Sweeps Week: 2015 Punchable Shitlib Face Tournament Semifinals


From the original article on December 15, 2015. Author: Chateau Heartiste.

We’re back for the 2015 punchable shitlib face semifinals!

Bout 1: Matty “Yce Yce Baby” Yglesias vs Dylan “I’m hiding a buttplug” Matthews

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Don’t be surprised if your hand reflexively curls into a fist looking at Yglesias. And multiple viewings which could conceivably inure you to his smug doughboy plushness don’t seem to lessen the urge (more like amplifies it).

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Trouty Mouth“.

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Bout 2: Pajamaboy vs Lindsey Graham

Keep in mind, president buttsecks and his staff thought this milquetoast clad in jammies sipping from a hot mug of cocoa was a good representative to sell their healthcare boondoggle.

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“Phew, do you smell that?! Oh, teehee, it was me!” Peter Pan, meet yourself in fifty years.

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Stop the lugenpresses! We have a last-minute punchable shitlib face addition to the cards! He’s a former heavyweight champion of punchability, and a million Buzzfeed fans demanded his inclusion, so the winner of the Yglesias vs Matthews match will advance to a bonus bout against

McKay Coppins.

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my hand... curling into a fist....... cannot stop it........ cannot....... *SWING*....... *CRACK*..........ahhhhhhhhhh

McKay Coppins, for those who really must know the bios of our nation’s listicle artisans, is an ur-shitlib who lies for Buzzfeed. His mug is making the rounds because he was at a recent Trump rally and claimed to have overheard someone yell “Light the motherfucker on fire!” to a protestor; “someone” likely meaning him, a left wing plant. Look at that doughy concave croissant Coppins sports for a face. It’s easy to picture him screeching “light the motherfucker on fire” in a faggy tone with a barely-concealed smirk as he thinks of all the good copy this will generate for his online bathhouse.


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