreign men. The fact that East European women are significantly more beautiful than American women is just icing on the cake. With the right motivation and travel itinerary you could conceivably pull your first 10.

Note: Due to the hypergamous trajectory of feminized Western cultures where the hot women are accustomed to sharing the top 20% of men and the leftover betas are sniveling papoose-wearing spineless turds, your exotic foreign aura won’t be as effective at landing that bombshell Swede without supplemental alpha traits.

Conclusion

Beta, desperate, and settling is no way to go through life, son. You don’t need to fantasize what sex with a really hot girl feels like, anymore. By zeroing in on girls with any combination of the above characteristics, you can greatly improve your odds of banging quality pussy.

There aren’t many guarantees in life, but if you find a hot 29 year old, single Russian mom with four Down Syndrome kids, a superfluous clitoris and a missing engagement ring finger, who used to weigh 450 pounds, and whose husband divorced her yesterday before her citizenship was approved, sit back and relax, betaboy. Your job is done.

Happy hunting!

BETAS CAN FIND LOVE, TOO

Once a man understands that his power is a function of his environment and not an absolute value, he can begin to game the system and take advantage of market inefficiencies to score high quality pussy. Alphas are naturally dominant in their environment and so for them there is no need to learn how to pick up women; the affections of women are something they’ve always known. That is why asking an alpha for pickup advice is often a fruitless exercise. It’s better to simply observe him in action and model yourself after him. While books and forums and experience have taught me much, they all pale in comparison to the eye-opening enlightenment I received from my first mentor — an older male friend. At the time, I was 14 and he was 26. He was the cool-as-fuck older guy who let me get behind the handlebars for the first time in my life whereupon I promptly drove his motorcycle over a curb. Without missing a beat, he then taught me how to do donuts. The time I tagged along on one of his dates with a gorgeous grad student was the mental jolt I needed to set me on the path of righteousness.

Natural betas who were deprived of this mentoring and don’t or won’t put in the work on their own to learn how women operate and what they respond to still have options for happiness, but they will need to step off the hamster wheel and approach this advice with an open mind. Given that male power is conditional on the context in which it is exploited, here are my suggestions for how losers in love can turn their fortunes around without lowering their standards:

1. Travel to an economically depressed 2nd tier country like Russia or its East European neighbors where the culture is not too different and the women are known hot commodities and spend a couple months there. He should avoid mail order bride services, save his money up, and go live there for a while. This will reduce the chances of getting conned. He’d be smart to get CDs on learning Russian and listen to them in his car while commuting to his crappy soul-killing job. An average American beta with an average income, average style, who isn’t a drunkard, will get treated like a minor rock star in Russia, which, if the stories of men who have pioneered this route are true, really should be renamed Betatopia. PS: Stay away from Moscow. Stick to the sticks.

2. Not keen on the hassle of traveling and importing a first rate piece of ass? He can try scooping up the ones who shell out their own travel expenses and come here to the US. Step one: identify those places where au pairs hang out in his particular city. They will usually be in a bunch, giggling nervously in heavy accents, because au pair services send them to their overseas assignments in groups. The trick is to catch an au pair before she becomes aware of the true power of her beauty. Remember that many of these young women are leaving countries where the men, ugly underemployed trolls all of them, treated them like trash. Their self-esteems are in the basement. Getting any attention from an American beta is like gold dust sprinkled on their shattered egos. An American!

Interested in ME! The beta needs to get to these girls BEFORE she realizes that most American women are shrieking ballbusting self-absorbed harpies with serious BMI issues and that American men will put her on a pedestal. It doesn’t take long for a lifetime of trampled self-worth to shed like a chrysalis revealing the inner high maintenance princess inside. So to get to them before the American experience corrupts them the beta needs to find those au pair groups that are multi-ethnic. This is because the au pair services send them over in mixed groups. Their first few months will be spent socializing with au pairs from many different countries. Once they have settled into a routine and learned the ropes they will begin to hang out with girls from their own countries. A few months later, they will have one or two American girls in their social circle. By then, it is too late.

3. Similar to the above suggestions, a man having trouble picking up chicks should consider relocating to the heartland. His money will go farther, his style will be intriguing, and his public policy degree will be treated like a Certificate of Alphaness. Girls will be a little dumber and less worldly so his marginally witty jokes will get more mileage. He can probably afford a spacious house out there where a basement apartment was all he could swing in NYC. Nightlife will be refreshingly free of eurotrash and $12 drinks. Downsides: obesity epidemic, resentful good ol boys prone to violence, lower job opportunities, bastard children, smell of manure.

4. Lie. This option requires some creativity and total lack of moral fiber, but the beta who can pull off the ‘talented mr. ripley’ routine will gain access to the secret society of hot chicks. Convincingly lying about trips to the Himalayas, treasure hunting expeditions, brushes with death in the Congo, high stakes gambling with celebrities in the Caribbean, the stint spent in prison, or his life as a fashion photographer, and having the presence of mind to keep the ruse up for months will get him laid. Downside: forget about long term relationships.

5. Hit on damaged goods. Women who have been through the emotional ringer are more likely to appreciate the beta’s honest, straightforward, naive propositioning. Some women need to get burned more than once to learn any lessons, but eventually even the most die-hard player-lovers grow weary of the hurt. Recent divorcees, lonely housewives, single moms, and former hookers with a heart of gold are good targets. Downsides: STDs, kids, short shelf lives.

6. Castration. Nothing removes neediness like zero sex drive.

THE UNDERCOVER ORBITER STRATEGY

Beta males who get stuck in the friend zone (“LJBFed”) with women are rightly mocked for their self-defeating clinginess and the burden of their blue balls. But the strategy — if it can be called that — to befriend girls that one would like to fuck must have some utility for some men some of the time, or it wouldn’t exist in the state of nature. And, if one observes women through the years, there are those beta male orbiters who do manage, through sheer force of persistence or ungodly patience for a stroke of luck to come their way, a tender five seconds of intimacy with their female friends which the girls immediately regret afterward.

So you might say the undercover beta male orbiter strategy is extremely long-term, with no guarantee of sexual closure. It’s a painfully slow and laborious process for extracting sexual favors from girls, so why then do some egregiously betas do it? Well, because for these kinds of weak men the pain of the subversive orbiter strategy is less painful than the pain of outright rejection from busting a move that would destroy all their hopes and the delicious uncertainty that acts as mental lube for their masturbatory daydreaming.

However, if approaching and hitting on girls with sexual intention is simply out of your realm of possibility, then there are ways to conduct your undercover orbiter strategy that will maximize your odds of a bang with the torment of your dreams. I lay them out here.

– Always talk about the girls you are dating, fucking, or seeking same from to your girl “friend”. Do so in a way that does not seem try-hard; that is, offer it up like an afterthought to some other topic that triggers the segue.

– Limit your friendzone time to drinking, shows, art exhibits, and house parties. Try to avoid shopping or other quintessentially girlie or best gay boyfriend activities. The object is to do friendly things with her that mimic real dates, while avoiding doing those things with her that strengthen her impression of you as “one of the girls” (who happens to have a penis, if the rumors are true).

– Immediately and without qualification change the subject when your girl “friend” begins talking about a guy she likes, or the dudes she’s fucking or wants to fuck. Once you go down that road, there’s no turning back from eternal LJBF hell. She will never see you as a sexual creature if you are willing to listen to her sob stories about other men plowing her clean.

– Don’t make a production of her wistful musings about other guys, though. Don’t change the subject by exclaiming your refusal to listen to her dating life; doing that opens her to suspicions that you really like her, and if your Undercover Orbiter strategy is to work, you can’t put yourself in a position of needy weakness. Better to change subjects by simply changing them, as if you didn’t even hear her comment about the serial killer she really wants to boff who offed her twin sister.

– You’re going to want to invoke feelings of latent jealousy as much as possible. A girl “friend” that you are orbiting may not consciously perceive you as a potential lover, but when she sees you holding court with other girls, or flirting with one of her friends, her instincts will kick in and she won’t be able to control a growing desire for your preselected malehood.

– Use her as a target for practicing your teasing skills. A platonic girl friend (but you know better, don’t you, tiger) presents an excellent opportunity for honing your cocky teasing skills. And a welcome bonus is that she may start to want you after all your gentle insulting.

– Once in a while, she’s going to unload that “I fucked a hot dude last night” conversation bomb. Do not react negatively, even though you will feel intense burning jealousy mixed with disgust. In fact, do not react at all. Raise an eyebrow, and say something along the lines of, “Tell me more when the wedding date is set.” The idea is to ridicule her idea of a fulfilling dating life. More good replies: “Your parents would be proud”, “Hey, congratulations, you magnificent slut!” (say this with a shit-eating grin), “This is news?”

– Your one advantage, if you can call it that, is that you are the guy who is “there for her” when times are tough and she needs a shoulder to cry on. Occasionally, like when Jupiter aligns with Uranus and her oxytocin levels are off the charts, a girl will feel strong intimate feelings for the emotionally available and sensitive beta male. That’s when you leap in. You’ve been laying the groundwork for months, perhaps years, and now it’s time to cash in your “terrific guy” chips for a shot at her weepy vulva. Bust your move by gently stroking the back of her hand for hours. Progress to giving her many more hours of cunnilingus when you’ve gotten an unambiguous green light for bedroom intimacy. (Your green light will need to be unambiguous, because pushing hard for sex over her coy protestations will strike her as terribly incongruent with your personality, and she will recoil.) Finally, be prepared for waves of regret to wrack her mind in the morning, or even as soon as when the tip of your penis grazes her labia. Allow that she will need this time to regret her actions, and take the necessary precautions to avoid a feminism-inspired legal imbroglio by wiring your place with audio and video recorders the day before she arrives. You can never be too safe.

– Finally, preemptively dump her after the first time you bang her. Yes, that’s right, unceremoniously dump the girl of your dreams, your White Womb. As her confirmed beta orbiter, there is little chance she will want more sex with you after her moment of weakness (that’s what she will think it is), let alone a relationship, if you do not take steps to push her in that direction. And pushing her in that direction means pushing her away from you. There’s nothing more infuriating, and hence, more alluring, to a woman than a man who has inexplicably made himself less available to her after sex. Especially when that man has spent so much time prior being the guy she could count on. This is script-flipping on steroids. You must make her stop seeing you as her reliable, sensitive, asexual friend, and that means you need to start becoming less reliable, less sensitive, and more sexual. A preemptive dumping is just the strong medicine a girl “friend” needs to being the healing of her “regretiness”. Don’t do it the very next morning, but don’t wait too long either. You have to get the jump on her before she hits you with the “I don’t want to ruin our friendship” sermon. Timing is critical. You want to be the bearer of that message before she is.

– If you are slow to act, and she manages to “dump” you first, you have a counter maneuver. Agree with her. “Yes, this was a mistake. We need to stop so we can remain friends.” (Never mind the bizarre logic of this statement; with women, emotions are what matter.) Then, in the days immediately following, see her once, and then cut off all contact for a few weeks (or months, as the circumstances require). Cutting off contact means taking a full day or two to reply to her texts or vmails or IMs, and not making a big deal about it when she inquires why you are being distant. Act as if she is the one imagining things are wrong between you two.

– This is hamster manipulation of the highest order. You are the one instigating the Distancing Protocol, while blaming her for perceiving something that’s “all in her head”. This contradictory tactic spares you from leaving an impression of butthurtness, and keeps her in a constant state of self-doubt. From such fertile psychological ground sprouts the chaser-chasee inversion algorithm, a seduction ploy that is the special sauce which underlies every womanizer’s exotic power over their prey.

THE PERFECT CHRISTMAS GIFTS FOR YOUR GIRLFRIEND(S)

Let’s face it, gift giving is a chore for most men. After the lustful glow of a relationship has worn off (2 weeks), men find little joy shopping for acceptable gifts, purchasing them, and giving them to their girlfriends. This is because men know that, in reality, gift giving is the danegeld we pay to women to put off for a few months any soul-searching emotional meltdowns. Fact: Men could do without the obligations, crass consumerism and bogus bonhomie of the holidays entirely as long as the heavy drinking and eating weren’t scotched.

In this spirit, here is a guide for getting your girl the optimal (and by “optimal”, I mean “most likely to secure you an eggnog-slicked blowjob) gift this joyous Christmas season. (This guide applies as well to you lonely revelers of also-ran holidays like Hanukkah and Eid. Kwanzaa is too silly for consideration.)

The quality and type of optimal gift to give will depend on the momentousness of the holiday or occasion being celebrated and the seriousness of the relationship you have with the girl at the time of the holiday. Generally speaking, birthdays and anniversaries require more romantic, thoughtful gifts, while Christmas and its spin-offs are a time to indulge your inner child on gifts that are fun and show some of your personality. In short, romantic gifts showcase your attentiveness to what she wants, while fun gifts showcase your creativity and aspects of your personality. Christmas is usually more fun to shop for gifts because of this reason; expectations are mercifully constrained, and you can chill out free from the pressure of finding that perfect engraved bracelet which says “I love you when I’m plundering your body”.

To help the gift-buying process along, think of the optimal gift not as a gift to her, but a gift to you — the gift of ensuring that she will put out for another three months, hassle-free.

The Chateau Gift-Buying Guide

If she is a mistress:

Something perishable, like a dinner or bouquet of flowers. You don’t want evidence of your infidelity lingering on either you or her.

Upside: Keeps her expectations low. If you give her expensive stuff she’ll assume you’re thinking of leaving your wife to be with her.

Downside: A mistress always has you by the balls, unless you have managed the trick of persuading your wife to the spiritual benefits of polygyny. Go cheap on the gifts and she may show up at your front door at 2am with a bag of candy.

If she is a Christmas Eve one night stand:

A six-pack of Michelob Light.

If she is three-week old fresh pussy:

Be careful! Many a man has learnt* a painful financial lesson when his loins were in charge of his credit card. Best bet: don’t buy the potential slut anything. At three weeks, she could still be fucking her ex, or flirting with the bartender she thinks she has a shot with. If you must buy something, make it goofy and cheap, like a collection of Silly Bandz. A goofy cheap gift says all the right things to a girl who is still feeling you out for your alpha cred. She will know you aren’t emotionally invested in her, and this will kickstart her hamster to raise your value and spin a storyline that has her chasing you, instead of the other way around.

*Last night I bangt a girl.

If she is a fling (you’ve been dating for fewer than three months, and plan to keep it that way):

For birthdays, tickets to a show for a band both you and her like. Use her as a pawn to flirt with hipster chicks at the show.

For Christmas, a scarf and a bottle of Chivas. Drink until she’s hot and/or interesting.

If she is in the three to four month limbo between a fling and a girlfriend (and you’re not sure if she’s the one):

For birthdays, tickets to a show for a band she likes but you don’t necessarily like. Use the flirting hipster chicks as pawns to raise her sexing temp.

For Christmas, a stuffed animal with a homemade card (illegibly written) tucked into its arm. Feeling extra generous? Wrap the scarf you bought for her around the stuffed animal’s neck.

If she is your girlfriend, i. e. #1 crush:

For birthdays or anniversaries, bracelet or necklace (stay away from rings; the association is too strong) if you are a beta. A puppy if you are a greater beta. A hot cocktail dress with accompanying lingerie if you are an alpha. A homemade mix tape if you are a super alpha. Play her a song you wrote on your guitar if you are an emo alpha. Airline tix to Kiev, if you want to give her a gift that you’ll both enjoy.

For Christmas, ditch the conventional trinkets of romantic servitude in favor of fun and funny. Buy her a print of that awesome Kramer painting. Frame some of your best photos to hang on her wall (this serves the insidious dual purpose of continually reminding her of you should you two break up). Get her a collection of movies you know she likes. Or Wii foreplay games. Buy her some wicked “Eyes Wide Shut” masks for her bookshelf (or bedroom play). One caveat: Never buy a girl shoes. You won’t get it right, and she’ll resent you for robbing her of a chance to go shoe shopping.

Gift giving for girlfriends is a minefield. If you play the long game, you don’t want to make a habit of giving expensive or hard-to-acquire gifts, because that will raise her expectations and thus make her intolerable to live with two years down the road. Multiply her insufferable entitlement complex by ten should you make the mistake of marrying her. Remember that a girl will evaluate not just your worth, but her own worth as well based on the priciness or thoughtfulness of the gifts you give her.

Maxim #87: The more expensive or thoughtful the gift you give a girl, the greater the risk that she will subconsciously begin to think she is too good for you.

Corollary to Maxim #87: If you are dating out of your league, or you are dating a young hot babe in her prime, you should do the exact opposite of what everyone will tell you to do — *don’t* buy her expensive gifts. Be particularly wary of advice from women. No woman in the world is capable of thinking clearly or impartially on the matter of “acceptable” levels of male provisioning. Even old, fat hausfrau hogs will expect mountains of jewels in offerings from men.

Set the alpha tempo early by dispensing your gifts infrequently and unpredictably. Avoid buying big ticket items like jewelry or superlatively romantic emblems like large bouquets of roses if she still has high dating market value. (One rose is cool, though.) Grateful men give expensive gifts, but grateful men don’t excite women. Be an ungrateful man. Be a Skittles man this holiday season.

A girl who has options simply will not appreciate expensive gifts like a girl who is desperate for your love. In fact, expensive, ego-stroking gifts can shut off the tingle spigot and spur a girl to reevaluate her options on the open market. The way to nip this female neural compulsion in the bud is to frequently pull up short in your indicators of affection for her. An example of an excellent HIOA (humbling indicator of affection) is a pair of tube socks stuffed with Hershey kisses.

If she’s your aging wife in a country with divorce laws that favor the husband:

Nothing.

If she’s your aging wife in the USA:

Refinance the mortgage to buy her the moon.

If she is girl #3 in your harem:

Nothing. If you can swing an open harem without consequence, profligate gift-giving will only undermine your hard work. Instead, treat your girls to what they always get — the gift of your jackhammer. (Exception: when building a harem, it sometimes helps to play one girl off another by selectively giving them gifts of varying quality.)

If you’re trying to dump her:

A toaster oven. Or kitty litter if you’re a cheap bastard.

THE TWO EXCEPTIONS TO GAME

If I had to distill the essence of all the hate and doubt that is a regular feature of the comments on this blog, it would read like this:

“Game doesn’t work, and if it did you’re a loser for having to learn it to pick up girls because alpha males (who, by the way don’t exist except in your imagination) don’t make any effort to attract women, and anyhow the only girls that would fall for it are low self esteem bar skanks who wouldn’t give you the time of day because you’re a phony they will see right through. Try being yourself if you want a real woman to like you, except that will never happen because you are a celibate beta loser.”

It is, of course, self-contradictory nonsense. The average hater cannot string three sentences together without refuting what she (and they are usually shes) said in the first sentence. Their logic is so muddled that toying with them until I drive them insane with spittle-flecked rage has become something of a fun hobby for me.

But because I am a decent and kind person of magnanimous temperament, I will throw the haters a bone in this post. There are, indeed, two specific situations where you, as a regular, fat part of the bell curve man, do not need game to make a girl swoon. I will tell you what they are, but first, a little context is necessary.

Why do the haters offer up so many trite and transparently false objections to game to begin with? Are they trying to confuse us, or themselves? Have they been burned in the past by men doing to them exactly what I write about here, and thus project their angry bitterness on the symbolic manifestation of their real life pain, namely me?

Or do they really believe the idiocy they preach? Are they… TRUE BELIEVERS in the conventional wisdom school of JBY (just be yourself)? Is it possible, in other words, that in their own lives they met and fell in love with men who won them over running NO GAME AT ALL, natural or otherwise?

So… what motivates the haters? Answer: all of the above.

I suspect a few haters really do live in a lala land relatively free of the sort of easily observable human mating machinations that confound 99.9% of the rest of humanity, and thus can’t comprehend the reality of male-female psychological differences or the influence that game exerts over female attraction and courtship. They live in a platitude bubble; but like all bubbles, it will eventually burst.

Which brings us to the two exceptions to game.

The girl you are dating is head over heels in love with you.

When a girl loves you so deeply that she wants to see you every day, and gets nervous when your text replies are delayed five seconds too long, you are in the DO-NO-WRONG ZONE, my friend. The DNW zone is a magic land where you can fart and belch and scratch yourself in the genital region and show up late (or early) for everything and buy shit for her all the time and cuddle for hours after sex and let her plan every date and dress in gym shorts and pit-stained t-shirts all the time and “yes, dear” her to death and constantly praise her beauty and whine like a beta bitch when you get a mosquito bite AND SHE WON’T LOSE AN IOTA OF ATTRACTION FOR YOU. She will happily take your deflated castrati ballsack slaps to the face and beg for more. You are a TEFLON LOVE GOD; no bad behavior sticks to you. You can be quite literally a NO GAME HAVING CHUMP and she will still think about fucking you every minute of the day.

Sounds like paradise, right? There’s a catch — this magic window only lasts about three months, after which if you do not shed your pathetic beta habits and step up your game, you WILL find her slowly and inexorably withdrawing her love and sex from you until one day you are wondering when such a good thing went so wrong.

So, you will need game before and after the 3-month DNW zone, but not during, if she is truly madly in love with you. Love… fuck yeah!

The girl you are dating is two or more points below you in sexual market value.

This is cut and dried. Want to “be yourself” with a girl? Date a warpig! She will put up with EVERYTHING and ANYTHING and never bitch once. You will need to put in ZERO effort to keep such a woman satisfied. No game, no nothing. I know men who slum it for this very reason, and while I personally find that lifestyle incomprehensible and utterly distasteful — I mean, you may as well become a monk since you’ll be living a life completely devoid of any beauty or hedonistic pleasure — it does lend itself to a certain simplicity in managing affairs and obtaining the necessary freedom to pursue alternative pleasures. MMO playing sperg tards take note.

The downside with this scenario is that you have to date at least two points lower than your market value equivalent if you want a game-free dating experience that makes few demands on your time or energy. So for instance, if you are an 8, you need to date down to at least a 6 to enjoy the fruits of a drama-free relationship. If you really don’t like women acting out like women, and you want to be able to wallow in your clingy betaness without learning a lick of game, you will probably need to date lower than two points down.

The exact mechanism of the chick market value-game requirement nexus deserves further explication in a handy chart.

She is…

% game required to keep her interested

>=1 point higher than you

100%

At your level

90%

1 point lower

60%

2 points lower

10%

>=3 points lower

-% (reverse game)

Interesting phenomena appear when you dumpster dive so low that you enter reverse game territory. For example, if you are a 7 male and you date a 4, not only will you need NO game to keep her attracted for a long while, but running any sort of game can actually push her away from you. The 4 will feel she doesn’t deserve you and will be on pins and needles with you all the time, regardless of how you treat her. Running game will then send her into a vicious downward spiral of self-doubt and neediness so crippling that she will preemptively dump you to prevent a night alone overdosing on pills and cutting your name into her forearm. To keep the 4 in line, paradoxically, requires almost as much effort as keeping a hot girl into you — except instead of game you have to run the opposite of game on the 4. You have to beta yourself to the max; cards, gifts, compliments, slow and attentive lovemaking, hours of cunnilingus, super snuggles, etc. So there are diminishing returns to the strategy of dating down to avoid putting any effort into relationships. Not to mention diminishing boner hardness.

The ultimate score for the no-game, no-life having beta chump who hates the idea of working to change himself to get better quality women is the very low value woman who falls in love with him. Imagine a nasty, fat cape buffalo — one of Obsidian’s exes, for instance — who cries a little when she thinks of you. Or a single mom on the cusp of sexual irrelevance who forgets to pick up her kid from his ghetto school because she’s doing her nails and febrezing her pussy in anticipation of you coming over that night for dinner. When you’ve got shitty goods falling in love with you, dating becomes one giant lounge chair in which to lazily recline and be fed moldy grapes all day long. Yeah, you can barely get it up with women like that, but at least you can rip a wet fart in their faces, pull WoW all-nighters, and forget their birthdays and never pay a price for it — and tell everyone within earshot that getting “hot chicks” was really easy for you, so those other guys learning game to find good women must be losers.

With obesity and single motherhood rampant, more American men than ever are availing themselves — intentionally or not — of the dating down option. So while game may be more necessary than ever to land that genuinely hot babe, for increasing numbers of men game and the knowledge contained therein are simply not on their radar. Which may explain why we are currently witnessing such a growing effete chorus of manginas, pedestalizing evangelicals, and limp-wristed SWPLs parroting the feminist and Iron John shibboleths. They aren’t trying to convince us so much as they are trying to convince themselves of the awesomeness of their fat ass and bastard spawn-towing lovers.

