From the original article on March 4, 2011. Author: Chateau Heartiste.
When are women most like beta males? When they’re in love.
No, I’m not talking about the “he’s got acceptable college credentials and a good job and car” kind of ledger book love. I’m talking about the “he smells so great and I love the way he buttons his shirt from the bottom up and I can’t wait to jump into his arms at the end of the day” kind of love. The two kinds of love are very different, and often mutually exclusive.
When a woman falls into the second kind of love she begins to behave around her man much like a beta male does around women he is attracted to. The change is such a radical metamorphosis that it leads one to believe that love rewires a woman’s brain in a direction that makes her singularly vulnerable to the vicissitudes of romance. It’s no wonder then that women are very careful about doling out the innermost sanctum of their hearts to just any man. Even sluts, who let it be known aren’t exactly inclined to impart their pussies with much significance, are surprisingly circumspect about how quickly and easily they allow themselves to fall in love.
Here is a partial list of the similarities between the woman in love and the beta male:
Woman In Love (WIL) – goes out of her way to please her lover
Beta Male (BM) – goes out of his way to please his LJBF
WIL – small deviations from the relationship norm send her into a tizzy of self-doubt
BM – every little thing she says sends him into a tizzy of overanalysis
WIL – tears flow effortlessly from the slightest infraction
BM – self-hate flows effortlessly from the slightest infraction
WIL – quick to blame herself for relationship problems
BM – quick to blame women for dating problems
WIL – eager for constant stream of validation from her lover
BM – eager for constant stream of indicators of interest from women
WIL – asks “do you love me as much as I love you?”
BM – asks “do you like me?” (Or behaves in a way that subcommunicates asking this kind of question.)
WIL – pushes for validation by stating “sometimes I feel like you’re not all there with me.”
BM – pushes for validation by asking “are we dating?”
WIL – seeks to calm her self-doubt with continual positive appraisals of the relationship status
BM – seeks to calm his self-doubt with continual positive signs of emotional intimacy
WIL – calls at awkward times because she has sixth sense for when her man might be flirting with another woman
BM – calls at awkward times because he has no sense for when a woman doesn’t like him
WIL – gets really nervous if her lover calls her from a bar
BM – gets really nervous if his object of affection doesn’t return his calls
WIL – “Why is he working late? I’ll call him.”
BM – “Why hasn’t she replied to my text yet? I’ll send another.”
WIL – suffers from oneitis
BM – suffers from oneitis
WIL – quick to ignore her lover’s faults
BM – quick to ignore his date’s faults
WIL – feels like she’s walking on eggshells
BM – ditto
WIL – works harder and harder to please her lover the more the relationship fades
BM – works harder and harder to suck up to a date the more indifference she shows
WIL – will forgive him anything, even, sometimes, cheating
BM – will forgive her anything, even, sometimes, sexless manipulation
WIL – can’t wait to introduce him to everyone she knows
BM – can’t wait to be seen around town with her
WIL – super sensitive to the mildest criticism
BM – doubleplusditto
WIL – fawning
BM – cloying
WIL – sexually submissive
BM – emotionally submissive
WIL – masturbates quite frequently when lover is away
BM – masturbates quite frequently
WIL – needs reassurance that he loves her and will make a future with her
BM – needs reassurance that she sees him “in that way”
WIL – can cuddle for hours with her lover
BM – can cuddle for hours given half the chance
WIL – her lover is a jerk, but she thinks he’s a paragon of masculine virtue
BM – his date is a cocktease, but he thinks she’s a paragon of feminine virtue
WIL – frets over the minutest details of every word he says, every text or voicemail he sends, and every wink he throws
BM – was born fretting
WIL – will ignore or rationalize red flags
BM – will completely miss red flags
WIL – will audibly sigh with pleasure when thinking about her lover
BM – will audibly moan with discomfort when thinking about his performance on the last date
WIL – will cherish every hackneyed romantic word her lover whispers in her ear
BM – will cherish a date-ending peck on the cheek
WIL – will constantly qualify herself to her lover
BM – will constantly qualify himself to his date
WIL – will stop shit testing, or, even better, will begin to shit test *herself*
BM – will fail every shit test
WIL – will worry about every blemish, every single pound of weight gain, and every bad haircut because it might turn off her lover
BM – will worry about every word out of his mouth because it might turn off his date
WIL – will suffer greatly if her lover leaves her
BM – will suffer greatly if his date LJBFs him
What this list juxtaposes is the illuminative comparison between women in love and beta males. It is not a list of beta female traits. That is a different thing entirely. Beta females are defined mostly by their plain looks and their inability to convince high value men to commit to them.
What is interesting here is that the woman in love who behaves like a beta male might still be an alpha female on the dating market. This would be true if, for instance, she was a hot broad. Women who lapse into total servility and betatude with their lovers don’t usually carry that over into their dealings with other men. The woman in love might be a beta to her lover, but she’s still a stone cold bitch to you.
Correction: Women in love tend to be nicer in general to all men, because their need for love has been met. Her prime directive fulfilled, she can now ease up on the bitch shields and shit tests with men she has no intention of dating.
A woman in love, in short, suffers from a form of Stockholm Syndrome. She is held captive by her lover, and wouldn’t have it any other way.
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