Scientific Evidence That Men Dig Barely Legal Chicks


From the original article on May 10, 2013. Author: Chateau Heartiste.

We had to search high and low, but we finally found it: good news for feminists and growly cougars!

Via valued commenter Chris (who adds his commentary), scientists have found that men DO NOT prefer maximally fertile women.

Useful facts: Residual Value=0=hitting the wall. [ed: RV means “an individual’s future reproductive potential or total expected reproductive success from the present time forward”.]

Men evolved to find max RV attractive=late adolescents most attractive, not most fertile i.e. not women in early-mid twenties.

New word learned=nulliparous. [ed: it means “never having borne a child”]

On page 116:

“For any given woman, RV is age-dependent. It increases throughout childhood as she successfully passes through a period during which death but not reproduction is possible, reaches a maximum at the beginning of the reproductive period [typically the late teens], and steadily declines thereafter, reaching zero at the onset of menopause. [...]

A number of authors have argued that men are attracted to features associated with RV.... In particular, some authors have argued that men are attracted to features associated with women’s age of maximum RV, late adolescence... And indeed, many studies show that sexually attracted features are maximally developed in women at these ages. Women’s breasts, for instance, develop at puberty, reaching adult size by late adolescence. Men are particularly attracted to breasts that are firm, upright, and characterized by relatively reduced nipple pigmentation. These features peak during adolescence and in young, nulliparous women... Women’s waist-to-hip ratio (WHR) is a phenotypic indicator of the ratio of gynoid fat distributed throughout the hips and buttocks to android fat around the abdomen. In many modern and traditional populations, men find women’s bodies with relatively low WHRs (around .7)... particularly attractive. WHRs reach minimum values during adolescence and, on average, rise as a function of women’s age and parity...”

Feminists rejoice! The “prime fertile age” trope has been debunked!

Oh, wait.

Hold on a sec. Still reading...

What’s this? Men actually prefer women YOUNGER THAN MAXIMALLY FERTILE?

Men are most attracted to late adolescent girls?

Oh, fuckity fuck douchecanoe douchenozzle. {fistpump retracted} I am a sad feminist hanging onto sanity by a snarky ASCII thread. I shall now retreat to my Jezebel hovel and make up a few more empty-headed neologisms using the words “douche” and “fuckity” to gently escort my battered ego back to the confines of a safe, protective femcunt circle diddle.

What was on first glance thought to be good news is now bad news for feminists and growly cougars:

Men sport the hardest, longest, evolutionarily evidentiary boners for girls in the 15-19 year old range, arbitrary legal demarcations be damned.

Barely legal babes. Sweet sixteens. Captivating coeds. Gloriously gynoid girly girls.

It’s enough to make an aging beauty on the accelerating morph from gynoid to android turn to cats and cookie dough straight from the tube.

To sum up the latest science behind the male lust for sexxxy sirens:

As CH has asserted in the past, and as science has now proven, men are most attracted to women aged 15-25, and the raw physical attraction is strongest for girls between 15 and 20. Men are not most attracted to maximally fertile women (which would correspond to the mid to late 20s for most women); rather, men are most attracted to women with the GREATEST POTENTIAL for reproductive success over a lifetime, aka RV (residual value).

The evolved preference of men is for women at the beginnings of their reproductive lives, so that men may subconsciously exploit for their own genetic gain the full health and reproductive potential of those luminescent late adolescent lasses. A man who impregnates a 19 year old woman glowing gynoidally with untapped tapping promise and has five kids with her over a twenty year reproductive career evolutionarily beats out the man who impregnates a maximally fertile 28 year old woman and has three kids with her over her remaining ten year reproductive career.

Ah, I do love the scorching fires of a powerfully ugly, yet beautiful, truth in the morning.


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