Gay Bars are Great Pick Up Joints

Listed under Heartiste: 2007.Theme

From the original article on June 18, 2007. Author: Chateau Heartiste.

...for straight men. It’s not usually what guys think of when they’re choosing happy hunting grounds, but the gay bar has many advantages going for it that the typical hetero bar does not. The key is to limit your forays to the dainty side to informally gay bars. These are the establishments that don’t attempt to skirt anti-discrimination laws with “no high heels” door policies intended to keep women out. Gay guys go to these bars in numbers exceeding random distribution, but the overall vibe is ambiguous. Along with the gays, you will find many women and a few straight men, as well as question marks. If you are a young, reasonably good-looking straight man you will not feel uncomfortable walking into this kind of place.

Formally gay bars, while not designated as such in the strict legal sense, are widely known to be hangouts specifically catering to gay men. Straight men and lesbians never step foot in these places. Straight women will occasionally patronize the hardcore gay bar, but the practice is frowned upon by the regulars. If you are a young, reasonably good-looking straight man and you walk into one of these bars you will feel like a rape victim waiting to happen. All eyes will be on your crotch. You will feel urges to slouch and conceal your pecs with crossed arms and to avoid eye contact with anyone.

Most straight men live in deathly fear of their masculinity being questioned and so will never think to seek out a pick up location that features more than a tiny coterie of token gays. But these are exactly the venues that afford the best opportunities for picking up women. Let’s examine the evidence:

• Straight women number almost as many as would be found in a straight bar, especially at the beginning of the night when they are getting warmed up.
• Considerably fewer straight men (the competition) than would be found in a straight bar.
• The flirtations of the gay men are kept in check by the ambiguous ambience; they can never be sure who is gay and who isn’t.
• Gays bring enthusiastic fun fun fun wherever they go. Their infectious fun germ lifts the spirits of all the women, making your job of amping up their emotional state a lot easier. It’s a piece of cake to open a woman who is all smiles and giggles rather than one with a dour look and her back turned to the entire room.
• You can fly under the radar. She’ll assume you are gay on your approach. Defensive shields down, thermal exhaust port in sight.
• Gay guys provide lots of situational opener material with their antics and overwrought drama. Example: I think that guy just flashed his boob at me. I feel like a piece of meat. I can tell you’re really enjoying having the tables turned on us guys.
• All the gayness will magnify in comparison the dangerous sexiness of your straight male presence. The harmless and safe fun of the gays will make her vulnerable to your predatory aura.
• The gay guys will social proof you, in a way. While it’s not as good as being seen with an attractive woman, a gay man telling everyone in earshot what a juicy hunk of beefcake you are is bound to elicit some feelings of intrigue in the girls you’d like to impress.

The most important thing to keep in mind is that the male-female ratio in your venue of choice will determine your success at hooking up more than any other factor besides the skill level of your game. How many times have you noticed in bars where the men heavily outnumbered the women the 5s and 6s behaving with the haughtiness of 9s and 10s? Artificially inflated demand is never a good quality in women. But gay guys throw all that out of whack. When half the men aren’t remotely sexually interested in the women their market price takes a nosedive. If you are really good, you can enlist a gay guy who has a crush on you to wing for you. Just keep him guessing that one day you might convert.

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