From the original article on October 12, 2007. Author: Chateau Heartiste.
Clarification:
*By younger, I mean 5+ years younger than me and legal. Pervs.
*By older, I mean closer to my age (not more than 4 years younger) and up.
Younger
Met a girl for a date at a county park. She had arrived first and was sitting on a swing. I pushed the swing before either of us exchanged any words. She wheee-ed with joy. I then chased her around parked cars in the parking lot.
Older
Asked a girl to meet me at the park for frisbee. She declined, saying she didn’t want to step in dog poop.
Younger
Made out passionately with her and digitally aroused her under a streetlamp at 4AM.
Older
She told me “could you please close the blinds before we start?” when we were about to have sex.
Younger
Talked about double-headed dildos.
Older
Talked about the housing market.
Younger
Ordered a beer. And then another. And another. And another.
Older
Returned the hummus because it wasn’t the right consistency.
Younger
Squealed happily with faux indignation when I called her a brat.
Older
Got seriously offended when I called her a brat.
Younger
Was completely open to visiting new places and trying novel things on dates.
Older
Had to be home by 11 for a big meeting the next morning.
Younger
Multi-orgasmic.
Older
Artificial lubrication required.
Younger
Firm, smooth flesh. Naturally moistened lips. Excellent buttock musculature.
Older
Spongy, chemically exfoliated flesh. Addicted to chapstick. Buttocks showing signs of weariness.
Younger
Loves spontaneously.
Older
Rations her emotions.
Younger women... it’s my only weakness.
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