Rapport And Comfort Are Fine, But You Need More Than That To Attract Girls


From the original article on June 23, 2015. Author: Chateau Heartiste.

The previous discussion about ego validation run rampant among Western women and how that changed reality affects the art of seduction generated some fantastically useful comments. Of particular note were the commenters who pointed out that a lot of novices get tripped up stressing the rapport and comfort aspects of pickup to the detriment of the edgier, jerkier realm of game. (And no surprise, either, as most beta males are terrorized by the thought of “acting up”.)

As usual, YaReally, replying to another commenter, provided insight coupled with foundational game principles to help clear up confusion.

““how tall are you?” they usually reply below 5’5″—to which I reply: “I can pick you up like a kitten” which always gets them curious about that imagery.”

This is good. But if you wanted to supercharge it, throw in disqualifiers to add that emotional rollercoaster ride:

“How tall are you?”
“5’5″
“So short. Are you a hobbit?”
“Lol how tall are you??”
“Way too tall for you.”
“Tell me”
“You’re going to need heels.”
“Lol I hate wearing heels”
“Short AND a bad dresser. If you turn out to be bad in bed on top of all that I’m deleting you.”
“Omg lolololz”

Basically while what you’re saying is GOOD, and better than what 90% of normal dudes would say because it IS playful and sexual...it could be charged with more rollercoaster/qualifying for more impact/attraction.

It’s not that you NEED it to get the lay...but it’s fun to play with and gives her an experience that she doesn’t normally get with guys.

A great benefit of game is its rarity of use. There’s nothing quite like standing out from the crowd of mediocrities to electrify women’s curiosity.

It’s very rare for her to have to chase or invest or defend herself or impress a guy. Most guys are dying to give the milk away for free as soon as possible.

Beta Male: “You’re really cute. I’d love to take you out and show you a good time. Oh, and I’ll never look at another girl again if you choo choo choose me.”

Alpha Male: “If you can talk about more than Scandal, you have a shot with me.”

Just something to play with. I use a ton of this shit in my game and it’s part of why I get an emotional impact that dwarfs looks.

Like a lot of the guys who cry that girls just care about looks are running fucking boring game (not even talking about normal chodes I’m talking even experienced dudes studying red pill Manosphere PUA game) that’s primarily based in seeking rapport and comfort ASAP and they don’t do push pull and emotional rollercoaster shit so they’re kind of interesting to the girl but they aren’t CAPTIVATING getting inside her fuckin brain and taking over her RAS. So ya she picks the good looking guy over them, but she’ll pass him up if you make a strong enough emotional impact on her. Pimps and wifebeaters aren’t all 6’4″ 6-packed rich jocks. Most of them are pieces of shit but they have more emotional impact on the girl and she’s more invested in them and keep coming back for another hit of emotions.

Emotional impact trumps looks. Or, to put it in CH-ian terms, male power and charm trump male looks. I suspect a lot of the “only looks matter to girls” crowd are the types of pickup slackers who, as Ya wrote, shy from cultivating that jerkboy essence in favor of leveling bedroom eyes at chicks and hoping that one of them is horny enough for that to be sufficient.

This is where the armchair warrior says “but yareally that’s just the low self esteem girls who are probably all heroin addicts that wouldn’t work on a high quality girl!!!” and demonstrates that they don’t go out.

All girls love emotional roller coaster rides, but in my experience I’ve found that the “nice girls” — the ones with low N counts and stable psychology — love the emotional push and pull the most. Why? Because they get to enjoy it the least often, surrounded as they are by niceguy betas who target nicegirls under the mistaken belief that those are the girls likeliest to swoon for their Ol’ Dependable beta male routine.

More Ya:

– self-amusement (you’re not bothering to let her defend herself you’re just moving on on your terms instead of letting her lead the direction of the conversation. A lower value guy lets her lead the convo cuz he wants her to have fun and talk about eat she wants to. A high value guy will do that with someone who’s EARNED it but some bar chick hasn’t earned shit just cause she threw on heels and a push-up bra which is crazy because every other guy lets her lead)

– neg theory (standard shit, it’s not that it necessarily knocks her off her pedestal (negative mindset that assumes you’re starting out lower value than her) it’s demonstrating that she doesn’t impress you by default which implies you’ve had girls at least as hot or hotter than her before because you aren’t dying of thirst like other guys she interacts with and the 10 guys messaging her on tinder and the 100 dudes Liking her selfie etc)

– abundance (how come you’re fucking around aren’t you scared of losing her why aren’t you trying to impress her like these other guys??)

– push/pull and cat string theory (dangling winning your interest just out of reach, letting her pass then failing her etc etc)

– that “he has the wrong impression of me I have to correct” him itch she needs to scratch but you stack it repeatedly so that she has 10 itches (lol) and eventually has to grab you. Imagine how it feels when someone mis-states your view on a subject or quotes you wrong in a way that makes you look bad or mid-represents your views. Instinctively you NEED to correct them. You’ll even do it politely and let then finish and then say “for the record what I ACTUALLY meant was–“. Now imagine before you can get that sentence out they’re already misrepresenting something ELSE about you. And again and again and again. Eventually you grab them and go NO SHUT UP FOR A SECOND LISTEN!!!!! and try to correct it all. It doesn’t matter who that person is and you kind of hate them a little...but you’re emotionally reacting to them. In that moment no one else exists they take over your full attention until it’s resolved.

– then when that above dynamic plays out and they’re fully qualifying themselves to you, you just interrupt and do like Julien where he’s like “you don’t have to try so hard to impress me, it’s fine I already LIKE you. Relax I LIKE you.” and she’s like “wait wut??” because it’s like she was struggling and then someone just dropped the prize in her lap because of some one thing she did and she’s confused and like oh good I mean wtf just happened??? But you’ve given her an emotional rollercoaster ride that the other guy who was talking to her and the guys on tinder etc have no idea how to make her feel

– remember ppl bond thru sharing emotional experiences. If we can’t talk but we survive on an island after a plane crash together we will be brothers for life when we get back to civilization. So it doesn’t matter that none of what you did made sense logically. You could make it as ridiculous as possible. “Oh you don’t like older men (loud) wow why do you hate old disabled people? (to the ppl beside you) This girl pushed an old disabled man down the stairs how fucked up is that.” All that matters is that she feels an emotional rollercoaster with you.

– investment. A prize you don’t have to work for isn’t worth much. The more you invest to get something the more you value it. The harder it is for her to get you to like her, the more value your attention must be worth. Chick logic. “If I’m investing so much effort to qualify myself to him so he views me right, then he must be high value because I wouldn’t qualify myself to a low value man”. When Julien gets into his “get on your knees and beg me for my number” stuff (and like his infield clip in that vid where he tells the girl she thinks he’s just like any other guy and makes her grab him and tell him she likes him and makes her say what she likes about him etc) he making them invest hardcore. Because they invest so much, they need closure. ie – if you beg a girl to take your number, she’s not going to give a shit when you txt. But if you make HER beg, and in juliens case basically debase herself for your approval and drive her thru enough qualifying and investing she will NEED to fuck you to justify all that investment...because if she invests all that and debases herself for you then DOESNT get the lay, I mean, then she was just dumb and embarrassed herself. But if she fucks you then it was all a brilliant plan on her part. At least that’s her logic lol

No one goes to a theater to watch 2 hours of happy people being happy. They go to feel a rollercoaster of emotions good and bad. It makes them feel alive.

Women fall hard for men who know how to take them high, and drop them fast, until their pretty little hearts are sitting on their sleeves.


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