Some of the few true believer haters living in lala land that I wrote of above likely fall into the category of people dating easy-to-please losers that they have tricked themselves into rationalizing as good mate choices. (Some of the haters are truly in the midst of love and can’t think straight without a gauzy filter Disney-fying their saccharine musings.) Perhaps for them, their beta soulmates appeared — warts and all — and they settled, wondering disingenuously and retroactively why people make such a big deal of finding someone. So when you hear their lame jeremiads against game, translate that as an admission that they are either a) naturals who aren’t smart enough to reflect on what they are doing right, or b) bitter bitches and betaboys trained in the art of justifying their crappy love lives.

Men without fame or vast wealth who want to date and fuck hot women need to know game. It’s as simple as that. There’s no such thing as a free lunch. Men who don’t care about porking the flabby wet hole of some she-beast will never understand the need for — or the truth of — game, for to understand it is to understand the miserable depths of their own lives, and that is a dark road most are not willing to travel. The low value women who love these men will likewise never understand game, and will lash out at those who do. Ironically, their garbage lives insulate them from the redemption that exists just beyond their pitiable horizons.

THE LIMITS OF GAME

Game is now packaged, marketed, and taught to tens of thousands of men in the US. At the rate the major businesses are growing and the books are selling, it’s possible that 10 million or more American men will have some knowledge of the fundamentals of game within a few years. This is a not-insignificant number. A percentage of those men will put forth the effort and apply what they’ve learned to their dating lives. When a critical love-em-and-leave-em juncture is reached, I believe the country will go through another social revolution similar to the great upheaval of the 1960s. What lies beyond is anyone’s guess, though I have my personal theories.

The art of seduction is not a new discovery, but it’s transformation into a science that can be executed in the field to produce relatively reliable results is new. If Voltaire were alive today he would recognize a familiar scene of thousands of men talking away their ugly faces to bed their queens of France, but what would strike him as novel is the calculated efficiency and cooperative effort with which these 21st century voltaires, tools of science in hand, eviscerate and demystify the age-old quest of winning a woman’s heart and spreading her legs. I imagine he would be saddened that the beauty and grandeur of the chase had been stripped to its bones and displayed textbook-like for the edification of legions of aspiring seducers.

The rise of the era of Game is not hard to explain. Particular social conditions in conjunction with fresh knowledge and rapid information transfer practically guaranteed a new world order of more cads, less dads. Ironically, feminism helped midwife this beast. The free love anti-trust breakup of women’s monopoly over sex and their increased financial independence dissolved the primary pillars of marriage. The wheels were set in motion, yet the Sexual Revolution 2.0 didn’t kick into high gear until the mid 1990s when some very astute and horny guys found in the teachings of darwinistic evolutionary psychology the blueprint for getting what they wanted from women.

A shortcut had been discovered. Now, instead of toiling for years as a cog in the machine, giving til it hurt, to win the heart of a marriageable woman in a socially-approved manner, men were, in effect, mimicking the traditional alpha male through a process of data compression. The confident body language and cocky humor of the CEO or BigLaw sleazebag could be had by the common man for pennies on the dollar.

Most men scoff at this. It takes many demonstrations by pioneers before the average guy will lose his long-held beliefs about how the world works. Even those guys who know about game and have immersed themselves in it like a religious follower at a tent revival find it difficult to change their old ways. For now, the status quo continues to be the default assumption. Marriage, rigged as it is against men in its current configuration, is still the norm people aspire to. And that is where game (to date) has fallen short; it is a great tool for pickup but needs refining for application in long term relationships.

A lot of pie in the sky acolytes of game miss the bigger picture. There are some very immutable laws of human nature that the best game in the world won’t circumvent. Age is one of them. A90 year old man will not score 20 year old coeds on the strength of game alone. He’ll need compensating factors, in massive quantities. Fame and vast wealth are proven sexual value enhancers. Without game, a man would need a steadily increasing pot of money or accumulating social status to satisfy his urge to screw young women. With game, he can afford to slack off a certain amount on the traditional attractiveness measures. In a sense, game is like an extra 5 inches in height or $100K in salary — it gives a man a big leg up in the mating wars.

By age 50, the decrepitude of mitochondrial degeneration will really begin to hinder a man’s ability to score. Women under 30 will not take his flirting seriously any longer. At this time, the amount of power (in the form of money) he’ll need to continue attracting younger women will rise exponentially. In graph form, it would look like this:

For women, their version of game, wealth, social status, and power over men are dependent on one necessary variable: her beauty. Once that goes, (and it usually goes faster for them than it does for men), they are shit out of luck. But for the brief window of time they have their beauty, they hold in their hands the power of the gods.

Since women cannot do much about their looks other than plastic surgery and, marginally, makeup, they have to be more cognizant than men of their time left to secure for themselves the best deal on the sexual market. Time is no friend to anyone, but to women it is especially cruel. When I see mother-daughter duos shopping at the mall I’m always stunned they are related. There isn’t a better, or sadder, advertisement for trading up.

Although a woman’s looks primarily define her sexual marketability, feminine personality and a willingness to experiment sexually count as well, but those factors only work synergistically with youth and beauty. Women who’ve hit the wall can wear dresses every day, learn the art of coquettish flattery, and carry a suitcase full of perverted sex toys, but it will be in vain. Men will look past her at the younger versions of herself. Older women (between 30 and 45) who still have a few years of serviceability left in them can compete against the younger competition by putting out right away. Nevertheless, this is a temporary fix. Any man worth having will get his rocks off with the cougar and save his commitment for the kitten. A graphical representation of the market constraints women operate within would look like this:

While game is the next step in the evolution of relations between men and women, it is not an alien technology with diplomatic immunity from human nature that will yield results for everyone under every circumstance. Street bums are not suddenly going to start banging quality pussy, though they may improve their meet to lay ratio with soup kitchen volunteers. For the man who truly wants the life that most men dream about, a multi-front attack improving his finances, physical well-being, and game, with one eye on the ticking clock, is the only way to go.

WHY GAME IS IMPORTANT FOR FATHERS

A reader emailed a heartbreaking story to the Chateau. I reprint it here in the full because there is so much in it that could serve as lessons in life, alphaness and fatherhood. As you read it, prepare to cringe. Do you see a little of yourself in the father? In the son?

******

I really don’t know who else I could write to about this.

Today I was out for lunch with my dad. Sushi, as it was. My father isn’t the most assertive man, I’ve come to realize. but when this half-baked early 20’s Asian in skater jeans and ray ban corrective glasses doesn’t bring us our food until we ask about it a half hour later, and still gets it wrong, and then continues to delay most of our food we have to leave before we get to eat the half of it. I was ready to get in the face of the woman at the register, but i thought it was my dad’s place to do so, since he was buying and he is my father. but he bumbled up to the counter,

“um, excuse me, our food was late and we didn’t get to eat it all…” He trailed off. The woman behind the counter looks up with her eyes glazed over, and gives him the bill.

“no, no, i don’t know if I should pay full price…”

she points to the bill which says (10% off -2.59) BEFORE tax.

so he paid the 30 dollar bill with his two dollars off. i was thoroughly embarrassed. but it was worse. as I’m trying to ignore him, hoping he makes a bigger stand, he touched his hand to my face. it took me a second to realize that this was a playful slap.

“what was that?” I knew what it was. he had such repressed aggression that he needed to let it out through momentary displays of dominance over his 18-year-old son.

“I just hit you.” he said in a goofy snorting voice, looking at the ground. still in front of the cashier. this was all to win the approval of a 5-foot Asian woman in a tank top because he couldn’t stand up to her.

and then there’s my mom, the opposite. imposing, commanding, domineering, unbelievable condescending. she’s a executive director of a research facility. she actually says the only way to get along with her is to say you understand what she’s saying and leave it alone. of course, she can’t see that that’s batshit crazy.

They’re divorced of course.

The issue is, I’m their child. They’re both too deep in their own delusions to even notice that they’re destroying me. and so are my friends. I feel like I’m getting sucked into it. I’m submitting to my mom, when i used to make her laugh when she was trying to tell me what I’ve done wrong. I finished high school, with no motivation to continue my education. I spend most of my free time in front of a computer. I work a shitty job that I can’t even focus at. I haven’t had sex in months. when I’m at a party I’m more self conscious than I’ve ever been in my life. I can’t hold a conversation like i used to.

my friends suck, AND I CAN’T STAND THE GIRLS I MEET I’ve had sex with girls I don’t actually like, and it’s boring as hell.

I’m losing my wit, I’m losing my figure, I’m losing my ability to be extroverted, I’m losing my will to live.

how do I stay afloat? why should I stay afloat? A sea of bullshit smells just as bad when you’re on the top of it.

how can I stop this death spiral when there’s nothing I want to hold onto?

I’m hoping for words of wisdom, but putting my long-winded whining in its proper place could be just as helpful.

******

Brutally bare. You’ve just had an insider’s look at the sordid details of a beta father’s life, and the wake of destruction such betaness leaves on the psyches of those around him — his son, his ex-wife and himself, not to mention the automatic disrespect it engenders in strangers. If you are a man and this story doesn’t reach out and punch you in the sternum, you have no life experience and no heart. A better advertisement for learning game to overcome beta weakness I can’t imagine.

Betaness isn’t some grand scheme or bodily disorder. Betaness manifests in the little things, like a father’s inability to square up to a waitress for bad service or his repressed anger played out in subtle dominance moves over his son. When we speak of game being a lethal tool to lift a man up from betaness, we mean it is the little things that game fixes. Forgetting this leads one to easily scoff at game as some kind of magic elixir or cult hypnosis. But focus on the tiny details, fix them one by one, and suddenly a new man appears before you, almost like magic.

If you are a father and you don’t approve of game as a means to pick up women, at least recognize its transformative power to improve your relations with your wife and children, particularly any sons you may have. Your son looks up to you as a leader and a masculine icon, almost despite yourself. When you renege on that implicit promise, he becomes disoriented, even self-loathing. If you are divorced, your son’s time with his cunty domineering single mother will only worsen his state of mind. As the country veers into a dystopia of single momhood and lonely, sackless beta divorcees, expect to see more sons with stories like the one told above. Nothing good can come of it.

Knowing this, learning game is practically a vital imperative. Maybe you can live with yourself as a sniveling little beta shit who can’t chew out — or at least neg — a young Asian chick who deserves it because you get all flustered in her presence, but can you live with the pain and embarrassment it causes your son?

Readers generally fall into two camps with regards to the ability of the typical man to understand and apply game. Some believe attractiveness to women is a genetic bestowal, while others believe game, i. e. charisma, can be learned by any man. The answer is somewhere in the gray middle. Yes, some men are born with an incipient natural charm and others are born with the requisite intelligence to parse game concepts, and these men will excel at learning game far beyond what an omega will get from it. Yet there are thousands, maybe millions by this point, of men who have seen improvements in their love lives and their family lives accrue from the blessings of game. These men did not start out with Class A genetic endowments. Their very existence proves that sheer willpower — the will to mold their environments, and themselves, to their advantage — can mean the difference between being the father in this young man’s story and being a better man his son would be proud to call dad.

Stories like the above show that betaness is not solely, or even primarily, a genetic curse. A father’s actions have real repercussions on his son’s trajectory in life. The father in the story acted horribly beta and his son was aware of it. His low status behavior left a lasting imprint on his son’s soul, and as a result the son’s self-conception has been altered, and now careens down a darker path, into deep thickets and waist-high bogs bubbling with doubt and anger. This is one way in which generational betaness is passed on, from father to son.

Imagine a different scenario had played out. A GAME scenario.

Today i was out for lunch with my dad. Sushi, as it was. My father is a serene man with a well of righteous dignity, I’ve come to realize. when this half-baked early 20’s Asian in skater jeans and ray ban corrective glasses doesn’t bring us our food until my dad asks if there’s a kitchen fire holding up our order, and still gets it wrong, and then continues to delay most of our food we have to leave before we get to eat the half of it. I was ready to get in the face of the woman at the register, but I thought it was my dad’s place to do so, since he was buying and he is my father. He strode up to the counter, chin high and chest out:

“I won’t be paying this bill today. Our food was late and we didn’t get to eat it. If you have a problem with that perhaps I could let the other patrons here know how incredibly poor your service is.” He motioned to the diners seated nearby. The woman behind the counter looks up with worry in her eyes, and offers to give him a free meal and a 50% reduction on the bill.

“My son might come here to eat another time. I expect him to be served respectfully.”

As I’m beaming with pride for my father, he puts his hand on my shoulder and leads me out of the restaurant.

“I got you the waitress’s number, son. Don’t forget to make fun of her glasses.”

Impossible? One weekend reading this blog and that father could have saved his son’s soul that day. He might even have saved his marriage, but judging by the description of the mother, I’m not sure he’d have wanted to once he figured out that game gave him the ability to date more women. And better women.

The only advice I have for the young man who emailed me is the following:

1. Stop beating up on yourself and acting so goddamned melodramatic. You have much insight for your age. Your intelligence will take you far. Now what you need is calm and wisdom.

2. This too shall pass.

3. The big picture trumps the little picture.

4. Stay away from your mother as much as humanly possible. She is damaged goods for you. Single moms, even your own flesh and blood, are poison for your growth as a man and a ladykiller.

5. For that matter, stay away from your father. Unless he is willing to change, he will only continue to infect you with his beta loser stench. Harsh words, I know, but your well-being trumps all.

6. If you are not ready to give up on either of your parents, then show your father this blog. Tell him to read from day one. Enlightenment is a mouse click away.

7. Show your mother this blog too. Expect hysterics.

8. Stand up to your mother. From what you have written, she sounds like an emotional vampire who demands payment in obeisance and comes to loathe those who give her what she wants. Fuck that noise. Get back to the cocky/funny that you used to be around her.

9. If all the above fail, consider physically moving away from these parasites. Friends, family, everyone. Gather your savings, quit your job, and move to a new city or even a new country.

10. Someday you will die. But that day is not today. Now is the time to live.

A FATHER’S QUESTIONS

First, thank you for the excellent blog.

The writing, content, and resulting purposeful applications are first rate. You attract much insightful, interesting, and humorous content, too. Please keep up the good work.

On to my question: so, I am a dad and wondering, with Father’s Day 2011 just around the corner, your thoughts on how, when, and at what rate should matters of game be introduced to your male offspring?

I did read this: “Why Game is Important for Fathers”

It made my heart ache.

My son and I frequently go about town alone. Dining together. Talking to the people around us. Looking them in the eye at all times. Assessing strangers at other tables and trying to read them based upon what we observe. He and I scored girls in the mall a few weeks back. He is only 10. I’m not going to rush him into things, but want to give him the tools and tactics to use when he is ready. I don’t have a great playbook for rearing him, but I do want him to lead his life and not the other way around. Any feedback and thoughts would be appreciated.

How, when, and at what rate to introduce game to your son? A few classic Chateau thoughts on the matter are here.

To my son: You will learn how to say Hi to girls before the age of 16 if it kills you. There will be no Star Trek or Lord of the Rings posters in your room. You will instead have Helmut Newton photographs hanging on your walls and a copy of Mystery Method. I will treat the family dog better than you if you major in anything that doesn’t ensure a salary high enough to keep you from grubbing off me. Learn how to throw a punch. If you turn out gay, don’t ever bring your “boyfriend” around me. Certain things are best left in the realm of the abstract.

Finally…

if I find out your mother was a two-timing whore and you are not my kid, you will never hear from me again. Kindly direct all your rage her way.

I’m glad to see you’re taking your son out and showing him the ropes. As a father, you have no more important duty than guiding your son on the path of alphadom. What greater gift can a father give his son than the knowledge and example he needs to navigate the initially confusing world of women, and to live as a free man in an increasingly corporatized, feminized, Orwellian world?

You want to introduce game concepts to your son now, as he’s hitting his teenage years. Your first forays into this dark knowledge should be couched in terms a kid can relate to, i. e., lay off the sex talk and arid evo psych theories. Tell him that girls are different from boys and that this will matter as he gets older and starts to like them.

In your specific case, it seems as if your son is maturing early, if he’s “scoring” girls at age 10. He probably knows the basics at this point? If that’s so, then you can go to the next stage, where you analyze specific female behaviors and make them relevant to him. For instance, he might complain about a girl who only likes him when he’s mean to her, and he doesn’t understand why. You can then segue into a discussion about why girls like that sort of attitude from boys, and how he can have that attitude but still grow up to be a good man.

Note: Do not ever fall back on the typical beta herb father response of “Well, son, women are a mystery. You’ll find that out soon enough.” That’s the cheap and easy way out, and prepares him for nothing. Patiently explain WHY women are the way they are, that women aren’t really mysterious at all, it just seems that way because they think differently than men. Remind him, too, that men seem mysterious to women, so the confusion goes both ways. The whole “mystery” cop-out is just another form of female pedestalization.

As he’s becoming more aware of true female nature, there is a risk his young mind and heart will slip into cynicism and disgust for girls. Don’t let that happen. Remind him that, though the world works this way, there is no reason to let it get him down. There are some rules to follow, but the game itself is still a lot of fun, and nothing feels better than falling in love with a girl who loves you back. (Abstain from discussions of “love” until he’s well into his teens. A 10 year old is likely to turn up his nose at that.)

As his mind matures (age 16 or so), begin introducing him to the literature and science that scaffolds game concepts. You can start with this blog and these resources. If he’s anything like a normal heterosexual man, his eyes will widen with wonder when he first reads this forbidden knowledge. This is a critical juncture. If you have not laid the groundwork, a sudden infusion of game material can send him careening through a labyrinth of haphazard self-discovery, his journey littered with dangerous risks and broken hearts. You must start his reality education NOW if you want him to put the future knowledge to good use. An unanchored padawan is a light saber duel away from joining the Sith.

The rate he should learn this stuff will largely be up to him. Once the floodgates open, he’ll likely seek out further knowledge on his own, without your guidance. The internet guarantees that the window for active parental guidance is smaller now than it has ever been. That’s why you must begin your teachings before he gets to high school.

As a responsible father the setbacks you most want your son to avoid are:

Oneitis.

LJBF.

Surprise dumpings.

Grinding celibacy.

Divorce.

Marriage to an ugly feminist.

Give him the knowledge and tools to circumvent those unhappy fates and the wisdom of your experience and you will be a hero to him for life.

10 PERSONAL IMPROVEMENT

MY LIFE PHILOSOPHY

Thought experiment: Imagine you had incontrovertible proof that there was no afterlife. No supernatural entities. No heaven or hell. No otherworld. No reincarnation. No forevermore.

No second chances.

Imagine there was no moral accounting after death of your actions on earth. No supreme being to judge your soul’s worth on the scale of divine justice. No reward or punishment. No appeal to omniscient authority in matters of good and evil.

There was only the endless black void at the moment death. The infinite silence. A complete surrender of your consciousness as the last pinprick of light extinguishes. All your thoughts, your feelings, your sensation, your memories… you… wiped away clean to merge with the great nothing.

How would you live? Given this proof of the finality of death, and of the expectation of nothing once dead, what is your personal philosophy?

At a family gathering, I played with my little niece and nephew, 4 and 3 years old respectively. They tumbled all over me, giggling and shrieking. I held them above the ground and pretended they were airplanes in heated battle with Russian MiGs or, in a nod to my niece’s female sensibilities, a pink passenger jet flying vacationers to a distant, undiscovered tropical island. They did handstands and somersaults and rammed things with their heads. I made animal noises (my monkey impression is quite good) and they would run away in mock terror, then run back to me anticipating more assaults by zoo animals. They fought over toys, yet never held grudges, at least not for long. I mentally noted that they played status games, but were completely ignorant of it. Innocent of their amoral natures.

Afterward, I drove my elderly grandmother back to her assisted living home. That’s a nice euphemism for death’s waiting room. In the community meeting area there were Scrabble boards and an organ. As if impending death wasn’t depressing enough, we bide our waning moments in pursuit of a triple word score. Old people jockey for status, too, but they make no pretense to hide it. They are artlessly cantankerous. After a certain age, when you don’t matter anymore to most people, even your own family, you stop caring what anyone thinks of you. Tit for tat.

Spend time with little children and old people. One is innocent, the other is reacquainted with innocence. Their company is a world away from the drone and ruckus of all the furious humanity in between. At the extremes you will find perspective.

My answer to the philosophical question I posed above is hedonism. It is the only rational conclusion one can draw faced with the premises I presented. When there is no second life or higher power to appease; when our lives are machines — complex misunderstood machines cunningly designed to conceal the gears and pulleys behind a facade of self-delusional sublimation, but machines nonetheless — grinding and belching the choking gritty smoke of status-whoring displays in service to our microscopic puppet masters… well, there can be only one reasonable response to it all. It makes no sense to behave any other way unless you never questioned the lies.

Are you prepared to embrace the meaning of your ultimately inconsequential existence? If it feels good…

SO YOU WANT TO BE A BADBOY

Here is a partial list of behaviors that badboys do around their women.

A badboy will occasionally tell his girl to “fuck off”, “shut up”, or “shut the fuck up”, sometimes even when she deserves it.

When his girl tells an unfunny joke, a badboy will look right at her and not laugh at all, making her feel uncomfortable.

His GF lives out of town. She calls him and wants to drive into town to see him. A badboy will tell her “No” once in a while but give her no reason why, because he wants to hit the bars with his crew that night and hook up with another girl.

His GF drove into town anyway and went to the bar with him. A badboy would make sure she doesn’t kiss him in public and instead use her like an advertising billboard to attract other girls. He will get another girl’s number and tell his GF he only wants to make a new friend.

A girl a badboy has just met tells him she has a boyfriend and makes him promise to not kiss her that night. The badboy says “Sure” and kisses her later, anyway. Then he slides his hand up her skirt for good measure.

In extreme circumstances, a badboy will kick his girl out of the car… while it’s still rolling to a stop.

A badboy will forget every birthday, anniversary, and holiday. He will never apologize for his forgetfulness, but he will make it up to her by giving her the rogering of her life.

If a girl tries to make him jealous, the badboy will tell her she should get out of his hair and go marry the new guy if she likes him so much, they’re perfect together. He will then hum the tune “Here Comes the Bride” but will call it “Here Comes the Bitch”.

When his GF tells him “I love you”, the badboy will reply “Cool beans” while thinking about his date next Tuesday with girl #2.

A badboy will use “BEYOTCH!” non-ironically.

A badboy will be late for every date by at least 10 minutes, no exceptions. He will act as if nothing is wrong.

If caught with another woman, the badboy will not beg forgiveness or make excuses. He will instead “remind” his primary girl that he is dating around until he finds his soulmate. If he’s a really badass badboy, he’ll tell her he’s been waiting for her to join the fun and then pat the bed.

A badboy does not hide the video camera set up in his bedroom. Or the other girls’ hair on the pillows.

“I’ve had enough of your shit” is a stock badboy response to his GF acting out. He will use it liberally, and accentuate the point by putting on oversized headphones and bobbing his head to the music.

A badboy knows he has something the world’s betas don’t — the cahones to WALK. He’ll walk out the door at the slightest provocation or annoyance, slamming it shut for added effect, thereby setting the standard VERY HIGH indeed for his GF to remain on her best behavior around him.

Badboys never split the domestic chores and always leave the seat up. “Equal” is not part of their vocabulary.

Badboys will surprise fuck their GFs in public… with children nearby.

Badboys never talk about their work with their women. They always keep it fun, light, and teasing.

Badboys know it’s OK to get angry and bitch your woman out. They do not fear the consequences.

If you are struggling to attract women, get laid, and fall in mutual love, then incorporate the badboy behaviors into your life and watch your girl troubles melt away.

BACHELOR PAD THEMES

The look and layout of your bachelor pad when you take a woman home with you, while not a necessary tool of game, can help ease the transition from seduction to sex. There are four main design theme directions a man such as yourself can consider when kitting out a home to best reflect your ladykiller cred.

