App Store of the Future

Apps that will exist in augmented reality world: if you want a vision of the future, imagine a smartphone strapped to a human face forever.

Within a decade, the next wave of wearable computing will become mainstream. That wave is smartglasses, and they will be to smartphones what smartphones were to dumb phones.

Anything in your pockets that’s not a smartphone will be replaced by the smartphone.
-Naval Ravikant

What most fail to realize about the coming smartglass revolution is that the killer app has already been invented, and it only awaits the proper hardware configuration to take advantage of it. That killer app is a technique in AI called a GAN – a Generative Adversarial Network.

GANs running on our smartglasses will make it possible to redraw any aspect of our visual sensory input, creating a kind of universal bespoke digital hallucination

We have already seen how video filters are able to re-shape women’s faces in realtime. This example is probably not even using AI, and this is not even the beginning. I promise you, given the option, most women will manipulate their appearance in AR.

The demand for GAN-equipped smartglasses will be extremely high when social media evolves to take advantage of the platform, enabling people to fine-tune their digital appearance to other smartglass wearers. The whole world will be instagram-filtered and shopped.

Women in particular will flock to these apps because they will be able to make themselves look younger, tighter, and twenty pounds lighter (How Is Catfishing Real Ninja Just Take Off Your Smart Glasses What The Fuck)

I was lucky enough to spend ten minutes browsing the app store of the glorious adversarial network augmented reality technofuture, and I have come back with tales of wonder and horror.

MaleGaze: eyetracking analytics measures how much time you spend looking at women’s asses, tits etc vs how much time you spend looking at their face, cross-checked against biometrics like heart rate to measure arousal. Emits a [0,1] metric of how much you objectify women.

Diogenes: Speech recognition combined with GPT-2 style neural network tries to predict the things that your friends and interaction partners will say before they say it, ranks interactions in terms of predictability. Doubles as an accessibility app, gives subtitles to the world.

SafeSpace: Like adblock but for racists, sexists, homophobes, transphobes, fascists &c. Connects to a national registry maintained by the SPLC and renders all known bigots as gray silhouettes, and mutes all of their speech by playing white noise whenever they talk

Jaynes – Renders a ghost of Jesus, Buddha, Obama, or Weihan to follow you around and give you commands to act morally in various situations.

Scoutr – Reverse image searches every face that comes into your field of view, identifies them, and calculates their clout by aggregating their reach and followers across social media sites. inb4 Vegeta/9000/etc

ThotPatrol: Reverse image searches every face that comes into your field of view, identifies them, and figures out if their nudes are on the internet

Superman: Social media network that renders your silhouette for other in-network participants even when you are obscured by walls, buildings, etc. Breaks rules about occlusion and perspective to give you a kind of X-ray vision

Outlier: Aggregates the always-on video feed from your smartglasses to compute normativity map for various locations. Scores your feed against what is statistically likely given your GPS location, computes your outlier score. Exposes leaderboards for the most novel views

Prosopag: Scrambles everyone’s face so that no one ever looks familiar.

SpankBank: Builds 3d image maps of your conversation partners as you are speaking to them and uploads them to the cloud so that they can be used to construct deepfakes

OST: social theme music sharing allows everyone to define a theme song so that when they enter a room, their theme music plays.

Nightmode: Uses GANs to make it always night time

[Various]: A seemingly endless series of novelty filter apps that make the world look like anime, or make everyone look like Trump, or make everyone look like a hot woman, etc, similar to snapchat’s girl filter. Standouts in this category include Wakanda: makes everyone black