From the original article on September 14, 2007. Author: Chateau Heartiste.
It’s been a while since the last scientifically sound assessment.
I like analyzing groups because the interplay between everyone helps me decide which girl would be open for a same night lay and which one would be worth toughing out a few dates with before sexing.
The far left girl is clearly a fling. Everything about her says “pain in the ass who bangs like a guy”. The holes in the jeans, large hoop ho-rings, and bright red nail polish are enough to tip me off. Throw in her solo shot drinking and it’s case closed. Maverick drinking is a red flag for sluttiness.
The girl with the flower shirt standing next to her has girlfriend potential despite her tantalizingly exposed belly. She has both her hands on her boozehound friend which means she is loyal and dependable.
The girl in the middle squeezing her way into the picture would make an excellent girlfriend (assuming she met your minimum looks threshold). She is the girl who has always been in the background of life, ceding all the attention to her wilder friends. She yearns for a brief moment in the spotlight, even the tiny spotlight of a club photographer’s flash. These are the signs of a love-starved girl. Expect her to enthusiastically answer your calls on the first ring and to save all your text messages.
The black dress girl in the foreground is a golddigger who will not give it up until the 15th date as evidenced by her severe hairstyle, and then only after you’ve blown ten girls’ worth of dating money on her. She craves meeting a man who will bring the fling out of her. She is leaning backwards in a block maneuver because she secretly can’t stand her needy friend behind her. Or they’re a couple.
Blue shirt girl is a dirty little fling. Don’t let her easy smile and girl scout bangs fool you. She is leaning to the side so the camera doesn’t miss the full glory of her (fake) cleavage. She is also the only girl in the picture in physical contact with a male body. She’s that comfortable with her sexuality.
If you swing that way, funboy on the right would make an excellent girlfriend. He is dressed too conservatively for anything but tender moments holding uncalloused hands by the reflecting pool.
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