1. More masculine

Deliberately excising any estrogenic touch from your interior decorating is the way of the man who wants female visitors to know his balls are not for sale. These are the homes of the finance wizard, the international businessman and the nerd. Man caves are usually sharply geometric, monochrome, metallic, hi-fi and, except in the case of the nerd, blessedly free of clutter. Bedroom furniture is either heavy, dark, unadorned mahogany or Scandinavian. Art is minimalist and modern. Sofas are exquisitely uncomfortable, facing enormous flat screen TVs. Top shelf bottles of liquor rest on Sterling Cooper bar caddies. The masculine home is a cold, unforgiving, chillingly beautiful non-interactive space that evokes the warehouse aesthetic of early first person shooters. You are reminded of nothing less than “American Psycho” and chainsaws.

2. More feminine

Adding splashes of femininity to your bachelor pad lets women know you are comfortable living with the energy of the softer sex humming pleasantly in the background. The feminized bachelor pad is the man parlor of the artist, the real estate salesman and the homosexual. Man parlors feature rounded edges, multihued color schemes, mineral or elemental textures, lo-fi vintage sensibility, and whimsically decorative trinkets and baubles of meaninglessness. Bedroom furniture is either antique or avant-garde. Square pillows and cologne-scented candles are everywhere. Paintings of French scenes abound. The feminized man parlor is a warm, aesthetically welcoming interactive space that evokes safety, security and the familiarity of romantic moments in front of the fireplace.

3. More sexual

This is the player’s studio. His den of iniquity. A sexualized bachelor pad, whether masculinized or feminized, is littered with props that testify to a man’s preselection by women and his tomcat lifestyle. Many decorative touches are of the form of “accidental” knick-knacks left lying around — such as old photos of you with pretty girls, a stray earring, two toothbrushes in the bathroom — that send hamsters spinning at full tilt. The sexual overload is contrasted with carefully conspicuous cookbooks and “homey” artifacts that fuel the female predilection to believe there is a domesticated man within the cad just waiting to burst forth with assistance by the right woman. This is the man lounge that inspires one night stands.

4. More mysterious

Here we come to the final destination — and the most difficult to master — in bachelor pad proofing: the man manor. A woman entering the enigma of the man manor is greeted by curios of mysterious beauty and a design sensibility that evokes not so much an aesthetic, but an adventure; a life fully lived. Oddities loom over monstrous bookcases. Souvenirs act as fulcrums for each room’s decorative theme. Tattered manuscripts, not glossy magazines or SWPL weeklies, perch tantalizingly in nooks and crannies. The rooms do not reveal, as much as beg for more to be revealed. A woman, upon entering this alternate manverse, is forced to navigate the novelty, snooping reflecting on what she sees at every turn, robbed of the inertia to sit down immediately and stew in her ASD (anti-slut defenses). She is overwhelmed by curiosity, and a curious woman is shortly a horny woman. Man manors pay only the slightest lip service to design rules, but they are generally spartan in space usage (the better to showcase the quizzical artifacts of unusual heft), boldly colored with an emphasis on the darker hues, moody in affect, and nonconformist. The man designing the man manor assiduously avoids trendiness of any flavor. He does not care for social approval; he only cares about lighting up the neural synapses of his prey.

***

There is no right or wrong way to manage the look of your bachelor pad. Each of the above four themes, properly executed, will redound to a man’s advantage in the bedding of women, and some women will react more favorably to a certain theme depending on her individual aesthetic, station in life and relationship goals. However, one theme provides a bigger boudoir boost than the others. And that is the man manor. Simply put, mystery is the gift that accelerates women to sexual abandon faster, and more reliably, than masculinity, femininity or Quagmire caddishness.

I have not lived in every style of place outlined in this post, but I have known, and know, men who do live in homes representing each of the four major design philosophies. Without doubt, the best players tend to the man manor theme, sprinkled with props indicating female preselection. The biggest player I have ever known — a man whose count possibly numbers in the thousands — had a living space that could double as a museum.

Charred oak was the construction medium of his coffee table and bookcases, which were filled with travel guides, dog-eared classics of literature and lewd photography books. A cracked and gouged writing desk he claimed was one used by Edgar Allan Poe sat in his bedroom, at the end of a four poster king-sized monstrosity covered with mosquito netting. A full body female mannequin wearing a safari outfit and pearls occupied a corner of the living room. She looked on the proceedings with an expression of smug disdain. A stuffed rattlesnake reared back, coiled and angry, under a glass case.

A shelf full of dusty old baseballs supposedly gleaned from major sporting events and autographed by famous players peered out from small glass containers. (I say supposedly because I had suspicion that some of the autographs were added after the point of sale.) A crocodile head was etched with dripped wax from a giant gothic candle on its snout. A reading stand — much like the one you might see holding a Bible in a church — propped open a leather-bound notebook with scribblings in Arabic, a small bottle of India ink at its side. He claimed it was a compendium of love poems written to him by a former lover who died young. A very realistic and very creepy Hollywood quality face mask acted as a bookend. A surfboard with a shark bite-shaped chunk missing from it leaned against another corner. A black cat (real one!) with piercing green eyes sat at the edge of a banal out-of-place microfiber couch, surveying his playground.

The overall impression is that one had entered the abode of Ernest Hemingway merged with Andy Warhol.

But the coup de grace was the white wedding dress (sans train) and dark purple tuxedo displayed on mesh wire torsos in a hallway leading to the bathroom. “A love story gone tragically wrong,” he would explain. In fact, he had a story for everything in his place, and it was a rare girl who didn’t feel impelled to satisfy her curiosity. I’m convinced his digs were such extreme chick crack, that half his game was opening the front door and letting girls have a look see.

How much of his stuff was authentic, or how many of his stories true, I can’t say. Likely, most of it was BS. But what does it matter whether he traveled the world collecting strange mementos and memories or he traveled to a SWPL store two miles away to buy his stories at exorbitant prices? Girls ate it up just the same. He put effort into learning and retelling his stories, true or not, and that made girls happy, which made them want to have sex and fall in love, which made him happy. And isn’t that the essence of game?

Once you’ve entranced a woman with your living room, proceed to the bedroom finishing move; the final mysterious conceit that will cause her hamster to run straight to her vagina and start nibbling on her labia.

BACHELOR PAD SEDUCTION PROPS

Things I “accidentally” leave lying around and conspicuously displayed when she comes back to my place:

A photo of me and a hot ex.

You know the golden rule: Girls love guys who are loved by other girls. Be careful with this ploy, you’ll need total plausible deniability. If she suspects that you intentionally left an ex photo in full view for her to stumble across you’ll spend more time explaining yourself and less time adding a new photo to your collection. My advice is to have a few other photos of random scenes that don’t include your exes strewn haphazardly across your desk or coffee table (but make sure the ex pic is prominent so her eye will go there first), with a photo album nearby, so that it looks like you were in the middle of updating the album. Also, you’ll need a solid story for why you have an ex photo that doesn’t lead her to believe you are still hung up on your ex and masturbating to old pics of her in the middle of the night. When she finds the pic, just say “Oh yeah, forgot about her. It’s funny how much stuff we forget organizing old photos.”

Adorable pictures of little nieces and nephews sitting in your lap or on your shoulders work well, too. Your computer’s screensaver is very handy for this sort of photo game.

Note: Old school print photos that are curling at the edges pack a more powerful emotional punch than photos on LCD screens.

A baby book of myself.

Actually, I really did leave this lying around accidentally when my mother gave me a box of stuff from her attic to keep. To my pleasant surprise, it worked like a charm many times because I was much cuter at three than I am now, plus there is a lock of my toddler hair in there that always elicits an “aww”, but I decided it sent too many nesting signals and not enough jackhammering signals, so I have since packed it away out of sight.

My guitar

I play guitar as a hobby so there is nothing deliberate about its display, except that I have it propped up near my bed. I’ve serenaded girls from various points in my place and come to the conclusion that strumming a tune for her on the bed is the best location. Some guys like to do their serenading from the living room since that’s where the girl will be sitting when she first arrives, and playing a song for her is an excellent mood-building routine in the early stages of the seduction phase of the pickup. But I have artsy black and white photographs I’ve shot hanging on the wall to do that for me, so I save my guitar playing for later in the bedroom where one 30 second song verse can obviate the need for a half hour of foreplay. Spanish Ballad will blow away last minute resistance better than hours of grinding tactical retreats and freeze-outs.

A book on Tantric sex

For “spiritual enlightenment” purposes. This is the only subliminal message porn you’ll be able to non-creepily display in the open. For this reason, I’m always rushing to minimize my “erotica” folder on the monitor when she goes to the bathroom.

Fresh flowers in a vase

What guy keeps fresh flowers in his place? Her mind will reel at the possibilities, most likely imagining you have other girls giving you flowers for your lovemaking prowess. If she’s thinking that, it cuts your work in half. If she asks, evade.

Her: “Did you get those flowers yourself?”

You: “They smell good, don’t they? Go ahead, take a whiff. I like the uplifting mood they add to the room.”

If she presses:

Her: “So who got them?”

You: “I have a secret admirer at work. I may as well keep them. Who throws out fresh flowers?”

NOTE: Dead flowers in a vase sends the wrong message. It says you’re either too lazy to dump them in the trash or you’re lamenting an ex who gave you those flowers months ago. Only Europeans are allowed to keep dried up flowers as display pieces.

SLR camera on a tripod

What do you take pictures of?

Whatever my art demands.

Any people?

If they’re right for the camera.

Am I right for the camera?

As you are, maybe. Stand over there.

So, what do you think?

There’s potential. But you wouldn’t be able to do nudes.

Why not?

It’s a gift. Only a few women have the aura to hold the camera’s attention in the nude.

You’re wrong! I’m sure I would have the aura.

We’ll see. I could be wrong, but not usually.

Cookbooks

Don’t bother learning how to cook. Just have a few cookbooks on the shelf where she can see them and the effect will be the same. Tell her you’ll cook for her “one day”, and keep putting it off.

Stripper pole

I’m holding it for a friend.

THE IMPORTANCE OF MALE STYLE

If you follow the conventional wisdom closely, (or just leave your apartment once in a while), you’ll come under the impression that a good sense of style is more beneficial to women than it is to men. Women are the ones who lacquer themselves in lotions potions liners and rouges, spend exorbitant amounts of green on fashionable attire, and coif their hair to perfection down to the last flyaway strand.

Men, in contrast, are the ones who throw on a pair of jeans and an ill-fitting button-down.

Now, the CW makes some sense, at least in the big picture. Women, being the sex whose primary attractiveness derives from their looks, would want to focus on maximizing the display of those looks. Men, whose primary attractiveness derives from status and attitude, don’t get as much SMV bang for the buck from ken dolling themselves up. But I’m here to tell you that for some men, particularly ugly men, style can play a huge role in boosting their perceived attractiveness.

Maxim #77: The role of style in diverting attention from male ugliness is severely underplayed by most ugly men.

I was at a party and noticed down at the other end of a long hall a small congregation of girls swirling around one man. I stepped closer to check out the scene, and if any of the girls were ones I knew. I didn’t know anyone, but I did notice the guy, and he was one ugly-assmofo. Bug eyes, big ears, blotchy skin, beak nose, and horrible teeth, some of which were snaggleteeth jutting out at angles like broken glass.

Now I’ve been around long enough that the sight of an ugly man holding court with one or more hot babes is nothing surprising to me. I know a man’s can-bang attitude can compensate for poor facial structure genes. But I also know it can only compensate so much. There has to be something else that distracts girls from the ugliness. And in his case, it was his flashy style.

He was decked out in what looked like Italian shoes, a fitted metallic gray suit, red socks, vest, blood red tie with some sort of iridescent pattern, and big tortoise shell designer sunglasses. He sported a very minor fauxhawk, and was well-tanned. He was a skinny white guy, average height. He smiled like he knew he was the go-to guy at that party. I could have sworn he had a gold cap on one of his miserable teeth.

No homo here, but I have to tell you, the combined sight of the girls swarming around him like he was a maypole (manpole?) plus his impeccable dress played with my powers of observation. The ugliness that assaulted me at first began to dissipate, and suddenly I was looking at a guy who left me with little doubt he knew how to seduce women. Now imagine that perception-warping power quadrupled when used against women, who are after all the sex with the more easily manipulable acumen.

Great style — the kind of style that says you are confident enough to outshine other men and that you have exquisite taste for the finer things in life — is ugliness-reducing. If you are an ugly man, you WILL become less ugly to women if you dress like you’re a leading man. Coupled with game and a totally un-self-conscious attitude, girls will not even notice they are falling for a troll.

NOTE: Does not work for women. Ugly women can maybe… MAYBE… add a quarter point to their rank with good style, but unfortunately for them men are so piercingly attuned to women’s facial features and body that not even the best tailored fashion can alter the trajectory of their target designators. Ugly men have options that ugly women do not.

If you are an average-looking man, the right style will help, but you won’t see as much of a benefit from it as the ugly man. There are diminishing returns to dressing to excess. If you are a good-looking man, you are almost better off *downscaling* your style, so that you don’t intimidate girls into thinking you’re unattainable. Very good-looking men with game who also dress with flash should focus on 9s and 10s, because those will be the only types of girls who won’t give such a man undue grief for making them feel like he is out of their league.

I later learned the ugly guy worked for Prada, and he was wearing one of their suits. I also learned something which only one other person knew at that party: he was bi. Those girls smitten by his style and charm were in for disappointment, unless they like to share.

DRESS LIKE A SEXY BEAST

This is the Chateau men’s fashion post. While normally guests of the Chateau idle about in hooded black robes accessorized with cat o’ nine tails, there are those times in the company of the outside world that genitals must be sheathed and attention paid to dress norms. Here, as with all things pleasurable in life, our proprietors excel in transcending the norms while still nodding to them to maximize our social advantage.

I was fortunate to have had a few friends in my life who were particularly stylish dressers from whom I could crib tips. They were naturals at the sartorial arts, in fact. Don’t underestimate how valuable an asset a male mentor can be, whether in school, work, fashion, or pickup. Remember, if a man — who is at heart your natural competitor — is giving you helpful advice as a friend, it is worth the well-meaning advice of one hundred women.

This post is intended for generally in-shape men. Lean men. If you are a fatass or you can’t run without pantomiming an infinity symbol with your jiggly manboobs, then you will not benefit from the advice herein. This post is also about fashion for the everyman who wants a leg up; it is not a peacocker’s how-to guide to looking like the world’s biggest dandy. I’ve nothing against huge velvet cowboy hats, LED belt buckles, or 18th century justacorps, but that level of expressiveness is best reserved for tall men stalking glam nightclubs in select cities such as LA. In everyday situations, peacocking to that extreme will leave an impression of try-hard, and while you’ll get attention, it’ll be the sort of attention lavished on the uncomprehending poindexter whose presence fuels a roomful’s worth of ridicule. Unless you have the balls-out confidence to comfortably carry a florid peacock’s tail without withering under public scrutiny, you should avoid radical extremism in style.

A couple of thoughts before continuing: why is refined peacocking, to a greater or lesser degree, attractive to women? The answer lies in the handicap principle. A man of means and free time can afford to dabble with superfluous dress affects. A man struggling to make his way in the world (or a man unconcerned with attracting women) will have no time or money to style himself in anything but the most practical uniform for trundling through his day (see: herb). So the well-dressed man, punctuated attentively with perfectly calibrated accessories, signals to women that he has made it, and has brainpower to spare for pursuing the finer things in life. Ostentatious and impractical display sends the message that a man can burden himself with inconsequential frippery and still succeed without breaking a sweat.

That said, fashion is UNNECESSARY for picking up women. If you walk with the swagger of a warlord and your game is unstoppable, you can pick up girls wearing torn jeans and a ratty t-shirt. However much it repulses our sense of cosmic harmony, we’ve all seen guys like this with cute chicks (note: he was not gay):

Feel free to work on your game while wearing mandals, but why make pickup harder than need be? A man with unstoppable confidence, tight game, AND good fashion sense is a force to be reckoned with. You may not need a sense of style, but you’ll want it when you see how it draws positive female attention before you’ve even opened your mouth.

First, the NUMBER ONE RULE OF MEN’S FASHION:

Fit is everything.

A bad fit — oversized shirt or jacket, too long or too short sleeve length, pants with extra ass material to store an accidental shit — will make a $3,000 suit look like an off the rack rumple of textile. A good fit, on the other hand, can make discount rack stuff from Filene’s Basement look sharp. What’s funny is that as the number one rule of men’s fashion, it is violated by more men more often than any other rule. It’s as if men lack the neural wiring to perceive poor fit. Or they’ve gotten so fat that good fit has become synonymous with “encased like a sausage”.

I’ll give fashion tips starting from the top and working our way down.

Head

Hats are an excellent accessory that add a dash of dash. There are few enough men wearing non-baseball cap hats that the hat can function as a legitimate peacock device. Tip: Don’t buy hats from chain stores or well-tread fashion houses. That cool fedora you spot in Urban Outfitters or Banana Republic was probably purchased by twenty other guys before you, and nothing screams tool louder than showing up at a bar wearing the same hat as another man. It’s almost as bad as wearing the same shirt, but at least with the hat you can take it off. I bought my last hat from a sidewalk vendor who looked like he was not running his business with the appropriate licenses, but I could buy confidently knowing that the odds were very low another man would own the same hat. Also, be careful of one size fits all hats. They are often undersized, so try them on before buying. Finally, don’t forget to pull the brim down low.

Sunglasses

This is too personal a style decision for me to narrow down your choices, but in general the thinner framed, smaller lensed sunglasses are in right now. Dark lenses are better than light- or off-colored lenses. Sunglasses are a great way to measure the symmetry of your face, and thus amount of negative first impression you’ll have to overcome with robust game. If the glasses tilt to one side, you are facially asymmetrical. Lyle Lovett went “ha haaw!”.

Earrings

Are you gay?

Necklaces

Are you a guido? As far as accessories go, I’d steer clear of necklaces. If you really want to dangle something from your neck, proceed with caution and stick with leather laced items. Huge, glinty metal talismans are probably too douchey for most guys.

Shirt

Err on the side of tighter rather than looser. A good way to quickly measure whether a shirt is the wrong fit is to grab it at the middle buttons and pull outward from your torso. If there is more than a four inch gap between the shirt and your skin, then it is too billowy. You really want to avoid the billow. It’s unsexy. Sleeve length should extend about a half inch past the point where your wrist meets your hand. Don’t get too worked up if the sleeves are not the right length but the rest of the shirt fits great; I often roll up sleeves or hide them under blazers. T-shirts should follow the same four-inch anti-billow rule, though you can wear tees tighter than button-downs. Don’t wear skin tight shirts; save that stuff for the gym or the bathhouse. Don’t bother with exotic patterns; that swirly patterned shirt you bought at Ken Cole was also bought by ten other men. Stick with solid, bold colors. Stretch material is good, as is a bit of shine or iridescence when constrained under a blazer. Solid colored shirts that have a faint pattern stitched into the fabric are also good. If you like to wear button-downs untucked, it is imperative that the shirt is not loose-fitting, and that it isn’t too long. It should hug your pants just a couple inches past the belt.

Ties

Ties are cool. Ties are masculine. Ties don’t have to be relegated to wearing with suits. You can wear a tie with a t-shirt for crying out loud and look good. In fact, the tie is an excellent peacock accessory. When worn casually with short sleeves or t-shirts, you want to keep a healthy space between the knot and your neck. And don’t button the top button. A brightly colored tie, such as purple or pink, paired with a black button down or tee under a black blazer, is a sexy look.

Blazer/Sport Jacket

A sharp blazer can reinvigorate an entire closet of so-so shirts. Again, you want to avoid extra material. When you button the jacket, there shouldn’t be more than a few inches of space between your body and the fabric. You want to accentuate that V shape of the manly man torso. The lines of the shoulder (you can see where the shoulder stops and the sleeve starts by the line of stitching that connects those two parts) should sit right at the end of your shoulders, and not one millimeter past. Two buttons are in style now, though you won’t be committing a grave sin if you opt for three. One vent is preferable to two. For a more casual or club-oriented look, blazers with an accessorized look — such as extra zippers or pockets or off-color stitching — are an acceptable alternative to traditional sport coats. Stay away from beige; bold colors or unconventional colors will help your blazer stand out from the crowd of herbs in their sensible sport coats. I like lime colored or white jackets for the summer, and shiny black jackets in the winter.

Short sleeve shirt

It’s summer, so no need to sweat like a pig for style. Button down short sleeve shirts are good as long as you keep in mind a couple of rules: one, the sleeves must fit fairly tight to your bicep (not spandex tight). No dorky flare between the sleeve and your upper arm should be evident. Two, don’t get short sleeves with one pocket. Two pockets or no pockets are acceptable.

T-shirts

Tight fitting T-shirts paired with blazers are a good look. Don’t be afraid to sport a solid colored tee. A solid black or gray tee will look good under a stylish blazer. You don’t need to spice it up by wearing a tee with a crazy pattern, or hipster slogan, unless the slogan is so funny that it’s sure to get attention from girls. Example: I saw a t-shirt with a stick figure man who had three legs drawn in, over the word “Gifted”. That’s pretty funny.

Vests

Yeah, they’re out of style. Which is why I wear them now. Buy vests at consignment shops. You’ll find cool retro stuff there that assures your look won’t be copied. A vest thrown over a t-shirt can really jumpstart a look.

Bracelets

Wide, hulking leather bracelets look like you’re trying. Thin leather bracelets, perhaps adorned with metal studs, are better. A couple pieces of black string nestled with a thin bracelet is a good way for newbs to peacock.

Rings

Rings have been the PUA’s signature peacock accessory since before the term was coined. They’re still a solid addition to any man’s style, but you should try to get your rings from sources off the beaten path. I have one ring I bought from a ramshackle gift shop in the middle of desert country that I’m sure no one else has. Fewer is better with rings. More than two rings and you’ll look like a wise guy.

Belt

I like simple, well-crafted belts with a stylish but not gaudy buckle. I’m not a fan of studded or hole-punched belts, but I’ve seen guys pull off that look without a problem. If you’re wearing jeans and untucked shirts, you don’t need a belt.

Pants/Jeans

Same fit rule should follow with pants. When you try them on, pull at the leg material. If you can pull more than a couple inches from your leg, you are wearing pants too baggy for you. Jeans and pants, though, should be slightly more loose fitting relative to upper body clothing, which is why I prefer casual fit jeans to slim fit. Stay away from skinny jeans. I don’t care how many hipsters wear them and get laid, skinny jeans on men who aren’t on stage performing in a rock band look retarded. Anyhow, if you go to the gym and have any quad development at all, you won’t be able to fit in skinny jeans. Choose dark jeans; the darker the blue the better, generally. Elaborate back pocket designs are out for straight men. So are whiskers, studs, and fake holes. You don’t need to spend a fortune on jeans. I’ve gotten more compliments on my $70 Lucky Brand jeans than my $150 Diesel jeans. Obviously, pant pleats are a no-go, and will likely be so for a long while. Banana Republic sells some decent dress casual pants, though I’d skip their jeans.

Shorts

Again, since it’s the summer, why suffer for style? Shorts should extend to the knee, or just past it. Bulky cargo shorts are out. Solid colors are the way to go. Shorts are not a highlight piece; they are a functional piece that should not distract from your other stylish pieces.

Socks

Don’t ignore socks. They can be an excellent source of peacockery. Generally, socks should be the same or similar hue as your pants. Pair dark socks with dress shoes and jeans. Sneakers should be paired with black socks. White socks only for the gym. Socks should be longer rather than shorter; nothing more annoying than socks that constantly slip down your calves. But occasionally you can add style by wearing a brightly colored sock meant to be seen when you sit down. I like to wear red socks with dark jeans that complement a red shirt or tie. If you are wearing shorts, it may be better to forego socks entirely.

Shoes

Things to avoid: box-toed shoes, excessively pointy shoes, shoes with heavy soles that stick out from the sides, sandals. Things to look for: driver’s moccasins in place of flip-flops, traditionally styled shoes (not too pointy, not too square-toed), a solid manly heel. Shoes are noticed by women before anything else. It seems shoes are some kind of signaling agent that tells a woman how well you think of yourself. Since there are so many useful websites out there dedicated to the ins and outs of men’s shoe fashion, I’ll skip going into detail here.

Suits

This subject deserves a post of its own. Suffice to say, nothing more boldly or confidently projects solid manliness than a tailored suit. While the suit is not for every occasion, during those few times when you do wear one, you’ll feel the ghostly pulse of a thousand Don Drapers before you infuse your soul with pussy-wilting power. Charity events, art shows, exhibits, and happy hours that aren’t overrun by college-aged interns pounding Miller Lights are great places to showcase yourself in a suit.

