Subverting A Girl's Efforts To Qualify You


From the original article on April 26, 2013. Author: Chateau Heartiste.

There’a a game technique known as “qualification” which serves as a status raising mechanism during interactions with hypergamous girls (which are all of them). The idea is that, by screening girls for qualities you want in them, you simultaneously signal your higher value. You are a man with so many romantic options you can pick and choose which women you want in your life.

This is a radical concept for most men, because men, as the “chaser” sex, rarely think to qualify girls for acceptability. Mostly, men are thinking how best to impress a girl so that she will reward him with her sex. A man who qualifies a woman — essentially doing to a woman what a woman would do instinctually to a man — sets himself so far apart from the mass of malehood that women can’t help but swoon at his feet.

The flip side to this is dealing with women’s attempts to qualify you. And qualify you they will, because women are guided by a primal limbic force to assess a man’s intrinsic mate quality, a holistic quality which they cannot get from merely looking at him.

Myxomatosis (gross!) writes,

Off-topic, but I figure I’d share...a girl recently asked me in a bar one night who did I prefer best: Van Halen with David Lee Roth or Van Halen with Sammy Hagar? I answered David Lee Roth. She said: “Good, because if you answered Sammy Hagar I would have walked away. Now i know what kind of man you are. Van Halen makes sissy music with Hagar.”

Myx’s anecdote is a classic of the genre. She qualified him. The fact that she was interested enough to determine his opinion on something that ostensibly mattered to her is an indication that she’s aroused and sex is bubbling forth from the back of her brain. But she’s also a little insecure and wants to get “hand”. The more a girl likes you, the more insecure she will feel, and the harder she will try to maintain hand. Girls are all too aware that once they lose hand, they quickly succumb to sexual abandon.

Get used to the idea that girls are walking paradoxes. They attempt to undermine exactly that which they most desire. Women desire dominant men who have earned “hand” over them, but they will work tirelessly to prevent men from achieving that hand, or they will work to exert the force of their own hand. If you think this is crazy, understand that a woman will feel as if she has failed if she did not adequately test a man for his strength of hand. Honor is a man’s purpose in life. The shit test is a woman’s.

When a girl qualifies you, one way you handle it is by AGREEING & AMPLIFYING:

“Wow. I WIN. WINNING. I can’t tell you how awesome I feel right now that you approve of my musical taste.”

Make sure she catches the sarcasm. Or, you could go lower key:

“Am I being graded on a curve?”

The trick is to take a girl’s qualification test and use its power against her. Another powerful technique for subverting a girl’s effort to qualify you is to DISQUALIFY yourself. For instance,

“Hagar, totally. Top 40 rock ballad Van Halen is authentic. The real deal. I have his poster over my bed.”

Disqualifying yourself (DQ) shows you don’t need the girl’s approval.

Whatever you do, don’t allow yourself to get trapped by a woman’s qualification. Don’t give a straight answer. Don’t give an earnest answer, unless it’s to fuck with her expectations by dropping a DQ on her. Most men can’t resist the urge to appease or brag when a cute girl inquires about their worth, so don’t be most men.

What to do if a girl tries to subvert your own qualification of her? Roll with it! You have just experienced what flirting is all about. The parrying, the evasion, the hand over hand over hand maneuvers, the sly redirections — that, my friend, is the flirt. And chicks dig the flirt.

But since you’re worried that girls will be as evasive as you are, I have good news: most girls are happy to be qualified, they love it, and they swiftly oblige the qualifier because they love to talk about themselves. When a man qualifies a girl, she is usually so taken aback with shock at his wonderful impudence that she can’t help but stick her foot right in his beaver trap.


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