From the original article on June 19, 2008. Author: Chateau Heartiste.
I get this occasionally from some girls I date, usually after they have dumped a major shit test on me and I am forced to respond with advanced game:
“Why does everything have to be a test with you?”
I thought about this and reflected on my history with women. It was partly true. With certain girls I’ve dated, I was in game mode all the time. One girl even said that she knew when I would return her calls because I would always wait the requisite 20 minutes.
Dispiritingly, dogmatic game — press this button, pull that lever — will work as intended. You can never truly BE YOURSELF with women because almost all men being themselves will regress to lounging on the couch in their underwear as long as their basic needs are met. Literally, you could put a feeding tube in a guy’s mouth, a drainage tube up his anus, a playstation controller in his hand, and a girl’s mouth on his cock and he’ll lay there like that until he spontaneously self-combusts.
And women too. Look what happens to women who have totally given up on finding a man — they blow up like whales, wear flip flops all the time, and cut their hair short. When you see a frumpy, charmless, fat woman you know she is BEING HERSELF.
So why do I overgame with some girls and not others? It’s not a looks thing. Some of the prettiest girls I’ve been with were a breeze to handle once in a relationship, even though during the first crucial dates they were the toughest to game. Hot girls tend to frontload their gameplaying, so if you breach their beachhead it’s a clear march to center city.
I think it’s an ego issue, or maybe one of intelligence. Very smart girls are always on the lookout for Machiavellian maneuvers in their men because they do it themselves. The world is our mirror. Combined with a powerful but sensitive ego, a girl like this will be hyperaware of manipulation and deathly afraid of getting hurt. Stephane of Ideagasms calls these types of women (and men) Interrogators — a subspecies of Energy Vampires:
Interrogators are (initially) difficult to detect, because
they are perfectionists; These people see the life as a
competitive GAME and they are quite masterful when it comes
to manipulating others.Their philosophy? “Life is just a game – You either play
by the rules, or you’re a loser.” They see the world as
Win/Lose instead of Win/Win.That’s a great metaphor for explaining what Interrogators
do to people, because when you spot an Interrogator and try
to gently point out what he or she is doing, they too will
pretend that they are innocent and that this heavily
ingrained and entirely OBVIOUS pattern of behavior does not
exist.Then they will turn around and casually remark that there is
something wrong with YOU. They’ll go, “Why would you say
that? Why are you so PARANOID, huh?” (Notice they are not
really asking a question, but rather, making a statement
about you.)Or they will accuse you of being “too sensitive”... as if
*sensitivity* was a bad thing!MANY of the top “seduction community gurus” are simply
INTERROGATORS. This is why they “play the game” and have
all sorts of complicated “chess moves” and strategies for
interacting with women. They have a HIDDEN AGENDA.Interrogators ask a lot of rhetorical questions, and often play
“Devil’s advocate”. But, the questions they ask are not
questions at all! It is their attempt to break down your
reality in the form of negative presuppositions about you.
Overgaming can be caustic to forming a relationship with a girl you really like. The best relationships are built on a foundation of sincerity, not mutually asssured deconstruction. It’s a tragedy when the couple really like each other and the mutual gaming undermines the potential for a deeper connection. Game and ego-protection will always be a necessary component of any interaction you have with quality women, but it should be relegated to a supplement after a certain amount of bonding has occurred. At some point, you have to open your heart and let the chips fall where they may.
So when I game too much for too long, it’s with the girls who deserve it. If I’m getting shit tested all the time, or she’s in Aloof and Indifferent mode every other day, or I sense that she’s hiding something, I will respond in kind. We calibrate our actions and behavior to match the other person’s. Women, being the gatekeepers and mate choosers, are responsible for how men strategize to get in their pants and their hearts. If a girl makes it hard for a guy to be sincere by playing Miss Scheming Queen, he will react with more game. If she’s letting him know how much she loves him, he will be real with her.
You get what you give.
Make no mistake, this is not an anti-game screed. Game is absolutely essential in the beginning stages (See: Mystery Method’s A1 – S3) for every women you want to sex, unless your value is so much higher than hers that you can do nothing and she’ll throw herself on your junk. Relationship game is also important to keep the embers burning.
But in time the doubt has to ease and the soul has to breathe. Anything less would be... uncivilized.
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