THE PICKUP ARTIST’S CAR OF CHOICE

The Chateau receives lots of requests from readers for recommendations on accoutrements that would best complement a master seducer’s lifestyle. Jewelry, home furnishings, bachelor pad props, clothes, shoes, Wii games (chicks love the Smash Bros.), etc…

In this post we will discuss the best car to drive if you want to fully round out your identity as a New World Womanizer.

Chicks dig power. Cars are power, so having a sweet ride will turn on chicks, particularly if your engine rumbles with horsepower. Cars are also fun in and of themselves. The ideal player car is one that embodies power, style and coolness. The good news is that you can get these three attributes in a car without spending a lot of money. You just have to be willing to buy an older car and assume the accompanying hassle of upkeep and repair.

The first two cars in this list are the low-cost options to attain cool power.

1991 Porsche 964 Cabriolet:

This Porsche will run you around $10K, give or take the condition of the car. Look at the sweep of those headlight chambers along the hood. Those are two penises aimed right at the soft, chewy center of a tart’s hole. Convertible a must. I don’t think Porsches have ever looked better than the 911 Carrera series from the late 80s to mid 90s.

1971 Ford Galaxie:

These old Ford Galaxies are a hot commodity right now, so expect to pay around $7K or $8K for one in decent condition. The 1966 model has been known to go for as much as $50K. A good thing about the Galaxie is that it has the badboy appeal of the Cadillac Eldorado minus the ghetto pimp factor. The aggressive, geometric heft of this car evokes the black monolith from “2001: A Space Odyssey”. Monkey proles will be throwing bones at you in tribute. Again, convertible is a must.

******

The next two cars are for players who have some cash to throw around on new vehicles. If you are mechanically inept and don’t want to deal with maintaining an older vehicle, then you will prefer these choices to maximize the mass and density of your ballsack and the number of babes that will stick to the hood.

Ford F-150:

Sure, it’s a little bit rednecky, but if you’re a SWPL what better way to stand out from the crowd of emo milquetoasts who surround you like flitting butterflies in their Priuses? If a hipster chick objects to your ride, just adopt a pose of ironic haughtiness. Rest assured her tingling vaj is betraying her sanctimony. This is because American pickup trucks are universally manly. End of discussion.

BMW 7-series:

If you want to drive in comfort and class and announce to the ladies you’ve arrived, this luxury model BMW is your choice. Equip with optional wet bar.

******

Finally, if you can swing the big bucks ($50K plus), then this is the alpha male car for you:

THE TESTOSTERONE GUIDE

Testosterone is the life blood of game. If you have low testosterone, your game will wither like parched fescue under a blazing August sun. High testosterone, and your game shines like a supernova. The formula is simple:

More testosterone = more approaches.

And more approaches means improved game and sex with more desirable women.

Your goal as a man, then, is to keep your testosterone level as naturally high as possible.* This post will show you some ways to do that.

I. Lift heavy weights using compound exercises like the squat, deadlift, and bench press

The science is out and the verdict is in: Steady and consistent weightlifting raises baseline testosterone.

One study of nine elite weight lifter over a two year period showed significant increases in testosterone, leutenizing hormone and the ratio of testosterone to SHBG. [2]The authors concluded that “the present results suggest that prolonged intensive strength training in elite athletes may influence the pituitary and possibly hypothalamic levels, leading to increased serum levels of testosterone”.

There’s a short term boost in T right after a lifting session, and there’s a long term boost in basal T after years of lifting. You should incorporate weightlifting into your life like you do brushing your teeth. Don’t lift every day, though. Overtraining can lower your testosterone.

II. Eat cruciferous vegetables like broccoli, cauliflower and Brussels sprouts

These vegetables have a phytochemical called indole-3-carbinol which is known to lower estrogen and increase testosterone in men. (It appears to not increase testosterone in women.)

III. Whey protein

You should be drinking a glass of this every day with whole milk.

IV. Don’t sit so much

Sitting for long periods of time may lower your testosterone (and does a bunch of other bad stuff to your body). Elevate your work station and begin standing while working through the day. While I couldn’t find a study that directly references the effect that sitting has on testosterone, the studies about sitting that are available conclude that there are so many deleterious effects on the body from prolonged sitting that it is natural to presume healthy testosterone levels would be negatively affected as well.

V. Go to bed at a reasonable hour

Testosterone plummets when you get fewer than 6 hours of sleep, or you go to sleep late at night, disrupting your circadian rhythm. Get 6-8 hours of sleep each night. Fewer than six hours or more than eight hours is associated with increased mortality. You may want to take melatonin pills to help you fall asleep.

VI. Cut back on the beer

Multiple studies have found that binge drinking cuts T levels. Beer is particularly bad on your testosterone levels.

8-Prenylnaringenin (8-PN) in hops is such a potent phytoestrogen that it has been reproted to reduce menopausal hot flashes! [1] This study points out that some women who pick hops by hand have menstrual disturbances (from the estrogens) and used it to reduce the skin temperature in rats, i. e. anti-hot-flash. Furthermore, other researchers expressed concern about the unrestricted concern about the unrestricted use of hops in herbal preparations for women because of 8-PN’s “very high estrogen activity”. [2]

This might explain the famed beer gut on heavy beer drinkers; all that estrogen production is working to deposit fat in their middles, [Ahnold voice] like zee girly vimminmit child!

VII. Eat nuts

Selenium from nuts is good for testosterone production.

VIII. Take fish oil and vitamin D supplements

Omega 3s and vitamin D raise testosterone levels.

IX. Take an NAC supplement (N-acetyl-cysteine)

Up goes your T!, in combo with selenium, at least.

X. Stop running marathons

Extreme endurance exercise lowers testosterone:

The results of the retrospective comparative studies examining isolated, single blood samples suggest lower testosterone levels in chronically endurance-trained males. The subjects in these studies have typically been distance runners who had been involved with the physical training aspects of their sport for 1 to 15 years. In these studies, testosterone levels of the endurance-trained men were found to be 60-85% of the levels of matched, untrained men.

Now you know why SWPL marathon runners look like pasty nancyboys.

***

Testosterone is the enemy of dullness. It is the enemy of marriage and kids. It is the enemy of government, of society, of behaving like a good little poodlecog in the machine. It is the enemy of stasis and soul death.

Testosterone is the fuel of vitality. Of life. When you act to keep it high, you are giving a giant middle finger to all those who would like you to sit down, shut up and follow orders like an obedient bootlicker. There’s a reason betas look so soft — it’s no coincidence that they are likely suffering from low testosterone.

*Steroids is the best way to artificially raise your testosterone, but that subject requires a separate post to explore fully. I’m not an anti-drug crusader. I have no problem with men who want to use steroids to get jacked, or to reverse the decline in testosterone with age. In fact, I believe certain classes of steroids — like deca-durabolin — should be made legal for non-medical consumption. Steroids are like any other drug: smart people can use them without abusing them, to great personal benefit. Stupid people tend to consume drugs immoderately, giving the whole enterprise a bad name.

Your brain on high testosterone:

Your brain on low testosterone:

Any questions?

DIRTY PHOTO ALBUM

If I could give just one piece of advice to my hypothetical son, it would be this:

Never take women seriously.

If I could give him a second piece of advice, it would be this:

Make an indecent photo album of every girl you’ve ever banged.

“Trust me, son,” I will say, “when you’re in your dotage, and all you’ve got is your loving but completely asexual old wife, and the young women walking down the street have stopped returning your flirtations, you’ll thank me when you crack open your dusty dirty digital pics and videos to marvel at… and masturbate to… the fine ass you once tapped.”

“But dad,” he’ll argue, “I want to cherish their memories, not splooge on them. Anyhow, I can always turn to internet porn if I want to get off. In 50 years, it’ll probably be holographic.”

That’s when I’ll explain to him that the best way to cherish past loves is to keep their memories alive and fully expressed through the indomitable tumescence of his stiff cock. What an honor to bestow on a woman! Of all the women in the world… of all the readily available porn… it’s *your* naked pic from 30 years ago, dear love, I choose to stroke off to. And then I’ll remind him how much more satisfying porn is when the featured stars are you and one of your exes in the bloom of youth. Nothing brings back the flood of happy memories like a photo of an ex spread-eagled on the bed, her youthful meatflaps illuminated by the night vision on your camera.

Given that everyone’s sexual future, once over a certain age, likely will be worse than their past, a dirty photo album of conquests from better days will help ease the pain of encroaching obsolescence. It will remind one of the prowess one once possessed, boosting the ego as well as stirring the loins. In my coffin, I would want my dirty photo album placed tenderly upon my chest, to accompany me to hell.

The dirty photo album also serves a purpose in the present. When you are in a rut, and your game has gone soft, a quick glance at the hotties you scored over the years will fortify your resolve, and invigorate you with the renewed confidence that what you once bedded, you could bed again.

11 ILLUSTRATIONS

THE LOOK OF CONFIDENCE

Here is a photo taken in August 1939.

I found it on an excellent site which showcases very old photographs. The description of the photo reads: “Unemployed lumber worker goes with his wife to the bean harvest. Note Social Security number tattooed on his arm.”

Despite this man’s pauper clothes (there was little peacocking during the Great Depression), his jobless status, his search for employment or food at a bean harvest, and his home made out of canvas, he wears the confident smirk and mischievous gaze of an alpha male. What does he have to be happy about? Oh, his attractive wife. And by 1939 standards she is a real hottie.

Shouldn’t he feel ashamed to be dragging her to a bean harvest? Most modern men couldn’t imagine taking their wives or girlfriends on a bean harvest date. It would be a massive DLV. Not only that, but he’s obviously proud of the Social Security number tattooed on his arm. This is one step above waving your food stamps in the air like a certificate of accomplishment. What could be more beta than tattooing the government’s ownage of you on your arm?

Self-satisfaction will see a man through all sorts of tribulations. Radiating confidence, deserved or irrational, is what is most attractive to women. This man looks confident, and his wife stands by him. She has the mousy, hunched over posture of a woman in love. All else that’s objectively negative about him fades to insignificance in the matter of what stirs her heart. In glaring contrast, today we have the spectacle of wives divorcing their dutiful husbands (70% divorces initiated by women) for the sin of catering to her every whim by being “economic partners, lovers, …co-parents and best friends. [A]lso each other’s co-workers, editors and primary readers.”

I have a new system for learning inner game — I call it bean harvest game. This is where you take a woman on a really shitty date, let’s say to a soup kitchen to pick up your rations for the week, and refuse to act apologetic or ashamed of your anti-signaling station in life. Instead, you carry your unemployment and poor taste with the confidence of a master of the universe. Handicapping yourself this way means you have no crutch to close the deal. Everything desirable about you must flow from your internal state. If this doesn’t sharpen your inner game and hone your ability to reframe, nothing will. Expect to be amazed how many women will still sleep with you after running tight bean harvest game on them.

Addendum: I find this picture oddly sensual. I’ve never wanted to bone a woman from the pre-airbrushing era so badly.

VISUALIZING ALPHA / BETA

BOTH

There have been photos of alpha males and beta males here at the Chateau before, but never has there been a photo of the two species of man so starkly contrasted in the same photo. And an aesthetically pleasing photo, at that.

How do we know that alpha male and beta male aren’t socially constructed concepts? Because every single one of my readers, except for the disingenuous liars, intuitively knew exactly which man was which without having it spelled out. You looked at this photo and you knew which man was in control of his relationship and his girlfriend’s fidelity, and which man was on the precipice of a breakup wondering why the sex has stopped.

The photographer won $80,000 for this first place photo, and for good reason. It says so much.

But the important things it says are probably not what the judges or the arts community thinks it says. For that, we must delve deeper, to the hulking monstrous id clawing at the cellar door. Like the dream levels in Inception, the ultimate truth is locked in a vault at the center of the subconscious.

Examine the men’s body language. The beta leans into his girl; the alpha stands a thwart PDA, yelling Stop. The beta rests his plush noggin on his girlfriend’s shoulder; the alpha holds his head high. The beta’s torso is diminutively curled inward; the alpha’s chest is thrust outward. The beta’s shoulders slump; the alpha’s shoulders square up. The beta’s spine is bent; the alpha’s spine is straight. The beta’s legs are closed; the alpha’s legs are splayed. The beta’s hands are groping his girlfriend for reassurance; the alpha’s hands are clasped away from his girlfriend. The beta is Mr. Sleepyhead; the alpha is calmly alert.

Now examine the body language of the girls. The alpha’s girlfriend leans into him. Her eyes are either closed or heavily lidded with contentment. Her left breast presses into his back and her left arm wraps around him. Her chin rests lovingly on his shoulder. She is ensconced in the cocoon of his masculinity, a mere branch dangling languidly from his oaken composure. She wants to merge with him.

In contrast, the beta’s girlfriend leans away from him, her head turned toward more interesting subjects, like the view out the windows. Her breasts point away from him, in directions unknown but undoubtedly exciting. Her entire body is shifted away from his cuddly meanderings. She grips the coffee cup like a lifeline. Her face betrays a hint of annoyance, or perhaps wistfulness. Wistful for what? A longing for renewed passion? She is playing the role of the oak tree, and she resents it. She wants to chop off his branch and merge with the outside world.

The two couples are mirror images of each other.

Alpha body language — aka high status nonverbal signaling — is absolutely critical to any successful seduction, from pickup to relationship management. Women mentally register the gears and pulleys of our body mechanics before they hear our words, and a misstep there means our words will fall on deaf ears. The good news is that alpha body language can be learned and applied to increase your success rate with women.

While the alpha male in the above photo is more conventionally masculine looking than the beta male, if the beta was sitting like the alpha, mimicking his demeanor, he would suddenly look more masculine to the viewer. And his girlfriend would look less like she was thinking about fucking the guy she met in the coffee shop that morning.

SPOT THE ALPHA

The alpha of a mixed group isn’t always the man. Sometimes, the men in attendance are such feeble representatives of their sex that they are eclipsed by the stronger presence of the women. Here is a photo sent by reader Desant who wants to know if the male specimen on the left is alpha.

Although this celebratory feast may not showcase our declining nation’s best and alpha-iest, don’t underestimate Corky’s alpha potential within his social circle. The claw hand and elbow symbolically muscling out his only other male competition is certainly try-hard and awkwardly propped, but he brings game with a stylish display of peacockery — the bulky statement watch, the unusual pendant, the ironically nerdy and retro glasses leash, the bold cerulean undershirt — and an imperturbable facial expression of stone cold confidence mingled with a hidden capacity for dispatching foes with extreme ruthlessness. He is 20 years old today, and he is NOT to be trifled with, motherfucker. Not on this special day. Not when he’s the star of the show. With the precision of a Call of Duty-trained warrior and the passion of a Downs freakout, this guy will rain upon your cursed head thunderous tard blows with his windmill arms before you have a chance to stop laughing long enough to defend yourself from imminent death.

But that’s not all the evidence we have for his alphaness. Admire his overall body language, which is open and taking up lots of manly space. I would not be surprised if he was straddling the bench cowgirl style. His manboobs are thrust toward the camera assertively, as if to say “I dare you to purple nurple me. Do it. DOOOO IIIIIT!! See if you get your hand back.” And that linearly clamped unsmiling mouth from whence no tooth can interrupt his studied coolness says one thing — “My birthday is serious business”. Where is his other hand? Cradling his colossal sack, natch.

(An alpha is in love with his genitals; kneading, fondling, cupping, caressing, complimenting, filming or otherwise drawing attention to them at every legal opportunity.)

Finally, what may be the best evidence of Corky’s status as group alpha is the simple fact that he is the honored guest. What woman can resist swooning for the man of the hour? Birthday boy, military hero receiving a Medal of Honor — it’s a difference of degree. A man gets few moments in the sun in his life; he is wise to capitalize on them when they happen. Corky is capitalizing with a vengeance.

What’s worse than a douchebag? A douchebag wannabe. Thus, the man behind Corky is a strong alpha contender.

Sunkist Tits is without a doubt the alpha female of the group. She is sitting in the Queen’s throne, at the head of the table. (Studies have shown that the best spot to sit at a corporate meeting is directly across from the CEO/speaker, as that is the next most dominant seating position after the head of the table. The most beta spot to sit is adjacent to the CEO. You’ll look like a lapdog.) Sunkist Tits may even be the primary alpha if the two guys are desperately horny beta orbiters, but we can’t tell that from this photo. Her tits are magnificent. I even forgive her manly shoulders for them, because clearly the broad shoulders are needed as a cantilever to support her juicy melons, lest she tip over and capsize.

The girl to the left of Sunkist Tits — a plain looker who cannot inspire me to grace her with a nickname — slouches in defeat while in the presence of a hotter girl. Her face flickers with self-doubt. Her manly chin hints at a closet full of sluttiness.

Green Bag Girl rivals Sunkist Tits in cuteness, and her teeth glow with artificially enhanced whiteness. She slouches too, but that is probably from taking it up the pooper by a black man.

Salem Witch Girl is not bold enough to go full goth, nor self-aware enough to go to a dentist. Unfortunately for her, there is not a man alive (except maybe a lying blog commenter vainly trying to score a stupid debate point) who would rank her higher than the other three girls. Therefore, low value men will swarm her with propositions, figuring she will be quicker to put out. Paradoxically, this means she may in fact receive over the course of her fertile years more male attention than Sunkist Tits, because the world has a lot more low value men seeking the path of least resistance than it does high value men with the balls to approach hot chicks. This knowledge explains her happy face. So while Sunkist Tits gets the pick of the litter, she gets millions of Corkys vying for her hand in pre-marital blowjobs.

VERDICT: Douchebag Wannabe is the alpha of the group.

Reason? Corky may be a cocksure alpha nerd, but he’s still a nerd.

BETA

The only thing this picture is missing that would make it the absolute perfect representation of the de-balled and de-souled modern SWPL man-lite is a “vibrant” infant tucked into the fat bride’s meatloaf arm.

secret secret, i’ve got a secret!

You might call this the 21st century Western equivalent of the drawing and quartering.

ALPHA

Sometimes it’s better to show a picture of a man executing a perfect alpha male pose, than to describe the mechanical particulars in arid detail.

If you can adopt this posture in your dealings with women, you will alter their perception of you in the direction of presuming your sexy alphaness.

Already I can hear the lamentations of the baters (beta haters). “But Prince Harry is a PRINCE! Of course girls will fall for royalty. Duh!”

You obstinate feebs. You miss the point. Harry’s elegant alpha pose — so sure of himself, so intriguingly aloof to the babe on his arm — is the physical manifestation of his self-conception. Naturally, his self-confidence is, in part, a function of his birth status. But it is not the paper upon which proclaims his birthright that women love. It is the man. And the man is the sum of his movements, his gaze, his posture, his words, his character, his ATTITUDE.

Harry’s station infuses his attitude and body language, but by adopting for yourself his mannerisms you can elicit similar rapid heartbeats in women. You won’t elicit the kind of mass pussy wettage that a prince will, but you will see, in your local milieu — your own private prydaho — a noticeable change in the women around you. Their eyes will blaze a little brighter than usual. Their legs will cross and uncross a little more frequently. Their love will burn a little hotter.

Alpha male body language won’t turn you into a prince, but it will make you sexier at the margins. And in the shark-infested waters of the zero sum sexual market, a marginal advantage can mean the difference between sullen loneliness and exuberant romance.

DOUBLE ALPHA (I)

Which one is the alpha male? A lot of times — an uncomfortable amount of time for most equalists who give it a moment’s thought — you can judge a man’s character simply by looking at him; his expression, his posture, his general vibe. Don’t be thrown by the proximity of slutty ladies. Who looks more like an alpha male to you? And then ask yourself, why does he look alpha?

The photo comes from this story. You’ll discover that the guy who looks alpha inevitably attracts his quarry, leaving the beta a broken man, just like millions of betas before him, and family reunions will never be the same. Also, one of the all-time great negs is buried in the article.

I sat with Darren on the sofa with a glass of wine, and suddenly he turned to me and said: “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you looking this attractive.”

That was a Federer backhand right there. Naturally, she lobbed her pussy in return.

I’ve wondered how fathers of sons with pretty girlfriends handle their presence in the household, particularly when the fat wife waddles by to clarify the stark difference in mate value. I know I’d be going for it if the chick was dropping indicators of interest like left-wing Canadian academics drop scientifically flawed, axe-grinding studies.

DOUBLE ALPHA (II)

Trick question: both of them!

Isn’t it funny how our reflexive reaction to scenes of non-chivalrous behavior by men is to view them as intrinsically alpha? There’s something deep in our primitive subconsciousness that tells us “this cocky bastard must be the Grand Poonbah to be able to ignore polite convention and convince girls to wait on him hand and foot”.

Remember, girls are thinking the same thing. Which is why it works.

BETA VALENTINE

The crack team of Chateau clit crits does not review movies too often because most of what passes for entertainment in theaters is rubbish. However, once every decade or so a movie so bracing, so truthful, and so relevant to the cultural moment comes along that we feel compelled to give it a platform for the readership.

The post ahead contains spoilers. If you are a giant vagina, close your eyes and think of momma’s womb.

Blue Valentine is an exploration of a modern marriage in the process of disintegrating, told via alternating scenes between the couple’s sordid present and their romantically heady past of five or six years ago. The flashback scenes aren’t labeled as such; the viewer knows they are flashbacks by the youthful hairline of Ryan Gosling’s character, Dean, and by the fact that there’s no kid around. The effect of the flashbacks is like a prolonged near-death experience, where the characters’ dying relationship is punctuated by gauzy vignettes of happier times.

Although the theater was filled with SWPL women probably on a bender from Glee house parties, don’t mistake this film for a chick flic. There’s too much truth told in the portrayal of a relationship hitting the skids for this to be anything resembling the typical sappy romance movie. For one, there’s no happy ending. Women’s faces after a manipulative cheese-fest chick flic show the telltale signs of throat-lumped weepiness: the glisten of fresh tears on cheeks. But the crowd of women filing out of the theater after Blue Valentine had only the vacant-eyed look of a shellshocked soldier who has just seen his buddy catch shrapnel. Or, in this case, catch a little too much reality.

Quite simply, there hasn’t been a movie in our lifetimes which depicts the fall of a man from charming nascent alpha to inept needy beta, and the loathing that this engenders in his lover, better than Blue Valentine.

Every male reader of the Chateau needs to see this movie, if for no other reason than to absorb the lessons it offers as a cautionary tale. The movie hits upon a number of powerhouse themes of this blog, and doesn’t flinch from the consequences. It makes one wonder if the director, Derek Cianfrance, reads this humble outpost of id brutality.

Michelle Williams plays Dean’s girlfriend/wife/pedestaled princess, Cindy. The two of them are from lower middle-class backgrounds. She’s a young, knocked up slut with daddy issues (she confesses to a nurse in one riveting scene in an abortion doc’s office that she has had “20, maybe 25″ sexual partners, and the guy who got her pregnant — an alpha male wrestler — left her holding the baby bag), and he’s a high school dropout who works as muscle for a moving company who unironically wears American bald eagle sweaters and loves his job because it allows him to drink at 8AM. In other words, they are proles, with tastes, habits and dysfunction to suit.

Gosling and Williams give stellar performances. You will not see better acting unless Daniel Day-Lewis is on the bill. And this is the kind of movie that absolutely requires a high level of acting expertise; the subtle emotions and facial tics that are evoked to flesh out two ordinary people in a downward spiral of contempt, bitterness and fear, victimized not by each other but by ancient, primal mating forces pushing them in opposite directions, are beyond the range of most actors and actresses.

The casting here is important, because an unrealistically good-looking female lead would have strained credulity. Williams is cute, but not hot. She has a thick Teutonic neck, a slight belly roll, narrow hips, and an incipient double chin lurking underneath her long flowing blonde locks. That her cuteness is physically grounded like this helps explain why a guy of Dean’s caliber can feel simultaneously awed by her beauty and motivated by her attainability. Williams’ pedestrian 7 or 7.5 ranking delivers the message that exquisite female beauty is not the only instability factor that can corrupt a marriage; a man’s betaness can do the same.

