War Of The Roses

Listed under Heartiste: 2009.Theme

From the original article on April 21, 2009. Author: Chateau Heartiste.

There is a local radio station that runs a prank every week called “War of the Roses”. The station enlists a willing participant — usually a girlfriend/wife — who suspects she is being cheated on by her boyfriend/husband. Sometimes the girl gives the name of the other woman she suspects her boyfriend is banging. The DJ will then pose as a flower merchant and call the boyfriend to tell him he has won a contest and the prize is a free bouquet of flowers he can have delivered to anyone he wishes. Over the station’s phones, the poor dupe’s girlfriend will secretly listen in on his decision.

Almost every guy falls for this prank. And nearly all of them are confirmed as cheaters, because nine times out of ten the boyfriend will have the flowers delivered to his mistress/downlow lover, and hysterics of varying dramatic force by the jilted girlfriend/wife will ensue over the phones. It’s good fun for everyone but the couple.

The prank, besides its entertainment value, serves to demonstrate quite clearly how alpha males behave and how women react to alphas. As I’ve written before, when you are starting out the best way to learn game is to observe a natural alpha in field — his mannerisms, speech, attitude, and deftness with which he handles a woman’s shit. (You can also learn a lot about what *not* to do by observing the natural beta in the field.)

Since it’s self-evident that nearly all men who have the option of cheating on their girlfriends are alpha (1. they have a girl, 2. they are attractive to other girls, 3. they have the testosterone to not give a fuck about the repercussions), the “War of the Roses” prank is a window into the relationships of women with alpha males, and Exhibit A on how alpha males react when they have wronged their women.

What you will learn from this prank won’t be surprising to anyone who is a reader of my blog, but it’s fun to have the theory proven correct — again and again — by real life examples, and proven so incontrovertibly, too. So how do the boyfriends react when the prank is revealed, their unfaithfulness uncovered, and their girlfriends’ voices cracking with tears and anger?

• He will never apologize or get defensive. One guy said he was sorry, and that was the only guy I can remember whose girlfriend dumped him over the air.
• He will first curse out the DJ before acknowledging his girlfriend’s presence on the phones. This can go on for an amusingly long time as the girlfriend tries to get a word in edgewise.
• He will go on the offensive, accusing his girlfriend of “blowing things out of proportion”, “being a bitch for calling him out on the radio”, or “getting way too dramatic”. He will often tell his girlfriend to shut up and stop crying, then in an ominous tone of voice, “we’ll talk about this later”. He preempts his girlfriend’s fury and indignation with his own.
• The girlfriend will try to get him to prostrate himself, asking “Why?” and “How do you think this makes me feel?” He will never oblige.
• The girlfriend will ask about the other woman. “Do you love her?” “Does she have something I don’t?” He will never oblige.
• If the girlfriend hurls imprecations at him, and the drama level reaches Code Irate, he will hang up with a jaded “Fuck you”, “This is horseshit” or “I’m done” while the DJs beg him to stay on the line.
• After he has hung up, the DJs will ask the girlfriend if she will stay with her alpha cheating boyfriend — or rather, they’ll try to persuade her to dump the guy — and, invariably, she will hem and haw and make excuses and you just know she isn’t going anywhere. Some of the girls even mention his positive qualities, which are funny in themselves as these qualities often take the form of “he makes me feel special”.

Occasionally, a cheating boyfriend turns out to be a beta at heart. (Yes, natural born betas sometimes cheat, but it’s rare because the opportunity is limited.) You can always tell these guys, because they are the ones whose voices go shaky as they mousily deny wrongdoing and then apologize profusely when the jig is up. After his confession, he is in ankle-grabbing mode and his girlfriend and the DJs anally rape his dignity on the air. He will shower her with promises. She will then threaten to dump him, her voice tone having switched abruptly from hurt girlfriend to ballcutting bitch lawyercunt, and she will usually hang up first, while he futilely laments “Man, I fucked up.”

Maxim #49: If you plan on cheating and get caught, act like a total dick who did nothing wrong. Your girlfriend will then wonder if it’s something she did.

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