From the original article on April 10, 2009. Author: Chateau Heartiste.
In the last “Great Scenes” post I showcased the game run by Paul Newman’s character in the movie Hud. This time, it’s another classic move, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, where super alpha Pee Wee seduces the shit out of Dottie.
Link: video
My comments below are in bold. How do you handle it when a girl you like flirts with you? Pee Wee shows you how.
***
Kid: Is Dottie still working on your bike?
PEE WEE: No, I’ve got it back a couple days already.
Kid: What’s she doing to it?
PEE WEE: I can’t talk about it. James Bond kind of stuff.
[first rule of pickup: always be in character.]
Kid: Dottie’s radical with bikes.
DOTTIE: Hi, Pee Wee.
Kid 1: I say we cruise, dudes. It’s getting hot in here.
Kid 2: It’s steamy.
Kid 3: I’m sweating.
PEE WEE: Is my horn ready yet?
[pee wee doesn’t say “hi” back. it’s very alpha to skip pleasantries and get right to business.]
DOTTIE: It’s ready. It should be loud enough for you now.
PEE WEE: Where is it? Let’s hear it.
[demanding and brusque. alpha]
DOTTIE: Wait. I want to talk to you first.
PEE WEE: You are talking to me.
[there is a little overlap in temperament and attitude between alphas and betas, but there are also some things alphas do which betas almost *never* do. and one of those things is being a smartass. betas are hardly ever smartasses, especially with girls.]
DOTTIE: No, I want your undivided attention.
PEE WEE: *makes a face*
[nice face. teasing girls is very effective. and the best teasing is nonverbal, communicated through exaggerated facial expressions or body movements]
DOTTIE: Look Pee Wee this is important. I want to ask you something. I want to know, if you will do something?
PEE WEE: What?
[if you like a girl, and she comes on to you, a great way to respond is to act suspicious of her motives. so let’s say you’re in a bar and a girl you’ve been gaming reaches over to touch your chest. don’t jump at the first opportunity to make out. instead, say “heeey... what are you up to?” while giving her the stink eye.]
DOTTIE: I want to know if you’ll go someplace with me.
PEE WEE: Like where?
DOTTIE: The drive-in.
PEE WEE: Look, Dottie, I like you. Like! I like you.
[pee wee may be serious here and not actually like dottie, but if you do like the girl, playing a game of reverse LJBF can be a good way to heighten sexual tension. “oh i don’t know, carrie, i like you, but i’d hate to do anything that might... jeopardize... that. it’s very chancey.” be sure to telegraph your unseriousness with heavy sighs and head shaking.]
DOTTIE: I like you, too.
PEE WEE: There are a lot of things about me you don’t know anything about. Things you wouldn’t understand, you couldn’t understand. Things you shouldn’t understand.
[dramatic vocal tonality is so underused by men. all most guys know how to do is shout and bellow, like drunk fratboys. try experimenting with different voice pitches and pauses and tempos. it will add a theatrical flair to your conversation that is irresistible to women.]
DOTTIE: I don’t understand.
PEE WEE: You don’t want to get mixed up with me. I’m a Ioner, Dottie. A rebel. So long, Dot.
[The Golden Pickup Rule: Unless you can get a same night lay, always leave first. Always be the one to cut the conversation off. Always end the date first. Always be the one waving goodbye first. Chicks LOVE when a man walks away from them to journey... somewhere else, where only men with plenty of options journey. If you’re having trouble settling on a self-identity, you can’t go wrong with brooding rebel. This archetype is universally attractive to women. There’s probably a very good evo psych reason for it. So in a pinch, just tell chicks you’ve “got to be moving on. Don’t know where I’m heading, but I’m doing it alone.” Insta-pussy lube!]
Note: On a scale of 1 to 5, this post was 1 tongue in cheek.
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