From the original article on October 24, 2008. Author: Chateau Heartiste.
have the power of:
Invisibility?
Immortality?
Flight?
Super strength?
Irresistible sexual magnetism?
A giant cock that never fails to please? (Perfect body and face if you are a woman)
Invisibility would let you enter girls’ locker rooms and bathrooms unnoticed. This is like Porky’s minus the peepholes. As an invisible person, you could pilfer cash registers and rob banks unmolested. You could film upskirt videos all day long.
Immortality — tough to top this. Like in the movie Groundhog Day, immortality would allow you to hone your game to perfection. Approach a thousand sets? Please, give me a real challenge! After a few millennia picking up chicks in cities around the world you’d be such a formidable PUA the bards will write songs about you. Johnny Depp would sign up for your bootcamp. The perfect age at which to acquire immortality? Men: 30. Women: 20.
Flight is cool. Flight is alpha. It is the ultimate DHV (demonstration of higher value. literally!). Heroes sucks because Nathan hardly ever uses his ability to fly. It’s like he’s ashamed of it. What a pussy. I’d be up in the air all the time. Having trouble closing the deal on that Day 2? Just lean in and whisper “Hey, lemme show you something”, put your arm around her waist, and glide over the city. Instant orgasm.
Super strength is another DHV, but one of limited applicability. Lift a car aside so your girl has room to parallel park? Awesome. Knock out a roomful of meatheads for the sheer joy of it? That’s try hard. You’ll get laid by sluts with high primitiveness, but the quality girls will roll their eyes.
Irresistible sexual magnetism means you would pick up the handful of chicks who aren’t turned on by flying in the air with the guy above. It’s big advantage is that you don’t need to do jack shit to get laid. Just sit on a chair and wait for the girls to come to you. There’s not much thrill of the chase, but it does make life easier. I predict a lot of betas would choose this power.
As I am blessed with an enormous, pussy pleasing cock, I can only tell you this power is as good as you’d imagine. My life would be so much easier if it was socially acceptable to unzip and let it roll to the ground on first dates. Unfortunately, I still have to go through the motions of courting women.
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