The critical Chateau (and game) themes this movie hits upon include:

– alpha pump and dumps and beta providers and how women react to each type of man

– negs (AKA teasing) as a pivotal component of successful courtships

– the never-ending cycle of female shit testing

– the flame-out of male shit test failing

– forcing closeness before attraction is built

– the near impossibility of reviving a woman’s love after it has been squandered by beta behavior

– the deviousness of a woman’s female friends

– the well-poisoning that ensues when a woman gains higher social status than her husband

– the absolute irrelevancy of children to influence the modern woman with regard to her relationship choices

– the influence of competitor alpha males on a woman’s relationship trajectory

– the misguided idealism and romanticism of kind-hearted men

– the utter cluelessness of kind-hearted men about the nature of women

– the brute self-denial men practice when they project their romanticism onto women

– the inability of women to understand — let alone control — their own maelstrom of emotions

– the wisdom of the 2/3rds rule when expressing sentiments of love

– the recklessness and stupidity with which the lower classes careen in and out of relationships

– how easily unenlightened men are blindsided by women’s biomachinations

– how easily women can be bedded with simple charm

– how complimenting a woman can turn her off

– how a failing relationship can cause a man to forget what he did to attract the woman

– how a man can lose his sense of self when he allows himself to be defined by the strength of his LTR or marriage

– the foolishness of pursuing a relationship with a single mom

– and the tingle-killer of excessive self-deprecation.

There are scenes in this movie where you will cringe with a mix of disgust and pity. When Dean leans against a door frame, sobbing and pleading with Cindy to “tell me what to do. I’ll do whatever you want to make it better”, you want to slap him hard across the face and lead him to the tree of knowledge that is the Chateau. When he forces a hug upon her in the hopes that it will stir those old feelings and she responds with a stiff-armed turtling, visibly aching to escape his touch, your cringing will reach epic proportions.

Similarly, there is a visceral sex scene, while not very graphic (you only see boobs once in this movie), that you will have a hard time watching. Suffice to say, a woman out of love is no fun to make love to.

The disgust you will feel over Dean’s immolation and Cindy’s cold retreat is made all the more palpable by the flashbacks to times when Dean was the cocky, charming troubadour who swept Cindy off her feet with some solid early game and a hipster ukelele. In what is perhaps the greatest (and thus most realistic) neg ever delivered in a Hollywood movie, Dean says to Cindy, during his second attempt to pick her up, that he “heard pretty girls are nuts. You must be crazy insane then.” Pitch perfect. That, my friends, is how you deliver a competent neg. In fact, Cindy even acknowledges the neg concept when she replies “you have a funny way of insulting and complimenting a woman at the same time.” It wasn’t long after that they fell into bed.

The attention to detail is apparent in Blue Valentine. Cindy gets knocked up by an aloof alpha whom she allows to fuck her raw dog from behind, rutting like animals. He, naturally, cums inside her and issues a perfunctory “Oops, sorry” after he is spent. She rushes to the toilet to urinate out the sperm but it is too late. In another flashback we see her examining a pregnancy stick with fear in her eyes.

In contrast, when Dean first lays with Cindy, he goes down on her. He eats her out dutifully until she has climaxed. We do not see Dean penetrating her during that scene. The message is clear — alphas fuck the way they like to fuck, betas selflessly please their women. Since Dean never has a kid with Cindy despite a flashback scene where he expresses his desire to have one with her, we can assume that either she went on the pill or she required him to use a condom even in the marital bed.

Another message that should not be lost on the viewer: Cindy keeps the alpha asshole’s kid while denying Dean a genetic legacy of his own. She changes her mind while laying down and in stirrups in the abortionist’s office that she wants to keep the kid. Dean seals his fate when he agrees to love and support her and her kid, because he wants to build a family. Cindy, a desperate, broken single mom-to-be, eagerly jumps into a Justice of the Peace marriage with Dean.

But Cindy cannot tame her desire for a higher social status man (read: a bigger asshole), and Dean’s satisfaction with his banal employment, and his profligate flattery of Cindy’s looks, eventually undermine the charm which initially attracted her. Her growing contempt for his beta neediness is so strong that she is willing to cast Dean out and traumatize her kid, who loves Dean because he is a doting stepfather.

This is why you should never treat single moms as anything more than holes into which to dump a few inconsequential fucks. As harsh as that sounds, a worse fate awaits the man who would attempt to build a relationship with a single mom. Every minute of every day, her kid reminds her of the alpha asshole who impregnated her, and whose seed she willingly chose to bring to life. You, as the provider chump assuming the role of the unrelated daddy, will always be second best in such a woman’s eyes, particularly if she chooses not to have kids by you. You will always be that guy who wasn’t quite good enough to burden her with child.

What man would want to live with such a daily reminder of his inadequacy? Well, men without any game, for example. When you feel the restriction of lack of options, you tend to settle for the dregs of womanhood.

Dean is a sympathetic character, so it would have been easy to stoke the audience to his side, but thankfully Cianfrance avoids that pitfall. Though less superficially sympathetic, Cindy is no villain. She is just following the dictates of her Darwinian script. She knows not what she does, and so you can’t really get annoyed with her. She even says as much: “I’m done, I can’t do this anymore!” This is the wail of a woman who feels unsettling guilt for falling out of love with a good man, and yet can do nothing about it.

The only real villain in the movie is the brief appearance of Cindy’s female co-worker, a grade A cunt who shouts “Don’t let him brainwash you, honey” at Cindy as she is leaving the office to calm Dean down. She even has sharp, vampiric teeth which she flashes at Dean through the office glass.

This lack of an obvious foe perhaps explains the blank faces of the crowd leaving the theater; what do you do when there is no one to root for, and no one to revile?

And that really gets at the heart of the matter. The forces that nurture relationships and that break them apart aren’t agents of good or evil. They are laws, like gravity, that we all must accommodate if we want to find love and be happy. Blue Valentine does the best job to date of any movie at illuminating the crass functioning of the mating market and the competing, and mutually alien, desires that animate men and women. It’s a dark and claustrophobic reminder of the fragile contingencies which sustain love. If the movie makes the phalanx of women leaving the theater uncomfortable, it’s only because it hits a little too close to home.

DATING IN THE CITY: A SERIES

ONE

Zeets: Hey man, I just got this email from the chick I had a date with last night. Check it out.

Hello. Just a quick e-mail to tell you sorry, but I’m just not interested. Thank you for that show of immaturity in my car yesterday, it solidified my decision.

I wish you the best of luck in finding someone.

–L.

Me: What show of immaturity is she talking about?

Zeets: I stuck out my tongue and flicked it in and out like a snake. How is that immature? A new post?

Me: Yes, a new post.

TWO

Time for another colonoscopic glimpse into the fetid bowels of the urban dating scene. This city provides enough material for a book.

Damian: I had a second date with that cute 25 year old chick I was telling you about.

Me: Yeah? How’d this one go?

Damian: After we warmed up a bit, she started talking about the incredible amount of sex she had in high school and college. All the guys she banged and the crazy sex acts she performed, threesomes, public sex, etc. She said she’s pretty sure she was a nympho at age seventeen.

Me: Uh oh. Bad sign.

Damian: Right. That’s what I was thinking. As I’m getting more disgusted and aroused simultaneously, she leans in and tells me “Just to let you know, you shouldn’t bother making a move. You won’t get anywhere. I changed my ways. I’m not going to have sex until I’m married.”

Me: Unbelievable. Is every girl in this city a headcase? Maybe she converted to an orthodox religion or something.

Damian: No, she’s not religious. After she drops that bomb, I stared at her for a few seconds, flabbergasted. There was tension. Then I said “Are you fucking crazy? What makes you think you can pull this shit on a quality guy like myself?” I was pissed.

Me: Wow. So I guess that was it, eh?

Damian: Not yet. She starts tearing up a little. I stand up and tell her I’m going. She asks me if I’m going to get a drink. I say no, I’m leaving. She asks if I’m going home. I say no, I’m not going home, I’m going to a bar to meet up with friends, the night is still young.

Me: I love how she imagines you will go home, alone, with your tail tucked between your legs.

Damian: I put on my coat, wish her good luck on finding someone, and leave. I cross the street and look back… I can see the chairs we were sitting on through the window of the lounge, and she’s still sitting there, holding her drink. This broad drove an hour from out of town to meet me in the city, she clearly went out of her way, she was interested… so I have to ask what’s going through her mind when she tells me sex is off the table? She must be used to dating the herbliest of Herbs who meekly accepted her terms.

Me: The irony here is that she was probably never more turned on than right at that moment when you called her out on her shit. I bet that’s the first time she got wet since she became a born again virgin.

Damian: On the plus side I’m five for five getting girls to drive out of their way to meet me near my place.

THREE

More wisdom from the dating trenches of this city full of glorious yuppie headcases.

Damian: So we’re talking on the phone a bit, things are going well, and I ask if she’s free. She says“I’m busy every day this week, but next week works.” Immediately, I lose all interest in her. I tell her “Yeah, sure, maybe. Hey, nice talking to you, take care.”

Me: “I’m busy every day this week”?!? What a turnoff.

Damian: Exactly. It’s not bad enough that she’s BUSY; she has to be BUSY EVERY DAY of the week. How many froofroo dog grooming classes can one girl attend? [Damian imitating nasally stuck-up bitch voice]: “I have a Pilates class Monday, a Zen meditation class Tuesday, a Blackberry addict anonymous class Wednesday, a Yoga class to firm up my buttocks on Thursday, a Professionals in the City $500 happy hour on Friday where I practice shooting down Herbs all night, volunteer missions at the local animal shelter on the weekend, and run run runs all week long to get my chubby ass shape for the marathons that ALL the girls are doing these days! It’s just perfect! My life is SO fulfilled! I love loveLOVE being a woman on the go. So many fun distractions from my childlessness. Ooo, where did I leave my pink IPod?”

***

Here’s some advice, ladies. If a guy asks you out and you’re interested, don’t tell him you’re busy. That shit doesn’t work on us like it works on you. As you are women, I understand it’s hard to refrain from projecting your female desires onto men, but step outside of your solipsistic universes for one second and try to see it from a man’s point of view. We do not get aroused by “mystery”, or “playing hard to get”, or “scarcity”. We don’t want you more because you’re unavailable. We don’t fantasize about you constantly running away to do something secretive in the woods like that dork from Twilight, and then get all excited when you show up out of the blue with a sly grin on your face, leaning against our locker.

What does encourage our ardor for you is quite simple: You, available and naked (assuming you meet our minimum beauty threshold).

If you really are “busy” every day of the week, be extremely apologetic about it. Explain that you would love to see us right now, but you can’t because you’re already committed to a bunch of crap you really don’t want to do. Make us feel like your cooking classes and seminars and book club meetings are an annoying hindrance to seeing us (which they really should be). Acquiring the proper perspective in this way will not only keep us interested in seeing you, it will help screw your heads on right and remind yourselves what is most important in life — finding a man and falling in love.

Most likely, though, you are NOT that “busy”, and instead your week is burdened with a lot of make-work pointless female timesucks to fill the dull aching void of your lives. You would set yourself apart from so many women if you said “Sure, I can see you this evening if you’d like.”

At this nadir of modern American society, knowing what we know about how cosmopolitan women spend their prime years, when men hear “I’m busy every day this week”, we quickly and justifiably assume this means she does not value a chance to be rewarded with the pleasure of our company more than she values an amateur bartending seminar sponsored by a matchmaking company in the business of bringing single SWPL men and women together. If you cannot see the irony in that, you will be alone with your ludicrous standards at the age of 35.

FOUR

It’s another installment of Dating in the City where I chronicle the mirth and madness of dating the headcases and cheap whores that live and work here. The women of this city cough up an endless stream of fodder for my blog. For that, I thank you ladies.

Zeets: You’re not going to believe what this woman said to me when I called. “Let’s meet for a bagel.” What the fuck is that? Let’s meet for a bagel?!

Me: It’s possible for a woman to kill your motivation to see her with just five words.

Zeets: Ah, not to worry, I knew what she was up to. I set her straight and told her “No, we’re meeting at a club that night.” She quickly agreed. I could tell she was overjoyed that I didn’t accept her terms.

Me: There’s nothing more asexual than a brunch date. Sitting there in the middle of the day, spreading cream cheese on your bagel. “Oh this sesame seed bagel is delicious. What do you think? How is your marathon training going?” You want to get a girl into a sexy lounge with alcohol in her.

Zeets: I knew as soon as she said that what type of girl I was dealing with. She’s dated a parade of herbs, one after another, and probably had a bagel date with every single one. I bet they were happy to go. I can just picture these herbs riding up on their ten speeds, taking off their helmets and fanny packs, and giving her a dead fish handshake. [Zeets imitating whiny herb voice] “Ah, ah, nice to see you. I really love bagels. This was a great idea. And, uh, and so it begins.” She wasn’t used to a silverback like me spoiling her script.

Me: She was begging for a caveman to come along and throw her bagels in her face.

Zeets: I was onto her. These girls try to squeeze you into their agenda. Their first instinct is to see if you’ll let them cut off your balls. Most herbs gladly give it up. “Here are my balls! Snip away!” I wasn’t going to let her do that to me. So I brought her back to that time when she was just blossoming into her womanhood and men were exciting to her. I made her feel like a giggling girl again.

Me: That’s all they need. A man to remind them what it was like before modern city life corrupted them.

Zeets: In other news, I removed my old toilet seat and replaced it with a shiny new one. It looks spectacular.

Me: Did your bulk splinter the old one? Who changes their toilet seat?

Zeets: It’s a good investment. Lifts the spirit to see that glittering new throne. A seat fit for a king’s crap! You should try pampering yourself once in a while, pig.

CHRONICLES OF A 21ST CENTURY BACHELOR

“Wait, just let me grab my phone.”

She leaned over my lap, arching her back so her round ass was sticking up in the air. Her jeans were skin tight. “That’s a funny ringtone you’ve got.”

She looked back at me coyly, holding her phone loosely in one hand. “What do you think?”

“Of what?”

“This.” She wiggled her rump. “You like my ass?”

“It’s juicy.” I rested my hand on one cheek, proud of myself that I didn’t have to lie about the quality of her ass.

“MMmmm. Would you like to spank me?”

I gave her a playful spank, making sure to hit both cheeks at once. spank.

“Oh, yeees.” Her eyes were closed. “Hi, Mom…. no, I’m fine… I’m at Amanda’s. Yes, Amanda’s… YES! Yeah.”

“You’re talking to your Mom?!”

“Bye!” Her ass scooted up a little more. “She’s always so worried about me. Spank me again?”

spank.

“MMmmmMMMmmm… uh huhh agaaaain…”

spank spankspank.

“Woooo. Do you like hitting my ass?”

“It’s acceptable.” SPANK. SPANK.

“Oh wow, that feels good. I like it when you hit me harder.” Her hips were grinding mechanically. “Keep going. Hit as hard as you like.”

I hauled off on her ass. SPANK… SPANK!

“MM MMMM!” Humid warmth radiated from her crotch. “Harder harder please pleaseplease.”

“Did I say you could talk?” I was throwing myself into the absurd unfolding scene. “I’ll be the judge of how hard I hit you.”

“Yes, siiiir!” she chirped. She was considerably younger than me.

Spank spank spankspank. Her phone rang again.

“Hi… yeah, I’m OK…” She spoke more words into the phone. “Okaaaay… *sigh*… I’ll call you later.”

“Your Mom?”

“No, my brother. He’s just checking up on me.” She smiled wistfully. “I love them so much.”

A stimulus package of sadistic contempt surged through my veins. I really wanted to inflict pain on this chick. “That’s… sweet.” I stretched my arm behind my head like a pitcher preparing to throw a fastball and sent it hurtling, open-palmed, as fast and as hard as I could into her fleshy bottom.

WHACK!!

“Unghnuu.. uh huhhhh…. oh god….” Did she just come? “Do you want to use something on me?”

“Stop talking.” WHACK WHACKWHACKWHACKWHACKWHACKWHACK.

“Ohohohoh… my god… leave a mark.”

“Get off.” I pushed her off my lap and walked into the kitchen to retrieve a big metal spoon. From my bedroom her phone rang with its annoyingly quirky ringtone.

“*words words words*… yes, Mom, I promise… Ok, everything is FINE. OK! I love you too. Bye.”

I walked into my bedroom. She was naked on my bed, on all fours, her ass turned toward me. She looked over her shoulder at me. “I’m waiting.”

“Your Mom again??”

“Oh… yeah. She calls, like, 15 times a night. She doesn’t trust me.” She started drawing invisible figure eights in the air with her arched buttocks.

“15 times? Does she know you’re here?”

“HA! No way, I told her I’m at a friend’s. Come here. I want more spankings.”

I revealed the metal spoon I had been hiding behind my back.

“Ohoh that’s really going to hurt isn’t it?” She didn’t sound afraid.

THWWWWAAACK!

“OWW, fuck.”

THWACK THWACKTHWACKTHWACK. I tossed the spoon and resumed hitting her with my hand. SPANK SPANKSPANKSPANK SPANK…………….. WHACK! Beads of sweat formed on my forehead. I was giving it everything I had. The sadism was strong in me.

“Ooohshiiiit… gguuuuhhhhh….” Her legs quivered. I could see red marks on both cheeks, even through the dark of the room and the light brown color of her skin. Her labia glistened with pussy juice. I looked at my palm and saw it was moist.

*ring ring ring*

“Wow, your phone… again.” It was her Mom. I spanked her while she reassured her Mom once more that she was at Amanda’s. There was no doubt in my mind her Mom heard the crack of my palm against her daughter’s exposed butt cheeks. She did nothing to stop me.

“Yes, Mom.”

WHACK!

“Ok, Mom, I know.”

SPANK!

“I love you too.”

CRACK!

“Bye!”

THAAAAWACK!

“Give it to me!” I positioned my cock (I had slipped a rubber on while spanking her) at the entrance of her hole and teased the lips apart with the tip. “I’m scared. Go easy, please. Please.” Scared? I wondered to myself if she was a virgin. No way. Way?

I pounded her from behind so hard, so violently, that I knocked her halfway off the bed. Her head and shoulders were dangling over the side. With each mighty reverberating thrust her head banged against the floor. Cataclysmic release.

…

*ring ring ring*

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” It had been ten minutes since the last call.

“Hiii. No I’m fiiiine. Seriously. Everything’s OK. OK okok. YES, I will let you know. Alright! Don’t upset Mom. Thanks. Ok Bye.”

“Lemme guess. Brother again?”

“I have to go.”

“Problem?”

“My brother has, like, this special GPS thing on his phone. He can track where I am by my phone.”

“I see.”

“He probably already knows where I’m at right now.”

“Um. Yeah. Interesting.”

“I should go. He could be on his way here.”

“Fantastic. Are you for real?”

“I don’t know for sure, but he could be coming here.”

“Well then, let’s get you out of here. Metro is straight down Calvert. Go two lights. You could try a cab, too.”

“Sooorrrry… oh god, I can’t find my shoe.”

“It’s here.” I tossed her the black stiletto. “Hey, I’ve got one question.”

“What?” She smiled earnestly at me.

“What does your Dad do for a living?”

“He’s a physician.”

“Huh, a doctor.”

“Well, a physician.”

“And your Mom?”

“She’s a physician too.”

“Nice. Do you have a pillow on your bed that says ‘The princess sleeps here’?”

“Ha ha! I should!”

As she walked out my door, her ridiculous quirky ringtone pierced the air. “Hi, Mom……..”

I deleted her number in the morning.

12 GLOSSARY

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE OFF THE MARKET?

Maxim #98: Marriage is no escape from the sexual market and the possibility that you may be outbid by a competitor with higher value.

Corollary to Maxim #98: Singleness is no guarantee of full sexual market participation.

Expert level commenter Whiskey left a comment about the Tiger Woods affair on a blog I read (at the moment I can’t recall the blog) in which he stated plainly that each woman with whom Woods had a tryst was one less woman available on the dating market to other men. His point was that twelve (in reality, triple that number) Tiger mistresses (or whores, or skanks, or courtesans, whatever you want to call them the concept is clear) means twelve beta men go without a woman at all. Some of the commenters took Whiskey to task, noting, perhaps not illogically, that a woman living as the sex toy of a billionaire golfer is not necessarily off the market. There are six other days in the week, after all. The typical fuckhole might see Woods once a month, which leaves her plenty of time to date other men.

Comforting thoughts, but I’ll throw my experiences with and observations of these kinds of women in the ring and lend support to Whiskey’s point of view. On a ledger sheet, sure, these provisional paramours have lots of downtime to date other men. But a woman’s emotional contours are hardly amenable to the ledger. Unlike men, most women are averse to boffing multiple concurrent partners. It is simply not in the nature of women to be psychologically equipped to handle with grace and steadiness the crass rutting with Cock A one day and Cock B the very next day. Women don’t operate like that. They see a cock they like, they want to be with that cock, and if they succeed all other cocks recede to invisibility, at least until either their preferred cock leaves for good or they grow weary of that cock.

What I am describing is not a slut apologia. The infamous cock carousel that spins like a possessed Stephen King-ian carnival ride in our major urban centers is open for business. But it’s a turgid carousel of consecutive rides, one women normally jump off of before clambering back on to sit on a new, fresh horsey. They aren’t attempting to straddle all the horsies at once.

Now some women of the craving simultaneous schlong variety do exist. But they are extremely rare. Aside from prostitutes (who medicate their perforating souls with the salve of money, drugs, and complete submission to the pimp), only the foulest sluts and most rapacious sociopaths are constitutionally capable of concurrent cock hopping for pleasure and personal gain. Some of these stone cold sluts were likely positioning themselves in Tiger’s target acquisition periphery, and he clumsily obliged like the stiffly off-putting former beta droid he is. But it is also likely that some of his mistresses genuinely fell for the tingly feelings his power and fame gave them, and they forsook all other men to focus solely on Tiger, even if it meant seeing him just once a month.

So Whiskey’s observation has merit. If a man is alpha and unburdened by moral considerations, he will have mistresses and flings and hotel bar hookups. And in turn, those mistresses and flings will drift off the dating market, de facto if not maritally de jure. When an alpha captures a woman’s heart, even if for only a few times a year, her yearning focuses like a laser beam onto him to the exclusion of more available betas in her midst. She will be happier daydreaming of her unavailable lover than talking in real life with second rate suitors.

Maxim #101: For most women, five minutes of alpha is worth five years of beta.

The Tiger Woods bimbo eruption has clarified the seedy underbelly of the sexual market within which we all operate, no matter how many Hallmark platitudes we recite to the contrary to assuage our pestering fears. People get wrapped up in the salacious gossip and revel in the downfall of a celebrity, but behind the jokes and snark of the gawking masses percolates a silent unease. Women spare fleeting thoughts that the men who love them might trade up to a younger hotter model if offers suddenly emerged. Men hide a slow moving but deep river of envy for any alpha male who makes the news by monopolizing enough women to sexually nourish the IT department of a large corporation.

Yes, in 2009 America, there are men who rule over harems. And there are many more men who are eunuchized by this dirty little reality.

Some of the quotes from Tiger’s flings are a case study in female rationalization.

Jamie Jungers (fling #??):

Jamie, 26, who bears a striking resemblance to Elin, recalled: “Tiger and I went back to the room and just started making out.

“It just went from one thing to the next. We ended up having crazy sex for two hours. I remember him picking me up and putting me against the wall. And that’s when it turned into wild sex. It was really good.

“Later I said to him, ‘I don’t know a whole lot about your marriage situation. I know it is very fresh. I know you just got married. I mean, is it going OK?’ He said, ‘Yes, it’s fine, she’s in Sweden with her family’.”

She’s banging a dude who just got married and she asks if his marriage is going OK. No one is that stupid. She asked because by asking she absolves herself of any guilt or accountability for what she is doing. This is how women think. They are submissive, empty vessels to their core.

Jaimee Grubbs (fling #???):

TIGER Woods was rated as “horrible in bed” by one of his lovers, it was revealed yesterday.

The damning verdict came from cocktail waitress Jaimee Grubbs, who says she had a 31-month fling with the married golf superstar.

One would think 31 months is a long time to fuck a man who is “horrible in bed”, but alphas get a lot of leeway. Or she’s just pissed she was turned in for a flashier upgrade.

The 24-year-old mistress told fellow contestants on US TV reality show Tool Academy she had also “hooked up” with George Clooney.

But while she was full of praise for the movie heartthrob, she mauled Tiger.

