From the original article on June 21, 2013. Author: Chateau Heartiste.
A reader soulfully inquires,
Can you share some of your dark wisdom which has no bounds on advice for greater betas, lesser alphas, and alphas? Not every one of your readers is a spectating beta male!
That’s true. The male demographics of this blog’s readership mirrors the male demographics found in the general population.
there are a lot of questions which are not safe to ask the people around me, but I need help on nonetheless as I can never handle these situations well. I’m a young guy but feel very isolated from the people around me. So here are 4 questions which I haven’t been able to find addressed in the archives but are the major problems I deal with in my own life.
1) what do you do when a possessive girl looks through your phone and catches you cheating?
2) what do you do about jealousy? from both males and females, I’ve had my reputation marred on several instances because of my philandering.
3) what about when you are in an area with no desirable females? myself many of my other friends who are “successful” find ourselves in situations where all the girls around us are entitled and below the SMV of what we’re used to. It’s hard to motivate yourself to approach when you are used to a sexual diet of 8s and all of the women around you are entitled 5-7s.....
4) more importantly, what about the isolation that this lifestyle brings? in times when I’ve built a rotation of girls for myself I’ve felt more alone than ever before. I can’t turn to my “greater-alpha” friends on this one because realistically they have this problem even worse than I do and don’t seem to care as much.
1. You should have a lock on your phone. But too late for that. So I assume she found incriminating texts that prevent you claiming the other women are only friends? If you haven’t already agreed to exclusivity, the best approach is to embrace your philandering. Tell her you two aren’t married, and as such you will date around until such time that you have received sufficient signals of commitment from her, or from someone else. If she finds that unacceptable, the door is right over there. But be prepared to call her bluff. If the thought of her leaving is unacceptable to you, then perhaps you should consider the mewling beta route of gross apologia and promises of future fidelity. If you’ve built up a large store of alpha cred, a tactical spell of weakness won’t do you in.
However, let me tell you this, something I learned the hard way being cornered by suspicious lovers... whatever strategy you pursue — bald-faced lies or breathtaking truthfulness — don’t half-ass it. Own it. Own it with everything you’ve got. And by this, I mean make no excuses for your stance, and redirect any accusations back at your accuser. (Hey, it works for politicians and Presidents.)
Examples of the right way:
Bald-faced lie
Her: Who is this girl you’re flirting with on your phone?
You: She’s a friend. GIrls like to flirt, that’s what they do. I didn’t know you were the creepy stalker type. It’s not a good look on you.
Breathtaking truthfulness
Her: Who is this girl you’re flirting with on your phone?
You: A former lover. I love being with her, and I love being with you. If the nature of our relationship changes, I will reconsider keeping contact with her.
***
Example of the wrong way (excerpted from a real life CH conversation, before Total Illumination acquired):
Brunette needler: Why didn’t you come to my show? Everyone was there.
Me: Um... well, I decided to go somewhere else.
Brunette needler: Where somewhere? We talked about this earlier. You said you were coming.
Me: Something came up.
Brunetter needler: A girl? That ex you mentioned?
Me: [looking at floor] No.. yeah... it’s not like that.
Brunette needler: Right. Ok. I can see where this is going.
Our fling ended shortly after that point, and she went on to become a lawyer.
2. Female jealousy is a gift of the gods. Call it... hamsta from heaven. You see, jealous females rarely drive off their boyfriends, who are more often than not delightfully amused and flattered by the spectacle. But jealous boyfriends almost always eventually drive away their girlfriends given enough episodes of status-lowering possessive freakouts. Therefore, do nothing. Your philandering will heighten your attractiveness to other women (preselection, yo) and your secret admiration from other men. Try not to advertise it, though. The positive PR from your pleasure underworld is best vaguely apprehended buzzing over gossipy grapevines rather than lucidly observed bashing into exposed egos.
3. If you’re in an area with no desirable women, leave. Or foist them on your white knight buddies.
4. If you’re a well-balanced, psychologically healthy womanizer, you won’t feel isolated. This is because the great feelings that modern day Casanovas inspire in women naturally bleed into other areas of life. The best seducers I’ve known were never without male friends nor acquaintances all too happy to share in their good times and reflected success. It comes with the poon-plundering territory.
The problem of isolation arises because, in truth, many obligate womanizers are psychologically unsound. The men who are most successful with women are also the most sociopathic. Chicks may dig dark triad men, but other men don’t dig them so much. This encourages social isolation from same-sex peers, which is compounded when the womanizer is young, and just beginning his journey to endarkenment. The isolation grows in proportion to the number of friends who have gotten married off, because wives pretty much make it their mission in life to sever their husbands’ ties to any remaining single male friends who are still having a blast slashing and burning through dense forests of bush.
If multiple long- or short-term relationships are making you feel isolated, then the solution is simple: Cut back, and put more energy into friendships. Bring the same girl to parties and events, and let your friends get to know her. There’s nothing wrong with being an expert womanizer who prefers sipping from the comfort chalice of a monogamous relationship with one woman. If this doesn’t appeal to you, then you can’t say the isolation bothers you as much as the loss of pussy varietal packs bothers you. Don’t bitch for the sake of bitching if you don’t really mean it.
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