From the original article on June 8, 2011. Author: Chateau Heartiste.
A reader requests help with his inner game:
I’ve been reading your blog for a while now, and, needless to say, it has been a MASSIVE help with my game. However, I have a few questions, or I should say remaining obstacles, in the way I practice game. I’m a naturally introverted person, so it is often difficult to enter the proper frame of mind before interacting with women, or anyone else for that matter. As Mystery had explained in his book, being surrounded by a group of friends can be a strong DHV; however, this often seems like a huge hurdle to pass for me, which is also why I find myself uncomfortable in a bar/club environment and prefer lower-key environments such as a coffee shop or bookstore, etc.
My question to you is, what is a good “warm up” to help myself enter the proper frame of mind for game? Roosh has helped clarify the matter in his book, as he explained that before you even exit the house early in the day, you should be in a more outgoing mood. Also, a major deterrent for me many times is the fact that I find myself trying frantically to search for a “cocky-funny” thing to say to a woman to open and continue in conversation. What is a good method to use that may help prevent this from happening? Thanks for any info.
Ok, first, on the cocky/funny tip: As soon as you start racking your brain for entertaining banter, you have condemned yourself to failure. Good banter should flow effortlessly if you’re doing it right. Generally, the more comfortable you are around someone (or some group) the easier you will find the cocky-funny lines tumbling off your tongue. Tension, anxiety and discomfort are the banter killers. If you’re feeling stressed around women, that’s because your inner game is WEAK and FEEBLE, and you are thinking in outcome-based terms rather than interaction-based terms. Remind yourself before every approach that you are there to screen women for compatibility and coolness. This will put your mind in an offensive frame, pushing outward against the mediocre masses of womanhood, instead of defensively recoiling, dreading rejection or anxiously anticipating connection.
The male mind is at its manliest when it is on the offense, goading enemies, exposing soft underbellies, or mercilessly judging potential mates. Embolden your freedom to judge, and you will smooth the path to seduction.
Second, on “warm-ups”: naturally introverted men shouldn’t have to push themselves to levels of social extroversion that are too far beyond their comfort zones. Doing this will sap all the fun from learning game, because deviating too wildly from his genetic script can counterproductively steer a man away from his goals. Don’t try to say “hi” to every person you pass on the street. But do try to greet at least one more stranger in a day than you normally do. Starting a benign conversation with even just one person is sometimes enough to kick start a nascent endorphin rush that can carry you through two or three cold approaches.
If the thought of talking to strangers gives you hives, then get on the phone and talk to a friend or sibling. Shit, talk to *yourself* if that’s what it takes. Anything to get your mouth moving and your brain lubed up is a good thing. In fact, speaking self-motivational thoughts out loud makes them ten times more effective than running them silently through your head. Try it sometime; you’ll see what I mean.
Here’s a start: Wake up every morning knowing that women would love to have the boredom of their daily routines smashed by your precious few words of acknowledgement. You are giving them the gift of novelty, and it’s they who are going to struggle with nerves trying to figure out how best to reply to your pleasant life interruptions. See what I just did there? Reframe. That’s your ticket to tight inner game.
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