Telly pal Krista Grubb, 27, told The Sun: “She was showing all these texts saying they were from Tiger and George.

One she said was from George said, ‘When can I get in there again?’ He signed it G.

“She said she met him while working as a cocktail waitress in Los Angeles and they would meet up in Vegas and he was a lot of fun.

“Jaimee said George was amazing but wasn’t so nice about Tiger. She just kept saying he was horrible in bed.”

Let this be a lesson, men. If you want rave reviews from pump and dumps, live your cad lifestyle without apology. Women not only respect that in a man, they love it.

EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK OF ALPHA

Every text or email or recordable instance of conversation you have with a girl must follow this simple rule:

If it were given a public airing, let’s say on a blog or a sports stadium jumbotron, you should feel comfortable with what you have written for the world to see. You should not feel an urge to wince, because it will be clear to everyone reading it how alpha you are. If the thought of someone other than you and your girl reading your permanently archived romantic exchanges makes you cringe with embarrassment, then you are doing something wrong that will eventually lead to your girl dumping you.

An example of texting* from a place of beta-tude:

YOU: Good morning, lovechop!  I had a gr8 time w u last nite!

HER: Me too. Can’t wait to see you again.

YOU: U free this thurs? Miss u. Muaahmuuah!

HER: Aw. Thanks sweetie. Call me later.

YOU: :DWill do! 

People reading this will puke a little and say “What a lameass. Like that’s gonna last.”

An example of texting from a place of alphaness:

YOU: {nothing}

HER: U there? Haven’t heard from u in a while.

YOU: Hey, babe. What’s up?

HER: The love last night was incredible! Have u been thinking of me?

YOU: Just a little.

HER: ?? Miss u already, baby. Muuah!

YOU: {nothing}

The difference is clear. This man has kept his responses shorter than his girl’s and intriguingly aloof. He has refrained from emoting effusively. An objective third party would say “He’s cool. Bet he gets laid a lot.”You want to be a man people think gets laid a lot, even if you don’t.

*Avoid texting on a regular basis. It is borderline beta. A man should not have the empty time to punch in a frivolous conversation with a girl using only his thumb.

CONTRAPTION

I didn’t bother unhooking her bra. I never do anymore. I pulled it off her like a t-shirt. As I’m squeezing her boobs (and taking a mental note of her remaining “years-to-sag” based on a complicated formula I devised involving underside crease length, armpit spillover when prone, and depth of press), I glance over at her bedside table and notice an unusual object illuminated by the thrift shop lamp. It was a huge, purple vibrator — the luxury model, by the looks of it — with ridges and nubs and hooks and multiple arms sticking out from it, like a saguaro cactus.

I’m pretty sure there was even a scrolling LED screen. It sat there nonchalantly like a potted plant, or a paperweight. Wow, this is embarrassing, I thought. She forgot to put it away. It was so large and ridiculous that I had to interrupt our foreplay to ask her about it.

“Um, that’s quite a contraption you have over there. Just… laying out.”

“Oh yeah, that’s my little toy.” She didn’t sound embarrassed. “I use it every Sunday to masturbate. I can cum ten times with that baby.”

“Ten times? Straight through, or spread out over the day?”

“Like, within an hour or so.”

“Yeah. Impressive.” I tried to figure why her naughty “secret” wasn’t more titillating to me. Back when I was 18 this sort of discovery would have been exciting. Oh, yeah, I would have thought, This chick is kinky! She’s gonna do all sorts of crazy shit in bed! Now that I’m older and more discerning of women I sleep with, a giant purple saguaro vibrator staring at me from across the room doesn’t make me more turned-on by the woman who uses it. In fact, just the opposite. I lower my estimation of her as a worthy girl in whom I would be happy to take out on creative, exciting dates. Ladies, this is what a man thinks of you when he notices your purple saguaro and you don’t seem fazed by him discovering it:

novelty seeking (slut)

sexually adventurous (slut)

horny all the time (slut)

unconcerned about men’s opinions of her (good god, what a slut)

Now 1 – 3 aren’t problems if the girl possesses reasonable degrees of those urges, or if you’re just looking for an uncomplicated fling. You don’t want to hitch your weenie wagon to a frigid ice queen. Number 4 is a flashing red light that she is a cheating whore at heart. Any girl who can’t be bothered to take the two seconds worth of effort to hide her absurd sex toys when a man comes over is a girl who won’t think twice about cheating on you. Even if most girls aren’t delicate, precious chaste creatures, you at least want the girl you are dating to pretend like she is and acknowledge your opinion of her matters — and one thing that matters very much to guys, even if they won’t admit it to the girl’s face, is that the girl he is with isn’t the town orifice. Men want their women, at a bare minimum, to take token stabs at modesty. It’s endearing to us and suggests you will be worth keeping around. We don’t want women to embrace their sluttiness as if it were a postmodern badge of honor. A good woman understands this and heeds a man’s romantic sensibilities.

The trick for men is finding a balance in women between unrepressed sexuality and faithful frigidity. Too much of the former = cumguzzling slut. Too much of the latter = blue balls. A proudly displayed purple saguaro says “I’m a slut, and you’ll like it.”

I’ve found that the more power I acquire over women, the pickier I’m becoming. I won’t call back a girl who has a purple saguaro on her nightstand. This choosiness has strengthened my character. I’m a better man for it.

BE A SKITTLES MAN

Reader Fabian linked to a funny entry on the ‘Don’t Date Him Girl’ blog:

He had several “lady friends” who stayed the night at his house and he claimed they were “Just friends”. He frequently forgot important details about me, such as the fact that I had a sister, my birthday and what sorts of hobbies I had. He blew me off constantly, would return calls a week later with the excuse of “I was busy.” I often spoiled him with gifts, rides and sex only to receive a bag of Skittles in return. (I don’t even like skittles!) That was the only gift I ever received from him! I met a new friend and we were bonding over “worst ex-boyfriend stories” and suddenly we realized “boy, a lot of these sound the same… Was his name ____?” IT WAS THE SAME GUY!!!

In an unintentional juxtaposition for the ages, reader joel left a comment in my Pimp Slap post about a wedding he attended:

I just attended a wedding the bill for which, paid mostly by the parents of the bride but with substantial input from the groom’s parents, would easily pay for the private education of several children. It could have paid for a modest but nice house in a good neighborhood in many parts of the country. Hint: The flowers cost about $15,000.

It is amazing what the matriarchy does. The Darwinian purpose of this, I believe, is to keep the husbands working their asses off, and keep them broke, so they can’t go out and buy a younger woman for their next wife or keep a concubine.

Really. There is no other logical explanation for this excess.

Two men, two vastly different experiences with women. One man gets all the pussy he wants for the bargain basement price of a bag of Skittles, while the other man marries a woman in a wedding ceremony featuring flowers that cost $15,000.

How much you want to bet the first guy’s rotation of girlfriends is hotter than the second guy’s $15,000 flower wife? How much you want to bet the first guy gets all the anal sex and blowjobs he desires while the second guy will be begging for his once-a-month sex as soon as the vows are exchanged? If one of these guys is a herb, who is it more likely to be?

FACT: Odds are good you will enjoy a bounty of pussy and love if you act like Skittles guy. FACT: Odds are good you will spend the rest of your life begging for tepid sex from the same old boring pussy if you act like $15,000 wedding flower guy.

Be a Skittles man. Don’t be a $15,000 wedding flower man.

I’ve been in the company of a lot of women who hailed from all sorts of stations in life. I know the sound of a woman in love, and it usually sounds like the woman in the Skittles story — bitching and moaning about a world class asshole, chasing him from here to kingdom come to cajole him to surrender at least a small measure of his autonomy (which he never does), and always… ALWAYS… going back to him when they have a bad fight. I’ve been that guy.

I’ve also been around the kinds of women from the wedding flower story. They usually sound like they are more in love with the idea of $15,000 wedding flowers than they are with their man. They never chase, and their men are in the permanently disabling position of constantly bending over backwards to satisfy their women’s whims. Women who are princess-ified have power over their men, even over the kinds of men who themselves have power over other men. The women know this and they subconsciously resent it.

Joel is right. The matriarchy in all its silly manifestations — extravagant weddings, diamonds-nookie barter, pop culture propaganda, daddy government disease — is structured to handicap men. To cut them off at the knees. Fitting, really, because a man on his knees is exactly where he’d have to be to agree to $15,000 wedding flowers. The finances aren’t the core issue; it’s the corrosive effect such a wasteful expenditure for a woman will have on her attitude. The matriarchy loathes and fears Skittle Man, the freeloader who nonetheless basks in the love of many women. The matriarchy would rather men be like Wedding Flower Man, slaving dutifully as a nameless, faceless cog in the machine paying his dues for his two pence of pussy. Society’s Little Helper.

And at the end of the day, what for? To thanklessly pump out cannon fodder for the wars of the future? Fuck that sideways. The rulebook was written to constrain free thinkers like you. When you know the score, when you understand that this life is all there is and all there ever will be and your legacy in gold or works or kids means nothing when your consciousness is obliterated to nothing and your deathbed is lined with the garland of regret and pleasures denied and the memory of your decades of pointless sacrifice crawls slowly across the walls like night shadows to suffocate you in your final doom… only then will you look your blushing bride in the eye and inform her that there will be no $15,000 wedding flowers and she can hit the bricks if that’s unacceptable to her.

Better yet, tell her there will be no wedding and no marriage. She can love you without needing the permission of the state.

Some newcomers are aghast when they read my stuff. They think this blog must be a joke or the ravings of a lunatic, a madman driven to the brink by a particularly damaging experience with an ex. No. While I’ve had my joys and sorrows and loves and heartbreaks just like any other man possessing a wealth of experience with women, on the whole most of the women in my life have been and continue to be cherished loves. My lunacy is the clear-eyed vision of Neo after the matrix is revealed to him. Reality makes lunatics of us all, but only those with the eyes to see and the ego to spare ever embrace it unconditionally.

CHICKS DIG JERKS: GAME IS ITS OWN STATUS

I love the chicks dig jerks series. Why? Because nothing better reveals the actual, instead of professed, sexual preferences of women than the real life men they boff. And quite often these men are the bunghole of society.

Today’s installment would be frickin hilarious if it weren’t also so bloody violent. Eh, it’s still a knee slapper.

Two pretty girls enter the ring to fight over one thug wannabe. One girl will not leave, killed when the other girl stabbed her in the chest with a kitchen knife and left her to die in the street.

It starts with a love triangle. Always best for bringing the drama.

He did it again, Sarah told her best friend.

Her boyfriend, Josh, kept saying she was the only one. He’d been telling her that the whole time they’d been together. More than a year.

But that day she found out he had been hanging out with his ex — this girl named Rachel.

All morning, while she suffered through school, Rachel was texting Sarah, boasting that Josh was with her. Again.

One of the leading indicators of alphaness is how many women fight over your asshole affections.

I’m so over it, Sarah said.

Maxim #73: When a girl emphatically insists she is so over you, she’s never been more into you.

He did it again, Rachel said.

Her boyfriend, Josh, had slept over the night before, then bolted. He swore he cared about her, but it didn’t feel that way.

Worst of all, she kept finding evidence that he was still seeing his ex — this girl named Sarah.

Playa gonna play!

For months, Rachel’s friends had been telling her to forget about Josh. She could have any guy she wanted.

It’s true. These pretty girls who pine for lowlife assholes have lots of choices in conventionally defined high quality men. Yet they cling like baby chimps to their jerk lovers. Wazzup wit dat, B?

Rachel and Sarah hated each other, saw each other as competition. But they were more alike than either would have liked to admit.

And more alike to a hundred million other women. Once you strip away the packaging and the cocktail party fluff, women are essentially interchangeable. Players know this, which is why they swim in pussy while romantic idealists struggle to claim one overharvested plot of poon.

So who is this dashing Lothario the girls love with all their young hearts and open snatches? Meet Josh Camacho.

But the main thing Rachel and Sarah shared was Josh Camacho. […]

Josh had curly hair, the color of coal, spilling across sculpted shoulders. Black eyes, a long nose, wide lips curled into a sneer. His dark jeans hung low on his slim hips. He stood about 5 feet 5, but walked with the swagger of a bigger man.

Josh loved posing for cell phone portraits: flexing his biceps, waving a gun, showing off the tattoo that arcs across his back in inch-high Gothic letters: CAMACHO.

While seeing both Sarah and Rachel, Josh kept up a relationship with a third teenager, a girl he called “my baby mama.” They’d had a son together. He spent time with the baby but didn’t pay child support.

For a while, in high school, Josh cooked at Chick-fil-A and Pollo Tropical. But after graduation, he didn’t go to college, didn’t have a steady job or a car.

Chick-fil-A! That’s high status, ladies.

Here is a photo of the three lovebirds:

So what does this guy bring to the table? Let’s see…

Good looks? Not really. He’s got the skinny man six pack going for him, though. And of course the… ahem… exotic allure.

Money? Nope.

Job status? No.

Social status? Not any societally approved status. But he does have multiple women chasing him, which is a powerful form of social status. In fact, the most powerful kind.

Fame? Not when this was going down. But now he’s been preselected through the roof! Go long on his future lay rate.

Kindness, emotional support, and domestic chore splitting? No, no and fuck no.

Looks to me like this guy doesn’t offer women much of anything, if we go by what women — and the entire cultural apparatus — tell us that men should be offering them. But wait, there’s more. Here is what Señor Camacho *does* bring to the table:

A cocky smirk. Slay lady, slay.

A righteous tattoo. Because how better to advertise your reproductive fitness than a self-referential tribute etched into your back?

A cool, unflustered demeanor. He knows the pussy is coming, so why sweat it?

And game. Oh yes, my friends, this kid has got game, and got it good. Keep reading for a prime example.

A lot of doubters of the efficacy of game insist that game is a charade that only works in the short term to fool women, and that women will eventually figure out the man doesn’t have “real” high status. Stories like this put the lie to that thinking. Game is its own status; the mere application of game is a demonstration of status, and not just a proxy for status. A cocky smirk and a devil-may-care attitude is as much real male status as a big bankroll. Often, it’s higher status. See: Mark Zuckerberg. This loser thug gets more and higher quality — yes, HIGHER QUALITY — pussy than a fucking billionaire.

And the continual application of game causes it to become second nature, an unthinking process, so that it is no longer a deliberate mimicking of the alpha traits women love but an extension of a man’s nature. Josh Camacho may have been born with some natural game, but undoubtedly his first successes with women reinforced whatever latent confidence he had, and the smirk that started as an affect soon became a subconscious reflection of his weighty ballsack and supercharged ego. Game will do the same for any man; the successes with women build on each other until your alpha pose isn’t a pose anymore. The opposite is also true: continual failures with women will build on each other until the latent, baby beta in you grows and consumes your soul.

Conclusion: if you want to nail good-looking women as efficiently as possible, and to keep them around fighting for your attention, start with learning game.

Game/charisma — One to six months to begin seeing results.

Money — Five to fifty years to earn enough to make a difference in attracting women.

High status professional career — Four to twelve years slogging through academia for the proper credentials.

Fame — Infinitesimally low odds.

Good looks — Luck. Or plastic surgery (see: money).

It’s a no-brainer.

Furthermore, if you want to bang the HOTTEST babes, learn uncaring asshole game. The hotter the girl, the more she will tingle for an unrepentant asshole. Corollary: if you want to date haggard cougars who’ve been plunged like a backed up toilet for twenty years and would settle for any old kind-hearted beta to help them raise their bastard spawn, then skip the asshole game. It’s overkill.

What was it about Josh that was so alluring? What made the girls swoon and dream of him at night and exclaim their undying love and tell their friends and family that “He’s special. You don’t see what I see in him” and stab a competitor in the heart in a jealous rage?

Well, here’s a telling glimpse at the source of his power:

Sarah texted Josh.1:06 p. M.: “Whatever Josh, you get so mad at me for everything but you don’t give a shit when she puts something up or says something. You always believe her.”

1:08 p. M. “It’s like no matter what I do she’s always that much better.”

1:13 p. M. “All we fight about is her or something that has to do with her, and it sucks. I hate fighting with you . . . I love you so much, but this shit hurts.”

Hours passed. Sarah tried again.

6:36 p. M. “You say you love me, but you don’t even have the decency to text me back?”

Finally, at 8:02 p. M., Josh typed, “Bring the movies.”

“Bring the movies.” Step aside, Skittles Man, there’s a new kid in town — Bring the Movies Man. This kid has mastered laconic text game. Overgaming man should take note. In the future, whenever I hit a stumbling block with a woman I’m trying to bed, I’ll remember the philosophy of “bring the movies”, and instantly my game will tighten and my ladykiller attitude will reassert itself.

Damn this chick isn’t calling me back? Wait… bring the movies!

Three dates and we still haven’t banged… bring the movies!

How do I reply to this weird text from her? Bring the movies!

She’s trying to make me jealous by flirting with another guy. Bring the movies!

She refuses to do anal. Bring the movies!

What else did Josh Camacho have going for him that girls found irresistible? He understood female psychology, and used that knowledge to his advantage.

“When a teenage girl feels another girl is intruding on her territory, when she feels someone is disrespecting her, those are the things that upset them most.”

Josh Camacho may have understood this. Though he later denied saying it, his girlfriends remember him declaring, “If you love me, you’ll fight for me.”

Is this manipulation? Or romance? Whichever it is, in-demand girls can’t get enough of it.

Sarah was her dad’s sidekick. He took her to karate classes, Lightning games, Keith Urban concerts. She rode beside him in his cab, blaring the radio, singing country songs.

“Sarah loved to sing and dance,” said Danielle Eyermann, her friend since preschool. “She was always making up these crazy moves, pretending she was Britney Spears.”

Sarah also loved the cock of badboys. Like most hot chicks.

What I just wrote above is harsh, but necessary. The sugar and spice veneer needs to be stripped to the knotted wood below. Fathers across America need to understand what motivates their blossoming daughters, what primal forces shape their decisions and their reckless impertinence. For without that understanding, many parents will continue being hoodwinked by the predators in the weeds. And the predator isn’t who they think it is…

it’s their own daughters’ ids.

“[Sarah] just fell in love with [Josh Camacho], right then,” Amber said.

He said his name was Josh. Soon, he would be a senior at Pinellas Park High.

Two months later, Sarah told her parents she wasn’t sure she still wanted to be a veterinarian.

She didn’t know what she wanted to do, really. Except transfer to Pinellas Park.

Feminists wept. And yet, I’m sure they’ll find some way to rationalize the patriarchy for being at fault of dashing this young girl’s career dreams. Must be stereotype threat, or something.

Josh’s command of game is obvious:

Josh and Sarah flirted through the summer. But that fall at Pinellas Park High, he would hardly acknowledge her. He would just cut his eyes at her, Amber said, tip his chin.

In November, they finally got together. But even then, “he would never hold her hand or walk with her, claim her in front of other people,” Amber said. “When they were alone, he was all over her.”

PDA is beta. Josh understood this.

Everyone said Josh was Sarah’s first kiss, her first boyfriend, her first everything. He made her feel beautiful, like she mattered.

But her friends were worried. The first sign was when Sarah started wearing pants. Sarah always wore shorts. Even in winter.

“Josh didn’t want other guys to see her legs,” Amber said. “He started telling her who she could hang out with, who she could talk to.”

Chicks like to be led by men with psychosocial dominance. Josh understood this.

Sarah started spending all her time with Josh. She was so scared of losing him that she was losing herself.

Chicks love the drama of unstable relationships. Josh understood this.

Josh saw himself as tough and streetwise. Sarah pretended she was too. On her cell phone, she stored photos of Josh apparently smoking pot, Josh waving a gun. She downloaded hip-hop songs like Stop Callin’ Me and Chopped N Skrewed.

Chicks love men with strong identities. Josh understood this.

Where was Sarah’s father in all this?

She begged her dad for a pit bull. “You gotta be joking!” he remembers saying. He referred to Josh as “the rat.” He kept telling her, “That boy is no good.”

“But she was in love,” Charlie Ludemann said. “You can’t do nothing about a teenage girl in love.”

“The rat”. Pretty accurate description. Ok, so the father was aware the kid was a loser. But he sounds stupid — “can’t do nothing” — so it’s likely he didn’t have the brainpower to figure out a plan of action. Too bad, because there is something you can do about your teen daughter in love with a badboy…

You can ritualistically humiliate him in front of her. Nothing drains the passion from a girl’s love faster than a public diminution in her lover’s status.

Let’s see if the father took my advice:

He couldn’t keep Sarah away from Josh, so he invited Josh over for dinner, took him to ball games. To keep an eye on him.

“Don’t let nothing happen to her,” he said.

Nope. Instead, he elevated the kid’s status and welcomed him into the family. Dumbass. So how’d that “don’t let nothing happen to her” work out for you, pops?

Sarah had never been in any kind of trouble, but now that started to change.

In the first six months she was with Josh, police interviewed her six times, all over public confrontations. She and Josh screamed at each other at intersections. Yelled at Josh’s baby mama in the parking lot of the movies. Once, Sarah said Josh had punched her in the face and he admitted it. Her parents wanted her to press charges, but Sarah wouldn’t.

Chicks fall in love with men who hit them ALL THE TIME. It’s the dirtiest little secret about female psychology that the feminists try so desperately to keep hidden from public consciousness. I’m not surprised Sarah balked at pressing charges.

The next time her name was in a police report, Rachel’s was in it too.

Cat fights are sexy until someone’s pierced heart is spurting blood onto the street.

Soon a comment appeared under Rachel’s post. It suggested that Josh had “found better.”

It was from Sarah.

The biggest misogynists are other women.

Sarah didn’t feel she was worthy of Josh. Without a job or a car, how could she compete? Plus, she told her friends, she still had a curfew!

Rachel is so much prettier, she thought.

But she had already given everything to this guy — her senior year, her heart, her virginity. If he didn’t want her anymore, who would?

Rachel was cocky. How could Josh want anyone else? Look at her, she had her own car, her own apartment.

She was so much prettier than Sarah.

Camacho was playing these two girls like a fiddle. Master game. And all it required was an aloof attitude, an amused demeanor, and a terse communication style.

About 11 p. M., the time Sarah was supposed to be home, she and Josh were playing Wii at his sister’s house when headlights pierced the windows.

Josh recognized the car: Rachel’s red Saturn.

“Now I know why you’re not talking to me — because you got her,” Rachel texted Josh.

“That’s right,” typed Josh.

Alpha. No apology, no dissembling. If you thought that would turn off the girl, you thought wrong. The Betas of the Month winners could learn from this kid.

It’s a wonder [Camacho] had the dexterity: By then, he later admitted, he had thrown back five vodka shots and smoked seven White Owl blunts of marijuana.

“I don’t like you no more. Why are you down this street? Go home.”

I think I’ve ably proved the point of this post. To go on would be torture for the pretty lie pissants. I’ll just end on this game-unrelated note:

America is doomed. Way to go, progressive elites. GOOD JOOOOORB.

13 BONUS MATERIAL

DON'T BE THAT GIRL

Women have a mental laundry list of traits they want in a man. Unlike men, it is not so simple for them to see an attractive guy from across the room for a sum total of 1.5 seconds and immediately want to have sex with him, no questions asked. They throw out hoops to jump through and head games to separate the worthy from the pretenders. As sexual gatekeepers, women rely on this complex social interplay to assess a man’s rank and deny or grant him admission to her body.

A crucial part of seduction is role reversal. You want to turn the tables on women and use their psyops against them. A man can magnify his desirability simply by having standards beyond face, boobs, and bum. It is intoxicating to a woman to be pursued by a man who will judge her for more than her looks. That means sticking to a mental list of qualifications women must meet if they want to enjoy the pleasure of your company. The trick is to pay it more than lip service; having standards means nothing if you don’t actually believe in them.

I know from experience and scientifically-valid astrological textbooks that certain character traits and behaviors are like signal flares of a drama-prone incompatible relationship. If a girl jumps on top of a bar to dance for an appreciative audience on our first dateI know she will be a poor choice for a girlfriend but a great ride for a torrid fling.

