From the original article on June 24, 2011. Author: Chateau Heartiste.
This email, assuming it’s not fake, has been making the rounds (via Instapundit):
I have been seeing a guy for seven months now. He is a nice guy — probably the nicest guy I ever dated — very caring, respectful and treats me like a lady (brings me flowers unexpectedly, watches horror movies even though he doesn’t like them). Before him, I dated guys who were unavailable or just with me for all the wrong reasons. I started dating him four months [after] a break-up with a guy I was madly in love with and I still think of him.
My problem is that I am not sexually attracted to this nicest guy in the world and I feel super guilty about it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me; I feel like a horrible and shallow person by saying this but I am not attracted to his body type. We haven’t had sex, and we rarely kiss when he tries to make out with me (I usually have to force myself when we do). He has asked me on several occasions if I am not attracted to him and I have always lied and said that I am and that I am not ready to have sex, but the truth is I am not ready to have sex with him.
Recently he has introduced me to his family and has even mentioned the “love” and “marriage” words, and now I am confused and afraid that I am far to into it to just tell him that I am not into him. I don’t want to hurt his feelings as I believe in Karma and think that it will come back to bite me. I want to be sexually attracted to him because I think he will be a good provider and is definitely marriage material but I don’t know how to get myself there. I have read self-help books to try and seek the answer to this question but with no help. I can’t have a conversation with my girlfriends because I am afraid they will judge me. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to end up alone or realize that he was the best thing in my life after he is gone. Please help. — Not Sexually Attracted
First, let’s get something straight. You haven’t been “seeing” a guy for seven months if you haven’t banged. At best, you’ve been hanging out with him and using him for seven months to meet your nonsexual needs. Like you might do with a friend. Or a puppy. Chicks these days need to stop redefining words that strip them of their implied meanings. That road leads to believing anal sex isn’t really sex. Or purple saguaros are actually back massagers.
Second, any man who tells a girl he loves her and wants to marry her AFTER SEVEN SEXLESS MONTHS is a leading candidate for beta of the year. Such a man wouldn’t know the first thing about how women work, and it’s no surprise that any girl stuck with a clingy loser like that would take advantage of him. We humans are programmed to prey on the weak, and this chick is no exception.
Third, never propose to a girl who writes “super guilty”.
Fourth, as a man with a pulse, you should be able to tell when a woman isn’t into kissing you. If she’s pulling backwards constantly, or making scrunchy faces like she just drank sour milk, you need to find that last ounce of dignity and walk away.
I don’t think there’s any news here that chicks love unavailable assholes and feel nothing in the vageen for genuinely nice guys. We’ve trod this territory plenty of times. Its truth is self-evident to anyone with the eyes to see. The more interesting angle, (again, assuming this email is legit), is the inside look at how easily, and without any apparent remorse, a girl will string along a beta schlub to extract emotional and material benefits from him.
Whenever the traditionalists and fembots pipe up about the innate purity of women’s sexual desire as opposed to men’s creepy and animalistic desire, it’s a good idea to helpfully remind them that the crass manipulation of a lovestruck suitor is an equal opportunity moral failing. I’d go so far as to say that using the opposite sex for favors while offering nothing in return that they want is largely the province of women who, after all, far outnumber the small wedge of alpha males who are able to successfully use women for sexual gratification. On the numbers alone, there have to be a lot more situations where a girl strings along a parade of sycophantic betas in a sexless purgatory than where a high status man strings a harem along in noncommittal sexual pleasure.
My advice to the girl who wrote the email:
Keep using your #1 herb. But don’t push it too far, or he might crack. Don’t be surprised if one day he has a Rainman freakout, his eyes wild with rage and spittle flying everywhere, the vein bulging in his neck, yelling at you for some trivial infraction that finally puts him over the edge.
My advice to the beta protagonist:
Grow a pair. Quit her.
My advice if this email was fake:
Thanks for the springboard.
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