From the original article on April 10, 2007. Author: Chateau Heartiste.
If you are the sort of vengeful prick who’d put real effort into bedding an ex just to turn the tables on her with a grandiose post-coitus exit, then you’ll need a proven method for achieving your goal. One of the hardest feats to accomplish is re-igniting an ex-girlfriend’s attraction for you, especially if she initiated the breakup. Unlike guys, who are perfectly OK with return trips to the well no matter how dry, women have a no-looking-back switch that, when flipped, desexualizes the man she had spent months or years enslaving with her body. In her eyes, he is reduced to possessing the animal magnetism of a toll booth operator or a paperboy. Once she has crossed this rubicon of fatal unattraction, his chances of re-bedding her dwindle to zilch. You may think that the wild uninhibited sex bonded you two securely for the ages, but you can forget it – girls are creatures of the moment and if she dumped you you can bet she dumped all those memorable sex scenes, too. She’s saving her inner dirty whore for a new man now.
Given this reality, your best bet for turning her around is to put your plan into action *before* she formally becomes your ex. You have a short window of opportunity to do this. The longer you have been with her the more warning she will give you with her change in behavior. She won’t end a 2 year relationship overnight; you’ll have at least a month to clue in to the red flags. Your number one priority, then, is recognizing the danger signals. Infrequent or bland sex is of course an obvious indicator. Look for delays in returning your calls and texts. See if her eyes follow suit when she smiles (dead eyes are a dead giveaway). Tone of voice will always betray a woman – musical when she’s happy, girlish when she’s affectionate, breathy when she’s horny, monotone when she’s lost respect for you. Watch for contemptuous mannerisms like eye-rolling or tch-ing. If she starts asking you strange questions or leading conversations down bizarre paths, that is her way of smoking you out. She no longer trusts you to engage in normal playful conversation with you. Go with your gut. 90% of the time it will be right.
Awareness of changes in her demeanor wins you half the battle. You must also maintain complete state control. If you give in to the rush of emotions that your traitorous brain floods you with when faced with an impending loss you will fail. What is required of you is to CUT AND RUN before her doubts about you cement. You must be the one to leave first. Minimize face time. Don’t call her. Be friendly but ambiguous. Don’t inquire into her life. Laugh off her crappy attitude. Most importantly, act as if nothing is wrong. If she senses you are acting aloof out of spite the spell will be broken. Eventually, she will wander back to you, bewildered and intrigued, filled with doubt about her hasty judgment. You will resume a pattern of dating and sex that eerily resembles the first few weeks together. NEVER give the game away that you knew she was losing attraction if you want to avoid rekindling her impression of you as a weak beta.
What I have described above is the ideal ex-GF strategy. Like most ideals, hardly anyone lives up to them. And with good reason – maintaining composure in the midst of a dying relationship you don’t want to end demands superhuman grace under pressure. Only the strongest alphas with a solid stable of regulars can cavalierly brush off the prospect of one of his girls attempting to dump him. He knows she won’t muster the willpower to leave, but if she does it won’t matter anyway.
The less experienced man caught offguard will need to learn the art of turning it around after her decision to leave is made but before she has reached the no-looking-back stage. Chances of re-notch success are much lower once she has verbalized her need for space, but with proper post-relationship game you can improve your odds dramatically. The key is in the timing. A mathematician has shown that the dumper’s loneliness and nostalgia for the broken relationship peak at about 3 weeks after the breakup, unless she has found another man in the interim. Therefore, your job is to let her go and not speak to her for 3 weeks. This will amplify her feelings of loss. Then, at her most vulnerable 3 weeks later, call to say hi. Keep the convo short and friendly. Chances are best right at this moment that she will offer to meet you for drinks.
You’ll notice the common denominator with these strategies. They only work if you do the OPPOSITE of what the typical guy would do. Very few men getting dumped would have the presence of mind to lay low and refrain from trying to talk her out of her decision. But that is exactly the winning formula. Your breezy indifference will win back more exes than all the post-breakup talks in the world. Lean back, reap your bounty, and if you’ve got the balls calmly tell her after the post-breakup violation of all her holes “Eh, you know, I shouldn’t have taken you back. This isn’t going to work.”
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