To any girl I meet:when I strike up a conversation with you this is what is going through the back of my head:

Don’t be that girl…

… who thinks diamonds are a better best friend than a dog

… who lost touch with her femininity

… who has given up on love

… who pretends she can play like a boy

… who flakes

… who knows what she wants a little too surely

… who is an attention whore

… who is practiced in the art of aloofness and indifference (that’s my job)

… who cannot handle teasing

… who has sexual hangups

… who cannot take a sincere compliment

… who has lost her joie de vivre

… who doesn’t understand that men and women complement, not compete with, each other

… who re-applies her make-up every 10 minutes

… with daddy issues

… who doesn’t at least reach for the check

… who likes being a trophy a little too much

… who reads between every line

… who curses and flips the bird a lot

… who uses too much trendy slang

… who will accept flirting from other men while we are out on a date

… who mugs for invisible cameras

… who is externally validated

This may seem like an exhaustive, impossibly unrealistic list, and for most girls maybe it is, but compared to the list of demands I occasionally read on craigslist from the sorts of women who’d be happier in love if they paid for it, I don’t think I’m asking for much.

INTERNATIONAL TRUTH DAY

– people will only turn against an alpha male when he attacks a weak woman

– it is open season on weak men who do not know their place. Attacking them will raise your status. Defending them will lower it

– total honesty can only be accomplished anonymously

– sexually attractive people can get away with more. And they will have more willing apologists excusing their actions

– when confronted with uncomfortable truths, most people will resort to the “cultural conditioning” argument. it is fear of the unchangeable that motivates them

– when a woman praises a man it is more often given with the goal of changing his behavior

– when a man praises a woman it is more often given with the goal of earning her sexual favor

– status is everything; nearly everything in life is best understood through the prism of status wars

– there is a sexual market. It operates under the same basic laws of supply and demand.

– marriage is no escape from the sexual market

– the sexual revolution benefited alpha males the most

– prostitution is dating minus self-serving rationalizations

– prostitutes and sluts undercut the only source of women’s power

– ‘crime causes poverty’ is truer than ‘poverty causes crime’

– young single women will always vote liberal as a rule. Big government is a husband and father substitute

– shame is a powerful motivator. It is a dying art in the west

– alimony is ransom

– no-fault divorce is the poison in the well of the institution of marriage

– absent total war or economic meltdown, age of marriage will continue to rise, birthrates will continue to fall, and the percentage of the never-married will increase

– success comes to those whose desire is stronger than their fear

– uncontrolled jealousy is your worst enemy. Controlled jealousy your best ally.

– hate is as natural as love. like love, it’s most rewarding to throw yourself into it completely

– love can exist without fidelity

– make love when you can, because it is good

– lenin said it best: who? whom?

– proximity + diversity = war

– good people care more for the death of a pet than they do for 100,000 tsunami victims

– there is no meaning of life except to fuck. It is utter pointlessness. You are a machine designed to serve the interests of recombinant dna

– nerd = fat woman

– celibacy is living death

– effeminate men are detestable

– so are aggressive bitchy women

– the exceptions don’t make the rules

– we are animals

– hurting people is fun

– there’s no god

– there’s no soul

– there’s no karma

– we’re all going to die

– and it’s much later than you think

besos

UNIVERSAL TRUTHS DAY

In keeping with the spirit of the first International Truth Day, here is another installment of universal truths by which you can guide your life and deflect the sophistry of your foes.

***

The louder people protest and the quicker they resort to insults the closer you are to telling a truth they don’t like.

The angrier someone reacts to criticism, the more likely your criticism is accurate. Multiply anger factor by 10 for any criticism of a woman.

If you can afford to put yourself down you have value.

If you can brag without inspiring resentment or annoyance you don’t have value.

Every woman — and I mean EVERY woman — will cheat if enough conditions are met.

The minute you start spending money on a woman is the minute she starts to expect having money spent on her.

Corollary: If you spend on a woman like she’s a whore, that’s exactly what you’ll get.

If you become famous worldwide and leave hundreds of children and grandchildren as your legacy you will be the same memory-less nothing after your death as the solitary homeless bum who dies in the gutter. May as well live in the now and maximize your pleasure.

The only times to laugh at yourself are when it raises your value, or mitigates a drop in your value.

Legalizing prostitution will reduce the incidence of rape.

Soliciting prostitutes will alleviate the symptoms of malignant betatude, but the only cure is the love of a woman freely given.

Never spend more than a few drinks’ worth of money on a woman before you have fucked her. If you’re going to pay for a woman, may as well go to a prostitute; at least you know she’ll put out.

If you have no other choice, treating women like shit will bring you more sexual and romantic satisfaction than treating women nicely.

Don’t get married. The piece of paper is unnecessary for having a loving relationship with a woman. Any woman you are dating who tells you otherwise does not love you completely.

The question to ask yourself is not “Will she like me?”, it’s “Do I want her?”.

The strongest frame you can bring to any interaction with a woman is the frame of qualifying her.

The strongest skill you can bring to any interaction with a woman is the ability to listen and remember.

The strongest first impression you can make with a woman is the way you walk over to her.

The strongest image you can present to a woman is one of contrast. Nothing builds intrigue like contrast.

Bitterness is created, not born.

If you’re not mentally prepared for your girlfriend to leave you tomorrow, she will be more likely to do so.

What you will never hear in marriage counseling: The divorce rate would drop in half if men learned to say Shut the fuck up and women stayed the same size they were on their wedding day.

Every woman has an inner whore. Pay her in the currency of a good fuck.

Don’t allow the biomechanics of love to spoil the beauty of it for you. Don’t allow the beauty of love to blind you to the reality of earning it.

People are at their most sincere when they’re pissed off.

Don’t take yourself seriously when other people are. Take yourself seriously when other people aren’t.

If you need to set rules for yourself, the Three Date Rule is a good place to start.

Indulge hate like you would indulge love. The energy of both can be a creative force, and it makes you a well-rounded person.

It is more likely to be true that a wife will love her deformed husband than a husband will love his deformed wife.

The biggest difference between men and women? A man will stick his dick in an attractive stranger’s warm pussy without exchanging one word.

Men who truly believe in feminism are beta chumps. An alpha may parrot the lies of feminism but he won’t take them to heart or act in accordance with its principles.

Your genes don’t give a shit about you. Their goal is to replicate, not make you happy.

You will get more pussy if you substitute going out Monday nights for Friday nights.

Sarcasm is the tool of the insecure.

If you catch your woman lying to your face, leave her immediately. No more good is to be had from that relationship.

Adopt a mentality of abundance instead of scarcity. It will become a self-fulfilling philosophy. In this way you will never fear to lose a girl. And in your fearlessness she will not want to leave you.

Make a habit of imagining you will die in a year. What would you do differently today?

The best way to gain perspective is to focus on those below you. The best way to gain motivation is to focus on those above you. Strike a balance.

Don’t let anyone tell you revenge is the instinct of the weak. They’ve just never experienced its sweet deliverance.

Children’s games make great adult dates.

Pity is a form of contempt.

When you’ve lost your curiosity, you’ve taken one step closer to vegetable status.

A happy fulfilling relationship starts with you believing you are better than your woman.

You don’t really give a shit about the poor.

Condoms suck.

Circumcision will make you last longer, at the expense of pleasure. It is a discredited barbaric practice.

Women love men who love themselves. Men love women capable of loving someone other than themselves.

You can gain more knowledge from a Wikipedia entry than traveling to lay on the beach in a foreign country.

Don’t be ashamed to create your myth.

Credentialism is the philosophy of the fearful, the self-doubting and the deferential.

A woman who has won your heart will slowly lose interest in you unless you take steps to counter it.

Make love when you can, because it is good.

GRABBING THE NEW YEAR BY THE ZEROES

1. Shun losers. They will magnify your worst personality traits.

2. Acknowledge your strengths AND weaknesses. Improve those things about yourself which will benefit most from your efforts and avoid squandering your energy trying to attain minimal competence in areas you are naturally weak.

3. Dispel negativity. Always picture yourself at the top of the mountain looking down than in the valley looking up.

4. Don’t defend your limitations. Your ego can as easily hold you back as propel you forward.

5. Jettison politics from your personal life. Jawing about political ideology is worse than useless — it’s a time suck and a trick played by your status-seeking reptilian hindbrain on your frontal lobes that does nothing to bring you more happiness OR status. Your vote really won’t matter. Don’t believe me? When was the last time a significant election was decided by one vote?

6. It’s OK to hate. Like greed, it clarifies.

7. When in doubt, affect a pose of indifference.

8. Live by a fluid code of ethics. There will be those times when acting unethically will be personally advantageous and relatively consequence-free. In these cases the guilt won’t last more than five minutes.

9. Fuck resolutions. They are for people who couldn’t get their shit together the previous 365 days.

10. You are not a special little snowflake, but you should act like you are. If people are going to form impressions of you it’s better they make false positive ones than true negative ones.

11. Stop living your life as if karma will reward you for your goodness and smite your enemies for their badness. A mystical moral payback system does not exist. See: Chairman Mao.

12. If you are a guy with options, don’t get married. It is a raw deal. If you do get married, and the inevitable shittiness of it reveals itself to you in phony headaches, mundane monogamy, domesticated servitude, escalating expectations, and divorce theft, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

13. There is no such thing as unconditional love. If a girl gains 50 pounds her boyfriend will fall out of love with her. If a guy loses his job and drifts into months of unemployed depression his girlfriend will fall out of love with him. Thinking clearly on this will give you the best chance to find real love.

14. Never compromise on love. It is the only thing in this world that isn’t bullshit.

15. Many of you will think #14 contradicts #13. You would be wrong.

16. The next time you think girls are sugar and spice and everything nice, just remember… they like to be choked.

THE OMEGAS AMONG US

Standing on the long escalator into the bowels of the Woodley Park metro, a small Asian woman excused herself to get by me as she strode down the descending steps briskly. Just in front of me, a family of four stood like grazing cattle on both the left and right sides of the escalator, heavily obstructing the passage of the tiny woman who was now trying to squeeze past them. As she squeaked “excuse me, excuse me” multiple times vainly searching for openings to circumnavigate the human cattle, they smirked and refused to budge and began spitting a fusillade of comments at her. “This is an escalator, not stairs.” “It’s not us that’s supposed to move, honey.” “You never ride an escalator before?” “Don’t be a little bitch, we ain’t moving for you.” “Son, just stand still, she ain’t supposed to be racing by like this.”

After a few seconds of this witty banter and threat of physical altercation, the Asian woman richoted off the man’s gut and shot out of their gauntlet of flesh. Briefly disoriented, she composed herself and resumed her jog down the escalator as the guffawing family continued flinging accusations and insults at her. When she reached the bottom she looked back up at the family, muttered something unintelligible, and flipped them a petite Asian bird. The father yelled back “fuck you bitch, you dumb bitch” then looked over his shoulder at the rest of his family and at me and my company, a vapid grin creased across his inbred face, laughing sourly as his fat sow wife and two kids took his cue and laughed along with him. His son, a boy of perhaps five, repeated his dad’s words: “yeah, you bitch!” The dad tenderly put his hand on his boy’s head and tousled his hair, and a few more “fuck”s and “bitch”s were shared in solidarity amongst the family members.

The father swiveled his head and made eye contact with me, presumably in search of proximate allies, but I didn’t give him the satisfaction of laughing with him. Instead, I curled my mouth downward and narrowed my eyes, making sure my disgust for him and his Morlockian broodclan was obvious. My eyes swooped slowly over all four of them — a white family from out of town, judging by the faint hillbilly accent I heard. There was the father with close-set eyes and a face wider than it was tall, the sweaty stringy-haired fat pig mother who wheezed with each labored breath, the little boy (a rapscallion in training no doubt), and the little girl. I sneered one word, audible enough for them to hear: “class”. There was a still moment when it seemed as if he and his wife were registering my reaction and deciding what to do about it. The father’s smile dropped and he turned back around.

Fortunately for him, he did nothing. Maybe he could read the seething contempt on my face and sensed the lurid scenario playing itself out in my mind, the visceral desire I had, given the slightest pretext, to shove his filthy loser face into the escalator machinery, ripping his eyes and mouth and flesh and sinew off the bone and kicking the fat brood sow so hard in her bloated belly she is rendered infertile, as her children mewl helplessly nearby. Yes, he made the right decision to shut his trap. He knew, on some deep level, I was his better, and he would get no succor from me.

My intuition and keen eye has guided me well in seeing the big picture. America is currently fracturing hard and deep into two, irreconcilable groups — the genetic losers and the genetic winners. And the chasm between them is growing wider, a leap from one side to the other in either direction ever more incomprehensible. I am, in my humble outpost at the cultural hinterland where PC politesse yields to the merciless attack machinery of my wrecking ball truths, turning the mirror on civilization, and stripping bare the sugar coating civil society sprinkles on our discourse and beliefs to protect losers like the family in this story from the ghastly knowledge of their own worthlessness.

There was once a time when the lower ranks of society would admire the upper ranks, and work hard, however ineffectually, to acquire the habits and virtues of the upper classes on a journey of personal betterment. There was once a time when the upper ranks understood their duty to the lower ranks, and constrained themselves publicly in an act of noblesse oblige, to serve as example for their lessers. Today, that dynamic is destroyed. The losers know they’re losers, but they no longer give a shit. They wallow in their wretchedness like pigs in mud, sticking a porky hoof up the pinched sphincter of anyone who would encourage them otherwise. The winners know they’re winners, and despite their tissue-thin rhetoric to the contrary, know that it wasn’t hard work but the luck of the DNA draw that they aren’t rolling around in the sty with the pigs and who, if you get them behind closed doors and pry liberally with single malt scotch, secretly believe the left hand side of the bell curve barely even qualifies as members of the same human species. So now we have two groups, staring distantly at each other across the tar pit of our shredded national identity known as pop culture, who don’t give a shit about the other, and are feverishly living their lives to guarantee that a shit will never have to be given.

If you think this is sustainable, you have only to sense the bubbling resentment surfacing not only in the urban jungle where resentment is the engine of self-delusion, but in once placid regions like small towns and college campuses, to know it is not. Soon, there will not be enough gated land behind which the elites can barricade themselves and continue peddling their hypocritical pissant platitudes. The orc hordes will swarm like locusts and devour everything in their path. Even the danegeld will lose its power to pacify, if for no other reason than that the source of funds will not keep up with the hungry multiplying maws of the beasts of chaos. If you feed it, they will come.

The West is doomed. Unfortunately, there is no rescue from this cycle of inevitability. There are solutions, but they will never be accepted, for the languor and the stasis has metastasized, an ablative bunker mentality has burrowed deep in the national psyche. And so the decline will play itself out to the bitter end, quietly or explosively, it doesn’t matter.

The past 40 years have witnessed a cognitive stratification on a scale I believe is unparalleled in American history. The unspoken philosophical forces of credentialism and good breeding, coupled with the substrate of economies requiring abstract mental prowess to successfully navigate, have never been more actively practiced than they are now, and in so blatantly a fashion to what is said to the contrary. Assortative mating is the buzzword of the moment, but more significantly it may be the one true philosophy if pragmatic adoption is any measure of truth value. Yet confront the overclass with this untidy ugly truth and you will be treated to a stream of sophistic shit so thick you’d think the actions of a genocidal regime could be happily rationalized.

Come to think of it…

When words and deeds tug so hard in opposing directions, something’s got to give. The center cannot hold. And so, because I am a blessed humanitarian, here is my patented solution for saving America:

Build a wall at the southern border and kick out the last 30 years’ worth of de facto invaders, and cut off all immigration for two generations. It makes zero sense to add more misery to an already growing and spiteful underclass.

Alpha males need to start fucking and having babies with hot lower class women.

That’s it. A wall is cheap to build when compared to the costs of maintaining a military presence in a third world tribal cesspool. And upper class alpha males used to fuck and breed with their hot secretaries until said secretaries began going to college and getting higher paying jobs. Now, because of peer pressure, social finger wagging, or expedience, alpha males have forsaken fucking hot lower class women in favor of co-worker lawyer cunts, and the result has been a ghettoization of the genetic misfits to breed exclusively among themselves. Spread that upper class alpha seed around and you begin to rebuild the common mission and shared trust of a nation, one recombined double helix at a time.

In the meantime, I’m arranging my life in such a way that I minimize the amount of time spent in the company of losers. They’re fucking depressing.

THE MOST OBNOXIOUS WOMAN IN THE WORLD

I wander the scorched wastelands of the human psyche, explore the depths of the musty ideologies hidden within, and drag them kicking and screaming to the oasis of cleansing truth so that you may be entertained from the comfort of your Barcalounger. My crusade over the past three years finding and eviscerating the hated enemies of beauty and truth has finally brought me face to face with perhaps the most execrable creature to stalk the consciousness of the Holy Hedonist Empire.

I hesitate to write this post because the horror you will find within is nearly beyond comprehension. I risk credibility if it turns out the entire article was a put-on, an act to stimulate an immunological response from a healthy psyche. I accept that risk, because the greater risk is in allowing a genuine abomination to go unridiculed.

From a Washington City Paper interview (hat tip: reader Mike), pay your shilling and enter the tent to feast your eyes upon Jaclyn Friedman, AKA “Fucking While Feminist”:

Jaclyn Friedman is, in short, a feminist rock star. She is the executive director ofWAM!: Women, Action & the Media. She edited the incredible Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape, and continues the work of dismantling rape culture in her weekly pro-sex column. She writes as compellingly about taking off her shirt for fun as she does her college sexual assault. And she has been fucking under these conditions for nearly 20 years.

What is the difference between sex with a pro-sex feminist and sex with a pro-sex normal woman? Earplugs.

Fucking while feminist presents a peculiar set of challenges for the pro-sex single. How do you talk rape culture on a first date while still managing to get laid once in a while? How do you find the feminist guy who won’t self-flagellate to the point of unfuckability? How do you avoid dying alone, basically?

I’ll answer those questions for the City Paper interviewer.

“How do you talk rape culture on a first date while still managing to get laid once in a while?”

You don’t if you want to date men who aren’t afraid of their own penises.

“How do you find the feminist guy who won’t self-flagellate to the point of unfuckability?”

Such a man doesn’t exist. If he does, he is lying to you. Or gay.

“How do you avoid dying alone, basically?”

Cat cryogenics.

J[aclyn] F[riedman]: The way I hope it will work is that they ask these initial questions [about my rape culture books] before we meet in person. So then they can go offline and collect their thoughts and then respond to me. My profile says I’m a feminist. So a lot of people who would be really scared off by me, we don’t get very far. When the whole Polanski thing was going down, I had this big argument with a guy about Polanski. First date. And last one.

No surprise there. Though I can only read her words, I can vicariously hear her grating voice plucking out my ear hairs one by one, slowly to maximize the pain. Could you imagine going on a date with this shrike? She’s already arguing with you before the first round is ordered. If I get into *one* big argument with a chick within the first three months of dating her, I seriously consider dumping her. But a big argument on the first date is a giant red flag that proudly proclaims “Kneel before my mighty shit test, and pass or be emasculated by the swinging of my serrated clit dick!” Some shit tests are not worth passing. Sometimes it’s just an ugly, gnarled soul staring daggers of challenge at you from across the table.

Do you have any feminist litmus tests?

JF: I would like for there to be a set of feminist litmus tests that I could reference and use to find the right guy. Right now, I feel like I’m in an endless cycle of asking myself, “Am I willing to let this slide?” I’m mostly dating guys right now, which is fairly new for me. From my early 20s to my mid-30s I dated exclusively women and trans men.

Ah, so she’s in her late 30s or 40s now. That would explain the sudden biological urge to merge with sperm-manufacturing normal men. Experimentation is all fun and games until your subjects stop finding you a worthwhile lay.

I’m not romanticizing that, like “it’s so much easier with women”—let me tell you, it’s not. But it’s a different set of questions you have to ask. I don’t feel like I can go in to these dates expecting dudes to know as much about feminism or sexuality studies or rape culture [i. e., lies], the stuff that I live my life talking about and thinking about. I feel like I’m going to die alone if I do that.

Will your slavish adherence to your comforting lies have been worth it?

Here is what’s depressing about dating while feminist. Feminism is what I do with my life, it’s how I spend my days, it’s my job, it’s not just an opinion I have among many other opinions.

The most dogmatic ideologues are always running on the righteous fury of their opinions. They have to, because one stop to take a breath could mean the entire edifice of lies crumbles down on them from forward momentum. They secretly suspect, late at night when the terrifying silence leaves them alone with their innermost thoughts, that everything they believe is a lie. And so they shout hate and fear at the heart of the world. Imagine waking up one day to realize your entire life was a farce? And a deadly farce at that; one which withheld from you some of the greatest joys of life.

If I had a hardcore litmus test, the pool of men I could date would be so tiny.

I’ve got news for you, my cougar child. It’s getting tiny regardless of any litmus test you might impose. Which, ironically, will cause you to impose ever stricter litmus tests. The bruised ego drinks deeply from the chalice of the sour grapewine.

And then when you weeded out men who are gay, the men I don’t find attractive, the men already in monogamous, committed relationships—really, I would never get laid again. So I do feel that I have to try to be flexible out of necessity.

Older women either stiffen into celibacy or become Yogic masters of dating flexibility. As “Feminist While Fucking” seems to possess a man’s libido, she has opted to accept the dreary fact that her waning sexual market value places constraints on what she can, and can no longer, demand from the men she dates.

But if I were to end up with someone—and I do want a long-term, stable relationship with someone at some point—they would have to be feminist on some basic level. They would have to be.

Hey, betas, guess what! You now have your shot at tasting the curdled nectar of an aging radical feminist who has spent her prime years servicing a battalion of men, women, and transsexuals. All you need to do is nod in agreement when she discusses the finer points of the imaginary gender wage gap. Sound like a good deal? And turn off that sexbot when I’m talking to you.

Right now my basic litmus test is this: Is he interested in feminist issues when I bring them up?

Sure. I’ve noticed feminists are quicker to jump into bed than non-feminists.

And can he talk about them in ways that express curiosity and engagement and respect, instead of defensiveness or dismissiveness or attachment to stereotypes?

Feminists have hairy armpits and daddy issues.

If we can talk about this stuff in ways that are interesting and productive, I can work with it most of the time.

A good marriage will have a higher status husband and a better looking wife. Discuss.

[T]he only cisgender man I’ve been in a longterm relationship was a feminist when I met him. We would have feminism arguments where I was educated by him, and vice versa. And I thought, well, how lucky I am to have found a feminist guy! And he ended up being an ass . . . in somewhat unrelated ways.

Disturbed hardcore feminists are attracted to assholes, too. Red alert on Drudge.

Is there anything that men can mention in their dating profiles that tips you off to feminist compatibility?

JF: Well, this is my test: When I look at personal ads, I look at their lists of favorite books, movies, and music, and they have to list women in all of those categories.

Ok, here goes.

Favorite books: Anything by Stephenie Meyer

Favorite movies: Anything by Leni Riefenstahl

Favorite music: T. A. T. U.

Heh.

I also don’t respond to any guy who says they’re looking for a woman who “doesn’t have drama,” not because I have a lot of drama, but because I feel like that is code for women who have opinions.

This is super double secret code for “I will blab endlessly about utter bullshit while you sit and listen with the patience of a saint”.

. . I also have a couple things in my profile that are screeners, that I’m hoping will turn off people I don’t want to be bothered by. I mention feminism. I say I’m a size 16. But I do it all in a flirty way, like, ’size 16 can be sexy,” not in a way that says, “I AM ALL THESE THINGS. DEAL WITH IT.”

Proud feminist, aging spinster, fatty. What’s not to love? Rhetorical.

PS: Size sixteen cannot be sexy. Saying so won’t change the fact that the vast majority of men, particularly desirable men who don’t need to lie to get sex, are repulsed by the rolls of blubber you refer to as “curves”.

So when you tell people that you’re a feminist, do they have assumptions about what the sex is going to be like?

JF: A couple of guys were shocked that I like to play various games in bed, because I’m a feminist. That’s always really interesting to me. I’m always like, ‘Are you kidding me? The feminists I know are the craziest women in bed you can find!”

There’s gotta be an iron law of the land that states the less desirable the woman, the kinkier she is in bed. Compensation in da houze!

So do you meet guys who pass the feminist test but then turn out to be disappointments for other reasons?

JF: Oh God. There is a type of feminist guy who is so eager to fall over himself to be deferential to women and to prove his feminist bona fides and flagellate himself in front of you, to the point that it really turns me off. And it makes me sad, because politically, these are the guys that I should be sleeping with! You know what I’m talking about?

