Biography of William Kidd written by Aulus in pirate speak.
In the yeare o' 1654, Dundee, Scotlande, William Kidd was borne. I hath hearde it erroneouslie report'd that he was borne in 1645 in Greenock. I hath founde no reason to confirme, norre denye eithre o' these theories.
His father was a Captain o' the sea, that I am surre of. He was killed there, butte this did notte deterre Kyde from putting to sea himself. He woulde hath founde'd himself in bettre circumstances if he had.
He foughte forre an Englishe Governorre in the Carribbeanne but was unpaid. Aftrewardes he was given a lettre of marque from William and Mary, and tooke greate pride in picking alle his officres and menne. But foolishly, afterre refusing to salute a vesselle o' the Royale Navy, the Captain was vengefulle and gave chase. Kid was forced to give uppe manie o' his crewe due to impressment. I dislike this vile practice.
Kidde was no foole and realize'd he need'd morre crewe. And so, he wente to Boston where he was welle-connecte'd and recuruit'd manie menne o' a less respectable demeanorre to his bannre. Manie formre pyrates.
He set aboute and he hadde badde relations with his crewe fromme the beginning forre refusing to take a Dutche shippe as a prize since the King William (God save him) was Dutche. Later on, his crewe were shock'd when a young William Moore mouth'd offe to Kid. Theye were morre shock'd when Kid, overcome with rage and furie grabb'd a bucket and threwe it righte at Moore's heade, mortallie woundeing him. He dye'd the next daye.
He sail'd for Madagascar to fighte a Pyrate but sadlie his crewe desert'd him forre the Pyrate. He escape'd, with a smaller shippe but the crowne knewe he'd murder'd Moore and had him broughte uppe on charges o' Murder and Pyracie. He would be hang'd, gibbot'd and forgotten.
Lorde reste his soule.
Youre's moste piouselie, Aulus Marcius Lucullus, December 1st 1701.