So You Want To Be A Badboy

Listed under Heartiste: 2008.Theme

From the original article on July 14, 2008. Author: Chateau Heartiste.

Here is a partial list of behaviors that badboys do around their women.

• A badboy will occasionally tell his girl to “fuck off”, “shut up”, or “shut the fuck up”, sometimes even when she deserves it.
• When his girl tells an unfunny joke, a badboy will look right at her and not laugh at all, making her feel uncomfortable.
• His GF lives out of town. She calls him and wants to drive into town to see him. A badboy will tell her “No” once in a while but give her no reason why, because he wants to hit the bars with his crew that night and hook up with another girl.
• His GF drove into town anyway and went to the bar with him. A badboy would make sure she doesn’t kiss him in public and instead use her like an advertising billboard to atract other girls. He will get another girl’s number and tell his GF he only wants to make a new friend.
• A girl a badboy has just met tells him she has a boyfriend and makes him promise to not kiss her that night. The badboy says “Sure” and kisses her later, anyway. Then he slides his hand up her skirt for good measure.
• In extreme circumstances, a badboy will kick his girl out of the car... while it’s still rolling to a stop.
• A badboy will forget every birthday, anniversary, and holiday. He will never apologize for his forgetfulness, but he will make it up to her by giving her the rogering of her life.
• If a girl tries to make him jealous, the badboy will tell her she should get out of his hair and go marry the new guy if she likes him so much, they’re perfect together. He will then hum the tune “Here Comes the Bride” but will call it “Here Comes the Bitch”.
• When his GF tells him “I love you”, the badboy will reply “Cool beans” while thinking about his date next Tuesday with girl #2.
• A badboy will use “BEYOTCH!” non-ironically.
• A badboy will be late for every date by at least 10 minutes, no exceptions. He will act as if nothing is wrong.
• If caught with another woman, the badboy will not beg forgiveness or make excuses. He will instead “remind” his primary girl that he is dating around until he finds his soulmate. If he’s a really badass badboy, he’ll tell her he’s been waiting for her to join the fun and then pat the bed.
• A badboy does not hide the video camera set up in his bedroom. Or the other girls’ hair on the pillows.
• “I’ve had enough of your shit” is a stock badboy response to his GF acting out. He will use it liberally, and accentuate the point by putting on oversized headphones and bobbing his head to the music.
• A badboy knows he has something the world’s betas don’t — the cahones to WALK. He’ll walk out the door at the slightest provocation or annoyance, slamming it shut for added effect, thereby setting the standard VERY HIGH indeed for his GF to remain on her best behavior around him.
• Badboys never split the domestic chores and always leave the seat up. “Equal” is not part of their vocabulary.
• Badboys will surprise fuck their GFs in public... with children nearby.
• Badboys never talk about their work with their women. They always keep it fun, light, and teasing.
• Badboys know it’s OK to get angry and bitch your woman out. They do not fear the consequences.

If you are struggling to attract women, get laid, and fall in mutual love, then incorporate the badboy behaviors into your life and watch your girl troubles melt away.

Library of Chadnet | wiki.chadnet.org