Color me unsurprised that a woman’s gina tingle doesn’t oscillate to a man’s political beliefs.

They haven’t internalized their feminism, so it’s always being externalized. And it places a lot of pressure on the women they’re with. There’s this very self-conscious performance of feminism. And it does sometimes feel like they want a cookie. . . . OK, I know this is such a delicate conversation to have, but I want those guys to wake up because those are the guys I want to want to sleep with!

You want to want to sleep with men but your abrasive, unfeminine personality attracts eunuchs. Clever eunuchs who tell you what you want to hear in hopes of getting in your XL pants, but eunuchs nonetheless.

I sort of feel that I get cast in these dudes’ narratives as the Hellcat Dream Girl, there to prove how bad-ass they are because they’re dating such a bad-ass woman. They think it’s cute or sexy. But when I use that smart, outspoken bad-assery to challenge their own perspectives, it’s suddenly not sexy at all.

No shit it’s not sexy. What man worth his stones wants to spend time with a woman always pitched in heated battle against every perceived slight to her worldview? Especially when her perspective is a mountain of lies. Men get enough of that from other men. The point of women is that they aren’t men. But maybe we are entering an era of manjaws and art fags.

I feel like the same thing happened with the guy I dated for two years. He liked the idea of being a guy who would be with someone like me, but ultimately it turned out that he wanted someone who wouldn’t challenge him as much, a person who was easier and quicker to sweep away. I got evidence of that when, within three months of breaking up with me, he was dating a 23 year old who lists her political views on Facebook as “moderate.”

I hope this field guide to Americanus afeminoxious was as unpleasant for you as it was for me. But really, there was nothing new here. Guests of the Chateau have all seen these creatures before, in special holding cells, their cries of torment under the lashings of my bulldykewhip striking a dulcet note on weary ears.

The more interesting question is what kind of man would so debase himself to willingly spend time in such a woman’s company? To suffer the tortures of the damned, his ears ringing with the demonic cacophony of femicunt war shrieks? To betray the last, good measure of his manly essence for a pittance of overripe pussy? What kind of man, indeed?

GAME RESOURCES

A reader emails:

Dear Chateau,

I am a 32 year old quasi-alpha who is looking to make up for lost time. Due to my history and upbringing, I have had few successful relationships with women. I am returning to college to finish my degree. Could you make some suggestions so my time in college is more fruitful this time? Could you recommend some resources to read (besides your blog, which totally rocks btw)? Do you do phone counseling?

I get emails from readers requesting game resources at least once a week. I think I’ve written about resources before, but in case not, here is a reference post that lists what I believe is very good pickup material. The following is what I consider top tier game resources.

The Mystery Method

Still the bible of pickup. Read this one first because it will introduce you in layman’s terms to the evolutionary wisdom that underlies the seduction of women, and very quickly moves on to real, practical techniques that you can immediately apply in field. Mystery Method isn’t the final word on pickup, and it has some flaws in its focus on opening large groups in nightclubs that might put off more introverted men, but it continues to be one of the best reference manuals out there. There is a new and improved edition that dispenses with some of the off-putting acronyms.

David Deangelo’s Cocky Comedy and Interviews with Dating Gurus Series

A good game resource should do one thing well — it should give you tools that you can easily envision using in the field and will result in immediate positive feedback from women. Deangelo’s cocky/funny banter does just that. (PS: You can find a lot of this stuff for, ahem, considerably less than retail price.)

Savoy’s Magic Bullets

Savoy used to be in business with Mystery before he broke out on his own and wrote “Magic Bullets”. (Mystery reformulated his company from “Mystery Method” to “Venusian Arts” because of a legal issue surrounding the breaking up of the original pickup companies.) I’ve only glanced through this book, but from what I saw it looks good. Right on point and fluff-free. Lots of solid routines and ready-to-use examples.

Pickup 101′s Fearless First Impressions, Attraction Secrets, and Art of Rapport DVDs

Lance Mason may not be a game innovator like Mystery, but he puts it together in a very polished product. His “Dress to Impress” style guide and his “Physical Confidence” DVDs are also noteworthy.

Roosh’s “Bang”

“Bang” gets a prominent place in this list because, quite frankly, I find myself referencing Roosh’s pickup guide more often than the more expensive selections above. It’s a slim volume that you can turn to in a pinch, like just before heading out for the night. The best thing about “Bang” is its accessibility; there are “cool, down to earth” lines in here that you can actually picture yourself saying, even if you are a shy guy.

Neil Strauss’ “The Game”

This is not so much a reference manual of game tactics as it is a biography of the pickup lifestyle. Important in its own right, but not required reading if all you want are practical tools to begin seducing women. Nevertheless, you should read it if for no other reason than that it brings you into a world of possibility and shows you the lives of a bunch of non-famous dudes successfully bedding hot women using nothing but game technique. Also gives you a glimpse at the unbalanced genius that is Mystery. Inspiring.

Tony’s Layguide

The progenitor of Mystery and Style? A landmark lay guide. Read it.

Real Social Dynamics “The Blueprint”

I haven’t read much of Tyler Durden’s stuff (he runs RSD), but I keep hearing from people that his Blueprint series is excellent. So I include it on the top tier list caveat emptor.

My second tier list of game resources:

After reading the above, you may find some value in the following products.

Stephane Hemon’s Girlfriend Training Program

I’m on his mailing list. Sure, he’s a loopy new-ager, but he’s got some valuable things to say about inner game and the nature of women. Don’t let the chakra stuff put you off. Hemon used to have a Squirting Orgasm video guide, but I think he stopped selling it because of the breakup with the girl featured in the video. Learning to give your girl a squirting orgasm is an underappreciated art. Or you can get lucky and bang blogger chicks who squirt naturally.

The Real Social Dynamics and Stylelife internet forums

The internet forums are some of the best places to get the latest in game techniques. I’d participate in these forums if I could remember my damned user ID and passwords.

Badboy ebook and DVDs

Probably the closest PUA to a true natural. Guy walks with a limp from a war injury acquired during the Serbian conflict and bangs hot East Euro babes. One of the few pickup dudes I’d actually like to meet in real life.

Carlos Xuma and Zan DVDs

Smooth operators. The older gentleman’s pickup resource.

Robert Cialdini’s book “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion”

What do sales, politics, business, love, and pickup have in common? Everything.

Robert Wright’s evopsych book “The Moral Animal”

My very first introduction to evolutionary psychology. Eye-opening. Goes to show that a liberal can occasionally put out a worthwhile book.

Matt Ridley’s evo book “The Red Queen”

The red pill.

***

This isn’t an inclusive list by any means. I tend to weight material that has been out in circulation for a while because, to be honest, I haven’t read much game stuff in the past year. So if anyone has a resource they’d recommend, or a suggestion for material of a recent vintage that might contain improvements on old ways of doing things, feel free to mention it in the comments. We should never stop learning.

MAXIMS

Maxim #1: Game is learned charisma, streamlined seduction. Game is as sincere as its practitioner’s intent.

Maxim #1a: Women desire men of better quality than themselves.

Maxim #1(a)(2): Men want to be turned on by their women. Women want to be proud of their men.

Maxim #2: All successful seductions are adversarial in nature.

Maxim #3: Bang first, befriend later.

Maxim #3: In the state of nature, men are expendable.

Maxim #3: Some human beings are worth more than others, despite their equality under the law.

Maxim #3: Whenever an attractive girl tells you she hates assholes, or describes her experience in the past dating assholes and claims to avoid them now, or recites a laundry list of asshole-y things guys do that she disapproves of, you can bet your weight in gold bricks that she needs you to be an asshole to her.

Maxim #4: Trust no one missing a sense of humor.

Maxim #5: Charisma before silence, silence before self-incrimination.

Maxim #6: Never Make It Easy For A Girl

Maxim #7: Your girl will thank you for your steadfast devotion to your belief in yourself.

Maxim #7: The greater the age difference between the older man and the younger woman, the tighter his game will need to be, barring compensatory attributes.

Maxim #7: The sweeter and more innocent a girl seems, the greater the likelihood she has been in a gangbang.

Corollary: Always assume she is a whore. It helps kick the legs out from under the pedestal you will be tempted to put her on, and it is more often than not true.

Maxim #8: Marriage is a social mechanism designed to exchange sex for indentured servitude.

Maxim #10: It’s pussy wetness uber alles.

Maxim #11: The greater the sexual market value disparity between the husband and his depreciating wife, and the more kids they have, the more life the husband has sucked out of him.

Maxim #12: If you are comfortable with your game being splashed across a JumboTron for thousands of people to read, then you are doing it right.

Maxim #12: The cumulative experience with hot women imbues the womanizer with a genuinely aloof aura that attracts even more women to him.

Corollary to Maxim #12: If you don’t have an adequate amount of aloofness-inducing experience with hot women, act like you do.

Maxim #13: When in doubt, game.

Maxim #13: Calling a girl out on her lie accomplishes nothing.

Maxim #13: When the love is gone, women can be as cold as if they had never known you.

Maxim #14: Whenever you’re at a loss for what to say to a girl you like, imagine you’re a man in bed with three beautiful women. Then say what that man would say.

Maxim #15: Female cultural equality = male dating inequality. Female cultural inequality = male dating equality. You cannot have both. So sayeth human nature.

Maxim #17: Be narcissistic. There is no greater divergence than that between a woman’s stated disapproval of male narcissism and the rapidity with which she jumps into bed with a male narcissist.

Maxim #18: The two fundamental propositions upon which all game theory rests are male choosiness and female abundance. All alpha males have these two mindsets in common.

Corollary to #18: Male choosiness and female abundance do not necessarily have to be true for the strategy of behaving as if they are true to be effective at seducing women.

Maxim #19: The alpha male thinks and acts more like a woman than a man in matters of seduction. He understands his adversary’s psychology, and uses it to shatter her defenses.

Maxim #19: Never take a woman’s word; a woman’s actions are the best interpreters of her thought.

Maxim #19: Making a woman feel a little emotional pain will reward you a thousandfold in returned physical pleasure.

Maxim #20: Do not ever reveal the details of your finances to a girlfriend or wife. Avoid getting joint accounts. As a man, you must draw a line in the sand separating money from love. If she balks, dump her.

Maxim #20: The gina tingle is the principal moral code to which women subscribe. All other moral considerations pale in comparison.

Maxim #20: The meaner a girl is with you, the likelier she wants to fuck you.

Corollary to maxim #20: The nicer a girl is with you, the likelier she thinks you’d make a great eunuch friend.

Maxim #21: Betas pay, alphas split, super alphas profit.

Maxim #21: Never talk about getting into a relationship even if the girl says that’s what she’s looking for.

Maxim #22: A woman with inflated self-esteem is a woman who will erroneously believe she is too good to date men normally in her league, unless steps are taken to bring her self-esteem back in line with reality.

Corollary to Maxim #22: A dating market lopsided with unrealistically high self-esteem women will shrink the pool of men available to date and marry, with the consequence that women remain single longer than they would otherwise.

Corollary to the corollary to Maxim #22: The most effective measure society can undertake to increase the incidence of marriage and the quality of married life is to stop artificially propping up women’s self-esteems.

Maxim #23: The defensive crouch is where pussy tingles are born.

Maxim #23: Limited options = looser standards.

Maxim #25: Withholding sex is the tactic of a woman who has already lost. It is mutually assured destruction.

Maxim #26: Women secretly hope that you won’t rob them of the opportunity to make themselves vulnerable before your alpha inscrutability.

Maxim #26: If a woman says the word “sex” in conversation with you or about you, no matter the context, it means she’s thinking about having sex with you.

Maxim #27: You have to make marriage an attractive alternative for MEN — not women — if you want the institution to thrive.

Maxim #27: Pussies are more pliable in the company of competing pussy.

Maxim #27: Beyond beauty, a woman’s attractiveness to men is partly a function of her feminine vulnerability, or her ability to mimic feminine vulnerability.

Corollary to Maxim #27: Men are turned off by overconfident, assertive, proudly self-sufficient women.

Maxim #29: A woman’s moral outrage is inversely proportional to the accused man’s alpha status.

Maxim #30: When in doubt, ask yourself “WWJD?” What Would a Jerkboy Do? Then do that.

Maxim #30: Ignore a woman’s flaws at your peril. They are the key to reconfiguring your perception, and thus her attainability.

Maxim #33: NO girl wants to be thought she isn’t a special little snowflake.

Maxim #39: Stop smiling so much! Girls will think you’re ingratiating. Girls prefer men they can ingratiate themselves to.

Maxim #39: A woman’s standards are like a house of cards: kick out one from the bottom and the whole edifice crashes down.

Maxim #39: If you want a wife stay clear of investing much in girls who constantly remind you they like to have “fun funfun” and “get bored easily”.

Maxim #39: Never tell a girl how much you make, even if you’re loaded. In case of marriage, keep separate accounts.

Maxim #41: It’s never innocent fun.

Maxim #41: A girl who mentions rape or suicide during the first few months of dating in any context other than as a third party making a wryly humorous observation immediately outs herself as a crank with borderline personality disorder who will be a living nightmare as a girlfriend.

Maxim #41: The more experience you have with women, the more you’ll know which women have experience with men.

Corollary to #41: It is the inexperienced beta male who is most often in the dark about a woman’s sexual history and liable to be victimized by the cheating slut.

Maxim #42: Xenophobia is good for diversity.

Maxim #44: Women can’t feel impassioned without also feeling a little unease.

Maxim #44: Women will not hold it against you for trying to get into their panties on the first night. In fact, they will respect you more for your boldness and willingness to follow your manly desires.

Maxim #45: Before sex, no girl you are attracted to is important enough to merit an emotional reaction should the pickup attempt turn bad.

Maxim #45: Any conversation with a woman that is not explicitly framed by you to maximize your perceived status will lead to her forming a negative perception of your value over time.

Maxim #45: Daddy’s girls are status whores. You will never measure up to her father. Don’t even try.

Corollary to #45: Not trying will turn her on. Be indifferent to her father’s accomplishments.

Maxim #48: The feminist loathing of male desire is at the root of all their complaining about men and the dating scene. Feminists, in their hearts, despise the freedom and longevity of male sexuality. And they particularly despise that freedom when lowly beta males attempt to exercise it.

Maxim #49: If you have no game, or worse, anti-game, little else will compensate for your unattractiveness.

Maxim #49: Waving a roll of benjamins at a woman will not give her tingles. In fact, it will often do the opposite.

Maxim #49: If you plan on cheating and get caught, act like a total dick who did nothing wrong. Your girlfriend will then wonder if it’s something she did.

Maxim #50: The prime directive of the alpha male is fornication. Anything which hinders the fulfillment of the prime directive is to be vanquished as a foe or excised from the mind as a cancer.

Maxim #51: Commanding women to do your bidding will give you a bigger beta margin of error.

Maxim #54: When a woman has incentive to lie, she will choose lying over honesty EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Maxim #55: A man can shoot way out of his league if he acts as if he is the one occupying the higher league.

Maxim #55: If she’s hot, why would she bother with online dating?

Maxim #55: The training of the woman distills to this essence: Punish her bad behavior consistently, reward her good behavior intermittently.

Maxim #55: The degree to which you handicap yourself in an effort to signal high status to women should be commensurate with your game expertise and your confidence level.

Maxim #55: Less talking is always sexier than more talking. If you struggle to find something witty to say to a girl, stop trying. Flailing for the “right” words is approval-seeking beta behavior that women can sniff from across a room.

Corollary to Maxim #55: A grunt or aloof gesture trumps a try-hard, strained, verbose comeback.

Maxim #56: The more limited a person’s options in the sexual market, the laxer his or her mate standards.

Maxim #57: Beta males mate guard, alpha males disregard.

Maxim #57: Never trust a woman’s advice on how to please women. Her advice is designed for alpha men she already finds attractive and from whom she seeks signals of attainability and commitment.

Corollary to Maxim #57: A woman’s sex and relationship advice isn’t meant to help men; it’s meant to distract men from what really works to turn women on.

Maxim #59: The longer you are away from seducing new women, the harder it will be to seduce one when you want.

Maxim #59: High IQ is no inoculation against beta delusion. If anything, high IQ obstructs clear thinking about women’s nature.

Maxim #59: The most successful marriages are those with a balance of power that slightly favors the husband’s status over the wife’s looks.

Maxim #59: We tend to defer to looks as a judgment of a man’s sexual market value because that is what is most easily observable given situational and time constraints, but a man’s looks are only one male attractiveness trait among many that account for his desirability to women.

Corollary to Maxim #59: A woman’s sexual market value is more accurately judged solely by instant appraisal of her looks.

Maxim #61: Among love’s many benefits is its capacity for diminishing to insignificance those differences that would have prevented its flourishing in the first place.

Corollary to Maxim #61: Avoid emphasizing any values differences until love, or a mind-blowing orgasm, has taken root.

Maxim #66: The worst thing to happen to America was women’s suffrage.

Maxim #66: Half the battle of game is stripping a woman of her inborn self-entitlement complex.

Maxim #66: As men are becoming ever bigger pussies and betas in their dealings with women, they are losing the leverage to shape and push women’s child-like and selfishly amoral political opinions in logical, just and long-term oriented directions.

Maxim #67: A man who has stopped seducing new women is a man who is becoming less seductive to his main woman.

Maxim #67: When women are confronted by a man with low status behavior that is incongruent with his high status looks, they will never resolve the incongruity to the benefit of his status; women will always resolve the incongruity to the detriment of his looks.

Maxim #68: The definition of Inner Game: Hit on every woman who stimulates your crotch. Make life uncomfortable for them, not yourself.

Maxim #70: Any son not explicitly taught about the ways of women by an experienced father will become more beta under the influence of his mother.

Corollary to Maxim #70: A society of ascendant female academic, workforce, political and family influence necessarily emasculates its sons and masculinizes its daughters.

Maxim #71: When a girl signals that she doesn’t enjoy blowjobs or sex, do not spend one second more with her. Your libido is too important to gamble on such a girl.

Maxim #71: In their sexual primes women’s attraction for assholes is at its strongest. You can catch a lot of hungry flies with honey, but shit attracts the most well-fed flies.

Maxim #73: When a girl emphatically insists she is so over you, she’s never been more into you.

Maxim #75: If you get sexually rejected, don’t admit it to yourself, and especially don’t admit it to the girl.

Maxim #77: Women will screech louder the closer your words get to damaging or exposing vulnerabilities in their sexual market value.

Corollary to Maxim #77: Assuming your words aren’t too wide of the mark thus blunting the serrated edge of their slice, the worst insult you can call a woman is “hideously ugly old cougar cumfunneling whore”.

Maxim #77: The role of style in diverting attention from male ugliness is severely underplayed by most ugly men.

Maxim #80: The more cocks that have ravaged a woman, the less any one cock will mesmerize her.

Maxim #81: Whenever you hear or read the words “gender”, “gendered”, “gendered norm”, “subtle gender bias”, or “increasingly egalitarian, yet there remains…” know that you are dealing with a leftwing equalist, blank-slate believing fruitcake who cannot deal with the fact that men and women are biologically different from birth.

Maxim #83: Awareness of a woman’s games is a precision-guided weapon in a man’s arsenal of seduction. Slyly revealing your knowledge of a woman’s obstructive game tactics is like catnip to her pussy.

Maxim #84: Respect the momentum.

Maxim #85: As women’s bodies age and weaken, their rationalization hamsters grow bigger and stronger. Eventually, the hamster is powerful enough to take control of all higher order consciousness.

Maxim #87: The more expensive or thoughtful the gift you give a girl, the greater the risk that she will subconsciously begin to think she is too good for you.

Corollary to Maxim #87: If you are dating out of your league, or you are dating a young hot babe in her prime, you should do the exact opposite of what everyone will tell you to do — don’t buy her expensive gifts. Be particularly wary of advice from women. No woman in the world is capable of thinking clearly or impartially on the matter of “acceptable” levels of male provisioning. Even old, fat hausfrau hogs will expect mountains of jewels in offerings from men.

Maxim #93: The rare older woman-younger man pairing is like a lab experiment gone wrong. It violates the natural order of things, and leaves its practitioners emotionally twisted and in a constant mental race to hyperrationalize their subpar mate choice.

Maxim #97: Do not tempt a woman’s withdrawal with conversational topic overkill. You made a funny, now surprise her with something new.

Maxim #98: Marriage is no escape from the sexual market and the possibility that you may be outbid by a competitor with higher value. Corollary to Maxim #98: Singleness is no guarantee of full sexual market participation.

Maxim #99: Female coyness is a purity signaler as well as an ego-boosting mechanism designed to reaffirm a woman’s sexual market value at the expense of lowering the man’s sexual market value.

Corollary to Maxim #99: Female coyness serves a secondary benefit as an anti-game strategy to make a high value man seem more attainable to a lower value woman, or to offer low value women plausible deniability for failing to attract the interest of high value men.

Maxim #100: The urgency and strength of a woman’s desire for a man is directly proportional to the degree to which he is perceived higher in value than her.

Maxim #101: The sluttier the girl, the more noticeably pregnant she’ll need to be before she admits to having had sex that “counts”.

Corollary to Maxim #101: Even then…. “Oh, it’s the way the shirt fits.”

Maxim #101: For most women, five minutes of alpha is worth five years of beta.

Maxim #102: The hottest babes will not be found in prosperous countries, but in countries on the verge of prosperity. The world’s ugliest women will continue to be found in backward primitive societies.

Maxim #102: For most men, five minutes of a younger, hotter woman beats five years of older, uglier women.

Corollary to Maxim #102: A beautiful, slender older woman will be a better lay than a plain, fatter younger woman.

Maxim #105: Where there’s incentive, there are lies.

Maxim #105: Pregnant pauses are the player’s best friend.

Maxim #109: Consensual polyamory is a contrived hookup service for undesirable sexual market rejects.

Maxim #112: Never underestimate the sneaky lengths to which a woman’s female friends will attempt to undermine her relationship with a boyfriend or husband they don’t approve of.

Maxim #198: Use of the word “disenfranchised” or other similar nomenclature of deconstructivist post-modern pablum automatically discredits an argument for serious consideration.

Maxim #200: Men acquire lovers; women share lovers.

Maxim #200: Chicks dig guys willing to risk an early, gruesome death. Expendability is a DHV.

Maxim #204: Modern marriage is a waiver of liability that relieves wives of the responsibility to remain attractive to their husbands.

Corollary to Maxim #204: The modern marriage waiver of liability does not extend to husbands, who must remain optimally attractive to their wives so long as the marriage is intact and the cost of failing in this responsibility is excessive.

Maxim #210: If you are using a romantic holiday as a pretext to raise awareness instead of raise erections, you are probably a fat loser.

Maxim #211: A good working assumption is that any married alpha male with options in the sexual market, no matter how religious or declarative of his love for his wife he is, is fucking a mistress.

Maxim #214: Most men can get cuter girls than they think. False psychological projection of their own sexual attraction mechanism onto women blinds them to this reality.

Maxim #328: Underneath the veneer of civilized discourse we act in ways that are brazenly self-interested in the short term.

Addendum #328a: Seeking short term status is a matter of self-interest.

Maxim #463: Do not underestimate the rapidity with which a woman will jettison her conventional mate criteria when exposed to the attentions of a charismatic man.

Maxim #666: All kneel before the god of biomechanics, by sword or by surrender.

Maxim #666: When a woman has incentive to lie, she will choose lying over honesty EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Corollary to Maxim #666: Treat woman like Soviet Russia — Trust but verify.

Maxim #856: Swear by the HipandCooter oath: First, use no logic.

Maxim #1,000: Prosperity contains within it the seed of its own destruction.

Maxim #1776: The farther along a nation is in its decline, the faster and more frequently the nation's citizens spin their collective rationalization hamsters.

Maxim #2008: Socialists gain when single women who refuse to settle vote. They lose when single women forget to vote on their way to the mall.

Maxim #something or other: Never listen to what a women says she prefers in men; instead, watch what she does.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Chateau Heartiste, who was first published in 2007 as a Wordpress blog, has been one of the most influential bloggers of the 21th century. The main author is also known as Roissy and he lived in Washington, D. C.

Heartiste is the intellectual linchpin of the space known as the Manosphere, and this site was the bedrock of what people now consider common knowledge about dating and the human nature.

Many of its blog posts from 2007 to 2012 have impacted the lives of thousands of men more than anyone else, and it is these initial years that have been distilled in this book.